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[P]
How It Went Down, a Play in One Act

By modus in Culture
Fri May 18, 2012 at 07:26:05 AM EST
Tags: GayForCrawford (all tags)

INT. A SUBURBAN HOME - EVENING

MDC and his Mother are arguing in the living room.

MDC: Mom, will you please give me the money to get my shit out of storage? I need those books and computers and shit.

Mother: No, I told you, I'm not giving you money to go down there, you'll just give it away to the first guy with a cardboard sign you see or else you'll blow it on strippers. I'm just not going to throw my money away like that.

MDC: But mom, you give me cash all the time to go into town and hangout at the web cafe--

Mother: YES! To get you out of my god damn hair so I can have a little peace and quiet. I can't stand it how you're always telling me how I should do things in my OWN house. I have managed just fine all these years then you come in here with no money, no job, no wife, with half the police in California keeping an eye out for you and you want to tell ME what to do. I give you money so you'll LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AWHILE.


MDC: Face facts mom, you really only want me out because I look uncannily like your own father and you just can't--

Mother: Look you, I've had enough of this. You don't look anything at all like your grandfather. Actually, I've never told you this but you should know. Your father in the Navy? He wasn't really your father. He was deployed and I got lonely, I had a short-term fling with one of those black musicians down at the club. I always thought he was a little strange but I wasn't dating him for his personality you understand. Unfortunately, I've regretted it ever since.

MDC: Listen mom, you're just in denial about your mental illness. I can see it.

Mother: WILL YOU CUT IT OUT! HAVE YOU HEARD A WORD I HAVE SAID?

MDC: Of course mother, I have heard your cry for help and I am here for you, if you'll just read this essay I wrote on--

Mother: I AM NOT READING ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN ESSAYS, I AM SICK OF ESSAYS, IF YOU SAY 'THE SOFTWARE PROBLEM' ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO SWALLOW THIS WHOLE BOTTLE OF PILLS!

MDC: But mother, The Software Problem is at the--

Mother: AUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

MDC: Oh My God MOM! We must get to the Emergency Room immediately!

INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM

MDC and his Mother are queued at the registration desk.

Male Nurse: Ma'am, can I help you?

Mother: YES MY SON IS AN ESCAPED LUNATIC, HE HAS BIPOLAR SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER< HIS NAME IS MICHAEL CRAWFORD AND HE IS DRIVING ME INSANE!

Male Nurse: Did you say Crawford Ma'am?

Mother: YES!

Male Nurse: SECURITY, WE HAVE A CODE MDC, I REPEAT CODE MDC, RESPOND STAT!

Hospital security swarms, MDC is forcibly restrained while an orderly administers a jab

MDC: Now look here! I have every ri-UMPH! UNGH, WAIT NOT THE . . . oh lurk at the prurty unicarns gurble master debugger gleble warp life drool . . .

Dedicated, inspired and mostly written by tdillo

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Display: Sort:
How It Went Down, a Play in One Act | 12 comments (9 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
HOSPITAL SECURITY WILL SWARM (3.00 / 4) (#1)
by nateo on Wed May 16, 2012 at 06:26:51 PM EST

ON ANY MOTHERFUCKER WITH A GRANDFATHER IN A NAVY UNIFORM

--
"I'm so gonna travel the world, photographing my dick at every location."
  - Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi
Just because I'm from the C. I. T. (3.00 / 2) (#7)
by Blarney on Thu May 17, 2012 at 12:02:14 AM EST

Ignorant motherfuckers are afraid of me!

[ Parent ]
Crazy MDC on the warpath (none / 1) (#10)
by Empedocles on Wed May 23, 2012 at 03:16:59 AM EST



---
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
'Till touch down brings me 'round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home

[ Parent ]
I think I saw a frog in the birdbath $ (none / 0) (#12)
by Blarney on Sat Jun 16, 2012 at 05:55:50 PM EST



[ Parent ]
fp without even reading it (3.00 / 2) (#2)
by Ignorant Motherfuckers on Wed May 16, 2012 at 06:40:32 PM EST



die $ (none / 1) (#6)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Wed May 16, 2012 at 09:40:34 PM EST




"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
[ Parent ]
+1 section (3.00 / 2) (#3)
by Nimey on Wed May 16, 2012 at 07:31:06 PM EST

Rusty fix your site you have to.
--
Never mind, it was just the dog cumming -- jandev
You Sir, are an Ignorant Motherfucker. -- Crawford
I am arguably too manic to do that. -- Crawford
I already fuck my mother -- trane
Nimey is right -- Blastard
i am in complete agreement with Nimey -- i am a pretty big deal

Section, I'll take it. (none / 1) (#9)
by modus on Fri May 18, 2012 at 10:35:11 AM EST

Thanks again to tdillo for the source material.

I enjoyed this, (3.00 / 2) (#11)
by k31 on Tue May 29, 2012 at 06:35:56 AM EST

looks like there has been actual content during my haitus.

Woot and Doot for K5!


Your dollar is you only Word, the wrath of it your only fear. He who has an EAR to hear....

How It Went Down, a Play in One Act | 12 comments (9 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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