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[P]
Quotes

By Gutza in Culture
Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 10:47:03 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

This is a list of "less known" quotes I enjoyed ("less known" is obviously a personal opinion--less known to my knowledge). Feel free to add yours in comments.

And yes, I know, we on K5 are all too smart to rely on other people's quotes because we have our own Linux fortunes--so all I'm asking is just take a stroll through the ones I'm proposing and judge for yourselves.


"His ignorance is encyclopedic"
- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

"Give me chastity and continence, but not yet."
- Saint Augustine (354-430)

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) [AFAIK, this was a sign hung above his desk]

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) [yes, I know, this is a classic--but couldn't resist posting it]

"This book fills a much-needed gap."
- Moses Hadas (1900-1966) in a review

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
- e e cummings (1894-1962) [nah, this has to be about the early years of this decade]

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947) [OMG, this guy is so right, he should've been a shrink]

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."
- Edsgar Dijkstra [I find no real educational value to this quote, but it was too cool to miss--the more observant ones among you would notice I'm pretending this K5 story to be an educating experience, while the more spirited ones will notice I'm just having a good time commenting famous quotes]

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
- Bjarne Stroustrup [idem]

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.) [~2.5K years later, we still don't seem to get it]

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
- Steven Wright

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
- Walt Disney (1901-1966)

"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address, January 20, 1953

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) [yeah, sounds obvious, yet check out when this guy lived. Then check out who he was]

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
- Carl Sagan [I personally see it as a paraphrase of the famous Archimedes' "give me a place to stand" etc., only this one stirs imagination better IMHO]

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."
- Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.) [the earliest proof of the concept I know of]

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti [in case you didn't know, he was a race car driver]

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947) [did I already say this guy should've been a shrink?]

"God, please save me from your followers!"
- Bumper Sticker

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates (470-399 B.C.) [yeah, I know, it's a classic again--but for those who knew it, it's a reminder, and for those who didn't, they should have]

"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
- Gore Vidal

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."
- Guy Davenport

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
- Paul Dirac (1902-1984)

"I would have made a good Pope."
- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994) [George W, George W, they took it from you!]

"The mistakes are all waiting to be made."
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position [George...]

"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."
- C. A. R. Hoare

"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"What do you take me for, an idiot?"
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) [you should also read this story if you don't know about his "censored" play due to the title]

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

"No one can earn a million dollars honestly."
- William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) [things have changed since. cough.]

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"I have read your book and much like it."
- Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

"The covers of this book are too far apart."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
- Goethe (1749-1832)

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945) [cough]

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) [poor guy, never knew about rap]

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

"Vote early and vote often."
- Al Capone (1899-1947) [I've also seen this attributed to an actual election campaign some time in the early 40's or so]

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone (1899-1947) [a classic again, but could I miss it?]

"The gods too are fond of a joke."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."
- Gloria Leonard [not really IMHO, but it's still a great quote]

"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man."
- Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben

"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
- Woody Allen (1935-) [ok, so you knew this one, but aren't you happy I reminded it to you?]

"Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives."
- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
- Fred Allen (1894-1956)

"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take."
- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"Why don't you write books people can read?"
- Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941) [check out the credits before deciding it's stupid]

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized."
- Sun Tzu

"Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."
- Perelman

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying

"I think it would be a good idea."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers (1879-1935) [double cough]

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 [classic again, but it's sooo sweet]

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy [nice quote, but nonsensically attributed to this poorly gifted guy]

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) [uh-oh]

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Yogi Berra [W, you listening?]

"My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate."
- Unibomber Theodore Kaczynski, when asked in court what his current profession was

"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

"He would make a lovely corpse."
- Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when was informed that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) [just for the record, the same guy also said (in summary) that one who can't see a miracle every day is a blind one (speaking both about religion and about natural human curiosity)]

"If all men were rich, all men would be poor."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Young men are apt to think themselves wise enough, as drunken men are apt to think themselves sober enough."
- Philip Dormer Stanhope And I'll finish this piece with a fine excerpt from the Linux fortunes:

Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
Oh, and have a nice day!
- Bryce Nesbitt '84

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Woody Allen
o Genius 15%
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Display: Sort:
Quotes | 220 comments (184 topical, 36 editorial, 0 hidden)
Needs More Yogi Berra (4.75 / 8) (#2)
by jjayson on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 10:48:50 PM EST

    *  "This is like deja vu all over again."

    * "You can observe a lot just by watching."

    * "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

    * "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.

    * "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

    * "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

    * "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

    * "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

    * "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

    * "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

    * "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."

    * "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

    * "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

    * "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.

    * Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."

    * "I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."

    * "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

    * "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

    * "I made a wrong mistake."

    * "Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.

    * "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.

    * "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

    * "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."

    * "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."

    * "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."

    * "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

    * "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.

    * "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"

    * "It ain't the heat; it's the humility."

    * "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

    * "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

   * "I didn't really say everything I said."

_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

Who is this guy? (none / 0) (#67)
by SoupIsGoodFood on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 06:22:15 PM EST

I'm guessing he's a baseball player?

[ Parent ]
yes. [nt] (none / 0) (#83)
by llimllib on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 03:26:03 AM EST



Peace.
[ Parent ]
Yogi Berra (none / 0) (#205)
by virg on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 01:24:41 PM EST

Yes, Yogi is (or was) a baseball player, who turned commentator. He played for the Yankees way back when, and is as famous for his twisted comments as Reverend Spooner ever was. Mr. Berra is the one responsible for the baseball mantra, "It ain't over 'til it's over!"

Virg
"Imagine (it won't be hard) that most people would prefer seeing Carrot Top beaten to death with a bag of walnuts." - Jmzero
[ Parent ]
Ronald Reagan (5.00 / 2) (#3)
by godix on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 10:56:51 PM EST

My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
-Ronald Reagan in one of his joking moods



"You think we're arrogant, and we think you're French."
- George Herbert Walker B
I believe... (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by Eater on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:00:08 PM EST

...he said that in jest to someone beside him, not realizing that the microphone was on.

Eater.

[ Parent ]
IIRC (none / 0) (#6)
by godix on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:07:30 PM EST

it was a soundtest that he didn't realize would get out to the public.


"You think we're arrogant, and we think you're French."
- George Herbert Walker B
[
Parent ]
Errr... Syria? (1.00 / 1) (#5)
by Gutza on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:00:09 PM EST

Ah, Reagan, ok, you may be right.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]
How could you not include this... (4.80 / 5) (#7)
by Stick on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:11:52 PM EST

"I speak better English than this villain Bush" - Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf (Iraqi Minister of Information)


---
Stick, thine posts bring light to mine eyes, tingles to my loins. Yea, each moment I sit, my monitor before me, waiting, yearning, needing your prose to make the moment complete. - Joh3n
people who thinks quotes are witty (2.76 / 13) (#11)
by turmeric on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:32:34 PM EST

are fucking morons

Thank you for your comment (4.00 / 1) (#13)
by Gutza on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:35:16 PM EST

I've made sure to include the one below in the selection above, exactly because I used to think the same when I was 16:

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

but now that you are mature (2.00 / 1) (#114)
by turmeric on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 12:19:17 AM EST

....

nice round about way of calling me immature. jerk.

btw if you included this before my comment, fine, i admit i didnt read every last damn 'witty quote' you wrote. why? because ive read thousands of quotes. and almost all of them are only impressive to people who are uneducated and ignorant. they are either using the fame of the quotee to make the quote seem important,.. well, actually that is all they are doing. otherwise you wouldnt need to write the authors name.

[ Parent ]

No... (4.50 / 2) (#126)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 10:42:24 AM EST

...you include the author's name because otherwise, it wouldn't be a quotation.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Can I quote you on that? nt (5.00 / 2) (#41)
by jij on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:17:18 AM EST


"people who thinks quotes are witty are fucking morons" - turmeric
[ Parent ]

yes but... (4.00 / 2) (#142)
by drivers on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 03:39:54 PM EST

Vulgarity is the last refuge of the inarticulate motherfucker.

[ Parent ]
ironic (none / 0) (#147)
by phlux on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 06:30:22 PM EST

Those who espouse their own quotes to contest the wittyness of quotes show their lack of wit!

[ Parent ]
Nice one. (none / 0) (#15)
by Kasreyn on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:41:58 PM EST

Found lots to add to my (massive) quotes file. If interested, my contact info is in my k5 bio, I'll share if you want. =P


-Kasreyn


"Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgement Day:
We never asked to be born in the first place."

R.I.P. Kurt. You will be missed.
A few more (none / 0) (#16)
by SiMac on Fri Apr 18, 2003 at 11:47:12 PM EST

A few from my personal collection that seem to be missing:

"He who slings mud generally loses ground." -- Adlai Stevenson

"You can observe a lot just by watching." -- Yogi Berra

"Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him" -- Fyodor Dostoevski

"If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring." -- Andrew Carnegie on public speaking

"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put" -- Winston Churchill

Churchill quote (none / 0) (#49)
by curien on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 10:56:31 AM EST

I've always heard it, "Madame, that's the kind of pedantry up with which I shall not put!"

--
Murder your babies. -- R Mutt
[ Parent ]
No one really knows... (none / 0) (#50)
by SiMac on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 11:11:55 AM EST

If you look it up on Google, you'll see around 10 different versions of it. The one I have seems to be the most common variation, but it's quite possible that yours is indeed correct...I certainly wasn't there.

[ Parent ]
Quotes (none / 0) (#17)
by pistols on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 12:08:52 AM EST

Some quotes I enjoy:
"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop." -- Lewis Carroll's, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
When I want spreadpussy, I go to Autopr0n. When I want Autopr0n, I go to Kuro5hin. -- Sloppy
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. -- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987
Of course, none of those flights reached their intended destination -- shaken CNN news anchor, 9/11/2001


Quotes from my personal stash. +1 (3.12 / 8) (#18)
by KPalicz on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 12:10:20 AM EST

"The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words."

"My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself."
-    George Bernard Shaw "Everybody's Political What's What"

"Schools and schooling are increasingly irrelevant to the great enterprises of the planet.  No one believes any more that scientists are trained in science classes or politicians in civics classes or poets in English classes.  The truth is that schools don't really teach anything except how to obey orders."
-    John Taylor Gatto

"My grandmother wanted me to have an education, so she kept me out of school"
-    Margaret Mead

"I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school.  I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone."
-    Woody Allen

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants, it is the creed of slaves." -- William Pitt the Younger

"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no
God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." -- Thomas Jefferson

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because
 he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however
 measured or far away." - Henry David Thoreau

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things
you didn't do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  
Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in you sails.  
Explore.  Dream.  Discover."    - Mark Twain

"Common sense is a collection of prejudices
acquired by age eighteen." - Albert Einstein

"Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."  -George Bernard Shaw

The true measure of a man is not where he stands at times of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge and controversy." (MLK Jr.)

"We must learn to live together as brothers,
or perish together as fools."  MLK. Jr.

"Life is what happens to you while your busy
 making other plans."  John Lennon

"and in the end.. the love you take..
 is equal to the love you make.. " Paul McCartney

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - MLK Jr.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become
silent about things that matter" - MLK Jr.

"We may have come over on different ships,
 but we're all in the same boat now!" MLK Jr

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.  That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."-MLK,Jr.

"We must accept finite disappointment,
but never lose infinite hope." - MLK Jr

"Procrastination is the key thief of time." MLK, Jr

"Rarely do we find people who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking.  There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions.  Nothing pains some people more than having to think." MLK jr.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.  (MLK, JR.)

"IF YOU WILL NOT STAND FOR SOMETHING...
YOU'LL FALL FOR EVERY THING"......MLK,Jr.

"I was happy as a child with my toys in my nursery.  I have been happier every year since I became a man.  But this interlude of school makes a somber grey patch upon the chart of my journey.  It was an unending spell of worries that did not then seem petty, and of toil uncheered by fruition; a time of discomfort, restriction and purposeless monotony."
-    Winston Churchill

"Everything we see is a shadow, cast by that which we do not see." MLK Jr.

