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[P]
Bacon among us.

By Rezand in Culture
Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:38:09 AM EST
Tags: Culture (all tags)
Culture

Do you really think much about what you eat? Marketers and corporate decision makers are constantly taking advantage of the fact that you don't really notice. If it tastes good and keeps you fed, you don't care. Eating stuff is a fact of life, and marketers are trying to make everything a silent staple in your life. Once you've been raised on a food or meal, the corporations can sit back and count their money while you and your family make their product into a culinary tradition.

This article is a little discussion about the striking transformation bacon has made at the hands of the National Pork Producers Council (NPCC). America and the free world has barely noticed how bacon has greased its way into being associated with just about everything we eat.


Bacon's origins, like many things, can be traced back to accident and frugality. English farmers raised their pigs for the lucrative ham market, but the larger pigs produced so much fat that the farmers often had excess. Poor families were able to purchase the pigs' fattiest portions quite inexpensively. For their meals, these families would cut off the leaner parts and then provide the overly fatty portions to their hounds. Fried bacon `strips' originated when families began frying this fat in order to feed newborn puppies, as the small animals would otherwise choke on the chewy uncooked fat. It wasn't long before the realization that frying the bacon was also flavoring their other food, and the poor families themselves began eating the crispy strips regularly.

Bacon's slide into other facets of our diets didn't get its largest start until the 20th century. In the 1920s, as swine slaughterhouses became more and more popular, bacon moved out of the kitchens of farmers and into the average homes of Americans. People could regularly go to the market and purchase large sides of bacon (often from local farmers, but many times from unknown and remote locations). As bacon became heavily advertised, housewives in American and England began cooking the items as a common addition to the eggs they ate for breakfast. Advertisements for how "Bacon Picks Him Up In The Morning" or "Helps You Start A Crispy Day" led the campaign that fueled our desire for crispy fat. The early visionaries in marketing did wonders at starting bacon's ascent in popularity and the creation of the pork industry's `cash cow`.

Due to the business tactics of NPPC members in this century, you see an even more tremendous upswing in the popularity of bacon today. Consumers barely realize how often bacon is involved with their meals, and have come to accept it as part of their lives without even thinking about it. Bacon has been marketed as a stand-alone meal, a flavoring device, as well as an all-purpose topping. Bacon is next to your pancakes, swimming in your beans, constantly on your burgers, dropped on your pizza, added to your chili, crumbled in your salad, crunching on your potato, and sticking out of your sandwiches. The sheer amount of bacon consumed is overwhelming; so much bacon is purchased in America that there's been a shortage of bacon for the last five years.

The future plans have bacon consumption increasing even further. Possible new fads being cooked up are bacon stuffing for turkeys, adding bacon to dozens of seafood dishes, and bacon pot pies. The pork producers are adamant that you make bacon a part of every meal and are looking to see usage increase dramatically as your children start their own families. The real money lies in getting your family to ingest bacon across generations-- an NPPC plan that is succeeding handily.

Just keep in mind that all of this is because puppies don't chew fat chunks very well. Now Americans get the chance to do so at every meal.

[This article originally included as part of the 4inform column for the journal-based Shishuu webzine.]

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Poll
What do you like with your bacon?
o Soup 0%
o Baked Potato 12%
o Seafood 1%
o Beef 5%
o Salad 4%
o Only bacon, please. 26%
o I'm indifferent. 13%
o I can't/won't/don't eat bacon. 36%

Votes: 225
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Shishuu webzine
o Also by Rezand


Display: Sort:
Bacon among us. | 136 comments (115 topical, 21 editorial, 0 hidden)
Kevin Bacon... (2.55 / 9) (#1)
by paxus on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:28:29 PM EST

is a mediocre actor, but even a story on him would have interested me more than this.




"...I am terrible time, the destroyer of all beings in all worlds, engaged to destroy all beings in this world... " - Lord Krishna, Bhagavad Gita
How much of this can you extract..? (1.00 / 3) (#6)
by RandomAction on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:35:55 PM EST

What is the limit of the piss you can take..

Don't worry this is a British sort of thing. Mmm.. we love a little Lard&BDSM 'n' stuff.

[ Parent ]
they call me bruce (3.00 / 1) (#48)
by zephc on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:50:26 AM EST

great bruce lee quote =]

[ Parent ]
Mmmmmm. . . . BACON! (n/t) (2.18 / 11) (#2)
by adamant on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:28:40 PM EST



Bacon tastes goood...(nt) (2.66 / 12) (#3)
by cyclopatra on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:29:32 PM EST


All your .sigs are belong to us.
remove mypants to email
Mmm,.. I'm a freaking veggie and yet Mmm smell it (3.50 / 4) (#5)
by RandomAction on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:32:32 PM EST

Fry. Poor little Babe.

[ Parent ]
Funny thing (4.60 / 5) (#9)
by tenpo on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:47:43 PM EST

A friend of mine works in a cafe that has quite a few vegetarian customers. She was saying that the manager always reminds them to scrape the bacon fat from the pan before preparing any vegetarian's meal. The funny thing is occaisionally they don't (forgetfulness, business, etc.) and whenever that happens the hapless vegetarian always sends complements to the cook. For some reason the meal had a great taste that they just can't quite put their finger on...

[ Parent ]
which reminds me (4.66 / 3) (#11)
by cyclopatra on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:51:32 PM EST

...of the several vegetarians I knew who had been vegetarians from weaning (granola parents). Every one of them that tasted meat as a teenager fell in love with the stuff and rebelled against their parent's veggie ideology thereafter. Except for the one girl who was somehow allergic to meat, that is...

Anyway, what is it about meat that tastes so good, even when you're not protein deficient?

