What is sinsemilla?
"If you have to ask..."
"She is one horny lady that will mess you up"
Building a cabin, a hydraulic ram pump and growing sinsemilla have been my favorite personal achievements. A few years later, growing sinsemilla indoors was all the rage in Western Washington and Northern California. But in 1971, me and two other associates, grew cannabis sativa that people now call Hash Plant and we grew it outdoors. Many people now grow it indoors and that's no big deal. There are plenty of articles on how to do that. But the best stuff is grown outside in the Mother Primeval. You don't believe that? Then go ask the Mexicans. Yeah...and we were the first in North America to grow sinsemilla outdoors.
For those that don't know, don't care or are curious, sinsemilla is Spanish for "without seed". Cannabis sativa grown so that it bears no fruit is the most potent cannabis there is. You know it is the real stuff if you roll an average doobie and can only smoke half of it. If you can smoke a whole joint of this stuff, you got burned and you ain't smoking sinsemilla.
Introduction: How to start
I see Dodger is walking up the logging road. In his grip is a leather bag, holding what I hope are hundreds of little jewels.
"Where'd you get 'em? You didn't try to smoke half of 'em did ya?...Geez, you're fucked up. Is it good stuff gawd dammit?"
The first time you try this you need to start a year in advance. Like all farmers on earth, this means getting good seed. The best seed you can find, steal or beg. The seed needs to be planted the February before planting them in your garden spot. Sinsemilla needs more than six months to grow, preferably nine months. Finally, you must do one other very important thing. KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT.
That's right you heard it, STFU. If you don't listen to me and you grow sinsemilla, then you will end up in jail. There are no looser lips than that of a stoner. It was true then and it is true now. If you have partners (and you will need them), you have to swear on your mother's grave (even if she is still alive) that the only people who know about your farm and it's location are you and your partners. It must remain a mystery to EVERYONE ELSE. This especially includes significant others. Otherwise, the fruits of your labor will be an ass-puckering in a state or federal penitentiary.
If you decide to do this, despite all the risks along the way including getting busted, keep a journal of everything you do no matter how trivial. A year later you won't be able to repeat your steps or make corrections. All good farmers do this, you should too. The journal can be simple; record the date, time, actions taken and observations made. The next year you will be glad you kept records.
Since this first part is the only time in the cycle you have the plants indoors, you need to baby them along. It's OK if they grow slow. They will burst with growing the first safe days in Spring once planted outdoors. For this part you need indoor growing lights, flats with good, rich soil and don't let them get dry. Most people fail here, they get too messed up the next few months and half the crop goes. So germinate and plant about 100 seeds.
Obviously, a garden spot needs to be selected. It needs to be open to the sun and have water close by or plenty of rainfall. The soil must be tillable too. If it is clay or caliche you will either drown or poison your crop. At any rate, get the soil tilled up to around 6-12 inches deep. Give the garden spot a good soaking of water and you are almost ready to start. There is one more critical step to perform first though.
Jack Shit: the magic ingredient
"It makes great garden soil. Take as much as you like. I haven't cleaned that jack pen in twenty fucking years."
Felonious Frank was staring at us like we were nuts.
Frank had four jack mules in his jack pen. Grok and I stared at each other in amazement. "You don't know jack shit." Grok blurted out while we set forth digging for gold. Felonious goes back to sawing timber in his sawmill...
This is your magic ingredient, mule manure. Putting mule/donkey/horse manure in your sweet garden will produce the hottest, horniest mother-blasting sinsemilla you will ever smoke or eat. The key is that it cannot be fresh manure. Aged, ripe and compacted manure is the ultimate. Mexicans don't use mules much, but they do have a lot of donkeys and they know what they are doing.
For most of you, this is going to be hard to find. It's not very common to find completely aged mule manure. Why? Because most people keep equine stalls clean. What you should do is find a ranch that has corrals of horses. We had around a quarter of an acre of rich bottom land soil, so we used about 8 pick-up truck loads brimming with jack shit.
The rest is easy once you have located enough manure. Dump the manure in your garden spot and spread it out evenly and when you are finished, till that into moist but not muddy soil. You should now have a decent garden that will grow your beauties. All that's left is to make sure it gets enough water and to keep various varmints out at various times. The first attacks will be from squirrels, mice and rabbits going after the young plants. Later it will be the deer.