"We are prone to judge success by the index of our salaries or the size of our automobiles, rather than by the quality of our service and relationship to humanity."...MLK,JR

"If people do not know what your passion is then you don't have one". MLK Jr.

"If a man has not discovered something that he will die for he isn't fit to live"   MLK Jr.

"The civilized man is a more experienced and wiser savage."
- Henry David Thoreau

"we must walk only part way to our goal,
and then leap in the dark to our success"-thoreau

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  
 Live the life you've imagined."   Thoreau

"Not until we are lost to we begin to understand ourselves." - Thoreau

"If you have built your castles in the air, your work need not be lost.  Now, put the foundations under them."  -- Thoreau

"It takes 2 to speak the truth- one to speak,
 and another to hear" Henry David Thoreau

"Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new." Thoreau

"Whenever you find that you are a member of the majority, it's time to reform"-Mark Twain

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation- H.D. Thoreau

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-    Henry David Thoreau

This world is but a canvas to our imaginations -Henry David Thoreau

"Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another." ~ Homer

To be awake is to be alive. I have never yet met a
man who is quite awake "Thoreau"

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
Henry David Thoreau

"The attack on youth is a national pathology, unwarranted by fact, smokescreen for the failure of adulthood and its leadership to confront larger predicaments.  No rescue by the monied, governing, institutional, or otherwise privileged is in sight.  It's up to the energy and inventiveness of the younger generation to pull the gated minds of millennium America toward acceptance of diversity, community, and fairness, and I hope they have as much fun as I did in my adolescences achieving what we Sixties kids only imagined."
-    Mike Males "Framing Youth"

"To have a good enemy, choose a friend:  
he knows where to strike." -- Diane de Poitiers

"Who knows where the road will take you,
stop worrying and enjoy the trip"  Thoreau

"The world is but a canvas to our imagination". -H.D. Thoreau

"How vain it is to sit down and write,
when you have not stood up to live." (Thoreau)

"To know that we know what we know,
 and that we do not know what we do not know,
that is true knowledge" - Henry David Thoreau

That which we do not confront in ourselves,
 we will meet as fate. (Carl Jung)

Before we can forgive one another we have
 to understand one another.   What lies before
us and what lies behind us are small matters
 compared to what lies within us. And when
we bring what is within out into the world,
miracles happen. (Henry Thoreau)

"In the long run men hit only what they aim at.  
Therefore, though they should fail immediately,
they had better aim at something high."  -Henry David Thoreau

"No one can make you feel inferior without
 your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

"No genius has ever existed without some
 touch of madness."-Aristotle

"Far greater it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy nor suffer too much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."--- Teddy Roosevelt

It isn't enough to talk about peace..One must believe it.....It isn't enough to believe in it..One must work at it - Eleanor Roosevelt

"That which we do for ourselves dies with us.
 That which we do for others is immortal." -- Alfred Pike

Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent,
gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
-- Socrates

The 'teenager' seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding. - Edgar Friedenberg "The Vanishing Adolescent"

History is the version of past events that people
have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

Those who cannot remember the past are
condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work
one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it. The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss. As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.         -Emerson

For everything you have missed, you have gained
something else; and for everything you gain, you
lose something else.     -Emerson

In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it.
~ John F. Kennedy ~

The greatest Glory of a free-born People, Is to transmit that Freedom to their Children.
~ William Havard ~

The farther we go, the more the ultimate explanation recedes from us, and all we have left is faith.
~ Vaclav Hlavaty ~

That's the thing about faith. If you don't have it you can't understand it. And if you do, no explanation is necessary
~ Major Kira Nerys ~

"It is easy for us to criticize the prejudices of our grandfathers, from which our frathers freed themselves.  It is more difficult to distance ourselves from our own views, so that we can dispassionately search for prejudices among the beliefs and values we hold."
-    Peter Singer  "Practical Ethics"

"Children do not constitute anyone's property: they are neither the property of their parents nor even of society.  They belong only to their own future freedom."
-    Mikhail Bakunin

A faith that hasn't been tested can't be trusted.
~ Adrian Rogers ~

Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
~ Elton Trueblood ~

I, for one, hope that youth will again revolt and again demoralize the dead weight of conformity that now lies upon us.
~ Howard M. Jones ~

The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.
~ Frank A. Clark ~

Having children makes one no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
~ Michael Levine ~

The best things in life aren't things.
~ Art Buchwald ~

Is life worth living? This is a question for an embryo not for a man.
~ Samuel Butler ~

In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.
~ Les Claypool ~

Too often man handles life as he does the bad weather, He whiles away the time as he waits for it to stop.
~ Alfred Polgar ~

Dance like no one is watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like no one is listening, Live like it's heaven on earth.
~ William Purkey ~

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
~ H. L. Mencken ~

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
~ Billy Wilder ~

Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
~ Source Unknown ~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.     -Confucious

Think no vice so small that you may commit it, and no virtue so small that you may over look it.  -Confucious

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.   -Winston Churchill

"Those that would give up essential liberty for a little safety deserve neither liberty nor
 safety."
 --Benjamin Franklin

"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."
-- Barry Goldwater (1964)
-   

Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely
exercised for the good of its victims
 may be the most oppressive. ...those who
torment us for our own good will
 torment us without end for they do so with
the approval of their own
 conscience."

    C. S. Lewis

"I loathe people who keep dogs.  They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
August Strindberg

"If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual."
-Frank Herbert

"You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence."
-Charles Austin Beard

"Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes."
-Mahatma Gandhi

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."
-Thomas Jefferson

"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action."
-George Washington

"When a great truth once gets abroad in the world, no power on earth can imprison it, or prescribe its limits, or suppress it. It is bound to go on till it becomes the thought of the world."
-- Frederick Douglass

"In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all - security, comfort and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again."
Edward Gibbon

"Politicians are the same all over: they promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."
-- Nikita Khrushchev (1960)

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
-- Ronald Reagan, President of The United States

"If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate. If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist."
-- Joseph Sobran (1995)

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)  

I know there's other fish in the sea, but I lost my pole when the last one got away from me.    Royal Rangers - "Out to Sea"

O never give all the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost
W.B.Yeats

It used to be believed that the parent had unlimited claims on the child and rights over him. In a truer view of the matter, we are coming to see that the rights are on the side of the child and the duties on the side of the parent. (William G. Sumner, 1840-1910)

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. (Harry S. Truman, 1884-1972)

Historically the belief in heaven and the belief in utopia are like compensatory buckets in a well: when one goes down the other comes up. When the classic religions decayed, communistic agitation rose in Athens (430 B.C.), and revolution began in Rome (133 B.C.); when these movements failed, resurrection faiths succeeded, culminating in Christianity; when, in our eighteenth century, Christian belief weakened, communism reappeared. In this perspective the future of religion is secure.
- Will Durant

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the trouble makers. The round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them, because they change things, they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do..." Steve Jobs, CEO & Founder of Apple Computers

"If I am young and wrong, then you are right [to look down on my youthful ignorance].  But if I am young and right, what does my age matter?"
        Aesculus, Antigone

"The oppressed should rebel, and they will continue to rebel and raise disturbance until their civil rights are fully restored to them and all partial distinctions, exclusions and incapacitations are removed."
--Thomas Jefferson, 1776.

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice.
-- Albert Einstein

Love your country, but never trust its government.
-- Robert A. Heinlein.

"The solution of adult problems tomorrow depends in large measure upon the way our children grow up today. There is no greater insight into the future than recognizing that, when we save children, we save ourselves." - Margaret Mead

"Don't let anyone think little of you because you are young."
-1 Timothy 4:12

"If you're explaining, you're loosing."  JC Watts

When they took the fourth amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the sixth amendment, I was quiet because I was innocent.
When they took the second amendment, I was quiet because I didn't own a gun.
Now they've taken the first amendment, and I can say nothing about it.

There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power government has is power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things a crime that it becomes impossible to live without breaking laws.
Ayn Rand

Liberty is the soul's right to breathe, and when it cannot take a long breath laws are girded too tight.  Without liberty, man is a syncope.
-    William Congrave

"It is idle to talk of civil liberties to adults who were systematically taught in adolescence that they had none; and it is sheer hypocrisy to call such people freedom loving."
-    Edgar Friedenberg "The Dignity of Youth and Other Atavisms"

Iron Mike Tyson quotes (4.77 / 9) (#19)
by jjayson on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 12:23:56 AM EST

Tyson seems to be a capable of being highly intelligent, but very misunderstood and stepped on for much of his life. He definitely has some amazing quotes (and thankfully, he has calmed down a little as he as become older):

"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass"

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

"I don't know if I'm mentally sick, but I have ... episodes sometimes. I'm a depressant kind of dude. I have episodes, and I'm human. But no one cares about my health as a human because sometimes I'm in my episodes when I'm at work."

"At times, I come across as crude or crass, That irritates you when I  come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I like to show you all that person because that's who you come to see."

"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country (THe USA) was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime."

"I'm the most irresponsible person in the world. The reason I'm like that is because, at 21, you all gave me $50 (million) or $100 million, and I didn't know what to do. I'm from the ghetto. I don't know how to act. One day I'm in a dope house robbing somebody. The next thing I know, 'You're the heavyweight champion of the world.' ... Who am I? What am I? I don't even know who I am. I'm just a dumb child. I'm being abused. I'm being robbed by lawyers. I think I have more money than I do. I'm just a dumb pugnacious fool. I'm just a fool who thinks I'm someone. And you tell me I should be responsible?"

"I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me ... I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss ... why you acting like that? "Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me. No Christian ever did that and said in the name of Jesus even ... They'd throw me in jail and write bad articles about me and then go to church on Sunday and say Jesus is a wonderful man and he's coming back to save us."But they don't understand that when he comes back, that these crazy greedy capitalistic men are gonna kill him again."
_______
Smile =)
* bt krav magas kitten THE FUCK UP
<bt> Eat Kung Jew, bitch.

Wow, I'm quite suprised (none / 0) (#69)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 07:52:39 PM EST

Some of those quotes are really great, especially the last one. I might make it a sig.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
Let's not forget this one.. (none / 0) (#103)
by dcodea on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 02:15:10 PM EST

"I was gonna rip his heart out. I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, the most ruthless champion there has ever been. No one can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No! He's no Alexander! I'm Alexander! I'm the best ever. I'm Sonny Liston. I'm Jack Dempsey. There's never been anyone like me. I'm from their cloth. There is no one who can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want his heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!"
-- Mike Tyson

Who Dares Wins
[ Parent ]

An even better Tyson quote: (none / 0) (#115)
by thenick on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 12:51:38 AM EST

I've bolded my favorite part.

"I offend people. I ask this lady a lewd question because I'm in a lot of pain. I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then, I kick your fucking ass and stomp on you and put some kind of pain and inflict some of the pain on you because you deserve to feel the pain that I feel. I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day."

 
"Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler, he did a lot, but don't we all wish he would have stayed home and gotten stoned?" -Dex
[ Parent ]

More thoughts for you guys... (none / 0) (#22)
by atreides on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 01:41:46 AM EST

I few tidbits from my own thoughts...

