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[P]
My Trip to MEPS

By hugin in Culture
Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 02:57:48 AM EST
Tags: military, soldier, MEPS, United States, Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marine Corp., Navy, medical processing (all tags)

MEPS is a abbreviation for "Military Entrance Processing Station".  It is where all want to be soldiers go to be processed into the military.  (The military is defined as all enlisted and officer positions in the Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Navy, Marines.)  Getting to MEPS usually requires a multistep process some time before.  At MEPS, all prospective soldiers will be given a medical physical.  If a prospective soldier is in need of a ASVAB score for job placement, then that will be offered before the physical.  

If there is one thing that I can say about MEPS, then it is to kill everyone with kindness.  Be respectful and say "yes" and not "yeah".  Add "sir" or "ma'am" to every sentence.  Say thank you after they direct you to somewhere--even if they sound like they are angry at you.  And try not to be loud.  They almost always end up being nice right back at you.  They are people, too, after all!


My trip to MEPS was quite interesting (although, I would hope not to do it again).  The whole affair started on Tuesday, technically, but I did not get to the hotel until Wednesday evening.  Almost everyone who is getting a physical at MEPS stays in a hotel for the night before.  

The hotel that I stayed at for the Tampa MEPS was called "Mainsail" and was about 20 minutes from MEPS.  I arrived Wednesday night and was dropped off at the lobby.  MEPS individuals were not checked into their rooms at the lobby but at a mobile check in station near the buildings dedicated to MEPS.  The lady in the office was nice enough to provide me with a map and sent me on my way.  I was confused as to what way I was going at first because I did not know the orientation of the map.  I finally figured it out, however, and got to my destination.  

After I had arrived at the mobile check in station (which was actually two hotel suites converted into a office: one had the waiting room and the other had the actual office), I waited.  It was about 30 minutes that I waited but my group finally got called into the office and we were given a very stern lecture on how to behave while at the hotel.  Essentially, that meant no alcohol, no running/screaming/disruption, no destruction, curfew at 2300, and only the assigned occupants were allowed in each hotel suite.  The lady processed each of us individually and put us to a hotel suite with 2 other people.  

My hotel room was quite big and I soon saw why three people were assigned to a single suite.  The suites were apartment buildings converted into a hotel.  My apartment was a two bedroom, two bathroom, one kitchen, one living room suite.  The lady put me in the single person bedroom and I was very grateful for her doing this.  After laying my items in my room, I went down to Latitudes (the hotel cafe) for a free dinner.  

Sadly, they did not have much food for the MEPS people to begin with but as vegan/vegetarian MEPS person, I found only a salad and some fruit to my liking.  (That is fine though as I have gotten used to that over the years.)  I did like the salad because it had some orange tomatoes.  I had never seen that before.  Dinner was a over and I was almost filled but I had a granola bar for good measure when I got back to my room.  And then I took a shower and set in for the night just a little before 2200.  My alarm was set for 0430 (the official wakeup call was at 0445).  

I am not sure how I slept that night but I woke up as soon as I had heard my alarm go off and I was already in the bathroom taking a shower before I knew it.  While in my shower, the wakeup call came in on the phone but I had let it ring and so I missed it.  I did not imagine that I was in the shower for long and while I was putting my clothes on, another had come in which I had picked up, listened too, and hung up.  I checked my watch and it said 0445 so I imagine that the previous one was at 0440 or so.  But I was off to the main lobby for breakfast at the restaurant.  

Breakfast was worse than dinner.  I had a bowl of grits, some chopped potatoes, and a glass of juice (apple, I think).  Then I waited for 30 minutes for the shuttles to depart at MEPS.  I had not boarded the shuttles so that I could use the restroom right before we left as I did not know when I would be able to use the restroom at MEPS.  The shuttle ride took about 20 minutes and, after arriving at MEPS, we were taken off the shuttles in groups (which were two big coach busses--there were over 100 people doing the physical (134 was a number that I had heard in that context)).  The people here for the physicals comprised the largest group and we were subsequently broken down into Navy and nonNavy.  

