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Midnight, San Francisco BART @ 16th and Mission

By localman in Culture
Tue Sep 15, 2009 at 02:25:37 PM EST
Tags: (all tags)

I don't think I was actually in any danger.  I would go to the station again.  Last time I went there the station was shut down for an hour because some nut had run into the tunnel and the police were trying to find him.  Strange area.

But here's what happened last night in case you're interested:


It's almost midnight, and I get down to the platform and sit on a bench.  An announcement is made over the loudspeaker that there will be no trains coming through until the police arrive to remove "a young man with a skateboard".  Right then a young, clean cut white guy with huge jeans walks in front of me.  He has an entire skateboard awkwardly stuffed down the back of his incredibly loose pants.  I make note of this.  He walks with a forced, swaying strut.

A yuppy looking guy (who seems gay to me) walks by soon after, carrying two inflatable dolphins on a stick, like something you might get at a parade.  He goes right up to the skateboard kid, sticks his nose about an inch from his face and says loudly, "Why are you fucking up my train?"  The skateboard kid screams back "I don't know you!  Get the fuck away from me!"  A few more similar exchanges take place, accompanied by some shoving.

Then the skateboard kid whips out a small but nasty looking knife.  "I'll cut you!" he yells.  The yuppy guy with the dolphins does not seem to be worried about the knife, so the skateboard kid asks him "I'll cut you!  You think I won't?" There is some pretty aggressive shoving at this point, and the yuppy guy gets knocked over and drops his dolphins.  The skateboard kid lunges with his knife at the dolphins on the ground and stabs one, popping it.  Calling attention to this, he asks the other fellow, "You like that motherfucker?"

Up until now I am sitting about ten feet from the action.  I figure this is not the ideal place to be so I start heading upstairs.  At this point they are grappling very aggressively, and the skateboard kid manages to throw dolphin man off the platform and onto the BART tracks.  Although he does not hit the third rail, and thus avoids being toasted, it is a several foot drop onto concrete and steel that he takes on his side.  It looks pretty painful.  The skateboard guy once again asks, "How you like that?".

The last thing I see as the escalator carries me out of view is dolphin man groggily trying to get on his feet and climb out.

Upstairs I head towards the BART station attendant.  He asks, "Is he still down there?".  "Yes," I reply, "he's got a knife and he just threw someone onto the tracks." The BART attendant makes another phone call to the police.  He tells me that the skateboard guy had threatened him with the skateboard before going downstairs.

He tells me that a few months ago some guy attacked him with an axe, but he managed to get the axe and shove the guy down the escalator.

The police arrive a few minutes later, and they go downstairs.  While this is happening, a grungy looking guy with an old bike comes down from outside and into the ticket area where I'm hanging out.  The bike has lots of stuff attached to it with bungie cords.  The grungy guy seems to be talking to himself, but he asks me directly for "the fastest way to Embarcadero".  I reply that BART is not running.

He tells me, "I just got stabbed up there", and shows me a bloody hand with a long gash across his palm.  "Man, that sucks," I reply lamely.  "No, it doesn't suck," he informs me, "I'm Jesus Fuckin' Christ.  They can't hurt me." I don't reply.

"Now tell me how to get to Embarcadero," he reiterates.  "Downstairs," I tell him.  He doesn't go downstairs though, and instead mills around the ticket area with his bike.

In a few more minutes the police come up with two guys in handcuffs, the skateboard guy, and another guy, whom for some reason I don't recognize as dolphin man.  Neither of them seem seriously hurt.

I go back downstairs.  Both dolphins have been punctured, and are laying on the bench where I had been sitting.  A homeless looking guy is fondling them sadly.

I hop on the next train home.

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Poll
Who is the Hero of the Story?
o Skateboard Guy 14%
o Dolphin Guy 28%
o The Author 14%
o The BART Attendant 33%
o The Guy with the Bike 33%
o The Homeless Looking Guy 28%

Votes: 21
Results | Other Polls

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o Also by localman


Display: Sort:
Midnight, San Francisco BART @ 16th and Mission | 25 comments (23 topical, 2 editorial, 0 hidden)
WIPO: The dolphins gave their lives defending the (3.00 / 7) (#1)
by Pentashagon on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 03:02:02 AM EST

BART station.  They are the TRUE AMERICAN HEROES!!

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. (none / 0) (#25)
by noscript on Sun Sep 27, 2009 at 02:04:06 PM EST

Or the other end, too, for that matter.

[ Parent ]
I remember that place pretty well. (3.00 / 5) (#2)
by Have A Nice Day on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 07:09:41 AM EST

Turn up 16th and it looks alright. Walk south down Mission after dark and things start to feel a little, uh, sketchy.

That's the only place I've ever seen a store with window posters advertising porn "New and Used". Used porn? Christ...