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle

"So it is said that if you know others and
know yourself, you will not be imperiled in
a hundred battles; if you do not know
others but know yourself, you will win one
and lose one; if you do not know others
and do not know yourself, you will be
imperiled in every single battle."
-Sun Tzu

"The world is nothing but a huge republic
of which every nation is a family and every
individual is a child."
-Andrew Michael Ramsey

"Some people seem to have a sort of love
for the beautiful, existing with propensities
for the commonplace and low; as cattle
devour roses and cabbages with the same
coarse relish."
-Grace Greenwood

Facts are chains that bind perception and fetter truth.
For an man can remake the world if he has a dream
and no facts to cloud his mind.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"
-John Milton

IN ALIO PEDUCLUM VIDES, IN TE RICINUM NON VIDES.
(You can see the lice on others, but not the bugs on yourself.)
-Petronius

"...The student who sets out to be an eclectic
before he has made himself an expert will never
be anything more than a dabbler."
-Dion Fortune

"Success, recognition, and conformity are the
bywords of the modern world where everyone seems
to crave the anesthetizing security of being
identified with the majority...Human salvation
lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
-Unknown

"The opposite of a correct statement is an incorrect statement, but the
opposite of a profound truth is another profound truth."
-Neils Bohr

"A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the
portals of discovery."
-James Joyce, "Ulysses"

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of
the last priest.
-Diderot

"Politicians today are not leaders, nor are they representatives of the
people. They are brokers who distribute the taxpayers money among special
interests. That is all they are. And either party would much rather see
their opponents win, with whom they can cut a deal, than a maverick in their
own party with whom they could not cut a deal. And if you don't understand
that, you're still in kindergarten."
-Clyde Wilson

"The greatest blunders, like the thickest ropes, are often compounded of a
multitude of strands. Take the rope apart, separate it into the small
threads that compose it, and you can break them one by one. You think, "That
is all there was!" But twist them all together and you have something
tremendous."
-Victor Hugo

"People do not lack strength; they lack will."
-Victor Hugo

"Make your educational laws strict and your criminal ones can be gentle; but
if you leave youth its liberty you will have to dig dungeons for ages."
-Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

"The art of being happy lies in the power of expecting
happiness from common things."
-Harriet Beecher Stowe

"Our lives are what our thoughts make of it."
-Marcus Aurelius

"The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided
missiles, and misguided men."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Nothing happens unless first a dream."
-Carl Sandburg

"One man is equivalent to all Creation. One Man is a world in miniature."
- Rabbi Nathan

"How can you expect me to be perfect...when I am full of contradictions?"
- Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra

"One may learn even from a thief. He is ever watchful, takes every
opportunity and does not despise the least gain. A Kaballalist
should use the same criteria for inner development."
-Anonymous

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
-H. G. Wells

"Love makes us poets and the approach of death makes us philosophers."
-George Santayana

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child."
-George Santayana

"Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it."
-George Santayana

"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your
aim."
-George Santayana

An apt and true reply was given to Alexander the Great by a pirate who had
been seized. For when that king had asked the man what he meant by keeping
hostile possession of the sea, he answered with bold pride. "What thou
meanest by seizing the whole earth; but because I do it with a petty ship, I
am called a robber, whilst thou who dost it with a great fleet art styled
emperor."
-St. Augustine

"The heart has it's reasons that reason does not know."
-Blaise Pascal

"Even if you can deceive people about a product through misleading statements,
sooner or later the product will speak for itself."
-Hajime Karatsu


"...heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

I love the Grace Greenwood one [nt] (none / 0) (#29)
by lucius on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 04:14:08 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Me too. It's in my email sig. :) <NT> (none / 0) (#55)
by atreides on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 12:04:27 PM EST


"...heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
[ Parent ]

A long one, but a goodie (4.00 / 1) (#24)
by dasunt on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 02:30:55 AM EST

Freedom, that consuming goal above doubt or criticism, desired as moths desire the candle or emigrants the distant continent waiting to parch them in its deserts or drive them to madness in its bitter winters! Freedom, that land where rogues, at every corner, cozen with lies and promises the plucky sheep who judged it time to sack the shepherd! Unfurl your banner, Freedom, and call upon me with cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer and all kinds of music to fall down and worship you, and I will do so upon the instant, for who would wish to be cast into the fiery furnace of his neighbours' contempt? I will come to you as the male spider to the female, as the explorer to the upper reaches of the great river upon which he knows he will die before ever he wins through to the estuary. How should I dare refuse your beckoning, queen whose discarded lovers vanish by night, princess whose unsuccessful suitors die at sunset? Would to God we had never encountered you, goddess of thrombosis, insomnia, asthma, duodenal and migraine! For we are free, free to suffer every anguish of deliberation, of decisions which must be made upon suspect information and half-knowledge, every anguish of hindsight and regret, of failure, shame and responsibility for all that we have brought upon ourselves and others: free to struggle, to starve, to demand from all one last, supreme effort to reach where we long to be and, once there, to conclude that it is not, after all, the right place. For a great price obtained I this freedom, to wish to God I had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when I sat by the fleshpots and ate bread to the full. The tyrant wasn't such a bad old bugger, and even in his arbitrary rages never killed as many as died in yesterday's glorious battle for liberty. Will you return to him, then? Ah no, sweet Freedom, I will slave for you until I have forgotten the love that once consumed my being, until I am grown old and bitter and can no longer see the wood for the starved, dirty trees. Then I will curse you and die; and will you then concede that I may be accounted your loyal follower and a true creature of this Earth? And, Freedom, was I free?

Richard Adams, "The Plague Dogs"



Who cares? (none / 0) (#27)
by tkatchev on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 03:45:42 AM EST

I don't.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Nor do I. (1.00 / 3) (#82)
by qpt on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 03:04:26 AM EST

I could not even be bothered to read past the first few words.

Domine Deus, creator coeli et terrae respice humilitatem nostram.
[ Parent ]

just one from MarkTwain (none / 0) (#25)
by SocratesGhost on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 02:32:23 AM EST

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

-Soc
I drank what?


Deja Vu (none / 0) (#28)
by thadk on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 04:06:17 AM EST

I'm reasonably sure we've hosted an article like this at K5 before but I just spent an hour searching for it without anything relevant coming up. If someone has it bookmarked or has some idea what to google for please post the link so we don't get massive redundancies and to provide for further time wastage reading.

Obligatory Murphy (5.00 / 1) (#32)
by anno1602 on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 05:02:25 AM EST

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open the mouth and remove any doubt."
--
"Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit." - Murphy
Neither the quote nor the sig (none / 0) (#72)
by porkchop_d_clown on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:57:55 PM EST

are Murphy's Law - so WTF are you talking about?

The firs, if I remember correctly, is attributed to Euripides.


--
Tablet is the wrong medicinal analogy: suppository more adequately describes the Smart Display experience. - Rupert Goodwins


[ Parent ]
Murphy's Laws (none / 0) (#99)
by anno1602 on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 12:03:00 PM EST

At least as I have come to know it, there is the classical Murphy's Law "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and always in teh worst possible moment". And there is a wider field of, if you want, Murphy-ish Laws along the lines of "The light at the end of the tunel is the headlamp of an oncoming train" and so on.
--
"Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit." - Murphy
[ Parent ]
Murphy's Law (none / 0) (#104)
by porkchop_d_clown on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 03:05:21 PM EST

as Murphy himself posed it was this: If there are two ways to install a piece of equipment, a right way and a wrong way, it will be installed the wrong way.


--
Tablet is the wrong medicinal analogy: suppository more adequately describes the Smart Display experience. - Rupert Goodwins


[ Parent ]
And originally (none / 0) (#105)
by porkchop_d_clown on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 03:10:50 PM EST

he was referring to a particular technician, not a general rule...


--
Fishing for Men, Trolling for Newbies, what's the difference?


[ Parent ]
MY obligatory Murphy (3.00 / 2) (#110)
by gmuslera on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 06:19:17 PM EST

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Is one of the things that helped me more in my life. I read here that it was attributed to William James, but, anyway, is a good quote to have at hand.

[ Parent ]

Hanlon? (none / 0) (#130)
by gauntlet on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 12:17:44 PM EST

I know that as Hanlon's Razor. Don't know who Hanlon is, though.

Into Canadian Politics?
[ Parent ]

The Quoteable Jack Handy (5.00 / 9) (#35)
by ffrinch on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 06:13:07 AM EST

Not so much wisdom here, but they're amusing.

"Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes."

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

"The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face."

"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other."

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. An I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it."

-◊-
"I learned the hard way that rock music ... is a powerful demonic force controlled by Satan." — Jack Chick

Needs more Nietzsche (5.00 / 3) (#36)
by Delirium on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 06:39:50 AM EST

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

"Only sick music makes money today."

"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."

"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."

"Mystical explanations are considered deep. The truth is that they are not even superficial."

"Democratic institutions are quarantine arrangements to combat that ancient pestilence, lust for tyranny: as such they are very useful and very boring."

And of course probably his two best-known quotes:

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger."

Some more.. (none / 0) (#39)
by alfadir on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 07:32:19 AM EST

Friedrich Nietzsche quotes

[ Parent ]
No way! (none / 0) (#52)
by tkatchev on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 11:43:27 AM EST

It needs more HITLER.


   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

heh (4.66 / 3) (#64)
by Delirium on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 04:14:29 PM EST

You do realize that Nietzsche himself was rather anti-Nazi, don't you? He frequently lambasted anti-Semites in his writings, and was very wary of extreme nationalism.

It is true that Hitler was a fan of Nietzsche's writings, but that is most likely largely due to the influence of Elisabeth Nietzsche, his sister and wife of a Nazi party member, who after his insanity and later death took control of his writings. In particular, she took the notes for his uncompleted work "A Will to Power" and "completed" it into something that was likely significantly different from what Friedrich Nietzsche would have written.

[ Parent ]

You're wrong. (4.25 / 4) (#85)
by tkatchev on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 05:08:06 AM EST

Hitler was evil not because he was anti-semite.

There is nothing wrong with anti-semitism per se -- it may be rude, but by itself being anti-semitic is no more evil than believing that puppies aren't cute.

Hitler was evil because of his extreme anti-human system of values, and because of his total disregard for human life and dignity.

This is something that he shared in common with Nietzsche. Whether or not they were also anti-semitic is completely irrelevant.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

You have an odd view of Hitler (4.00 / 2) (#91)
by Delirium on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 06:19:21 AM EST

It's generally agreed that the main problem with Hitler is that he wanted to promote one race of people while murdering all those who did not fall into his preferred classification. This is something extremely antithetical to Nietzsche's value system, which opposed nationalism and even patriotism. In short, Hitler was a fascist, as we all know, and Nietzsche was about as much of an anti-fascist as you can get.

As for Nietzsche's supposed disregard of human life and dignity, I don't believe that's justified. He had an elitist view, perhaps, but he did not argue that the people who he considered dumb were deserving of murder, or even argue that it would be acceptable to murder them. He simply didn't think they were interesting to talk to or capable of producing great art, great literature, great music, or anything else he cared about, so he had some level of disdain for them. And he placed most of Germany in that group of people he found boring and uninteresting.

So I would argue that whether he shared a disdain for people with Hitler is completely irrelevant; what made Hitler evil was his desire for genocidal promotion of one race of people over another, something that is antithetical to Nietzsche's philosophy.

[ Parent ]

Lessons of democracy 101: (5.00 / 2) (#95)
by tkatchev on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 08:36:15 AM EST

Whether or not you dislike somebody or some group of people is irrelevant.

What matters are your actions, which should be judged only on the basis of the law.

The problem with Hitler wasn't that he disliked the wrong group of people -- disliking, and even hating, is not a crime -- the problem with Hitler was his policy of violence and degradation of human dignity. Who the violence was directed against -- Jews, non-Aryans, cat owners, people with painted fingernails, etc. -- is completely irrelevant.

Neitzsche held the exact same ideas of violence and degradation of human dignity as Hitler; the only difference between them was that Neitzsche was stuck in a mental home and had no real-world possibility of bringing his ideas to fruition.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Can You Point Out Examples? (nt) (none / 0) (#101)
by OneEyedApe on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 01:33:07 PM EST



[ Parent ]
I don't have time, sorry. (none / 0) (#102)
by tkatchev on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 01:58:27 PM EST

Look it up yourself; I'm not here to be anybody's personal tutor -- the information is there readily available to anybody who is interested.

