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[P]
Today is West Virginia Day.

By ubernostrum in Culture
Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 01:24:51 AM EST
Tags: Freedom (all tags)
Freedom

Today -- the 20th of June -- is a day of immense significance, a day of great historical importance. It is West Virginia Day. The story of this day is a strange one, worth reading at least once in your life if only for the amusement value. Since I have nothing better to do and I have a Golden Horseshoe over in my bookcase, I figure I'll tell the tale to anyone who cares to know it. Now read on . . .


It all began when the pig-headed state of Virginia passed a silly constitution in 1776, which granted suffrage only to white males who owned at least 50 acres of land (25 if it was "improved" land). This was wonderful for rich eastern Virginian "gentlemen farmers" who owned big plantations, but it kind of sucked for the western half of the state which (then, as now) was populated by poor, ignorant, savage rednecks whose greatest asset was an ability to breed faster than starvation and feuding could kill them off. Those earliest hillbilly ancestors of the great state of West Virginia displayed the true mountaineer spirit, surviving in the face of overwhelming evolutionary and economic factors which were against them, and were the founders of the great lineage of West Virginia rednecks which to this day thrives in the hills and valleys of this beautiful state.

In 1829, eastern Virginia made the concession of calling a constitutional convention, and the rich landowners (remember, they're the ones who get to vote) voted down every reform suggested. The rednecks went home empty-handed and grumbling. The eastern Virginians tried various peace offerings including the formation of new counties (and thus more opportunities to vote), and the building of roads throughout western Virginia, but as these reforms did not guarantee their descendants the promised land of beer and TV dinners, the western Virginians continued to be grizzled and angry.

In 1850, Virginia held another convention. This time, every white male 21 or older got the vote, and the constitution was changed to allow for the people to elect the governor and the judges. However, the sneaky eastern Virginians slipped in a provision on property tax reform: property would be taxed at face value -- except for slaves. Eastern Virginians owned lots of slaves because they were rich. Western Virginians were still dirt-poor and couldn't afford slaves to get the discount, so now they got to pay (relatively) higher property taxes than their "gentlemen" neighbors to the east. More grumbling ensued.

Then the War of Northern Aggression came along, and western Virginians had their chance. From 11 June to 25 June 1861, a group of delegates meeting in the city of Wheeling decided that they'd had enough and the Virginia legislature was a bunch of loonies who shouldn't be running the state. To solve this problem, they declared themselves to be the government of the "Reorganized State of Virginia," which re-joined the Union on 24 October of that year.

Unfortunately, there were serious problems with a bunch of guys in Wheeling just declaring themselves to be the legitimate government of the Union state of Virginia, especially when it seemed that Virginia was still quite avidly fighting for the Confederacy. The solution was simple, and founded in the most sacred tradition of American government: the Reorganized State of Virginia's government reasoned that if the United States could secede from Great Britain and Virginia could secede from the United States, then, by God, they could secede from Virginia!

At first it appeared there might be a constitutional issue since secession from a state would require the permission of the state to be seceded from, and the government that sat in Richmond was, by this point, not too happy with the government that sat in Wheeling. There was a happy ending, however, as President Lincoln had officially recognized the Reorganized Government of Virginia and allowed it to send Senators and Representatives to Washington. Having remembered this convenient fact, the Reorganized Government granted itself permission to secede from itself, and submitted a bill recognizing its statehood to Congress.

On 31 December 1862, Lincoln signed a freshly-passed statehood bill, which noticeably did not include provisions for the outlawing of slavery. On 26 March 1863, the (at the time) fifty counties of West Virginia approved the statehood bill (with an amendment abolishing slavery), and on 20 June of that year, the State of West Virginia was officially created, with Arthur I. Boreman (who had run unopposed for the office) as its first governor.

The Reorganized Government of Virginia, sensing that its work was done, promptly got the hell out of the new state, moving to Alexandria and eventually to Richmond. In 1865, after the war was over, the Reorganized Government challenged the legitimacy of West Virginia's statehood and elections were held in a couple of counties to determine which state they would be part of. The federal government, in a "police action" of sorts, sent Union troops to the polls and scared off the pro-Virginia factions. Then, the U.S. Supreme Court, speaking for a Federal government which was by this time rather tired of the whole mess, decided that Reorganized Virginia couldn't have its cake and eat it too, and handed down a ruling which implicitly approved of West Virginia's statehood while establishing a clear boundary between the two states. By 1871 the legal battles were pretty much over; West Virginia was official and had scored some extra counties in the deal.

