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[P]
Predictions for 2003

By jjayson in Culture
Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 07:59:20 AM EST
Tags: You Know... (all tags)
You Know...

It is time again for all the arm chair prognosticator, psychics, seers, and prophets to put their reputations on the line. It is time for predictions of the new 2003 year. But first, a look at some predictions from last year.


Chipuni, the author of last year's Predictions for 2002 story didn't fare too well. Microsoft didn't fence Linux out of market with encryption. Argentina's economic problems didn't have a huge impact on the world markets. No internet site broke an America coverup. A common guess by many was a Democratic win in Congress, but they were thoroughly battered by Republicans. And there wasn't another terrorist attack on American soil.

As for everybody else. You all must have bought your crystal balls at the 99 cent store. Trying to find anybody who made a correct prediction was very difficult.

joegee correctly predicted that bin Laden will not be found. He was close on predicting a major U.S. air carrier will fold, with the reorganization of US Airways. He failed miserably to hit his 80% goal.

Wondertoad correctly predicted that "the US will retain the backing of its international coalition while broadening the war on terrorism to at least one more country." However he only gets half credit because he thought that it would "probably not be Iraq."

qpt failed miserably at consummating his relationship with Jin Wicked, or so I hear.

About the only completely correct prediction was YesNoCancel predicting that 95% of all predictions will be wrong. So I will start the foolish navel gazing this year:

Economy

There will not be any new accounting scandals and nobody else from the Enron collapse will be indicted. Looking at how consumers are feeling this year, if I had to guess, I would say that first half of the year the markets will be uneventful and about break even, held down by uncertainty in Iraq. However, the second half of the year will have a modest rally because some of the uncertainty will be lifted (even if we are in a war).

North Korea

A no go. It will fizzle out by July. A diplomatic "solution" will be found. That is, we will mostly ignore them and they will mostly not push the nuclear issue anymore. UN inspectors and monitoring equipment will remain blacked out, though.

The Middle East

Going out on a limb, I don't think there will be a major war in the area. Looking into my muddy crystal ball, I see Iraq flinching and growing anti-war sentiment at home preventing anything major from happening.

Iran will face growing unrest, particularly from its university students. President Khatami will make another threat to step down, but will not actually go through with it, making his reformist presidency even weaker. At the end of the year, they will not have played any major part in world politics, but be slightly closer to rejecting the hard-line clerics.

In Israel, there will be another wave of suicide bombings. This time Yasser Arafat will be captured in the Ramallah compound and expelled from the area. Then it will be one happy, fluffy place. No, of course not. It won't change much.

Indo-Pak

The Kashmiri hot zone will have at least one more spark thrown from it. Fighting will erupt in the border area for a few days, but it will not spread. This will put pressure on General Musharraf from his own party, but he will follow US advice and stay a wider conflict, while still remaining in power. In India the BJP will draw public support from these attacks, calling them acts of terrorism, and there will be anti-Muslim violence because of it.

United States

Presidential support will be back down below 50% by mid year. There will be more whining, yelling, and crying wolf by people about new anti-terrorism legislation, but it will once again not bring about the police state that everybody predicts and the new laws will only be used a half a dozen times.

Barry Bonds will go yard more than 40 times again this year and get 150 walks. It will be the greatest three year span by any hitter, ever. All this while Bud Selig finds another ingenious way to hurt baseball (what do you mean no more kids in the dugout). Chris Carter will retire, again, after not catching enough touchdowns. However, the NFL will continue to be America's new passtime, as shown by even greter ratings next season. The Sacramento Kings will win the NBA finals, proving that Shaquille O'Neil is the biggest queen in the game. Yao Ming will become an absolute force in the league, and while the NBA gets even more youthful as LeBron James has only an average beginning to his rookie season.

And most importantly, Jenny and Ben Affleck will be divorced before the year ends.

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Poll
The worst prediction made.
o Nothing happens in North Korea 9%
o Nothing happens in Iraq 36%
o Nothing happens in Iran 0%
o Nothing happens to the economy 16%
o Arafat exiled by Israel 12%
o Some small sparks in Kashmir 3%
o Jenny and Ben are no more 11%
o Yao Ming has arrived! 7%

Votes: 101
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Prediction s for 2002
o joegee
o Wondertoad
o qpt
o YesNoCance l
o Also by jjayson


Display: Sort:
Predictions for 2003 | 223 comments (209 topical, 14 editorial, 0 hidden)
my predictions (4.00 / 7) (#5)
by godix on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 08:41:13 PM EST

"The will not be any new accounting scandels"

I go the opposite way. There will be some major companies going bankrupt this year. When the media/fed/stockholders investigate why they'll find some cooking of the books that wouldn't ever be a problem if the company hadn't gone bankrupt.

America will fight Iraq. It won't become a street to street urban warfare some fear, but it won't be the cakewalk others claim either. The war will boost Bushs support to almost post 9/11 levels. By the end of the year his numbers will have fallen to roughly the same as they are now.

During the second Iraq war Iraq will attempt to bomb Israel. Israel will retaliate against Iraq and also use the war as an excuse to crack down on Palestinians. The US will take Israels side, although there will be high level 'leaks' about how the US isn't happy with Israel. K5 will become almost unreadable by the influx of articles about Israel/Palestine (again).

The MPAA, RIAA, etc will still be pushing for DRM. They'll still fail miserably on getting a working technological solution and they'll still push for legal solutions instead. Geeks will still be bitching about their freedom, the average joe still won't have a clue about the issues involved.

There will another terrorist incident within America. It will be commited by an American, same as the snipper was.

I will have sex. It might even be with another person, I can only hope.


Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

.... and? (none / 0) (#150)
by kcbrown on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:51:03 PM EST

I go the opposite way. There will be some major companies going bankrupt this year. When the media/fed/stockholders investigate why they'll find some cooking of the books that wouldn't ever be a problem if the company hadn't gone bankrupt.
This may happen. But nothing at all will come of it, because people in the U.S. are now used to corporations "cooking" the books and other corporate shenanigans. The first time (Enron), it was a scandal because it was new and had such a huge impact on people's finances. The second time (Worldcom), it was a bad thing, but not terribly unexpected. But any additional instances will just be regarded as normal by the population, since they've had enough exposure to make such things part of the noise.

The effect on the stock market and the economy, however, may be significant. Such an event may be enough to push the stock market into irrelevance as anything but a means of gambling. The economic impact will probably be quite high, mainly as big investors finally realize that investing in U.S. corporations really is a game of Russian roulette and that other countries have corporations that are, perhaps, a bit more honest (and thus worthy of investing in).

Regardless, I expect the U.S. economy to continue its slow but steady spiral into the grave, as the only interesting things on the horizon to invest in are either highly regulated (biomed/biotech, transportation, etc. Look at personal aviation in the U.S. to see what to expect of a highly regulated industry. Expect any real R&D to happen overseas) or are viewed by the U.S. population as being morally dangerous (biomed/biotech).

[ Parent ]

Perhaps (3.00 / 1) (#153)
by godix on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:12:31 PM EST

Rather than one company causing a scandal I think the scandal will be how many companies are doing it. In the end it'll make little difference, people had a poor opinion of CEOs and large corperations before all this started and they'll continue to do so.

The stock market may be slightly hurt, but not majorly so. After all, what else is anyone with enough money to invest majorly going to do? There's only so much gold and government bonds to purchase ya know. The effects on the stock market are to the good actually, everyone knows that the stock market was way overblown in the dot com days, anything that delays it getting that overblown again is a good thing in the long run.

The US economy will recover, its already starting. There is just too much natural resources, too much capitalism, too much money floating around, and too many people used to their lifestyle for it to really tank. The days of day trading, huge IPOs, and get rich quick stock market schemes are over (and thank god for it) but that doesn't mean the economy is ruined.

Real R&D in biotech may happen overseas, but it'll be owned, patented, and sold by American companies. The fact that it is owned and patented (by anyone, not just Americans) will cause more problems than any 'morally dangerous' opinions floating around. Incidently, the EU isn't above the 'morally dangerous' mindset, look at their reaction to GE foods compared to the US.


Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

[ Parent ]

Yeah (none / 0) (#181)
by Stickerboy on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 04:59:27 PM EST

For the first time in a long while, the US public trusts Uncle Sam more than they trust Big Business.  I can't remember which magazine I read that poll in, but I think it was Time.

Anyways, I'm going to add my own economic prediction that Bush's proposed tax cut on stock dividends will be a political flop.  He's going to get hammered by the Demos for seeking a huge ($100 billion+ over 10 years) cut that helps mostly the upper two tax brackets.

[ Parent ]

Osama Bin Laden (none / 0) (#206)
by Eisernkreuz on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 04:34:35 AM EST

Of course Osama won't be showing up. The last news I had was that his position had been turned in, he had been snatched by our covert-ops boys in the mountains of Afghanistan, taken to the USA direct-flight top secret, and put in that base we have under that mountain.

And, he is worth more to the USA alive than dead. Dead, he is a martyr to Islamic murderers everywhere. Alive, well, let's say Osama can't lead many revolutions a mile underground in the USA. But, he sure can be convinced of the error of Islam and turn to Christ. THEN he will really be useful.

You won't be seeing any more REAL videos of Osama from much after 9/11, because that is when we went and got him. AND that is when the reward money suddenly jumped up to $25 million. It would have been just too plain obvious to shoot the reward up to $100 million. So we only increased it fivefold, because that would make us look good, and never cost us a cent.

I wonder why they never gave the person who turned him in that 5 million dollar reward, or even admitted that they got him. I figure Uncle Sam wanted to keep his 5 million dollars, under the guise of keeping it secret that they got Osama Bin Laden. A whole country using "national security" as a cloak for vice.

But, there is more information where that came from. And here it is:

They are still active in America. They are not sleeping, they are planning. They are gathering resources, picking targets, and burrowing ever deeper into cover. They are making experimental runs at experimental targets to do experimental scenarios to "sharpen the scimitar" for the final strike. Their aim is millions of deaths this time, not just hundreds. They have not newly awoken to a hatred of America, they have been incubating it like a maggot in a deep wound for a long, long time.

These people are out to get us. Don't mistake the lull we feel now for them being satisfied that they have done enough. There is Saudi oil money behind them, and they will push through. The saudis are not our friends. They are more a prostitute that has to put up with us or not get paid and that is what makes them hate us. Whether it is treated in the news media as a natural disaster or not, we shall see. But they are coming. And we won't be able to stop them. Unless...

[ Parent ]

The Future Report... (3.00 / 1) (#6)
by dagg on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 08:47:04 PM EST

Everyone is thinking about the future, now a days: The Future Report.
--
Find Yer Sex Gateway
like shooting ducks in a barrel (4.25 / 4) (#7)
by speek on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 08:58:20 PM EST

Personal:
The Return of the King, finale to the Lord of the Rings movies will be released. I'll go see it.

I will find a job this year.

K5 Related:
Rusty will post fewer diaries this year than last. Ditto blixco. trhurler will have at least a 3 month absence from K5 at some point. So will I (but I'm not trhurler). turmeric will post at least 5 stories that get dumped.

Technological:
Fewer than 5% of K5'ers will be using 64 bit processors by the end of the year. A human clone will be born (just keep saying this one till it happens). The ban on stem-cell research will be widely and blatantly ignored. They will not be challenged officially. You will hear reports of a cure for Parkinson's, but it won't be a cure, exactly, and it'll be based on stem-cell research, and it won't become available for around 5 years, assuming it passes FDA trials.

Social/Cultural:
The segway will be banned from the sidewalks of Boston and a few other cities. Oprah will gain weight. Oprah will lose weight. You will not care. T3 will not be as good as T2. You'll see previews for a 5th "Alien" movie.

Political:
The US won't invade Iraq. Bush's popularity will remain high (55%+).

Sports:
The current season's superbowl will feature Oakland vs San Francisco for a Bay-area-only contest. San Francisco will win. The following year, Philadelphia will win the superbowl. The Sacramento Kings will not win the NBA finals, but neither will the Lakers. Yao Ming will be a good center at best, but will get worn down and have a short career.

Economics:
I have no friggin' clue.

--
al queda is kicking themsleves for not knowing about the levees

Diaries? (5.00 / 1) (#43)
by rusty on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:23:14 AM EST

Perhaps I'll post fewer, but I will continue to maintain that they are better diaries than last year. ;-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
The US won't invade Iraq? (none / 0) (#75)
by Rogerborg on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:18:47 AM EST

Where will we put all the new tanks, bombs and guns Bush has ordered?  Dumping the old ones in Iraq is cheaper than disposing of them safely.  And those arms manufacturers have families to support.  Won't someone think of the children?

"Exterminate all rational thought." - W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

but it's bad timing (none / 0) (#78)
by speek on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:40:31 AM EST

If Bush wants the war to propel him into a second term, he's got to stall it till 2004. That is, unless he's planning on doing Iraq this year, and Iran the next. I hadn't thought of that when I wrote my post....

--
al queda is kicking themsleves for not knowing about the levees
[ Parent ]

Bush will invade Iraq this year. (none / 0) (#141)
by InThane on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 06:24:52 PM EST

He's saving North Korea for the election year. Scary thought, huh?
"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens that, whatever you say to them they always purr." - Lewis Carrol
[ Parent ]
very scary (none / 0) (#148)
by speek on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:14:03 PM EST

Any thought of military action in N. Korea scares me far more than Iraq.

--
al queda is kicking themsleves for not knowing about the levees
[ Parent ]

Hmm (none / 0) (#174)
by Rogerborg on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 07:53:08 AM EST

By which time he's dumped the obsolescent munitions on Iraq, and has the new ones ready for the more serious threat of North Korea.  My Cynicism Sense is tingling...

"Exterminate all rational thought." - W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

Eenie meeny, chili beanie! (4.00 / 4) (#8)
by IHCOYC on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 09:02:40 PM EST

My predictions for 2003:

There will be a major earthquake in Japan.

The next Pope will be from south of the Equator.

A destructive hurricane will strike the southeastern coast of the USA.

There will be a widely publicised diet or food contamination scare that will later turn out to be either overblown or a hoax.

A volcano will erupt along the shores of the Pacific Ocean.

There will be another media scare involving threats of harm to children. This too will prove to be either overblown or a hoax.

The Middle East will remain a turbulent and violent region, even if the U.S. invades Iraq.

A major American fundamentalist leader will announce an interpretation of Biblical prophecy that claims that Armageddon and the Second Coming are imminent.

Grais ingenium, Grais dedit ore rotundo
Musa loqui, præter laudem nullius auaris. . .

     --- Horace

how about hearing the suggestion that... (3.00 / 1) (#14)
by jdrake on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 09:55:12 PM EST

Bush is the third antichrist :-)
-----------------------------------------
- If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around, is there any sound?
- If the universe is created, and nobody is around, is there any bang?

[ Parent ]
hmmm (none / 0) (#25)
by postindustrialist on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 11:25:31 PM EST

biblical prohpecies? if you mean tabloid sorta prophecy, that's not much of a prediction, if ya mean we'll hear something of the sort noteworthy enough for CNN or such to report on it (if at least nough to shrug it off) then perhaps that'll be interesting to see happen
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
My predictions (4.07 / 14) (#9)
by Meatbomb on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 09:14:45 PM EST

Korea

There will be a cruise missile attack to take out PyongYang's nuclear capability, a short but very violent war, followed by the implosion of the regime in the North. The new united Korea will blame the tragic outcome on lack of US discretion and foresight. US troops will be withdrawn in late 2003/early 2004.

The Economy

The Kyrgyz economy will continue to stumble along, not making any substantial progress but also not overly effected by what occurs elsewhere in the world.

Middle East

Yassir will still be in Palestine, although his role will be reduced as he is slowly replaced by younger leaders.

There wil be a war in Iraq, and installation of a pro-US regime.

Turkish actions in Northern Iraq will bring the Kurdish issue to the world media's attention, but only for a limited time.

The war in Afghanistan will heat up. There will be stepped up guerilla attacks against US and other Western civillians, with outlying provinces openly declaring their opposition to the Kabul regime.

The United States

<flamebait>Who the fuck cares?</flamebait>

The Internet

K5 will continue to stumble along, not making any substantial progress but also not overly effected by what occurs elsewhere in the world. The frequency of "This place has gone so downhill, I'm off to [different site]." diaries will remain constant.

BONUS PREDICTION: at least one American will stop reading this post at the section on the US, to either mod this comment down or post a knee-jerk "We're the best and most important effin country on the planet" reply.

_______________

Good News for Liberal Democracy!

Heh (3.75 / 8) (#13)
by vile on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 09:52:02 PM EST

We're the best and most important effin country on the planet!

~
The money is in the treatment, not the cure.
[ Parent ]
heh (3.85 / 7) (#24)
by postindustrialist on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 11:19:56 PM EST

GOD DAMNED STRAIGHT WE"RE THE BEST DAMNED COUNTRY ON THIS PLANET!!! USA IS HOW I SPELL #1!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE DEPORTED FOR THINKING OTHERWISE!!! GOD DAMN LIBERAL HIPPIES!!!! WE"RE IN A WAR AND ALL YOU CN DO IS BITCH AND COMPLAIN!!! KILL ALL OTHER NATIONS CAUSE THE US IS THE BEST!!!







this bit of sarcasm was brought to you today on behalf of the united wiseasses association.
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
Huh?? (4.14 / 7) (#10)
by FlightSimGuy on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 09:19:03 PM EST

Barry Bonds will go yard more than 40 times again this year and get 150 walks. It will be the greatest three year span by any hitter, ever. All this while Bud Selig finds another ingenious way to hurt baseball (what do you mean no more kids in the dugout). The Sacramento Kings will win the NBA finals, proving that Shaquille O'Neil is the biggest queen in the game. Yao Ming will become an absolute force in the league, and while the NBA gets even more youthful as LeBron James has only an average beginning to his rookie season.

