Kuro5hin.org: technology and culture, from the trenches
create account | help/FAQ | contact | links | search | IRC | site news
[ Everything | Diaries | Technology | Science | Culture | Politics | Media | News | Internet | Op-Ed | Fiction | Meta | MLP ]
We need your support: buy an ad | premium membership

[P]
Billions and Billions in Servitude

By MisterQueue in Culture
Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 12:55:20 PM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

There is a truth brewing on the horizon; one which you cannot ignore, and it is this: McDonald's encourages Fascist Police-State Regimes.


Look at this image. It contains some of the old cast and crew of the McDonalds bunch. Now, note Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac. Don't they look frighteningly similar here? It is my postulation that they are brothers, and that Mayor McCheese's darker nose here implies the only difference is in the brown-nosing done by governmental officials, whereas Officer Big Mac needs only brute force to do his duties. He's listed as a "peace officer", but I would estimate that is in the same way that "war is peace".

So we have a family in power of both the legislation and enforcement of that legislation; a pseudo Oligarchy if you will, but what of the others? Well, first we have Ronald McDonald himself. He is the named after the fast food chain, and thus we must assume important to this whole fiasco. Well, because he is the central character, we must assume that he has some importance in what they are presenting. Since McDonald's has an image of "feeding the masses" or being the "working man's cheap and fast meal", it is clear that he is the everyman. For reference on how the McDonald's Corporation supports this view of being one of the masses, examine their vision:

We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.

Hence, Ronald represents the proletariat, always clowning and wasting time on silly hopes and desires. Being a clown, one could argue he is doing his job, but that is just how they view the proles they represent; doing merely their job and never reaching beyond.

Now, how does Ronald interact with this structure? Again, the proles in this, for lack of a better term, Donaldian society are basically harmless. Though they sometimes are a nuisance to the governing body, but not so much as they have to be watched all that closely. So, if Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac (the gruesome twosome) aren't so concerned about the proles, who does concern them? Well it's obvious that there are those amongst the rabble that will not be harmless and will go against the will of the governing body. It is these types that Officer Big Mac is there to keep the "Peace" over. Originally, this was represented by both Captain Crook and the Hamburgler, but since it was redundant, and the Donaldian society would look TOO out of control with that much crime amongst the small cast of characters, they have since retired Captain Crook. So is that it then? Is one placed either in a category of Prole or Crook? No, there is another, and that is Grimace.

Grimace is an interesting case. In early Donaldian theory, he was "Evil Grimace", and his specialty was nabbing milkshakes from children. Around the same time that Captain Crook was ousted, "Evil Grimace" became just Grimace. The assumption is that, again, they didn't want their idea of a perfect society to be marred by the fact that Officer Big Mac could be so corrupt as to not have control over that many in such a small community. Grimace, however, was useful to them as a symbol of the other sub-class of their community; the bourgeois. Seemingly fat and happy, the bourgeois are not interested in knowledge or progression in essence; merely the instant gratification of their wants. Grimace is fat on his lust for shakes, or as it were a glutton for the material. These are the people Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac truly try to appease, for as long as they can keep the "shakes" flowing, the bourgeois do not care what else they do.

Times change though, and a corporation (being a separate entity from its owners as it's considered in this country) has to change slightly with it in order to prosper. So we move into more Politically correct times, and it's much harder to feed the masses a Donaldian police state by the time the late 1980's roll around. So they decide to suddenly drop BOTH Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac from the front line-up. Interesting don't you think? Well, this site inquired as to the whereabouts of Mayor McCheese, and I can only assume it holds true for his brother as well. Here is the response they received:

"You may be interested to know that Mayor McCheese is alive and well and still presiding over McDonaldland. You may not see him as often because he stepped aside for awhile so that Ronald McDonald could introduce some of his newer friends ...

Keep your eyes out, though... you never know when he might make another appearance. In the meantime, he sends a big "hello" to you, and hopes to see you back at his favorite restaurant -- McDonald's!"

This situation is sort of eerie if one thinks of it. Suddenly Mayor McCheese is behind the scenes; "still presiding" and yet has "stepped aside". You never know when he might make another appearance? Is he watching from the shadows then? Officer Big Brother and Mayor McLenin indeed. I think this subterfuge has worked though, as a very sad few remember any of the original line-up. They haven't stopped on their need to push forward with their ideals though, as they had one more important introduction.

Boys clubs were decidedly illegal by the early 90's as they were put to a vote by the Supreme Court, and it was pretty obvious that up to that point the representation of a perfect Donaldian society was entirely male dominated. What they needed was some way to introduce a main female character so they could seem innocuous and yet still maintain their image of perfection. Enter Birdie. Birdie is the ultimate in female existence to the prime Donaldian theorist. Birdie has no power or influence over McDonaldland, yet she is the only one who can fly. On the surface, this looks to be an advantage, but in reality it is a metaphor for women not being "grounded" enough in the everyday to affect or control anything in their surroundings. Her head is as vacuous as her influence is, and sadly, this is what a Donaldian society reduces our poor human sisters to.

It is the author's hope that these revelations truly show the connection between McDonald's characters and their continued influence in the world to subvert and spread their societal theory about. Someday, maybe just someday, their characters will take on a more responsible and full role in the surrounding environment so that our children can learn a more meaningful way for a community to exist, but it does not seem likely. Until then, no super-size for me please.

-Q

Sponsors

Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure

Login

Poll
Golden Arches?
o Yes, the Arch of a jackboot! 19%
o Gold like the booty of Captain Crook! 5%
o The Gateway to a New Dawn. 9%
o You think that's bad, wait till you find out about the Monarchy of the Burger King. 26%
o That Wendy needs to go down too! 9%
o Go down on Ronald.. ROWR. 4%
o I prefer Arby's, and I am a sick puppy. 12%
o Inoshiroshima 13%

Votes: 172
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o this
o himself
o We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.
o governing body
o rabble
o Grimace
o this [2]
o Birdie
o Also by MisterQueue


Display: Sort:
Billions and Billions in Servitude | 143 comments (123 topical, 20 editorial, 0 hidden)
notes on Birdie (3.50 / 8) (#1)
by Joh3n on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 04:46:38 PM EST

I must point out that your interpretation of Birdie is indeed far from the truth.  You assert that Birdie has no power or influence over McDonaldland which is so far from the truth, it saddens me.

In fact, Birdie is symbolic of the clandestine, yet ever present, stranglehold over the citizens the Oligarcy in McDonaldland has.  Birdie, if you will, is the 'eye in the sky' keeping ever present surveilance on the population.  Some argue that reveling her existence was a mistake, which I scoff at, as the populace had been long aware that their every move was monitored.

