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[P]
What's the best practical joke you've played?

By Tatarigami in Culture
Tue Sep 11, 2001 at 04:13:11 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

As I heard my flatmate's car crunch down the gravel slope into the garage, I pulled my door shut with a click and waited.

Her radio fell silent. There was the sound of a car door creaking open and a jingle of keys. Then the connecting door between garage and flat swung open and high heels clicked down the wooden hallway floor into the living room.

Another click was the screen of her PC being switched on, and then...

"Aaargh! Tat! Did you do this?!"

...she was confronted by dozens of images of my face tesselating across her screen, while a blinking message urged her to "vote 'no' to human cloning".


Okay, I agree with you -- it wasn't all that funny. All I can say in my defense is that it was a spur of the moment thing, and I didn't have that much time to arrange it. And I used a passport photo, so no matter what you're imagining she saw on that screen, the reality was ten times less pleasant. Nevertheless, after a stiff whiskey, and a few dire hints at what would happen if I didn't change her background back pronto, she was able to laugh about it. No harm done, at least until she discovered what I'd also done to her toothpaste.

I think we need a little bit of funny to wash down all the serious we've had through the submission queue lately, so I'm asking you: what's the best practical joke you've played?

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Poll
Practical joking is
o irresponsible and stupid. 6%
o not as funny as you think. 15%
o harmless, if done right. 38%
o a good way to keep your friends alert. 11%
o an important service to mankind. 27%

Votes: 44
Results | Other Polls

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What's the best practical joke you've played? | 25 comments (25 topical, editorial, 1 hidden)
Practical joke? (3.66 / 6) (#1)
by Signal 11 on Mon Sep 10, 2001 at 09:14:54 PM EST

Well, you can't go wrong with a big bottle of liquid nitrogen and about 300 inflated balloons. Take the balloons, dip them in the nitrogen, after they deflate, throw them into an insulated cooler. Repeat. Drop the result off in someone's apartment or office. Because most coolers have a plastic interior, I recommend you be very, very, careful... it'll shatter at nothing, and may not even support the weight of the balloons. we used a steel cooler (difficult to transport, but works a lot better). [NOTE: Remove all breakables from the room - glass, etc, before you do this!]

The most recent practical joke I played was on a friend - I hacked the registry to have lego porn as his login screen under Windows 2000.


--
Society needs therapy. It's having
trouble accepting itself.

Ah, the memories (4.60 / 5) (#6)
by Tatarigami on Mon Sep 10, 2001 at 11:20:12 PM EST

Speaking of computer-related practical jokes, I'm reminded of a story told by the computing courses co-ordinator back when I was at tech. It related back to a time when 286s were considered to be pretty nifty technology and the polytech was (and still is) in an area which wasn't real well known for producing technically astute people.

The tech's first fumbling steps towards computer training was pretty basic -- actually, a lot of the students had never had any contact with a PC before, so the network and the login screen which gave access to it were something of a novelty to them and many mistakes were made.

The co-ordinator (just a lecturer at the time) was also the IT department, so there was no-one to stop him from editing a script at the login screen which waited for the student to enter their details incorrectly three times then flash across the screen "Invalid login detected. Your photo will now be taken for security purposes, please keep still." and make the screen blink white.

Apparently for weeks afterwards, it wasn't at all unusual to see startled students posing for the 'camera' inside the screen...

[ Parent ]
You want computer jokes? (4.50 / 2) (#25)
by Elendale on Sun Sep 16, 2001 at 10:19:57 PM EST

My opus of computer pranks:
In high school, i managed the libraries Macs. I acquired this position because the person in charge of them realized any security precaution he could put on them would be broken in approximately two seconds by anyone knowledgable and that he would rather have me cleaning up the mess than contributing to it. It was rather nice to have administrative privileges to these machines without having to crack them, but that's another story.
It goes like this: One April first, i got bored. One of the computer 'labs' was a round table with computers placed all the way around. I took all of the keyboards from the computers and plugged them into another computer, across the table. Then i sat down near the machines and waited for the end of the school day.
Sure enough, the lusers started pouring in- hoping to check their email, or go hunt for some pr0n (which was technically against school policy, but as long as they weren't frying the machines i didn't really bother them...) but it was not going to happen. As soon as the first of them sat down, i jumped to the computer with that computers keyboard- then hit the three sacred keys: control-alt-delete. This caused a look of confusion among the student, and after that machine was booted (and no mouse activity was present, giving the impression that the machine had frozen) so the student hit control-alt-delete as well, rebooting the machine across the table. Now that student was also curious as his mouse was moving all funny like (from another student trying to figure out why their mouse was moving all funny like) and when the machine reset, all hell broke loose. Soon, poor Macs were being rebooted like mad as students attempted to figure out just why the machines kept rebooting. I stood up and sat down to watch. It probably took around five minutes before someone finally asked me (as should have been done in the first place) just what the hell was going on.

