Kuro5hin.org: technology and culture, from the trenches
create account | help/FAQ | contact | links | search | IRC | site news
[ Everything | Diaries | Technology | Science | Culture | Politics | Media | News | Internet | Op-Ed | Fiction | Meta | MLP ]
We need your support: buy an ad | premium membership

Web Error Message Haiku project.

By Hero Zzyzzx in Culture
Mon Oct 01, 2001 at 02:37:28 PM EST
Tags: Internet (all tags)

4-0-4 boring.
Why are error pages lame?
Too much work to do.

My goal is to build a user reviewed and ranked, downloadable database of web-focused error message haiku. While error message haiku aren't the most original idea, there isn't a good collection of web-focused (eg. for 404 pages) out there.

Salon did this a while ago, and there is a perl module, Coy.pm that makes random error message haiku. I think people can write better ones.

Go to the Web Error Message Haiku Database and make your contribution.

4-0-4 boring.
Why are error pages lame?
Too much work to do.

Who would collect these?
Why would I put haiku up?
Users laugh and stay.

Apache geeks laugh
too, as does the playing dog
in its' drooling way.

Geeks make smart haiku
That might be of use to me.
Where would I find them?

Where to see other
haiku of stunning brilliance,
and maybe add some?

Just remember this:
Web-Centric haiku only,
Plum blossom must focus.

Web Error Message Haiku DB


Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure


Related Links
o Salon
o Coy.pm
o Web Error Message Haiku Database
o Web Error Message Haiku DB
o Also by Hero Zzyzzx

Display: Sort:
Web Error Message Haiku project. | 18 comments (15 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
NetPositive (3.20 / 5) (#2)
by Arkady on Sat Sep 29, 2001 at 02:55:35 PM EST

I don't know if anyone had done it earlier, but the Be web browser, Net+, had a haiku error mode, where it gave its error messages in haiku, many years ago. It's still around; you might want to install BeOS and give it a run. ;-)


Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere Anarchy is loosed upon the world.

Net Positive (none / 0) (#3)
by Hero Zzyzzx on Sat Sep 29, 2001 at 03:02:17 PM EST

Yeah, I saw the list of these a while ago. There was only about 20 of them, and I don't really want to take stuff from a commercial product. . .

[ Parent ]
Why Joke Haiku Suck (4.92 / 13) (#5)
by Simon Kinahan on Sat Sep 29, 2001 at 05:00:07 PM EST

A Call for the Elimination of Joke Haiku Production


If you disagree, post, don't moderate
Internet haiku (4.75 / 8) (#6)
by rusty on Sat Sep 29, 2001 at 06:09:47 PM EST

I read a haiku late at night
And it gave me a horrible fright
Neither clever nor droll
nor yet a good troll
I agree sir, no more of this shite!


Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

Peter Sansom on Haikus (none / 0) (#9)
by itsbruce on Sun Sep 30, 2001 at 09:31:30 AM EST

British poet Peter Sansom on Haikus:

In Chinese, haikus are real poems because, so I'm told, neighbouring words alter each other's meanings, allowing the texts to open in the mind like paper flowers in a tumbler of water. Whereas in English, they tend to be short, up-their-own-arse poems made by grown men in brown cords walking up and down counting. I said as much once, the inspiration as it turned out for this: 'Peter Sansom says/Not to bother with haiku./Well, he can fuck off.'

--I unfortunately do not know how to turn cheese into gold.
[ Parent ]
Except... (none / 0) (#15)
by fluffy grue on Mon Oct 01, 2001 at 10:17:18 PM EST

Haiku are Japanese.
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.
I have a master's degree in science!

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]
[ Parent ]

I know (none / 0) (#18)
by itsbruce on Tue Oct 02, 2001 at 09:29:32 AM EST

But I didn't feel it mattered enough to tamper with the wording. His point is valid. He doesn't speak Japanese either.

