1. Can a person have a fulfilling life with so few relationships/friendships?
Not as you get older... I have found the most important things in my elderly family's lives are friends / relatives. Technology gets boring after a while, but sitting down and trying to figure out people is like contemplating Quantum Physics while drunk.
2. Is it "wrong" to not have the "common, normal" social standing one should have in this society?
"wrong?" lol! I have found that with most shy people ackwardness around people stems from an odd desire to not upset other people. Upset isn't quite the right word, but read on and hopefully it will become clear.
3. How do the super shy meet people, especially when they feel they have something to offer?
You need to stop caring so much. You can still care about other people, that's not what I mean. But you need to get some sort of realization of the meaninglessness of it all, or at least that the woman behind the counter won't be upset at you if you ask for half vanilla and half chocolate even if it isn't on the menu.
That's a little hard to do. Social drugs taken in very social settings seem to do the trick for some Kuro5hiners, judging by the postings to the front page. For others, near death experiences help. If you happen to find yourself in a relationship with a woman from latin america, consider yourself about to be cured...
If you have any burning passion that you can't bear the thought of letting down, you can always use the trick of "it / they need me to do this. It / they are expecting me to do this by talking to people. I cannot dissappoint it / them." It may be a goal, an ideal, a project... or best of all, a person such as your lifelong friend.
Actually, I think the other good thing to do is break a lot of laws / taboos. Set the goal of breaking one law per day, starting with the little ones and work your way up. Start with J-walking, screaming in public, climbing trees, going to the beach after dark, light drug use... Work your way up to walking into the back rooms of stores, petty theft, vandalism, public nudity... Remember, you probably have a clean record so you do get one get-out-of-jail free card. The point of this is not wanton anarchy. The point of this is to really feel how little of a taboo it is to call up a rental car company and ask them how much it costs per day. Or asking the waitress to take a salad back because you ordered a little italian dressing and it is covered in ranch. Or any of the other myriad of situations that are really orders of mangnitude less scary than interacting with a police officer.
And as I said, it really is safe... So long as you are a 20'something kid who looks honest and afraid, and has a clean record, you get your one get-out-of jail free card. However, nothing I recommended would really get you sent to jail (except for the drugs, but you can read my other comments for opinions on that).
Ah, and quest. Quests always help. Ask your relatives for some cash, abandon your stuff to a U-Store-It locker, and just walk the earth. Sleep outside, travel without owning a car, and get really dirty. This can be done in the US, or England, Japan, Vietnam... Wherever you choose to go is fine. But live without yourself for a month, or two. Experience something outside the comfort of your apartment. You will interact with other people, and you will expand as a human being. Most cultures up until ours required the young to voyage far from home to be considered a full human being... Maybe it is time for your odessey?
Anyway, I hope I haven't come across as a know-it-all, as I certainly don't. If you are having particular trouble being shy around women, as your previous posts and diary entries would suggest... I believe that the reason most people in relationships are considered more attractive than people who aren't is because they have nothing to gain and nothing to lose. If you just realize that you have no chance with, for instance, that Gym girl... you can always say "F-it, I can't win with her so I'm just going to have fun." And if you really accept that you have no chance with her, (and statistically, nobody gets a better than 1 in 100 chance anyway), you can find yourself entangled in interesting situations with more human contact than you thought possible.
Just some thoughts. E-mail me at silentchris [at] chriscanfield.net if you want to bounce some ideas back and forth... I'm still to some degree fighting with this myself. Though I'm happily winning the war, battles are still being fought.
- the used to be slient Chris
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