-Elendale(It was so simple, yet strangely satisfying...)
---

When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.


[ Parent ]
Jin's gifts always come with a price... (2.54 / 11) (#2)
by Jin Wicked on Mon Sep 10, 2001 at 09:56:45 PM EST

Once upon a time, I had this friend who was a role-playing nut. She had stories and all kinds of stuff she'd done about her character. Well, after begging me for about two months (and casually "dropping" oh-wouldn't-this-be-nice" into conversation) I told her I'd draw her character for her. She lived in PA, and I live in TX, so she sent all the descriptions and stuff I would need over e-mail. I also happened to talk occasionally with her best friend in PA.

So I sent her the preliminary sketches and she was very excited about the drawing I was making for her. I had taken some photos of me working for my website at the time, and on my drafting table you could see the thing about half-inked sitting there. I showed that to her one day and explained that I was very sorry, but in the process of inking the final version I had turned over a bottle of ink by accident, ruined it, and that I would have to start over. At the time, the picture was actually completed and already in the mail. She was already having a bad day and apologized a million times to me and told me I could take as long as I needed, or didn't have to start over at all. I assured her it was OK and that it wouldn't take long to redo.

While this was going on, her best friend had actually received the artwork at his house and took it in to have it framed. She was having a really cruddy week, and I had made it somewhat worse by lying to her. He had intended to save it for her birthday or some holiday (I forget), but he ended up bringing it over to her house, where (according to him) she completely went nuts when she saw it. First she was mad that I got her so worked up, then she liked the picture. And then she tried to lie to me and tell me she got upset and threw it at the wall. As if I'm ever going to draw one to replace it or something. :)

I'm not sure whatever happened to the thing, because she eventually got engaged to her friend and I haven't spoken with the lady in years. The drawing used to be on my site, but it isn't anymore. I used to know lots of similar pranks that I'd done, but I can't much remember any of them now.


This post was probably not written by the real Jin Wicked. Please see user "butter pie" for Jin's actual posts.


Pff (1.00 / 10) (#9)
by plastik55 on Tue Sep 11, 2001 at 01:38:33 AM EST

That sucks, what a lame joke.

D'n'D players are lame-asses anyway.
w00t!
[ Parent ]
I played one on 1800 Jr High school students (4.75 / 12) (#3)
by onyxruby on Mon Sep 10, 2001 at 10:12:54 PM EST

Several years ago, beyond the statute of limitations a friend of mine and I decided to romp about town. One thing led to another and we soon had a small plethora of law enforcement types wishing to have a discussion with us. We did not wish to have this discussion and decided that we would save them the trouble. Thus in our desire to save both them and ourselves some trouble, we ended up on top of the local junior high school.

Now, we had a bit of time to wait until the law enforcement types decided to go away. Thus we were on the roof all alone with several hours to kill. Investigating the roof quickly became boring. There were only two things on it, pebbles and big green boxes. We were bored, did I mention this? Alas, we also once went to this educational institution once upon a time and had oft wondered of the contents of said big green boxes.

You can well imagine what happened next. I recall that there were a total of 21 of them. None of the boxes were locked. We soon satisfied our curiousity and boredom and had the boxes open. Inside we saw a large fan belt and two motors. It quickly became evident that these were the HVAC boxes for the heating. Since it was after hours only three of them were operational.

We decided to go ahead and remove the fan belts of the 18 that were not operational, knowing that this would effectively turn off the heat to 1800 some victims. Now we did not cut a single fan belt, we simply slipped them off the boxes and left them inside, careful so as not to leave the belt touching any moving parts. It was our thought that maintenence would discover this before even the first class was finished in the morning. This was late December in Minnesota, where it easily get very cold outside.

