Kuro5hin.org: technology and culture, from the trenches
create account | help/FAQ | contact | links | search | IRC | site news
[ Everything | Diaries | Technology | Science | Culture | Politics | Media | News | Internet | Op-Ed | Fiction | Meta | MLP ]
We need your support: buy an ad | premium membership

Smoking the Hubble-Bubble

By GhostOfTiber in Culture
Tue Sep 26, 2006 at 12:00:00 PM EST
Tags: Smoking, Drugs, Tobacco, Shisha, Water pipe, Bong (all tags)

The story begins with one of my buddies who survived basic going on to kill interesting people in interesting places. Most of my group managed to go from Texas to Korea to work on flight lines and for more training. Somewhere along the way, someone managed to wander far off the beaten path. He ended up in Morocco and found himself a beautiful woman to marry for a few years and spent most of his time being chased by the MPs. Take one part Indiana Jones, add a heaping spoonful of boring and a pinch of action, and you have military life abroad. The smell of shisha begins there, and it doesn't smell like the Air Force...

Five years ago...

"So what is it?" I asked.

We were at The Fez in Philadelphia. We had just finished what I was told was an authentic Moroccan feast. It was the kind of meal where you get up and poop to make room for more food midway through it or you just do like he did and starve yourself all day. It was authentic enough to get his wife in the door, anyway.

"It's mostly crushed fruit, with some molasses and honey to hold the tobacco on."

What was set in front of me was what looked like something out of Alice in Wonderland. There was a base big enough to keep small goldfish in, above that was a golden stem, and on top a simple clay bowl with some substance in it covered in foil. A coal glowed as we passed around a hose ("never towards them") and took tokes from it. I had briefly smoked a pipe care of my father and had a passing relationship with cigars. I found the pipe was only good with a long stem and the cigars were too bitter for my tastes, but the cool, dense and flavorful smoke coming from this marvel of technology was beyond anything I had dreamed of.

The Fez is built with a celebration tent indoors. The word was lost on me, but the effect is that you're sitting in a tent and not a questionable part of Philadelphia. I leaned back and stared into the lantern and toked deeply on the tube. The flame seemed to slow just for an instant as the tobacco worked its magic with the wine. The wine was her choice: Amazir. I was told it was less for the food and more for the shisha.

"Shisha. Yes. You take crushed fruit, you coat it in honey, you cover it in molasses, and you boil tobacco into it. It is about 2:1 fruit to tobacco."
I took another hit. I entertained the idea that Morocco was something other than the Sin City of Africa and wondered why the fuck he married her. Again the flame made the moment timeless. I wasn't here, I was in the desert. There was a grunt from the camels and the wind played a soft staccato melody as it blew over the blue cool dunes and gently pressed the colorful tent against its poles. I was fucking royalty.
"The wine is good. Nicotine is soluble in alcohol, its hitting me pretty well."
"That's good, the wine goes with the shisha, not the food."

I took a final long pull and passed it along, content.

Two years passed.

I wrote the whole thing off as "stories to tell the grandkids". At some point there might have been grandkids. I was dating an Army Medic where 'dating' in the military seemed to mean 'scheduled fucking'. Seriously dating someone in the military involved actually marrying them. This way they couldn't split you two up. That's what they were doing: Dating. He's got the house, the car, the guns, the TVs and she's thrown out. He didn't talk about it but I drove down anyway to help him throw boxes and bitched he couldn't swing me at least a space-a ticket for the trouble. Not that I really felt like taking my chances for a seat anywhere between first-class and being treated like livestock sitting in the dark for six hours wearing earmuffs, but it was the thought that counts. We had thrown boxes into the U-Haul all day and were sitting on his roof smoking whatever shit cigarettes the BX was selling that week. The view was entirely unremarkable, it was just flat and the only excitement was the passing planes.

A few drags passed.

"You want to smoke something else?"
"You know I'm doing inventory control for the services with SAP, I could get piss-tested. Not that I haven't considered jumping ship but I really don't need to be on some jerkwater base with angry armed men already pissed off our shit never works and have my results come back positive for your party-of-the-moment."
"No, shithead."