In short, do your education yourself and make up your own mind. I'm here to discuss and to highlight my own opinion, not to channel "truth".

(Nothing personal, I just dislike when people demand "links" and "references" for well-known, readily available stuff.)

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

I don't think he meant... (5.00 / 1) (#138)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:24:21 PM EST

..."Can You Point Out Examples" in the sense of, "I can't be bothered to find examples", but in the sense of, "I can't find any examples".

I've just done a cursory search myself and didn't find anything to suggest that "Neitzsche held the exact same ideas of violence and degradation of human dignity as Hitler", so it can't be that well-known and readily-available.

If you don't have time to back up your assertions, you should probably refrain from making those assertions. Otherwise, you're going to look like one of those, "I don't have time, look it up yourself, it's well-known, readily-available stuff" trolls.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Hello? (none / 0) (#155)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 11:23:14 PM EST

We're here to voice our opinions, not to write peer-reviewed science.

If you don't agree with me -- well, good for you. At least it means that you bothered to form an opinion.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Good. (none / 0) (#167)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:24:47 AM EST

At least it means that you bothered to form an opinion.

Everyone has an opinion. It's when that opinion is justified that it becomes worthwhile.

My opinion is that if I see someone assert something, claiming that it's easy to verify and yet not doing so, that others will hold the opinion of that person that they don't actually have a point.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

You're welcome to believe in whatever... (none / 0) (#177)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:57:27 AM EST

You're welcome to believe in whatever God-awful ideas you want. Nobody can stop you.

In my opinion, though, when sombody refutes obviously verifiable common knowledge, he is either a) a lazy prick or b) blinded by false dogma.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Once again... (none / 0) (#181)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:13:35 AM EST

...no-one except you is saying that it's obviously verifiable. And you're only saying that, not demonstrating it.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Yes. (none / 0) (#191)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:41:53 AM EST

Is there a problem with that?

I don't have to proove things that I find self-evident.

Perhaps you would like to argue about the color of the sky again? It's a very fun game.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Think about the difference... (none / 0) (#195)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:58:51 AM EST

...between self-evident and easily verifiable.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Exactly so, my dear. (2.00 / 1) (#201)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 11:22:04 AM EST

Something that I can only recommend to you.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

I think you're way off (4.00 / 2) (#107)
by Delirium on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 05:17:09 PM EST

The problem with Hitler very much was his group identification. His entire philosophy was Aryan dominance and genocide to achieve that; contemplating a hypothetical "anti-cat owner" Hitler is completely ridiculous. Such a figure would be a crackpot dictator on par with Castro, not the sort of evil figure we consider Hitler to be.

There is nothing new about Hitler's ideas of calling for the death of those you oppose -- every nation in history has sought the death of those they opposed. The distinguishing characteristic of Hitler was that those he opposed were an entire race of people, which made him genocidal.

Further, I see no evidence that Nietzsche favored violence against the majority of people. He did argue that contemporary European culture was too weak and anti-violence, but I don't think you can reasonably extend this to him claiming that the solution was more mass murder. And his disdain for the majority of people is completely unrelated to all this; his problem with them was that they bored him. Certainly finding most of humanity boring is not a crime?

And further, Nietzsche wasn't stuck in a mental home until the last ten years of his life; his works were all written prior to that. He had no real-world possibility of bringing his ideas to fruition because he had no such ambitions; he was not a political philosopher in any sense of the term and did not care about politics except perhaps as a passing curiosity (this point is quite well-documented in the literature). There is nothing in his work that suggests Nietzsche would even accept a dictatorial position, much less desire one. He simply didn't want to deal with most of humanity, as ruler or otherwise.

[ Parent ]

No. (5.00 / 1) (#120)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 03:23:05 AM EST

Who you oppose is irrelevant. What matters is whether or not you think that murder is an acceptable means towards a political end.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

And he did not (4.00 / 1) (#121)
by Delirium on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 03:52:23 AM EST

Nietzsche had no political ambitions, or even any real interest at all in politics, which he considered somewhat dirty and boring. The quote in my original post in this thread about democracy sums it up nicely -- he thinks democracy is useful, good, and necessary, as it staves off tyrants, but is uttery boring. A fascist bent on murdering to further a political agenda would hardly consider democracy good and necessary.

And in Hitler's case, I disagree that who you oppose is irrelevant. There's a reason Hitler is universally considered evil, whereas Egypt's Hosni Mubarak (also someone who uses murder for political purposes) is not.

[ Parent ]

How does politics factor into this? (none / 0) (#122)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 08:04:54 AM EST

We're talking about ethics, not the vagarities of campaign funding.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

being a dictator is politics (none / 0) (#134)
by Delirium on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:11:38 PM EST

I was responding to "the only difference between them was that Neitzsche was stuck in a mental home and had no real-world possibility of bringing his ideas to fruition," pointing out that a bigger difference is that Nietzsche had no interest in politics. Furthermore, he didn't indend his ideas on ethics to be applied politically or by the majority of people.

[ Parent ]
How do you know? (none / 0) (#136)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:13:55 PM EST

I'm not saying that Neitzsche was a criminal, I'm merely saying that his ideas were as bad as Hitler's.

Ideas is not what drives to you Nuerenberg, though. Killing is.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Then add some nt (4.50 / 2) (#68)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 07:46:08 PM EST

He has some really good ones actually.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
Sorry, don't know who to attribute them to... (5.00 / 2) (#37)
by gnovos on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 06:44:00 AM EST

"Capitalism is a system whereby man exploits man, communisim is exactly the opposite."

"Beer, the cause of --and answer to-- all of life's problems."

A Haiku: "fuck you fuck you fuck/you fuck you fuck you fuck you/fuck you fuck you snow" - JChen

Attributes (5.00 / 1) (#45)
by BadDoggie on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 09:02:25 AM EST

"Capitalism is a system whereby man exploits man, communisim is exactly the opposite."

Close.
It's actually "Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." John Kenneth Galbraith.

"Beer, the cause of --and answer to-- all of life's problems."

Homer Simpson.

woof.

"You're more screwed up than turmeric and you're not even drunk!" — A Proud
[
Parent ]

The second (5.00 / 1) (#46)
by rusty on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 09:04:33 AM EST

Was said by Homer Simpson at least once.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Sure, I love quotes.. (4.22 / 9) (#38)
by alfadir on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 07:17:44 AM EST

.. and I go to Quoteland to get them. There are also forums for discussing quotes etc.

Do you have any other nice resources ?
Most of these quotes have I already read there or in other places..

Sorry you get a -1 from me, this is just a looooong list of qoutes. Quoteland does a better job organizing them. This was hard to read.. Your comments, added some value but not so much.

If you make an article about qoutes again with some more references to good qoute collections and some better comments, You'll get a +1.

That wasn't the idea (generic response) (3.11 / 9) (#42)
by Gutza on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:51:38 AM EST

First, your comment has this arrogant presumption that I'd want to work harder to get your +1 next time--and also hinting at how I could accomplish that. No, thanks, I'm ok with your -1. Just for the record, I'm ok if this story gets dumped as well--I wrote it as I saw fit, and now you (NOT me) have a few options, such as enjoying it, adding your quotes or dumping it. I don't care, although I'd obviously be happier if you enjoyed it, since I took the time to select the quotes above.

Then there's the concept of this story competing with dedicated sites. That's an absurd idea, how could I possibly both do that and keep the story enjoyable? A list of links would've been better in your opinion? C'mon! Also, you're saying I should write "better comments [on quotes]"--ahem, that's why they're quotes, because they're nice by themselves, commenting on quotes is as lame as it gets. My comments in the story above are meant to be funny, I'm not taking myself serious enough to think I could add intrinsic value to the actual quotes. But then again, that's me.

And now to what the idea WAS when I posted this story: it was meant to address two categories of people. On one hand, the ones who use to enjoy quotes and maybe enjoy reading a good (IMHO) selection, although they knew most of them (don't tell me you never forget anything). On the other hand, maybe reaching out to those who never took an interest in quotes (see the "fucking morons" comment below) by presenting them, again, a light reading yet a consistent selection.

The only thing I did try to do in this story regarding style was make it an enjoyable read by alternating funny ones with "deep" ones, and adding a few comments to keep it from being a sordid list.

Also, although the story has been criticised more than once for its length, I did that on purpose in order to get a reasonably consistent selection, instead of a couple of pages' worth--nobody asks you to read them all at once, or at all for that matter. You just want to read the first two pages? Be my guest. You just want to read a couple? Sure, no problem here! Are you concerned that you might not "get it" unless you read them all? Or do you have such a poor Internet connection that the sheer size of the thing is a problem? Apart from those two reasons I honestly don't understand why one would criticise the length of the story, when some people maybe would've wanted it to be even longer, and, again, anyone who chooses to stop reading after two pages is free to do so, without "missing the point" or something.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

oh, Jeez.... (5.00 / 1) (#40)
by jij on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:03:43 AM EST

"She's so anal-retentive she can't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture." - Jennifer Saunders

"I love all of you, especially your wives." - Strom Thurmond, 25/9/2002, on the Senate floor.

"Henry Ford is history." - Bunk

"people who thinks quotes are witty are fucking morons" - turmeric

Along those lines (none / 0) (#149)
by epepke on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 06:54:46 PM EST

"He's such a tightass he shits diamonds." --Me


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
Oops! (4.55 / 9) (#43)
by A Proud American on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:53:44 AM EST

This article and the accompanying voting reminds me of the typical college connundrum.

You see, last night it seemed like a good idea.  A huge freakin' page of quotes.  Yeah.  Really sexy.  So, we did it.  We voted +1.  We were drunk.

Then we wake up in the morning, turn the light on, and see what we actually did.  Uggghhh.  What the hell were we thinking?

____________________________
The weak are killed and eaten...


BTW, you'll always be remembered (none / 0) (#44)
by Gutza on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:56:49 AM EST

...by the story last night about your penis size. :->

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]
War (5.00 / 9) (#53)
by KPalicz on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 12:00:12 PM EST

"Why of course the people don't want war....But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship....All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger." --- Hermann Goring, Nuremburg War Crimes Trial.

Interesting story,although not yours.... (5.00 / 1) (#57)
by Niha on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 12:49:24 PM EST

 Anyway,it must have taken you some time to collect and decide what to put here.I have liked very much the one attributed to Tom Clancy.

Here are some more. (5.00 / 1) (#61)
by Noodle on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 03:28:44 PM EST

"The more you drive, the less intelligent you are" - Miller, from the film "Repo Man"

"Tomorrow's just an excuse away" - The Smashing Pumpkins

"Always carry a towel" - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

More later, as I think of them...

{The Nefarious Noodle}

More (5.00 / 2) (#62)
by Noodle on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 03:54:12 PM EST

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends." - Gandalf

{The Nefarious Noodle}
[ Parent ]

Regarding the poll (none / 0) (#65)
by Gutza on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 04:34:43 PM EST

I (the author of the story) obviously watched it and the poll results regularly. The poll presented a peculiarly regular pattern I never saw before: the first two chioces were almost perfectly balanced throughout the day, with the third with always about 2-3 times the votes on each of the first two. I'm curious whether this trend will continue throughout the time. Just for the record, we now have 10-10-30 votes.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
Edmund Burke: (5.00 / 1) (#70)
by sarunas on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 08:19:25 PM EST

Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.

No, no, it's this way spoken: (none / 0) (#219)
by enderwiggin99 on Sat Apr 26, 2003 at 03:34:56 AM EST

Evil will always win because good is dumb. -Dark Helmet

__Ender__
Reverse-engineering the Universe from life until Zen.
[ Parent ]
Churchill on the Soviet Union (none / 0) (#75)
by lucius on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 09:06:41 PM EST

"If Hitler invaded Hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the Devil in the House of Commons"


Actually... (none / 0) (#79)
by ender81b on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 11:09:14 PM EST

I believe he was referring to germany. At any rate you missed the best churchill quote:

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much, owed by so many, to so few." -- refering to the RAF

[ Parent ]

Wrong on two counts. (none / 0) (#80)
by lucius on Sat Apr 19, 2003 at 11:19:46 PM EST

Why would Hitler invade Germany? This quote referred to Stalin ("the Devil") immediately after the German invasion of the Soviet Union ("Hell")?