It is a shame that you leave out this crucial point, out of fear perhaps?
---------------------------------
You can learn a lot about someone by popping in their un-rewound pr0n tape and seeing where exactly they came.
-terpy

I don't think you even deserved that 3... (4.00 / 3) (#2)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 04:50:33 PM EST

did you notice that McDonaldland is an island? Did you notice that Birdie never leaves her surroundings, even though she could? She is obviously without concern for any of what is happening to her or others.

But I suspect someone who can't even spell "Oligarchy" properly shouldn't be expected to be well-versed on her.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Oh please (3.66 / 3) (#3)
by Joh3n on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 04:57:15 PM EST

First off, trying to undercut theories using spelling corrections smacks of hackery.  

Second, the island nature of the region means nothing.  Would you say the same about England, hmm?

Third, if you are so blind as to assume that birdie cares nothing of what the populace does, then you have already fallen victim to the brainwash.  Hamburgler got more than a lunch this time, he got your soul
---------------------------------
You can learn a lot about someone by popping in their un-rewound pr0n tape and seeing where exactly they came.
-terpy
[ Parent ]

I see (5.00 / 6) (#5)
by yankeehack on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:00:44 PM EST

Third, if you are so blind as to assume that birdie cares nothing of what the populace does, then you have already fallen victim to the brainwash. Hamburgler got more than a lunch this time, he got your soul

Apparently, Hamburgler also got your punctuation.


No one who was bad in bed has ever been good in life (i.e. liberals, I've never had sex with a liberal woman who knew how to use her body.) Keeteel :-P I'm *right*!
[ Parent ]

Look... (3.50 / 2) (#6)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:00:50 PM EST

I refuse to stoop to your childish "pranky" level. It is clear that could someone fly away from England, if England was in the iron grip of a Donaldian Society, then a clear-minded person would. This is assuming that they had nary a care about the area, so the argument could be made that Birdie is staying for the benefit of one of the others, maybe Grimace, the bourgeois, whom she seems to get along well with.

But the fact of the matter is that she does not interact much nor impact any of the situation they're in whatsoever. The useless goggles strapped to her head are merely one sign of the problem.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

bah (3.50 / 2) (#8)
by Joh3n on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:06:38 PM EST

Childish?  Pranky?  Methinks you've been force fed one too many happy meals sir.

Her lack of interaction betrays birdie as the STASI-esque fiend she is.  And your refusal to see the goggles for what they are just shows me that you are just another puppet, dangling from Ronald's strings.
---------------------------------
You can learn a lot about someone by popping in their un-rewound pr0n tape and seeing where exactly they came.
-terpy
[ Parent ]

It is always that way. (5.00 / 1) (#11)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:14:24 PM EST

And your refusal to see the goggles for what they are just shows me that you are just another puppet, dangling from Ronald's strings.

People who have no basis for their argument, never back it up. People who have no argument, don't even tell you what it is. In this case we see both. What do the goggles represent then, oh deluded one? I'm curious to know, since you seem so smug in pointing out how wrong I am on that matter without any mention as to why.

I bet you think knock-knock jokes are funny too don't you?

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Fine (5.00 / 1) (#19)
by Joh3n on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:25:48 PM EST

Shall we discount the many commercials in which birdie sees a child not eating cheeseburgers and swoops to the 'rescue'?

Shall we ignore how Ronald and birdie keep constant vigil over the citizenry?

Shall we point out that Grimace actually twinges in fear upon birdie's approach?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
the truth
---------------------------------
You can learn a lot about someone by popping in their un-rewound pr0n tape and seeing where exactly they came.
-terpy
[ Parent ]

Heh, you poor deluded fool. (none / 0) (#20)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:34:28 PM EST

So, because she pushes the Donaldian foodsubstance she's NOT blind and vacuous?

So, because she interacts with the proles in their careless thoughtless manner she's NOT blind and vacuous?

So, because the bourgeois don't like (in the Donaldian image of course) "A snipey money-grubbing female" she's NOT blind and vacuous?

Maybe if I consumed more of these burgers you seem so proud of her handing out, I could agree, but frankly, your arguments don't hold frosty pseudo-dairy-based chocolatey drink.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Spelling Corrections (5.00 / 1) (#50)
by Ebon Praetor on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 01:19:50 AM EST

You're right, attacking an argument because of spelling is the wonderfully overused fallacy ad hominem.

At the same time, you detract from your own credibility when you fail to spell or write properly.  Like it or not, people (falsely) judge you and your arguments based off appearance.  In peoples' minds, sloppy writing implies sloppy logic.  With most arguments, it's all about ethos.

I agree with you, but try checking your spelling; it's so much easier than arguing over it.

[ Parent ]

ENGLAND IS NOT AN ISLAND! (5.00 / 1) (#87)
by Craevenwulfe on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 06:26:43 AM EST

GREAT BRITAIN IS!

[ Parent ]
Shhhh (4.83 / 6) (#9)
by imrdkl on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:12:31 PM EST

Have another happy meal.

Don't even get me started (none / 0) (#13)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:17:03 PM EST

on their need to mollify us from the beginning to their fascist ideals.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

They're just around the corner... (5.00 / 1) (#21)
by imrdkl on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:34:43 PM EST

We both know that a happy meal is all you need.

Think of the possibilities... you might get the treasured head to the 5-piece Pocahantes doll this time!

[ Parent ]

I need not your "treasure" (5.00 / 2) (#22)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:35:59 PM EST

you cannot lure me into loving Big Mac through promises of fortune or torture, I alone will fight the battle if I must.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Ok, if that's the way you want it (5.00 / 2) (#25)
by imrdkl on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:47:22 PM EST

No more Playland access for you.

[ Parent ]
Yes we can (n/t) (none / 0) (#89)
by vile on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 06:30:52 AM EST

Resistance is Futile!

~
The money is in the treatment, not the cure.
[ Parent ]
Out of all of the comments (n/t) (5.00 / 1) (#88)
by vile on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 06:28:37 AM EST

This is by far my favorite within this thread! Perfect. Perfect.

~
The money is in the treatment, not the cure.
[ Parent ]
yeah yeah (3.66 / 3) (#14)
by /dev/trash on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:17:12 PM EST

And The Smurfs are the cartoon manifestation of the US versus the Soviet Union.

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
Somebody missed the banana (none / 0) (#15)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:18:20 PM EST

methinks that someone is you.. here.. have a chill pill.. it's on me :)

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

images (none / 0) (#18)
by /dev/trash on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:25:28 PM EST

I have no banana!  I knew it was humour.