Huh? Who are these people? What are you talking about? I thought this was a geek site..

LeBron (3.66 / 3) (#15)
by Psycho Les on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 10:13:49 PM EST

Was the singer of Duran Duran.

[ Parent ]
that's simon lebon, not lebron (n/t) (3.66 / 3) (#31)
by zephc on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:20:30 AM EST



[ Parent ]
SIr (3.66 / 3) (#71)
by Psycho Les on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:41:43 AM EST

Fix your joke-detector.  It seems to be broken.

[ Parent ]
Lebon wore his war wound like a crown. (3.66 / 3) (#84)
by jmzero on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:07:00 AM EST


.
"Let's not stir that bag of worms." - my lovely wife
[ Parent ]
Cricket players (4.00 / 4) (#16)
by regeya on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 10:19:53 PM EST


[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]
[ Parent ]

I don't understand how people think... (4.31 / 22) (#11)
by Jizzbug on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 09:37:51 PM EST

...that the current state of the economy right now has anything at all to do with Iraq.  The markets were falling hard before 9/11.  The markets fell harder after 9/11.  The markets fell again with war in Afghanistan.  Now the latest weapon of mass distraction is Iraq...  And I can't believe so many people are buying it hook, line, and sinker.

I was talkin' with muh girliefran's dad today.  And he was talkin' about his theories that he just wants us to hurry up and do whatever we're gonna do in Iraq so that the markets can recover.  First of all, the only people that I see in every day life worryin' about Iraq are the ones that would worry about the stock market.  Second of all, if the markets are gonna go back up after Iraq regardless, why don't they just get that through their thick skulls now and beat the markets to the punch.  I mean, if everyone is so certain the pending war in Iraq is the root of our current economic problems, why doesn't everybody just assume we're already at war (because we already are: bombing in Iraq has gone up 300% recently [what, you didn't know that we haven't stopped bombing Iraq since the Gulf War?])?

Oh well, people will always fall for the charades, I suppose.

I wonder when people will start to realize that maybe the problem with the economy might be due to internal issues.  Like maybe how 1% of the population owns 50% of the wealth of this nation, how the gap between rich and poor is the greatest is ever been.  Or maybe how the total debt of our nation is 274% above the GDP of our nation, how the total debt is higher than it's ever been.  Or maybe how there's a consistent and demonstrable trend of Third-Worldization of America's economy over the last 20 to 25 years.  Or maybe it has something to do with how 25 years ago 80% of foreign exchange transactions had to do with conducting business in the real economy and 20% had to do with currency speculation, while today 2.5% of foreign exchange transactions have to do with conducting business in the real economy and 97.5% are speculative.  Or maybe it has something to do with all this shit and more all rolled into one and ignored for far too long.  How long can we continue to ignore the internal problems with the overall equation?

I say unto you: one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. I say unto you: you still have chaos in yourselves.
 -- Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra: A Book for All and None

If you have time, (3.71 / 7) (#77)
by 5150 on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:37:45 AM EST

I think that you are onto a front page article. It would be nice to see where you are getting your numbers.

[ Parent ]
I agree, but (3.00 / 5) (#114)
by br14n on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:32:53 PM EST

I agree with the gist of your ideas, but please don't trot out the tired old stuff about the gap between rich and poor like it's some kind of perverse disparity. I mean, the gap between anything and absolutely any other thing is the greatest it's ever been, due to the expanding nature of the ideosphere or whatever you want to call it.

[ Parent ]
Economics (3.66 / 3) (#124)
by jmzero on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:20:20 PM EST

is a complicated subject.  It's easy to come up with numbers, and very hard to say what they really mean (and harder again to transform that information into policy decisions).  

Stock prices are an interesting thing in a minefield of interesting things.  Stock prices lately change not just with expectations, but with expectations of expectations.  You may realize that AQJA is not suddenly worth 10% less because there could be a war with Iraq (or because they missed expectations by 1/4 cent).  Most investors may realize that.  But many of them think that they are smarter than everyone, and that everyone else will panic sell once the bombs start falling.  Which they do pre-emptively, so as to avoid the big panic sell.  And who cares anyway - it's not like share price is tied to crazy stuff like asset values or dividends.

I can't stomach the thought of investing in stocks right now.  You're not taking bets on company performance anymore, you're taking bets on expectations and mood and interest.  And expectations of interest mood performance.  It's like you're buying company trading cards.
.
"Let's not stir that bag of worms." - my lovely wife
[ Parent ]

Predictions, because I have nothing better to do: (4.33 / 3) (#17)
by evilpenguin on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 10:23:53 PM EST

My replies:

Economy
Things will continue to be dismal, but not quite as bleak. Like the man who rationalized unemployment this Christmas by saying: "now I can spend all day in the mall!", the economy will be in the shitter but less people will notice. I cannot back this up; I guess my glass (toilet bowl in this case) is half empty.

More importantly, I predict that I shall somehow find a job. Yay, not eating ramen.

North Korea
NPR and the other major US news outlets will stop mentioning it in a few months (unless something outrageous happens), hence anyone making reference to it thereafter will be accused of being a beater of dead horses, etc.

The Middle East
Stuff. You know.

Indo-Pak
See above.

United States
There will be new anti-terrorism legislaton which will go unchallenged by the masses or any politician from a major party. Baaaa. Baaaaa. That's the sound a sheep makes. On that note, I have no idea what the hell will happen with sports.

But wait, there's more!

Movies
LoTR:RoTK will make a lot of money. Peter Jackson will release two editions of TTT just as he did with FoTR, and I will end up buying both (again). RoTK will be hailed by critics and movie-goers alike, but will probably plant a shred of discontent in the pendants who cry every time PJ takes liberties with the plot.

The Matrix: Whatever We Called It To Sound More Cool Than Just "Matrix 2" will suck. I don't know why, but I just have a bad feeling about this one. The whole bullet-time thing is totally cliche'd, what more can they do? Surely one doesn't watch The Matrix for its excellent plot and shots of Keanu muttering "whoa!" Prove me wrong.

Meta
This story will probably reach the front page (the present author voted as such). A lot of people in this story will make far-fetched, dubious, unrealistic, self-serving, mindless predictions. Some may materialise -- the percentage depends upon how many are correct, divided by the total number of predictions and multiplied by 100.

--
# nohup cat /dev/dsp > /dev/hda & killall -9 getty
hmmm (none / 0) (#22)
by postindustrialist on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 11:10:57 PM EST

i agree with all except for the last one and that's because its only got twenty votes for and it's still falling. i hope to be wrong though. the matrix 2 is already shittier than it ever could be. some things should be left alone, however computerboy on ifilms.com (or is it dot net.. haven't visited in a while so there's no link) will STILL make me laugh my ass off. i also think that the lord of the rings trilogy gettinbg good reviews is a given. more $$$$ = better reviews= viewers will agree. (sorry but it's almost always this case. i didn't like the series when i tried to read it, and i think the movie is both too long in some parts and doesn't go into enough depth in others. it could have been done ALOT better. but then again i think tolkien could have written it alot better...) as with the middle east, more of the same. nothing will REALLY get done. it'll be handled just like bush's father did.
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
Gaw! (none / 0) (#76)
by evilpenguin on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:22:46 AM EST

I was right.  Front page!
--
# nohup cat /dev/dsp > /dev/hda & killall -9 getty
[ Parent ]
ACK! (none / 0) (#157)
by postindustrialist on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:15:32 PM EST

*bows down to the all knowing malevolent resident of antartica* you were, any other predictions? ^_^
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
The Matrix (none / 0) (#108)
by Fon2d2 on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:20:46 PM EST

I agree with you. The Matrix probably will suck. It will most likely veer away from its predecessor as a hard hitting film noir about the nature of humanity and our current culture. It would be very hard to achieve the popularity of the first movie again, unless it proved that it had more to show us, and more for us to think about. Otherwise it will just be a lame action flick. But there is hope as I see it. There are some pretty bad plot devices in the first movie that could be reworked into major plot twists. For example, using humans as batteries makes absolutely no sense. The fact that it makes no sense is glossed over with the most cursory of explanations. It could be suddenly discovered that the machines have a different, much more powerful power source, and are using the latent computational capacity of everybodys' brains. That in turn could lead to many more plot devices. There are possibilities. It's just a question of whether they take advantage of them.

[ Parent ]
I have hope for the Matrix... (none / 0) (#127)
by curunir on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:01:58 PM EST

I'm not so sure that it will lose its noir edge.

For example, the film makers conducted an extensive search for a section of freeway that had the "sinister" quality that they were looking for. They didn't find it. So they ended up building a 2 mi looped highway that looked just the way they wanted it to. It was much more expensive than shutting down a real freeway, but aparently the freeway scenes are unlike any ever put to film before.

The plot will be just as thin as it was in the first film...just enough to allow the movie to be cool in all the ways that the first one was. This is the only thing I'm pretty sure of since it's already been leaked...something about the computers figuring out the location of zion and a frantic search for some "key maker"...sounded pretty underwhelming.

But the overall impression that I've gotten from everything I've read has been that the film makers spent a lot of time and a lot of money trying to achieve the exact look that they wanted. Both "Bound" and the first "Matrix" movie were great that way, so that gives me hope that they'll be able to do it again. They've said that they've gone beyond "bullet time" (since it had been done to death) and developed new techniques that result in images that are unlike any ever seen before (the same way "bullet time" was back when the first film came out.)

It's that kind of stuff that gives me hope that it will be cool.

[ Parent ]
my predictions (4.00 / 6) (#18)
by postindustrialist on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 10:42:20 PM EST

hmmm my predictions. 1. the stocvk market will fall once again and we will be calling it a depression and not a resession this time. probably not in 2003 but before 2010

2. Bush will exploit his popularity to push other previous goals of his that wouldn't fly during the first few months of his term. (trust me, invasion of privacy is now legal? that's only the fucking beginning. he WILL cut AIDS research and race relations and generally fuck over this country more than he already has.)

3. this war in afghanistan will blow over eventually. it's already wearing thin, but another "war" or political threat will be unveiled in a very 1984-esque way. (i believe that book to be closer to the truth now than ever thought possible) 4. i say that probably three or four new electric or electric hybrid cars will enter the market. they will all fail miserably. it's like picking up dog droppings in the park, everyone likes the concept of alternative energy, but nobody's willing to do it unless its absolutely nescesary.

5. i see at least three independant films not sucking and making it to the big screen nationwide.not much of a prophecy, i know but i need to boost my percentage somehow..:P

6. sales in the arts (music and literature) will fall, yet sticter measures wil be taken to prevent ripping mp3s off of CDs. people no longer read, but instead wait for the movie. stephen king will release a new book or two, they'll do well, not because people read it, but because his fans want to have a complete series. trust me, if they read it, they'd agree he sucks.

7. i see minimum wage being raised again either this year or next. not by much though. maybe an extra two bits(a quarter) or so.

8.i see indian cuisine becoming popular for a little while in the US but not with much of an impact. (this is just a wild guess)

9.prices for DSL and cable will drop. numbers will drop significantly in dial up, and more people than ever will own a PC and be connected. (went into walmart during the Xmas season and i live in new jersey. [in other words, east coast, the state with one of the highest overall cost of living.) and they were selling comuter systems that beat mine for around $600. if ya could deal with half my memory, you could go for one that STILL beat mine for proscessing speed at $450)a more long distance prediction is that by 2020 then US will be a true postindustrial nation and its ecponomy will be based on mainly the exchange of information.

10.at least two MAJOR businesses or corporations NOBODY would think of going bankrupt will. it'll be on CNN and probably not the front page, but in section A of your local newpaper (bush will OWN the front page. and if not him, some serial killer or a school shooting or other sensationalist news article will be like usual.. there's a good chance it'll hit front pages, but i'm not going to say that it will.)

and that's about it.
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
PCs (5.00 / 2) (#28)
by DarkZero on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 11:54:56 PM EST

9.prices for DSL and cable will drop. numbers will drop significantly in dial up, and more people than ever will own a PC and be connected. (went into walmart during the Xmas season and i live in new jersey. [in other words, east coast, the state with one of the highest overall cost of living.) and they were selling comuter systems that beat mine for around $600. if ya could deal with half my memory, you could go for one that STILL beat mine for proscessing speed at $450)a more long distance prediction is that by 2020 then US will be a true postindustrial nation and its ecponomy will be based on mainly the exchange of information.

I could be wrong here, as I don't know what your specs are and you did not mention what specific PC you were looking at, but chances are that that computer would not actually beat yours. That is, unless your motherboard has 4 PCI slots, no AGP slots, doubles as your PC's 4MB video card, and is powered by a sub-200W power supply.

The vast majority of these $400-$600 computers from Dell and most major retailers advertise a very fast processor, a decent amount of RAM, a decent hard drive, and the newest and shiniest drive on the market, but usually fail to mention that they aren't upgradable and that you will rarely find a program that requires a 2ghz processor, but only a 4MB video card.

[ Parent ]

!@#$% (don't ya hate coming up with titles?) (none / 0) (#36)
by postindustrialist on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:29:20 AM EST

lol.. true enough.. mine's rather nicely upgradable, but i only have a 900mhz AMD processor, a rather nice, yet inexpensive motherboard, a 20 GB hard drive that's blown to shit, my video card's a bit old and it takes five minutes from the time i flip the on switch to the time bios kicks on. it's only got 256 MB RAM but it's such shitty RAM that i get frequent messages telling me its having problems with dumping the memory. it's not such a bad computer, but it's not reliable...and it's not quality i'm talking about when it comes to more people getting the machines, it's the cost that matters to them and the cost is dropping... the machines are good enough to meet their most basic needs (like i said, mines starting to give me problems but i can't afford yet another upgrade [it doesn't have any of the original parts, but this a year and a half ago this thing had run on a 330 cyrix chip:P]) and people will be willing to buy them and will be able to hook up to the net somehow.. expect more billy bob and joe bob and billy joe's from the middle of nowhere arkansas to appear...
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
Your sports predictions (3.66 / 3) (#23)
by skim123 on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 11:16:12 PM EST

The Sacramento Kings will win the NBA finals, proving that Shaquille O'Neil is the biggest queen in the game. Yao Ming will become an absolute force in the league, and while the NBA gets even more youthful as LeBron James has only an average beginning to his rookie season.

I agree that the Kings will win, against the Pacers in 5 or 6 is my guess. However, this is no slap in the face to Shaq, IMO, he is still the best player and will be as long as he doesn't let his toe slow him down too much. He is clearly the greatest basketball player in the NBA now. And, yes, it's all because of his anamalous size, and not because he has amazing talent or high basketball IQ.

And Yao Ming? He will be the man in the years to come, and will make Houston a respectable team, but I think he will not make the leap for at least another year to two. He is playing great, yes, but he is running on fumes, I'd wager. Also, I hear he has to go back to China and work with their national team at the season's end. Can't a brother get no rest?

I'll tell you this: the next few years will be exciting ones in the Western Conference. Yes, I think the Kings are going to carry it this year, but I think the Mavs will get a lot of confidence this postseason, and the Rockets will continue to develop as Ming develops, and who knows, if the Spurs make some smart off-season moves they may be a force to reckon with come the 2003-2004 season. Plus, if the Lakers' Buss will actually spend on par with the Mavs, Kings, and Trail Blazers, and pick up some real talent in the offseason, that, plus the motivation of getting booted early from the playoffs (yes, I think they'll make the playoffs), will help rally the Lakers for next year.

Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master.
PT Barnum


Show Some NBA Pac-10 Love (3.00 / 2) (#32)
by jjayson on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:20:50 AM EST

The Nets will beat the Pacers, but I might be biased (and they did win this year's only head-to-head matchup so far easily).

And my boy Yao is just a monster already. He leads his team in rebounds, blocks, and field goal percantage. I rember his horrible first game and had some doubts, but the boy has serious skills (including some great passing from the post). Houston doesn't even run their offense through him, just wait until they start running plays just for Yao. He's getting good double doubles, and he even shoot free throws! Sir Charles had to kiss an ass on national TV because of my boy. (Here is a funny Ralph Wiley article on Yao)

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Jordan will lead the Wizards to a playoff berth.
_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]

Jordan (5.00 / 1) (#209)
by skim123 on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 11:36:15 PM EST

Having grown up in Chicago during the Bulls first three championships, I seriously hope Jordan can kick some serious ass this year and get his team to the playoffs and get past the first round, but I am not so certain his body will hold up. Have you seen the minutes he's been putting in lately? 53 minutes in a double-OT win against the Pacers? And he's been putting right around 38-40 minutes these past few weeks. The dude's what, 39? 40? That's a lot of wear and tear to put on a body, and he's no John Stockton endurance-wise, I'm afraid.

The Nets will beat the Pacers

Maybe, based on their experience from last year, but I think the Pacers are much deeper. In any event, I hope the Nets and Pacers get to go at it during the postseason. After last year's playoff series, it's bound to be fun to watch.

Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master.
PT Barnum


[ Parent ]
Me too! Me too! (4.25 / 5) (#27)
by El Volio on Wed Jan 01, 2003 at 11:50:59 PM EST

  • I will buy a house. (OK, so I'm starting off easy).
  • There will be sustained military action in Iraq, to which the US population will respond with a giant "Meh".
  • The economy will continue to fizzle, not entering a depression but not recovering either.
  • There will be a major terrorist attack, but it won't be in the US. It will be in a developed nation in Europe or Asia, or possibly Australia.
  • George Lucas will announce that Episode V: Fall of the Jedi will be released a year early, in May 2004. (Hey, I can dream, can't I?)
  • At least one US cabinet member or senior administration official will resign.
  • Jesse Jackson will say something stupid and be publicly ridiculed for about a week while we all remember his name — then we'll forget about him again.
  • For better or worse, we won't be hearing too much from Al Gore anymore.
  • There will be a total reworking of US immigration policy, favorable to immigrants from nearby, friendly nations (mostly Latin America and possibly Europe), but somewhat biased against Arabs and possibly South Asians.
  • SGI will, for all intents and purposes, go under. It will sell its chip business to a big player, probably IBM.
  • Substantial portions of the DMCA and the PATRIOT Act will be overturned in court. It won't matter.
  • And my most fool-proof prediction of the year... another major security flaw in IIS will be found.
There, that was fun.

heh (3.00 / 2) (#30)
by postindustrialist on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:06:39 AM EST

the star wars thing i think ya might be right on.. just a weird feeling..:P
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
US will invade Iraq (4.75 / 4) (#29)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:03:45 AM EST

I think most Americans want it and expect it. Bush will oblige. The war won't help the economy like everyone thinks it will.

We'll take out Hussein and occupy with little incident. The government will hum and haw about converting Iraq to a democracy because it would be expensive and take a while. This might not all happen within a year, by the way. We'll hear the conservative pundits floating the idea of putting in a "benevolent" dictator who would bring order to the region. Americans will be sick of being in Iraq by now since the war hadn't stimulated the economy. So a puppet regime will be installed and the media will tell us to be proud of performing the thankless of world's policeman. Anyway, we'll have new bad guys to fight by then.

Happy New Year K5!

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour

war helping the economy (none / 0) (#35)
by jjayson on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:25:46 AM EST

I don't think anybody expect the war to help the economy. The uncertainty however does to be preventing a rally from building. People are holding off on their investments until they know what is going to happen. Any positive effects felt would just be because of a lifing of the uncertainty and people will know what sqaure to place their bets on.
_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]
I know lots of people who think that (none / 0) (#40)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:08:23 AM EST

The theory, that I don't agree with, is that war is good for industry and it stimulates the economy.

They think that because World War II really does seem to have helped the economy. Also, a recession ended during the Vietnam war, but I think that's a coincidence.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]

Big wars seems to be good... (5.00 / 1) (#135)
by jjayson on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:34:06 PM EST

With a big war, there is rebuildind to do somewhere in that world and US corporations (either at home or abroad) will get a good chuck of that market. Or the other way that seems to be true is weapon production. During the Cold War we were investing alot in military technology and building weapon systems. The technology spilled out into the private sector. However, with these small wars those don't seem to apply. Take the first Gulf War as an example. Before the military buildup, the market was rising. Then during the buildup it dipped with few issues bought and dols. Immediately after the attack, the market jumped 20%. The best conclusion I can draw from such a complicated picture is that people were holding out on taking an investment position because they didn't know what position to take. After the war started people knew where to place their bets and the increased buying (from months of holding out) pushed the market up.

Who knows, though.
_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]

some people will get rich(er) (5.00 / 2) (#45)
by kpaul on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:33:52 AM EST

it's making some people money - the people who make the bombs and bullets and bodybags and what not.

would be interesting if someone thoroughly researched who's gonna make the most money off the impending war...


2014 Halloween Costumes
[ Parent ]

mutual funds (none / 0) (#57)
by adiffer on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:01:37 AM EST

If stocks move up, most everyone with a 401K investment in the US will benefit.  Last I heard, if you combine them with people who make direct investment in the market, it is about half the working force.

Welcome to the modern age.  Whether it is bombs and bullets or bread and butter, we can all profit.

-Dream Big.
--Grow Up.
[ Parent ]

Very true (none / 0) (#61)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:11:57 AM EST

Military spending is often thinly veiled corporate welfare. It really is good for the economy in the short term, but it diverts money from the programs which promote long-term economic health.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
45% think it will hurt . . . (none / 0) (#122)
by slippytoad on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 02:40:22 PM EST

. . . according to a poll I saw on CNN not long ago. It was in the screen-crawl, so there were no attributions and I'm not going to bother tracking it down. I personally think it won't help, and it's not going to be helping Bush's poll numbers to be dIstRAQted by a made-up threat while real people who vote are still looking for jobs.
If I were the al Qaeda people right now I would be planning a lot of attacks in the next few days and weeks -- John "Bring 'em On" McCain
[ Parent ]
strange how this works... (none / 0) (#134)
by jjayson on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:21:48 PM EST

Many times the polls on Bloomberg and other financial information services are made up of people that buy and sell stock, i.e., people that would affect the economy. However, they are almost always wrong. I still don't understand how that works.
_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]
Why would investors reveal their thinking? (5.00 / 1) (#154)
by kcbrown on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:20:06 PM EST

Many times the polls on Bloomberg and other financial information services are made up of people that buy and sell stock, i.e., people that would affect the economy. However, they are almost always wrong. I still don't understand how that works.
You don't think the respondents tell you what they really think, do you?

[ Parent ]
Not Sure (5.00 / 2) (#39)
by bugmaster on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:02:39 AM EST

While what you say is true, I am not sure what will actually happen. People's opinions aside, it seems that it is more politically advantageous to maintain the "war is imminent" atmosphere, as compared to actually going to war. If we are about to go to war with the evil, conniving, nasty terrorist dictator, does it not make sense to prepare ? By, say, creating a system to spy on everyone effectively ? Or by relaxing due process ? Or... etc. A lot of bills could be pushed through this way -- but only while we are still "preparing" for the big battle.
>|<*:=
[ Parent ]
Maybe you're right (5.00 / 1) (#41)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:11:22 AM EST

but I don't think we can hold a war is imminent attitude forever. The American people will want a conclusion if anti-Iraq senitiment is successfully drummed up.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
not all... (4.00 / 2) (#44)
by kpaul on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:31:33 AM EST

of us USians want it. ;)

I don't think we should. It's about oil and that's not right. Pre-emptive is not the road to go down, imho.

Sorry if you don't agree! (a pre-emptive apology...)


2014 Halloween Costumes
[ Parent ]

Call me now for your free reading! (3.00 / 2) (#34)
by buck on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:24:35 AM EST

I just have a couple predictions:

- Dubya will announce he's running for a second term as president.
- Either or both of Tom Daschle (Senator - South Dakota) or Dick Gephardt (Congressman - Missouri) will run for the Democratic party nomination for president.

-----
“You, on the other hand, just spew forth your mental phlegmwads all over the place and don't have the goddamned courtesy to throw us a tissue afterwards.” -- kitten

Leon (2.33 / 3) (#38)
by jvcoleman on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:42:44 AM EST

will be getting larger.

2003 Predictions (4.00 / 4) (#42)
by FuzzyOne on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:19:11 AM EST

Amid a flurry of stern looks and suppressed smirks, George W. Bush will announce on Jan 27 that he has decided that the perpetual threat of war against Iraq is a better policy both domestically and internationally than an actual pursuit of a shooting war. He will, however, reserve the right to lob the occasional Tomahawk missile onto some target of opportunity in Iraq to keep the pressure applied. Effectively, this will become a new kind of cold war doctrine against rogue states: passive-aggressive containment. Asked to distinguish this doctrine from what Clinton did for 8 years, some rightwing pundit will inadvertently slip the word "blowjob" into an explanation on a Fox News talk show, earning a two-week ban from the Fox circuit. Later in the year after the dust settles, this same pundit will be hosting a nightly show on Fox News.

The US stock market will finish higher by 12%, and interest rates will finally rise again from the historic lows of 2002.

Dumb and Dumberer, the prequel to Dumb and Dumber will be tops at the box office for at least one week in May. Leno, Letterman and Conan O'Brien will all associate this movie as part of a Dubya joke, within the same week of shows in mid-May.

Due to continuing fallout from Enron, additional damning information linking Vice President Dick Cheney and his secret energy policy meetings will emerge, indirectly causing Cheney to bow out of a 2004 Vice Presidential run as the stench gets too close to the President. Seeking to enhance the newfound anti-racist image of the GOP, the Bush camp will seek big media play for Bush's interviews of suitable African-American candidates including Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, and J.C. Watts. Ultimately, Bush will narrow the field to a number of white guys: Jeb Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, Tom Ridge and Rudy Giuliani Ultimately, he decides who he'll run with in a surprise announcement at the 2004 convention of his selection. (See next year's predictions for the answer.)

Bullshit. (1.00 / 3) (#49)
by toy on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:22:08 AM EST

That is all bullshit.




My buddies



[ Parent ]
Wouldn't be the first "blowjob" slip at (5.00 / 1) (#83)
by FourDegreez on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:04:56 AM EST

That would be here. Note the visual (ice cream cone) that matches with Shepard Smith's slip of the tongue. What was on his perverted mind, eh??

I don't think he saw a two-week ban. =P

[ Parent ]
I predict (3.33 / 6) (#47)
by Pinkerton Floyd on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 02:17:05 AM EST

You're gonna take a walk in the rain
And you're gonna get wet
(I predict)

You're gonna eat a bowl of chow mein
And be hungry real soon
(I predict)
Are my sources correct
(I predict)
They're gonna find the Queen is a man
But that Philip don't care
(I predict)
Lassie will prove that Elvis and her
Had a fleeting affair
(I predict)
Are my sources correct
Are my sources correct
Yes I know they're correct
(I predict)

Men, if you say your prayers
You'll never lose your hair

L.A. is safe
Ain't gonna quake
Ain't gonna quake
(I predict)

And somebody's gonna die
But I can't reveal who
Cold beer will cure a cold
Cold beer and pretzels, takes care of cancer
Moscow will march to France
They'll do the Can-Can Dance
Don't worry, it'll work out
Maxim's will throw them out

They're gonna stop Saturday night
So you better have fun now
(I predict)
They're gonna stop having the sun
So you better get tan now

And this song will fade out
And this song will fade out
And this song will fade out
(I predict)


Music and lyrics by Ron and Russell Mael
Originally recorded by Sparks

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun.

BTW (2.33 / 3) (#53)
by Pinkerton Floyd on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:29:29 AM EST

There's a good cover of this at http://www.collider.com/mp3/misc/lofi/i_predict.mp3 if you're interested.

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun.
[ Parent ]

My Predictions for 2003 (4.37 / 8) (#48)
by mideast on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:04:39 AM EST

The average IQ of Kuro5hin's users will continue to fall, from its current level of 90.

The current trend of story and comment authors knowing less and less, about the subjects that they are writing about, will continue.

The percentage of incorrectly sectioned political op-eds, posted to the front page, will increase past 80%. In an attempt to combat this problem, rusty will create several new sections: Definitive Facts; Truth; and Bush, the Unelected President of the United States, Is a Baby-Killer Moron. These new sections will be blackholes.

Angrydot will get its third and final real user.

After an expose gets posted expressing outrage over the four month old blackhole sections, rusty will promise to fix the problem. Instead of dumping them outright, the stories will be subjected to simulated voting and editorial processes utilizing a random number generator, aspell, and some generic comment templates.

As Kuro5hin continues to attract more users, of increasingly lesser quality, another website will emerge as the next haven for refugees of the 100+ IQ crowd.

That/those site(s) already exists (3.40 / 5) (#51)
by Pinkerton Floyd on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:25:07 AM EST

One only needs to register now at GiZ or SRU the new K5, Crapdot, and Aq all rolled into two...

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun.
[ Parent ]

hmmmm... yeah (4.00 / 4) (#69)
by SanSeveroPrince on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:33:37 AM EST

as can be clearly seen here

----

Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think


[ Parent ]
Don't knock it (3.00 / 4) (#79)
by Big Dogs Cock on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:41:16 AM EST

There's some pretty insightful people posting there. Check out the first post on that one.

People say that anal sex is unhealthy. Well it cured my hiccups.
[ Parent ]
they sell computers with 128m of ram? (3.00 / 2) (#50)
by pgdn on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:23:17 AM EST

Wow. 256 isn't even enough to comfortably run XP on this laptop. And I intentionally bought the cheapest laptop I could find (earlier this year, 1ghz, 20g, worthless video card). Come to think of it, I saw some with 128m, bought I thought I would've been insane to buy one (and they were more expensive).

garg, put that comment in the wrong place [nt] (3.00 / 3) (#52)
by pgdn on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:27:05 AM EST

why do i always do that?

[ Parent ]
sok... still saw it.. (none / 0) (#168)
by postindustrialist on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:37:48 AM EST

and yes, they do.. and XP on my machine is part of the reason for the memory problems.. i desperately want to upgrade to atleast 768 (which is about my max i think.. i have three spaces and although two of them are empty i don't wnat to try for any 512 sticks..[if they'd even fit]) aye.. try and run any sort of graphics or in my case, video editing sodftware and you are SOOOOOOO fucked..
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
crystal ball images (4.00 / 2) (#54)
by adiffer on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:40:46 AM EST

1.  There will be a short shooting war in Iraq involving ground forces before someone shoots their leader.  The war will end promptly with Iraq being given a chance to organize a new government under a few watchful eyes.

2.  Many more people will be blown up and shot in Israel.  No progress will be made, though many people will continue to scream at one another.

3.  The major US stock markets will experience a moderate broad-based gain by the end of the year, but things will remain volatile and flat through late Spring.

4.  The US unemployment rate will flatten out by mid-year and then move slightly down by the Winter.

5.  Many more people in North Korea will continue to go hungry and live a stone-age life style.  Some Americans will realize their people might be better off if China were to annex the region.

6.  The Sacramento Kings will take the NBA championship through good play and good acting.

7.  A US private company will try to crash land something on the Moon and make money doing it.  The vehicle will actually be flown instead of being yet another drawing board fiction.

8.  China will join the modern age when they send people into orbit and recover them safely.

9.  College football fans in the US will say 'Huh?  Which game is which?' and some bowl game organizers will move to put their traditional bowl game name back up front to where the fans can see it.

10.  By the end of the year, the next target of the US war on terrorism will be apparent.  It will be a former ally.

-Dream Big.
--Grow Up.

I predict... (2.75 / 4) (#55)
by Stick on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:44:41 AM EST

  • kwsNI and Spyderfarie will break up this year.
  • Linux will stagnate on the desktop. The techie/geek community will start to migrate over to Windows 2000/XP as their desktop systems. Slashdot will be slightly more Microsoft friendly.
  • Iraq will not be invaded this year
  • I will be rich (no, seriously)
  • K5 will have another financial crisis
  • tombuck will lose his job



---
Stick, thine posts bring light to mine eyes, tingles to my loins. Yea, each moment I sit, my monitor before me, waiting, yearning, needing your prose to make the moment complete. - Joh3n
Predictions (4.30 / 10) (#56)
by Blarney on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:45:33 AM EST

Here's mine!

  1. MTV2 will reduce their music video programming, and will carry many "Beach Parties" and other filler material. There will be rumors of a future MTV3 which plays videos constantly for only another $8/month.
  2. My cat will gain another 5 pounds and will finally learn how to open CD cases to chew on the delicious disks inside.
  3. Every customer service line will play a non-skippable 5-minute advertisement for something you'd never possibly want before allowing you into the voice jail.
  4. My psycho ex will call me up, promise to be good from now on, fly into my town to visit, meet me for some period of time less than an hour, "lose" or "break" her cell phone, pretend to stay with a "friend" who doesn't allow phone calls or visitors, and run off with some trust-fund kid she met on the airplane. She will do this at least twice in 2003.
  5. Rental rates will rise 10%, medical care 15%, college tuition 8%, food 2%, broadband internet access 20%, "local toll calls" 3%, and gasoline 5%. Wages will rise 2%. The government will report a 1.2% inflation rate for 2003.
  6. Slashdot will charge for successful article submissions.


Single prediction (4.50 / 8) (#58)
by Big Dogs Cock on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:14:24 AM EST

I will not get TU status back this week.

People say that anal sex is unhealthy. Well it cured my hiccups.
Well ... (4.25 / 5) (#59)
by Herring on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:35:39 AM EST

I suspect that UAL going into Chapter 11 protection will have an effect. They'll be able to seriously reduce ticket prices which may well drive one or two other carriers into serious trouble.

The US national debt will increase by > 10% due to increased millitary spending and bailing out failing corporations (probably mostly airlines).

There will be no referendum in the UK on joining the Euro (easy one) nor will a date be announced for one.

There will be a first innings collapse on the 2nd day of the 5th Ashes test (tonight UK time) going from the current 265 for 5 to around 300 all out. The Aussies will win by 8 wickets and I will be sad.

Pakistan will win the Cricket world cup after the Aussies lose points for not playing in Zimbabwe.

Many bad things will happen throughout the world and these will be blamed on the US by K5 users such as myself.


Say lol what again motherfucker, say lol what again, I dare you, no I double dare you
Cricket (4.00 / 4) (#92)
by rusty on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:08:40 AM EST

There will be a first innings collapse on the 2nd day of the 5th Ashes test (tonight UK time) going from the current 265 for 5 to around 300 all out. The Aussies will win by 8 wickets and I will be sad.

Additionally, the above prediction will continue to not be understood by anyone in the US, and it will be impossible for any of us to know whether it came true or not.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

Well (3.66 / 3) (#95)
by Herring on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:17:48 AM EST

I'll be sure to let you all know in my diary.

Maybe it's time for "An introduction to Cricket" article ... or not.