He hopped into his bedroom and before the hole could even fill into the trail of smoke he left behind him he was back up carrying a box. He took out a bowl, a stem, and tossed me a can of something I couldn't read in a language not spoken in these parts. Intrigued anyway, I opened the lid and smelled the sweet smell of sugar, honey, and tobacco. He had not one but two hookahs, possibly the best prizes from his failed marriage, and we smoked them long into the night.

I was back in the caravan. It had left me for two years and it would be just as long before it saw me again. The red coals joined the stars glowing unaccountable in the deep purple haze of the milky way.

Some time later.

"Why the fuck are we here?"
"Because it says 'hookah bar' on the door."
"You can read that? It looks like someone set off an M80 on an etch-a-sketch."
"No idiot, I mean the handwritten note behind the plate."


The bar was a hole in the wall of a house someone had decided would serve the neighborhood better as a watering hole on the first floor and flop house on the next. In fact, during the day, you don't even know it's there since you can't see the neon through the windows. When the doors are closed, it looks like any other house in the neighborhood. I had made a habit of moving every few years to try to get the individual flavor of the cultural enclaves and this particular enclave had an unexpected flavor. It tastes like fruit but has the tanginess of tobacco. Mokahs doesn't pride itself on beers on tap. They have a mediocre at best selection of bottled beers and bottled mixed drinks. The bar doesn't even respect itself enough to have an honest bartender; The girl working tonight was simply there to hand you a bottle and take your cash. There was a separate bar where you could get your hookah. A third bar provided food which was a mix of Turkish and Greek cooking. We ordered a two-hose of mixed fruit.

"How bad do you think this stuff is for you? I have to run with the green butter-bar wanna-be's tomorrow."
"Still hollering insults at the ROTC cadets?"
"She's still in the service, I might as well do something productive for her ass."
"It's probably about as healthy as snus."
"Yeah, you can buy them in Granite Run, its a teabag filled with tobacco. You tuck it into your lip. When I was touring Sweden on Uncle Sam's dime, it was all the rage and had the Swedish version of the FDA approval for having no ill effects."
"Yeah, but you're still burning tobacco, right? Surely the nicotine and particulate is worth a few minutes of your life."
"I guess. The smoke is filtered by the water, and the foil keeps the tobacco from really burning. You're mostly sucking on the boiling fruit mash. The tobacco just adds a bit extra. No-one has really produced any studies which are convincing since Americans and Europeans have only really recently started smoking pure tobacco shisha. Even then, it's hard to find people who only smoke a hookah."
"I'm OK with that, the Pussy Farting Cumdumpsters aren't paid to think."

We puffed away into the night, eventually so drunk we were happy we only lived a few hundred feet away.


I decided to buy a hookah.

Buying a hookah wasn't something I did lightly. I was actually going to skip the whole project before one of my Air Force buddies teamed up with an old roommate invited to my wedding to 'put me out of my misery gently and early'. At that point we took his advice and visited the Hookah Kings. They weren't bad, and when they shipped me a broken base, they promptly replaced it. Their customer service is top notch but the product itself isn't that hot. Most if not all hookahs are made in Egypt and the glass and assembly is usually inferior. There are exceptions and most of them are on Hookah Hookah, but the moral is that you shouldn't expect a perfectly formed piece.

From bottom to top, a hookah is made from a base, stem, tubes with mouthpieces, ashtray, and finally crowns in a bowl. The base is the glass bit on the bottom, but I've seen acrylic and ceramic. Other materials are used either to be discreet ("travel hookahs" use plastic) or to keep a better temperature (ceramics will stay cool forever). The base usually comes with a rubber gasket for inserting the stem. If you should break yours, take the gasket to the nearest Target or Walmart or similar. The vase section usually has something close to what you're looking for. Inside the base, water is usually used and should be changed each use of the hookah (and between each flavor of shisha unless you're trying to mix them). Instead of water, I've found that wine also works well for a subtle alcoholic buzz. I have also tried vodka, but the buzz wasn't as great as I expected. Stick to water, wine, or fruit juice. I find orange tang is great too. Make the tang in the base of your hookah and toss the whole thing in the fridge to cool down.