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
[ Parent ]
We have no bananas! (none / 0) (#73)
by pin0cchio on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 05:51:17 PM EST

I have no banana!

Which brings up a completely unrelated topic: If, when writing a song, you create a melody similar to that of an existing copyrighted musical work, even by coincidence, a music publisher with billions of dollars in the bank may take legal action against you. This happened in the "Yes! We have no bananas!" case. If you have no money with which to hire legal counsel to defend you against an allegation of copyright infringement, you're in big trouble.

So how can I publish songs without being sued?


lj65
[ Parent ]
who knows (none / 0) (#77)
by /dev/trash on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 07:57:38 PM EST

Everything2.com is usually full of half truths anyway.

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
[ Parent ]
But they are! (5.00 / 2) (#84)
by it certainly is on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 03:07:18 AM EST

The Smurfs all have individual qualities, but they can only succeed when they work together, towards a common goal. Papa Smurf, the literal father figure, wears a red hat, clearly a Communist Party member. The Smurfs' shared enemy is the wizard, Gargamel, clearly a symbol of Capitalism, with his outright greed, especially for the Smurfs and their land. The ensuing conflict is representative of the good fight of Belgians (and other communists) against the sickeningly borgeouis capitalist pig-dog that is the USA.

kur0shin.org -- it certainly is

Godwin's law [...] is impossible to violate except with an infinitely long thread that doesn't mention nazis.
[ Parent ]

Look at the characters (5.00 / 2) (#101)
by JahToasted on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 12:27:58 PM EST

Papa smurf: Although all of the other smurfs dress in the same white clothes, Papa smurf dresses in red, the colour of communism. All the other smurfs follow their benevolent leader without question, with the possible exception of Brainy Smurf (see below). Has a white beard similar to Lenin, or possibly Marx.

Brainy smurf: wears glasses, always has ideas on how things could be run better, and is expelled from the village for these ideas. Obviously Leon Trotsky.

Baby smurf: No one never acknowledges that baby smurf has parents, instead is raised by the community.

Handy and Hefty smurfs: the two most celebrated smurfs, the worker and the soldier.

Azrael (Gargamel's cat): Obviously the borgeouis middle class, blindly following the upper class (Gargamel).

Gargamel: The upper class seeking to exploit the proletariat smurfs by turning them to gold.


______
"I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames" -- Jim Morrison
[ Parent ]

What's the over/under... (4.00 / 3) (#16)
by leviramsey on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:18:51 PM EST

...on how soon greenrd posts on how McDonalds is uber-evil?

I think he should just chill out and have a Double Quarter Pounder... ;o)



a double... (5.00 / 3) (#17)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:20:01 PM EST

for double-plus ungood maybe! You're one of them aren't you!

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Evil Grimace you say? (4.60 / 5) (#23)
by VoxLobster on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:41:13 PM EST

I know what I'm dressing up as next Hallowe`en

VoxLobster
I was raised by a cup of coffee! -- Homsar

Info on Evil Grimace - with pictures! (none / 0) (#95)
by jmzero on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 10:55:35 AM EST

Here...
.
"Let's not stir that bag of worms." - my lovely wife
[ Parent ]
The company slogan (4.90 / 10) (#27)
by fluffy grue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 05:57:32 PM EST

We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.
This takes on a more sinister meaning when you reverse the connotations of "serve." They're serving people to hamburgers!

Which also fits in with the whole "Mayor McCheese" thing. They all serve McCheese.
--
"Is a sentence fragment" is a sentence fragment.
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]

And the title of my tale becomes clear (none / 0) (#28)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:01:49 PM EST

I wonder if Officer Big Mac's appetite is bigger, hence the extra patties in his face?

Come to think of it, the phrase Patty's in his face takes on an even darker meaning when I think of charlie brown, but I'll write about his Socialist dogma a whoooole other day.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

its an irish stereotype (4.66 / 3) (#32)
by Work on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:32:43 PM EST

Patties, officer patties?! Oh yeah, lets keep perpetuating the whole irish stereotype that is patty o'hamburger.

Why, if my name wasnt patty o'furniture, id be downright angry.

[ Parent ]

That's okay (4.00 / 1) (#33)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:34:19 PM EST

my name is Pat McGroin.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

So, your true colors show (none / 0) (#37)
by Work on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:37:20 PM EST

Nobody would have the name Mc, unless they were related to McDonald.

[ Parent ]
I believe (none / 0) (#106)
by StackyMcRacky on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 03:13:51 PM EST

you are greatly mistaken.



[ Parent ]
Oh no. (none / 0) (#110)
by Work on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 05:42:32 PM EST

Don't you question me, McConspirator.

[ Parent ]
*question*question*question* (none / 0) (#122)
by StackyMcRacky on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 09:14:22 AM EST

hey, my McRoots have been around much longer than the Evil Empire's!



[ Parent ]
go ahead (none / 0) (#70)
by uniball vision micro on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 04:01:41 PM EST

"Come to think of it, the phrase Patty's in his face takes on an even darker meaning when I think of charlie brown, but I'll write about his Socialist dogma a whoooole other day."

Oh please now. I have little on my plate now.
"So far as the record goes, no lover of drinking has yet gone out into the night and shot himself as a gesture of protest" Gilbert Seldes, The Future of Drinking 1930
[ Parent ]

"To serve man" (5.00 / 3) (#42)
by dorsai on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 07:26:57 PM EST

It's a cookbook !

I think I saw that in a twilight zone episode...


Dorsai the sigless


[ Parent ]
Yes. (none / 0) (#54)
by terpy on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 02:06:11 AM EST

One of my favorites.

---
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, Kissinger is still a Cockmaster --Psycho Les
[ Parent ]

Short Story (none / 0) (#62)
by wiredog on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 12:36:16 PM EST

Damon Knight? Not sure.

The greatest contribution of the internet to society is that it makes it possible for anyone of any age to become a grumpy old fart.
Parent ]
Morlocks? (5.00 / 1) (#74)
by pin0cchio on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 06:06:14 PM EST

"To serve man" It's a cookbook !

I'd bet the Morlocks of H. G. Wells's The Time Machine, who raise Eloi (the more direct descendants of humanity) as fatted cattle, have all sorts of cookbooks on how to cook Eloi meat and serve it.

Scary part: The president of Indiana State Trappers Association is Tom Morelock. This is how things start, with people trapping animals, then moving up to trapping people.


lj65
[ Parent ]
My favorite characters (4.33 / 6) (#30)
by Work on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:10:14 PM EST

Has to be the Hammurderer

Followed closely by the Grapist, a purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children.