And the second quote is, in my opinion, a bit trite.

[ Parent ]

A better one... (5.00 / 2) (#86)
by skim123 on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 05:15:51 AM EST

Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.".
Sir Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Or better yet:

Lady Astor, aghast at a party. "Mr. Churchill your drunk!"
Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly."

Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master.
PT Barnum


[ Parent ]
Even better one (one of my favorites) (none / 0) (#94)
by PowerPimp on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 08:29:54 AM EST

"I don't drink. I don't smoke. I sleep a great deal. That is why I am 100 per cent on form" --General Montgomery

"I drink a great deal. I sleep little and smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am 200 per cent on form." --Winston Churchill


You'd better take care of me God; otherwise, you'll have me on your hands...
[ Parent ]
Heh (none / 0) (#98)
by edo on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 09:50:46 AM EST

Heh. You got that off a box of Habanos matches, didn't you?

-- 
Sentimentality is merely the Bank Holiday of cynicism.
 - Oscar Wilde
[ Parent ]
No Simpsons quotes!?! (none / 0) (#87)
by skim123 on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 05:17:42 AM EST

Homer: "To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!"

Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master.
PT Barnum


or (none / 0) (#106)
by nodsmasher on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 04:11:15 PM EST

god: my favorite fictional charicter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Most people don't realise just how funny cannibalism can actually be.
-Tatarigami
[ Parent ]
Everything that can be invented... (5.00 / 1) (#88)
by infraoctarine on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 05:51:00 AM EST

"Everything that can be invented has been invented"

It's a nice quote, only there is no evidence whatsoever that poor Duell ever said this.


reading Goethe (5.00 / 1) (#90)
by The Devil on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 06:14:14 AM EST

"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny." OH but Faust is! The tale that binds Marlowe and Goethe is but a shy fallacy from a long bending yarn of yore. Faust is indeed meant to be a tale told whilst biting one's cheek. Maybe Goethe is oblivious to the humor in Faust, as most authors were at the time, but the tale itself is meant to warn and chide even the most strict of heart. Mephistopheles himself brings whit and mischief with every breath! How could anyone miss this divine comedy? I certainly did not.

Stolen (2.50 / 2) (#97)
by The Devil on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 09:00:50 AM EST

This article is mostly stolen from <a href=http://www.joblatino.com/slips.html>here</a>.

Only a few.... (none / 0) (#113)
by gmol on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 08:18:18 PM EST

But enough to make it a conincidence if he didn't get some of the quotes from that page (or they both didn't get them from a common source)...

[ Parent ]
That site's wierd. (none / 0) (#127)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 10:43:49 AM EST

"after winning the elections of 1933 in Germany, Hitler became a ruthless dictator by introducing his gangster-like new regime"


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
More stuff (none / 0) (#100)
by Tau on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 01:07:16 PM EST

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
 - Mario Andretti [in case you didn't know, he was a race car driver]

This one reminded me of a similar one I heard somewhere

"If you're not on anyone's shit list, chances are you're not doing anything noteworthy"

Another one I'm fond of but don't know who said it...

"Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way"

---
WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES WE WILL MAKE SAUSAGES OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ENTRAILS - TRASG0

Feel free to quote me... (none / 0) (#108)
by NoMoreNicksLeft on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 05:46:08 PM EST

Nietzsche: God is dead.
God: Nietzsche is dead.
Nomorenicksleft: Good riddance to both you fuckers.

--
Do not look directly into laser with remaining good eye.
Have you ever read anything of Nietzsche? (none / 0) (#118)
by TheModerate on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 03:00:21 AM EST

Or do you just think this comment was cute?

"What a man has in himself is, then, the chief element in his happiness." -- Schopenhauer
[ Parent ]

Actually... (none / 0) (#123)
by NoMoreNicksLeft on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 08:59:46 AM EST

I'm more scared that the biblethumpers might use the same argument as you.

--
Do not look directly into laser with remaining good eye.
[ Parent ]
A personal favorite of mine: (5.00 / 1) (#109)
by Ether on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 06:18:34 PM EST

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
-- E. W. Dijkstra

^ The best advice anyone who is thinking about going to college to study Computer Science could recieve.

Bollocks. (none / 0) (#129)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 11:39:13 AM EST

I don't see why there has to be a special separate "science" for those who are too stupid to fathom mathematics.

CS is not some sort of "special olympics" for the mathematically retarded.


   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Eh? (none / 0) (#132)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 12:30:50 PM EST

Either you can't handle imperative languages, or I don't get your point.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Point is, (none / 0) (#135)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:11:46 PM EST

CS is in way related to math.

It uses mathematical constructs in the same way that, say, sociology or psychology does, but that it about as far as math is related to CS.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Okay... (5.00 / 1) (#139)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:37:04 PM EST

In which case I don't think I understand your comment.

You're suggesting that astronomy exists for people who are "too stupid" to understand telescopes?

The equivalent statement to Dijkstra's, made in a mathematical context, would be something along the lines of, "Computer Science is no more about computers than mathematics is about numbers".

Anyway, I don't think Dijstra meant that astronomers don't need to understand telescopes.

Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

No, my point is... (none / 0) (#153)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 11:03:36 PM EST

Of course CS is about computers. It stands for "Computer Science", after all.


   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

"Computer" Science (none / 0) (#159)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 05:03:56 AM EST

Here: "Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically it's made up of two separate words: "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind" -- Jack Handey

Let's study the word "mathematics". It comes from Greek where it means "mathema-"=science and "-ike"=knowledge. So, mathematics would be the knowledge of science. Although flattering to maths, the etymology in itself is obviously not enough to understand what the word means.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

Facetious. (none / 0) (#160)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 05:23:15 AM EST

Take your phallosophy somewhere else, please.

To claim that "computer science" is not about computers is the height of obtuseness.

Perhaps you also think that "military science" is not about the military, and that "library science" is not related to libraries?

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Could you please pick a point and stick to it? (none / 0) (#161)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 06:10:33 AM EST

Can you highlight (specific references, please) a statement in which Gutza, Dijkstra or I have claimed that computer science wasn't related to computers?

You seem to have rather a poor understanding of natural philosophy.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Oh shame shame on me... (none / 0) (#168)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:31:51 AM EST

Such a dirty shame! You're right, I have a very poor understanding of natural philosophy. :))

Perhaps you would like to teach me. :)))

That would be extremely interesting. :)

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Changing the subject (none / 0) (#170)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:37:19 AM EST

Can you highlight (specific references, please) a statement in which Gutza, Dijkstra or I have claimed that computer science wasn't related to computers?

Didn't think so.

What was your point again?


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Read the parallel branches. (-) (none / 0) (#174)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:52:09 AM EST

ente

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Unless you link directly to something... (none / 0) (#184)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:16:04 AM EST

...that demonstrates what you're trying to say, people might well justifiably think you don't have a point.

Try here, then.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Gosh. (none / 0) (#194)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:49:25 AM EST

Go get lost. Loser.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Wrong again, I'm afraid... (none / 0) (#197)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 10:15:00 AM EST

...the loser is the person who fails to be able to respond to other person's points, and ends up resorting to something like "Go get lost" instead.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Look, I'm asking you nicely to stop. (1.00 / 1) (#200)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 11:21:15 AM EST

I'm trying to discuss something with intelligent people here, and you are cluttering up the thread with trash.

OK? Please stop.

From now on I won't reply to your posts.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

That would certainly be more honest of you. (none / 0) (#203)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 11:36:46 AM EST

After all, you never really do reply to any of my posts. Sure, you click "reply to this" and type some stuff, but you never really reply to any of the points I make.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
If MIT's LCS is representative... (none / 0) (#172)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:41:34 AM EST

...then here: About LCS.

I won't start highlighting sections of that page here, because I'd have to quote all the page, and that would be boring. Just read it.

Of course it has to do with computers, it would be absurd indeed to pretend otherwise, but it'n not all about computers. If I were to make an euphemism, I'd say it's no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. Sounds strangely familiar though. :->

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

No, that quote is facetious. (none / 0) (#175)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:54:28 AM EST

Astronomers study stars, not telescopes.

CS, however, studies computers.

If you don't study computers, then you have no right to call yourself a "computer scientist". At best, you are a half-baked mathematician.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Have you at least bothered to read the link? [nt] (none / 0) (#178)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:57:40 AM EST



Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]
No. Why? (none / 0) (#179)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:58:36 AM EST

Is there anything there that I don't know already? I doubt that. :))

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Couldn't possibly imagine that. (none / 0) (#183)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:15:15 AM EST

Therefore discussing the issue further would lead nowhere. I realize now, you're one of those guys who's always right because he knows everything. By that single reply of yours you have also convinced me that the Dijkstra guy was a sucker who didn't have the first idea what he was talking about. And that all of us are wrong and you are right. And that you're not a troll. Goodie!

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]
Of course I don't know everything. (none / 0) (#190)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:40:21 AM EST

But I do know what I know.

I also know that Dijkstra is no great authority when it comes to CS. Do you have objections? :)

Seriously, there is some sort of deep crisis in American CS with a serious lack of appropriate role models. Why are people like Dijkstra raised to a semi-god status of infallibility? He hasn't made any serious ground-breaking discoveries (with all due respect, however) and his writings are very biased and short-sighted. (With all due respect, again.)

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Back on track (none / 0) (#204)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 12:37:48 PM EST

The is that you don't seem to notice the discussion diverged for a good reason: you're discussing CS vs. math issues on the "other" branch (interesting discussion otherwise, I'm watching it), whereas on "this" branch we're trying to figure out in what way the original quotation looks wrong to you. We're not talking about maths here. Get it?

Ok, now that you hopefully do, you don't have to go trash Dijkstra and rudely shut up synaesthesia because you're too busy defending the wrong idea on the wrong thread. I think we'd all be happier if we stuck to the point, and as such, produce something which would actually prove that the original quotation is wrong (and please, don't repeat that lame excuse of an argument that CS is about computers because it says "Computer" in its name).

For instance, does CS study the motherboard, the processor, the video/sound card or any hardware piece of equipment as its main object of activity? The way I see it, the original quotation doesn't exclude--for instance--optics from the field of astronomy. And it rightfully shouldn't, because that makes observations more precise, depending on the telescope used. Therefore one might argue that astronomy is about telescopes, although it's generally accepted that's not actually the case.

So, back to the point, why is CS about computers?

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

Two points: (none / 0) (#206)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 02:43:18 PM EST

1. It's a silly aphorism, for ghosh's sake, you don't need to overanalyse it.

2. "Computer" doesn't mean "metal box with blinkenlites". "Computer" is an abstraction of a deterministic information processing system. So, for example, CS definitely does study your computer's video card. (Along with lots and lots of other things.) The parallelism in some modern video cards is at the very edge of research right now -- certainly, video cards are the one area where yesterday's abstract theoretical parallelist mumbo-jumbo has been implemented in real-world terms.

I guess what I want to say is that CS is at the junction of theoretical descriptions of information systems and their real-world realizations.

It's no good to just say "gee whiz, look at me -- I proved theoretical Turing-completeness of a barnyard door". You need to do stuff that actually matters -- because stuff that matters, as a rule, is more complex and more theoretically challenging than clean-room academic thought experiments.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

You should learn to pay attention. (none / 0) (#180)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:09:35 AM EST

Astronomers study stars, not telescopes.