The stem is nothing special, but do understand that longer is better for an adult. Longer means that the stem has more time to cool the smoke, but a longer stem (and hoses) also makes the pulls harder to take off the hookah. Better stems have a ball-bearing airlock in them which automatically closes when someone takes a hit and the other hoses are open. Best stems have dedicated airlocks which also allow you to blow the stale smoke out if you smoke at a slow pace. The only gotcha is that the stem inserts into the base via a gasket and the stem should insert into the bowl on top. The vase accepts the stem, and likewise the bowl accepts the stem. If you buy a stem that does otherwise, you will have problems buying other "standard" hookah parts. The hoses insert into the stem also and have their own gaskets. When not in use, if you have a more economy stem, rubber bungs will go into the hose fittings.

Hoses are entirely personal preference. Pick some that look good to you. Hookah Kings included an extra set of gaskets and bungs. Some people use the 'sanitary' mouthpieces, but I always found the idea silly given that you're smoking. Hookah Kings also included hose-plugs which are little rubber bungs which plug into the end of the hose when someone isn't using it. Instead of taking the hose off or plugging your finger into the hole, just slip it on and drop the hose. The only other thing to know about hoses is that you need to wash the insides out despite what the book says. Failure to do so does not clear the hoses and you will get ash. If the hose says not to wash through it, they mean that the dye is not colorfast and you may end up with dye on your lips if you wash the hose and immediately use it. For a fun treat, wash the hose and fill it a bit with tang. Plug the ends and toss it level in the freezer. More tang! Hoses are considered consumable like the bowls, so buy extra.

Moving up the stem, the ashtray is merely for - you guessed it - dropping ash into when the coals are consumed. Some hookahs do not have ashtrays but if you are at a lounge, be sure to ask for it. It beats dropping hot coal slush into your pants. The ashtray also makes a good staging area for your coal when lighting it. Skip the tongs, they get hot.

On the very top is the bowl. I prefer clay bowls, but some people prefer metal bowls. Clay is broken down into glazed and unglazed. Glazed is slightly more expensive, but doesn't absorb the flavor of the shisha. The unglazed bowls do, however, soak up the moisture and release it when smoking once they are 'broken in'. Pick one you like and buy a few, they eventually crack. The bowl should come with a gasket which mates to yet another gasket on top of your stem. I highly suggest two gaskets, it makes the bowl far more durable if the material is something brittle like clay. Some bowls, you will notice, come with metal screens or wind-guards. The guard is for outdoor use. The screen is if you use lemonwood, the traditional shisha-coal, because it burns cooler.

More on coals, the bowl should be covered in aluminum foil, shiny side in. Punch about 16 or more holes in it. Again, this is a personal preference thing. Some people like more holes, others prefer less just as some also say the foil needs to be shiny side up. Some prefer folding over the foil, others do not. They sell special foil for the hookah, but common supermarket variety also works. The brand of coal is important and I cannot stress this enough. Golden Coals from Holland are the best. They burn quickly so you need a few to smoke a large bowl, but they also do not retain the taste. Three Kings and other brands I have found retain the taste of the lighter fluid much like the grill does. I would rather use more coals instead of ruining the taste of the hookah as the enjoyment and conversation is what smoking this is all about. If you want to improve the smoking further (or are concerned about boiling the shisha instead of burning it), use a metal screen and lemonwood. Start the lemonwood by holding it with the tongs over the burner on a stove and then toss it on the screen. The wood burns cooler and longer and is less harsh to pull ash on. Experiment to find out which you prefer. The third option are the new Japanese brick coals, but I have 1000+ Golden Coals remaining and it will take me awhile to try those out. Finally if you really get into it, there are new electrical heaters hitting the market from Saudi Arabia. I just stick to coals so I can enjoy smoking outside.