Cyclopatra
All your .sigs are belong to us.
remove mypants to email
[ Parent ]

I don't really know.... (4.00 / 1) (#19)
by morkeleb on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:31:27 PM EST

But I do know that I have a pair of canine teeth that did not come from my ancestors being herbivores all the time. Maybe that has something to do with it.
"If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry." - Emily Dickinson
[ Parent ]
actually (4.33 / 3) (#26)
by tarsand on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:53:10 PM EST

its the saturated fat. Since humans evolved not to eat meat in great quantities, the drive evolved to eat it whenever the chance presented itself, because it is a concentrated form of nutrition. Mostly this is because the animal fat is extremely energy dense. Even though we don't need this instinct these days, it still exists.


"Oh, no, I agree with tarsand!" -- trhurler
[ Parent ]
The taste... (5.00 / 2) (#69)
by MKalus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:37:38 AM EST

... is contained in the fat.

Most meat contains quite some fat, so if you have a vegetarian diet you tend to eat less fat than the average person, as such it can be a bit "bland" by itself.

Not a biggie, if you add some spices etc. but Meat in itself has a very strong taste.

[ Parent ]
Yeah - spices! (none / 0) (#81)
by gordonjcp on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:44:18 AM EST

What is it with vegetarians and spices? A friend of mine is a chef at a veggie cafe in Glasgow. His chilli is is just *evil*. I mean, I like spicy food, but this stuff is just beyond belief!
I quite like the way that vegetables taste, by themselves. I can quite happily eat fairly hot chilli, meat or non-meat. But I don't know why so many vegetarians and vegans find it necessary to entirely dissolve their tastebuds with capsaicin..

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll bore you rigid with fishing stories for the rest of your life.


[ Parent ]
Yes! (2.50 / 6) (#7)
by sigwinch on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:43:38 PM EST

I Love Bacon!

--
I don't want the world, I just want your half.

BEEF too (3.20 / 5) (#10)
by subgenius on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:51:03 PM EST

Dunno if anyone read Mondays NY Times article about beef. Terri Gross was interviewing the author today on FreshAir on npr. Worse/same krap. I am only eating ferrel hogs and grass fed beef that I know by name from now on.

Bet my Barbeque meatfests will be really good from now on and much healthier, if more expensive.
Drive On.
Drive On!
More expensive? (none / 0) (#107)
by epepke on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:19:17 PM EST

Come to Florida. You can get grass-fed beef all over the place, and it's cheap. As for the feral hogs, you can just shoot your own.


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
uhh... (4.28 / 7) (#12)
by tenpo on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:52:01 PM EST

What happened to an 'eggs' option in the poll, dagnabbit?

Bacon Consipiracy? (4.80 / 15) (#13)
by theElectron on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 09:59:29 PM EST

Please don't tell me you're trying to suggest that bacon's popularity is the result of an ongoing century-long conspiracy by corporate coalitions representing pig farmers? What the heck is wrong with you people!? Contrary to what seems to be popular belief here on kuro5hin, not everything is the result of the subversive actions of a big, evil corporation. Bacon is popular because it's tasty.

--
Join the NRA!
what if (5.00 / 1) (#38)
by tarsand on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:38:28 AM EST

We've just been brainwashed to believe it is tasty. Over 120 years, it has become a self-perpetuating trend in society. I think this is a successful brainwashing if I've ever seen one.


"Oh, no, I agree with tarsand!" -- trhurler
[ Parent ]
Yeah!! (4.66 / 3) (#39)
by spacejack on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:41:24 AM EST

Don't think, eat your damn bacon!!

[ Parent ]
Conspiracy (5.00 / 1) (#106)
by Chris K on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:19:14 PM EST

Please, these aren't diamonds we're talking about here.
duxup: I think people who give should be hunted down and hugged. (IRC)
[ Parent ]
No bacon for me (3.76 / 13) (#15)
by CaptainSuperBoy on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:10:35 PM EST

I don't eat bacon.. it's too ordinary, I guess. I will only eat meats that cause animals the most pain. My diet consists mostly of veal, foie gras, and lamb.

--
jimmysquid.com - I take pictures.
WTF? (none / 0) (#63)
by gordonjcp on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 07:48:31 AM EST

How does lamb cause the animal any more pain than any other meat, like beef, for example?

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll bore you rigid with fishing stories for the rest of your life.


[ Parent ]
lamb (5.00 / 2) (#83)
by deadplant on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:59:42 AM EST

eating lamb causes more pain for the vegans because lambs are cuter than cows.


[ Parent ]
multiple lambicide (none / 0) (#104)
by dark on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:59:01 PM EST

To get the same amount of meat you have to kill five cute little lambs instead of one ugly pig.

(One day, pigs will rule the world. They already outnumber us.)



[ Parent ]
I may be brainwashed... (3.12 / 8) (#17)
by morkeleb on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:27:31 PM EST

But bacon is yummy......
"If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry." - Emily Dickinson
technology ... EVIL!!! (2.85 / 7) (#21)
by xriso on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:35:19 PM EST

Anything that is trendy must obviously be part of a hideous conspiracy.
--
*** Quits: xriso:#kuro5hin (Forever)
I'd like to see figures... (4.33 / 6) (#23)
by mech9t8 on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:38:30 PM EST

...that bacon consumption is going up, because everyone I know thinks of it as heart attack food. What used to be an everyday breakfast staple has now become something most people seem to eat only on rare occasions when they're spoiling themselves.

Bacon bits are certainly popular, but most of the time they are soy products that have absolutely nothing to do with pork.

--
IMHO
Not bacon itself maybe... (none / 0) (#68)
by MKalus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:31:15 AM EST

... but if you look at where they always put it...

You can bet that some part of bacon is in everything you might buy as a prepackaged food. Why? Because it "tastes good". The fat contains the taste.