Say lol what again motherfucker, say lol what again, I dare you, no I double dare you
[ Parent ]
You overestimate the world (none / 0) (#119)
by Pac on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:35:30 PM EST

the above prediction will continue to not be understood by anyone in the US

Change that to "the above prediction will continue to not be understood by anyone outside the British Commonwealth". Jeez, Cricket is worse than Baseball.

Evolution doesn't take prisoners


[ Parent ]
See the main article for a similar sentence (none / 0) (#149)
by caek on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:26:14 PM EST

Barry Bonds will go yard more than 40 times again this year and get 150 walks. It will be the greatest three year span by any hitter, ever.

Eh?

[ Parent ]

Yeah, well (none / 0) (#159)
by rusty on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:37:30 PM EST

I'm American and I barely understood that one, so you won't find me defending it either. :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Assorted predictions (3.00 / 2) (#62)
by infraoctarine on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:44:39 AM EST

The EU:
At least 3 of the 10 prospective new members will decide not to join after holding a referendum.

Sweden will hold its referendum on the Euro, but vote no to adopting it with a margin of less than 5%. I'll be on the loosing side.

Discussions on joint military forces will intensify.

K5:
Nothing substantial will happen. Membership growth will slow. CMF will finally be formed, but the level of activity will be very low.

Economy:
The economy will continue to be slow throughout the year. There will be more bankruptcies and more trouble for the telecom industry. However, by the end of 2003 we will start to see signs of recovery. 3G cellphone networks will start to operate, but uptake will be slow throughout the year.

Linux:
Mandrakesoft will file for bankruptcy and attempt reconstruction, but will eventually disappear.

Sweden and the Euro (3.00 / 2) (#85)
by Sleepy on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:22:54 AM EST

Sweden will hold its referendum on the Euro, but vote no to adopting it with a margin of less than 5%.

No, we won't. It'll be exactly like the EU referendum, and Sweden will join the EMU(please remember that that's what we're really voting about. Nobody on the no-side gives a damn about the Euro.). Actually, I'm not sure the outcome of the referendum will actually affect this. The decision seems to have been made already.



[ Parent ]
The mists of time part, and Rogerborg sees... (4.41 / 12) (#63)
by Rogerborg on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 06:29:17 AM EST


  • A deliberate, sustained attack on the infrastructure of the internet, carried out by a state or group opposed to the USA.  This will go unnoticed by 99% of the world's population.
  • Systematic abuse of PATRIOT legislation to monitor vast swathes of the US population, which will go unnoticed by 99% of that population, and which will not effect 99% of the other 1%.
  • The stock market will continue to tank and 99% of investors will take 99% of the hit, as we might expect.  Or it will go up, but 1% of investors will mysteriously make 99% of the profit.  Either way, 99% of commentators will continue to be 100% wrong about what happens and why, but will continue to get paid by the winning 1% in order to to perpetuate the scam.
  • The United Nations will be renamed the United Nations of America, and will have a World Series Election in which 99% of the allowed candidates are from the USA.  1% of candidates from Canada will be allowed, but will be disqualified on a technicality if elected.  99% of the World (i.e. US) population will welcome the new regime.  The other 1% will finally make good on their long standing threat/promise to move to Canada, where 99% of them will be eaten by bears who will shit 100% of them out in the woods.
  • 99% of the world's population will continue to get screwed over by the other 1%, as has happened for 100% of recorded history, and 0% of people will do anything other than bitch about it, or try to get themselves into the screwing 1%.
  • Cats will finally take overt control of the planet.  Their policies of turning up the heating and neutering all humans will be welcomed by 100% of Canadian imigrees who haven't yet been eaten by bears.

"Exterminate all rational thought." - W.S. Burroughs

UK centric predicitions (3.33 / 4) (#64)
by bil on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 07:10:42 AM EST

Economic
The UK will head into recesion but by the end of the year things will be starting to recover.

The government will decide we havn't met their '5 economic tests' to join the euro and so a referendum will be out off for at least another 2 years, but the issue will remain open (i.e. the government will fudge things to please both sides of the arguement)

Political
The government will continue to be hit by minor scandals that the papers blow up into major crisis, however the Tories will fail to capitilise on them and instead their simmering civil war will break out into open warfare.

Northern Ireland will come to a fudge agreement and the assembly will return after fresh elections, however crisis will happen as regularly as ever.

Terrorism
Britain will continue to worry about Al-Queada but there will be no major attacks either here or elsewhere in Europe.

There will be at least two major terrorist attacks against western targets elsewhere in the world one mainland US, and one against the US abroad.

World
War in Iraq will happen with Britain playing a minor part that will be played up by politicians and newspapers to make it sound like we are partners with the US in this. The war will be fairly short (gulf war style) and Britain will suffer more casualties to their US allies then to the Iraqis (again)

North Korea will end with North Korea being bought off by the US.

Basically it will be like 2002 but different.

bil


bil
Where you stand depends on where you sit...

Not bad. Let's add: (4.30 / 10) (#87)
by Rogerborg on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:47:38 AM EST

Mandatory ID cards will be introduced, along with stop-and-demand powers for police, GPS tracking of cars, and implant chips for all immigrants.  David Blunkett will proudly display his card to kick off the scheme, but when asked to produce it again two weeks later at a press conference by a disguised Mark Thomas, will have him beaten to a pulp as a warning to others.  We will get used to the new regime surprisingly quickly, especially when those who don't get used to it stop returning our calls or showing up to work.

Rover Cars will become a subsidiary of Sony and will switch exclusively to manufacturing little toy cars for Aibos to drive.  This will lead to a brief period of civil disobedience by pensioners with flat caps, until they realise that red Nissan Micras are also suitable for being driven everywhere at 15 mph in first gear with the right turn indicator blinking furiously.

The Queen will die in a freak ribbon cutting accident, and after an abortive attempt to pin the blame on a tiny North Korean master assassin trained from birth to imitate a pair of scissors, we will be subjected to two weeks of unctuous hushed reverence on all BBC channels.  Sky 1 will of course continue to run Celebrity Big Brother: Ibiza Reps Special Uncensored!.  King Charles III will shock the world by not abdicating, and by just waving and reading whatever's shoved in front of him, like a proper king should.  Prince William will be reported in the Star as dating Britney Spears, but will scotch the rumour by flying to Hawaii and "marrying" Elijah Wood.

When the next big political crisis hits, Peter Mandelson will tip the wink to MI5, and the last thing that will go through Cherie Blair's mind will be the steering wheel of her car (old joke).  A poorly lit home video of her will be "discovered", in which she expresses her hope (in a slightly muffled voice) that she will be thought of as "the People's Advocate".  Mr Tony Blair will be inconsolable for weeks, or until the immediate crisis blows over.

Despite increasingly frantic reports on how house prices in the South East will stabilise or fall "real soon now", they will continue to rise mercilessly.  While Gordon Brown chants his "prudent and sustainable" mantra, Mr Tony Blair will sign off on unlimited London weightings for all public sector workers, fuelling a chain reaction that leads to Fortress London, and checkpoints on the M25 to exclude anyone earning less than six figures.  A retiring Mayfair concierge will sell his bedsit and buy Yorkshire with the proceeds, sparking off a bloody North-South civil war that will only end when the Government agrees to re-open the Channel Tunnel to booze tripping Scousers once again.

The price of an average Region 2 DVD will rise to £49.95, in return for which we will get a non-skippable ten minute warning about copyright and a bonus Latvian language track.  TV licensing goons will be given powers to force entry and confiscate any DVD player found unlocked from Region 2, and copiers of music will be punished by being banned from watching future Pop Idol clones.

The BBC will continue its policy of employing only inbred BBC brats called either Crispin or Saskia, and producing clumsy knock-offs of concepts broken on Channel 4 or Sky 1 two years previously.  The new Eastenders Live 24/7 Channel will be a runaway success.

England will once again experience extreme floods and storms, and the government and media will continue to pretend that these are "once in a lifetime" events, while accelerating building programs on high, sheltered ground.  Scotland will continue to wonder loudly and smugly what all the fuss is about.  Nobody will know or care what happens in Wales, unless Catherine Zeta Jones gets her feet wet.

The government will continue with the policy of rewarding train companies for cancelling services.  By the end of the year, all train services will have been phased out, and train operators will trim their operations back to collecting subsidies and issuing refunds.   When the bus companies get in on the scam, commuters will finally take action to reduce gridlock on the roads.  Specifically, three people in Wolverhampton will begin carpooling.

Charlotte Church will do a nude shoot for FHM, which will boost sales dramatically.  In response, Anthea Turner will do one for Stuff Magazine, which will send it into receivership.

On average, one highly insured ship a week will crash into the wreck of the Tricolor, until the government solves two problems by moving the Millennium Dome onto the site.  Visitor numbers will improve 20% due to the increased ease of access.

The government will deal with the social security and pension crisis by closing down more maternity hospitals and buying themselves retirement villas in Brazil with the money.  To make up for the aging population, immigrants will be allowed in on the strict objective basis that they have strong, healthy teeth,  a right fist of iron and a left one of lead, and can mine sixteen tons.  The UK will emulate the US policy of obliging employers to tax illegal immigrants, while not actually making it legal to employ them, or to pay them minimum wage, thereby retaining a useful underclass that can be deported when convenient.

All proceeds from North Sea oil will continue to go to keeping a fleet of Trident nuclear submarines cruising around, as a deterent to any state with the right blend of size, technology and self loathing to make them capable of launching an attack of just the right intensity - not too big, not too small - to trigger a nuclear response.  So, Belgium then.  We'll once again hold off on the heady thrill of investing seriously in alternative energy sources, leaving that particular joyful task for our kids.  The cost of maintaining and decommisioning our nuclear plants will continue to not be spoken of, if we know what's good for us.

In general, things will suck slightly more, but with an average of two new cable channels a month, most of us won't notice that our kids are screwed, and those of us that do won't have a clue what to do about it other than - oh, hang on, Celebrity Pop Idol Airport is starting.  L8r!

"Exterminate all rational thought." - W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

I wish (3.66 / 3) (#93)
by Herring on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:12:44 AM EST

I had more accounts to give 5s with.


Say lol what again motherfucker, say lol what again, I dare you, no I double dare you
[ Parent ]
lets hope (none / 0) (#152)
by Godel on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:02:31 PM EST

Charlotte Church will do a nude shoot for FHM, which will boost sales dramatically. In response, Anthea Turner will do one for Stuff Magazine, which will send it into receivership.

May all your predictions come true.

[ Parent ]

Flying cars and isolationism. (3.00 / 4) (#65)
by phybre187 on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 07:28:15 AM EST

It's about fucking time for the flying cars. Seriously. Not so much a prediction as a demand.

Here's a foolproof prediction, though: The US will not switch to isolationism. Which it really really really fucking needs to do.

Friends don't let friends fly cars (3.00 / 2) (#72)
by Pax Unix on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:54:56 AM EST

Given how atrocious the average person is at driving a vehicle in two dimensions, why would we even consider letting him or her loose in three?

I pray to the gods I do not believe in that I will never in my lifetime see cars intended to be "driven" by the general public.

Maybe if it's all automated and the "driver" is nothing more than a passenger, but nothing less.

[ Parent ]

Cars driven by the general public?! (3.00 / 2) (#89)
by rusty on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:53:09 AM EST

I pray to the gods I do not believe in that I will never in my lifetime see cars intended to be "driven" by the general public.

Aye! These newfangled horse-less carriages are a public menace! ;-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

Six Words (4.36 / 11) (#66)
by HypoLuxa on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:18:20 AM EST

Fucking massive space robots attack earth.

--
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.
- Leonard Cohen
Not just any robots... (3.00 / 2) (#80)
by evilpenguin on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:43:03 AM EST

But Killer Japanese Seizure Robots!
--
# nohup cat /dev/dsp > /dev/hda & killall -9 getty
[ Parent ]
my predication for predilictions for predictions (4.00 / 3) (#67)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:21:58 AM EST

simple: the world will get more dangerous.

long story:
the us will invade iraq. the new iraqi government and its embryonic development will be of great all-absorbing symbolic interest to everyone in the world. it will be debated endlessly on kuro5hin by everyone to demonstrate this position or that position from all over the ideological spectrum.

another major al qaeda hit will take place after the war, but not in the us. saudi arabia will fall out of favor with the us after a big financial scandal involving terrorist funding. iran will experience growing student unrest whose crisis point will not be reached in 2003, but perhaps 2004.

europe will grow increasingly wary of us belligerence and will pointedly and publicly move away from us policy at every opportunity. britain will remain the american stooge in europe. russia will grow closer to the us, and visa versa, as russia deals with continuing chechen defiance and both countries recognize how much their interests overlap.

china's space program will have a spectacular accident and they will push off the manned mision until 2004. japan will slowly, but definitively rearm. north korea will be forgotten again, to good or bad effect remains to be seen years from now. indonesia will continue to splinter, perhaps spectacularly in aceh. india and pakistan will saber rattle all year to no real efect. the philippines will experience increasing terrorism.

nigeria will experience increasing interreligious violence. the sudan will show greater international interest in the plight of its christian south for its idiomatic and symbolic nature as a microcosm of world conflict over the militant fringe of islam.

brazil will fall out of love with the left as it fails to improve the lot of the average man. venezuela will have a people-power type peaceful revolution of sorts/ regime change. mexico and canada will "go european" and pointedly and publicly divorce themselves from increasingly belligerent us policies.

and i will be flamed all year multiply with every post i make. you may begin now. lol ;-P

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

circletimessquare will discover the shift key (3.00 / 2) (#70)
by wiredog on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:40:12 AM EST

I suspect Iran will blow up in the next few months. It went quickly the last time.

The greatest contribution of the internet to society is that it makes it possible for anyone of any age to become a grumpy old fart.
Parent ]
truedat (none / 0) (#140)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 06:23:00 PM EST

i hope iran's theocracy goes!

oh wait, i mean

I HOPE IRAN'S THEOCRACY GOES!

wait, wait, wait, i can do this

i HoPe IrAn'S tHeOcRaCy GoEs!

damn! what is the secret to this shift key! ;-P

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

Too late, my friend (3.50 / 5) (#74)
by DominantParadigm on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:18:35 AM EST

mexico and canada will "go european" and pointedly and publicly divorce themselves from increasingly belligerent us policies.

Canada may not have the PR might that the United States has, but we've successfully convinced the world that we are not Americans.

Because of this, we can travel as we may, buy what we might, and utterly fail to thump our chests at the death and destruction that our armed forces exercise upon other countries.

You think that Canadians are self righteous because we're nationalist? Perhaps we're stupid? Not so, we just know how much mileage we can get by distancing ourselves from the Americans.

So have a nice day and watch out for falling skyscrapers.



Caller:So you're advocating bombing innocent children? Howard Stern:Yes, of course!


[ Parent ]
lol (3.50 / 3) (#88)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:52:11 AM EST

angry tirade, angry tirade, angry tirade, followed by:

"So have a nice day and watch out for falling skyscrapers."

i don't understand the context of this statement. is it a threat? are you trying to tell me that the us should be concerned with angry canadian nationalist terrorists as well as al qaeda? lol ;-P

hey man, you're the ones with the queen of another country on your money. and exactly what is british foreign policy like these days? i think you have more to fear from quebec than the us when it comes to the great image of canadian identity. lol

just make sure your vaunted mounties keep the borders properly locked up, because all al qaeda thinks of your country is as a launching point for infiltrating your hotheaded southern neighbor. ;-P

oh and btw, the next time you meet a friendly aussie, tell him or her to "have a nice day and watch out for exploding balinese discos." a victim of terror is a victim of terror. i worked at 5 WTC until september 11, 2001. i think i hugged a canadian couple two nights ago in times square. i'll let them spit on you with those words coming out of your mouth rather than me. i don't see how harping on september 11th vaunts canadian identity dude.


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

I'll explain it (none / 0) (#128)
by pyramid termite on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:02:50 PM EST

"So have a nice day and watch out for falling skyscrapers."

i don't understand the context of this statement. is it a threat? are you trying to tell me that the us should be concerned with angry canadian nationalist terrorists as well as al qaeda?

Well, you know how opera singers can break crystal with their voices? They're training Celine Dion to break skyscrapers with her singing on her next hit single. It's been in the works a long time ...

On the Internet, anyone can accuse you of being a dog.
[ Parent ]
no, no, no (none / 0) (#138)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:48:40 PM EST

no, no, no. the celine dione gambit will never work. that is because bush is currently spending us$1 trillion a year on giant speaker systems to be deployed on the northern border that promise to cancel out all incoming enemy sound waves.

the problem is that with all of the money spent so far and after decades of work, the system, code named "pop star wars" by reagan, works on only half of its trial runs. also, skeptics contend that the evil enemy canadians can confuse and overload the system with multiple simultaneous decoy launches of shania twain, bryan adams, and alanis morrisette. ;-P
 

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

Too late *2 (3.00 / 2) (#82)
by sonovel on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:53:36 AM EST

Japan alread is number 2 or 3 worldwide in military spending.

It is a mostly defensive force, but those fighter jets don't have a chip which keeps them from being used aggresively.

And I refuse to dignify your flame prediction with a reply, arsemunch.

[ Parent ]

HAHAHAHAHA (2.60 / 5) (#91)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:01:17 AM EST

lol this is the most dignifying flamefest i have never been a part of... asswipe lol ;-P


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
I can't believe ... (3.00 / 2) (#102)
by sonovel on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:07:13 PM EST

Someone gave you a '1' rating on what was obviously an amusing reply to an amusing flame, you wanker.