I think the Grapist worked at my school... (none / 0) (#31)
by MisterQueue on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:13:18 PM EST

at least he sounds like this guy who did.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

"biases of the intellectual classes" (4.00 / 1) (#39)
by sye on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 06:48:46 PM EST

Your talk is cheaper than a Mac. And so is this one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
commentary - For a better sye@K5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ripple me ~~> ~allthingsgo: gateway to Garden of Perfect Brightess in CNY/BTC/LTC/DRK
rubbing u ~~> ~procrasti: getaway to HE'LL
Hey! at least he was in a stable relationship. - procrasti
enter K5 via Blastar.in

That article is wrong. (3.00 / 1) (#123)
by Fon2d2 on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 11:25:31 AM EST

It attributes the great wealth experienced by this society to capitalism, when it should correctly credit oil. Only oil with its huge energy density, which provides the equivalent of 58 slaves to the average Western individual, has been able to offload the burden of physical labor required to build and maintain our very large and complex industrial society.

[ Parent ]
yes, of course, oil is one major commodity (none / 0) (#143)
by sye on Tue Dec 31, 2002 at 10:15:26 AM EST

in the capitalist global market. So is the natural gas, nuclear weapons and many others. As long as the capitalists rule this world, destructive force is always negotiable in the market, not by the whims of any individual dictatorships. Civilization has a better chance to survive. So we believed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
commentary - For a better sye@K5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ripple me ~~> ~allthingsgo: gateway to Garden of Perfect Brightess in CNY/BTC/LTC/DRK
rubbing u ~~> ~procrasti: getaway to HE'LL
Hey! at least he was in a stable relationship. - procrasti
enter K5 via Blastar.in
[ Parent ]

The evil virus that will destroy us all (4.50 / 2) (#41)
by jaymz168 on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 07:19:11 PM EST

Nothing can kill the Grimace!

Clerks (none / 0) (#56)
by Lai Lai Boy on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 02:40:56 AM EST

God Bless Clerks. "Will this administration do anything about the Hamburgler's crime wave?"

[Posted from Mozilla Firebird]
[ Parent ]

You realize... (4.91 / 12) (#44)
by blixco on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 07:36:13 PM EST

....as noted below in my editorial comment, that your article here will be responsible for the end of the US world.

There are some terrible secrets that should remain terrible secrets: the coup that got us our bush, the sinister secret of mcdonalds, and the terrible secret of my garage.

I will tell you this, MisterQueue: who will feed the children when the McDonalds of the world go up in flames? Who will employ the high school kids, the unemployable masses? Who will we turn to when we wish for nothing more than the comforting smell of artificial food?

Damn you Queue. Damn you to the depths of hell!

But I still love you. You bastard.
-------------------------------------------
don't panic

Starbucks (5.00 / 2) (#61)
by wiredog on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 12:35:36 PM EST

The Vileness From Seattle is poised to take the position soon to be vacated by the purveyors of ground up cattle.

The greatest contribution of the internet to society is that it makes it possible for anyone of any age to become a grumpy old fart.
Parent ]
Ahhhhh yes. (5.00 / 1) (#65)
by blixco on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 01:27:45 PM EST

Those fuckers. I ran into a cadre of elite Starbucks commandos in the depths of east Austin last night. They had night vision goggles that matched the brushed titanium watches and insulated coffee cups. I found out that they don't drink coffee, they drink tea.

They were talking about taking over a small coffee shop on Manor Rd., converting it into an ironic location for Starbucks. They had latte grenades. They were elite.

I ran them down with my Starbuck's Edition Ford Focus. You know, the dark green model with the built-in milk frother? That one. I ran them down in the cold alley, but they had time to radio in their location and marketing statistics; I fear I have not even put a dent in the flow of suited neo-hipsters bound for that location.

I may have lost the battle, but the war was lost long, long ago.
-------------------------------------------
don't panic
[ Parent ]

Hey (n/t) (5.00 / 1) (#86)
by vile on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 06:20:27 AM EST

I resent that.

~
The money is in the treatment, not the cure.
[ Parent ]
To summarize your thesis (4.42 / 7) (#46)
by Jonathan Walther on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 08:34:55 PM EST


  • Birdie, the only female, is meant to represent women everywhere as being flighty and feather-brained.

  • Ronald McDonald, the Everyman, represents the view of the ruling class that the proletarians are just clowns, who can be laughed at and dismissed.

  • Grimace is meant to represent the intellectual class; being powerless and marginalized, they are continually begging for food.  Their sour expression comes from their educated awareness of their disenfranchisment.

Apart from that, your analysis looks good and I agree with it :-)  Where can I find out about Captain Crook, Hamburger Junction, and the island?

(Luke '22:36 '19:13) => ("Sell your coat and buy a gun." . "Occupy until I come.")


Analysis of Hamburglar (4.33 / 3) (#59)
by Jonathan Walther on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 07:13:43 AM EST

The black and white striped costume of the Hamburglar goes hand in hand with the way he is invariably caught with the help of the proletariat.  Why does he wear black and white?  Because that is the prison costume.  The message this gives to kids is, "fuck with the system and you WILL go to jail" and "the proles will snitch on you, so don't trust them".  Hamburglar is a mixture of consequence and crime.  The fascist system always gets their mark.  And imprisons him.

(Luke '22:36 '19:13) => ("Sell your coat and buy a gun." . "Occupy until I come.")


[ Parent ]
The character that failed... (none / 0) (#96)
by Ken Arromdee on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 11:01:15 AM EST

From the Onion, of course.

[ Parent ]
What's in the background? (4.92 / 13) (#47)
by IHCOYC on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 08:39:32 PM EST

To me, the most striking thing about these images are the pictures they have put in the background.

Mayor McCheese has spinning wheels and steam locomotives, images of nineteenth century technology. Hamburglar apparently daydreams of rock stars and women in décolletage; fair enough.

But what the hell is going on behind Officer Big Mac? Human skeletons, disembodied brains, various detached body parts, and some kind of twisted biology experiment? What is the meaning of these symbols? Slightly less sinister, but almost as odd, is Grimace's apparent association with dinosaur bones and coelacanths.

I think we had ought to check McDonalds hamburgers for their lysine content. . .

Choke the last Santa with the guts of the last reindeer!

Clevland (none / 0) (#92)
by doconnor2 on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 08:42:51 AM EST

According to the website they are different places you can visit in Clevland in 1974. I don't know what that says for Clevland.



[ Parent ]
"Mistake on the Lake" (none / 0) (#125)
by MicroBerto on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 01:03:03 PM EST

I'm from Cleveland, and although I wasn't alive in the 70s, from what I hear, it sure was a hellhole back then. It has gotten much better, hwoever.

