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My Mothers Story...Her Life With Pain

By moondancer in Culture
Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 12:00:00 PM EST
Tags: Culture (all tags)

Most of us have stories of our parents or other family members.  I decided to write my mothers story of her haunting pain for a number of reasons.  I guess the main reason for me, is to complete my journey with her as part of the grieving process. Yes, death of a loved one surely brings many thoughts and feelings into our being. It is now time to "let go".

My mom passed away almost three years ago.  She suffered with her pain for about twenty years previous to this.  And suffer, she did.

The past few days found me going through my mothers' belongings in order to get everything ready to distribute to the rest of the family.  Between some old army payroll and ration books, I found a journal she had kept.  In it she had described her life from her beginning to near the end of her life.  I will incorporate this journal so a better understanding of her thoughts may be known.

She was born in northeastern England in 1923, the eldest of four children.  

At age 14, she left school for a number of menial jobs including making cartridges for shotguns, which she loved to do.  She flattened her little finger in one of the machines, so that ended that job!

At one time, she was run over by a motorcycle.  She was taken to hospital and had head trauma.  Her head had swollen up like a balloon, and she said she could push her finger in her head about "two inches, as it was mushy!" Quite descriptive was this lady!  She recovered from this accident with no known adverse effects.

With the outbreak of WW2, mom ran away and joined the British Army.  Her father was in the British Navy by this time.  Her brother and sisters were taken to the inner parts of northern England, away from the coastal waters.  They all were sent to different families.  At this time, many families were split up, with children going every direction and even overseas for safekeeping.

During her Army days, she had been walking on the docks when out of nowhere, a German plane dove down and started to machine gun at her and her friend.  They escaped with only their knees skinned when they fell down to the ground!

The bombings and air raids took their toll.  Many families, including mom, lost their homes and loved ones.  

The only good thing about the war she told me, was that she met my dad.  She became a war bride and sailed to Canada on the Queen Mary in 1946.  She always missed her "home".  Dad passed away in 1969.  

Following the death of dad, mom adapted quite well at being on her own.  She worked hard but still missed her home and family in England.  I had asked her once, why she didn't just move back, and she replied that her home was now here.

And time moved on.  In 1988, mom started complaining of chest pains and pains in her head.  I took her to many doctors who could find no reason for these pains.

The Beginning of Hell (in her own words)

Feb 1988

"In all this pain and suffering I realize how much I am alone.  We must suffer in silence, for no one can understand the full extent of what is happening.  When it goes on for such a long time, people get used to hearing it and try to give advice, but when doctors don't know what is wrong or how to relieve the pain, how can anyone understand, except the sufferer?  I am alone, alone, alone!  I try to keep my tears and pain to myself, but it is hard and sometimes it spills over, then the ones nearest to me knows for that time, but what can they do?  The pain goes on, when will it stop? When I die? Then I will sleep in peace.  I want to go out and enjoy the fresh air, walk, shop, see people, but I am in my prison of misery, alone."

Aug 1988

"My sense of smell and taste are now gone. I am supposed to be in fairly good health.  After a stay in the psych ward and therapy, also having so many tests, the Doctors can't find anything wrong.  I go out now and then but always with someone.  Never alone, except to the store and yet - the pain in the back of my neck, shoulders and back have come back. My dizzy spells returned and now so have my fears.  I cry a lot when no one is around.  I suffer the pain alone.  It must be in my head.  I am imagining it??  The pain comes and goes in my left temple and now also the right, I am so scared of what is happening to me.  Why can't I enjoy life like I used to, where and when will it all end?  The pain is terrible. How can I stand too much more of it??!!   My hands and feet are so cold, no circulation I guess, and also not much oxygen in my blood.  I still can't taste anything."

March 1989

"Close to a year has gone by now since I started this journal.  I am still in pain, but maybe not as much as I used to be.  Still my left side, temple, face and jaw, and also neck into the left shoulder pains.  I am still getting dizzy spells too.  Quick flashes across my head from left to right, then a dizzy sensation which lasts for hours.  My taste is still gone, it's awful not being able to taste.  What is the point of eating?? I find myself eating more than usual.  All this will probably go on forever so guess I haven't much to look forward to.  I am always feeling tired and dragged out."