And that was only the beginning. The tale of West Virginia since that historic day in 1863 is a long and storied one, full of heroic coon-dogs and legendary pickup trucks. But it's a tale for another day, because today, on the 20th of June, West Virginians young and old remember the origins of their state and gather together as one people, united with one voice and one cause. On this day we stand tall and look eastward, toward the state from which we separated in times of strife and turmoil, and we remember the hardships we suffered and how we toiled for our liberty. And we call out with that one voice, with one message, the motto of our great state:

TAKE US BACK!

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Poll
West Virginia:
o Wild, Wonderful. 13%
o Take me home, country roads. 17%
o You've got a purty mouth. 68%

Votes: 51
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Golden Horseshoe
o War of Northern Aggression
o require the permission of the state to be seceded from,
o Arthur I. Boreman
o a ruling
o Also by ubernostrum


Display: Sort:
Today is West Virginia Day. | 84 comments (54 topical, 30 editorial, 0 hidden)
Yee - Hah! (4.25 / 8) (#4)
by Edgy Loner on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 01:29:10 AM EST

I'll send a copy of this to to my wife and my sister. Lucky for me that's only one email address.

This is not my beautiful house.
This is not my beautiful knife.
Share a computer, do they? (none / 0) (#67)
by rusty on Sun Jun 22, 2003 at 01:51:13 PM EST

Handy.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
WV isn't a state. (4.80 / 5) (#7)
by slothman on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 02:39:29 AM EST

I saw a Cops or something about a police officer in Arizona stopping a WV driver. The driver was confused until the officer gave him a good reason. West Virginia isn't a real state. I still think that's funny. I wonder what the quality of education is in AZ?

Arizona (4.62 / 8) (#8)
by Bad Harmony on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 03:32:15 AM EST

The problem is all those damn foreigners emigrating from New Mexico.

5440' or Fight!
[ Parent ]

Ha! (4.66 / 3) (#61)
by randyk on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 01:54:55 PM EST

Reminds me of a story I heard from New Mexico talking about a class of high school graduates that wanted to organize a trip to see the summer olympics in Atlanta: When the organizer called and said they were from New Mexico, the person on the phone said, "I'm sorry, but this number is for United States purchasers only. You'll have to contact your own agents in your country."

Say, now that I think about it, I see a business plan in 2008(?) When the New Mexico state quarter comes out. I'll start up a service where I make a big deal about some foreign country circulating a coind that's just like our quarters, but it's only worth a penny. But, for a limited time, I'll pay full market value for them.



[ Parent ]
This isn't about technology, culture, or Iraq (3.00 / 3) (#11)
by debacle on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 04:27:27 AM EST

And, as such, plus one for you.

It was nice to read.

It tastes sweet.

Yeah! (2.00 / 3) (#14)
by Gornauth on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 08:03:32 AM EST

Just got out of bed, this article is the third i read so far.... I didnt like the others but; "You have brought a smile to my face!".

 +1 FP I like the way you write. Please post more!


As a person whose wife is a decendant of ... (none / 0) (#15)
by pyramid termite on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 08:16:00 AM EST

... the infamous McCoys, I salute you and West Virginia. There's nothing quite like hill people ... I married one.

On the Internet, anyone can accuse you of being a dog.
Sorry, but.. (5.00 / 1) (#18)
by ignatiusst on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 09:19:02 AM EST

The McCoys were on the Kentucky side of the Tug Fork river. The Hatfields were from West Virginia.

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift
[ Parent ]

Yes, but their descendants and relatives ... (5.00 / 1) (#34)
by pyramid termite on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 03:45:22 PM EST

... are on both sides of the river. Not to mention that to fight, one or the other side had to cross, didn't they?

On the Internet, anyone can accuse you of being a dog.
[ Parent ]
Fuck You.. (3.32 / 25) (#17)
by ignatiusst on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 09:15:27 AM EST

Speaking as a "poor, ignorant, savage redneck", I can't possibly begin to tell you how offended I am by the description of my people (the Appalachian people) presented here.