Foolish youth, we overestimated the staff of a beauracracy but did not so discover until late the next day. My friend and I climbed down right before dawn (law enforcement officers were stubborn, we were cold). Having had a peaceful nights sleep so rudely preempted by local law enforcement, we decided that we were entirely too sleepy to make for good students. Thus we walked home and spent the day playing computer games (anyone remember Dungeons of Moria - I'll give a hint, it did not require a video card or a color monitor to play).

Entrapped in our game, we had lost all track of time until my younger sister came home from school - and you just know which school. She walked straight towards my friend and I and muttered the immortal words "What did you do to the heat in the school". Mind, we had certainly not told her anything at all. We literally fell out of our chairs laughing. Denials at that point would have done no good, so we struck a deal.

We would tell the school exactly what we had done, but only if they couldn't figure it out on their own in two weeks. Remember about what I said about foolish youth being entirely too confident in the abilities of a beauracracy? We simply assumed that we would never have to fess up (and risk being caught) as the school had to be capable of finding something as simple as what we had done within two weeks. Yes, that was a very foolish thought indeed. Amazingly enough, two weeks later the school was still 40F/4C inside.

Two weeks later, almost to the minute my younger sister "reminded" us of our deal. When she found out how simple what we had done was, she didn't know if she should be mad at us, or maintenence for not figuring it out. She called the school, and told the receptionist what had happened and how to fix it. Luckily for us, this was before the days of caller ID. To this day I honestly have to wonder if the maintenence people are that incompetent or were just feeling evil.

The moon is covered with the results of astronomical odds.

I only wish I could take credit for it... (4.63 / 11) (#4)
by BOredAtWork on Mon Sep 10, 2001 at 10:37:34 PM EST

...it's NOT mine, nor did I have anything to do with it... but...

Virginia Tech has miles of sidewalks, which get chalked with phrases from almost every activist cause one can think of. During the agriculture club's free BBQ, someone had chalked "remember auschwitz" and other lovely slogans all around the ag booth. During Take Back the Night Week, people tagged benches, walls and streets with "1 in 4 women are raped," "Men, YOU are a potential rapist," etc. Some of this upset lots of people. A few weeks later, two days before one of the biggest football weekends of the year (50,000 people on campus for the game)...

I was walking to class Thursday morning, and as soon as I set foot on campus I saw "1 in 3 goats is a victim of incest," "EVERY goat is born to a teenage mother," and other goat-activist slogans. They were everywhere. VT is hundreds of acres, and this stuff covered all of it. It wasn't just chalk. There were fliers stapled to everything: "Please, save a goat now! Donate to the Christian Goats' Fun, and help now! Little Timmy lives in absolute squalor in a tin shack in Pittsburgh, and is forced to eat the feces of his brother/father and sister/aunt in order to survive!"

Campus cleanup crews were out in force, with everything from buckets of water to high-pressure hoses washing it off before the game :-).

I only wish I knew who did it, so I could buy 'em a beer for their creativity...

And, of course, the "real" activists were furious that they were parodied. That was the best part.

re-usable joke (2.42 / 7) (#5)
by spacejack on Mon Sep 10, 2001 at 10:48:15 PM EST

I did this every time I showed a newbie how to play Quake 1 deathmatch, playing dm5 (the castle interior, I forget the name). Anyways, you play for a while, kick their butt repeatedly, and then they start to ask "where's the rocket launcher"? So you say, "ok, go down to the end of the hall, look behind you, there's a button it opens the door, inside is a superhealth and a rocket launcher". Which is true. Except that you're inside that room with a rocket launcher.

Ok it's lame, but it's pretty funny.

another game practical joke (2.00 / 2) (#13)
by pfaffben on Tue Sep 11, 2001 at 12:10:00 PM EST

For one summer I worked in an office with a boss and some friends who were all avid gamers. About 5:00 pm each day Randy (the boss) would yell out that it was time to fire up WarCraft, and we'd all play for a bit before going home. If you've ever played WarCraft, then you know that at the beginning of the game you have just enough resources to built a hometown, and that doing this uses up practically everything you have and takes some time. So partway through building, Tim (a coworker and friend) yells out, ``Hey Randy, you can speed up construction by hitting Alt M, Escape!'' And Randy must have done so, because the next thing I heard from his office was a horrible scream—that particular key combination will cancel construction. Obviously, Randy lost that game.