We were instructed to line up outside of MEPS and given  a lecture on procedure and protocol and told that if we had any weapons or sharp objects of any sort that we were to declare them immediately (before we entered into the building).  At this point, I was worried because I had a few pens and pencils in my backpack as well as my keys.  I thought about declaring them but I figured that I would just appeal to common sense if they said something because if I had said something, then someone might have gotten mad at me.  I passed through the metal detector and my backpack passed through the x-ray machine with ease.  

Once inside, I realized that the Navy group was already inside and they were lined up in the hallway all very quiet.  NonNavy personal were designated into two different paths depending on whether or not the individual had and bags/backpacks/luggage.  All loose items were to be stored in the cubby room but we all ended up in the liaison office waiting room.  All the branches of the military are located there and do the specific individual branch processing.  I was given a sticky tag with my name and a barcode and markered on a letter designating my status for that day.  At first, my status was D (I do not know what it meant) but it got changed to F within 15 minutes after the 'mistake' was noticed.  I chuckled inside a bit at that.  

After receiving my blank medical papers, I was directed to MEPS medical processing where I was quickly checked in.  My first stop was for a eye exam (presumably due to the "DEPTH" written on my tag).  The lady administering the vision test was very nice to me after noticing my last name (which is German) and we had a very brief but quite fun conversation in German.  I liked her a lot and she was very helpful to me for the rest of the day.  After the eye exam, I was told that I have very good eyes and I was directed into the next room to get my blood pressure.  No one commented on my blood pressure.  

After those two tests, I was told to sit in the hallway by the blood pressure man.  Some minutes later, the nice German lady who had given me my eye exam popped out and directed me to the hearing test.  There, 8 people sat in a sound proof room and listened to very faint tones through 8 headphones.  I was lucky 7.  The instructions were to push a button whenever a tone occurred in order to stop that tone from sounding.  I think that I passed but it was very difficult to hear some of my tones over the constant clicking of the buttons.  And, to make matters worse, the booth was hardly sound proof!  The outside was muffled slightly but I kept overhearing the conversation between the two technicians.  It was quite annoying.  

After the hearing test, I got a briefed on alcohol and was tested using a breathalyzer.  Any alcohol--no matter what amount--that was detected would be grounds for immediate dismissal from MEPS and all processing would stop.  I was really freaking out at this point.  I had no alcohol the night before (indeed, I have only drunk heavily (1 or more equivalent of alcohol in a 24 hour period) thrice in my life).  I was given a tube to stick into the machine and told to open it.  I kept mine in the packaging until just before I was about to be tested.  It came to me and I blew strong and forcefully.  The man administering the test looked at the readout and wrote down what he saw.  I was so relieved when I saw that it was negative.  

After the alcohol test, I was directed to the orthoneural testing room.  I had heard of this test and I took what I had heard with great calmness but when the whole thing actually happened, I was quite surprised.  Not necessarily in a good way but I digress. . .

I had walked into the motion testing room where about 12 other people were (a lot of testes and some testers) and I was instructed to remove all of my clothes (sans the underwear--boxers for today).  My height and weight were measured and I was directed into a doctor's office.  I was asked a few questions and then instructed to sit on a stool where he did some doctory examinations (ears, eyes, chest).  I thought that that was over but it was not.  This was the exciting part!  He had me remove my underwear.  I froze for a moment and then complied.  I had no idea on how I should act so I just stood there.  He placed his gloved hands under my scrotum and directed me to turn left and cough.  He had to repeat it twice before I did it.  Then I was told to bend over and spread my buttocks with my hands.  I quickly complied but I forgot to spread and he, again, told me twice.  After he checked everything that he needed to, I was instructed to pull up my underwear and leave the office.  

As I had said before, I have heard of this and I thought that I was ready for it but when it happened, I felt a flood of shock and fear over me.  Having been through that, the rest of the test was very awkward for me.  I was tense all over.  The lady (doctor/nurse) made us do some exercises.  I do not even remember all that we did but it was pretty fun.  Kind of like a gymnastics class only more strict.  I think that we all passed so that was good.  