Anyway, it got the national rep of "Mistake on the Lake" after the Cuyahoga River caught on fire -- Now let me tell you... I'm no ecological engineer or anything, but when a FLOWING BODY OF WATER is flammable... it's pretty damned filthy!

Berto
- GAIM: MicroBerto
Bertoline - My comic strip
[ Parent ]

Rivers of Flame. . . (none / 0) (#131)
by IHCOYC on Wed Dec 18, 2002 at 12:42:01 PM EST

. . . No doubt the Cuyahoga caught fire as a result of the sinister experiments that were being performed back then by the McDonalds corporation.

I was born in Cleveland, somewhat before the Seventies, which probably explains something. Some of my earliest memories are of the stench of great alewife die-offs. I grew up believing that the planet was doomed to become uninhabitable.

Still, you have to wonder about the city that apparently markets its morgue as a tourist attraction.
--
"Complecti antecessores tuos in spelæis stygiis Tartari appara," eructavit miles primus.
"Vix dum basiavisti vicarium velocem Mortis," rediit Grignr.
--- Livy
[ Parent ]

Who let you out with the semiotics textbook? (4.40 / 10) (#48)
by bigbtommy on Sat Dec 14, 2002 at 09:07:38 PM EST

If you want to complete this essay, make sure you add the following:
  • Constant references to semiotics, ontology and epistomology.
  • The use of the word 'zeitgeist' or 'postmodern' in every paragraph or so.
  • Witter on about underlying metaphors and anthropology for a few paragraphs.
  • Dialetics.
  • Contextualisation.
  • Deconstructivists.
  • "Neocultural".

Still, you haven't turned in to a screaming feminist yet, so you can't get the full title of "pseudo-intellectual master" yet, you young metaphorical rapscallion.
-- bbCity.co.uk - When I see kids, I speed up
hee (none / 0) (#60)
by Perianwyr on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 12:21:31 PM EST

That stuff tears the funny/serious distinction right down to the ground. Shame that the folks interpreting it as such don't have that distinction down... or, for that matter, the folks writing it...

[ Parent ]
yes... (none / 0) (#64)
by MisterQueue on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 01:09:16 PM EST

shame on me..

Believe me.. I'd feel guilty, if I had a conscience.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Shame (none / 0) (#130)
by Perianwyr on Wed Dec 18, 2002 at 11:53:28 AM EST

Guilt is the flesh trying to bring down the Godhead within. Or something like that.

[ Parent ]
"Post" something or other (none / 0) (#63)
by Pikachu with an Axe in his Head on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 12:59:04 PM EST

Post-structuralist? Post-capitalist? Something.

[ Parent ]
Post-Post (none / 0) (#100)
by BCoates on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 12:22:05 PM EST

There is thought after grape-nuts, but in what way is it different?

--
Benjamin Coates


[ Parent ]

Already been through this (none / 0) (#104)
by Pikachu with an Axe in his Head on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 01:51:12 PM EST

"Post to the infinity!"

"Post to the one more than whatever you say!"


[ Parent ]

As To Postmodernism... (none / 0) (#103)
by jubilation on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 01:31:53 PM EST

Slightly offtopic, but okay.

I have a problem with the postmodernists and their ilk:

--  What are we supposed to call the movement *after* that?  They're already the day after tomorrow.

--  Anyway, who decided that we were advanced enough to call ourseles "modernists"?  Who appointed them the baseline?

--  And what's up with the pre-Raphaelites?  How did they know?


[ Parent ]

It's all crap (none / 0) (#107)
by bigbtommy on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 03:54:26 PM EST

I can't take anyone seriously who uses the "post-" prefix these days. Especially those who start a sentence by writing "In this post-9/11 world...". I feel like grabbing the little wretch and shaking his literary bones and shouting at him "So what!? Do we care that it is no longer September the 11th? Post-9/11 is 9/12. Then 9/13. It's called the progression of days you inbred twatspanner. Now get that rat out of your ass, buy yourself a calendar, familiarise yourself with the use of it and write a proper article you mentally incohate bumferret!"

And to think, I'll be going to the birthplace of 'the critical theory of feminist postmodernist semiotic structuralism', yes, art...college... come next October.

I can forsee it in my mind. Criticism lesson comes around. I stand up to talk about my piece... "Hello kids. This is a photograph. Of a person. I took it because it's a nice picture. There is no hidden message in this picture. And I'm not here to have my psyche analysed, I'm here to improve my photography. There is no fucking symbolism or semiotics in this, so don't pull out a half-assed pseudo-intellectual analysis, just tell me what you think of my photograph and maybe a few constructive comments on how to improve it." Then I'll proceed to brutally murder anyone who gives me an answer involving anthropology or semiotics.
-- bbCity.co.uk - When I see kids, I speed up
[ Parent ]

Hrm... (none / 0) (#108)
by MisterQueue on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 04:35:09 PM EST

sounds like you have a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to me.

Just curious, do you freak out anytime you have to push the little button to comment here? You seem very uptight to me.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

Post? (5.00 / 1) (#109)
by theantix on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 04:52:30 PM EST

Post?

From the looks of your post, it sounds like you have a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  At least that is the way I read it judging from you posting.

Just curious, do you freak out post-haste anytime you have to push the little button to post here?  Your post makes you sound very uptight to me, perhaps even post-uptight.

PostScript:  Posting with a negative attitude can cause others to read your post with a harsh judgement, and might even post negative responses.  Just a tip: write "In this post-9/11 world, think twice before I post" on a post-it note and staple it to your forehead.

God, I hope people like you don't work at the Post OFfice, people like that are liable to go postal.  I recommend eating more cereal -- I hear Bran Flakes will help you more regular -- that might help you to post with less attitude.

I hope my post has helped you recognize the errors of your original post.  If you'd like, perhaps you could re-post it so that we can get a better idea of what a less-negative poster might post if that poster was you.  Or not, post whater you want.

"Hilter was evil, but he meant the best for the German people." -- US President George W. Bush
[ Parent ]

Aww (1.00 / 1) (#111)
by bigbtommy on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 06:08:18 PM EST

It seems the K5 moral/emotional support network is out in full force today! Thanks guys. What next? Shall I start posting lists of missing persons and "Ask K5's" on your favourite type of processed cheese product?

Or shall I just post a "blog" (yuck) / diary entry containing a copy of my Amazon.com Wish List, a list of my recently adopted Neopets and a detailed description of what my last sandwich was like, or when I last had a poo.