As far as poison is concerned, this is where you can choose to vote with your money or just buy what you enjoy most. I personally like Al-Waha shisha as it tends to be moist and is made in Jordan. Other shisha has other properties be it taste, thickness of smoke, amount of tobacco, smoking time or moisture content. There is no scale, but money buys better tobacco. If you want to skip the tobacco entirely, they do make herbal shisha. "Plain" shisha or "mixing" shisha is shisha that is only tobacco and honey. This was the original style before Egypt introduced the fruit flavors. The intent is that you would either smoke it plainly (it is almost flavorless for Five Star brand) or mix in your own fruit. Be sure to mash it up first and keep the ratio of 2 to 1 fruit to shisha. Most shishas are about the same taste minus grape. For whatever reason, grape is either a wine-grape or a sweet-grape across brands, but differs brand to brand. It is acceptable to mix flavors and either cut them with flavorless or wholesale. Layered flavors also work. Put the lighter flavor on top such as apple and a more robust flavor under it such as orange.

Flavor Cheat Sheet (CO Romman Tobacco):
Mint Scream - Mint tobacco plus altoids in icewater
Pink Lemonade - Lemon and Strawberry shisha
Pinetango - Pineapple on top of Mango
Country Peach - Peach shisha on top of Orange shisha with peaches or oranges in the water below
Fruit Fusion - Strawberry on top, Cherry below that, and Mixed Fruit on the bottom
Roseberry - Rose shisha and Raspberry (personal favorite)

Hookah Kings - Great starter packages for 'all in one'. Customer service is great, but the product quality is iffy. The sampler pack deals for 50g of shisha can't be beat.
Hookah Shisha - Customer service is iffy and the site can be confusing, but they have good product. The points system doesn't work.
Hookah Hookah - Carries hard-to-find parts in addition to excellent hookahs and unique shisha. Also one of the few places you can purchase Black Shisha and single serving 'party shots'

"When I was stationed in Turkey..."
"...this ought to be good..."
"...after I got tired of being shot at I was an MP. Turkey is an Islamic shithole where the smoke shops are barely following Islamic law. You were supposed to only be able to purchase herbal tobacco in the coffee shops in the area, but with the American money running around you could have just about anything. What the shopkeep would do is offer you a hookah and you would pick a flavor. If you were in the know at the speakeasy, you would also pick a 'condiment'. Salt was for coke, pepper was for opium, relish was for weed, on it went."
"Sounds like a party."
"Yeah, we had guys come back who couldn't even remember their names. If they were particularly rowdy or pissed off the owner, it wasn't uncommon for guys to be intentionally dropped off at the wrong base. Naked."


Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure


Best Shisha Flavor
o Apple 27%
o Double-Apple 9%
o Grape (sweet) 9%
o Grape (wine) 0%
o Unflavored (traditional) 9%
o Mixed Fruit 0%
o Banana 0%
o Mango 0%
o Pineapple 0%
o Rose 9%
o After Five (chocolate-mint) 0%
o Mint 0%
o Coffee 9%
o No shisha please, just herbal 9%
o WIPO 18%

Votes: 11
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Hookah Kings
o Hookah Hookah
o Golden Coals from Holland
o Hookah Kings [2]
o Hookah Shisha
o Black Shisha
o single serving 'party shots'
o Also by GhostOfTiber

Display: Sort:
Smoking the Hubble-Bubble | 58 comments (46 topical, 12 editorial, 1 hidden)
Very interesting. (2.50 / 2) (#3)
by xC0000005 on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 01:17:54 AM EST

I don't smoke but your description of the experience is a very good read.

Voice of the Hive - Beekeeping and Bees for those who don't
THE HONEY DUDE (none / 1) (#11)
by GhostOfTiber on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 09:15:39 AM EST

Something on The List is to grab some 'plain' shisha or grow my own tobacco plants.  Do you know any local growers of such things?  Have you tried tobacco honey?

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

I do not. (none / 0) (#19)
by xC0000005 on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 01:27:50 PM EST

I've never had a chance to speak with local tobacco growers (my great grandfather grew tobacco, but that's a ways back and a dozen states away). No tobacco honey either but I've heard that cannabis (sp?) contains no chemicals that would affect human beings.

Voice of the Hive - Beekeeping and Bees for those who don't
[ Parent ]
Hookah tales.... (2.33 / 3) (#4)
by mybostinks on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 01:19:19 AM EST

only I didn't smoke tobacco in them.

Didn't you have a hi-rez pic of you smoking one in a male strip joint?