May 1989

"Well, another round of xrays and tests, showing nothing! No let up of the pain though.  The pain is terrific sometimes.  I feel so helpless. Got some new false upper teeth, maybe these will help, but I don't really know.   I feel so weak and fed up.  How long does this go on?  Am I crazy or what? Life just doesn't seem worth living, but I've got to go on.  I can't leave my daughter and grand children yet.

April 1990

"Well, another year has passed.  I haven't even felt like writing in my journal.   I am so fed up with life. More tests and all turned out normal, again! That's good I guess, but what is wrong with me?  Had my cancer check up and it was fine.  My nerves are so frazzled, I think I am going crazy, but must hang on. I still have the pain in my neck and the dizziness.  I sometimes wear a collar for the back of my neck and it helps a bit, but not all the time.  The heat makes me feel so nervous and weak.  I am so depressed and just want to lie down and everyone just leave me alone, so I can cry, cry, cry!

June 1990

"Well, Rosemarie has gone to live out of town.  She had to move for a nursing job.  Now I feel so  alone.  I have lost my caregiver and my darling daughter.  What will I do now?  Now the Doctor says I may be having migraines and wrote another prescription! So many pills, yet none seem to be doing me any good. The pain in my neck and shoulders is always there.

December 1990

"Nearly Christmas, don't know what I will do, but if I am like this, I will want to hide from everyone. One good thing, my daughter Rosemarie has moved home again!  At least I will have my caregiver back with me.  She knows how to look after me!  My back was so bad last week that I couldn't straighten up at all.  My neck and face were hurting also.  It's ongoing. A pain down my legs now.  I am sure the nerves in my face and leg are gone.  Also could be blocked arteries and blood clot? I am getting physiotherapy on my back and left neck but it doesn't help.

January 1991

" Well, Christmas came and went.  Was nice to see the grandkids again, they are what makes it special.  I wish I could enjoy the visits though.  Went for another bone scan yesterday.  I am worried.  They had to do the left and right side of my face, and also the back of my neck.  Was so painful and left temple was killing me.  I sure hurt today.  I feel dizzy and light headed.  I wish I knew what was wrong.  I feel so miserable all the time with all the pain, my hands and feet always cold.  What the hell is it?? I am fed up!!"

February 1991

Stopped the physiotherapy on my neck for awhile.  My cholesterol is high and also my blood pressure.  I'm not surprised.  The doctor says my pulse is very weak in my left groin area and also my left and right ankles, so I know now that I really have blocked arteries (maybe blood clot somewhere).  Had more xrays taken, nothing showed, just some minor arthritis.  Wish I had someone to sit and talk to who could help me, take me out of myself, be my good friend.  Wish I lived in England near my family, so I would have some support, at least a little.  I'll be alone when I die, I'm always alone!  I cant expect Rosemarie to always be here to do everything for me, she needs a life!

June 1991

My left eye went half blind yesterday, with flashing lights around, this is the third of fourth time this has happened now. I also have a stabbing pain in my left temple again and headache over the top of my head and to my right temple.  Awful pain, I feel so miserable!  I definitely can't go on with my life like this!  All these years wasted, when I always thought these would be good years when I was retired.  I could travel, some hope! At least Rosemarie is here now, but she also has her own life. We seem to be dealing with our lives alone, as best we can.

August 1991

I am still getting weak spells and dizziness, a shooshing in my ears all the time, sudden pains that come and go in my temple and head.  I feel so miserable and depressed.  I'm absolutely at a dead end now and don't know what to do next.  This can't go on much longer.  I am fed up, fed up, fed up!

January 1992

"I am still in my prison.  Cannot go out at all now.  My daughter does my shopping for me.  She insists I go sometimes, she doesn't understand. I cannot do anything, please quit trying to make me."

Nov 1992

"Well I can't live much longer. I may as well take all my pills and be done with it. But I can't do that either as my daughter took them all away from me. I cant do anything right. Just live in pain. Deep pain.  I guess I will be in my prison until I die now!"

Final Thoughts

Mom's journal went on and on.  It was very sad to read.  All we could do for her was to accept her for the beautiful person she was and support her the best we could.  