It's EGO day today kids, so clean out your egos and upload them now! click here for more information
-- bbCity.co.uk - When I see kids, I speed up
[ Parent ]

And the struggle for power is represented by.... (4.83 / 6) (#55)
by Elkor on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 02:17:27 AM EST

The constant competition between Ronald and his primary competitor. A Monarchy that tries to lure away citizens of McDonaldland to their own kingdom. Promises of royalty for all turn out to be nothing more than cheap imagery (paper crowns) meant to foster an elitist belief undermining the complacent teachings of McDonald.

This struggle could further represent the two party system of government present in the US. Neither party really cares about its constituents. They merely come up with further ways to syphon money to further their own objectives.

While not explicitly targeted in either organizations campaigning (about the only dissimilarity with "real" politics) it is obvious that these two giants are locked in a fierce struggle for the minds and souls of the consumers of the world.

The solution? A freckle faced maiden who is the totem of a loving father. Whose only desire is to be the father for all the world and make sure they get good food at an affordable price so they won't have to live at home.

Regards,
Elkor


"I won't tell you how to love God if you don't tell me how to love myself."
-Margo Eve
So... (none / 0) (#138)
by Erbo on Thu Dec 19, 2002 at 02:32:50 PM EST

Where does Carl's Jr./Hardee's fit in? (The star icon...neo-Communist throwback? Religious overtones?)

Or Jack In The Box? (Some sort of highly paternalistic organization, based around the leadership of a single strong man with a clown head?)

Or In'N'Out Burgers, or Good Times Burgers & Frozen Custard? (Localized, regional cults, probably. Though it is telling that Good Times has a "Director of Global Expansion." Are they perhaps somehow related to Scientology?)

Clearly, further work is required to extend this analysis.
--
Electric Minds - virtual community since 1996. http://www.electricminds.org
[ Parent ]

The original McDonalds gang (3.00 / 5) (#58)
by Trollificus on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 07:01:01 AM EST

I've heard the only thing Hamburgler craves these days is cock.

And don't you think Ronald shows a little TOO much affection toward little children?

"The separation of church and state is a fiction. The nation is the kingdom of God, period."
--Bishop Harold Calvin Ray of West Palm Beach, FL

Amusing Article; Here is Additional Info (4.80 / 5) (#66)
by jck2000 on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 01:49:25 PM EST

1. Check this out: H.R. Pufnstuf Connection

2. What were the mop-topped little creatures who like fries called? Embarassingly enough, I believe I tried to make one as a child circa 1974 (the most embarassing year in history) out of yarn, a styrofoam hemisphere, some pipecleaners and paper.

3. The global consistency of McDonald's is amazing: in both the U.S. and Europe, within 45 minutes of ingesting their food, I must rush to the bathroom.

4. When the commercials involving McDonald's hiring retarded people came out, I often told my co-workers that we too were going to be similarly replaced.

5. The Michael Jackson/Ronald McDonald connection needs to be further explored.

6. The one McDonald's action that impressed me most was that they incorporated street slang for their company -- Mickey D's -- into official advertising.

The Fryguys (none / 0) (#71)
by blach on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 04:35:24 PM EST

They were "The Fryguys," IIRC.  I don't remember much else about them. I was born in 1980 and only vaguely remember Mayor McCheese!  The rest of the lineup, though, I remember well, and have recently wondered what ever happened to the Hamburgler and Officer Big Mac.  Too politically incorrect?  

Or it could be that I don't watch television at 7:00 on saturday mornings....

James


[ Parent ]

Rotten Ronnie's (none / 0) (#99)
by JahToasted on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 12:00:34 PM EST

The one McDonald's action that impressed me most was that they incorporated street slang for their company -- Mickey D's -- into official advertising.

Round here people call it Rotten Ronnie's. I wonder when they're gonna start using that in the ads.
______
"I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames" -- Jim Morrison
[ Parent ]

Mickey D's (none / 0) (#133)
by Alannon on Wed Dec 18, 2002 at 05:12:55 PM EST

Speaking of that particular slang, I was recently surprised by a CNN financial report discussing McDonalds where not less than 6 times, the 'reporter' referred to the company as "Mickey D's".

[ Parent ]
Roun' here... (none / 0) (#136)
by sawilson on Thu Dec 19, 2002 at 12:49:12 AM EST

We call it "Dick Monalds".


Sig:(This is your diatribe full of your titles
and lame beliefs and causes so men are impressed
with you and women want to bear your childr
[ Parent ]
You missed something (4.00 / 1) (#67)
by LilDebbie on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 02:42:03 PM EST

Ronald McDonald, indeed symbolizing the everyman, also serves another purpose. Through his constant, helpful nature, providing food and fun for the children of the world, he is revealed as the respectful, generous slave. By encouraging the lower classes through Ronald's example, we have a large body of people willing to volunteer in order to help their fellow slaves. By focusing the People on trying to help out each other, the true rulers of the world keep them from helping themselves. Upward class mobility is held down by the guilt provided by those who remain poor.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

Too Much Credit (4.50 / 2) (#68)
by virtualjay222 on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 03:07:59 PM EST

A very interesting premise - however, why would a tremendous conglomerate whose very livelihood is based upon the current system of capitalism (of which it has always been a symbol, since its appearance in the USSR came at the same time as the decay of the communist structure there) look to promote a social theory in contrast to this? While the connections made are astute, it is comparable to saying that Nike is promoting an elitist society consisting of only the best of athletes. You are overestimating the intelligence and ability of simple businessmen who were lucky enough to devise a winning scheme at the right time.

---

I'm not in denial, I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept.

-Calvin and Hobbes


What if... (none / 0) (#76)
by skyknight on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 06:46:35 PM EST

it were state mandated that everyone was to eat at McDonalds? They would perhaps trade in capitalism for facism, if it meant a government enforced monopoly.

It's not much fun at the top. I envy the common people, their hearty meals and Bruce Springsteen and voting. --SIGNOR SPAGHETTI
[ Parent ]
If That Were the Case... (none / 0) (#78)
by virtualjay222 on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 08:13:06 PM EST

The flaw here is that, as the beneficiary of such a monopoly, I doubt they would seek reform of any kind.

---

I'm not in denial, I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept.

-Calvin and Hobbes


[ Parent ]

Interesting (none / 0) (#85)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 03:15:33 AM EST

I thinks it's very interesting that people now troll as people who are easily trolled. This has to be the ultimate progression of trolling.

What else is there, Trolling as a troll? Trolling as the kind of troll that gets angry and is therefore easily trolled? Trolling at the guy who says "Nice Troll (nt)?" Actually...

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]

Why's this under Culture? (3.50 / 2) (#75)
by exceed on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 06:25:06 PM EST

When it was in the queue it was under the "Humour" topic... that's why I voted for it.