Next, we were directed to blood and urine testing.  I was told to do blood testing first.  Here, they determine what your blood type is and whether or not you have HIV.  Those are the only two things that they check for, I think.  The urine testing is for drugs.  I do not know why they do not do both in one fell swoop with the blood.  No matter, the blood testing was very quick.  I thought that it would be bad because the needle looked thicker than when I had gotten my immunizations (which just pricked a bit) but it did not.  It was cool (in a bad way, I would say) to see my blood being drawn.  Apparently, blood tests are routine every year in the military.  

Next was the urine test for me.  This test was the hardest for me, I would say.  Essentially, it was four urinals with no dividers between them and a green tape on the ground.  All testes were to stand behind the green tape (about 1 foot away from the urinal) and place the cup in their left hand and begin urinating into the cup while your neighbors and the proctor could see you.  I was too nervous the first time even though I really had to urinate.  So I was dismissed from the testing room and told to drink more water.  

I did so and I kept drinking for the next 30 minutes or so until I could not hold it in anymore.  This one guy was kind enough to let me cut in front of him after I had asked.  I really appreciated that.  The second time I managed to do it.  It took me the first minute to get a few drops but after that I managed to fill the container.  I tried to finish in the urinal but I could not manage it with 8 people watching and so I just zipped my pants and held the rest in.  We waited in a line for one more group of 4 and one group of 1 to do what we did.  When that was finished, we all submitted out samples to a medical person who took a set amount of the urine and had us dump out any excess.  

With that, my medical processing was over and it was time to check out.  After I checked out, I headed over to my Marine liaison and submitted my medical records.  At that time, lunch was called for us so I headed over to the MEPS room.  There were Blimpie sandwiches, drinks, chips, fruits, and deserts.  I did not find a vegetarian sandwich so I asked the lady and she was kind enough to go into the back and find me one.  I really appreciated that.  I included into my lunch a wrapped cookie, bottle of water, banana, and bag of Fritos.  I ate my sandwich and banana there and asked to put the rest in my backpack (locked in the cubby room) to take home.  It was a decent lunch.  

I proceeded back to the Marine liaison office and waited in the waiting room for about 1 hour.  I was called back in sometime after they had lunch (Popeye's).  They told me that I had scored a 99 on the ASVAB (I still do not know what the highest score is) and that I was qualified for any job in the Marines but that MOS 0231 (Intelligence Specialist) was open and that I would be a fool not to take it.  I said that I would take it then.  I was actually unsure if I wanted that kind of job at the time that I accepted it but I think that in retrospect, it will be a very good job.  I was given some paperwork to take to the final processing station.  

Final processing was fairly quick.  I got in and talked to a very nice Spanish lady who is (I think) in the Army Reserves.  She had been to Iraq which was amazing to me and she put me at ease through the whole procedure.  I liked her happy/uppity attitude.  We just went over the final paperwork and made sure that everything was correct.  Then she directed me to get all of my fingerprints taken at a station in the same room (she was in a cubicle).  

As a aside, at MEPS, everything is done biometrically.  When you first arrive, you get your picture taken a few times and then you get four fingerprints taken (left/right index and left/right middle).  All through the day you have to scan your fingerprints whenever you do something new.  It is pretty cool but kind of scary.  

I got fingerprinted by a very professional and nice black man called Mister Dixon.  He was in the Army Reserves, too.  (That was when I realized that a lot of these 'civilian' employees are also Reservists.)  He was really nice to me in explaining to me all about fingerprints and what to look for in fingerprints and how the machine works and all.  It took longer than usual because the machine had messed up a few times but it was interesting.  I got all 10 fingerprints taken in both rolling and flatpress mode.  I was instructed to head back to the Marine liaison office and submit my paperwork.  I did so and I was told to await the swearing in ceremony.  