[ Parent ]
Three somewhat regrettable practical jokes (3.50 / 8) (#7)
by driptray on Tue Sep 11, 2001 at 12:14:09 AM EST

As a 10-year old

Invited the enemy kids from up the road to visit my front yard. Told 'em to be there in 10 minutes time. Knew that they'd ride their bikes. Got home and strung fishing line across the driveway. Hid.

First kid turns the corner into the driveway at speed, hits the fishing line, his bike stops dead and he does a beautiful somersault onto the concrete. Other kids freak out. I laugh. Kids get back on their bikes and ride away.

As a 15-year old

New girl arrives at school. She's a little more "worldly" than all the other kids from my suburb. She's also game for anything.

Totally bland guy (we'll call him "Jock") has a big crush on the new girl. It's his first crush and he's pathetic.

New girl is given her assignment. She is to make friends with Jock, respond to his attentions, and agree to "go out" with him. She is then to be his girlfriend for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks she is to get him in front of all his friends at school and reveal that the whole thing was in fact a setup.

Now if you think that this was about the cruelest thing you can imagine to do to a 15 year old boy you'd be right, but in my defense is the belief held at the time that the scheme would never come close to working. It was more of an evil fantasy than an actual real attempt at total humilation.

What can I say? New girl played her part to perfection for the whole two weeks, and performed the crushing finale with relish in front of a large crowd. Jock was crushed. Didn't speak for a few weeks. I wonder if he ever recovered.

As a 25-year old

Working as a tech-support call-centre monkey. Made screen shots of Windows error messages and then used them as desktop backgrounds for colleagues' PCs.

Fun to see people trying to click an OK button for about a minute before realizing that it was just an image.


--
We brought the disasters. The alcohol. We committed the murders. - Paul Keating
Hmmm (4.42 / 7) (#10)
by jabber on Tue Sep 11, 2001 at 01:53:06 AM EST

I used to work as a software store that shall remain namelss, but it's initials are E. B.

We had a great crew and all got along splendidly. We were 'practical joke central' but most would take too long to explain. Anyhoo..

We had all sorts of strange customers, and several were notorious for trying to return things for the most outrageous of reasons. Once we had a guy try to return DOS 3.1 when Windows 95 first came out. His reason? "It doesn't work with my new OS".. And the company policy at the time, after calling the district manager, was to take it back, at original retail price of $49.95... Dear GOD!

The chain, as far as I can tell, still sells returned (and often pirated or defective) software as NEW.. Be aware.

Anyway, after a while of this, the return policy became an inside joke at the store, and we would try to come up with the most outrageous and unrealistic scenarios, and just have a chuckle.

Well, at one point, the company was running a promotion whereby with every game cartridge sold, we were to give away an audio tape of some generic music. Since no one really seemed interested in the music, the other guys and I got to destroy plenty of the audio tapes in the most creative of ways.

One evening, out of sheer boredom, I gutted one music tape and left the tangle of tape in the stock room trash. I was coming back in at noon the next day and the manager was openning the store at 10am. When I arrived, the manager asked me to come in back. He pointed at the trash, with the tape spilling over the top of the basket and asked what had happenned the previous night.

I explained that a customer had come in right before closing with the ball of tape in his arms. I said that the customer had bought a QIC-80 backup tape the previous day, and was returning it, since the tape cartridge said the tape was 101.5 meters long, but all he had gotten was 98.7 meters.

I wish I had had a video camera to capture the range of colors the manager turned as the realization of yet another idiot customer making yet another preposterous return sank in. After he became something between crimson and mauve, I could no longer keep a straight face and I started to laugh.