I was in no way taking this article seriously :D

void women (float money, time_t time);
Because... (5.00 / 1) (#90)
by Cameleon on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 06:51:29 AM EST

Because there is no humour section, only a topic. And, lo and behold, this story's topic is humour!

[ Parent ]
The Parking Lot is Full (4.50 / 2) (#79)
by it certainly is on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 08:29:17 PM EST

likes McDonalds:

kur0shin.org -- it certainly is

Godwin's law [...] is impossible to violate except with an infinitely long thread that doesn't mention nazis.

While trying to retrieve the URL (none / 0) (#141)
by vectro on Sun Dec 29, 2002 at 04:36:38 PM EST

While trying to retrieve the URL: http://www.liquigel.net/kur0shin/

The following error was encountered:

Unable to determine IP address from host name for www.liquigel.net
The dnsserver returned:
No DNS records


“The problem with that definition is just that it's bullshit.” -- localroger
[ Parent ]
Missed the most important problem with McDonald La (3.00 / 1) (#80)
by fsk on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 10:09:34 PM EST

Grimace used to have six hands, and in each hand he held a shake. What happed to the four missing hands? Were the removed as part of his "rehabilitation"?

-----
When punk rock is outlawed, only outlaws will have punk rock.

Did anyone else notice... (3.00 / 1) (#81)
by Mox on Sun Dec 15, 2002 at 11:00:21 PM EST

That hamburglar looks rather stoned in his picture? Not to mention the groovy rebellious thoughts going on in his heathen mind, I mean, rock music and loose women? c'mon! Also note the drooping hat (a classic cartoon sign of intoxication) and the dark sunglasses to hide his bloodshot red eyes. It's obvious that the hamburglar's marijuana habit drives him uncontrollably to crime, and what better to steal than greasy hamburgers to quench his insatiable appetite for junk food?

Also note: unfortunately due to the low image quality we cannot see that his pants are encrusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. (not to mention this would do little to help McD's image as your friendly neighborhood gut-stuffing establishment.)

i saw that (none / 0) (#82)
by Work on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 01:15:12 AM EST

the connotations are interesting.

But what the hell is happening behind the officer? Thats some wacky looking shit.

[ Parent ]

i saw that (none / 0) (#83)
by Work on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 01:15:15 AM EST

the connotations are interesting.

But what the hell is happening behind the officer? Thats some wacky looking shit.

[ Parent ]

comment+nitpick (none / 0) (#102)
by Josh A on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 01:00:46 PM EST

So McDonald's has cast freedom--of expression, of sexuality, over our bodies--as criminal. This isn't necessarily a conscious act motivated by conspiracy as much as proof that mainstream institutions will reflect mainstream ideas about what they feel threatened by.

My nitpick: that's not dark sunglasses, that's his burglar's mask. He does look stoned, though. ;)

---
Thank God for Canada, if only because they annoy the Republicans so much. – Blarney


[ Parent ]
It's just marketing (none / 0) (#91)
by vile on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 07:14:32 AM EST

Personally, I believe that McDonalds promotes as many types of human desire as possible. Well, even marketing rules says that they would have to in order to be as successful as they are.

But, even to the extent of cannabalism? I mean come on people, characters with heads of burgers? What are they saying here?

~
The money is in the treatment, not the cure.
Grimace, Trump and the Illuminati (4.50 / 2) (#93)
by belldandi on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 09:55:55 AM EST

Ever since my husband first saw the new commercials with Grimace, he just keeps saying it's the Illuminati. I haven't yet heard how they are related, but he seems very adamant about there being some sort of relationship.

-Tammie

Every time I hear an OO purist talk, I want to pick up my bat object, come to their house object, and start bashing their skull object. -- hardburn
You forgot the Fry-Guys! (none / 0) (#94)
by krek on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 10:00:36 AM EST

Auntie.

pah... (5.00 / 2) (#97)
by MisterQueue on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 11:02:32 AM EST

I also left out the McNuggets, but really, there is a point where the reader must assume his audience understands and are sensible enough to come to their own conclusion. I am not a fan of authors handing everything to you on a plate.

However, I'd rather not make a meal of the issues, and as such will be bowing out of this argument.

-Q

-------
"Curse you and your memory.
A POX!" -joh3n
[ Parent ]

I can't help it... (1.20 / 5) (#98)
by lb008d on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 11:57:24 AM EST

IN SOVIET RUSSIA...

you serve McDonalds!

"Kuro5hin: politics and pretension, from the $3,000 leather recliners on the hill overlooking the trenches."DarkZero

Time to reboot the conspiracy (none / 0) (#105)
by mveloso on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 02:11:36 PM EST

Looks like we've been found out. Must now move to Plan B. Start guava bean production immediately.

Was voting on this story (3.00 / 2) (#112)
by stpna5 on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 11:50:09 PM EST

restricted to the sixth or seventh graders?...it's hard to tell which.

I love you! (none / 0) (#113)
by MisterQueue on Mon Dec 16, 2002 at 11:59:48 PM EST

I paint real good now. Mom says she put picture on the fridge! YAY!

-Q

-------
"I inspired someone to blather nonsense!" -theantix
[ Parent ]

Hey! (5.00 / 1) (#114)
by terpy on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 12:03:17 AM EST

Where's your helmet!? You know you're not supposed to leave the chair without it!

---
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, Kissinger is still a Cockmaster --Psycho Les
[ Parent ]

well (none / 0) (#137)
by Work on Thu Dec 19, 2002 at 01:08:07 AM EST

this sixth grader got tired of the fourth grader political 'commentary'/rehash that goes around here.

[ Parent ]
How on Earth (3.00 / 6) (#115)
by dcodea on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 12:24:49 AM EST

did this get to the front page? No, honestly? This is a terrible high-school English paper, never mind suitable front page material. Even if you liked it, does it need to be the frist thing someone sees when they come here? Jeez, k5 continues it's slide into whatever-the-opposite-of-what-it-used-to-be-is.

Who Dares Wins

I agree... (5.00 / 2) (#116)
by MisterQueue on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 12:30:55 AM EST

no honestly.. this one story sectioned under humor will certainly ruin us all. A pox on those who wrote or participated in this base nonsense!

-Q

-------
"I inspired someone to blather nonsense!" -theantix
[ Parent ]

This story is not sectioned under humor. (none / 0) (#142)
by vectro on Sun Dec 29, 2002 at 04:52:19 PM EST

It is sectioned under Culture. Its topic is humor, however.

“The problem with that definition is just that it's bullshit.” -- localroger
[ Parent ]
Yes. (none / 0) (#124)
by Work on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 11:59:38 AM EST

I would much rather read the bi-hourly rehash of why bush sucks/is evil/smells like poop.