  In speaking to doctors, there was nothing much medically wrong with her.  She had been under psychiatric care also and diagnosed with depression and anxiety attacks.

As I have had time to think about her pain and suffering, I personally feel it all had to do with her past.  She was born into a poor family in which survival was hard at times.  Also her time spent in the Army in war torn England, seeing her loved ones die in the bombings all took its toll.  Leaving her family and moving to an unknown country to start life anew with her small children and husband was also hard for her.

My dad had health problems also for which she was his caregiver for many years.  When he passed away at age 52, I believe part of mom died also.

Life was not kind to my mom, but through out all her hardship, she displayed a powerful love for her family and fellow man.  She would never turn anyone away if they needed support.  She was always there for anyone.  I know she was my "rock" during many bad times in my life.  She was the only "constant" in my life and I truly miss her.

It's hard to sit and watch a loved one endure this hurt and there is nothing you can do to help them.  When mom passed away, it was under her terms, quietly, without pain. She had collapsed at home, 12 days before her 80th birthday. I got an ambulance and she went to the hospital where she lasted about 20 minutes.  The last thing she said was, "Rosie, I knew you would be here. My pain has finally gone. Thank you."

Those words will remain with me as long as I live.


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Display: Sort:
My Mothers Story...Her Life With Pain | 96 comments (47 topical, 49 editorial, 0 hidden)
Don't kid yourself, she loved it! (1.05 / 17) (#14)
by Sesquipundalian on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:03:40 AM EST

Did you know that gullible is not actually an english word?
dear author (2.38 / 18) (#15)
by circletimessquare on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:54:52 AM EST

you will encounter the comments of emotionally autistic cretins under your story

please ignore them, your story is much appreciated, and thank you for sharing

unfortunately in this life, those in perfect health take it completely for granted

good health is only appreciated by those who don't have it

like much of human psychlogy, if you have it, you don't care about it, and when you lose it, it's all you can think about

+1 fp

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

IAWTP (2.00 / 3) (#24)
by Smiley K on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 09:46:13 AM EST

In the name of all decency help me 0 the trolls into oblivion. They can go FNH on another story for once.
-- Someone set up us the bomb.
[ Parent ]
If you ever experience pain and whine about it (1.09 / 11) (#23)
by AlwaysAnonyminated on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 09:40:08 AM EST

that means you should have gone ought and gotten some codeine/morphine/hydrocodone/oxycodone/hydromorphone/oxymorphone/diacetylmorphin e/fentanyl/carfentanyl and then gotten the fuck over it.
Posted from my Droid 2.
What a typical pre-pubescent loser (1.33 / 6) (#25)
by babarum on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 09:54:26 AM EST

You're full of yourself and no one thinks your pathetic comment is even remotely funny.

[ Parent ]
Oh nose sir yuo must bee mistaken, (2.66 / 6) (#27)
by nvb on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 10:51:44 AM EST

teh comment was aewsome!

I'm smarter than the average bear.
[ Parent ]

You guys really are vicious... (none / 0) (#32)
by Anonymous #n on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:09:19 PM EST

aren't you?

[ Parent ]
What gave it away? (none / 1) (#58)
by destroy all monsters on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 06:50:05 PM EST

How long have you been here now?

"My opinion: You're gay, a troll, a gay troll, or in serious need of antidepressants." - horny smurf to Lemon Juice
[ Parent ]
To that I say... (none / 1) (#26)
by Hung Fu on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 10:40:33 AM EST



From Israel To Lebanon
[ Parent ]

he said that (none / 1) (#50)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 03:25:41 PM EST

[ Parent ]
OK (none / 1) (#44)
by SoupIsGoodFood on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 01:44:18 PM EST

Can you send me a few packs of oxycodone? I have a rare disease which can sometimes flare up and give me painful stomach cramps. KTHX

[ Parent ]
opioids fuck with your stomach though (none / 0) (#49)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 03:22:44 PM EST

[ Parent ]
it's not so bad, really.... (none / 0) (#55)
by Blarney on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 06:01:22 PM EST

I had bizarre symptoms for a year which, to be honest, were probably a stomach ulcer and treatable. But whenever I'd get them I'd take a codeine - ah, what blissful painfulness. Of course, it probably did more damage in the long run. Especially as if you take those you won't be taking a dump for like a week afterwards.