The Long Wait: The Most Critical Part
"OK...every fourth night each of us have to sleep down at the garden, who's gonna go first"
We did a lot of work and planning, so far everything was done right. We took all our young plants (about two feet tall) and planted them one night. We wanted bushy plants and not tall ones, so we planted them about 3 feet apart on all sides. It took us hour but the effort was worth it. We had just over 100 plants and when we were finished it was a beautiful garden. Now the pampering started. The next morning we walked over to the garden spot and then we were shocked.
Approaching the garden we were stunned that every damn one of the plants had been topped off.
"Geezus Christ! Look at our poor babies!", one of us screamed. Upon inspection, we finally determined that there was at least one mildly stoned deer out there somewhere. It had come some time in the night, after we left and "topped" all our plants. Fortunately, that is not a disaster for us. We quickly set to work building a rugged fence around our garden.
The lesson here is; before you plant anything build a fence around it to keep out the deer, goats and other cloven-hoof animals.
Now having done all this there is a long wait the next couple of months. However, going to sleep at this point will produce just normal stuff at best. From this point on you must watch every plant every day. Normally, you would not do this. But what you are needing to do at this point is to watch for male plants. The minute you find one, you pull it up and grind it up and do something appropriate with it. An illustration of a male flower can be found here. Remember, castrate these guys.
"OK, tonight as soon as it gets dark"
We have stoked up the wood stove in the 10X10 foot sauna cabin, in preparation for this night. We have the drying rafters ready.
Eventually, you will come to the night of nights, the evening you have been planning for. This is the night you harvest and dry your plants. For us, it was the end of September. Our plan was this; harvest, dry, strip, grade and package the product.
To do this we had a drying house that most of the year served as a sauna for us. Tonight it was used to quick dry the sinsemilla. As we kept the fire stoked in the stove, we noticed it took a couple of hours for the first group of plants to become crispy dry. We then took each plant and began stripping each one by hand.
For our purposes, the "packaging" consisted of a number of 1 gallon cleaned and sterilized pickle jars and a ceramic bowl. The ceramic bowl was covered with a stretched panty hose.
First with shears, we cut off the flowering buds. Those little, lush, resinous, dripping flowers. We placed them in a jar. Next we stripped off the smallest leaf nodes and placed them in another jar. Then we stripped the rest of the leaf nodes and placed them in yet another jar. We had 3 grades of product.
In the course of manually stripping the plants our fingertips became encrusted with resinous greenish powder; we called it "finger hash". We then rubbed our fingers on the panty hose stretched over the bowl. Then after we each had stripped two plants we had enough for a pipe full. We took a brief break to try our summer harvest for the first time. It was almost a mistake. We got blasted into outer space for about 45 minutes. It was intense to say the least. We decided that this would be our private stash for special occasions. We did not realize how potent sinsemilla can be.
We carry on with this until the early morning hours; stripping and packing dried sinsemilla.
The Next Season
"Gawd damn that plant is a beauty to look at! Are you sure we gotta do this? Let's just smoke it."...
We stand there admiring the mother of all future generations. Like an easy woman on a Saturday night, she was hot, sexy and oozing juices....
This is another very important step. Failure to accomplish this step means that you have to start all over again next year. For some growers that might not be a problem. However, following this step means you will start genetically producing a superior breed of sinsemilla. This is done subjectively though. During the season while you are topping off the plants to make them branch out, separate your cuttings. Obviously you are going to be testing these. So as you do make note of the plant(s) that are the most potent. Keep this in a notebook. In fact, during this complete process you should document everything that you do, especially if you are planning on being a serious producer.
We left one plant standing from which to take cuttings from. There are a number of ways to do this, air layering or cuttings. We tried both ways and the most successful was air layering. Cuttings work as well. What you will need to do is to take cuttings from cuttings until February. Each time you make a cutting, especially if they are air layered cuttings, root them in a small terracotta pot and keep them watered. In February, you can pot them in little flats and start the process all over. No more cuttings need to be made until the end of the next harvest.
I may have left something out but nothing that is key to growing sinsemilla. I have reconstructed it from notes I made during that time. After 1972, I never grew it again or even had the desire to.
I would not recommend growing sinsemilla outside these days. Lots of people get busted growing it. It is not because the narco squad is so vigilant but because growers tell/brag to someone and that person tells someone etc. YOU WILL GET BUSTED. You have been warned.
sinsemilla is Spanish and pronounced seen say ME yah