I've already linked to this in a reply I've made to you. If you'd bothered to read it, you'd have realised by now that your understanding of the relationship between telescopes and astronomy, on which you entire argument is based, is wrong.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Whatever. (1.00 / 1) (#193)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:48:47 AM EST

Care to try again?

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Try what again? (none / 0) (#196)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 10:06:04 AM EST

Demonstrating your willful ignorance?

I'll be doing that as long as we're both posting on Kuro5hin, I suspect.

As for this particular thread, my work here is done. You don't have any answers, and this is as plain to you as it is to anybody else reading.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Nope (none / 0) (#187)
by Gully Foyle on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:45:47 AM EST

CS studies computation.

If you weren't picked on in school you were doing something wrong - kableh
[ Parent ]

Wrong again. (none / 0) (#192)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:46:38 AM EST

There is nothing to study about "computation".

If by "computation" you mean "computability", then I'm afraid all of CS is reduced to a handful of boring, fairly trivial theorems with a vanishingly small area of practical application.

If by "computation" you mean "computational maths", then you are wrong because "computational maths" is an area of mathematics and not at all encompases all of CS. In fact, nowadays "computational maths" is more related to physics than to CS; in any case, physicists know their numerical methods much better than most CS graduates.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Hmmm (none / 0) (#145)
by jgerman on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 05:46:19 PM EST

I'm not sure I understand your problem with this. CS IS a math, it's not a separate science. Computer Science is just another term for Computational Science/Math. Computer Science is NOT programming, system administration, ect. That's what the quote is pointing out.

if textbooks were a kuro5hin user, they would probably be Silent Chris. because textbooks piss me off. -- anaesthesis
[ Parent ]

No way. (none / 0) (#154)
by tkatchev on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 11:14:11 PM EST

CS is not math. If you want math, go join the math department; the field of mathematics is large and flexible enough to sustain almost anything.

True, CS sometimes uses math (sometimes, and almost never in real-world applications of CS) but that in no way makes CS a branch of mathematics. CS uses letters, too, but that doesn't make it a branch of philology.

Computer science, like the name says, is the study of computers. If that somehow irks you, then I suggest you go find a different field of study, one that doesn't cause you so much cognitive dissonance.

P.S. There is no such thing as "computation science", just like there is no such thing as "graph science" or "algebra science" or "arithmetic science".

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

CS is Mathematics (none / 0) (#163)
by zakalwe on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 06:31:34 AM EST

Computer science, like the name says, is the study of computers.
If by computer you mean the machine sitting on my desk, you're wrong. If you mean the notion of an abstract computer, and things that can be computed, then I agree - but this is clearly a branch of mathematics? Computer science seems to be just a subset of discrete mathematics to me - the notion of an algorithm has been in mathematics since the 9th century - it doesn't change just because we've now got machines that can carry them out very fast.
There is no such thing as "computation science"
Well, the "science in the name" rule applies here - computation theory is of course mathematics, not science, just like the rest of computer "science".

[ Parent ]
Actually, I agree with you. (none / 0) (#173)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:51:03 AM EST

I agree with you on many points.

Of course, by "computer" I mean the abstract notion of a machine that is capable of manipulating information. (i.e. "Computing" things.) I lump all sorts of things, from masively parallel grids to connectivist networks into the idea of a "computer".

In that sense, you are right -- CS is nothing but a branch of maths, and not a very exciting one, at that.

But at the same time, there is also another "CS" out there that is completely unrelated to maths -- the "CS" of studing how to program right. Anything from software engineering to compiler design to language processing falls into this area. I have a very hard time accepting that UML is a mathematical theory. :))

However, this "other" CS is not very much a science. Even something like psychology is more scientific than software engineering. :)

In short, I guess people really need to decide what they want. Either they study math, or they honestly admit that they are programmers.

(Not that there is anything wrong with programming; writing good, innovative code is the hardest thing this side of lyric poetry.)

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

CS is my favourite branch of maths. (none / 0) (#199)
by zakalwe on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 10:52:48 AM EST

Anything from software engineering to compiler design to language processing falls into this area.
Much of this tends to be classified as "Software Engineering", seperate from the more pure "Computer Science". Even so, I think a good case can be made for classifying at least some of it as mathematics. Much of mathematics is about determining and proving properties of various systems, but there is a long established area where it has been concerned with how oto get results - Algorithms. Most algorithms before computers were very simple, almost trivial, such as the algorithm for adding multi-digit numbers we're taught as children. Some are slightly more complex like the sieve of Eratosthenes or the Quadratic sieve, but most pre-computers were very simple, with a few dozen steps.

Computer algorithms are much longer, and are applied to a much wider domain than these simple mathematical operations, but they are essentially the same - a series of steps to accomplish a goal. An algorithm for transforming a symbolic language into machine code isn't completely different from one that computes primes, except that there are many more steps. A well understood area like compiler design is still essentially mathematics.

On the other hand, I'll admit that most of software engineering probably isn't. A great deal is really more to do with managing the human factors than pure mathematical code. Productivity, reusability of components, deadlines and documentation aren't really things maths is applicable to.

Either they study math, or they honestly admit that they are programmers.
Or both of course. I'll admit that my job involves almost completely "Software Engineering" with little actual application of "Computer Science", but I'm still glad of my more math related background. Certainly they've proved much more useful than any course I've taken in Software Engineering - good practices are more easily acquired by doing than study.

[ Parent ]
I guess what I'm trying to say here... (none / 0) (#202)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 11:31:02 AM EST

...is that what is called "CS" is really two different disciplines -- one deals with fairly standard mathematical stuff (like, for example, graph theory -- can anyone honestly say where "math" ends and "CS" begins?) and the other deals with aesthetic guidelines. (i.e. "This is how it works because it works and it is beautiful")

The second part invloves a great deal of what is taught to CS majors; for example, let's randomly pick functional programming. There is almost nothing in mathematical theory that says why functional programming should be advantagous over any other kind. Besides, it is all translated into assembly anyways, so from a fundamentally theoretical point of view, functional programming is useless. But, we study it because we like it and because it is "beautiful". CS is full of things like that; things that are really studied only for their aesthetic value.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

Wow you are so wrong... (none / 0) (#166)
by jgerman on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:21:28 AM EST

... that I'm beginning to think I've been trolled. Or you're just a bitter mathmetician. Especially with your little straw man, insinuating that I claimed that because numbers are used in Computer Science that it's a math.

Hmmmm definitions for Computer Science:
http://cse.stanford.edu/resources/users_guide/01.html
http://www.cs.wits.ac.za/info/what.html
http://www.columbia.edu/~tah10/cs1001/whatcs.html
http://www.cs.oswego.edu/emma/advisement/what-is-csc.html
All proving you wrong. Computer Science IS NOT the study of computers. If that somehow irks you... maybe you should find a cave somewhere.

P.S. Amazing how something that "doesn't exist" deserves an international conference: http://www.science.uva.nl/events/ICCS2003/.

Considering that you are comletely talking out of your ass (since you obviously don't have the facts to back up your claims), and I don't believe anyone could be that clueless I'm going to assume that you are, in fact, a troll. Oh well, it's not the first time I got bit by a troll.


if textbooks were a kuro5hin user, they would probably be Silent Chris. because textbooks piss me off. -- anaesthesis
[ Parent ]

You're totally right. (none / 0) (#171)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:39:53 AM EST

You guessed it. I am, in fact, totally clueless and a troll. I have absolutely no clue what I am talking about, since I am completely unqualified in the subject matter. :))

P.S. One quibble: notice the difference between "computation" and "computational" science. Besides, equating "computational science" (the facetious and incorrect label for "numerical methods", a.k.a. "computational maths") with CS is bogus to say the least.

Anyways, take care and don't let yourself get too caught up.

   -- Signed, Lev Andropoff, cosmonaut.
[ Parent ]

One quote got me in trouble with the ladies once (5.00 / 1) (#111)
by shigelojoe on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 06:33:03 PM EST

In my sophomore English class, we had to choose a quote we found in a book of quotes and then create a short presentation explaining it. I chose this one:

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
 - Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)  

Leave it to all of the girls in my class to take this to mean that women are greedy for money. For the rest of the week I was the resident 'chauvinist'.

It was (and is) true, though. ; )

If men didn't exist, there would be no idiots (4.00 / 1) (#124)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 09:56:03 AM EST

Just because it's trivially true doesn't mean it isn't non-trivially sexist.

Good choice for the quote du jour though! I like it!


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Shooting yourself in the leg... (none / 0) (#128)
by Gutza on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 11:25:39 AM EST

The way I see it, the quotation you're commenting on doesn't mean that women are greedy bla-bla (and the guy you answered to seems to agree that's not the meaning - he's just pointing out that's what the women understood).

My understanding of the quotation is the romantic idea that without women, men wouldn't be driven to [earn more | progress | learn | behave | get educated | insert preferred goal in life here].

Now you couldn't say this was sexist, because he didn't comment on what would've happened if there were no more men - as such, the quotation as it stands is at best flattering to women, and at worst both flattering to women AND offending to men.

On the other hand I'll refrain out of courtesy from commenting on how my understanding of the quotation affects the spirit of your comment's title. But you just may be wrong.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

Without debate, there would be no Kuro5hin (none / 0) (#131)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 12:26:56 PM EST

My understanding of the quotation is the romantic idea that without women, men wouldn't be driven to [earn more | progress | learn | behave | get educated | insert preferred goal in life here].

Ah. My understanding of the quotation is that money is an invention of humankind, and that humans reproduce sexually and live for a finite amount of time.

On the other hand I'll refrain out of courtesy from commenting on how my understanding of the quotation affects the spirit of your comment's title.

If you took the spirit of that title to be in any way offensive, you may just have proved my point.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Flawed logic (none / 0) (#140)
by Gutza on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:46:09 PM EST

I'm not sure what you're trying to get to, but FYI the negation of "all men are idiots" isn't "all women aren't". That is, if you're going to assume I'm the most intelligent man on the face of the Earth, which I trust is not true (i.e. somehow proving that I'm an idiot would make all men idiots). So, back to my previous comment's title.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]
Erm... (none / 0) (#141)
by synaesthesia on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 02:06:24 PM EST

FYI the negation of "all men are idiots" isn't "all women aren't"

That is neither here nor there. I claimed neither position, merely that the non-existence of men would bring about the end of the human race.

When I say, "If men didn't exist, there would be no idiots" (by which I should clarify that I mean human idiots), the only comment I am making about the difference between the sexes is that both are required for the survival of the species.

The fact that you think I might be passing comment on the relative intelligence of men and women is telling, and goes some way towards demonstrating my original point: the meaning of a comment may go beyond the statement it appears to make.

For instance, if someone comes into your bookshop and says, "Nice bookshop. It would be a shame if anything happened to it. All this paper, it would go up in seconds if you were to have a fire", are they threatening you? Depends on the context.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Ok (5.00 / 1) (#158)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 04:47:14 AM EST

The context was a guy saying some women took that quotation as chauvinist and offensive. In this context you post a message with that title, commenting on the fact that it's sexist. While I admit signals may be confusing out of context, you made pretty sure you had the right context for sending the signal I received.

In any case, if you honestly meant what you're explaining above then yes, I was out of line and I apologize.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

No need to apologise (none / 0) (#162)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 06:12:43 AM EST

Of course, I intended the context of my comment to carry sexist overtones. That was the point I was trying to make: that just because something which might sound offensive (or threatening) has an alternative interpretation, doesn't mean it isn't intended to cause offense (or carry a threat). Not to say that the girls in shigelojoe's class were right; just to explain where they might have been coming from.

I really like the quotation, because I think it generates a lot of interesting discussion (QED).

Perhaps I should point out that if I call all men idiots, I call myself an idiot!

It may just be that I have less romantic notions about money as a driving force than you do ;)


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Riposte (none / 0) (#148)
by epepke on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 06:52:21 PM EST

"Your argument would be more convincing if Jackie Kennedy had married a plumber."