[ Parent ]
Big Bacon puts mind control chips in the fat! (4.69 / 13) (#25)
by Anatta on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 10:40:26 PM EST

Lots of people actually like bacon. Its popularity is not a result of such genius advertising slogans as "Bacon Picks Him Up In The Morning" or "Helps You Start A Crispy Day", but rather because, as you write,
It wasn't long before the realization that frying the bacon was also flavoring their other food, and the poor families themselves began eating the crispy strips regularly.
In other words, first people didn't think bacon would taste good... then they started to taste it flavoring their food, and they found it tasted good. They got more. And more. And more.

The growth in popularity wasn't a result of a big conspiracy by Big Bacon, but rather as a result of Big Taste Buds, which bacon apparently complimented well. Why is it that you create some marketing conspiracy rather than just come to the much more sensible conclusion that bacon became a part of the Western diet because it tastes good?

I'm a vegetarian and therefore don't eat bacon, but I remember liking the taste of it. And I don't think I've ever seen an advertisement for bacon. Ever. Amazing, that.
My Music

Big Bacon (3.00 / 1) (#33)
by rusty on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:09:05 AM EST

Oh my. "Big Bacon." I am forever in your debt, simply for adding that term to my lexicon.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Obviously none of you know the Real Truth (5.00 / 6) (#40)
by KilljoyAZ on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:48:56 AM EST

Big Bacon has had US presidents in its pocket for the last 4 decades. You didn't think the US military invaded Grenada to drive out the Communists, did you? No! Fruit was becoming a greater part of America's nutritious breakfast, displacing bacon, and it had to be stopped. All the kicked over fruit stands sent a message to fruit supporters worldwide: America is Big Bacon Country.

===
Creativitiy cannot be SPELT by over 98% of all American troops. - psychologist
[ Parent ]
Annnnd.... (none / 0) (#74)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:24:27 AM EST

The US is oppressing Cuba because Big Bacon is afraid that lower cost Socialist Bacon will flood the market!

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
That's not all (5.00 / 1) (#82)
by KilljoyAZ on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:58:02 AM EST

I submit to you that the Gulf War was not about liberating Kuwait. I submit to you that the Gulf War was not even about oil. Ask yourself this: what region of the world is the largest untapped market for bacon and bacon related products?

Look at what they're not telling you and read between the lines, and it will all become clear to you people.

===
Creativitiy cannot be SPELT by over 98% of all American troops. - psychologist
[ Parent ]
Oh. My. God. Of Course! (5.00 / 2) (#84)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:03:45 AM EST

We are fighting in Afghanistan, not because of Big Oil and Caspian Sea pipelines, but because we need to convert the heathen! So that they will eat more bacon! Putting even more power into the hands of Big Bacon!

Now I see it! It's clear at last! And Afghanistan is right near India, which is full of non-bacon-eating vegetarians!

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]

"Complemented" [nt] (5.00 / 1) (#41)
by medham on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:50:30 AM EST

It's like the sound of old T Rex.

The real 'medham' has userid 6831.
[ Parent ]

T-rex class battleship (none / 0) (#113)
by eudas on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:00:08 PM EST

heh... for a moment you made me think of a 421 weight battleship with 10 beam weapons and 5 torpedo tubes.

eudas
"We're placing this wood in your ass for the good of the world" -- mrgoat
[ Parent ]
WTF? (3.80 / 5) (#28)
by Funk Soul Hacker on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 11:21:58 PM EST

a 120 year conspiracy. OMG!!!!11

Or maybe it just tastes good...


--- Right about now, Da Funk Soul Hacker
You betcha. (none / 0) (#32)
by porkchop_d_clown on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:04:43 AM EST

The "other white meat" baby. Good for what ails you. Or maybe it ails what's good for you. Or something.


--
I'm not a sexist pig!
I'm a plain-old-everyday pig!


[ Parent ]
Cat (none / 0) (#78)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:28:42 AM EST

the other white meat.

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
Why is this bad? (4.37 / 8) (#29)
by adamsc on Wed Apr 03, 2002 at 11:27:47 PM EST

If people like it, why should we care if the farmers are making an effort to sell it? The responsibility for eating a balanced diet belongs to me, not my grocer.

The pork producers are adamant that you make bacon a part of every meal
They're pushing things people like so they can sell more? Heaven forbid - you'd think we lived in a capitalist society or something! When did buying low and selling high become a sinister practice instead of a basic part of a market economy, anyway?

Generalizing a bit, why should we care if a legal product or service which you disapprove of is selling well? Sure, everyone claims they're just trying to protect the downtrodden masses from evil, exploitative corporations - that's because it sounds better than "forcing my small-minded views on anyone who disagrees with me".



Why? (5.00 / 1) (#65)
by CaptainZapp on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 08:43:14 AM EST

why should we care if a legal product or service which you disapprove of is selling well?

You may want to read Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal to answer that (and a helluva lot of more) questions.

It's an interesting - albeit sometimes rather gross - read.

[ Parent ]

hey. Hey. HEY! (2.00 / 2) (#31)
by porkchop_d_clown on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:03:06 AM EST

I have to say that I am deeply offended by all the pork and pork-by-product related comments and would appreciate it if y'all would show just a bit more sensitivity to those of us have been diagnosed as suffering from needus-attentionitus more commonly known as "hamming it up".


--
I'm not a sexist pig!
I'm a plain-old-everyday pig!


The real conspiracy (3.00 / 3) (#36)
by karb on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:30:03 AM EST

Boy, am I hungry for some bacon right now.

I'm serious. I just finished reading "The Ultimate History of Video Games" by steven kent. The book has multiple examples of otherwise lackluster games being launched into bestseller land because they were denounced as immoral by a congressman or some group with "family" in the name.

I can't help but think you're trying to do the same thing, especially seeing as how you use the enticing words "crispy" and "fat". Mmmmm (slobber)
--
Who is the geek who would risk his neck for his brother geek?

Don't know about you... (3.00 / 4) (#37)
by physicsgod on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:33:52 AM EST

But the bacon I put on my salads and potatos is just soy and FD&C reds.