+1 FP

if this makes SP or FP (none / 1) (#17)
by GhostOfTiber on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 12:52:02 PM EST

you'd better spill the beans.  ;)

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

+1 fp (1.50 / 2) (#5)
by circletimessquare on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 03:01:30 AM EST

and don't forget hookah smoke ring dude

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

I have yet to figure out how to do that (none / 1) (#13)
by GhostOfTiber on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 09:21:44 AM EST

and I mean "blow smoke rings" not "make a video of myself pretending my hookah is a penis while wearing womens clothes on the internet".

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

+1FP as you say (none / 1) (#27)
by mirko on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 04:09:09 AM EST

Just because I like the fact you're filming on a low budget. :)
Pity I'm neither in US nor Philipino.
Finally I managed to make the decision that I would work on it. - MDC
we had to huddle together - trane
[ Parent ]
+1, damn you. (2.50 / 2) (#6)
by livus on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 04:17:45 AM EST

I love the shisha, or at least I could, but I knew the first night with it that I could easily get hooked, so I don't indulge.

Now whenever I have to walk past places where they smoke it all night at cafe tables on the footpath ("sidewalk") I just breathe deeply and walk faster.

HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

just try it once (none / 1) (#10)
by GhostOfTiber on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 09:14:03 AM EST

While I disagree with the Swedish health institutes assessment that tobacco by itself is "completely harmless", you're getting a lot less tobacco smoke then you would in a pipe or a cigar/ette.  It should follow that any toxic and addictive effects are proportionally smaller.

Aside of the fact that cleaning it is such a pain in the ass that the buildup/teardown procedure itself is enough of a deterrent to psychological addiction.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

lnkplz? (none / 0) (#44)
by Just this guy on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 07:43:10 PM EST

Swedish health institutes assessment that tobacco by itself is "completely harmless",

I'm intrigued, not calling "bullshit."

[ Parent ]

I've tried it (none / 0) (#45)
by livus on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:18:28 PM EST

I spent a whole evening smoking the damn thing. I remember it was one with a spicy tang to it, like cinnamon mixed with roses. And in my city you can get them in cafes so it isn't like I'd have to buy my own gear.

Auckland has higher levels of air pollution than London. The less random shite that clogs my lungs the better. Besides I have enough vices as it is.

HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]

Some clarifications (none / 0) (#51)
by monkeycid on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:25:07 AM EST

While they may at one point have claimed that snus was free of adverse effects, they sure as hell don't do so now. Snus has been shown (although not conclusively; debate rages) to increase the risk of certain kinds of cancer, and it's proven and proven yet again that it's hell on the teeths and lips (they show schoolkids those nice scary pictures of tobacco users; while the smokers look like shit otherwise, only a snus user has a truly demonic mouth).

You are indeed getting a lot less tobacco smoke when using snus (i.e none), but you're getting a hell of a lot more nicotine, which makes snus far, far more addictive than smoking. OTOH, it's less dangerous for you - so it's a tradeoff.

[ Parent ]

yeah, I was trying to find the article (none / 0) (#52)
by GhostOfTiber on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 09:51:51 AM EST

which said that there was no ill health effects and google can find pages linking to it (mostly from people trying to talk themselves into a false sense of security) but the original seems to have been pulled.  Or I'm not googling in the right language.

Tobacco.org, which is usually a good source of information (both ways) weighs in.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

-1, Misleading (2.66 / 6) (#7)
by daveybaby on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 05:30:19 AM EST

No mention of space telescopes anywhere in this article.

mtv/vtd (1.75 / 4) (#14)
by Zombie Stanislaw Lem on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 11:44:32 AM EST

  • -1 no reference to expanding universes
  • -1 no reference to deep field imaging
  • -1 no reference to NASA's blurry vision
  • -1 no linky to relevant materials
  • -1 doesn't even acknowledge the obvious.
In short, poorly linked MLP, that ignores too many brilliant opportunities for punning,
and plz dont forget where this is heading anyway :(

[note, any moderation or posts made on or after 01/04/2007 were probably made by the jerk/s who stole my account after I left.]

most likely (none / 1) (#16)
by GhostOfTiber on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 12:05:33 PM EST

but then again I'm told sunlight and BBQ do it also.  I'll take my chances.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

WOW..a blast from the past for sure....+fp.. (none / 1) (#15)
by agavero on Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 11:57:11 AM EST

"Our knowledge is a little island in a great ocean of nonknowledge." Isaac Bashevis Singer
My father bought a hookah (2.00 / 2) (#22)
by MichaelCrawford on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 12:17:37 AM EST

When he visited Istanbul aboard the USS Springfield, a ship of the United States Navy.  He brought it back to where we lived in Italy aboard ship.

