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Why Does Money Make People Rude?

By Zombie Tyler Durden in Culture
Sat Jun 04, 2011 at 09:39:53 AM EST
Tags: (all tags)

When I was in college and working for near-minimum wage at copy shops and shipping plants, I was always very nice to other retail workers, even when they were incompetent. I would smile, say my pleases and thank yous, and go out of my way not to make their already bad job worse.

Now I graduated, and make almost $85K per year. I've just this job for a few weeks and I've already noticed a twinge of disdain towards blue collar workers.

An example would be illuminating. I went to Best Buy the other day to buy an iPod. I make my selection, poo-poo the extended warranty, paid in $100s, and left. As I approached my car, I noticed it said that I needed both an Internet connection and iTunes. I have neither (I just moved).

I went inside and asked if I could take a copy of iTunes. They informed me its free on Apple's site but they have no copies in the store. He offered me equivalent software, Playtunes, for $20.00. It was showtime.

"Are you guys trying to fuck me?" I said loudly.

"I buy this expensive hardware that needs free software, and you are going to charge me for something I don't fucking need." People stopped and watched. Mothers covered their young children's ears. "How are you going to try to fuck me."
The associate was nervous. He started mumbling, "Well you can download it for free..."

"What the fuck, I just told you I have no Internet. How are you going to fuck me?"

Silence. He had no response.

I pulled down his pants and his underwear in front of everyone. His penis was flaccid. "How are you going to fuck me if you can't even get a hard on when you're trying to screw me. What kind of fucking service is that?" He struggled to pull up his pants but I held him back.

I crouched down on me knees and started sucking his dick. He got hard immediately. "Please sir, this is inappropriate. Please stop. No more." He finally gave in, moaning pleasurable sighs and abstaining from making objections.

"Hey, I want some of that!" someone who was watching stated. He got behind the Best Buy employee. Soon, a sizable line formed.

The Best Buy associate ejaculated in my mouth and I swallowed it all. Without missing a beat, I depantsed the next guy in line and started sucking him off. I sucked dick after dick, and as more and more people began to see what was going on, more and more people got in line.

I was on my 10th dick or so when I saw a women in line, about 15 people back. This gave me an idea. Instead of swallowing, every person's cum I kept in my mouth until I reached her. Then when it was her turn, I spread her labia and spit my HUGE mouthful of cum right into her pussy! It was a perfect shot!!

"What the fuck?" she objected as she jumped back.

"That's what I call the Paris Hilton, bitch. Good luck finding the father!" I laughed, then continued to suck dick.

I sucked more dick in that day than any other day until now, and I doubt I'll break that record. I never did get my iTunes yet, but now that I have the Internet I suppose I could download it right now. In fact, I think I'll do it. Just thinking about iTunes gives me a hard on that just won't quit.


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Why Does Money Make People Rude? | 10 comments (9 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)
by Zombie Tyler Durden on Thu Jun 02, 2011 at 09:02:50 PM EST


DroPPiN Da DeuCe HarDz Kkk0re

OSHIT I DID THE SAME THING (1.50 / 2) (#2)
by Jobst of Moravia on Thu Jun 02, 2011 at 09:35:07 PM EST


   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
  ""     ""    ""

[ Parent ]

by LilDebbie on Fri Jun 03, 2011 at 12:16:26 AM EST


My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
+1FP WOULD FAP AGAIN (none / 0) (#3)
by LilDebbie on Fri Jun 03, 2011 at 12:15:30 AM EST

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

halp who is my father thx (none / 1) (#5)
by schlouse on Fri Jun 03, 2011 at 01:48:50 AM EST

Thta thare be some purty stale copy-pasta (2.66 / 3) (#6)
by tdillo on Fri Jun 03, 2011 at 01:54:21 AM EST

How are you going to try to fuck me? I come in here to moderape submissives and you try to feed me this stale ass shit. Look at the fucking expiration date!

It's done well past it's prime and I bet you dint even refridgerate that shit after opening, did you DID YOU! Passing it around like a coke can spittoon at a rodeo.

I may not agree with what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to go fuck yourself.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

K5 now. In 2011 (none / 0) (#8)
by xaccrocheur on Tue Jun 07, 2011 at 02:32:18 AM EST

The typical k5 poster is now a bad-mouthed gay man, with no internet access (?) going to best buy to get an ipod ? Oh. Kay.

homophobe (none / 0) (#9)
by lostincali on Fri Jun 17, 2011 at 08:40:18 PM EST

"The least busy day [at McDonalds] is Monday, and then sales increase throughout the week, I guess as enthusiasm for life dwindles."
[ Parent ]

makes people rude (none / 0) (#10)
by mikelist on Wed Jul 13, 2011 at 11:47:14 PM EST

because you can't shut the fuck up about having an allowance. i would agree, however, that an allowance is preferable to a recording contract with a hip-hop label.

not to mention, a basement bedroom can be cool in a midwestern summer. i'd say you have the world by the ass.

Why Does Money Make People Rude? | 10 comments (9 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)
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