--- "Those not wearing body armor are hereby advised to keep their arguments on-topic" Schlock Mercenary
Don't forget the "natural flavoring" (none / 0) (#108)
by drivers on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:28:39 PM EST

Produced by chemical factories in New Jersey.

[ Parent ]
LOL! (3.76 / 17) (#42)
by spacejack on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:58:05 AM EST

Looking at all the pro-bacon comments... no wonder you Americans are such fat bastards. Go ahead, keep eating that shit, don't think about it. Don't critique it. Doesn't bother the rest of us in the least. In fact, I find your efforts to shoot this article down amusing, in a sort of mean-spirited way.

Amusing aside to non-Americans: a friend of mine was in the States (Philidelpheia I think?) last summer and told me that he saw all these people riding around on those motorized scooters you typically see handicapped using. Except they weren't handicapped -- they were too fat to walk!! Oddly enough, I honestly can't say I've ever seen that here in Canada or in Europe. Maybe we should vote this down just to keep them ignorant so we can keep making fun of how obese they are.

rude, but ... (4.50 / 2) (#43)
by tarsand on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:29:35 AM EST

Well, I'm willing to bet you're going to be zeroed out for that comment, but have you seen this.. (80% of adult US people are overweight).

Funny, because it confirms the stereotype.


"Oh, no, I agree with tarsand!" -- trhurler
[ Parent ]
As for Canadians, (4.00 / 1) (#51)
by gauntlet on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:40:37 AM EST

We're 46% overweight or obese, according to a recent television news show for which I do not have source references.

Into Canadian Politics?
[ Parent ]

ack (none / 0) (#116)
by tarsand on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:50:16 PM EST

That's fairly alarming as well ... time for Participaction!


"Oh, no, I agree with tarsand!" -- trhurler
[ Parent ]
ok (none / 0) (#94)
by spacejack on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:28:07 PM EST

Maybe a bit over the top. It was late, I just finished a massive project, and I haven't had enough sleep the past few days. It was meant more as a tough love sort of thing than just to be rude.

[ Parent ]
rude my ass (4.00 / 2) (#102)
by fn0rd on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:54:15 PM EST

It's no secret that this country is overrun with people too fat to walk. I have seen them, too, and they are a truly pathetic sight, with their enormous backsides overflowing the cruelly abused seat on their electric scooters, their muumuus straining at the seams. They will all argue, every last one, that they suffer from some obscure "gland condition" which leads to their obesity. Why is this condition so prevelant in the US and so absent elsewhere, I wonder? Why don't you see this in Brazil, for instance?

This fatwa brought to you by the Agnostic Jihad
[ Parent ]

Why not... (none / 0) (#109)
by elefantstn on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:44:39 PM EST

<blockquote><i>Why don't you see this in Brazil, for instance?</i></blockquote>

I would venture to guess that it's because in America, the cheapest food option is really unhealthy, and comes in large quantities. Have you ever been to a grocery store in an "inner-city" type area? The stuff in people's carts there is amazingly terrible for you.

[ Parent ]
The cheapest? (4.66 / 3) (#110)
by fn0rd on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:07:55 PM EST

I don't think the cheapest food options are what you're describing, but the ones with the best price/convenience ratio. In other words, the food it takes the minimum amount of effort to procure and prepare are what these behemoths are eating. Beans, rice, pasta, veggies, and most fruits are not expensive at all, but they're a lot harder to cook than a "Hungry Man" TV dinner.

This fatwa brought to you by the Agnostic Jihad
[ Parent ]

Probably right... (none / 0) (#111)
by elefantstn on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:23:43 PM EST

You're probably right about that. I would add "readily available" to that as well. I get a lot of what I eat during the week from the local farmer's market and it's much better and cheaper that way, but I have to plan and get there on Saturday morning to do that. If you don't do that, though, it's much easier to stop by the grocery store and get chips, fried chicken, etc.

[ Parent ]
ouahahahahha! (4.00 / 2) (#50)
by KiTaSuMbA on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:31:30 AM EST

Though full of pleasent irony your post touches a very serious question of the "American diet" (if there is such a thing :). Americans and, unfortunately other western populations that closely follow that burger-cola-MTV trend, are stuffing themselves to death. Ok, so I'm 5 kilos overweight myself, won't leave this monitor even if bombs are falling and smoke 2 packets of cigs a day... but at least I *cook* what I eat and is usually recognisable as grocery, fish, maybe a stake. SO, the moral is... americans will die of heart disease, I'll die of lung cancer! Isn't life so enjoyable? Ahahhahahaha!
There is no Dopaminergic Pepperoni Kabal!
[ Parent ]
If we didn't eat so much fast food... (5.00 / 2) (#55)
by humpasaur on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:19:11 AM EST

where would our high school students and morons work?

Seriously though, if the issue is overeating, it sure as heck beats starvation on the flip side.

Plus if Americans got a lot healthier, they would live longer. This would wreak havoc on our inferior social security system.

Let them eat cake!
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?
[ Parent ]

The Demiurge's plan for World Peace (3.00 / 2) (#56)
by Demiurge on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:36:10 AM EST

1)Imperator Bush marches into Canada with a dozen legions at his back. We put the men to the sword, raze the cities, take the women and children as slaves, and sow the fields with salt. 2) 3)Peace!

[ Parent ]
Ha ha ha! (none / 0) (#89)
by elefantstn on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:43:12 AM EST

Yeah, totally!

Amusing aside to Americans -- a friend of mine was in Canada last summer (Callgury I think?), and he told that there are people there who never smile. Not because they're unhappy, but because their teeth are so terrible!! Looks like nothing's changed since they sailed over from England. But let's not tell them, because if they find out, they'll all drive south of the border to take advantage of our superior dentistry.

[ Parent ]
xenophobic asshole (2.00 / 1) (#114)
by Ender Ryan on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:19:28 PM EST

My God, you certainly are a xenophobic asshole, aren't you?