Why not throw all sense of decency to the wind and write a story describing how the poor, ignorant, savage niggers got their freedom in 1861? Or how the rich and greedy Jew got his due in 1939 Germany?

Yeah, my people are (for the most part) poor and ignorant rednecks but, at least we have the common sense to treat other people with the respect they deserve.

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift

I can't beleive this is modded 4.83 (2.50 / 2) (#23)
by hamsterboy on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 12:06:47 PM EST

It's called sarcasm. Perhaps you've heard of it? Or maybe you think this:
Western Virginians were still dirt-poor and couldn't afford slaves to get the discount, so now they got to pay (relatively) higher property taxes than their "gentlemen" neighbors to the east. More grumbling ensued.
is meant as a sincere compliment to eastern Virginians? Sheesh. Oversensitive political correctness is destroying the art of satire.

Hamster
[ Parent ]

Ratings (4.50 / 4) (#24)
by evilpenguin on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 12:24:26 PM EST

I'll rate most any comment with a subject of "Fuck You." a 5.
--
# nohup cat /dev/dsp > /dev/hda & killall -9 getty
[ Parent ]
It's good to have standards. ;D [nt] (none / 0) (#25)
by hamsterboy on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 12:27:48 PM EST


Hamster
[ Parent ]

Satire.. (3.00 / 2) (#26)
by ignatiusst on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 12:30:30 PM EST

I appreciate satire as much as anyone. I really do. Most West Virginians find it a great source of amusement that our state was formed unconstitutionally by the Federal government as a way of pissing on the greatest state of the Confederacy (that is, Virginia).

But, how, do you suppose, does the denigration of a people add to the satirical value of any work?

This piece could be a wonderful send up on the issue of West Virginia's formation if it didn't rely on pandering to bigotry people have against West Virginians:

... the western half of the state which (then, as now) was populated by poor, ignorant, savage rednecks whose greatest asset was an ability to breed faster than starvation and feuding could kill them off. Those earliest hillbilly ancestors of the great state of West Virginia displayed the true mountaineer spirit, surviving in the face of overwhelming evolutionary and economic factors...
and

The tale of West Virginia since that historic day in 1863 is a long and storied one, full of heroic coon-dogs and legendary pickup trucks.

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift
[ Parent ]

Self mockery is an ancient humor tradition... (5.00 / 2) (#31)
by rantweasel on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 02:25:46 PM EST

Toying with stereotypes, making fun of misconceptions, and dry wit are a triumverate that's older than dirt.  They're a powerful satirical combination, and they can be really cutting (see the comments about the eastern landowners).  If you can't see this article for what it is, I feel very sorry for you.  Save your vitriol and bitterness for real assaults on WVa.

mathias

[ Parent ]

Oh! (none / 0) (#52)
by Kwil on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 10:55:59 PM EST

And here I thought the comment was the satire..

That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn! -NJ CoolBreeze


[ Parent ]
Thanks. (5.00 / 1) (#38)
by ubernostrum on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 04:21:27 PM EST

See, personally, I find a lot of humor in this piece, because I grew up in and still live in West Virginia. Many people I have sent this to who also grew up in and still live in West Virginia enjoy it as well. It's called being able to laugh at yourself and the way other people see you, kind of like how I treat people who find out I'm from WV and surreptitiously look to see if I'm wearing shoes.

Besides, it's nowhere near as bad as the crap the University of Virginia pulled a while back . . .


--
You cooin' with my bird?
[ Parent ]

College story (2.50 / 2) (#68)
by rusty on Sun Jun 22, 2003 at 01:57:01 PM EST

I went to college in Virginia, and in a sociology class, the professor asked if anyone had lived with someone from a  different country. There were a few "I lived with an exchange student," and "My parents immigrated" answers, and then one girl raised her hand. The professor called on her and she said "My roommate's from West Virginia."

This got a big laugh. :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

Respect? (none / 0) (#69)
by wonko on Sun Jun 22, 2003 at 04:16:12 PM EST

Yeah, my people are (for the most part) poor and ignorant rednecks but, at least we have the common sense to treat other people with the respect they deserve.