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
Emerson (5.00 / 4) (#112)
by needless on Sun Apr 20, 2003 at 07:06:21 PM EST

"I hate quotations."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Quotes from Ken Titus (4.00 / 2) (#116)
by thenick on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:17:40 AM EST

He's the best sitcom character ever. Nuggets of knowledge flow from his mouth like water from Niagara Falls.

"You don't drag a woman out of a strip club. You put a twenty in your zipper and back out slowly."

"You don't need a gun, son. The men in our family have penises."

"You drink, you screw, and you die."

 
"Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler, he did a lot, but don't we all wish he would have stayed home and gotten stoned?" -Dex

Babbage (5.00 / 2) (#117)
by enkidu on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 02:06:04 AM EST

"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
- Charles Babbage

Aphorisms of Friedrich Nietzsche [1844 - 1900] (3.00 / 1) (#119)
by mayor on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 03:08:08 AM EST

Insights of Friedrich Nietzsche [1844 - 1900 ]

Corruption. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold
in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What? You search? You would multiply yourself by ten, by a hundred? You
seek followers? Seek zeros!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the end one loves one's desire and not what is desired.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The inclination to depreciate himself, to let himself be robbed, lied to,
and taken advantage of, could the shame(modesty) of a god among men.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen
our evil as what is best in us.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Knowledge for its own sake"-that is the last snare of morality; with that
 one becomes completely entangled in it once more.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want, one and for all, not to know many things. Wisdom sets limits to
knowledge too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Those who deny chance.-No victor believes in chance.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How one tries to improve bad arguments.-Some people throw a bit of their
personality after their bad arguments, as if that might straighten their
paths and turn them into right and good arguments-just as a man in a
bowling alley, after he has let go of the ball, still tries to direct it
with gestures.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Punishment.-A strange thing, our punishment! It does not cleanse the
criminal, it is no atonement; on the contrary, it pollutes worse than the
crime does.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sensuality often hastens the growth of love so much that the roots remain
weak and are easily torn up.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfaithfulness, a condition of mastership. Nothing avails: every master
has but one disciple, and that one becomes unfaithful to him, for he too
is destined for mastership.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
New struggles.- After Buddha was dead, his shadow was still shown for
centuries in a cave- a tremendous, gruesome shadow. God is dead but given
the way men are, there may still be caves for thousands of years in which
his shadow will be shown.-And we-we still have to vanquish his shadow, too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A dangerous resolve.-The Christian resolve to find the world ugly and bad
has made the world ugly and bad.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What? A great man? I always see only the actor of his own ideal.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The value of insipid opponents. At times one remains faithful to a cause
only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage as a long conversation. When marrying, one should ask oneself
    this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with
    this woman into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory,
    but the most time during the association belongs to conversation.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jokes. A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to have all men against you.-If anyone dared to say now, "Whoever is
    not for me, is against me," he would immediately have all men against
    hi.-This does our time honor.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Danger in happiness.-"Now everything redouds to my best, now I love every
    destiny-who feels like being my destiny?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My dog.-I have given a name to my pain and call it "dog": it is just as
    faithful, just as obtrusive and shameless, just as entertaining, just as
    clever as any other dog-and I can scold it and vent my bad moods on it, as
    others do with their dogs, servants, and wives.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Against an enemy. How good bad music and bad reasons sound when one
    marches against an enemy!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enemies of truth: Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than
    lies.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Opinions and fish.-Possessing opinions is like possessing fish, assuming
    one has a fish pond. One has to go fishing and needs some luck- then one
    has one's own fish, one's own opinions. I am speaking of live opinions, of
    live fish. Others are satisfied if they own a cabinet of fossils- and in
    their heads, "convictions."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Against mediators.-Those who wish to be mediators between two resolute
    thinkers are marked as mediocre: they lack eyes to see the unparalleled;
    seeing things as similar and making them the same is the mark of weak
    eyes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why one contradicts. One often contradicts an opinion when it is really
    only the way in which it has been presented that is unsympathetic.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen
    our evil as what is best in us.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Parable.-Those thinkers in whom all stars move in cyclic orbits are not
    the most profound: whoever looks into himself as into vast space and
    carries galaxies in himself also knows how irregular all galaxies are;
    they lead into the chaos and labyrinth of existence.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Readers of aphorisms. The worst readers of aphorisms are the author's
    friends if they are intent on guessing back from the general to the
    particular instance to which the aphorism owes its origin; for with such
    pot-peeking they reduce the author's whole effort to nothing; so that they
    deservedly gain, not a philosophic outlook or instruction, but-at best, or
    at worst-nothing more than the satisfaction of vulgar curiosity.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not sure who said it ... (5.00 / 1) (#133)
by Mr.Surly on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 12:56:17 PM EST


"A logician trying to explain to a programmer what it is to be logical is like an ichthyologist trying to explain to a fish what it is to be wet."

Geez, who cares about W (1.00 / 4) (#137)
by Silent Chris on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 01:19:49 PM EST

We get it.  You hate the president.  So do I.  You think he'd actually care (more over be literate enough) to actually read and understand these quotes?

Churchill vs. Aston (none / 0) (#143)
by theshunt on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 04:21:13 PM EST

Lady Astor: (to Churchill) If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.
Sir Winston Churchill: (in response) Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.



Another Churchill/Astor (5.00 / 2) (#182)
by CtrlBR on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:15:13 AM EST

From here

If a man were to promise her a huge amount of money - say a million pounds - for the privilege, would she sleep with him? Lady Astor did ponder the question for a while and finally answered, yes, she would, if the money were guaranteed. Churchill then asked her if she would sleep with him for five pounds. Her response was sharp: "Of course not. What do you think I am - a prostitute?" This time Churchill won the battle of wits by answering, "We have already established that fact; we are now simply negotiating about price."

If no-one thinks you're a freedom fighter than you're probably not a terrorist.
-- Gully Foyle

[ Parent ]
and you thought your job was tough.. (none / 0) (#144)
by CENGEL3 on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 05:05:07 PM EST

"Go down that road until you get blown up and then report back!" - George S. Patton (to the commander of a recon unit)

Huh? (none / 0) (#146)
by jgerman on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 05:51:23 PM EST

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." - Carl Sagan [I personally see it as a paraphrase of the famous Archimedes' "give me a place to stand" etc., only this one stirs imagination better IMHO]

I think you totally missed the boat on this one. Those two quotes don't have nearly the same meaning... but if that's what you take from it...

One more for the collection, though I don't remember where I heard it, maybe I made it up but I doubt it:

"Moses couldn't part her legs" -- when referring to a woman who won't sleep with you ;)


if textbooks were a kuro5hin user, they would probably be Silent Chris. because textbooks piss me off. -- anaesthesis

mmm...? (none / 0) (#165)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:12:38 AM EST

Those two quotes don't have nearly the same meaning...

Cryptic, but empty. What's your interpretation?


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

Sorry... (none / 0) (#169)
by jgerman on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:35:48 AM EST

... I tend to post quickly from work. I'm not sure where the paraphrasing comes in as the Saga quote is essentially taking a pedantic stab at the phrase "I made it from scratch" (and it's variations) by joking that you can't make anything from scratch unless you start at the nothing at the very beginning and create the universe.

The Archimedes qoute, on the other hand, was made to highlight the importance of the two simple machines the lever and the fulcrum (maybe they're considered the same single machine, I can't remember). Claiming he could move the world with a long enough lever, a fulcrum, a place to stand sounds initially like hyperbole (or probably did then) but is a true statement, aptly illustrating the priciple and power of the lever.

I'm curious, what's the logic behind claiming one is a paraphrase of the other?


if textbooks were a kuro5hin user, they would probably be Silent Chris. because textbooks piss me off. -- anaesthesis
[ Parent ]

The absolute reference (none / 0) (#176)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:54:50 AM EST

Of course "paraphrase" is a pretty strong term, and not necessarily perfectly appropriate in my comment to that quotation. However, there is a strong similarity from my point of view.

Archimedes wasn't highlighting the importance of any machine, he was highlighting the relativity of everything (not in the sense we understand the term after Einstein, of course) and was highlighting the importance (and improbability) of an absolute reference (a "place to stand").

Sagan on the other hand was highlighting the "reference" we always consider to be our Universe by hypothetically suggesting its absence, thus making one reflect on how we take it for granted. The generic idea is that to make apple pie you need apples. We tend not to think apples are readily available because trees, Earth, Sun exist and so on.

It's obviously my personal interpretation, for me both quotations highlight the same: the importance of an absolute reference. Hence the "IMHO" appended to my original comment.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]

Heh (none / 0) (#189)
by jgerman on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:18:26 AM EST

... I probably came off the wrong way in the first post (bit by the quick work post again) see above. But I still disagree with your explanation of the Archimedes quote. But it is all opinion. The meaning of things is always subject to personal interpretation. Sorry if I came out as accusatory (sp?).

if textbooks were a kuro5hin user, they would probably be Silent Chris. because textbooks piss me off. -- anaesthesis
[ Parent ]

Frame of reference (none / 0) (#185)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:21:10 AM EST

I always thought the Archimedes quotation was about how the difficulty of moving the earth was relative to our phyiscal relationship with it. And that the Sagan quotation was about how our act of creation was relative to everything already in existence. But I might be wrong.


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
I didn't mean ... (none / 0) (#188)
by jgerman on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 09:16:50 AM EST

... to come off as saying anyone was wrong, regardless of my original wording ;). You (or Gutza below or me for that matter) is wrong. It's all open to interpretation (though I still disagree with context you stated for the archimedes quote).

if textbooks were a kuro5hin user, they would probably be Silent Chris. because textbooks piss me off. -- anaesthesis
[ Parent ]

Hey, no problem (none / 0) (#198)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 10:19:03 AM EST

I meant "wrong" in the relative sense ;)

You [...] is wrong

Wacky!


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

nice (5.00 / 1) (#150)
by suntzu on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 08:49:38 PM EST

I liked the list of quotes, and I'm definitely saving some of them. But...

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) [poor guy, never knew about rap]

Way to jump on the bandwagon... 15 or 20 years too late. Seriously. Jokes about rap being unintelligent are about as lame and stale as it gets. Not to mention incorrect. Sure, popular rap is pretty damn unintelligent (with some exceptions), but how much popular music is at all intelligent? If you're looking for intelligent rap (or intelligent music in general), you might want to try an outlet other than MTV or FM radio.

But the quote itself is good.



Rap... (none / 0) (#157)
by Gutza on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 04:41:18 AM EST

My comment was meant to make fun of the fact that, as we all know, rap is not as much sung as it's spoken. That's it.

Who's your vendor, who's your vendor? — Scott Adams
time is K5
[ Parent ]
fair enough (none / 0) (#208)
by suntzu on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 11:27:43 PM EST

sorry for the misunderstanding.

[ Parent ]
nice (4.00 / 1) (#214)
by CountZero on Thu Apr 24, 2003 at 06:27:09 AM EST

I know this is all over already, but I have to point out that the logic of the original comment "[poor guy, never knew about rap]" would indicate that rap IS intelligent, ie, Voltaire thought all songs were about stupid stuff, and that he therefore had obviously never heard (not stupid) rap. Amazing how many different, and wrong interpretations can be taken from one thing. BTW, I am aware that my interpretation was also not the correct one... oh well...

[ Parent ]
Why are you comparing apples with oranges? (none / 0) (#164)
by synaesthesia on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 07:03:48 AM EST

If you think Gutza's comment is lame but Voltaire's quotation is good, presumably you're comparing popular music with intelligent rap. Which, as you point out in the converse, isn't fair.

Or are you saying that intelligent lyrics don't exist when sung, only when rapped?


Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]

my take... (none / 0) (#209)
by suntzu on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 11:31:58 PM EST

was that he was saying that "if you thought that regular songs were bad, then you should see rap," as if to say "intelligent rap doesn't exist." that was my mistake; gutza's comment cleared that up.

and yeah, my point was that voltaire's quotation was generally applicable to popular music, including popular rap.