Certainly, many Americans are obese, but I just got back from Canada and there were quite a number of obese people there too...

Why are you so hostile towards people you do not even know?


-
Exposing vast conspiracies! Experts at everything even outside our expertise! Liberators of the world from the oppression of the evil USian Empire!

We are Kuro5hin!


[ Parent ]

Now that's funny too (none / 0) (#115)
by spacejack on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:42:48 PM EST

Someone called "Ender Ryan" calling someone xenophobic. Anyways, chill out. Don't you know tough love when you see it?

[ Parent ]
heh (4.00 / 2) (#117)
by Ender Ryan on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:13:44 PM EST

"Someone called "Ender Ryan" calling someone xenophobic"

Yeah, I suppose that is pretty funny ;-)


-
Exposing vast conspiracies! Experts at everything even outside our expertise! Liberators of the world from the oppression of the evil USian Empire!

We are Kuro5hin!


[ Parent ]

Thrown to the dogs (4.18 / 11) (#44)
by Hopfrog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:44:06 AM EST

If you eat leafs and other vegetables, you stay short. Look at the people who have vegetables/grain as their main diet in Asia. Compare that to the fulani cattle herders of middle africa, who are usually very tall and thin.

Excess protein makes you and your children tall. Being tall means that the girls like you. When the girls like you, you get respected by other men. When other men respect you, you get a good job and be rich.

So, if you eat bacon, you will be rich. And that is why America is the richest country in the world.

Hop.

but, but ... (2.00 / 1) (#45)
by tarsand on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:46:08 AM EST

bacon is almost entirely fat. Is that why "America" is the fattest country in the world?


"Oh, no, I agree with tarsand!" -- trhurler
[ Parent ]
no. (3.33 / 3) (#53)
by humpasaur on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:10:05 AM EST

The reason why America is the fattest country in the world(it is also the phattest) is not because bacon is almost entirely fat.

It is because Americans eat a lot of it.
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?
[ Parent ]

Including between meals (N/T) (5.00 / 1) (#88)
by Betcour on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:20:18 AM EST



[ Parent ]
However (none / 0) (#64)
by notcarlos on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 08:34:27 AM EST

Actually, that was just a catchy title. I was going to point to actual environmental and biological facts, but then I finished the article and realised that you were just trolling. Boffo!


He will destroy you like an academic ninja.
-- Rating on Rate My Professors.com
[ Parent ]
Thank God for this! Oh blessed heaven, yes! (none / 0) (#72)
by Hopfrog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:53:24 AM EST

Somebody finally realizes that not everything is meant perfectly seriously.

It is such a relief. I was already wondering if I was the only one who recognized tongue in cheek posts.

Hop.

[ Parent ]

So why... (1.00 / 1) (#67)
by MKalus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:24:11 AM EST

... do people in NA tend to be SHORTER than the average european?



[ Parent ]
Whats NA (n/p) (1.00 / 1) (#70)
by Hopfrog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:51:45 AM EST



[ Parent ]
NA == North America (1.00 / 1) (#75)
by MKalus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:25:15 AM EST

Yeah, I am lazy.

[ Parent ]
The reason (3.00 / 1) (#87)
by Hopfrog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:17:31 AM EST

You cannot put America and Europe into this model and generalize, because the diet is very varied.

Hop.

[ Parent ]

mm.. sacrilicious (2.60 / 5) (#46)
by Rahaan on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:51:18 AM EST

I *hope* that anyone who thinks that people eat bacon today because of marketing is just joking.

I think it's just the opposite - people eat bacon because it tastes good. When they ate bacon may have been due to the actions of marketing campaigns - just about everyone I know associates bacon with breakfast more than anything else. Why?

Well, for me, it's because I just happened to grow up eating bacon in the morning. I don't recall ever seeing an advertisement for it, although that's meaningless - I doubt I would remember any if I had. However, I probably did see it on TV shows and in movies, et cetera, but that's the same as seeing my parents eating it in the morning. So why is that association there?

I dunno. The marketing probably did have an effect. So anyway - my conclusion? We're just beginning to throw off the shackles of our baconed oppression by eating it at all times of the day. I think we should embrace the revolution and turn bacon into some form of dessert :>

viva la revolucion! hail to the bacon, baby!


you know, jake.. i've noticed that, since the tacos started coming, the mail doesn't so much come as often, or even at all

Hooray for BACON! (2.00 / 2) (#47)
by humpasaur on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:37:19 AM EST

When I saw the title, I thought this article was gonna be about Kevin Bacon. Boy was I pleasantly suprised!

Sometimes I eat bacon, but it is just too messy with all of the fat. So I just order it at the restaurant.

This article made me all patriotic and stuff for bacon. Screw those holier than thou "I'm not American!" types who don't understand our love of bacon. It is sooooo full of flavor. Unlike a hunk of tofu that just tastes like squashed bean curds. Oh wait that is what it is. Please do your next article on spiral sliced ham. MMmmmmm...ham.
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?

go VEGETARIAN! (2.42 / 7) (#49)
by gromgull on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:30:37 AM EST

You can't kill the poor animals!
It's like eating people with Downs syndrome!
--
If I had my way I'd have all of you shot

MMmmmm...Corky... (3.00 / 2) (#52)
by humpasaur on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:03:23 AM EST

Oh blah di oh blah da...<burp>
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?
[ Parent ]

Technically ... (2.00 / 1) (#57)
by vrai on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:41:25 AM EST

You can't kill the poor animals!

Obviously we can kill poor animals, millions are slaughtered everyday. The question is whether we should.

Remember: PETA == People Eating Tasty Animals

[ Parent ]

Why not? (5.00 / 1) (#99)
by Mr. Piccolo on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:36:31 PM EST

Lions and crocodiles kill poor animals every day, why can't we?

The BBC would like to apologise for the following comment.