Right. Just as long as "other people" aren't blacks, Jews, Mexicans, Arabs, Democrats...do I need to go on? I grew up in the south. I always thought it was strange how a place so racially and culturally diverse could contain so many dumb rednecks who hated everyone but themselves. Or are you saying that such people just don't deserve respect?

[ Parent ]

Poor they may be but ignorant? (5.00 / 3) (#20)
by knott art on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 11:22:05 AM EST

In the olden times in old West Virginia a stranger is riding his mule up Possum Trot Hollow by a preacher's house.  The preacher looking out his window sees man and mule and --some distance back -- the man's wife.  The wife is pregnant and carrying on her back all their possessions.  The preacher puts on his hat and hurries out to the road.  He hails the stranger on the mule.  They exchange pleasantries.  Finally the preacher ask:
"How come your wife's not riding?"
The man looks back at his wife, studied her for a moment, then replies:
"Why,she ain't got no mule."

Knott Art
Spliters! (4.00 / 3) (#21)
by Rand Race on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 11:34:29 AM EST

I remember when a buddy of mine and I worked at Yosemite one year, there were these two West Virginians who were inordinately proud of their "southern" heritage in our bunkhouse. Proud to the point of wearing battle flag tee shirts and shit. We, being Tennesseean hill folk, always called them "spliters" or "borderers" and they'd get really pissed off. It was quite funny. They were more prickly about it than any Kentuckian, Marylander or Delawarite (I've actually met very few people from Delaware who are even aware they live below the Mason-Dixon line) I've ever met.

"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because if there be one, He must approve the homage of Reason rather than that of blindfolded Fear." - Thomas Jefferson
Lies and slander (5.00 / 3) (#32)
by Jack McCoy on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 02:38:55 PM EST

Delawarite

It's Delawarean.

(I've actually met very few people from Delaware who are even aware they live below the Mason-Dixon line)

Delaware is not part of the south. And furthermore it is not south of the Mason-Dixon line. The Mason-Dixon survey started in 1763, when Delaware was still the lower three counties of Pennsylvania, and the purpose of the survey was to mark the boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. If you want to be technical, Delaware is east of the Mason-Dixon line, but that doesn't play so well with the idea of the line being a north-south split. You can find more info and a map.

At any rate, Delaware was a Union state. And by the way, we won.
-- Jack
[ Parent ]

A Bit Defensive Are We? (5.00 / 1) (#35)
by Rand Race on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 04:15:41 PM EST

It's Delawarean.

I know. I just love how much it pisses Delawarers off though. My time at UD honed my insults toward Delaware to a fine edge. Nothing personal, I can insult Tennessee pretty well too... like that's hard.

And read your own link. Since 1820 the Mason-Dixon line has been considered to be the border between free and slave states. Delaware, being a slave state (albeit barely by 1861), was south of the line. Being on the line, it was a border state.

But yes, DE stayed in the Union and the Union won. As did WV. Now if you go running around talking about how you are a real southerner and wearing a moronic Confederate flag on your chest I'll berate you as well for being an idiot. I mean, it's pretty stupid when some dork from Alabama does that crap, much more so if it's a borderer and it becomes ludicrous when a West Virginian does it.

"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because if there be one, He must approve the homage of Reason rather than that of blindfolded Fear." - Thomas Jefferson
[ Parent ]

More on borderers:) (none / 0) (#63)
by wumpus on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 04:13:09 PM EST

Actually Maryland used to be quite southern. It took US occupational forces, known as the "pug uglies" to occupy Baltimore and round up the state representatives (thus preventing a vote on secession). I think it was WWII that brought in manufacturing (union) jobs in Baltimore and government jobs in DC that "yankeefied" the state.

Cross the Mason-Dixon line (going North) and you will find "Pennsitucky" the land of race-car driving and country music. Also expect to see the confederate battle flag, something you won't see in Maryland (West of the Chesapeake anyway).

Wumpus

[ Parent ]

Pennsituckey (none / 0) (#78)
by Devil Ducky on Wed Jun 25, 2003 at 11:04:15 AM EST

Actually this state is more redneck southern then most southern states. Guess what state has the largest population of Klan members "north" of the Mason-Dixon. The land of pickup trucks, tractors on the highways, and confederate flags flying in the wind.