[ Parent ]
humorless people (3.66 / 3) (#105)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:17:31 PM EST

there are a lot of humorless people out there. they can't appreciate a civilized nonexistent flamefest. you dorkwad. ;-P


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
Kuro5hin will sell out (2.00 / 7) (#68)
by wiredog on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:27:21 AM EST

Rusty will disclose that Kuro5hin is close to bankruptcy and will make all Scoop code proprietary in order to survive. Some K5ers will set up alternative discussion sites -- but His Monocleness will sue under the DMCA to prevent any copycat sites. While readers accuse the site of "monopolizing" all the vital discussions of the various ways of solving the worlds problems, or at least beating them to death, Justice Department officials will threaten prosecution under the Sherman antitrust act. But the Vespa Rider will prevail, and build a 50 room mansion on Peake's Isle, which he will buy and turn into a private resort.

The greatest contribution of the internet to society is that it makes it possible for anyone of any age to become a grumpy old fart.
Rip-off... (5.00 / 3) (#81)
by FourDegreez on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:49:24 AM EST

....of Salon.com's prediction for Slashdot.

[ Parent ]
False Futurists Won't Be Held Accountable (3.66 / 3) (#86)
by Baldrson on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:26:42 AM EST

I predict that, once again in 2003, false proph--- futurists will not be held accountable for their prognostications -- not even via such a low-cost and accessible system as Idea Futures.

-------- Empty the Cities --------


Red Sox win World Series, and: (4.44 / 9) (#90)
by johnny on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 10:55:50 AM EST

  • Having presented evidence that most people in the non-USA world find not convincing, the US invades Iraq. Victory comes easily, but it's not the cakewalk that the Gulf War was. More than 1,000 servicemen die. Around the world anti US feeling is strong. More than 30 US citizens including tourists, journalists, diplomats, and business people, are murdered. The US travel industry goes into tailspin, as fewer and fewer USisans care to travel abroad.
  • As the Kissinger [sic] commission gets underway, more people begin to ask about connections between the Bush Sr. Carlysle Group and the Bin Laden family business. Thus the conspiracy theory that the current world geopolitical situation consists largely of blood feuds among the Hussein, Bin Laden and Bush families attracts more adherents. Most people believe that this theory is nonsense, but on the other hand most people now have heard about it.
  • Dallas wins NBA championship.
  • AIDs and famine combine in a "perfect storm" throughout much of southern Africa to form a humanitarian crises that dwarfs all but the most dire predictions of aid agencies. Europeans, led by France, take the lead in addressing the situation. Europe increasingly sees itself at the new Athens, and the USA as the new Sparta.
  • An obscure writer of technoparanoid geek fiction, propelled by a fanatical cult following on K5, becomes the newest pop-literary star, outselling Grisham and approaching Stephen King. He is featured on the covers of People and Newsweek magazines. Although stalked by J-Lo, he remains boring in his private life and gives the tabloids virtually nothing, other than some rather awkward wipeouts in small New Jersey surf, to run about him.


yr frn,
jrs
Get your free download of prizewinning novels Acts of the Apostles and Cheap Complex Devices.
you do realize... (3.20 / 5) (#112)
by Work on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:28:37 PM EST

kissinger resigned from the 9-11 commission some weeks ago right?

[ Parent ]
yes. That's why the [sic] (5.00 / 1) (#131)
by johnny on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:50:29 PM EST



yr frn,
jrs
Get your free download of prizewinning novels Acts of the Apostles and Cheap Complex Devices.
[ Parent ]
Mine (3.00 / 2) (#94)
by CrazyJub on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:13:01 AM EST

Europe

The EU will continue working towards unification, and England will come along for the ride.

UN

The UN members that first supported the US in its quest for Iraq will begin to break off and disapear as we get closer to D-Day, and then the attack will never happen.

Economy

The economy ain't over falling, and the Enron charges will still continue into 2003. Ken Lay will only be charged after major pressure from the media that the Bush administration does not want to implicate thier own.

Bush

I don't know what it is yet, but watch out for major, MAJOR scandal to stain the Bush administration.

Democrats

Howard Dean will emerge as the front runner for the Democratic party.

England? (none / 0) (#104)
by the on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:17:02 PM EST

England will come along for the ride
And what will Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland do?

--
The Definite Article
[ Parent ]
Drink. [nt] (none / 0) (#111)
by Work on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:27:26 PM EST

nt

[ Parent ]
My turn... (3.00 / 2) (#96)
by digitalamish on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:23:08 AM EST

World News:
Hostilites will flare up between the US and South Korea.  The US will increase it's presence there in order to keep Korea from uniting.

The US will partially invade Iraq, to the same results as before.  Just enough to destroy the military infrastructure, but stopping short of going to Baghdad.

The US will offer to bail out the government in Venezuela.

China will not get a manned flight into space this year.

US News:
Bush will run for re-election.  Hillary will tease people about it, but will not run.

A copycat sniper will terrorize California.

Money:
Less bankruptcies than last year.  The economy will start to turn around late, but will not come close to a complete recovery.

The tech industry will not make a recovery.

Science:
The alleged cloned babies will turn out to be false.

Weather:
The years worst disaster will be a drought in the central part of the US.

new hit song tops the charts! (3.00 / 2) (#97)
by pb on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:27:08 AM EST

Heretofore unknown artist Lance Morrison tops the charts with Einstein's brain!  However, no fame or fortune goes to pb for pointing this out.  :(
---
"See what the drooling, ravening, flesh-eating hordes^W^W^W^WKuro5hin.org readers have to say."
-- pwhysall
The Washington Times (3.00 / 2) (#98)
by DarkZero on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:30:03 AM EST

Rather than making an ass out of myself by posting insane predictions, I think I'll let Tony Blankley do it for me. Here are his predictions for 2003. Apparently, he's either predicting the plot of a new Tom Clancy novel called "2003" or he's just a crazy fucking whackjob. If you're looking for how to make your predictions sound absolutely insane, yet still plausible in a "Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty" sort of way, this is the article that you should refer to.

First, he pulls out the age-old crazy soothsayer technique: believe what you're saying. When making predictions, you must believe that Ra, the Egyptian sun god, has given this purely factual information to you from on high. Next, you must not only make crazy predictions (there will be two major, successful terrorist attacks in 2003, one in the US and one in Europe or out at sea), but state the fallout of the events in those crazy predictions (the Democrats will handle the politics of these attacks badly, but Hillary Clinton and Bush won't), then state the fallout of the fallout of those crazy predictions (Thanksgiving 2003 will be a highly emotional coming together for the United States; Bush will be admired through much of the world and his re-election will be almost certain), then state the fallout of the fallout of the fallout of those crazy predictions (the whole Thanksgiving thing will cause massive American optimism and consumer spending), and then the <fallout x4> of those crazy predictions (consumer spending will start "the boom of 2004"), until people start to wonder if you're an incredibly skilled troll or just some hobo that wandered into the Washington Times building and started typing at a keyboard.

Come on, guys. I know you can top this. I know that one of you can logically convince me that space aliens from the planet Vorlak will arrive on Earth and utter something completely incomprehensible which we will soon realize in a fit of horror was actually "Dude, I can SOOOOO make a bong out of that little blue one!". That, or that China's first astronaut will not only make it into space, but accidentally bump into the Moon and realize that it's just a cardboard standee that the United States and Soviet Russia jointly put up there to hide the fact that they vaporized the Moon during their second secret nuclear space war, aka "Star Wars: Episode 2: The Empires Strike Back".

News Flash - Wash Times are all Moonies [NT] (none / 0) (#121)
by zzzeek on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 02:30:42 PM EST



[ Parent ]
my turn (2.85 / 7) (#99)
by turmeric on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:46:12 AM EST

i predict about 5billion k5 readers will think really ereally hard, then post their msade up xcrap here, hoping to god that someone wioll do a similar 'review of last years predicitions ' story next yuear. in fact, nobody will want to go rthrough all your pathetic rambling attempts at humor/wisdom, and next yuears article qwill be mercifully much shorter, and most of your 'predictions' will not even get a single sentence fragment of mention.

Is this the year you get a working spellcheck? NT (5.00 / 1) (#123)
by fractal on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:09:49 PM EST


"Towering mastodons of destruction - grotesque, weird horrendous, many stories high appear from the bowels of the Earth, from the black depths of outer space, from the murky deep."
[ Parent ]
YEOUCH!!!! (none / 0) (#169)
by postindustrialist on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:49:37 AM EST

tumeric may be a bitter bitch for not getting any predictions right, but do ya have to go there????
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
Love, true love and kindness (none / 0) (#196)
by A Trickster Imp on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:35:39 PM EST

> humanity is starting to awake to it's potential,
> both for better and for the worse ends of the
> spectrum.
>
> life, like love, should be experienced in the
> fullest, whether good or bad at times, and although
> one should be aware it will end, grasp tightly

Sorry, dude, it'll be a few more years than just next before you can buy a sex slave clone of JLo with Angelina Jolie's head and newly engineered big lips, complete with brain hard wired to find your flabby body the hottest lustful thing it can imagine.

[ Parent ]

EEP!!! (none / 0) (#199)
by postindustrialist on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 09:39:40 PM EST

ooooooooh.. nice one....^_^ now play nice....:P
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
god damn it.... (5.00 / 1) (#200)
by postindustrialist on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 09:41:54 PM EST

MOTHERFUCKIN CUNTWHORE!!!! MY SIG ISN"T SHOWING COMPLETELY!!! BTW, thanks for pointing it out..
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
My predictions... (none / 0) (#136)
by Meatbomb on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:41:52 PM EST

...will all come true, and I'll be on the cover of Time Magazine with the header "The Next Nostradamus?" because of it. They'll want to interview me on CNN, and I'll be rich and famous and all the chicks will dig me, so nyah nyah nyah! PS I'll make a point of saying in my CNN interview "And there were some morons on k5 who doubted me", but I'll make a point not to actually mention your name tumeric.

_______________

Good News for Liberal Democracy!

[ Parent ]
Clarification (none / 0) (#137)
by Meatbomb on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:45:54 PM EST

I just wanted to make sure you understood that I won't withhold your name during the interview to spare you the shame; rather, I don't want you to get your own 15 minutes of fame through basking in my reflected glory.

_______________

Good News for Liberal Democracy!

[ Parent ]
Canadian Political Predictions (4.33 / 4) (#100)
by gauntlet on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:00:35 PM EST

Political Party Leaderships
Someone that no one cares about will become leader of the NDP.

Jean Chretien will still be the leader of the federal liberal party at the end of the year.

Joe Clark will be replaced by one of his MPs.

Harper is still the leader of the Alliance, and still looks and acts like a depressed accountant.

Marijuana
The Canadian federal government will take away the criminal penalty for posession of small quantities, make no other changes, and have virtually no effect on enforcement.

Gun Registry
Someone will be arrested and charged under the new gun registry law. That person will contest the law's constitutionality. Ungodly sums of money will continue to be spent.

Iraq
Canada will send support personnel to Iraq, possibly a hospital ship, and some communications experts. There will be embarrasing stories about having to borrow equipment, and/or equipment failing during the mission.

Electoral Finance Reform
To little fanfare, the federal government will enact legislation setting limits on the size of donations to political parties, and limiting the soruce of the donations to individuals. There will be constitutional challenges of the law that will remain undecided at the end of the year.

Government Scandal
Jean Chretien will either fire or demote someone in cabinet as the result of an ethical scandal. That person will have ties to the Paul Martin leadership bid.

Into Canadian Politics?

OOH, I love the last you (none / 0) (#144)
by theantix on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 07:41:30 PM EST

Quite brilliant indeed.

You really are Hitler, aren't you? -- theboz
[ Parent ]
Um.. wha? [nt] (none / 0) (#145)
by gauntlet on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 07:44:00 PM EST


Into Canadian Politics?
[ Parent ]

Heh (none / 0) (#178)
by theantix on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:53:58 PM EST

Sorry, that was a really unclear and confusing statement.  I meant I love that last prediction you made, though only some of those words seem to have made it from my brain to my comment.  I blame it on the excessive lack of sleep brought on my NYE celebrations.

Anyhow, your prediction about a ethics scandal linked to a Martin supporter fit quite well with my uber-cynical (by that I mean "realistic") approach to Canadian politics, and it amused me so thanks.

You really are Hitler, aren't you? -- theboz
[ Parent ]

Predictions (5.00 / 1) (#195)
by A Trickster Imp on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:30:41 PM EST

Poitine, in spite of its deliscious description, french fries with cheese curds and gravy, will continue to taste kinda bogue when you get about halfway done.

[ Parent ]
Marijuana (none / 0) (#220)
by illustro1a4 on Wed Jan 15, 2003 at 10:21:58 PM EST

My guess is that Ottawa will not pass any cannabis laws in the first half on the year. In June the court will strike down all cannabis laws as unconstitutional (similar to abortion) and Amsterdam style coffeehouses will pop up everywhere.  At that point if Ottawa does pass anything it will be to tax it (and tax it good).  This will piss off Washington, they'll threaten trade sanctions but nothing will happen (their love of money is greater than their hatred of the demon weed).

illustro
--
Get the facts about marijuana and the true cost of prohibition.

[ Parent ]

A few predictions (4.25 / 5) (#101)
by ocelotbob on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:06:09 PM EST

Pulling the crystal ball out of the closet, I can se a few tings happening in 2k3. By and large, it's going to be a fairly quiet year, with the US economy slowly recovering by Sept./Oct. I don't see any major wars brewing, but there are probably going to be some regeme changes nonetheless.
  • Castro is going to die. Natural causes is going to be the official reported death, but some conspiracy theorists are going to claim that the US was responsible for the act. His replacement isn't going to have anywhere near the personality cult he has, and there is going to be some degree of social unrest among the Cuban people before the year is through.
  • There is going to be noise made about both North Korea and Iraq. There are going to be some major troop deployments, and a carrier group is going to be deployed very close to North Korean waters, probably causing a minor stir and rumors to abound. In the end, nothing much is going to happen, though. There will be relatively minor policy changes, and both sides will claim victory.
  • At least one US state is going to successfully pass a marijuana decriminalization bill, after a very intense fight. The entire process is going to be held up in court for some time, though, with resolution not coming until 2004. On this board and others, flamewars will erupt over discussions on the 9th and 10th amendments, and what they exactly entail.
  • The next big internet fad will come from Southeast Asia. It will be a video of some sort, and there will be many, many links to it, many discussions, people getting tired of it, etc. Eventually, it'll die out, though, becoming a tired joke, like AYBABTU and In Soviet Russia...
  • There will be at least one virus threat. It will be based on a combination of little-known exploits and open mail servers, and appear to many to be either spam or a silly forwarded picture. Some people will take internet security more seriously, but for most, it will be business as usual.
  • LA's NFL teams will go undefeated again. Of course, they won't win any games, either. Pro football will not return to the City of Angels until at least 2005.

Why... in my day, the idea wasn't to have a comfortable sub[missive]...
--soylentdas

Intrope's blasphemous ravings (3.50 / 3) (#103)
by Intrope on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:08:15 PM EST

Iraq will be occupied (after a brief fight) before April.

Iran will have a new government by the end of the year.

Saudi Arabia will be openly recognized by the Bush Administration as an enemy by July.

North Korea will either:
  - attack South Korea, and be defeated before the end of the year; this will involve 1 or more million casualties, and result in the removal of the North Korean government
  - give up their nuke program entirely (and for real, this time) in return for Bush not attacking them and doling out a little more food and fuel.

Return of the King will be the bomb. It will be released late in December, and still be in the top 5 for 2003 releases.

The economy will probably pick up considerably, but not until both Iraq and North Korea have been dealt with.

Money (3.80 / 5) (#106)
by Cro Magnon on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:18:13 PM EST

I predict that K5, Slashdot, and Mandrake will all have fund drives.
Information wants to be beer.
My predictions... (3.50 / 5) (#107)
by duffbeer703 on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:20:38 PM EST

1> People will start to realize that "The Information Economy" is a myth as information jobs get pushed offshore.

2> A grassroots movement for a protective tariff will start to appear, as people shopping in their local Wal-Mart begin to realize that an ever-dwindiling percentage of consumer goods are manufactured in the US.

3> Instability in the Middle East will lead to pushes for US industry to utilize Natural Gas and Coal.

4> The government, facing a widening war and crippling deficits, will not rescue bankrupt air carriers.

5> Dozens of US cities and at least two states will declare bankruptcy due to mounting healthcare and pension costs.

States? (none / 0) (#194)
by A Trickster Imp on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:21:03 PM EST

Can a state declare bankuptcy?  IANAL, but I thought they couldn't because 1. They were soverign and 2. Had a unique capacity to back loans not with collateral but the power to tax.

[ Parent ]
Sure (none / 0) (#210)
by duffbeer703 on Mon Jan 06, 2003 at 12:03:57 AM EST

The largest US governmental organization to go bankrupt was Orange County, CA a few years back, but plenty of other US governments have come close. In the late 70's the New York Dormitory Authority (a State authority) defaulted on it's bonds and New York City would have defaulted on it's bonds had the federal gov't not intervened.

Plenty of nations have defaulted on their debt as well.

It is unlikely that a state would actually default on it's debt and enter bankruptcy -- but it is possible. In these times, when the Federal government has dumped the full weight of the welfare state on state & local gov't, I wouldn't be shocked if it happened.

[ Parent ]

On Sports (3.50 / 4) (#109)
by Work on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:24:00 PM EST

I predict more players in a variety of sports will come out this year.

My wild guess as to the biggest one: nascar's jeff gordon.