[ Parent ]
Morons are stupid every day (5.00 / 1) (#101)
by SIGFPE on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:41:17 PM EST

Why can't the rest of us be stupid too?
SIGFPE
[ Parent ]
Nothing is stopping you. (none / 0) (#123)
by humpasaur on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:32:48 PM EST

Obviously.
----

*sigh* Must I explain FURTHER?
[ Parent ]

They do, don't they. (none / 0) (#136)
by General Wesc on Wed Apr 24, 2002 at 06:27:22 PM EST

Then again, they never have any moral qualms about killing and eating humans either. Unless it's okay for us to kill humans for food, your argument doesn't work as currently stated.

--
General Wesc
[ Parent ]
American bacon (4.85 / 7) (#58)
by Rande on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:56:43 AM EST

I'm surprised that noone seems to have mentioned it before, but this article refers only to American bacon, which is lard with a few tiny streaks of pinkness.
As opposed to bacon in the rest of the world, where many people cut off the small amount of fat from the meat (the rind if it hasn't already been removed), and eat the meat.
And yes, feed the fat to the dog/cat/chicken/other pet.

Hee. :-) (3.00 / 1) (#61)
by Raena on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 07:10:33 AM EST

Even el cheapo crap bacon here has meat in it. MEAT, I say.

But I still lurrrrrve the fat. :)
--
Top 10 reasons why I procrastinate
1.




[ Parent ]
American bacon is good. (4.20 / 5) (#85)
by Wiccabilly on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:09:37 AM EST

The thing is, like bananas, autos, or a good steak, one must shop carefully. Most bacon is, as you say "lards with little specks of pinkness." But you say it like it's a BAD thing. Au contraire mon ami.

For starters, that fat is not useless. On the rare occasion I don't use all my bacon fat, I save it. It's perfect to just leave it in the pan and fry eggs, makes them fluffy and tasty. You can also add it to biscuit dough instead of shortening or lard and I really like the flavor. It's also good with whipped potatos. And, lest we forget our wee animal friends, a bowl of cat food drizzled with bacon fat once a week makes for a wonderfully shiny and soft feline coat.

The smart bacon shopper knows the look thru the windows on the BACK of the package and see how the meat/fat ratio looks. If you are careful, you can wind up with a lot more meat.

As for that dish you Brittonish folks call "bacon," we just call it "that weird ham that doesn't quite taste right." Only bacon is bacon. Don' t forget the eggs. ;)

[ Parent ]
And the rest of the world (none / 0) (#125)
by eviltwin on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 07:37:18 PM EST

Wonders WHY so many americans are overweight?



All generalisations are false, including this one.
[ Parent ]
I wonder why so many people are shallow. (1.00 / 1) (#134)
by Wiccabilly on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 12:00:12 AM EST

Overweight huh? Who decides what's over and under? There are extremes at both ends but most "overweight" people are not obese. They simply don't fit the body image dictated to us by society.

The way I see it, life is for living and our souls choose a life to fit them. If I had wanted to eat greens and run on a treadmill I would have chosen to be a hamster. As it is, good fatty food gives me bliss. If it shaves three years off my geriatric stage of life, it'll be small price to pay for having lived well.

[ Parent ]
Popcorn (none / 0) (#133)
by epepke on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 12:37:34 PM EST

One of the best uses of bacon fat is in pan-popping popcorn. Try it!


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
Not all bacon is like that (4.50 / 2) (#120)
by TheGreenLantern on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:44:44 PM EST

There's a relatively small but locally popular meat cutting/packing plant close to my home town called Kreibles. They make the best fucking bacon you'll ever taste in your life. We call it "Kill your mother" bacon. It's actually got real, solid, visible meat as it's backbone, with a minimum of fat. The shit fries up like a pork chop.

Of course, it also costs about as much per pound as KC Strip, but it's well worth it on occasion.

It hurts when I pee.
[ Parent ]
You should see what they do in Northern Britain (4.00 / 3) (#66)
by Wondertoad on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:23:43 AM EST

After preparing the morning meal, it's common to place a few slices of bread in the fat-filled pan. The bread soaks up the fat and fries a little. This is then served - even to unsuspecting B&B guests - as "fried bread".

You don't need marketing to create a disgusting food culture. All you need is a few centuries of starvation combined with a lack of access to spices. Your people will learn to boil and fry the crap out of everything - both to make it safe and to wring some flavor out of it.






They also eat spotted dick! (4.00 / 2) (#79)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:31:42 AM EST

Proof!

That explains quite a bit about the UK contingent here.

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]

What about grilling? (3.50 / 2) (#71)
by smarkb on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 09:51:56 AM EST

Is grilling bacon to let the fat drip out some kind of sacrilege then? I suppose it's a lost cause anyway.

Kind of like going to McDonalds and ordering a HyperSize Big Mac with diet Coke.

Grilling bacon (3.00 / 1) (#131)
by LordEq on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 08:42:06 AM EST

Grilling bacon is perfectly acceptable. Especially when it's wrapped around beef tips on skewers.

/me goes to fire up the grill...



--LordEq

"That's what K5's about. Hippies and narcs cavorting together." --panck
[ Parent ]
The reason bacon is so popular (3.50 / 2) (#86)
by Altus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:10:22 AM EST

Is because it is so freakin good

the same is true for almost all pork based products. they make up a significant portion of peoples diets because they are delicious and they are relativly in expensive (when compared to say, a good cut of steak)


"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
The Great Bacon Experiment (3.33 / 3) (#90)
by innerlemming on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:49:37 AM EST

This guy ate bacon for a week, and nothing but. He survived, and may have even become some sort of superhero. Ick.