[ Parent ]

In the End,... (none / 0) (#151)
by ostersc on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 09:34:09 PM EST

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

I love that quote. I developed an AOL Instant Messenger Bot in Java, called JavaAIMBot ( http://jaimbot.sourceforge.net).

When people warn the bot, it responds with that quote and subsequently ignores them.

Thanks Martin.

Scott

why the fuck (4.00 / 5) (#152)
by Judas Iscariot on Mon Apr 21, 2003 at 10:46:21 PM EST

did this POS story get posted?  Posting shallow quotes on the internet is a sure sign of an empty soul.

You fucking McMinds disgust me.

your running on low yourself (none / 0) (#210)
by Cloud Cuckoo on Wed Apr 23, 2003 at 03:47:40 AM EST

"Posting shallow quotes on the internet is a sure sign of an empty soul." - Judas Iscariot

[ Parent ]
Murray Walker (5.00 / 2) (#156)
by hstink on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 01:43:49 AM EST

A hilarious race commentator of yore.  Here are some select quotes:

"He's obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can't see it."

"With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go."

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?"

"Anything happens in Grand Prix racing and it usually does."

"I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem."

Murray: "There's a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari."
James: "No Murray, that's his rear safety light."

"...and he's lost both right front tyres."

"...and there's no damage to the car.....except to the car itself."

"And I interrupt myself to bring you this..."

"This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well."

"Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."

"This has been a great season for Nelson Piquet, as he is now known, and always has been."

"And the first five places are filled by five different cars."

"Tambay's hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."

"As you can see, visually, with your eyes..."

"Andrea de Cesaris...the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them."

"Now the Frenchman Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte."

"I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong."

"Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn't! It's a lap record."

"And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One racing."

"And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race."

Murray: "Ferrari won't be developing their car anymore this season."
Brundle: "How do you know that?"
Murray: "I was there when I said it."

"Look up there! That's the sky!"

"...and here comes Damon Hill in the Williams!  This car is absolutely unique!  Except for the one behind it... which is exactly the same..."

"A sad ending, albeit a happy one."

"There's nothing wrong with the car except it's on fire."

"There's only a second between them. One. Thats how long a second is."

-h

Some of my favourites (5.00 / 1) (#186)
by hengist on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 08:23:27 AM EST

But I don't know who said them, I'm afraid.

"The profession of politician is said to be the world's second oldest - I have come to realise it bears a strong resemblance to the first"

"Those that live in the past belong in the past"

"Those that desire power are the ones least suited to have it"

There can be no Pax Americana

The Wisdom of Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf (3.00 / 1) (#207)
by sypher on Tue Apr 22, 2003 at 02:46:09 PM EST

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."

"They're coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks."

"We will kill them all........most of them anyway."

"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"

"We have them surrounded in their tanks"

"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"

"Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."

"Let the American infidels bask in their illusion"

"I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad."

Britain "is not worth an old shoe"

"we have given them a sour taste"

"blood-sucking bastards"

"Be assured. Baghdad is safe, protected"

"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."

"They are superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone."

"We're going to drag the drunken junkie nose of Bush through Iraq's desert, him and his follower dog Blair...There are 26 million Saddams in Iraq"

We are winning!

Mostly from Here

I dreamt of it once, now I fear it dreams of me

Could've resisted, but didn't (none / 0) (#211)
by Rademir on Wed Apr 23, 2003 at 07:26:30 AM EST

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends."
--Joseph Campbell, Creative Mythology

"Every day we, as a species, do so much to destroy Creation's ability to give us life. But that Creation continues to do everything in its power to give us life anyway. And that's true love."
--Julia Butterfly Hill

"Suicide is an extreme vote of no confidence in a society that doesn't work."
--Sharif Abdullah

"The pupil's imagination is 'schooled' to accept service in place of value. Medical treatment is mistaken for health care, social work for the improvement of community life, police protection for safety, military poise for national security, the rat race for productive work."
--Ivan Illich, Deschooling Society, Chapter 1 "Why We Must Disestablish School"

"Alternative models are neither right nor wrong, just more or less useful in allowing us to operate in the world and discover more and better options for solving problems."
--Andrew Weil, 1986 preface to The Natural Mind

"The difference between theory and practice is bigger in theory than in practice"
--unknown

"There is nothing so practical as a good theory"
--Kurt Lewin

"Everybody experiences far more than he understands. Yet it is experience, rather than understanding, that influences behavior."
--Marshall Mcluhan

"We can be knowledgable with other men's knowledge but we cannot be wise with other men's wisdom."
--Montaigne

"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."
--Albert Einstein

"In the world of human thought generally, and in physical science particularly, the most important and fruitful concepts are those to which it is impossible to attach a well-defined meaning."
--H.A. Kramers

"You can never represent yourself totally .... to seek self-knowledge is to embark on a journey which ... will always be incomplete, cannot be charted on a map, will never halt, cannot be described."
--Douglas R. Hofstadter, Godel Escher Bach

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself (I am large, I contain multitudes)."
--Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Someone, after listening for some time, accused Gautama Buddha contradicting himself. He explained that some stray from the path to the right, so he tells them, "Go left, go left!" Others stray from the path to the left, so he tells them "Go right, go right!"

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
The part is greater than its role in the whole.
--Tom Atlee

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
--Tolstoy

It is not a matter of exposing one's unchanging identity, the true self that has always been, but a way of exposing one's ceaseless growth, the dynamic self that has yet to be.
--unknown

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
--Jack London

"The proper condition of the human is not bovine placidity...(it is) the highest degree of tension that can be creatively borne."
--Brian Swimme, Canticle to the Cosmos

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
--Dom Helder Camara

"Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice that make philanthropy necessary."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

"I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I'm a human being first and foremost, and as such I am for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole."
--Malcolm X

"A practical scheme, says Oscar Wilde, is either one already in existence, or a scheme that could be carried out under the existing conditions; but it is exactly the existing conditions that one objects to. And any scheme that could accept these conditions is wrong and foolish. The true criterion of the practical, therefore, is not whether the latter can keep intact the wrong and foolish; rather is it whether the scheme has the vitality enough to leave the stagnant waters of the old, and build, as well, sustain life."
--Emma Goldman

"It is more important to root out the violence latent in the structure of society than to make peace when open violence breaks out."
--Jayaprakash Narayan, introduction to Vinoba's Third Power

"Our purpose is to consciously, deliberately evolve toward a wiser, more liberated and luminous state of being; to return to Eden, make friends with the snake and set up our computers among the wild apple trees."
--Tom Robbins, Life magazine, December 1988: "Why are we here?"

"[O]ne might state it perhaps thus: free and responsible development of the individual, so that he may place his powers freely and gladly in the service of all mankind."
--Albert Einstein

"Listen to your wife, your husband, your father, your mother, your children, your friends; to those who love you and those who don't, to those who bore you, to your enemies. It will work a small miracle. And perhaps a great one."
--Brenda Ueland [Listen to yourself, too]

Don't just do something, be there!
--Buddha

"Show up & choose to be present, pay attention to what has heart and meaning, tell the truth without blame or judgment, and be open rather than attached to the outcome."
--Angeles Arrien

"Things undreamt of are daily being seen, the impossible is ever becoming possible. We are constantly being astonished these days at the amazing discoveries in the field of violence. But I maintain that far more undreamt of and seemingly impossible discoveries will be made in the field of nonviolence."
--M. K. Gandhi

"In 1989, thirteen nations comprising 1,695,000 people experienced nonviolent revolutions that succeeded beyond anyone's wildest expectations ... If we add all the countries touched by major nonviolent actions in our century (the Philippines, South Africa ... the independence movement in India ...) the figure reaches 3,337,400,000, a staggering 65% of humanity! All this in the teeth of the assertion, endlessly repeated, that nonviolence doesn't work in the 'real' world."
--Walter Wink

"Hitler and Mussolini were only the primary spokesmen for the attitude of domination and craving for power that are in the heart of almost everyone. Until the source is cleared, there will always be confusion and hate, wars and class antagonisms."
--J. Krishnamurti

"If it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
--Alexsandr Solzhenitsyn

"We can debug relationships, but it's always good policy to consider the people themselves to be features. People get annoyed when you try to debug them."
--Larry Wall, second State of the Onion speech

"Trust each other again and again. When the trust level gets high enough, people transcend apparent limits, discovering new and awesome abilities of which they were previously unaware."
--David Armistead

"The dogmatist within is always worse than the enemy without."
--S. J. Gould

"There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence to which the idealist fighting for peace by nonviolent methods most easily succumbs; activism and overwork."
--Thomas Merton

Recursion: If you get the point, stop, else see Recursion.
Infinite recursion: See Infinite recursion.

"Truth comes as conqueror only to those who have lost the art of receiving it as friend."
--Rabindranath Tagore

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
--Philip K. Dick

"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers."
--Thomas Pynchon

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
--Rudyard Kipling

"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone."
--Mark Twain

"The best break anybody ever gets is in bein' alive in the first place. An' you don't unnerstan' what a perfect deal it is until you realizes that you ain't gone be stuck with it forever, either."
--Porkypine (in Walt Kelly's Pogo)

Consciousness is our Oxygen Challenge


A quote for all times (none / 0) (#212)
by Bad Mojo on Wed Apr 23, 2003 at 02:46:13 PM EST

See sig below.

-Bad Mojo
"The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!"
B. Watterson's Calvin - "Calvin & Hobbes"

Canada (none / 0) (#213)
by DominantParadigm on Thu Apr 24, 2003 at 03:43:44 AM EST

It's like a loft over a great party

-That big hairy comic from "One Hour Photo" (what's his name?)

Caller:So you're advocating bombing innocent children? Howard Stern:Yes, of course!


Oh, and... (none / 0) (#215)
by CountZero on Thu Apr 24, 2003 at 07:33:25 AM EST

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, still exists"

One of my favourites, but I have no idea who said it.

Corrected Kierkegaard quote (none / 0) (#216)
by jholder on Thu Apr 24, 2003 at 04:14:18 PM EST

It is actually:

"People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have, for example, freedom of thought; instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation."

- Søren Kierkegaard, Journals, Apr 14 1838.

I like Kierkegaard very much, and the translation I used is one of more highly regarded. (regaarded? grin.)

Finally, some Good humor on this site! (none / 0) (#217)
by eSolutions on Thu Apr 24, 2003 at 06:51:37 PM EST

This is the kind of humor I like.

It's exhaustive, it makes you think (as well as smile!), and it shows the author to be a good, well-rounded person. The kind of person who cares about things like technology and society. The kind of person who wears handmade burlap pants. The kind of person who is like a single, humble note played in an orchestral melody, both shaping and shaped by those around her or him, lovely on his or her or his own but also accepting of the special natures of those around h/er/im.

Best of all, it's accessible.

----
Making periods more convenient -- one box at a time.
--Tampax Commercial

We shall asketh not whence these quotes cometh (none / 0) (#218)
by Rk on Fri Apr 25, 2003 at 05:53:48 PM EST

...for we that you got them from looking though fortune cookie files. You know, if everyone like you actually used your time productively instead of sifting through the contents of /usr/share/games/fortune/wisdom you might realise that there are many other places where you can acquire plenty of the same.

Unfortunately I don't know of any.

The Yoda quote (none / 0) (#220)
by Spendocrat on Sat Apr 26, 2003 at 05:19:02 AM EST

Needs to be NEVER USED AGAIN.

Yet another quote (5.00 / 1) (#221)
by pfdietz on Mon Apr 28, 2003 at 08:44:45 PM EST

Coin a witty saying, and your name will live forever
    -- Anonymous

Quotes | 220 comments (184 topical, 36 editorial, 0 hidden)
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