He tried it just once with pipe tobacco, but the water leaked out.  I guess it was for decorative use only.

For many years after, it was proudly displayed on a bookshelf in our living room.


Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy

that's exactly the caution about the base (none / 1) (#32)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:40:59 AM EST

The glass is, to the best of my knowledge, still hand blown.  It is extremely easy to crack as it has a seam at the top where they laid a bead of glass around to support the gasket for the stem and there is a second seam on the bottom of mine where they beaded it to a flat base.  This isn't going to last forever and is more fragile than modern, cast glass.

Or you overfilled it with water and blew all the water out the top, which is a first timers mistake.  I intentionally left it open in the story, but the rule-of-thumb is to cover the bottom of the stem in about two inches of water.  Less water is an easier pull, but more water cools the smoke better.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

I always enjoy your articles.... (2.50 / 2) (#23)
by mybostinks on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 12:28:46 AM EST

they show the breadth of your knowledge about many things...and they are written well.

I still want to see the geocaching article when you finish it.

We used to do this in college (2.85 / 7) (#24)
by rusty on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 12:30:40 AM EST

The Middle eastern students organization would do shisha nights, with the tents and cushions to lounge on and the whole bit. I personally always found the smoke itself sort of heavy and nauseatingly fruity, but it was worth it for the quality of the social experience. Whoever first went, "Hey, let's hang out in fancy tents on a shitload of pillows with all our buddies and smoke a great big bong together" was really onto something.

Not the real rusty
rusty, dammit (none / 0) (#25)
by jangledjitters on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 12:37:13 AM EST

no hi-rez chicks joined the hookah-tent-pillow parties?

[ Parent ]
There were numerous hi-rez chicks (3.00 / 2) (#40)
by rusty on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 11:44:23 AM EST

As far as I recall, it was mostly hi-rez chicks, actually. I was that guy in college who mostly hung out with girls, but wasn't gay.

It would have been a very romantic atmosphere if it hadn't been taking place in a swamp in tidewater Virginia, right next to the ol' crick where the dorm sewage flowed.

Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

so thats how K5 got started? (none / 0) (#31)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:36:25 AM EST

We knew it was a bad idea, but I didn't realize I was so close to making the same terrible mistake... ;)

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

Well it was clearly the inspiration (2.66 / 9) (#39)
by rusty on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 11:42:23 AM EST

I mean, what is K5 after all, but a pleasant shisha evening, except without the tent, pillows, or hookah, and with a lot of people you can't stand?

I think it's easy enough to see the parallels.

Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

wait, "sickeningly sweet"? (none / 0) (#33)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:45:54 AM EST

This implies to me two things:  You either like to smoke pipes or cigars, or they were making their own shisha.  Care to elaborate?

You would probably be happy with Nakhla brand tobacco.  Unlike the Al Waha, it smokes a little drier and the flavors arn't as pronounced.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

lol (3.00 / 3) (#41)
by rusty on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 11:51:09 AM EST

You "quoted something I actually didn't say." That's always embarassing.

I have no idea where they got their shisha. But to me, it always sort of had the taste of a teeny bit of tobacco cut very heavily with cough syrup. It might have just been cherry, and I'm not a big fan of cherry anything (except Cherry Garcia Ben and Jerry's, for some reason).

This combination probably just falls into the same category as fruit on meat for me. I feel like there are aromatic flavors and sweet flavors, and I don't like them to be mixed. So I pretty much never like meat with a fruit-based sauce or glaze, and this probably qualifies as the same basic violation. I think it would have to be a lot more tobacco and a lot less fruity for me to enjoy.

Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

that's a point (none / 0) (#47)
by livus on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:35:27 PM EST

the one time I trie it was in a hot country where the air itself seemed heavy anyway, so the shisha was refreshing by contrast. I'm not sure it would be the same here in humid, temperate nz.

HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
Where is Michael Crawford in this story? (2.50 / 4) (#26)
by United Fools on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 02:47:36 AM EST

We cannot find him here.

We are united, we are fools, and we are America!
Here is MichaelCrawford's father (none / 0) (#50)
by MichaelCrawford on Sat Sep 30, 2006 at 01:23:40 AM EST

He bought a hookah when he was in the Navy.


Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy

[ Parent ]

WIPO: Drugs (2.75 / 4) (#29)
by AlwaysAnonyminated on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 06:28:09 AM EST

Posted from my Droid 2.
GhostofT-1ber (none / 0) (#30)
by debacle on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:09:08 AM EST

Only because I can, though.

It tastes sweet.
They make ones with valves? (2.85 / 7) (#37)
by LilDebbie on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 11:22:46 AM EST

That would've spared my friends and I as we sucked in vain before we realized that we either had to coordinate our sucking or have the non-suckers shut their holes.

Yeah, it felt good writing that.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

yes (none / 1) (#38)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 11:31:33 AM EST

Sometimes called "Persian stems" or "Syrian stems", it has a ball bearing in the stem which falls over the hole and seals it.

The traditional hookah has no such thing.  Really nice hookahs have an additional airlock with a captive bearing for clearing them which also prevents first timers from coughing with the tube in their mouth and blowing water and shisha and burning coal all over the place.

I can't find the link for the life of me, but someone had an adapter fitting for converting old style to new style.  My guess is that its nothing more then a bearing dropped into the hose fitting and probably harder to pull on than stems fitted with the airlock originally.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

Thanks for the new sig. $=3=$ (3.00 / 5) (#42)
by Mylakovich on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 02:59:00 PM EST

[ Parent ]
that was very sexual nt (none / 1) (#43)
by circletimessquare on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 06:59:11 PM EST

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
I heard hookahs have khrabs /> (3.00 / 2) (#46)
by buck on Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 09:24:30 PM EST

“You, on the other hand, just spew forth your mental phlegmwads all over the place and don't have the goddamned courtesy to throw us a tissue afterwards.” -- kitten
-1 smoking (none / 0) (#48)
by 1419 on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 12:27:57 PM EST

But otherwise a fun read.

Snus all night long... (none / 0) (#49)
by caine on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 02:35:20 PM EST

I'm curious as to when the swedish equivalent to the FDA would ever claim Snus had no ill effects.

But nevermind that, man you got me interested in trying a Hookah some time.


I can't find it anymore (none / 0) (#54)
by GhostOfTiber on Mon Oct 02, 2006 at 01:02:42 PM EST

It WAS linked to off of tobacco.org a long time ago but it seems the SDA (or whatever it's called) has redacted it.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

+1 Smoking (none / 0) (#53)
by grargrargrar on Sun Oct 01, 2006 at 03:55:41 PM EST

But otherwise a retread of what everyone in the Air Force does.

Only the air force? (none / 0) (#55)
by GhostOfTiber on Mon Oct 02, 2006 at 01:03:08 PM EST

c'mon, "The Army is like boyscouts, except without adult supervision".

Who said that quote?

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

Army goes straight for uppers and crack pipes. /nt (none / 1) (#56)
by grargrargrar on Mon Oct 02, 2006 at 03:37:37 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Smoking the Hubble-Bubble | 58 comments (46 topical, 12 editorial, 1 hidden)
Display: Sort:


All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. The Rest 2000 - Present Kuro5hin.org Inc.
See our legalese page for copyright policies. Please also read our Privacy Policy.
Kuro5hin.org is powered by Free Software, including Apache, Perl, and Linux, The Scoop Engine that runs this site is freely available, under the terms of the GPL.
Need some help? Email help@kuro5hin.org.
My heart's the long stairs.

Powered by Scoop create account | help/FAQ | mission | links | search | IRC | YOU choose the stories!