Ironclad predictions (3.50 / 4) (#110)
by Control Group on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:26:07 PM EST

  • I will still be driving a '92 Corolla by the end of 2003
  • Over the course of 2003, >80% of my gross income will still go to the IRS, DirectLoans, and Visa.
  • My sister will break up with her boyfriend at least three times.
  • For the duration of the year, I will remain single.


***
"Oh, nothing. It just looks like a simple Kung-Fu Swedish Rastafarian Helldemon."
MTV (4.25 / 5) (#113)
by Nickus on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:32:52 PM EST

I predict that the music industry will manage to produce an even more annoying tune than Las Ketchup and Macarena.



Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out. --Unknown
Nothing ever changes (2.66 / 3) (#115)
by Perianwyr on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:36:51 PM EST

Flying cars, men on Mars, dollar bills in titty bars.

Eh? (none / 0) (#190)
by A Trickster Imp on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:07:07 PM EST

Duke Nukem 4 will finally be released?  YES!

[ Parent ]
Its pretty obvious what's going to happen (4.69 / 13) (#116)
by andymurd on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:45:53 PM EST

Israel and Palestine will decide that all this fighting is just silly and share a country named Israelistine.

The RIAA will decide that slowing record sales are due to the lack of originality and artistry in its output. Hilary Rosen quoted as saying "I think there can be too many boy bands."

After another high school shooting incident, every single US citizen voluntarily hands all their guns in to the local police station. Law enforcement officers are forced to break off from beating minorities and hassling dope smokers to write a lot of receipts.

George W. Bush decides against running for a 2nd term to attend adult literacy classes.

Incontrovertable proof that Osama Bin Laden was not responsible for the 9/11 attacks is found - boy is he pissed off. The lawsuit jihad begins...

My take... (3.00 / 4) (#117)
by MSBob on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 12:52:16 PM EST

US: Bush administration will continue their warmongering but their efforts will only result in a minor bombing raid that will not topple Saddam Husein. The US economy will be stagnant and possibly headed for more recession. Consumer confidence will stay low keeping the economy flat. High tech companies will stay within that trend.

Europe: Some uncertainty about the enlargement will spur discussions and even anti-enlargement demonstrations in at least one current EU member. Despite US strongarming, Turkey will be refused an invitation to join the negotiating table once again.

Russia: Russia will see a flurry of terrorist attacks. This will be the new venting area for terrorist organizations. At least one major terror attack will occur on Russian soil with many more in Chechnya.

Middle East: More of the same with lots of uncertainty and regular violence in the occupied territories. OPEC will not cut oil production significantly. Saddam will stay where he is.

Asia: While the Japanese economy will continue to do badly the Chinese economy will see a major swing upwards thanks to the new leader who will keep encouraging economic changes while maintaining iron grip on the political structure.

Africa: Africa will see at least one country experience serious famine (probably Zimbabwe) while several others will do surprisingly well.

War On Terror: Bin Laden will not be caught while the US will declare him 'likely dead' once more, after which fact he will reappear on a new video tape recording.

That's all folks.

I don't mind paying taxes, they buy me civilization.

wait a minute (none / 0) (#133)
by BCoates on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 05:03:43 PM EST

are these predictions for 2003 or 2002?

[ Parent ]
Yet More Predictions (3.50 / 4) (#118)
by sto0 on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 01:02:36 PM EST

  1. I will pass my degree, but not get a high enough mark to start a PhD. I will have to live in the World of Work for some time.
  2. The UK government will still not accept the European Currency. There will be as much indecision over it as before.
  3. The US will invade Iraq, but not commence all-out war.
  4. Microsoft will continue to struggle in the face of Open Source Initiatives, but more due to licensing fees and commoditised computing than unstable and poorly written software.
  5. Return of the King will have an absolutely amazing battle sequence.


My predictions (3.66 / 3) (#120)
by i on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 02:11:15 PM EST

By the end of 2003, kuro5hin.org will
  • be godawful slow at certain times of the day (such as around 18:00 UTC)
  • not have a proper search engine
  • not have a functioning "who's online" box
  • be an even less of a techie discussion site


and we have a contradicton according to our assumptions and the factor theorem

Going for most unlikely single prediction... (4.66 / 3) (#125)
by Xeriar on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:37:48 PM EST

Earth will be smacked by a small meteor, leveling a small remote area, doing little significant damage on its own, but the panick caused by stupid people blowing it out of proportion will remind many of the Y2K 'crisis'.

----
When I'm feeling blue, I start breathing again.
snowballs chance predictions (4.33 / 3) (#126)
by edjohn on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 03:54:59 PM EST

Here's a nice list of things that won't happen this year.

My favorite: After earning enough money to build several new hospitals and schools, Britney and Christina will drop the slut act and go back to Africa to continue their missionary work.

My Speculations (4.00 / 1) (#129)
by dissonant on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:08:50 PM EST

I'll only try to make predictions for things I know at least a little about.

North America - I predict that by the end of 2003 (or at latest 2004) no sane geek will attempt any prediction about terrorism for fear of raising a flag in the TIA system. The war on terror will continue with more abrasive legislation thanks to Congress being in control of the same party as the President.
Couple that with RIAA sponsored DRM legislation and the export of many IT jobs by larger companies and I think the US may see the beginning of an IT brain drain.

Middle East - The US will go to war with Iraq and unseat Hussein by summer. There will be light (less than 1000) casualties, but still more than most Americans are used to seeing from the original conflict and Afghanistan. In the fall, while installing and stabilizing a pro-western regime in Iraq, Washington will begin diplomatically isolating and pressuring Saudi Arabia, but will take no actual action for fear of incurring the wrath of the majority of the Muslim world that they haven't already alienated due to Saudi Arabia's status as a holy land.
I think either the US, Israel, or Russia (or all of the above) will be the victim of a very large scale terrorist attack, possibly from WMD taken in the chaos of Iraqi\US conflict.

Asia - North and South Korea will be either united or in civil war by the end of 2003 but I'm not even going to try to guess the outcome. My neighbor (who moved here 3 years ago from SK) seems to think that NK would have a coup or revolt before things would go nuclear, but he does seem to think NK's ruler, Kim Chong-il is insane\megalomaniacal to use WMD if he believed his rule to be genuinely threatened. My neighbor is planning on moving as much of his family that remains in SK over here (to the US) as soon as possible.
I don't think the US and NK will go to war, but the US will makes its presence felt in the region and keep NK under pressure and isolated. The US may provide assistance in the event of a coup or revolt.

On the lighter side - The "peasant look" will go away. It's played out.
80's nostalgia will be on the rise.
At least one electronic album by someone other than Moby will make it big in the US.
Coral will be the new Turqoise.
SUVs will become less popular as crossover vehicles (Pontiac Vibe, Toyota Matrix, Nissan Murano, Honda Pilot), nicer small cars (Mini Cooper, a new Volkswagen Jetta and GTI, BMW 1-series), and new sports cars (Pontiac New GTO, Nissan 350Z, Mazda RX-8, Mitsubishi Evo-VII (or VIII)) take their place. The Hip Hop set will get bored of Bentleys, Benzes, and Escalades and start moving into restored classic american muscle cars and highly modified "Fast and the Furious"-esque sport compacts.
The two new Matrix movies will both have profound effects on both style and special effects for years to come. They will also both beat Return of the King by narrow margins at the box office.
News agencies will spew out alarmist rants about Wardriving, and bad laws will be passed.
Motocycles and possibly scooters will become much more popular with the under 30 and over 50 sets.
Angry, agressive punk will slowly start to gain popularity, but won't get far this year.

i disagree... (none / 0) (#170)
by postindustrialist on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 01:20:56 AM EST

80's will slowly fade out for nineties nostalgia
no electronica album will make it unless they're either fatboy slim or moby, yet people will still have bent, stereolab,faithless, etc playing in the background of every god damned movie and commercial. it's on the rise and definitely going to be bigger than your punk.
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
[ Parent ]
In the year 2003 AD... (4.00 / 1) (#130)
by confrontationman on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:10:14 PM EST

there shall in that time be rumours of things going astray, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friends hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight O'clock.

- Michael Palin as Wise Man #3 in Life if Brian



See you in the Camps (4.60 / 5) (#132)
by coljac on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 04:52:37 PM EST

My predictions:

Iraq, despite desperately trying to form an alliance with its co-members of the Axis of Evil, will be bombed mightily.

American economy will falter as the rest of the world becomes concerned about USA's staggering debt and the dollar sags.

The phrase "If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking Iraqi by now" is coined by the Bush administration.

John Ashcroft is discovered wearing J. Edgar Hoover's old teddy.

The k5 membership list will be harvested from Total Information Awareness and given to the Department of Homeland Security. Those of us in the USA, Britain or Australia will briefly meet face to face in the secret holding cell before our appearance at our tribunal. Look forward to seeing you all there!



---
Whether or not life is discovered there I think Jupiter should be declared an enemy planet. - Jack Handey

looks into crystal ball for 2003-2004 (4.00 / 1) (#139)
by alizasmurf on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 06:15:56 PM EST

US Politics

The Democratic nomination race for the 2004 elections will be fiercely competative, the like of which has not been seen since Clinton ran against Bush Sr. Sen. Joe Lieberman will not win the nomination, although he will most likely run as an independent. George W Bush will not be threatened by another Republican. Jim Trafficant will rise from his cell and run yet again.

Pending Litigation

Metabolite will lose the class-action lawsuit against them, despite the fact their label specifies the effects of overdosing. The McDonald's lawsuit will be not be reviewed by the Supreme Court. Diana Ross will receive a slap on the wrist for her DUI.

Celebrities

Jennifer Lopez will divorce/break it off with Ben Affleck by November. She will then begin a relationship with either Eminem or her personal trainer. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston will experience bumps in their marriage due to her decision to do yet another season of Friends yet she will become pregnant during the last half of the year. Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake will continue taking potshots at eachother through their medium of poorly written lyrics until she has a nervous breakdown reported by TSG and the Enquirer. Tom Cruise gets back together with Nicole Kidman causing Penelope Cruz to cryogenically freeze herself *see "Open Your Eyes"*.

Europe

The European Union will continue to support America, however Gerhardt Shroeder will keep embarassing his country and himself by making snide remarks about W. Bush. Tony Blair will NOT continue in his position of Prime Minister as the UK exists in the wake of recent Anti-American protests. A new, less American friendly government will arise in Parliment following his ouster. Prince William will become engaged to  the heiress of Virgin Airlines, and another attempt will be made on Prince Harry's life.

N. Korea

North Korea will not successfully join with South Korea. The US will attack N.Korea and topple the government following an outbreak of "Burning Semen Syndrome" among troops stationed in the area.

Iraq

Saddam Hussein will throw the UN inspectors out of Iraq now that the US is demanding stiffer terms of the UN. Kofi Annan will give into the US following the Security Council's revision of the the US requests. He will then point out the US's faults,attacking the low test scores of american schools, despite the fact he attended a US college, Macalaster College. Bush will not be amused.

Economy

Hooters Air will fill the gap being left as most commercial airlines go south. They will become a commercial airline following their initial success as a charter company. AFA (the largest flight attendent union and a sub-division of AFL-CIO) will sue in conjunction witht he ACLU. Litigation is pending. K-Mart will continue to claim bankruptcy, however no more stores will be closed as consumers flock to buy reduced items
We think therefore we are, therefore, are we what we think? ewwww

What's Looming (5.00 / 1) (#142)
by cr8dle2grave on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 06:41:28 PM EST

Politics:

  • France will be the target of a medium size terrorist attack (>200 deaths). In an attempt to stave off the migration of voters to the right, the establishment will implement tougher immigration controls and begin a crackdown on Arab and Islamic groups with ties to militant organizations in the Middle East and North Africa. Much effort will be spent explaining that this really is somehow different than the US Patriot Act, but I expect that, by the end of the year, we will be witness to open discussions of a policy implementing "western hegemony with a human face."

  • Sweden will continue to maintain the moral high ground among developed nations, shaming the rest of us with their enlightened social democracy, their good intentions, and their exceedingly sleek and modern industrial design and furniture. The world's more primitive nations will continue to tolerate their condescending ways, so long as they keep breeding such beautiful women.

  • The US will attack Iraq and the Republican Guard will factionalize and turn against each other. The whole thing will be over rather quickly, eliciting a collective "Is that it?" from the world community. The US will immediately begin backing out of any promises it has made to rebuild Iraq and low intensity civil war and a perpetual reign of UN peacekeeping forces will be initiated. The lot of the average Iraqi will improve just slightly.

  • Israelis and Palestinians will continue killing one another.

  • Student protests in Iran will get bolder and the civil government will make some real gains by establishing some degree of direct control over the military and the revolutionary guard. Expect the emergence of civilian courts in '04. It will eventually come out that the reigning theocrats agreed to a power sharing arrangement with the civil government in order to avert a military coup.

  • The Republicans will squander their control of congress fighting amongst themselves over school prayer amendments and the like. Substantive Federal tort reform legislation will not happen. They will go on to lose control of the Senate in '04.

  • No viable Democratic contender for the Presidency will emerge.

  • China and Russia will take care of the North Korea problem. In exchange for this, Russia will get even more money from the IMF and the US will begin making very timid statements in support of an eventual reunification of China and Taiwan.

NHL (the only professional sport that matters):
mostly Avalanche predictions, because thems my boys


  • The Colorado Avalanche will make a comeback in the second half of the season and will win, by a margin of less than 4 points, their 9th consecutive division title (setting the NHL record).

  • Dallas will be the first seed in the Western Conference, win yet another 7 game series against Colorado in the Conference Final, and go on to win the final series in 5 games (proving yet again, for those who weren't watching last year, that it is possible to buy the Stanley Cup).

  • Detroit will go into the playoffs as 2nd or 3rd seed, and lose in the second round to Colorado.

  • The Minnesota Wild will actually make it to the Playoffs and the L.A. Kings will not.

  • Colorado GM Pierre Lacroix will pull off yet another blockbuster just-before-the-deadline trade, exchanging Tanguay and Skoula for Marty Lapointe.

  • Patrick Roy, after playing what was statistically the worst regular season of his career, will announce his retirement before the start of training camp for the '03 -'04 season.


  • Ottawa will stay atop the Eastern Conference for the regular season, but New Jersey will prevail in the playoffs.


---
Unity of mankind means: No escape for anyone anywhere. - Milan Kundera


Dear god (none / 0) (#160)
by rusty on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:56:52 PM EST

Patty Roy is still playing? What is he, like 112 now?

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Yep (none / 0) (#167)
by cr8dle2grave on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:36:36 AM EST

Roy is definitely a member of the old guard. I think he's 37 or 38, but up until this year he has managed to steadily improve his performance each year. Last year he surpassed all of Sawchuk's major records, becoming the winingest goaltender in NHL history, and just last month he captured the record for the most regular season games played by a goalie (he took the lead a few years ago for the most post-season games played by a goaltender). Last year he carried the Avalanche through 3 separate 7 game series in the post-season (Colorado lost 7-1 to Detroit in game 7 of the Western Conference Finals).

I hope -- and it is this hope that is motivating my prediction -- he has the foresight to pull out before the inevitable decline really sets in.

---
Unity of mankind means: No escape for anyone anywhere. - Milan Kundera


[ Parent ]
Roy is still good (none / 0) (#176)
by fluxrad on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 09:21:03 AM EST

Note that the Avs are having a statistically bad season right now, so Roy is taking a lot of shots and he's still at a .909 save percentage.

I think everything's going to turn around w/ Granato in the driver's seat.

oh, and fwiw - we should not have lost that farking game to Florida last night.

--
"It is seldom liberty of any kind that is lost all at once."
-David Hume
[ Parent ]
I predict that this year I won't make any. . . (4.00 / 1) (#143)
by kfg on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 06:46:55 PM EST

predictions because it's a silly thing to do. Oh, wait. Shit, fucked up again. KFG

I predict (3.00 / 1) (#146)
by anyonymous [35789] on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 07:52:28 PM EST

That given the odds, I will find another girl to have euphoric intercourse with once again.

Oh, and Microsoft will have many more court dates, and Apple will still suck.

My shot (4.00 / 1) (#147)
by nomoreh1b on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:03:48 PM EST

The H-1b expansion will not be renewed in 2003--but illegal immigration will continue at a high level. If the US invades Iraq, there will be major domestic terrorist incidents in the US and a major act of sabotage related to US infrastructure. By the end of 2003, Joe Leiberman will be the clear Democratic front runner for the 2004 nomination. US unemployment will continue above 5% through the end of 2003. The Japanese economy will start a turn-around after its 10 year slump.

Leiberman (5.00 / 1) (#204)
by fenix down on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 04:18:52 AM EST

He's got no chance in hell. The presidency has too much of a Southern bias these days. It's gonna be Edwards. Those two and maybe Kerry will fight it out, basically fucking all their careers. Edwards will win the candidacy by being wishy-washy enough not to piss off anyone, and he'll run with jack shit as a platform, while echoing basically everything Bush says.

He'll get sucked dry by Nader and Sharpton, who people will vote for out of hunger for some semblance of an ideology. Either of them could get 5%, since Democrats are pretty resigned to 4 more years of Bush.

Ok, I'm kind of a year too far off there. Back to '03, I think Hilary will get people mad at her again. Either she'll continue to do nothing but whore herself out for contributions or she'll get to work and do something, which, let's face it, will piss people off no matter what it is. She could push the "I love pie" act and people would still get pissed about that goddamn liberal bitch and her shady pie-eating conspiracy.