The swearing in ceremony was my first formal military event.  Before we swore in, we got a briefing on how to act and what attention stance was versus what parade stance was.  The key of both stances is to not lock out your knees.  Apparently, the blood flow will get cut off and you will pass out or die.  We also got a brief introduction of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) on the subject of desertion and absence without leave.  

We were then herded into the ceremony room (which was a very lush and upscale room in relation to the rest of MEPS).  Guys were called in first and told to tuck in the shirts.  My pant lacked a button (the button fell off that morning) but I was wearing a polo shirt so that was good.  I was assigned to the front row (there were two rows of four people each).  We waited for a Army captain to arrive and give us the oath of enlistment.  She arrived soon and instructed us to put up out right hands.  I failed to and instead put up my left hand without realizing it.  We each called out our names and then oath preceded.  About halfway through, I realized that I had my left hand up and not my right hand so I quickly changed.  The captain looked at me and I think that she laughed a little bit.  When the ceremony was finished, we were dismissed to do a biometric signing of out contracts.  

While she was biometrically signing us, the captain was very nice to us and kept asking us questions about us and told us to make sure that we work hard.  When my turn to biometrically sign the contract came up, my file would not pull.  We tried both my left and right fingerprints but nothing would work.  I was instructed to go to the control desk and tell them that "the recruit is not identified" which I did (to the letter).  By then, my recruiter had been waiting to pick me up for about 30 minutes.  They had to print out a hard copy of the contract for me to sign.  It took some time to do so (about another 30 minutes) but I did it.  I submitted it to my Marine liaison and my recruiter came with me to submit to make sure that everything was finished and I could leave.  

Before I left, I was given a quick introduction to boot camp where two of the Marine liaisons got all over me and tried to make me scream "YES, SIR!".  It took a few times but I managed to actually scream it.  It was kind of fun and I got one piece of advice: do not look the drill instructors in the eyes.  Avoiding eye contact will usually spare you from their wrath and the drill instructors eye contact because it comes off as if you are challenging them.  I will remember that!  

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My Trip to MEPS | 65 comments (52 topical, 13 editorial, 0 hidden)
LULZ (3.00 / 5) (#2)
by undermyne on Fri Sep 04, 2009 at 02:45:23 PM EST

A marine vegan. Wont last a week.

"You're an asshole. You are the greatest troll on this site." Some nullo

I might not make it as a vegan but. . . (none / 0) (#36)
by hugin on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 01:58:39 PM EST

I am going to try.  I have decided that I am willing to go vegetarian if that is what it takes to pass boot camp but I will not pass that.  Even if it means failing out of the Marines.  I refuse to eat any meat.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

i thought you liked eating meat (3.00 / 2) (#37)
by Ruston Rustov on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 02:33:25 PM EST


I had had incurable open sores all over my feet for sixteen years. The doctors were powerless to do anything about it. I told my psychiatrist that they were psychosomatic Stigmata - the Stigmata are the wounds Jesus suffered when he was nailed to the cross. Three days later all my sores were gone. -- Michael Crawford
Maybe tomorrow. -- Michael Crawford
As soon as she has her first period, fuck your daughter. -- localroger

[ Parent ]
Did you ever see that southpark episode... (none / 1) (#48)
by undermyne on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 02:02:05 PM EST

where the new fad was eating food through your ass? That is how he likes to eat his meat.

"You're an asshole. You are the greatest troll on this site." Some nullo

[ Parent ]
I'm still wayyyy past that. (none / 0) (#57)
by Pentashagon on Tue Sep 08, 2009 at 01:33:00 AM EST

Roadkill is becoming more and more of a delicacy now that winter is coming and finding edible dead vegetation is more difficult.

[ Parent ]
I salute you sir. (3.00 / 4) (#3)
by tdillo on Fri Sep 04, 2009 at 03:48:16 PM EST

May you have fair winds and following seas.

Good luck in your endeavors!