IIRC there are some OK bars and some decent places to eat somewhere around 16th and Valencia though. Somewhere around there is where I got the cheapest "taxi" ever too. My friend and I were drunk as arse at around 2am and looking for another bar. Damn shame it seems to be against the law to serve booze after 2am in SF (WTF?), but this car pulled up on the street. I think the guy was just trying to bum a cigarette but before he could speak I yelled "ARE YOU A TAXI?" at him in a loud, drunken British accent.

Turns out he was going in the right direction and we got him to drive us all the way to Fremont for 10 bucks and a couple of cigarettes.

Strange journey though, my travelling companion wedged himself in amongst the garbage in the back of the car and I sat in the front, babbling like a drunken lunatic. Over the course of the journey our driver told us how he'd been in the army (I think maybe we were supposed to be impressed), then how he'd just got out of prison, and then how his mother had died the week before. A sober man might have been worried that he'd got in a taxi with a lunatic in a strange country and was now on a long car journey through unfamiliar territory. Not I!

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Have A Nice Day may have reentered the building.
Used porn? Why not? (none / 0) (#19)
by Keepiru on Wed Sep 16, 2009 at 12:00:40 PM EST

People who can't afford the internet need all the discounts they can get.

[ Parent ]
Why would a guy from England be surprised about (none / 0) (#20)
by Korean Loller Blader on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 03:06:33 PM EST

a place not serving beer after 2 AM? How about after 7 PM or whatever retarded time you people stop serving booze over there?
D'oh! I can't seem to talk to the mod_
[ Parent ]
We have 24 hour licensing now (none / 0) (#21)
by Have A Nice Day on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 05:19:27 PM EST

Not that many places are open all the time

But it's always been easy enough to find another drinking hole in London if you want to keep going.

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Have A Nice Day may have reentered the building.
[ Parent ]
someone who will drive you around for money (none / 0) (#24)
by Linux or FreeBSD on Thu Sep 24, 2009 at 03:12:35 PM EST

but is not a taxi is referred to as a "hack", at least around here.

[ Parent ]
Please clarify something for me. . . (none / 0) (#4)
by hugin on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 09:17:54 AM EST

Is LilDebbie the guy on the bike claiming to be Jesus Christ or the skateboard guy that is trying to kill everyone?  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!

Why can't he be both? (3.00 / 3) (#5)
by Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 11:38:35 AM EST

Crazy knows no limits.

[ Parent ]
knife beats dolphin, gotcha (3.00 / 2) (#6)
by mrbastard on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 12:13:55 PM EST


"ohmygod I have a boyfriend" - Wen Jian

One question for you: (1.50 / 2) (#7)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 02:01:16 PM EST

Who farted?


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
3 Honkees Ref? (none / 1) (#10)
by localman on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 03:22:07 PM EST

http://www.3honkees.com/misc/3-Honkees-Who-Farted.mp3

[ Parent ]
MOAR LIKE TOM STOPPARD AMIRITE? (none / 0) (#12)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 04:42:05 PM EST




"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
[ Parent ]
I was thinking Terrance and Phillip $ (none / 1) (#16)
by Have A Nice Day on Tue Sep 15, 2009 at 06:17:29 AM EST



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Have A Nice Day may have reentered the building.
[ Parent ]
But what is the name of the man that farted? (3.00 / 2) (#11)
by Have A Nice Day on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 04:09:10 PM EST

Who!

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Have A Nice Day may have reentered the building.
[ Parent ]
Vlad $ (3.00 / 5) (#13)
by some nerd on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 05:50:08 PM EST



--
Home Sweet Home

[ Parent ]
Cool story, bro. (3.00 / 3) (#8)
by GhostOfTiber on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 02:05:15 PM EST


[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

Describe the events leading up to your insanity (none / 1) (#9)
by BottleRocket on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 02:52:16 PM EST


$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
$B R Σ III$

i didn't know we were posting diaries (3.00 / 16) (#14)
by zombie lonelyhobo on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 07:59:59 PM EST

straight to the queue now.

I'll be right behind you with some ASCII pictures of dicks
NIGGA YOU DUMB

Sounds like a typical day in SF... (3.00 / 2) (#17)
by ckm on Tue Sep 15, 2009 at 11:18:48 PM EST

... like last night when I ran into the kids (and they are kids) that regularly mug people around the corner from my house. Hopefully more of this kind of stuff will drive all the yuppies out, but I doubt it. It's actually gotten better in the last ten years, there are no more gun battles in the park...

Now you've got something to talk about at dinner. (3.00 / 2) (#18)
by j1mmy on Tue Sep 15, 2009 at 11:54:55 PM EST



localman == pussy (3.00 / 2) (#22)
by shoemaker on Thu Sep 17, 2009 at 09:30:23 PM EST



localman ==> pussy (none / 1) (#23)
by localman on Fri Sep 18, 2009 at 10:52:28 AM EST

I think you missed a keystroke there

[ Parent ]
Midnight, San Francisco BART @ 16th and Mission | 25 comments (23 topical, 2 editorial, 0 hidden)
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