And since I'm already offtopic, I also predict that Cablevision will jack my cable up another $5 a month, broadband will become cheaper and faster everywhere except my house, where it will remain slow and obscenely overpriced, the deli will run out of the good turkey again, there will be no draft until Osama conquers Delaware, since they'd have to deal with the women issue, and Al-Jazeera will have the best coverage of the war in Iraq, which will fail to shame CNN into shape.

[ Parent ]

Major depression goes mainstream (3.50 / 2) (#151)
by Jim Tour on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 08:58:50 PM EST

Millions of North Americans suddenly begin saying "Oh why bother?". Prozac and Zoloft are mass produced in crystalline form and used in most households mixed in salt shakers.

Prozac in salt? (none / 0) (#166)
by Icehouseman on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:29:08 AM EST

Interesting idea. Prozac is fucking expensive. I can imagine the price for said salt. One bottle of salt will end up costing about $75. Zoloft is a nice happy drug too. Great fun.
----------------
Bush's $3 trillion state is allegedly a mark of "anti-government bias" on the right. -- Anthony Gregory
[ Parent ]
What the hell (4.00 / 1) (#155)
by broken77 on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 09:33:58 PM EST

Iraq
We will go to war in January or February of 2003. Most likely January (the next 30 days). The mission will continue into the early summer. We will successfully depose Saddam's regime, and it will go easier than people are suggesting it will. Mostly because we will find out that most of his armed forces don't really support him, and will give up easily when forced into the situation. We will have a military occupation of the country throughout the rest of the year. Late in the year or early the following year we will allow them to have their own government (which will be headed by someone of our choosing).
North Korea
Nothing substantial will happen, although the media in the U.S. will continue to make a big deal out of it until the public gets tired of hearing it.
Cuba
Castro will live to see another year. Nothing will change.
Venezuela
The situation will get worse, and finally Chavez will be ousted in another coup attempt. The U.S. will come out in favor of this new government immediately.
Colombia
The "Drug War" intensifies. The Colombia issue will start to gain public consciousness in the U.S. because it will start to gain more media coverage as the government starts talking more about it.
Brazil
Brazil will fall into debt, and will experience some of the same troubles as Venezuela. There will be protests both for and against Lula. Their government will come under criticism from the U.S. government, much like Chavez. But the U.S. will not work to undermine their government as much they have Chavez'.
South Africa
The AIDS problem will get worse instead of better.
Iran
There will be a lot of talk, but nothing major will happen. Protests will increase, but will not accomplish much. The U.S. won't issue any "fighting words" towards Iran... For now.
Drugs
Ottawa will decriminalize marijuana. There will be no gains in the U.S. on drug reform. Uncertain about setbacks.

We will see an increase in opium-based drugs (mostly heroin) in the U.S. coming from increased production in Afghanistan.

Supreme Court
Both Rehnquist and Stephens will retire. Bush will appoint 2 justices with very conservative leanings, similar to Scalia and Thomas. O'Connor will stay on board until after the next presidential elections. Soon after, Rowe v. Wade will be challenged. Outcome of that uncertain.
Corporate Scandals
Nothing major will happen this year. The public has already mostly forgotten about it, and it doesn't sell anymore.

I'm starting to doubt all this happy propaganda about Islam being a religion of peace. Heck, it's just as bad as Christianity. -- Dphitz

I forgot (none / 0) (#165)
by broken77 on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:28:16 AM EST

Elections
Senator John Kerry of Massachussetts will win the Democratic nomination to run for president.
Osama Bin Laden
We will hear from Bin Laden again, but will not find him.

I'm starting to doubt all this happy propaganda about Islam being a religion of peace. Heck, it's just as bad as Christianity. -- Dphitz
[ Parent ]

Pointless Personal Attacks (5.00 / 8) (#156)
by RyoCokey on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:11:24 PM EST

Alright, time for my predictions of what befall various kuro5hin users in the coming year:

Baldrson will commit suicide after finding a remarkably strong correlation between his posts and the percentage of black voters in Kansas.

greenrd will be photographed hurling a burning tire through a Starbucks window.

snowcold quits his job at McDonalds after commenting about having to deal with inferior peoples.

jjayson quotes Leviticus 22:24 during a kuro5hin post.

Demiurge spends much of the year in deep thought after having been informed by other people he is Jewish and Republican, two things he'd never been aware of before, oddly enough.

rusty is told yet again to STFU and get his own site if he wants to make suggestions about things to change.

psychologist spends much of the year deep in the jungles of Colombia, fighting the right wing paramilitaries. Or that's at least what his mother tells people he's doing when they hear strange thumpings from the basement.

His meager linguistic skills finally exausted, turmeric resorts to banging his head against the keyboard repeatedly rather than typing. His posts become almost 150% more insightful.

tiger dies in a terrible accident attempting to repair his oft publicized "male genital mutilation injury." Officers at the scene can only quote Gary Larson in describing the sight as "grizzly, yet strangely hilarious."

valeko spends most of his time in the school library trying to convince strangers on ICQ that Marx was right on the money.



"Like all important issues, gun control is an emotional issue that will be resolved by politics, belief, and conviction, not by a resort to "facts'." -
ICQ? Strangers? What the ... ?? [n/t] (none / 0) (#185)
by valeko on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 07:22:11 PM EST


"Hey, what's sanity got going for it anyways?" -- infinitera, on matters of the heart
[ Parent ]

It seems that I'm also.... (5.00 / 1) (#202)
by Demiurge on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 02:11:24 AM EST

a conservative Christian bible-thumper, as I'm more of a thoughful Bertand Russell-esque atheist, as compared to someone who takes his philosophical queues from Trent Reznor.

[ Parent ]
Oh, so now... (5.00 / 1) (#203)
by RyoCokey on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 02:50:05 AM EST

You're an athiest, jewish republican? They'll have you sitting in a dark room planning the rule of King George the 2nd and the American Empire before the month is out.



"Like all important issues, gun control is an emotional issue that will be resolved by politics, belief, and conviction, not by a resort to "facts'." - [ Parent ]
hmph (3.00 / 1) (#158)
by calimehtar on Thu Jan 02, 2003 at 11:27:06 PM EST

Predictions aren't fun unless they stretch the limits of credibility.

  1. Bush will invade Iraq with support from Blair and scattered support from elsewhere. The USA will depose Saddam, but the aftermath will last for a long time. Peace will not come to the Middle East.
  2. There will be a major terrorist attack on France.
  3. The US dollar will lose 1/3 of its value.
  4. Bush's popularity will decline only a little in America


Just one (4.00 / 3) (#161)
by rusty on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:07:19 AM EST

A characteristically Maine-based prediction: Former Maine governor Angus King will return to his original home in the Democratic party (he governed Maine as an independent), and easily beat out Senator Whatshisname and Congressman Thatotherguy for the presidential nomination. The nation will be so taken aback by a Presidential candidate who appears, in some instances, to talk sense that millions of Americans will flee south to Mexico, convinced they've accidentally moved to Canada in their sleep. Voter turnout for the '04 election will consequently hit record lows, except in Florida, where 3.6 trillion voters will put Bush back in office in what CNN will describe as "a tragic landslide," and Fox News will call "a triumphant re-affirmation of the leadership of our Supreme Lord and Master, may he reign for a thousand years."

____
Not the real rusty
Presidental election? (3.00 / 2) (#164)
by Icehouseman on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:26:02 AM EST

We're talking about 2003 here man. Save the 2004 stuff for next year. But if you care, I think a Libertarian will be elected in 2004. That would be...different.
----------------
Bush's $3 trillion state is allegedly a mark of "anti-government bias" on the right. -- Anthony Gregory
[ Parent ]
Elections (none / 0) (#184)
by rusty on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 06:06:02 PM EST

By the start of 2004, all the major candidates will be known. So who's going to run really is a 2003 issue. I did go a bit beyond that in predicting the actual election, I admit, but allow me a little poetic license. :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
My prediction: (3.00 / 1) (#162)
by pseudostatic on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:22:28 AM EST

Nothing interesting will happen, and most things won't change. Bush will continue pushing for war on Iraq, even if no weapons are found. If bin Laden is found, very few people will actually care.

Korea and such. (2.00 / 1) (#163)
by Icehouseman on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 12:24:00 AM EST

Why North Korea is no big deal: They don't have oil; at least not as much as countries such as Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and all those nice countries do. So I predict also the diplomatic solution with North Korea.

I think 2003 will be a rather uneventful year. Nothing much happening. I predict I will have my first girlfriend by this time next year. I'm basing this on NOTHING. I'm also predicting that someday my roommate will get it right in that I want Reese's Pieces; not miniatures.

I predict the New York Yankees will win the World Series. The Green Bay Packers the Super Bowl. Don't care about NBA or NHL. If this is true; Packers and Yankees, I will do something because I hate both teams. (Packer and Yankee fans have the ability to usually be complete assholes).

The economy will be fine. After all that Enron and Marth Stewart shit; I think we deserve a good year.

Some really good Sci-Fi show will get on the air and be canceled after one season by short-sighted execs who don't care about gaining loyal fan base. Meanwhile Enterprise will finish season 2 and start season 3 this fall. Also Sci-Fi channel will continue to show "Dream Team" and "Roswell" for some stupid reason or other.

Also I predict that the light bulb in my lamp will burn out soon.

That's all I can think off for now. Get back to me in 365 days for the rest of my predictions for 2003. :-)
----------------
Bush's $3 trillion state is allegedly a mark of "anti-government bias" on the right. -- Anthony Gregory

Enterprise (none / 0) (#189)
by A Trickster Imp on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 07:59:40 PM EST

> Meanwhile Enterprise will finish season 2 and
> start season 3 this fall.

...when Hoshi and T'pow finally hit it off, you know, that way (and T'pop finally cuts her hair decently) thus extending the lesbian saliva-string kiss standard into a weekly basis, which is especially nice given the sight of their very large lips slamming together, soft flesh rippling like Fat Albert and Santa belly boppin'.

Archer dies horribly due to contractual issues and one George Sulu takes the helm.

[ Parent ]

Well, you beat me to one of my predictions (3.50 / 2) (#171)
by onemorechip on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 02:46:20 AM EST

I was going to make three predictions, and the first was going to be that support for Bush will drop down below 50%. Since you've already predicted that, I'll add that the main factors leading to that will be increased unemployment and decreasing confidence in the administration's foreign policies. There may even be a significant failure in foreign policy, but I won't go that far out on the limb; I only suggest the possibility.

My second prediction is that the S&P 500 index will gain between 4% and 6% by the end of the year. I think people's natural tendencies to speculate on longer term growth will slowly begin to overcome their current stock market fears -- at least, for those people who can still afford to invest.

My third is a self-referential prediction that only one of my three predictions will come true.

On the "axis of evil" countries, I don't have any predictions because I'm just as stumped as most people. I have some gut feelings but with rather low confidence levels: I think war with Iraq is somewhat likely but not "inevitable" (people should think about the literal meaning of that word before they use it). I doubt that the inspectors will find a "smoking gun" or that the Bush administration will present any of the evidence it claims to have, but Bush may use some other pretext. War with either of the other two nations in question seems considerably less likely. (Maybe Bush will pull out that possibility in the 2004 election year.)
--------------------------------------------------

I did my essay on mushrooms. It's about cats.

joegee's predictions for 2002 (3.00 / 1) (#172)
by Chuq on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 04:27:57 AM EST

Joegee got more right than you suspect.. al Qaeda will move violence into Europe in an attempt to weaken support for anti-terror efforts, and a major European structure (or event) will be severely damaged. - Correct except for one not so minor detail - it was Bali, not Europe.

bin Laden will *not* be found. - correct

al Qaeda will be declared exterminated, and a new organization will takes its place as the international media bogeyman. - not declared exterminated, but focus has been put onto Iraq moreso that the former al Qaeda hideouts.

A cloned human will be born. A scientist will be arrested shortly thereafter. - I believe the Raelian clone was just a few days before Dec 31, 2002? And the scientist was arrested today or yesterday?

At least one major satellite launch will fail. One launched from Japan this year, IIRC?? Or am I thinking of something else?

By the end of '02 17" LCD displays will fall below $500 in price. not aware of USD prices - AFAIK they are still $1500+ AUD.

Chip speeds in raw megahertz will hit 3000 or greater. - not quite!

eBay will take advantage of the recovery and seek diversification in a non-Internet related field. eBay branded 3-d real estate offices? - It IS still internet related, but they diversified a little when they bought PayPal.

One more major U.S. air carrier will fold. - Again not following US happenings, but I thought this did happen??



Launcher fail (none / 0) (#173)
by C0vardeAn0nim0 on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 06:21:57 AM EST

It was a french Ariane V.

it failed shortly after launch from Kourou base in french guiana dec. 11 and exploded over the atlantic with two satelites on board.

http://www.comofazer.net
[ Parent ]

Chip speeds did reach 3000 MHz! (none / 0) (#182)
by infraoctarine on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 05:06:36 PM EST

The Pentium 4, 3.06 GHz was released in December.

[ Parent ]
LCDs are there (none / 0) (#188)
by A Trickster Imp on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 07:49:18 PM EST

> By the end of '02 17" LCD displays will fall
> below $500 in price. not aware of USD prices -
> AFAIK they are still $1500+ AUD.

There is a current TV ad in the US where you can get a complete reasonable GHz computer including printer and 17" LCD (!) monitor for under a thousand.

Don't know the pure LCD price, but it has to be pretty close to only half that.

[ Parent ]

Posh and Becks (3.50 / 2) (#175)
by PrettyBoyTim on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:25:36 AM EST

I predict Posh and Becks will have another child, and name him/her 'Hiawatha'.

2003 in a nutshell (4.33 / 3) (#177)
by thasmudyan on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 10:24:56 AM EST

Allright, my turn. Lets go.
  • The Bush administration will attack Iraq [90%] but Hussein will remain in office anyway [70%], Bush will also be around for another turn [100%], Democrats will fail miserably [100%] and begin moving towards a more republican attitude to gain new support [90%]
  • Civil liberties will continue to decrease, desastrous anti-privacy (ehem I meant: anti-terrorism) laws will be passed [90%] and still nobody will give a shit [100%]
  • There will be a major anti-piracy initiative [80%], new laws and regulations will be passed to undermine fair-use-rights [100%]. There will also be at least one major crack-down on a P2P network (very probably kazaa or the donkey) [100%].
  • There will be a major natural desaster (probably weather-related) [90%] in or in vicinity of Asia [80%]
  • NASA and space activity in general will continue to shrink [100%], ISS will be temporarily closed [80%], space exploration will be increasingly viewed as not important [100%], overall technological and scientific progress will begin a major slowdown [90%]
  • American science (at least publications) will be made more and more conform to religion [100%], the beginning of a anti-secularity trend that will last as long as there is a republican president [70%]
  • Computing power will increase but hit a minor speed bump, processors will reach around 4.5 GHz [90%]
  • A major american celebrity will die [80%]
  • The European currency (union) will spiral downward [90%], the beginning of a major inflation that will cripple Europe for more than 3 years [70%]
  • There will be minor (3-4) an odd series of plane crashes [90%] related to a common cause (technical or otherwise) [80%]
  • Linux will gain some mainstream popularity as desktop OS [90%], be supported by more governments [100%] but Microsoft will make more progress to cancel this effect out [90%], .NET will gain followers slowly but steadily [90%]


not bad so far (none / 0) (#223)
by Baldwin atomic on Mon Jan 20, 2003 at 04:44:57 AM EST

Kazaa's already in trouble, so you're right on with that one

As for 'natural disaster in or near asia', you may as well say "the sun will shine tomorrow somewhere in the world"


=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
Opinions not necessarily those of the author.
[ Parent ]
2003 predictions (4.33 / 3) (#179)
by BOredAtWork on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 01:28:13 PM EST

  • Reality TV will still get ratings. Fox's new show, Joe Millionaire, will bring in the hard-to-hook 18-35 year old male demographic. Guys love to see gold digging women get their dreams dashed, girls love laugh at the idea of finding "true love" on a sleazy TV show, and this show will keep everyone talking.
  • Britney Spears will tank. She was the leader of the teeny pop movement, but now that she's no longer a teeny, and with the likes of real musicians Vanessa Carleton and Michelle Branch leading the way, teenage girls will start to pick up the guitar, and Britney's departure from the best seller rack will happen by mid year.
  • International Politics will remain the same. The French will continue to talk funny but make good wine, the Swiss will remain cowards, Ireland will continue to exist soley to export Guinness to my favorite bar, and Israel and Palestine will continue to kill eachother over a small and inhospitable land, because God Likes It There. The US of A will, of course, remain the One True Superpower, and lead the world gently by the hand into the future, by making $1 bottles of Coca Cola and Big Macs available to starving nations with an average yearly per capita income of $2 per year.
  • People will continue to fuck up their finances. Everyone who opens an Ameritrade account fancies themselves a brilliant strategist, and the masses will continue to Take Control of Their Finances, and promptly lose their shirts because of hot tips, glossy Investor Relations packets, and the inability to operate a calculator or understand interest rates. Average consumer credit debt will continue to rise. The American educational system will continue to stress "life skills" like kickball, and lacrosse.
  • I will not date any more crazy women. This one's easy - process of elimination.
  • The USA will declare war. Again. We like wars here. We will continue our trend of declaring "war" on nameless faceless entities such as "crime" "drugs" "terrorism" and the like, and steadfastly avoid declaring war on anything that can be located on a map, with the power to retaliate.
  • The world will lose a great rock musician. Bob Dylan, Neil Young, David Crosby, Les Paul, and others are all on the downward slope, and people will continue not to care. They will, however, watch American Idol every damned night, to see who will be the next Kelly Clarkson.