--I unfortunately do not know how to turn cheese into gold.
[ Parent ]
Internet haiku II (none / 0) (#13)
by mcherm on Mon Oct 01, 2001 at 03:01:34 PM EST

There once was an internet user
Who, if truth be told, was a looser.
He would write in blank verse
And post poems so terse
That he fancied himself a Haiku-er.

-- Michael Chermside
[ Parent ]
senryu (4.50 / 6) (#7)
by anonymous cowerd on Sat Sep 29, 2001 at 10:58:57 PM EST

Haiku are exclusively nature poems; what you've got are senryu. At least that's the way them fussy poetry types explained it to me.

In rec.arts.poems
Calling senryu haiku
Evokes nasty flames

Yours WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net

The one thing that really disturbs me about America is that people don't like to read. - Keith Richards

umm.. wrong. (none / 0) (#14)
by sakusha on Mon Oct 01, 2001 at 09:36:25 PM EST

Haiku are exclusively nature poems
You are incorrect. There are other subjects appropriate to haiku. For example, here are English translations of a couple of 18th century haiku by Yosa Buson (sorry, they don't translate into perfect English haiku)

At the over-maturing sushi
The Master
Is full of regret.

Pressing sushi.
After a while
A lonely feeling.

And here's one by Soseki, one of Japan's most famous writers:

On New Year's Day
I long to meet my parents
As they were before my birth.

Nope, sorry, you don't know squat about haiku (on the other hand, I do have a degree in Japanese literature). The only requirement for something to be a haiku is that it uses "haigo" which is a Japanese term that literally means "words used in haiku." Traditionally these words evoke the seasons, and are known as "kigo." Those "nature" allusions are mostly references to the seasons, the passage of time, etc. For example, "dragonfly" means autumn.

[ Parent ]
I've always been very partial (3.83 / 6) (#8)
by pwhysall on Sun Sep 30, 2001 at 03:16:04 AM EST

to SGI's 404 pages. Always raises a smile.

I think the haiku thing is a bit overdone now. Creating 404 and other error pages that actually help the user would be a better expenditure of effort.
K5 Editors
I'm going to wager that the story keeps getting dumped because it is a steaming pile of badly formatted fool-meme.

Mine (none / 0) (#10)
by WWWWolf on Sun Sep 30, 2001 at 11:38:17 AM EST

I have recently noticed weird habit of putting famous quotes, poetry and ocassional haiku to web stuff...

Here's a haiku of mine (from Beastwithin.org's 404 page), dated 2001-07-15:

User, following
directions from a stranger -
lost in the darkness
(Don't know of the obligatory nature reference; I guess this is just about the best nature metaphor I could think of on short notice. This poem also gets to the essence of why the user is seeing this message. =)

-- Weyfour WWWWolf, a lupine technomancer from the cold north...

The raven (5.00 / 6) (#12)
by hulver on Mon Oct 01, 2001 at 08:28:06 AM EST

Completly off topic, but it makes me laugh.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pron surfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious pronsite of "Hot XXX galore"
While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning
And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour.
"Tis not possible!" I muttered "give me back my free hardcore!"

Quoth the server,

Gah (none / 0) (#16)
by fluffy grue on Mon Oct 01, 2001 at 10:23:39 PM EST

You're only counting syllables, and you're not even doing that right.
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.
I have a master's degree in science!

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]

404 Research Lab (none / 0) (#17)
by Pseudonym on Tue Oct 02, 2001 at 12:55:35 AM EST

The ultimate resource for this kind of thing is the 404 Research Lab. There is even a 404 Webring which you can join if your 404 page is particularly creative.

sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
Web Error Message Haiku project. | 18 comments (15 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
Display: Sort:


All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. The Rest 2000 - Present Kuro5hin.org Inc.
See our legalese page for copyright policies. Please also read our Privacy Policy.
Kuro5hin.org is powered by Free Software, including Apache, Perl, and Linux, The Scoop Engine that runs this site is freely available, under the terms of the GPL.
Need some help? Email help@kuro5hin.org.
My heart's the long stairs.

Powered by Scoop create account | help/FAQ | mission | links | search | IRC | YOU choose the stories!