It probably has to do with the fact that most of the state (It's not a state, it's a commonwealth! Stupid people need to quit saying that to me!) is backwoods, undeveloped, underfunded schools, with long generations of people who don't travel even as far as Ohio. Of course, there are parts of the state that completly break this generalization; the eastern side, around Pittsburgh, a few other metropolitan areas; but for the most part it isn't pretty. Well it is pretty, but you know what I mean.

PA wasn't a border state, it's by definition north of the Mason-Dixon line, slaves were abolished before 1861 (don't make me look up when exactly, use google) and it never got close to seceding. So I think using those antiquated systems for discovering the breeding grounds of the Great American Red-Neck doesn't work anymore. :)
Devil Ducky

Immune to the Forces of Duct Tape
Day trading at it's Funnest
[ Parent ]
ahhh pennsitucky (none / 0) (#79)
by mrondello on Wed Jun 25, 2003 at 03:22:36 PM EST

I lived in central PA for a couple of years and I swear the people there are inbred. Every person that I met that was native had deep psychological problems. It was like there was something fundamentally wrong with their brains. Turns out most of the town of <=50K can trace lineages back 3-4 generations. There has to have been some serious co-mingling going on.

[ Parent ]
you forgot to mention (3.00 / 1) (#27)
by circletimessquare on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 12:34:01 PM EST

john brown and harper's ferry

most identify this event, in 1859, his raid on harper's ferry (and the subsequent intervention by custer- the same guy at little bighorn) on what was to become west virginia soil, as the beginning of the immediate chain of events that was the spiral down into civil war.

kinda like the september 11th of it's day.

i'm not a numerologist, but john brown's group of hardcore militant abolitionists was 19 men... just like september 11th's group of militant fundamentalists.

the abolitionists were proven right, thankfully.

let's hope the fundamentalists are not... but we're still involved in moving down the spiral they started.

the point is that, like a lot of major events in history, all that is needed is a small group of committed maniacs acting on the seismic fault lines of world opinion to wield great power.

in fact, come to think of it, most every major change in the world has always started with a group of committed maniacs.

i'm thinking of the austrian archduke being killed by serbian nationalists... that started the great war/ world war i... etc...


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

I considered it. (4.50 / 2) (#39)
by ubernostrum on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 04:24:24 PM EST

But while John Brown helped precipitate the war, the conditions which would cause the Virginia-West Virginia split were already fairly well established; the war was, IMO, just the opinion WV needed to get the hell away. So for my purposes, he wouldn't be much more than a footnote.


--
You cooin' with my bird?
[ Parent ]
John Brown's Body (4.00 / 1) (#73)
by ethereal on Mon Jun 23, 2003 at 01:54:50 PM EST

Only tangentially related: an episode of This American Life (possibly the best show on the radio) discussing how a camp song became "John Brown's Body" became "The Battle Hymn of the Republic".

You have to fast-forward to Act Two, about 19 minutes in. RealAudio Link

--

Stand up for your right to not believe: Americans United for Separation of Church and State
[ Parent ]

+1FP (2.33 / 3) (#29)
by Maclir on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 01:26:25 PM EST

Since you managed to take the piss out of just about everyone involved. Even tossing in the standard "southern" phrase "war of northern aggression", just to piss the yankees off.

But I bet my sister's tits are tastier than yourn sister's tits.

My favorite factoid... (4.00 / 1) (#33)
by urdine on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 02:45:19 PM EST

Which state has the highest percentage of toothless residents?

Why, West Virginia, of course!

Actually, (5.00 / 4) (#41)
by ubernostrum on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 04:26:06 PM EST

We tend to be 49th on those kinds of factoids. No matter how bad we may be, Mississippi is usually worse.


--
You cooin' with my bird?
[ Parent ]
Thank God for Mississippi. (5.00 / 1) (#77)
by Canthros on Wed Jun 25, 2003 at 08:54:40 AM EST

They've kept Kentucky's school system from being the worst in the country at least once.

--
It's now obvious you are either A) Gay or B) Female, or possibly both.
RyoCokey
[ Parent ]
In honor of West Virginia (4.85 / 7) (#44)
by epepke on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 05:25:29 PM EST

Considering the recent mining for low-sulphur coal at the top of mountains, I offer this hymn:

Country roads
Take me home
To the place
Where I belong
West Virginia
Pretty flat now
Take me home,
Country roads.