[ Parent ]
Interestingly enough, (none / 0) (#73)
by Hung Fu on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 12:07:07 PM EST

opioids alone are only partially effective treatment for neuropathic pain. A polypharmacological therapy that includes tricyclic antidepressants, local analgesics and anti-convulsants is better, apparently.

From Israel To Lebanon
[ Parent ]
drug therapy (none / 0) (#74)
by dakini on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 01:58:46 PM EST

i have researched drugs for this kind of pain, and yes, you are right.

" May your vision be clear, your heart strong, and may you always follow your dreams."
[ Parent ]
how about teh ketmamine? (none / 0) (#91)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 03:13:48 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I'm sorry... (1.25 / 8) (#29)
by gr3y on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 11:43:09 AM EST

I just don't believe you.

I am a disruptive technology.

Oooh..you're a *big* meanine! (none / 1) (#30)
by Anonymous #n on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:04:55 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Ok, which one of you placed the editing whammy (none / 0) (#31)
by Anonymous #n on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:07:25 PM EST

on me?! It's you, isn't it wowboy?

[ Parent ]
i really dont care (none / 0) (#35)
by moondancer on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:23:21 PM EST

if you believe me or not..i dont have to justify this to you..my mother and i knew the truth..:o)
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
Indeed? (none / 0) (#62)
by gr3y on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 07:02:32 PM EST

That was a courtesy to you, the author, to inform you why I wasn't voting up your otherwise harmless submission.

I am a disruptive technology.
[ Parent ]

You should have kept this should private. (2.00 / 6) (#43)
by nietsch on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 01:36:07 PM EST

There is nothing remarkable, just your mom that had some illness in her head. Yes, she was sick and thus far there is no drugs for it. About a century ago it was called 'hysteria' and has had different names and symptomes before and since. Some women get over it, some die in their misery. That is a tragedy for sure, as it does not matter whetter the cause is somatic or psychological. But this story does not point that tragedy out, it just centers solely on your dear mommy. And as you might know, your dear mommy was not my dear mommy. So a -1 from me.

mothers story (none / 1) (#45)
by dakini on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 02:49:02 PM EST

i believe the writer stated it was HER mothers story, not meant to dwell on a particular tragedy but to show one persons pain.

" May your vision be clear, your heart strong, and may you always follow your dreams."
[ Parent ]
And that is why I do not wish to see it on the fp (none / 0) (#69)
by nietsch on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 09:08:03 AM EST


[ Parent ]
I'm puzzled (2.50 / 4) (#56)
by livus on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 06:12:05 PM EST

I don't see why she went to a psychiatrist but not to any psychologists or psychotherapists.

Presumably you were all at least suspicious that her "pain" was psychosomatic and that she was some kind of hypochondriac.

Was there really no serious attempt to look into this and cure her?

HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

puzzled... (none / 1) (#57)
by moondancer on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 06:36:14 PM EST

wasnt the word. Mom saw all kinds of doctors, psychologists and psychotherapists alike. All they did was give her more prescriptions for the symptoms, NOT delving into the real diagnosis as far as i was concerned. I believe she did have something wrong, somewhere, but even internists couldnt find anything. She had diagnosis of multiple myeloma, menieres disease and heart and lung failure. Again, these were because of symptoms, not accurate testing. When she passed away, the doctor stated she "should have had a pacemaker long ago", but this doctor was one in the emergency room who had never seen her before. Also, my father died at 52, after having circulation problems and an amputation of a leg, and i think she figured thats how she should "go".
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
Was this the American healthcare system? (none / 1) (#60)
by livus on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 06:54:01 PM EST

It sounds like as an old woman she developed a few common health problems of the elderly - poor circulation, etc - which may or may not not have been properly treated due to all the hypochondria muddying the water.

Her references to having her pills taken off her and made to go shopping indicate to me that the family knew perfectly well that her "pain" was a mental health problem.

HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

not american health system (3.00 / 3) (#63)
by moondancer on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 07:11:33 PM EST

was canadian health system. And yes, her hypocondria did muddy the waters somewhat. I had many arguments with her doctors about her medical care to no avail. She was also in touch with the Mayo Clinic and received a lot of information from them. Anything mom read, she knew she "had". She did suffer from poor circulation, that is a known fact. Each pain or discomfort she had, was magnified by her. To keep her going and off the couch and not give up on life, I did have her responsible for little things. If she wasnt, she would not have lasted the twenty years following the start of it all.
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
Not necessarily hypochondria (3.00 / 4) (#72)
by Hung Fu on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 11:36:49 AM EST

There is a common condition called "neuropathic pain" in which sensory nerves report pain even though there is no stimuli. It's a real, albeit mysterious, medical condition that's treatable with a variety of drugs. Sounds like her doctors didn't make a real effort to treat her problem. Sucks for you mum.

From Israel To Lebanon
motorcycle (none / 0) (#94)
by eudas on Tue Jan 24, 2006 at 05:57:08 PM EST

i wonder if it was potentially caused by the incident with the motorcycle accident when she was younger.

"We're placing this wood in your ass for the good of the world" -- mrgoat
[ Parent ]

as i stated above.. (none / 0) (#97)
by moondancer on Wed Jan 25, 2006 at 10:57:11 PM EST

it may have been a part of the problem. After she passed away, i spoke with her doctor who thought she may have had post traumatic stress syndrome from her part in the war, the motorcycle accident and other events in her life.
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
Husi is around the corner$ (1.00 / 10) (#76)
by V on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 03:14:31 PM EST

What my fans are saying:
"That, and the fact that V is a total, utter scumbag." VZAMaZ.
"well look up little troll" cts.
"I think you're a worthless little cuntmonkey but you made me lol, so I sigged you." re
"goodness gracious you're an idiot" mariahkillschickens
Varieties of Pain (3.00 / 8) (#77)
by slashcart on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 05:33:41 PM EST

There are several different kinds of pain, caused by different kinds of damage to tissue and nerves. I'll list a few kinds of pain here:

The first is nociceptive pain which is caused by nerves called nociceptors that detect damage in tissue. This kind of pain is usually temporary and responds well to pain medications like morphine or ibuprofen.

Another kind of pain is called neuropathic which is caused by damage to nerves themselves. The nerve trauma is often caused by entrapment disorders, diabetic peripheral neuropathy, nerve compression, certain virii (like shingles in the elderly), amputation, or (quite commonly) nerve damage from unknown causes. This pain is usually excrutiating and has an electrical, shooting, or burning quality. This pain will not respond to morphine, ibuprofen, or other painkilling drugs. There are no drugs which treat neuropathic pain effectively, although anti-seizure medications and some other drugs have the side-effect of slightly reducing the intensity of neuropathic pain. If a patient has neuropathic pain for more than 6 months, then that means whatever is causing the pain is not resolving, and the patient will probably be in pain continuously until he dies.

A third kind of pain is central pain which is caused by damage to the pain-processing centers of the brain or spinal column, which causes pain signals to be emitted from those centers in the absence of damaged tissue in the body. In essence, the pain-processing centers become dysfunctional from damage and send out pain signals continuously from that point onward. Usually central pain is experienced as an excrutiating pain over much of the body. Central pain is not treatable with any medication, and it almost never resolves once it has been established. Often the initial cause of central pain is a stroke in the thalmic region of the brain, or a severe injury to the spinal column.

...My point in bringing this up is that the latter two forms of pain (neuropathic and central) are not medically treatable at present, and they both tend to be chronic. Unfortunately those kinds of pain are not well understood. A phsyician cannot diagnose what's wrong with you if you have nerve damage. Damaged nerves and thalmuses won't show up on X-rays or tests. Right now, I could lacerate a major nerve in your body, causing you severe pain, and no physician could tell you what was wrong with you or where the damage was (bear in mind that neuropathic pain is often "felt" in a different area of the body from where the damage occurred). And no pain medication would be helpful to you.