Nothing to joke about. (4.20 / 5) (#91)
by Youppi on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:02:16 PM EST

This may be a laughing matter to you, but for some of us, this bacon shortage has really hit home. Our plans to introduce BaconBurgers (All Bacon, no Beef!) have been sadly curtailed as a result of the lack of quality bacon options. Big Bacon is a treat to every small bacon distributor and producer and should be monitored by all forward thinking people. Without such monitoring, Big Bacon could easily force the little guys like us completely out of the picture. Like most of my smaller competitors, I believe that Big Bacon has manufactured this "crisis" to force us out of business, leaving them to control completely the flow bacon to the American bacon eating public. This is a serious issue that ultimately could affect the world bacon market. Please don't let Big Bacon shut us down! We have a lot to offer the bacon eating community, and we must not let these corporate fat pigs continue to feed at the trough while the rest of us are just stuck in the mud. Please contact the NPPC and let them know that you support the little guy. Down with Big Bacon!

"treat" (5.00 / 1) (#100)
by jaymagee on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:40:06 PM EST

"Big Bacon is a treat to every small bacon distributor" Or did you mean "threat"?
Making a better humanity, one genetic change at a time.
[ Parent ]
Why US only? (4.00 / 1) (#92)
by alb0 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:11:10 PM EST

Usually, US marketing habits come to us (I live in France) only a few years later.

But there is AFAIK practically no bacon in France, few people eat it, at least not to the extent American people do. It's not that we don't like it - bacon is fat, and rule number one in cooking is fat==good. But this particular habit has not crossed the Atlantic.

Why so? Are European Pork Marketeers dumber than others? Do we already ship all our bacon to the USA?



Another change in bacon (4.00 / 1) (#93)
by epepke on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:12:10 PM EST

I remember that when I was a kid, the fat that came off of bacon was the good, solid, artery-clogging kind. When you put it in a coffee can at room temperature, it got hard.

I recently started eating bacon again after not cooking it for many years, and something has happened to the fat. It's slushy instead of hard at room temperature.

What happened? Have they been feeding the pigs beer or something?


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


Check the ingredients.... (5.00 / 1) (#132)
by Elkor on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 10:02:16 AM EST

See if there is an artificial additive.

It wouldn't suprise me to know that they are adding a "fat anti-coagulant" to help keep the fat from clogging arteries. If it stays slushy in the human system more of it would get flushed out.

'Course, it makes me wonder what ELSE it is flushing out...

And, if it doesn't list any "extra" ingredients, then you should call the Food Agency on 'em, cause they are probably lying.

Regards,
Elkor


"I won't tell you how to love God if you don't tell me how to love myself."
-Margo Eve
[ Parent ]
Bacon... (1.00 / 2) (#95)
by wintermute204 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:28:24 PM EST

Nothing wakes me up like the sound of a nice slice of Kevin Bacon frying in the morning.

Chicken Fried Bacon (3.66 / 3) (#96)
by subgenius on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:32:55 PM EST

There is a resturant about 30 miles from Austin, Texas that serves Chicken Fried Bacon. Usually we eat Chicken Fried Steak but he is doing well with the bacon. "Chicken Fried", for those not from Texas, means Breaded and Fried. My cholesterol goes up just passing the place.
Drive on.
Drive On!
Re: Bacon is [...] crumbled in your salad [...] (4.00 / 1) (#98)
by Stavr0 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:36:30 PM EST

There's no bacon in "Bacon Bits". It's made of soy.
- - -
All your posse are belong to Andre the Giant
Depends (4.50 / 2) (#105)
by davidduncanscott on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:11:16 PM EST

Obviously you're right about "Baco's", or "Bakon Bits" or "Baqon" or whatever, but it is in fact possible to fry bacon to a very crispy state, let it cool, and then crumble it, producing genuine bacon bits, and some restaurants (and a good many Real People) do just that.

[ Parent ]
Asparagus! (2.00 / 1) (#103)
by aluminumaloi on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 12:57:10 PM EST

Hey! Your poll is missing the best possible food to eat bacon with: Asparagus! Come on! Get with the times!

Mmmmmmm bacon... Asparagus... Mmmmmmm... *drool*

Hey, we have a fat tooth. (none / 0) (#112)
by clion999 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:26:58 PM EST

I'm not surprised that big pork producers manipulate things, but that doesn't mean we weren't pre-programmed to like their message. Ham is just leaner bacon and it was a popular part of many non-kosher diets. If you ask me, the salt craving is our real weakness. It causes high blood pressure and many other maladies.

"Toxic waste is good for you" (4.00 / 2) (#118)
by I am Jack's username on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:55:14 PM EST

> How come there are nitrites in hot dogs when the Delaney Clause prohibits known carcinogens in food products? - HarryD7521

As a test to see if you are paying attention? - David Bugg
--
Inoshiro for president!
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." - Bertrand Russell

Bacon... (3.50 / 2) (#119)
by der on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:19:28 PM EST

... tastes damn fine.

Who really cares if it was "invented" to feed to puppies? If steak was originally "invented" to feed to sick, dying pigs with one eye and 2 legs, would it therefore be disgusting and obviously a part of some sinister business plot to addict 'merkins to it? No, steak tastes damn fine. People eat things because they taste good. All advertising can do is make you think of the food and then hopefully you decide you want to eat it.

I don't care what ad campaign you have, you can't make people eat shit with marketing dollars. :)



Why, (2.00 / 1) (#130)
by CaptainZapp on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 05:46:16 AM EST

don't care what ad campaign you have, you can't make people eat shit with marketing dollars. :)

of course you can

No need to thank me

[ Parent ]

misinformation for the masses (4.66 / 9) (#121)
by funkapus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:45:19 PM EST

This article is profoundly short on supporting facts. Many of the assertions here are so absurd I don't even know where to begin with them.

The fattiest portion of the pig isn't called bacon. It's called lard. Newborn puppies can't eat even fried fat, because they're busy drinking milk. If you were going to feed fat to a puppy old enough to eat solid food, would it make more sense to fry it, which takes a while and would cause it to liquefy, or just cut it into small pieces?