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


When are they going to officially rename it... (4.80 / 5) (#45)
by LairBob on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 05:58:58 PM EST

..."The Senator Robert C. Byrd State of West Virginia"? I was down there a little while ago, and the level of "patronage" he's managed to route down there is staggering. Every official building is named after him, his wife, or a member of the family.

Not to mention (4.00 / 1) (#59)
by ad hoc on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 09:52:59 AM EST

that by the time he leaves office, the entire state will be paved into one, huge highway.


--

[ Parent ]
How about "Byrdland"? [n/t] (5.00 / 4) (#62)
by epepke on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 02:33:08 PM EST


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
Thanks, that was interesting. (4.00 / 1) (#49)
by valeko on Fri Jun 20, 2003 at 10:33:34 PM EST

That was actually interesting. I always wondered how West Virginia seceded, but it always left my mind before I could remember to look it up.

"Hey, what's sanity got going for it anyways?" -- infinitera, on matters of the heart

My great great great grandfather (4.00 / 1) (#56)
by lowlife on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 02:24:33 AM EST

Was governor of Virginia a bit before the Civil War. Could have stopped hanging of John Brown.  Confederate General. Owner of slaves.
http://www.famousamericans.net/henryalexanderwise/

Your mind begins to clear.

The Great Gold Robbery (5.00 / 3) (#60)
by dachshund on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 11:46:35 AM EST

You really have to respect these people when you note that the initial treasury for what would become West Virginia consisted of $27,000 in gold coins stolen from a bank in Weston (with a little help from Union troops.)

In the WVians defense, the Confederacy probably would have stolen it themselves if they'd had the chance.

WV (1.80 / 5) (#65)
by chunkwhite84 on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 05:43:33 PM EST

West Virginia is a disgusting place when you consider the current indiginous people. They are poorly educated, sex with animals (within certain animal weight restrictions) is permitted, and imbreeding is common. They are truely a disgusting and foul people.

I never thought I'd do this but... (4.00 / 1) (#70)
by drpenguin5 on Sun Jun 22, 2003 at 11:43:59 PM EST

I never imagined I'd ever do something so against my mindset, but I feel I need to actually, kind of, in a way defend West Virginia. I've lived in West Virginia for over a decade and while I hate this place so much and wish I was somewhere else...anywhere else...practically everything said above just isn't true anymore. I've yet to meet anybody who has sex with animals or imbreeds. Some people are poorly educated, but no different than anywhere else. There are nice people and there are disgusting and foul people, but again, that's not much different than most other states. That said, West Virginia is a horrible place to live and I can't wait until I'm gone.

[ Parent ]
it's iNbreeds, dammit (none / 0) (#72)
by tricknology2002 on Mon Jun 23, 2003 at 03:57:26 AM EST



[ Parent ]
would they tell a "furriner" about... (2.00 / 1) (#75)
by alizard on Tue Jun 24, 2003 at 03:00:13 AM EST

inbreeding and bestiality?

Wait a few years until you're accepted yourself as one of the locals and maybe you'll get invited to a family reunion and see for yourself whether or not WV residents really consider family gatherings a good place to get laid.

Imagine yourself as "one of the locals".
"The horse is dead. Fuck it or walk away, but stop beating it." Juan Rico
[ Parent ]

Where are you? (nt) (none / 0) (#82)
by ubernostrum on Wed Jun 25, 2003 at 11:47:15 PM EST




--
You cooin' with my bird?
[ Parent ]
Virginia was way too big anyway. (none / 0) (#66)
by /dev/trash on Sat Jun 21, 2003 at 09:50:02 PM EST

And the culture was obviously different.  But just think if WV hadn't left, Puerto Rico would be a state now.