Fucking Leathernecked jar-head green gyrene mother-fucker! Don't fuckin' shoot yourself in the dick you sad-ass sack of shit.

did you make any friends? (3.00 / 2) (#4)
by j1mmy on Fri Sep 04, 2009 at 04:05:58 PM EST

do intelligence specialists have to go through boot camp?

I did not make friends but. . . (2.00 / 3) (#8)
by hugin on Fri Sep 04, 2009 at 05:45:17 PM EST

One guy kept looking at me and he seemed kind of cool (and maybe gay) so I kept looking at him from time to time.  Later in the day, I got enough courage to go up and talk to him a bit.  We talked about each other's lives and then I brought up the topic of girlfriends.  He stated that he had never had one and so I thought that he might have been gay.  I told him that I never had one either because I was not particularly into girls.  He looked at me a bit weird and so I clarified that I was gay.  I asked if he was too and he started freaking out.  Luckily, he did not yell or make a fuss.  He just tried to get away from me.  It was a bit embarassing.  We avoided each other for the rest  of the day.  I guess that I need to be more careful.  

On the other hand, I am MOS 0231 (Intelligence Specialist) so, yes, I must go to boot camp.  Then, after boot camp, I get to go to another infantry school and then it is on to my speciality school.  I am excited!  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

DONT ASK, DONT TELL. THEMS THE RULES FAGGOT $ (3.00 / 4) (#15)
by undermyne on Fri Sep 04, 2009 at 08:43:04 PM EST



"You're an asshole. You are the greatest troll on this site." Some nullo

[ Parent ]
Honestly, after reading hugin's comments, (3.00 / 3) (#26)
by current president of the usa on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 12:45:48 AM EST

I'm convinced that "Don't ask. Don't tell." is bad advice for hugin. He should ask, tell, and pin pictures of naked guys in his bunk. He should hit on his commanding officer and he should send a love letter to some General and attach a picture of his junk.

The core issue of "Don't ask. Don't tell." is that the gay guys have to be smart enough to get it on the sly, and it'll be easier if he gets discharged now than later.

Signed with a Presidential Seal

[ Parent ]
Or he might become a Republican Senator. (none / 1) (#29)
by tdillo on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 09:18:43 AM EST


The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The alternative is Michael Crawford.


[ Parent ]
hugin is into other dudes, not little boys (3.00 / 6) (#44)
by lastdayoftherestofyourlife on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 09:45:37 AM EST



[ Parent ]
you'll go far in 'military intelligence' (none / 0) (#53)
by rhiannon on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 05:14:50 PM EST

Of that I have no doubt.

-----------------------------------------
I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
[ Parent ]
Troll kills himself by signing up for the military (none / 1) (#18)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 04:45:58 PM EST

Film at +11.


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
Change your duty selection. (none / 1) (#19)
by sudogeek on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 08:21:08 PM EST

We didn't have MEPS in '69. If you enlisted in the Army, you got a letter telling you to muster at some Army depot (Jacksonville) and then you began. The health exam was a joke. They made you cough, checked you for a hernia, and then told you to fall out. There was no testing unless you wanted to try for a special division after basic. It really didn't matter - everyone knew they were going to Viet Nam for their first tour. If you wanted language school, etc., you could test into that after you got back.

Anyway, intelligence specialists often are right up there in the front. I would advise artillery. It was great fun firing those howitzers although hearing loss is an occupational hazard. At worst, you're stationed at a forward base but at least you don't have to enter and clear houses which is where a lot of Marines get killed.

