I am a parent. My daughter has grown and is now working on creating a life for herself.
The one thing I have seen missing in most comments is that there is a bond of love and affection between a parent and a child that if properly used can be much more effective than punishments and restraints.
When she was young my daughter wanted direction. She probably understood at some basic level that she needed help to get food and keep clean and stay healthy. She also understood that I cared about her. That last understanding probably is what helped the most in my parenting and in her growing up.
There were frustrations and times when I wanted her to do things that I felt would be wise for her to do. We had a few pitched battles about her attending highschool in her senior year. There were times when she did not want to go and I wanted her to at least finish high school since she had already come so close.
The compromise was she graduated, barely.
An interesting side note. I was forced to attend graduation ceremonies in high school. I did not want to attend. My father forced me to attend. I never forgave him for doing that. I did not force my daughter to attend her graduation ceremonies and she chose not to attend.
You would be amazed at how hard it was for her to get her diploma because she chose not to bow to big brothers ceremonies. It took her well over two years after her graduation for her to receive a physical diploma. First they said she owed money for something she never participated in. Then they lost the diploma. Finally, years later, they gave her a diploma that they had to have reprinted due to them not being able to locate the original.
Public education seems to be very unkind to those who challange the ceremonies even when those ceremonies have nothing to do with the actual education achieved.
I tended to let my daughter do what she wanted unless a clear physical danger was likely. I also taught my daughter that being different is a harder road to travel but that it is a road that has its rewards beyond anything the crowd has to offer.
I probably cheated a bit as I am an antisocial person who has never drank alcohol, used tobacco, or taken illegal drugs. I tried to teach her that peer pressure is much more dangerous to her freedom than any other force. She learned from me that peers could be ignored if their wishes did not align with hers.
I do not know if my daughter uses illegal drugs. I know she is a rather outspoken non-smoker and that she drinks alcohol very rarely. She has a husband that cares about her and who is becoming a friend of mine.
I think I did OK, given my personality and the personality of my daughter.
I can not imagine what a parent that did not love their child would do. I would think lack of love would be the root of most child abuse cases. Please do not think for one moment that I am confusing the difference between a parent saying they are doing something because they love their child and a parent who truely loves and cares about their child judging from that parents actions.
Many humans prevaricate a lot. If someone prevaricates then they can easily say they love someone or that they are doing something for reasons that are in no way true.
If you judge a person by their actions then that persons prevarications will be fairly obvious.