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GOD IS GOOD

By GrubbyBeardedHermit in Culture
Sat Nov 22, 2008 at 11:51:25 AM EST
Tags: religion, fridge magnets, all tags (all tags)

The fridge in the kitchen nearest to me at my place of work has a bunch of those dictionary fridge magnets on it. Over the last few months the face of the fridge has been the subject of a fascinating battle between the forces of good and evil.


Consistent with how these fridge magnets are normally employed, the majority of them were initially randomly scattered or strung together in lame attempts to produce something salacious; SOFT WOMAN PASSION CANDY FLOW seemed to be about par for the course as idle passers-by wasted a little work time rearranging the letters. This was the status quo until one someone decided to use the fridge magnets as an evangelical platform.

There's a non trivial conservative Christian element at the company; they have their own mailing list (the membership of which is hidden from non-members; rather strange that), they gather for prayer meetings in a board room once a week, and so on.

So I was not unduly surprised when, one morning, a large space in the center of the scattered magnets had been cleared out and the message GOD IS GOOD had been prominently and eye-catchingly arranged there.

For about a week there was a kind of disbelieving freeze in the fridge magnet patterns as would-be idlers absorbed the message obviously decided against doing any fridge-magnet-fidgeting. But that was never going to last, and before long the fightback started.

At first random acts of destruction were perpertrated on the pious message: it's contents were simply scattered across the metal surface, the clear patch erased. With commendable dedication, GOD IS GOOD was unfailingly rearranged the next morning by the person or persons unknown.  If it was me siding with the minions of darkness, I would simply have binned the divine noun and ended the matter there, but GBH, gentle reader, was merely an observer.

Predictably (and in my opinion rather unimaginatively), the heathens next tried word substitution as a means to break the deadlock. MOIST IS GOOD announced the fridge one morning, GOD IS DARK another. Yet again, the faithful were unstinting in their corrective efforts, undaunted by adversity, unflagging in their dedication. The infidels, initially enthusiastic, began running out of steam after a month or so, until GOD IS GOOD went unmolested for almost a whole week.

This respite didn't last long before a cunning new tactic began: what the engineer in me saw as adding noise to the signal. One sunny morning I arrived to find a fridge that had two eye-catching messages: GOD IS GOOD had been joined by BREEZE AT BEACH. This lasted two days before it was rather half-heartedly pushed over to the edge of the fridge door (but not broken up); the godly magnet arrangers clearly wanted it gone but felt somewhat guilty at pettishly removing such an innocuous and appropriately summery message. The very next morning it was back there right next to GOD IS GOOD, and there it stayed for almost a week.

In hindsight, that was the defining moment in the campaign, and by leaving the secular message in its prominent position, the Christians had opened the door for a rapid defeat, as further denial-of-service messages started to appear. One week after the first appearance of BREEZE AT BEACH, someone added SMILE HAPPY PEOPLE. There was one further attempt at restoring the solo supremacy of GOD IS GOOD, followed the next morning by all three messages reappearing along with a fourth, CANDY CARAMEL MARSHMALLOW. Several more appeared over the next few weeks.

That is how the situation stands today, arguably a tactical victory for the forces of darkness. If there is further action, rest assured k5 that your man on the scene will keep you updated as this gripping drama unfolds.

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Poll
POLL MY POLE
o SOFT WOMAN PASSION CANDY FLOW 45%
o GOD IS GOOD 20%
o MOIST IS GOOD 40%
o GOD IS DARK 25%
o BREEZE AT BEACH 27%
o SMILE HAPPY PEOPLE 30%
o CANDY CARAMEL MARSHMALLOW 25%

Votes: 40
Results | Other Polls

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o Also by GrubbyBeardedHermit


Display: Sort:
GOD IS GOOD | 26 comments (24 topical, 2 editorial, 1 hidden)
WIPO (3.00 / 2) (#1)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Nov 20, 2008 at 12:26:23 PM EST

(  ))=====D

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

dog is good, god is food, etc $ (3.00 / 3) (#3)
by loteck on Thu Nov 20, 2008 at 01:22:48 PM EST


--
"You're in tune to the musical sound of loteck hi-fi, the musical sound that moves right round. Keep on moving ya'll." -Mylakovich
"WHAT AN ETERNAL MOBIUS STRIP OF FELLATIATIC BANALITY THIS IS." -Harry B Otch

you creativity humbles me (none / 1) (#6)
by GrubbyBeardedHermit on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 02:40:30 AM EST


GBH
[ Parent ]

Of course the mailing list is closed. (none / 1) (#4)
by sudogeek on Thu Nov 20, 2008 at 05:49:27 PM EST

Christians were viewed as subversives. They prayed in locked upstairs rooms and in the catacombs. You can understand that - when caught out they were crucified. If their mailing list was open (or perhaps exposed by an industrious kuron with some skilz), imagine the opportunity for amount of trolling that would overwhelm these poor innocent believers. Talk about signal-to-noise!