Can't get enough of those mindless shi- i mean political stories.

[ Parent ]

I agree (5.00 / 1) (#132)
by aonifer on Wed Dec 18, 2002 at 03:37:58 PM EST

I think your post should be the "frist" thing someone sees when they come here.

[ Parent ]
of course... (none / 0) (#139)
by El Hober on Thu Dec 19, 2002 at 10:21:08 PM EST

...you know exactly what should be put on the front page

this is a democracy you fuck
---
"Painting is an infinitely minute part of my personality."
-Salvadore Dali
[ Parent ]

hahah (3.00 / 2) (#117)
by rev ine on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 01:39:58 AM EST

I have NO idea what this article is about. +1 FP!!!!!!!!111

Officer Big Mac's white shoelaces (4.00 / 2) (#118)
by buglord on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 04:16:45 AM EST

I couldn't help but noticing Officer Big Mac's white shoelaces on black boots. They are a pervasive symbol of right-wing extremists in Germany. Possibly in America, too, I don't know.

And WTF exactly do the brain, eye, mouth and ear symbol mean? Fucking eerie! Please, somebody explain the connection between these symbols and the executive branch to me.

I'm happy so much now I know how to use a gun!
Die Technik bereit und stabil... wir wollen zurück ins Telespiel!
welle:erdball - telespiel

Didn't catch the bootlaces.... (none / 0) (#121)
by blixco on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 09:14:18 AM EST

....but that's a damn fine point. White bootlaces mean the same thing in the US.

Fascists! Heil McDonald!
-------------------------------------------
"No. Seriously. Mace the fuckers with prose." - Parent ]

Culture trivia on boot laces (none / 0) (#127)
by broken77 on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 05:29:03 PM EST

In skinhead culture, white laces on boots have traditionally been used to signify white power. Same with red. But the punks (and non-racist skins) have taken over these laces, and pretty much anyone wears them now. Although old schoolers who aren't aware of this might occassionally accuse you of being a white supremacist if you wear these laces. FYI.

I'm starting to doubt all this happy propaganda about Islam being a religion of peace. Heck, it's just as bad as Christianity. -- Dphitz
[ Parent ]

Sadly for that theory (none / 0) (#144)
by A Trickster Imp on Sun Jan 05, 2003 at 07:56:36 AM EST

Sadly for that theory, he's a sesame head, not skinhead.

[ Parent ]
That's what happened to adequacy... (3.50 / 4) (#119)
by Wiggy on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 07:56:05 AM EST

I was wondering where all the kids from adequacy.org went to - this is SO their style it's just not funny. It just goes to show: if you write something stupid but use big words, people get impressed and FP it. Ho-hum.

Mini-me
Yes (none / 0) (#120)
by MisterQueue on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 08:10:45 AM EST

because clearly labeling it as humor is the best way to troll too! So effecient to beat those who will call you a troll to the punch. :P

And no, never went to AQ by the way, but thanks for the concern. Please direct all further questions to my man-servant Slunchy.

-Q

-------
"I inspired someone to blather nonsense!" -theantix
[ Parent ]

actually (none / 0) (#126)
by turmeric on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 02:44:26 PM EST

what just goes to show that if you use big words people FP it is the new york times, the chronicle of higher education, etc etc etc. i would say newsweek but all they prove is that if you replace cliches with your own words that sort of fit .. but anyways.

adequacy is perhaps the only place left where the idiocy of the media is pulverzied into little tiny bits of reality.

[ Parent ]

First time, no clue - Bring some context! (none / 0) (#128)
by Enocasiones on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 07:19:55 PM EST

This is a first for me: I read the article, clicked the links, looked at the Beatles-style cards (or McDonald's, it seems) and still, I didn't understand a single word.

I infered some things: the author seems to be trying to hang a lable of fascism or something nasty on McDonald's because of some cards they published who knows where. Well, actually I have an idea of where that is, but I'm not getting into that.

I'm not sure if he is trolling (don't think so after reading the first few comments, not very enlightening, btw) or if he really thinks McDonald's encourages Fascist Police-State Regimes. The problem is I am not in a position to discuss the subject, so I will read the comments to see what all the fuss is about ...

I see, I shouldn't be reading this article: who the hell uses a burger chain as a model, i.e., what is the relevance of the story? We already knew the tits of America, those two archs in praise of money, were evil. What really made me post a comment was a pledge for article writers: please put things in context, even if just a bit. Just for the ignorant rest of the world. And if you use two lines, use them wisely.

Regards,

Enoc

PS: about 80% through the comments I see it's about humour... ah, I can feign ignorance due to distance and avoid being called humourless! Here McD is really seen as evil!

Huour (1.00 / 1) (#134)
by Spendocrat on Wed Dec 18, 2002 at 08:36:01 PM EST

The bannana should tip you off.

[ Parent ]
Thanks (5.00 / 2) (#135)
by Enocasiones on Wed Dec 18, 2002 at 10:19:02 PM EST

The banana, the banana ... that sounds familiar ... hey, the icons! I think in the beginning I paid attention to them and read about topics and sections, but I couldn't relate the icons to anything and stopped noticing. Treated them like ads. Thank you for showing.

--

Enoc (COUPLE OF RANTS DELETED)

[ Parent ]

That's a bananna? (none / 0) (#140)
by vectro on Sun Dec 29, 2002 at 04:17:20 PM EST

I always thought it was a slug.

“The problem with that definition is just that it's bullshit.” -- localroger
[ Parent ]
The comments are better than the story (none / 0) (#129)
by seeS on Tue Dec 17, 2002 at 11:54:09 PM EST

Damn, I didn't get here to vote this guy +1 FP, but at least fellow stirrers have taken care of it. The story is not important, the indignant comments are all that matter. BTW, the reason why Mayor McCheese was retired and Ronald is more prominent is that Maccas realised that to be a real politician you have to be a complete clown. (I'm real surprised the politician-clown joke hasn't made it previously)
--
Where's a policeman when you need one to blame the World Wide Web?
Billions and Billions in Servitude | 143 comments (123 topical, 20 editorial, 0 hidden)
Display: Sort:

kuro5hin.org

[XML]
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. The Rest © 2000 - Present Kuro5hin.org Inc.
See our legalese page for copyright policies. Please also read our Privacy Policy.
Kuro5hin.org is powered by Free Software, including Apache, Perl, and Linux, The Scoop Engine that runs this site is freely available, under the terms of the GPL.
Need some help? Email help@kuro5hin.org.
My heart's the long stairs.

Powered by Scoop create account | help/FAQ | mission | links | search | IRC | YOU choose the stories!