That was probably one of the most amusing, though least elaborate of gags pulled at EB #325 during my tennure there. Over the 5 years I was there, furniture was bolted to the ceiling, the stock room toilet was shrink-wrapped, a pair of spy-glasses was located in the stock room to provide ready viewing of the lingere store across the mall, various cardboard standee displays were defiled and mutilated in perverse and gruesome ways, Christmas garland was turned into a viscious creature from a bad horror movie, nickles were stuck together in pairs (to make them easier to count), mall security was repeatedly antagonized and the sales floor was turned into an alien invasion zone.

Interestingly, our sales were great, our expertise and reputation with 'serious' customers (those who knew something about computers and didn't just copy software or 'rent' games) exceeded those of other area branches. Our 'shrink' was negligible and our employee loyalty was stellar. Odd how letting your staff have a good time gets you a good staff. Very interesting indeed.

Some days, the manifold increase in renumeration does not offset the sheer enjoyment of Gag Central. Oh well, I may have gotten older, but I refuse to mature, and my present office is just ripe for the picking..

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"

Two simple ones (3.00 / 2) (#12)
by BlckKnght on Tue Sep 11, 2001 at 09:28:57 AM EST

Thought I've been indirectly involved in some pretty elaborate practical jokes, the one's I've pulled off myself have been pretty simple.

Last year at spring break I pulled a joke on a friend of mine by talking his roomate into rotating all their furnature 180 degrees around the center of the dorm room. When my friend got back from home and opened his door, It took him a minute or so to figure out what was different about his room.

Another simple joke/trick I've pulled on various April fools days over the years is to put a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink. If aimed properly, the next person who turns on the water gets sprayed.

-- 
Error: .signature: No such file or directory


Room changing ones (4.00 / 2) (#15)
by miller on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 02:00:15 PM EST

Been involved in a few of those. Best if there's a gang of you to get it done quickly - they don't expect to find their room completely different if they've just gone for a pee.

First one was a mirror image - so the windows and doors were in the same place. A nice easy one for starters.

Then there was the moving of the room to the landing. The landing was quite generous (and the rooms quite small). It was possible make it look like a room if the end of the stairs were out of sight. So that's what we did - bed, tv, posters, computer all up to the top floor - while the rest of us got him pretty damn drunk (it's not hard). He was quite quiet going to bed really - didn't seem to spot anything was wrong. Unfortunately (for him) he didn't wake up before the landlord came round the next day...

The finale was doing a room swap with the occupant in it. The occupant was (again) drunk and dead the the world, so the entire room was moved out into the back garden (minus the posters from the wall). The tricky part of this excercise was waking him up while keeping enough of a distance to see the result.

There were plenty of other little things, like film over toilet bowls, letters from imaginary people in authority, and various things you can convince people with a hangover they actually did last night, given enough witnesses to back you up - but nothing which took quite the manpower of a quick room swap.

What a waste.

--
It's too bad I don't take drugs, I think it would be even better. -- Lagged2Death
[ Parent ]

Room changing fun with sober people... (4.00 / 1) (#24)
by Elendale on Sun Sep 16, 2001 at 09:54:51 PM EST

Back when i was in high school and stage crew, we loathed and despised the chior. See, the chior members didn't quite understand that if they dragged the piano or risers over the stage floor it would, in fact, scratch the stage floor. They also weren't very good at putting away these things. Well, eventually the crew got fed up with this and decided to get revenge. First, we pulled the entire chior room apart: risers, piano, desks, everything went down into the theater. Then, we took our green room stuff and placed it into the chior room. This may not sound like much, but moving a wall full of lumber and a very large piece of scenery into that room wasn't easy. We actually had to take the stupid prop apart and re-assemble it inside, because it wouldn't fit through the doors. Of course, the chior folks couldn't blame us exactly- it just magically happened one night.

They were careful to at least remove their chior stuff after practicing in the theater after that.

-Elendale
---

When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.


[ Parent ]
My best (4.00 / 2) (#14)
by dennis on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 12:03:56 PM EST

When I was in college, my roommate's parents were coming to visit, arriving at about 6 am. The day before, I bought a Penthouse, cut out all the full-page pictures, applied tape, and laid them in an empty drawer. Then next morning I got up at 5:30, saying I had to study for a test. My roommate went out in the living room so he'd hear the knock if he fell back asleep. I pasted the pictures up all around his bed, and went out the window.