Well? What are the addresses?

You're an arrogant, condescending, ignorant dipshit. - trhurler

They were oppressed? (none / 0) (#5)
by curien on Thu Nov 20, 2008 at 07:41:08 PM EST

Maybe they should push for reparations.

--
Murder your babies. -- R Mutt
[ Parent ]
Fuck yeah (none / 1) (#8)
by ksandstr on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 05:27:37 AM EST

We should start the crucifixions again. It's what they want, isn't it?

Fin.
[ Parent ]
concur (none / 0) (#26)
by 7h3647h32in6 on Sun Jan 04, 2009 at 01:54:34 PM EST

Crucify the heathens, cleanse the world for the new Israel.

That's what the Catholics wanted at least.

[ Parent ]

... IN BED (3.00 / 9) (#7)
by daveybaby on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 02:46:59 AM EST

$

WIPO (none / 0) (#9)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 10:19:58 AM EST

KILL YOURSELF


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
Abstain (0) (none / 0) (#10)
by i1n3k on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 11:19:05 AM EST

Well written, but no payoff.

Libenter homines id quod volunt credunt. — Julius Caesar

you can take the story out of the ghetto (none / 1) (#21)
by GrubbyBeardedHermit on Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 05:46:48 AM EST

but not the ghetto out of the story

GBH
[ Parent ]

yup (none / 1) (#22)
by totmacher on Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 04:45:47 PM EST

i done been jerked off with no kleenex

-- I'll sum it up for yo: You = Douche bag ~ Butthurtapotamus
[ Parent ]
"GOD IS GOD" - Juno Reactor (3.00 / 2) (#11)
by Stick Apart on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 12:39:42 PM EST

GOD IS GOD
-------
JOIN THE RAY ECKSON CLUB
His god ... IS God. (none / 1) (#12)
by rpresser on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 02:41:32 PM EST

[http://www.wavsource.com/snds_2008-11-16_737976167925984/movies/ten_command/his_ god.wav]
------------
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty
[ Parent ]
GBH DID IT (none / 1) (#13)
by BottleRocket on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 03:32:30 PM EST


$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
$B R Σ III$

Obvious solution: (3.00 / 2) (#16)
by Pentashagon on Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 10:50:00 PM EST

Write an anagram solver and run it against the letters available and 'fortune -o' and rearrange the fridge every day.  If you run out of letters, buy some more.

And stop with the bullshit about "observer" status.  We know you spelled MOIST IS GOOD.

I stood in the Denny's parking lot... (3.00 / 2) (#17)
by MichaelCrawford on Sat Nov 22, 2008 at 05:38:50 AM EST

... this was the Denny's at Travis Boulevard and Interstate 880 in Fairfield, California. Reypulque, our friend Chuck and I had just been drinking coffee.

I stood in the parking lot contemplating the marquee on the Holiday Inn sign next door. I stared at it for quite some time, without saying anything.

"What are you staring at?" asked Chuck.

I pondered a little longer before answering. I had to be sure.

"It has enough letters to spell 'cunnilingus'," I said.

Hilarity then ensued.

As we were preparing to leave, someone came out of Denny's and asked us to wait there while he called the police. "OK," Chuck said. We all got in his truck and drove away.

I-880 at that point is an eight-lane highway, four in each direction. The following afternoon I drove by as I headed back to Santa Cruz. Our handiwork was still plainly visible.

My only regret is that I didn't have my camera with me.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


LIES // (none / 0) (#18)
by The Hanged Man on Sun Nov 23, 2008 at 06:01:55 PM EST


-------------

Dificile est saturam non scribere - Juvenal
[ Parent ]
this one (none / 0) (#23)
by murp on Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 05:03:48 PM EST

here?

I don't see any marquee...   :(

[ Parent ]
How about.. (none / 0) (#19)
by CindySueWho on Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 12:59:48 AM EST

"IS A PERSONAL CHOICE"

or.......

"IS YOUR CHOICE"

:)

Peace and best wishes from North Georgia..

settle it with (none / 0) (#20)
by postDigital on Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 05:19:32 AM EST

Bible Fight!



I love it. $ (none / 0) (#24)
by skyknight on Tue Nov 25, 2008 at 10:23:31 PM EST



It's not much fun at the top. I envy the common people, their hearty meals and Bruce Springsteen and voting. --SIGNOR SPAGHETTI
...BUT EVOLUTION IS FALSIFIABLE (none / 0) (#25)
by Wen Jian on Wed Nov 26, 2008 at 07:05:21 AM EST

Of course, they'll think that means 'wrong', but fuck them, y'know?
It was an experiment in lulz. - Rusty
GOD IS GOOD | 26 comments (24 topical, 2 editorial, 1 hidden)
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