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Rocky Mountain High

By mitsu in Culture
Fri Mar 14, 2014 at 03:09:17 PM EST
Tags: Colorado, legal weed, marijuana, mary jane, pot, high, john denver (all tags)

(this story was written on Wednesday, March 12, 2014)

Here's the straight dope on legal dope:

  1. It's legal to get high in Colorado, I will tell you how I did it.

  2. Legal marijuana is the same price as black market marijuana.

  3. Some things I used to do before legal marijuana that I don't have to do any more.

  4. The buzz for legal marijuana is pleasant. More on that.

So I sampled the legal weed here in Colorado just now. I smoked outside the motel room on the first floor while a bunch of people walked by, much like Bong Boy from the first episode of Upright Citizens Brigade, an old sketch show on Comedy Central in the late 90's. Nobody said anything. So far no cops have shown up. I was wearing a dark hoodie, dark sunglasses, and I have a beard. In fact, a hippy girl I talked to at a bus stop earlier today told me that I should just smoke in public as long as there are no kids around.

It sounded like a good idea to me. Just smoking weed at high noon and people watching. Rocky Mountain Fucking High. Sweet.

While I was smoking I even said hi to one person and she said hi back. Where I'm from in the Midwest this wouldn't happen in most of the conservative parts of the city/suburbs, and I would most probably get busted smoking herb in front of strangers. However, in the downtown area of my city I've seen many a homeless bum smoking a joint on the courthouse steps, so there is that. I wanted to get high, and I just don't care (that much). Still I was nervous because I have never really smoked in broad daylight in front of a bunch of strangers on the sidewalk. But fuck it. If I have to pay the fine or whatever, whatever. So far no cops have shown up, lol. Did I already type that? Jesus, I'm high. I have already at this point had to edit and re-type this much of the story because of the many copy errors I've made so far due to how stoned I am.

So earlier in the day I called the shop and got directions. I had to call because they had no website or google listing. I had to find their number and address on a shitty third party weed map site. The place was located near a wal-mart in a non-descript part of town, and I hopped on the bus over there. I walked into the store and chatted with the guy briefly. I told him I was experiencing a bit of nausea due to altitude sickness, so he recommended a 90/100 sativa named REDACTED. I didn't get carded or anything. I ordered an eighth (3.5 grams) of the bud dude recommended. It cost 60 bucks, and there was also quite a big tax on it. I also bought a small bowl to smoke with.

All told the weed, bowl and tax came out to 93 bucks. The whole time I spent in the store was maybe 5 or 6 minutes. I chatted with the guy briefly about legalization and we both agreed a lot of old people have to die in the next few years before more progress can be made. The weed itself was put in an unlabeled pill bottle with the name of the strain written on the lid. All of this was put in a white plastic courier bag, which had a paragraph long legal disclaimer labeled on it. After I left the store I walked back to the wal-mart to buy a lighter. I then caught the bus back to the motel.

It has never in my life been that easy for me to go through the motions of actually purchasing pot. Sure, the occasional random stranger in the parking lot of a mall has smoked me out with a joint before, but that's pretty rare. I could write a book containing the many stories of the sometimes ridiculous lengths my friends and I have gone to in order to acquire pot when we've been dry. Like the one time my friend and I were in LA with another dude from his school. We went to a parking lot of a Ralph's grocery store and my friend's friend (a tall, black guy named Charles) went around just straight up asking only every black guy walking into the store if he was holding. I could go on, but for the sake of brevity I won't.

The price is a bit disappointing though. Shouldn't legal bud be cheaper than black market bud? I certainly think so. Back home I can regularly get that much for 45 to 55 dollars a pop. Only once in a while do I spend 60. Anyway, I wanted to buy an eighth so I could say I got that much, because what kind of stoner buys a mere gram when he's on vacation?

When I got back to my room I packed a bowl and took some pictures of my stash. I then smoked, like I said I think around noon. I took some pretty deep hits. I hadn't smoked since Friday, so my tolerance may have dropped down a touch. I then proceeded back to my room, attempted to configure my phone as a wifi hotspot with a workaround app rather than paying the cell carrier's ridiculous subscription fees, created an anonymous imgur account, and uploaded 4 photos. Right now it is just 2 pm. At first, right after I smoked, I didn't think I was all that high. But not soon after I felt a nice head high and then proceeded to attempt to do all the previously mentioned things necessary to post this story (this dinky motel's wifi is totally unsecured, which is a no go for me). But I was so high that writing this short bit of copy and doing a few simple tasks with my phone and computer actually became pretty difficult.