You're an arrogant, condescending, ignorant dipshit. - trhurler

I do not mind being on the front. (none / 0) (#21)
by hugin on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 09:28:15 PM EST

Or dying (I am very adverse to being injuried though--for me it is not about life so much as it is quality of life).  I might go to work for a defense contractor or something similar.  Really, I wanted to be a linguist but since I did(/could) not get that, I really do not mind what job I will get (in terms of my happiness while working that job).  At least, this one seems useful after I get out of the military.  I am not sure what I would do with a job in artillery.  If I had gotten linguist, then I would have tried to go work for the CIA when I left the military.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

Injury is far more common than death (3.00 / 3) (#27)
by tetsuwan on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 03:20:08 AM EST

seriously

Njal's Saga: Just like Romeo & Juliet without the romance
[ Parent ]

I know. . . (none / 0) (#35)
by hugin on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 01:54:24 PM EST

The great medical advancements made have made this a sad reality.  I have heard, however, that there are suicide clinics in Switzerland (Google link here) so I am not too worried.  Also, I am not so sure that I will be on the front lines where the action is.  I might be close but I could also end up well inside a safe area.  There is a lot to be uncertain about but I am not too worried.  Yet.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

lol (none / 0) (#60)
by tetsuwan on Sat Sep 12, 2009 at 02:28:49 AM EST

after serious injury you'd probably change your mind.

Njal's Saga: Just like Romeo & Juliet without the romance
[ Parent ]

I worked with a guy who loved 'Nam. (none / 0) (#43)
by claes on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 09:39:01 AM EST

He repaired radios in Saigon. Nothing to do but work and party. Some sort of equipment repair job would be safe.

[ Parent ]
Viet nam: mud, flies, mosquitos, and wet feet. (none / 1) (#46)
by sudogeek on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 11:22:45 AM EST

I spent most of my tour in Quang Tri receiving, repackaging, and shipping artillery shells. I probably spent a total of three weeks in Saigon. Although there was a lot of action in Quang Tri,  the most hazardous part of my job was travelling on Highway 1 from Cam Ranh to Da Nang and up to Quang Tri, particularly deliveries to Dong Ha.

Truly, injury is the most common. I can think of many more friends who were hurt in highway/traffic accidents than hostile action. Try hitting a water buffalo in an open jeep at night.

You're an arrogant, condescending, ignorant dipshit. - trhurler
[ Parent ]

Too young for 'nam by about 10... (none / 0) (#47)
by claes on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 12:14:20 PM EST

years, but I did consider the military, going so far as to apply for ROTC, but none where I ended up going. We work with the military a lot, and I still think it's a good career choice for some people, but a totally different world. But you'll always have good stories to share.



[ Parent ]

Ah yeah MEPS (none / 0) (#20)
by Armstrong Hammer on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 08:27:37 PM EST

I scored high on the ASVAB tests and went into the Army ROTC and earned A+s out of military science.

I served during the First Gulf War, but it was mostly BBQs and tents as the Air Force and Navy did most of the work keeping Saddam out of Kuwait. Quite fun and the GI Bill helped pay for college. I worked my way up to Captain but I had hoped to be promoted to Major but I got blackballed for being depressed and having a mental illness aka Gulf War Syndrome, due to the vaccinations they gave us to help fight against Saddam's WMDs biological warfare weapons.

Learn about the true liberal agenda in the United States of America.

I got a 99, apparently. (none / 0) (#22)
by hugin on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 09:30:22 PM EST

I still have no idea what that means.  I am not sure how they can manage to fit the 7 sections or so into one score but no one ever even explained the scoring system.  I would look it up but I am afraid of that I will find.

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

It means the recruiter will give you a blow job (3.00 / 3) (#23)
by Nimey on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 11:38:57 PM EST

if he can get you to sign up, because he'll get a big bonus for hauling in someone smart, yet dumb enough to join the Marines.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

[ Parent ]
I have not recieved any blowjob yet. (none / 0) (#32)
by hugin on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 01:41:29 PM EST

Please advise on when this will happen.  My recruiter smokes but is otherwise very attractive.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

The night before you leave for boot camp (none / 1) (#40)
by Nimey on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 07:50:46 PM EST

You may have to suck him off first, though; as you'll find out in your military career, rank has its privileges.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

[ Parent ]
What it really means (3.00 / 2) (#24)
by Nimey on Sat Sep 05, 2009 at 11:43:16 PM EST

is that you got all the answers right and you're in the 99th percentile.  This means that only 1% of ASVAB takers scored as well as you did (or better, but really nobody scores better than that).