---
Summer Tour!
Where to place it? (4.00 / 2) (#71)
by Grimmtooth on Sun Jun 22, 2003 at 11:52:43 PM EST

Wasn't all that funny, so it isn't comedy. Wasn't all that accurate, so it isn't really informative. What to do with such a piece? For the record: the motto of WVa is "Mountaineers are always free." Personal observation: The West Virginia Blue Book, on which the Golden Horseshoe exam is largely based, is unfortunately a Disney version of history at its best, and a lie at its worst. Feel good that you accomplished the award, it's a devilish exam, not for candy asses, but feel free to explore outside that limited scope in the future. Anyway, another view... The so-called Constitutional Convention in Wheeling had about as much relevance to 90% of the state as a Constitutional Convention for the USA would have if held in Canada. Wheeling is more a part of Ohio or Pennsylvania than Virginia or WVa. Historical documents of the times reflects this. There was much resentment and outcry at this effort to wrest the 55 counties away from thier rightful state. However, politics is politics. It was deemed politically useful to have the largest and most prestegious state in the Confederacy split asunder. This had massive backing from the northern states, many which were actually represented in the so-called Constitutional Convention, and likely more prominently than the natives, especially natives that didn't approve of the whole concept. Practically every border county held referendums AGAINST such a measure. Greenbrier, Pocohantas, Mercer, Summers, Wyoming, and Monroe counties all voted against secession and, if the promotors of the secession had been truly righteous, should have been allowed to go thier ways. But of course that wasn't politically convenient. The county clerk of Greenbrier county was nicknamed "Old Scratch" because at times it seemed that his primary job was disenfranchising people that didn't agree with prevailing wisdom (scratching thier names off the registry). Once the Union was entrenched, that meant anyone loyal to Virginia. Of course, Convention or no Convention, this didn't change the way people felt. In several battles held across the southern part of WVa, it was difficult to tell how many native sons died on which side of the conflict. So, no, it wasn't ever that cut and dried. There was graft and corruption back then, too, and believe me it played a huge role in the whole sorry affair. Still, I always think fondly of my old home and wish there was a tech sector there so I could actually *live* there again. Like that's ever gonna happen. Guess I'd rather have it the way it is than the way it is here, though.
// Worst. Comment. Ever.
Correction: (none / 0) (#81)
by ubernostrum on Wed Jun 25, 2003 at 11:43:56 PM EST

The motto of West Virginia is "Montani Semper Liberi." If you're going to be pedantic, be pedantic.


--
You cooin' with my bird?
[ Parent ]
So Basically (none / 0) (#74)
by n8f8 on Mon Jun 23, 2003 at 06:03:30 PM EST

West Virginia is the place for me. Farm livin' is the life I need. Land spreadin' out so far and wide. Keep Manhattan, just give me that WV countryside.

Uhhh, yea.

Sig: (This will get posted after your comments)

eh... (1.00 / 2) (#76)
by My Dupe Account on Tue Jun 24, 2003 at 07:26:19 AM EST

Wake me up when we get to Wet Vagina Day.

--

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes."
Damn you! (none / 0) (#80)
by noquarter on Wed Jun 25, 2003 at 03:35:08 PM EST

Now my natural love of history is kicking in, and I'm going to spend all day reading up on the history of Virgina, West Virginia, The Mason-Dixon line etc... At least I'm getting paid for doing it.

Shouldn't this be known (none / 0) (#83)
by Mister Sparkle on Thu Jun 26, 2003 at 01:56:21 AM EST

as Shit-Kickers Day?

It's not just WV this happens in. (none / 0) (#84)
by DavidTC on Tue Jul 01, 2003 at 05:22:20 PM EST

There's a county right next door, here in Georgia, called 'Union County', because they claimed to seceed from Georgia when Georgia seceeded from the Union. (Legally, though, they never got anywhere with that.)

And it was exactly the same thing. The big plantation farmers in south Georgia wanted out of the US...and the people in Appalachia sighed, they didn't have any fucking slaves, they didn't want any fucking slaves, and they thought this war was a bad idea all the way around. You can't run a cotton plantation on a 20 degree slope.

(Does anyone find it faintly odd that the dictionary seems unaware that the Appalachian Mountains extend into Georgia? I just looked up the spelling of 'Appalachia' and they said it extends from Pennsylvania to North Carolina. I wonder what those bigass mounds of dirt with trees growing on them are.)

-David T. C.
Yes, my email address is real.

Today is West Virginia Day. | 84 comments (54 topical, 30 editorial, 0 hidden)
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