It worked. His mom walked in saying "nice pictures!" while he noticed one after another and frantically ripped them down. Believe it or not, that was fifteen years ago and we're still friends.

Another friend of mine was a physics student, and the practical jokes those guys play are unreal. For example: In a first-floor office with a door that opens inwards, stretch a stout rubber hose between the doorknob and something solid inside. Remove hinges, go out window. When someone turns the knob, the entire door flies into the office.

Ahh, yes... (5.00 / 1) (#23)
by Elendale on Sun Sep 16, 2001 at 09:46:10 PM EST

Physics students (and teachers) can be downright demonic. A physics teacher of mine was lining us up with one of those cool metal electrical ball thingies to show how electricity flowed (actually, it was just a thinly veiled excuse to play with electricity...) and the whole class was lined up hand-to-hand to demonstrate current, or some such thing. In any case, the teacher casually mentioned that the person at the end of the line should touch the electrical outlet she was standing by. Now, a bit of background on this person: She was not a physics student, or rather: she should not have been a physics student- she did well in the class, but because she worked like hell at it. With that in mind, it is obvious the teacher knew she would actually touch the electrical socket.
(insert sounds of swearing and electrical discharge here)
Another thing we did was to (at the end of the school day) break out our electrical fun again and shock random students. We had one person connecting the electricity to the door handle of the classroom (door closed) and then one person on the outside holding the door handle and zapping random students who were unfortunate enough to walk by. That one was priceless :)

-Elendale (ahh, memories...)
---

When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.


[ Parent ]
Danced like a Monkey (5.00 / 3) (#16)
by Lord13 on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 02:52:04 PM EST

No offence, but so far what I've been reading has been pretty tame. I've shared a couple of my better pranks before, but here is a new one:

Back in my days working on a corporate help desk I once manage to so utterly fool all my coworkers that to this day they still don't know what is true and what was a joke. It started with an extremely hot new-hire on the helpdesk. Every male on the desk, including myself, was drooling and every female instantly loathing. Let's call her Amie. I got to know her by helping answering her questions and showing her how to setup AIM so she could chat with the rest of the ubergeeks.

She was an evil prankster much like myself so we got along very well. We started going out to lunch and chatting most of everyday. Well, it didn't take long before the rumors were flying and everyone suspected that we were sleeping together (she had a boyfriend and I was single). Half the guys were constantly asking me if I banged her yet and others were spreading FUD that I was homosexual (Still surprised on that one, they must have decided I was so damn ugly that the only way this chick would talk to me is if I was gay. Either that or they were trying to get me eliminated from the running by a technicality.) Well, neither of us cared but it kept escalating and people were getting more in our faces about it. Nothing was going on (mostly nothing), and that's what we told them, but on it went. We were discussing this when I had a grand idea on how to get them to shut the hell up.

The plan was this: We would both start our day as normal. We would fire up AIM give the appearance that we start chatting just like normal. The difference was that I would act increasingly pissed off. After about an hour of giving the appearance of escalating anger, I slammed both fists on my keyboard and stormed out of the helpdesk room. I had to walk past my partner in prank on the way and I made sure to display a look of utter hate and anger at her. I went outside the building for about 30 minutes while Amie laid down the beginning foundation of the prank.

Everyone had noticed and grabbed the bait we threw out. Everyone began asking Amie what was going on and were we having a fight. This was Amie's most crucial part of the prank and she did it perfectly. All she would tell them is that I'm a seriously sick and disturbed person while at the same time look rather angry herself. She refused to say anything more, which was part of the plan.

When I came back, everyone was ready to bite down on piece of bait Amie gave them. Since she wouldn't say, and it was obvious something was going on, the rumormongers were forced to ask me what was going on. I refused to tell them and continued to throw angry looks at Amie.

The plan was for me to tell one person what had happened after this little build up and then watch the fun. So, on chat, I told one person who REALLY wanted to know what was going on. He was so shocked by what I told him, he did the one thing neither me or Amie would have ever suspected. He didn't tell a soul. He actually tried comforting me with stories of his own extreme humiliation, such as crapping his pants in a packed McDonalds.