Since physicians can't even detect nerve damage using standard tests, I don't think we should dismiss pain from undiagnosed causes as being hysterical. If a patient complained of pain when no nerve damage or brain damage existed, then a diagnosis of hysteria would be more plausible; but at present severe nerve damage can occur and it would go undetected by modern medicine.

If the diagnosing physician were brutally honest, he'd simply say "we know almost nothing about pain resulting from nerve damage, so I can't help you" but instead he runs some X-rays to make the patient feel more hopeful, and to rule out things like tumor compression of nerves, which are rare but which do show up on X-rays.

At present, painkilling drugs are being developed which will treat neuropathic pain, but they're still some years away...

it is hoped that (none / 0) (#80)
by moondancer on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 07:50:06 PM EST

there will be some type of drug regime in the very near future to deal with this type of pain. It is more common than most people realize.
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
Allow me to speak for all of k5 when I say: (2.00 / 3) (#82)
by creativedissonance on Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 11:30:05 PM EST

We're truly sorry this didn't hit FP.


ay yo i run linux and word on the street
is that this is where i need to be to get my butt stuffed like a turkey - br14n

Yes it REALLY should have (none / 0) (#83)
by babarum on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 12:20:23 AM EST

I was disappointed that it didn't.

[ Parent ]
disappointed (none / 0) (#85)
by moondancer on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 09:41:48 AM EST

please dont be disappointed..it reached many hearts..and that is what my mom would have wanted :o)
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
thanks (none / 0) (#84)
by moondancer on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 09:40:11 AM EST

thank you for your positive comments..i am quite happy that it is being read and appreciated by most here. :o)
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
I can relate (2.50 / 2) (#86)
by rpresser on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 09:44:31 AM EST

My mom died last May, of lung cancer; but the last five years of her life were dominated by leg and foot pain, from RSD. I won't dwell on her story but I wanted to say I could relate.
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty
Were there multiple journals? (none / 0) (#87)
by jarv on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 04:42:02 PM EST

I found a journal she had kept. In it she had described her life from her beginning to near the end of her life.
March 1989
"Close to a year has gone by now since I started this journal.

no, there were (none / 0) (#88)
by moondancer on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 06:54:45 PM EST

no multiple journals. It was all loose leaf in a large binder.
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
i know it's too late (2.50 / 2) (#89)
by wampswillion on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 08:15:07 PM EST

to change this and i know this is trivial next to the weight of your story but shouldn't mothers in the title- have an apostrophe?

yes (none / 0) (#90)
by redrum on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 08:50:05 PM EST

yes it should.

[ Parent ]
Work on your writing (none / 0) (#92)
by mmaddox on Thu Jan 19, 2006 at 08:56:55 AM EST

You obviously have a story you'd like to tell, so learn to write it!

"Out of nowhere" is a terrible cliche. The plane obviously came from SOMEWHERE.

"Dove down" -- Duh. That's how diving works.

"And time moved on." -- another awful cliche.

This is just a start. Examine your work carefully, considering the effect of each phrase on your reader. Use of cliches and extra words trivialises your story, which currently exudes the reek of Freshman English. I think your mother deserves better.

[ Parent ]

thanks!! (none / 0) (#93)
by moondancer on Thu Jan 19, 2006 at 10:27:39 AM EST

Thank you for the advice. It has been noted. :o)
**We are simple and we are free.**United Fools
[ Parent ]
The answer could be in the story... (none / 0) (#95)
by Run4YourLives on Wed Jan 25, 2006 at 06:40:56 PM EST

She was taken to hospital and had head trauma.  Her head had swollen up like a balloon, and she said she could push her finger in her head about "two inches, as it was mushy!" Quite descriptive was this lady!  She recovered from this accident with no known adverse effects.

Are you sure?

It's slightly Japanese, but without all of that fanatical devotion to the workplace. - CheeseburgerBrown

yes.. (none / 0) (#96)
by moondancer on Wed Jan 25, 2006 at 10:55:03 PM EST

there were no known adverse effects from the motorcycle accident per se. After she passed away, I spoke with her doctor and he felt she had post traumatic stress syndrome from her part in the war, this accident and other happenings in her life.
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My Mothers Story...Her Life With Pain | 96 comments (47 topical, 49 editorial, 0 hidden)
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