This is from memory when I took the test in high school.  My score was in the low 90s, maybe 93 -- aced everything except for the mechanical aptitude; recruiters also advised me to shoot for military intelligence.  I was and am medically unfit, though, because of asthma.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

[ Parent ]

Awesome! (none / 0) (#33)
by hugin on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 01:47:13 PM EST

That explains a lot.  When I took the ASVAB, the guy who printed out my scores looked at me funny and acted a bit odd.  And neither my Army recruiter nor my Marine recruiter would comment on my scores other than saying that they let me have any job that I wanted.  And (one of) the Marine liaison at MEPS seemed to think quite highly of me.  

But I think that (at least the math/mechanial/autoshop part of) the ASVAB is mostly testing on what you know.  It is not a IQ test in the conventional sense, I think.  Thus education may highly affect results.  It strikes me as somewhat unfair in that regard because of my 6 years of college.  But, IDK.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

It is the highest score you can get (none / 0) (#38)
by Armstrong Hammer on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 03:10:32 PM EST

but the ASVAB test is easy enough that you'd have to be retarded to score lower than 90 on it. I got 99 as well. All branches of the military wanted to recruit me.

In times of war they usually draft those who get high ASVAB scores so most people usually choose the obvious wrong answers to get scores so low that the military does not want them.

I would strongly suggest ROTC in a college before you enlist, or ask to join the OCS officer school. You'll get a better pay grade and with your ASVAB score they should recommend that you become an officer. You'll have different basic training and it will be more mentally challenging but a score of 99 means you'll be able to make it through officer training.

Learn about the true liberal agenda in the United States of America.

[ Parent ]
Take a napalm shower. $ (none / 1) (#39)
by Nimey on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 03:18:00 PM EST


--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

[ Parent ]
It means you scored the same as me (none / 1) (#54)
by rhiannon on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 05:18:47 PM EST

when I was 17 and even then I was smart enough to not actually enlist.

-----------------------------------------
I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
[ Parent ]
Is killing people really fun? (none / 0) (#41)
by greengrass on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 09:20:02 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Yes. Next question please $ (3.00 / 2) (#42)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 09:37:30 AM EST




"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
[ Parent ]
good luck (3.00 / 2) (#25)
by channel on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 12:07:26 AM EST

I'd advise you to be really careful about being gay. It's fairly easy to avoid any official action being taken, but you don't want to even have a rumor about it among your platoon (or whatever they're called in the Marines). Depending on how strict your leadership is, one of the ways that discipline is enforced in the military is to have the troops start policing each other and rewarding those who rat people out. So if someone is maybe struggling a bit to keep up with the rest of the group, he might start calling you "faggot" just to make himself look better. And if people have been noticing that your eyes linger a bit too long at people in the showers, well, that's only going to make his tactic all the more effective. Just remember that some of the people you might find in your squad are from the deepest South where they literally run anyone out of town who appears the least bit "queer," and the military does nothing to discourage that mentality.

--
You are now reading my signature line.
Oh, yes, I try to be very careful. . . (none / 0) (#31)
by hugin on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 01:40:14 PM EST

And I notice that the recruiters (and recruitees to a lesseer extend) use  the word "faggot" and "homo" and similar quite liberally.  And they admonish each other for being gay or acting gay or doing gay things.  Personally, such things have never bothered me but it has given me some good light into what soldiers think.  

I would not want to be flogged/lynched/assualted for being gay because then everyone would know.  I am still very much in the closet in real(/professional/work/school) life.  But I have never tried to conceal(/lie about) my homosexuality before.  If someone asked,  then I answered truthfully.  Now, I think that I will have to.  

I reallly hope that being in the military does not infringe upon my ability to pick up guys.  I can not imagine that it would as my life now shows but, IDK, I will have to take things very slowly, at first.  (Plus, no gay sex during boot camp.  OMG!!!)