Bacon was eaten in England at least as far back as the 12th century. The English still eat a hell of a lot of bacon, as you would know if you ever had an English breakfast. Plenty of other European countries eat bacon, notably the Italians, who toss pancetta and prosciutto into all sorts of things, with mouth-watering results.

To find out more exciting information on pig consumption, see here, where you will discover the sentence "As the seventeenth century closed, the typical farmer owned four or five pigs, supplying salt pork and bacon for his table," in addition to the fact that pigs were domesticated in Europe 3500 years ago. If people will go so far as to eat pig feet and pig brains, do you seriously think it took them until the 1920's to start eating bacon?

For the record, I'm a vegetarian, and it's largely due to reading a meticulously-researched and fact-filled book called "Fast Food Nation." Reading crap like this article annoys the heck out of me, because lies like these obscure the real issues.

Fast food nation (none / 0) (#126)
by eviltwin on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 07:40:32 PM EST

Is an excellent book and worth the read. It's also biased, one sided and aimed at a specific audience (new age,liberarians, friends of the earth and anti big business believers). Whilst i respect your decision i would caution you to never read anything by Naomi Wolff

God knows what you'd become if you did.

All generalisations are false, including this one.
[ Parent ]
We have a winner! (none / 0) (#128)
by Rezand on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 12:44:18 AM EST

(Though, the "bacon" that was eaten in England in the 12th century was actually 'pork' in general, and not the crispy bacon we know and love today.) What real issue is this article obscuring?

[ Parent ]
crispy goodness (5.00 / 1) (#129)
by funkapus on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 02:47:13 AM EST

Granted, bacon meant pig meat in general, but I suspect those English peasants figured out that the crispy stuff was tasty long before mass-marketing.

The real issue is that there are plenty of valid reasons to not eat meat, yet there are nutjobs and extremist organizations that resort to false propaganda and distortion of the facts to get people to become vegetarian. Not only is that deceitful and in my opinion unethical, it reduces the credibility of those who raise substantiated reasons to be vegetarian.

Extremists will tell you that humans are not meant to eat meat and that we can't digest it. Let's be honest here. Meat tastes good. Humans have canine teeth, and are omnivorous. Humans are capable of digesting meat. All these things are true, pseudo-scientific propaganda to the contrary.

So it drives me crazy that extremists float these ridiculous, easily disproven arguments when there are perfectly good, rational reasons to not eat meat. Some of those reasons are ethical, i.e. why cause an animal pain and suffering to sustain yourself when you can eat plants. Some of those reasons are environmental, i.e. land for cattle grazing reduces forested area and increases methane levels in the atmosphere. Some of those reasons are social, i.e. there are lots of people starving in the world, and meat is an incredibly inefficient food source because you have to feed a cow something like four times as many calories to raise it as you get out of it in the form of meat. Some of those reasons are medical, i.e. meat intake raises your risk of heart disease and colon cancer.

Clearly there are lots of good reasons to not eat meat, but for some reason people want to make it into a fricking holy war and be completely irrational about things. And when vegetarians act like idiots, it makes observers want to club a baby seal just to spite them. I don't blame them, either.

I'm starting to rant now, but I need to toss in one last thing. There are a number of problems that stem from consumption of meat, some which affect you on a personal level, some which affect us all on a global level. Many organizations that promote vegetarianism will give you the impression that you have to completely give up meat, or you're evil, which is total crap. Having that steak doesn't mean you're going to hell, and by the same token, if you reduce your consumption of meat without giving it up completely, you're at least helping to alleviate the problem.

'Nuff said.

[ Parent ]

What I want to know is... (3.00 / 1) (#122)
by btb on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:22:16 PM EST

Where can I get myself a bacon suit?

You bastard (3.66 / 3) (#124)
by eviltwin on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 07:32:54 PM EST

You made me want bacon for dinner last night with this story and now i want bacon again and its only 10.30am - damn you with your visions of crispy bacon......

All generalisations are false, including this one.
The Big Conspiracy... (4.66 / 3) (#127)
by bodrius on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:20:29 PM EST

Thousands of years ago, humans survived in good health and happiness by eating raw meat and a few vegetables. Unfortunately, an unscrupulous caveman discovered that by burning the meat and destroying most of the nutrients, he could feed his fellow cavemen with a more appealing meal that they would become addicted to very quickly.

Within a few generations, no human within his tribe ate the traditional raw meat. Rather, they would cook their meat, and even their vegetables, sometimes paying good teeth and fangs for a new recipe for their cooked meal.

Since that day, we have been dependent on the descendants of this guild of cooks and hunters. Just think about it! From that moment, all they had to do was to sit down and watch the cash flow in as all of mankind became dependent on fire, domesticated animals, and then spices, steam, gas, electricity, the whole of civilization built only to feed their greedy hands and our weak pallates!

And don't let me start about farmers and their agreecultur thing!

And by the way, we all know that the world financial system is actually a Templar Conspiracy, since they invented banks, checking accounts, credit and all that, right?

They invented it specifically to rule the world, so they would have their tentacles everywhere by the time they found the correct map to interpret the path of Foucault's Pendulum!

They just made their cash cow to finance their research on telurian forces and their plans of world domination.

Now, would someone tell me how the Big Bacon Conspiracy got to a front page? Culture includes Funny?
Freedom is the freedom to say 2+2=4, everything else follows...
I've ate raw steak before (4.00 / 1) (#135)
by BLU ICE on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 07:56:38 PM EST

It wasn't bad. If you just irradiated the meat beforehand, it would make a tasty, safe, and nutriotious meal. (Food irradiation does not make food dangerous to eat. It destroys a small fraction of the nutrients, but not nearly as much as cooking.)

"Is the quality of this cocaine satisfactory, Mr. Delorean?"
"As good as gold."

-- I am become Troll, destroyer of threads.
It's like an encyclopedia...sorta: Everything2

[ Parent ]

Bacon among us. | 136 comments (115 topical, 21 editorial, 0 hidden)
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