Things were not going to plan so I came up with a contingency plan. I told Amie in chat to start pretending we were having a heated discussion on chat. We did this for about 15 mins before I got up and went and asked the first guy I told and another person to join me outside. Both knew something big was up and I told them I would explain it to them outside. I told them the bitch was going to spread it around to everyone anyway, so I might as well tell people myself.

Outside, I began to tell my tale. I told them that the previous evening Amie had come over my place after work. She was going to change clothes before we both went rollarblading.

Before I tell the rest, let me describe to you how I looked. At this point it was so obvious I had them all hook line and sinker I was having a very hard time controlling my laughter. As a result my face was beat red and I had a hard time talking with out choking back some giggles. This worked to my advantage since it was perceived as a "beat red face of embarrassment".

Anyway back to what I told the first two rumormongers. After Amie changed her clothes, I told them that I went into my own room, stripped naked and put a thong on my head. I came out of my room and did a monkey dance on my couch and solicited sex from Amie. She was offended by this and left my apartment. So, I explained, we were arguing this morning because I was asking her to keep quiet about it and she was threatening to tell everyone. So since she is going to tell everyone, I decided to tell my side first.

The looking on that guy's face will be forever priceless. The giant O of astonishment lasted a good 10-seconds before he was laughing uncontrollably for 10 minutes. The other guy with me had heard the story already and was just as astonished as the second guy after hearing me tell the story out loud. I remember he quote "I'm sorry man, I don't mean to laugh. We all do stupid shit to get pussy, but dear God that's funny as hell"

We went back into the office this time it worked as planned. It was only minutes before everyone knew. The whole desk started a chat room up to discuss my monkey antics. Amie was repeated asked to confirm what I had told and she did with fresh details. She mentioned to some that I had such wild pubic hair growth that she didn't see my penis. She told others that I offered her money for sex after she said no the first time. Anything she could think of to raise the ante of the gossip trade.

Well after about two hours and endless jokes at my expense. We let the joke out of the bag. The helpdesk had a couple TV's up to display information about outages. I put a message on it that said "Happy Belated April Fool's from Lord13 and Amie."

Me and Amie had a great fucking laugh. All the rumormongers that kept pestering us had been put to shame. Needless to say the rumor trade about us completely ceased. I did get the nickname "Monkey Boy" which stuck around for a couple years, but I wore it like a badge of honor. I still get the giggles thinking about that prank.

To this day, there are a couple folks that think it was all real. They believe I convinced Amie to say it was a prank so I could save face. I think they didn't want to admit they had been hands down taking for fools.

Growing half a tree, water it everyday.
Carnegie Mellon (none / 0) (#17)
by harryh on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 03:09:54 PM EST

I went to Carnegie Mellon University.

I hacked the sign.

Someone here will probobly know what I'm talking about. :-)

-Ironhead

which sign? (none / 0) (#19)
by jlinwood on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 05:12:35 PM EST

which sign? i went there, but i have no idea what you're talking about :)

[ Parent ]
re: which sign? (none / 0) (#21)
by harryh on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 08:54:27 PM EST

The digital one on the Drama Building.
Installed in early 2000.

My hack was that spring.

-Harry

[ Parent ]
My masterpiece (4.66 / 3) (#18)
by bsox on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 04:50:14 PM EST

After Christmas break one year, a friend of mine hosted a small party in her dorm room. There were about 10 people there, all Dean's list, full scholarship folks from the Honors program at our university.

As everyone was eating snacks and chatting about their holiday, I noticed my friend Mike picking up a remote control and examining it. From his distant corner of the room, he pressed the power button, and everyone else in the room was suprised to hear the radio turn on. Mike and I looked at their shock and befuddlement. Then we looked at each other. We traded a subtle nod, and Mike placed the remote control in his pocket.

"What's the problem?" I asked innocently. The host explained that her radio/cd player was Christmas gift, and she was worried because it had just turned on by itself.

Being the techie of the group, I cracked my knuckles and told everyone to stand back. I made a great show of examining the front and back of the radio, then jiggling the wires to the speakers. Then I announced that there was a short in the radio's faceplate. I demonstrated by tapping the side of radio in a very precise manner. (Of course, Mike chose this moment to hit the power button again from his pocket. To everyone's amazement, the radio turned off!)