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

You should have joined the Navy if you like seaman (none / 1) (#49)
by undermyne on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 02:04:14 PM EST

$

"You're an asshole. You are the greatest troll on this site." Some nullo

[ Parent ]
Don't forget... (none / 0) (#58)
by Pentashagon on Tue Sep 08, 2009 at 01:36:34 AM EST

The current War is against terrists, vegans, abortionists, homosexuals, and all the other socialist hippie crap our forefathers died to avoid.

I would suggest suicide to avoid the dishonor of being brutally murdered by the Real soldiers in your unit when they find out you're a traitor.

[ Parent ]

lols (3.00 / 2) (#28)
by Fake Can Be Just As Good on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 06:19:36 AM EST

room where about 12 other people were (a lot of testes and some testers)

I am happy that someone picked up on it. (none / 0) (#34)
by hugin on Sun Sep 06, 2009 at 01:50:11 PM EST

Yes, I thought that the word 'testes' would be particularly cute in the section about coughing during the male physical.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

can't be real (3.00 / 3) (#45)
by /dev/trash on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 10:13:26 AM EST

Vegan?  In the military?

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
If you aren't careful.. (none / 0) (#50)
by undermyne on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 02:10:01 PM EST

our new neo-liberal, communist overlords will send you to afganistan. It's the new Iraq!

Enjoy killing sand niggers, if you get caught they kill the fuck out of faggots.

"You're an asshole. You are the greatest troll on this site." Some nullo

I do not mind going to Afghanistan or Iraq. (none / 0) (#52)
by hugin on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 04:04:04 PM EST

It would be nice to see other cultures and lands.  Even if they would lynch me, as you point out.  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

this post cemented my belief that you are... (none / 0) (#56)
by undermyne on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 09:42:04 PM EST

MICHAEL DAVID FUCKING CRAWFORD.

"You're an asshole. You are the greatest troll on this site." Some nullo

[ Parent ]
Did you enjoy the cocks everywhere? (none / 0) (#51)
by greengrass on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 02:39:12 PM EST



Quick tip: (none / 0) (#55)
by Booji Boy on Mon Sep 07, 2009 at 07:10:40 PM EST

'Yes sir' is the correct response, not 'Thank you'.

Why didn't you join the army in (none / 1) (#59)
by United Fools on Tue Sep 08, 2009 at 10:49:54 AM EST

Second Life, but instead in real life?

You can go to Iraq in the virtual world too! And much safer!

We are united, we are fools, and we are America!

BOOM! (none / 0) (#62)
by fenugeek on Sat Sep 12, 2009 at 11:32:09 PM EST

You daid now, homey.

[ Parent ]
My experience at MEPS Baltimore (none / 0) (#61)
by fenugeek on Sat Sep 12, 2009 at 11:03:56 PM EST

Back in 1985, I was living the Friends' post college lifestyle in Washington DC, at which time I had the good fortune to get into medical school.  The only question was how I was going to pay for it.  I came uppon the Health Profession Scholarships Progrma and there it seemed a pathway to achievment in the recognized fields of medicine and surgery in the field of military scnience for both disease and nonb attle injuries.  However, they made clear to me...this is not home town usa.  NOpe...oh no....this is NOT.......Home.......Town........USA.  You are in the United States Military now, and you can expect that what you expect ain't going to be what you respect.

I am sorry but I do not understand. . . (none / 0) (#63)
by hugin on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 04:07:13 PM EST

Would you mind clarifying for me?  (Particularly, the last part.)

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

Good luck and thanks for a great read! (3.00 / 2) (#64)
by Kawaii on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 05:36:16 PM EST

I'm sure you will do ok without eating meat but if a time comes when there is no option, then don't feel too bad about it. I am mostly vegetarian but sometimes its hard to find non veg food.

Peace and protection always!

Thank you! (none / 0) (#65)
by hugin on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 10:00:08 PM EST

I appreciate it!  

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!
[ Parent ]

My Trip to MEPS | 65 comments (52 topical, 13 editorial, 0 hidden)
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