Crazy women... (none / 0) (#180)
by eyeflare on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 01:47:16 PM EST

are more plentiful than you could ever possibly imagine. Good luck with that one :)

At 165 dB your hair will catch fire.
[ Parent ]
How is that possible? (none / 0) (#197)
by broken77 on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:47:29 PM EST

...When all women are crazy?

*ducks*

I'm starting to doubt all this happy propaganda about Islam being a religion of peace. Heck, it's just as bad as Christianity. -- Dphitz
[ Parent ]

According to my crystal bong... (4.85 / 7) (#183)
by DJBongHit on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 05:53:06 PM EST

... the following events are scheduled to take place in 2003:

Politics

Bush continues to say things like, "I'm not optimistic about the possibility of avoiding war with Iraq," when he really means, "Yay, I get to blow shit up!" By no later than the end of February, he will proceed to blow shit up.

North Korea will continue to mouth off to the US. They will also get blown up.

Israelis and Palestinians will continue to blow one another to little pieces.

The current administration's trend of catering to the fundamentalist Christian population will accelerate when Congress reconvenes and Bush has free reign over pretty much the entire government.

John Ashcroft will be driven mad from being constantly taunted and heckled by the ghost of Mel Carnahan. Jerry Falwell will take over the position of Attorney General.

The US economy will continue sliding into the gutter, and Bush will announce another "economic stimulus package." The economy will be stimulated just enough to help one of Bush's college buddies buy that yacht he's had his eye on. Said yacht will be the location of an unattractive female intern's untimely death.

Bush's approval ratings will stay about 60 points higher than they should be.

Joe Lieberman will confirm that he is planning on running for office. Republicans laugh evilly while Democrats cry into their cereal.

Sports

The Packers, having used up their entire supply of "suck" against the Jets on Sunday, will proceed to make it to the NFC Championship. However, Brett Favre will slip in the shower the night before the game, spraining his wrist, and the Packers will lose to the Eagles the next day.

The Eagles and the Raiders will meet in the Super Bowl. It will be a good game.

Bill Parcells will lead the Cowboys to another glorious season of getting their asses kicked.

Several hockey players will lose teeth.

Baseball will continue to suck, as will Basketball.

Miscellaneous

After a year of painful celibacy, I will finally find a female willing to have sex with me. I will get laid a few times, then proceed to fuck it up.

My company will finally complete our first shipping product. Relatively few people will care, but I'll make some money out of the deal.

Several large lottery jackpots will be won by rednecks. The taxes they pay on their winnings will more than cover the welfare checks they receive after they blow it all.

The "Big Dig" will continue to make driving in Boston a nightmare.

Cigarette prices will increase by at least $1.50.

Bickford's in Waltham, MA will finally get that liquor license they've been talking about for so long. I will no longer be able to get any work done there.

American Idol 2 will be worse than the original. 95% of Americans will watch it.

Las Ketchup will be played every 15 minutes on every radio station in the US for about 2 weeks, after which point it will be promptly forgotten about.

Kuro5hin and Slashdot will continue to be filled with uninformed 1984 references. The people making these references will be basing them on other uninformed 1984 references rather than an actual reading of the book.

~DJBongHit

--
GNU GPL: Free as in herpes.

a few nits (none / 0) (#186)
by johnny on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 07:24:26 PM EST

As baseball does not suck, it will not continue to suck. Major League Baseball, although plagued by all the idiocies of professional sports in general, will continue to delight the more thoughtful members of the sports-watching community (all five of us).

The proposition that basketball sucks is more defensible so I won't take it head-on (that is, I will not attempt to directly refute it). But I think it's worth pointing out that the NCAA men's basketball tournament will continue to provide more fun to more watchers than any XXVIILLCM superbowls put together. And that includes the special Arrowsmith/Digitally Recreated Lawrence Welk halftime show.

Some of the references to 1984 made on Kuro5hin are quite apt.

yr frn,
jrs
Get your free download of prizewinning novels Acts of the Apostles and Cheap Complex Devices.
[ Parent ]

Hmm (none / 0) (#192)
by DJBongHit on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:09:24 PM EST

As baseball does not suck, it will not continue to suck. Major League Baseball, although plagued by all the idiocies of professional sports in general, will continue to delight the more thoughtful members of the sports-watching community (all five of us).

You just keep telling yourself that. I maintain that the only time that baseball is worth watching is when you're there at the ballpark, drinking beer and eating hot dogs. Mmm hmm.

But I think it's worth pointing out that the NCAA men's basketball tournament will continue to provide more fun to more watchers than any XXVIILLCM superbowls put together.

Yeah, college basketball is marginally better than NBA. I gotta admit that, living in Maryland and having many friends at UMD last year when they won the NCAA Championship, I had a damn good time watching the playoffs. Of course, I was working in a bar at the time, so I didn't have shit else to do other than watch basketball while I was at work.

Some of the references to 1984 made on Kuro5hin are quite apt.

Some are. Most aren't.

~DJBongHit

--
GNU GPL: Free as in herpes.

[ Parent ]
5, for having a crystal bong. (none / 0) (#191)
by jjayson on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:09:20 PM EST

Can I borrow it?
_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]
Yes (none / 0) (#193)
by DJBongHit on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 08:12:53 PM EST

If I can borrow something to smoke in it.

~DJBongHit

--
GNU GPL: Free as in herpes.

[ Parent ]
My prediction (3.00 / 1) (#187)
by kholmes on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 07:36:54 PM EST

Something unexpected will happen because you will decide to change the course of history--what? like Alan Kay once said, "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

If you treat people as most people treat things and treat things as most people treat people, you might be a Randian.
My prediction (3.00 / 2) (#198)
by ZorbaTHut on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 09:02:08 PM EST

Film studios will announce the New Hot Movies Of The Summer, Coming Soon: "Dumb and Dumb-est-er" and "No, Seriously Dude, Where's My Car, I Really Mean It This Time".

The resulting riot will level Hollywood.

um it is dumb and dumberer (n/t) (1.00 / 1) (#211)
by jmd2121 on Mon Jan 06, 2003 at 01:25:52 AM EST



[ Parent ]
LOL!!! I wouldn't be suprised.... (n/t) (none / 0) (#222)
by Baldwin atomic on Mon Jan 20, 2003 at 04:40:22 AM EST




=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
Opinions not necessarily those of the author.
[ Parent ]
Disturbing Trends (5.00 / 1) (#201)
by nalex on Fri Jan 03, 2003 at 10:18:26 PM EST

The disturbing predictions for this year (2003 is a "5" year, which is really bad, and the year of the Kangaroo which may be worse).
  • There will be a huge explosion.
  • There will be lots of dust.
  • The Anti Christ will make itself known and it WILL be a K5 member, beware!
  • Something far nastier than computer viruses will be invented.
  • A new musical genre will be invented that will be bigger than hip-hop and Andrew Lloyd Webber.
  • There will be more dust.
  • A world leader will have a heart attack and die. Poeple will think the CIA did it.
  • Somebody nice will be raised from the dead, and Elvis is just bound to be cloned a number of times.
  • Nobody will remember 2002 for much longer. Microsoft will lose money this year.
  • The economy will recover nicely, but if there is war in Iraq it will not make any difference.
  • There will be more dust.
End of vision, I have dust in my eyes.

Cynical predictions (4.50 / 4) (#205)
by epepke on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 04:23:53 AM EST

  • The U.S. will not invade Iraq by land, although airstrikes and covert operations will continue apace. Thousands of European pundits will be disappointed but will quickly find something else to gripe about. Noam Chomsky will claim that the U.S. is negligent for not having invaded Iraq.
  • A hitherto unknown cult based on the holy writ of Who Moved My Cheese? will be discovered dead of suicide by Peregrino water laced with cyanide. Their warehouse full of Power Ties will be sold at auction.
  • Microsoft will patent and rename at least five algorithms described in Knuth's The Art of Computer Programming.
  • The MPAA and RIAA will attempt to shut down libraries that loan video tapes, CDs and DVDs. Jack Valenti will testify before congress that public libraries represent the same threat to content producers as Hitler did to the Jews.
  • Two major members of NAAFA will die of complications related to Type II diabetes. Members will claim it is because of discrimination by the medical establishment.
  • The Food Pyramid, instituted in 1991 to replace the Four Food Groups under claims that the latter was a tool of the corporations, and now attacked itself as a tool of the corporations, will be replaced by a new food chart. This will be attacked as a tool of the corporations as soon as people figure out that some fruits and vegetables are grown outside the U.S.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


My 31337 kuro5hin predictions (none / 0) (#207)
by hbw on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 07:54:24 AM EST

  • DesiredUsername will come up with yet another ambitious pet project to work on in his basement.
  • rusty will notice the lack of money shortly after he bought that fine new monocle, and start off the (at this point yearly) fundraiser.
  • That AOL Guy will finally work out the basics of HTML and become a "PROGRAMMING EXPERT".
  • thrurler will kick some more anti-communism argumention pro-libertarian ass.

I have discovered a truly marvelous signature, which unfortunately the margin is not large enough to contain.

hmmm... (none / 0) (#208)
by johwsun on Sat Jan 04, 2003 at 09:24:40 AM EST

...if you calculate the sum of all the letters of all the comments and articles and diaries, here in k5, from 13-1-2003 00:00:00 until 13-1-2004 23:59:59, you will find out that the result is the number 13. I am talking EET.

If it will be 14, this is due to this comment.

;-)

Mine... (none / 0) (#212)
by NFW on Mon Jan 06, 2003 at 03:09:31 AM EST

UN inspectors will not find evidence of Iraq's WMD before the deadline. The US will press for more time for them to search. Evidence will be found, a batch of bombs will be dropped on various places that the US suspects might be Saddam's shelters. One of the bombs will kill Saddam, and the rest of his government will surrender.

Serious questions will arise about the evidence, its validity, its significance, and/or the manner in which it was found. One or more of the bombs will neither kill any military personnel, nor destroy no military equipment, but will kill a lot of civilians, including many children. The former will haunt the US for about 6 months, then will be relegated to conspiracy-theory sidelines. The latter will haunt the US for about two months.

PC processor improvements will fall short of Moore's Law. Not for technical reasons, just because the market will shrink and because Intel will have no serious competition. People won't mind though, because they'll be much more interested in PDAs, which will reach 1GHz by the end of the year.

The Saudi regime will fall to Islamist fanatics, as oppressive as the Taliban and more agressive than Saddam. The US will make this government the new focus of the war on terror, in an effort to avert an attack on Israel by the former Saudi Arabia. Bin Laden's involvment will be suspected, but that won't be proven.

North Korea will abandon its nuclear program after the reactors it was promised in the 1994 agreement are finally delivered.

Lithium polymer batteries will replace methanol as the preferred power source for radio controlled aircraft. Fuel enthusiasts will continue running the old engines, just for nostalgia.

Colombia will fall to an alliance of drug lords and marxists. The war on terror will bifurcate, with massive military actions in both SA and Colombia.

An all-wheel-drive sports car / SUV hybrid (don't call it a station wagon) will sell like hotcakes, and the SUV market will drop off rapidly. The new car will burn almost as much fuel, but it will handle better and be much easier to park.

A piece of software that mimics building blocks (but with easily motorizable joints) will become spectacularly popular. It will be mine, of course. This will happen right after I open-source it, but I'll get stinking rich anyhow in some indirect fashion. Then I will wake up and go back to my day job.


--
Got birds?


And one more... (none / 0) (#213)
by NFW on Mon Jan 06, 2003 at 03:17:00 AM EST

The US airline industry will crumble, or at least begin to, before the government steps in and imposes regulations substantially similar to those that preceded the deregulation. Air fares will go up about 50%.


--
Got birds?


[ Parent ]

More Picks (none / 0) (#214)
by SLTrigger on Mon Jan 06, 2003 at 04:43:08 AM EST

Politics

The Republicans will not remember how to conduct business as the majority party, and will squander their legislative domination until 2004, when the Democrats will (narrowly) regain control of at least the Senate.

Bush will, however, remain in power, having defeated either Edwards or Dean. The election will be close, but not as close as 2000. Bush will win the popular vote, which they will use to make Dems quiet down about Gore.

There will be a brief, abortive war in Iraq. Bush will begin to commit troops, then withdraw them in favor of supporting the doomed Kurds, in the face of massive domestic opposition. Gone from the collective public memory will be the fact that most polls trumpeting "support" for the war in Iraq were predicated on low U.S. casualties and international support.

North Korea will negotiate peace. The DPRK will extend the olive branch (without shutting down any nuclear reactors), and the Bush administration will have to allow them some re-entry to the world community. Our troops will remain in South Korea in the face of increasing popular opposition there.

Terrorist attack on France? Not buying it.

Finance

At least one more major company will be unable to cover it's tracks, and will fall apart a la Enron. It doesn't really matter which one; many large companies are likely at risk.

The economy will continue to produce conflicting, vaccuous statements from "experts," resulting in the further fall of consumer confidence.

Sports

American Football will continue to gain attention, on a U.S. and international level (it's grown a lot in Germany, for those unaware.) The Falcons will be eliminated by a large margin only a week after crushing Green Bay, Tampa will be out at the end of it's first game, and the 49ers, behind a balanced offensive attack, will defeat the Eagles and win the Super Bowl.

At least one Portland Trailblazer will be convicted of a felony offense. In a huge upset, a team from the Eastern Conference will win a championship.

Baseball will continue to decline, despite Bud Selig stepping down. The Twins will win the Series.

It's only gonna get weirder, so let's get on with the show!
Portland Jailblazers (none / 0) (#215)
by jjayson on Mon Jan 06, 2003 at 09:42:53 PM EST

At least one Portland Trailblazer will be convicted of a felony offense.
A felony? Wow. Usually they get off with just some misdemeanors. Do have any predictions for which one?

p.s., the girl on Fear Factor right now, Nicole, is damn fine.

_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]

Tough Question (none / 0) (#216)
by SLTrigger on Tue Jan 07, 2003 at 04:15:43 AM EST

First off, I don't think it will be Rasheed Wallace.  He's an idiot and a hothead, but he hasn't really assaulted anyone (off the court, anyway), and his temper seems to be coming under control.

A safer bet is Ruben Patterson, whose diverse record includes sexual offenses, drug offenses, and assaulting his wife.  He was reccently arrested on further drug charges, so the conviction could be on the way.

Then there's Damon Stoudamire, a generally upstanding, community-serving exception on the Blazers.  He was caught with more than a brick pound of marijuana hidden in the insulation of his house a few months ago, and was with Ruben Patterson during his reccent arrest.  A longshot, but a potential winner.

Another sleeper is power forward/center Dale Davis.  While it hasn't received a lot of press, he's been involved in a couple on-court fights, and he seems to play the game while perpetually snarling.  An indicator of off the court behavior?

Speaking for myself, my money's on Patterson.  The guy works hard on the court, but he's a fool off (heck, as well as on) it.

It's only gonna get weirder, so let's get on with the show!
[ Parent ]

the brick of weed (none / 0) (#217)
by jjayson on Tue Jan 07, 2003 at 06:25:39 AM EST

I remember that hitting SportsCenter. I wonder  what is going to happen to that. That there is quite a bit of pot, not something the DA is likely to turn around and ignore.

I don't know how this works out, but when you type "Portland Jailblazers" into Google, the team page comes up as the first hit. I find that funny for some reason. You can get all the arrest records from www.Jailblazers.info, if you need to do more research.

_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

[ Parent ]

My predictions (5.00 / 1) (#218)
by karb on Tue Jan 07, 2003 at 04:03:11 PM EST

Battle of the websites

Finally recognizing the insult of k5's naming scheme, met4filter changes it's name to met6filter. K5 then becomes kuro7hin. Beaten and humiliated, met6filter folds.

I am certain these things will happen

The Steelers win the superbowl. The Penguins win the stanley cup. My wife quits watching reality shows.

Big Brother

The government announces a new policy that alters the implementation of something they have been doing for at least fifty years. Privacy activists and libertarians object strongly and shoot it down while remaining ignorant that it already exists and that the rebirth provides opportunities to add more safeguards and/or oversight.

Healthy political conflict management

Almost everybody will continue to believe that winning a political conflict is only fully realized by having their opponents lose. Purely coincidentally, almost everybody fails to get much of anything they want in the political arena.

Go Bill Clinton, Go Bill Clinton, Go Bill Clinton go!

Something else will happen that is bad. Bill Clinton will talk about how he dealt with the problem, and what a bad job GWB is doing dealing with it. The problem will have been either caused, compounded, or completely ignored by the Clinton administration.

Why do you even visit a discussion site if you insist on having something up your ass

At least three or four separate people will harshly insult me for daring to post an idea I've recently spitballed, read somewhere, or believe based purely on intuition. (possibly in the very near future) The joy of the sport of internet debate becomes the social crime of expressing controversial memes and I avoid k5 for at least a little while.
--
Who is the geek who would risk his neck for his brother geek?

Never! (none / 0) (#219)
by SLTrigger on Tue Jan 07, 2003 at 05:36:04 PM EST

Beaten and humiliated, met6filter folds.

Never! Long live Met8filter!

It's only gonna get weirder, so let's get on with the show!
[ Parent ]
go kuro9hin !!! (n/t) (none / 0) (#221)
by Baldwin atomic on Mon Jan 20, 2003 at 04:36:19 AM EST




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Opinions not necessarily those of the author.
[ Parent ]
Predictions for 2003 | 223 comments (209 topical, 14 editorial, 0 hidden)
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