Floored by my Fonzi-like ability to turn the radio on and off by tapping it in just the right spot, others started attempting the trick. The quickly became frustrated when it didn't work at all for them. After letting them stew a bit more, I stepped up again and explained: "It's a very sensitive contition. If you tap it too hard, it won't work." I tapped it gently on the same spot as before. The radio "magically" turned on.

I continued: "In fact, I bet it's even sensitive to static electriciy. Let me try something..." I started dragging my feet accross the carpet, telling everyone to stand back. After I'd built enough "static", I waved my hand near the volume knob.

Without missing a beat, my accoplice turned up the volume on the radio. Soon, I was controlling every feature of her audio system with various waves, taps and head twitches.

later, we allowed them to apperently "get the hang of it". They gleefully turned the system on and off, up and down by imitating my hand motions and dragging their feet across the carpet.

Did I mention that all of the people in the room posessed genius-level IQs?

After an hour of this, we ended the charade for two reasons: First, Mike and I could no longer contain our mirth, and second... one of the party was close to tears because all of her preconceptions about reality were falling apart. She was mumbling to herself constantly, and she had a very haunted expression on her face... I thought she was going to kick my ass when she found out the truth!



The Man Behind the Mask (3.00 / 1) (#20)
by Lenny on Wed Sep 12, 2001 at 07:20:42 PM EST

It was late September in Michigan. I was staying the night at a friends house when I was in high school. His house bordered a local park that was used for Disc Golf. It was a large wooded park. The park was in a fairly secluded part of town. At night we would often roam the park in search of mischef. The park was often a hang out for high school students to hang out and drink at night. One night we heard several partiers in the park and thought we should intervene. We knew they were close as we could hear them clearly. My friend's house separated the park by a tree line and a fence. My friend's neighbor had a style that went over the fence. My friend was a big time horror fan and had all kinds of horror movie related memorabilia. His prized possessions were all related to the "Friday the 13th" series. My friend dressed up like Jason. The costume was remarkable. He had every detail set up perfectly. His weapon was a wood-splitting axe. The blade was a half-moon blade that was approx 12 inches in length. Truly a menacing looking weapon. I was dressed as the "victim". I just had ripped jeans and a t-shirt with tennis shoes. My "accessories" were two machetes attached to my belt, but folded inside my pants to hide them. The operation was flawless. The partiers were at a pavillion about 20 yards past the tree line. I came stumbling through the tree line towards the partiers. I purposely fell down a few times and turned back to see my friend "slashing" his way through the tree line in large, deliberate swings of his axe. He strode toward me in a stiff, long steps. I stumbled foreward towards the partiers and saw them stare at us in frozen terror. It lookied like someone hit the pause button on them, mouths open in mid-sentence and drinks half way to their mouths. It was working far better than we had planned. As our show got within about 20 feet of the prankees, my friend and I both stopped and turned our attention toward the partiers. The tensed. My friend strode toward the partiers. I drew my machetes. The ran in cartoon fashion toward the back of the park. It was about 1/4 mile away. I dropped my weapons and pursued them so as to gain the identity of at least one of them. I was in excellent shape, but it didn't matter. They were out-running me with impossible accleration. About 15 seconds after i lost sight of them in the darkness, I heard several loud splashes. The hit the river that bordered the back of the park. The river was about 100 ft across at that location. The outside temperature was about 50 degrees F. The water must have been very cold. By the time my friend caught up to me. we could hear them swimming franticly across the river. We went back to his house and laughed until couldn't laugh any more wothout serious pain. There were no death in the paper due to drowning so we at least didn't kill any of them. We never did find the identity of the prankees.
"Hate the USA? Boycott everything American. Particularly its websites..."
-Me
Best joke lately (1.50 / 2) (#22)
by MrYotsuya on Fri Sep 14, 2001 at 12:29:19 AM EST

The best practical joke lately was one night when two of my friends and I, all fairly large guys, picked up a scrawny male hitchhiker. I let him ride in the passenger seat. A few moments later, I pulled over to a disused road and said: "You got pretty mouth, boy" After that I nearly got killed out of this fellows homosexual panic. BTW, I'm not gay, I just thought it would be funny, and suppose it was after we got it through his thick head that I was just kidding.

What's the best practical joke you've played? | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 editorial, 1 hidden)
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