I used to work as a software store that shall remain namelss, but it's initials are E. B.
We had a great crew and all got along splendidly. We were 'practical joke central' but most would take too long to explain. Anyhoo..
We had all sorts of strange customers, and several were notorious for trying to return things for the most outrageous of reasons. Once we had a guy try to return DOS 3.1 when Windows 95 first came out. His reason? "It doesn't work with my new OS".. And the company policy at the time, after calling the district manager, was to take it back, at original retail price of $49.95... Dear GOD!
The chain, as far as I can tell, still sells returned (and often pirated or defective) software as NEW.. Be aware.
Anyway, after a while of this, the return policy became an inside joke at the store, and we would try to come up with the most outrageous and unrealistic scenarios, and just have a chuckle.
Well, at one point, the company was running a promotion whereby with every game cartridge sold, we were to give away an audio tape of some generic music. Since no one really seemed interested in the music, the other guys and I got to destroy plenty of the audio tapes in the most creative of ways.
One evening, out of sheer boredom, I gutted one music tape and left the tangle of tape in the stock room trash. I was coming back in at noon the next day and the manager was openning the store at 10am. When I arrived, the manager asked me to come in back. He pointed at the trash, with the tape spilling over the top of the basket and asked what had happenned the previous night.
I explained that a customer had come in right before closing with the ball of tape in his arms. I said that the customer had bought a QIC-80 backup tape the previous day, and was returning it, since the tape cartridge said the tape was 101.5 meters long, but all he had gotten was 98.7 meters.
I wish I had had a video camera to capture the range of colors the manager turned as the realization of yet another idiot customer making yet another preposterous return sank in. After he became something between crimson and mauve, I could no longer keep a straight face and I started to laugh.
That was probably one of the most amusing, though least elaborate of gags pulled at EB #325 during my tennure there. Over the 5 years I was there, furniture was bolted to the ceiling, the stock room toilet was shrink-wrapped, a pair of spy-glasses was located in the stock room to provide ready viewing of the lingere store across the mall, various cardboard standee displays were defiled and mutilated in perverse and gruesome ways, Christmas garland was turned into a viscious creature from a bad horror movie, nickles were stuck together in pairs (to make them easier to count), mall security was repeatedly antagonized and the sales floor was turned into an alien invasion zone.
Interestingly, our sales were great, our expertise and reputation with 'serious' customers (those who knew something about computers and didn't just copy software or 'rent' games) exceeded those of other area branches. Our 'shrink' was negligible and our employee loyalty was stellar. Odd how letting your staff have a good time gets you a good staff. Very interesting indeed.
Some days, the manifold increase in renumeration does not offset the sheer enjoyment of Gag Central. Oh well, I may have gotten older, but I refuse to mature, and my present office is just ripe for the picking..
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