The buzz itself is a nice heady sativa buzz, a good daytime strain, for when you want to feel awake and active. Indicas, on the other hand, are more for the body buzz type of pain relief and can cause some drowsiness. I didn't smoke that much, and I am a fairly veteran and hardcore smoker at this point, but I'm still pretty buzzed and feeling good. The nausea has been calmed.

Overall a good buzz. But I've had better stuff from my home state, and that's done underground, with less resources, etc. In fact, the hippy girl I talked to warned me before I smoked that she could get better bud grown back in her home town. She compared the quality of the legal dispensary bud right now to outdoor illegal Cali bud. Indeed she was correct. Would I do it again? Of course, because if I'm out of town I am not really in for just asking random strangers for weed. Walking into a store for 5 minutes and grabbing a bag seems way easier and much less illegal.

2 22 now and it's starting to wear off. Coherence is gradually returning. I guess now is a good time to walk around town for a bit and grab a bite to eat. Peace.


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legal weed
o dope 14%
o pretty dope 14%
o so dope 28%
o totally sick 0%
o i've never smoked weed 0%
o i smoke all the time and get it just as easy. 0%
o should be legal 57%
o should stay illegal 42%
o fuck the police 42%
o WIPO 0%

Votes: 7
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Google
o some pictures
o Also by mitsu

Display: Sort:
Rocky Mountain High | 20 comments (13 topical, 7 editorial, 0 hidden)
well (2.50 / 2) (#3)
by d0ink on Wed Mar 12, 2014 at 06:17:52 PM EST

Shouldn't legal bud be cheaper than black market bud? I certainly think so.

here's one reason illegal weed could be cheaper: think of it like a risk premium that benefits the buyer; the seller is more likely to move his stuff at a lower price to take it off his hands faster and decrease the chance of getting arrested.  one way of looking at it anyway

also, i heard Colorado is making almost as much off weed taxes as the do off booze taxes.  they got a good thing g(r)owing i think hehe

That's not an unreasonable theory (none / 0) (#7)
by mitsu on Wed Mar 12, 2014 at 10:08:26 PM EST

I think one big factor for the high prices in Colorado is the state's high median income and the fact that tourism is an 18 billion dollar per year industry here. They know they can charge these tourists whatever and while the shops are not co-ordinating directly they are most certainly colluding to keep prices high.

[ Parent ]
now that (none / 1) (#8)
by d0ink on Wed Mar 12, 2014 at 11:28:09 PM EST

you mention it, there's probly money to be made by crafty dealers out to fleece out-of-towners who think legal weed means you can buy it from anyone.

i guess not everyone hates a tourist then lol

[ Parent ]

its 60/eighth in cali too. (none / 1) (#10)
by nateo on Wed Mar 12, 2014 at 11:45:36 PM EST

seems to be pretty standard, guessing that's what the market is generally willing to pay and some mother fuckers are making fat stacks because of it.

in a few years pfizer and philip morris will put all these rookies out of business though.  street price will stay stable and then they'll be making all the cash.

"I'm so gonna travel the world, photographing my dick at every location."
  - Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi
[ Parent ]

They won't be rookies forever. Also Colorado law (none / 0) (#11)
by mitsu on Thu Mar 13, 2014 at 12:18:41 AM EST

requires dispensaries to grow a large percentage of the bud they sell. The market is regulated to be vertically integrated. I'm sure those cunts will find a way to buy their way in of course.

[ Parent ]
omg d00d (none / 1) (#9)
by d0ink on Wed Mar 12, 2014 at 11:35:08 PM EST

think how funny anti-smurfing PSAs would be: "you wouldn't bogart your buddy's last joint... don't hoard our legal weed!"

[ Parent ]
And anyway, $65 for 1/8 is the usual price (none / 1) (#19)
by ksandstr on Fri Mar 14, 2014 at 12:32:26 PM EST

Has been for a good five, six years. That's what it costs illegally, too. If anything the price has come down because of inflation, assuming everyone gets an inflation-exceeding raise ahead of time.

The benefit of legal weed isn't price. That was established by competition on the illegal market already. If anything the latter will keep the former at around there rather than climbing with rising back-end expenses. However, the legal shit can be safely presumed grown (and refined where applicable) by professionals, i.e. not stupid hippies.

Bet there's no gritweed in Colorado right now.

[ Parent ]

that's a safe bet (none / 0) (#20)
by mitsu on Fri Mar 14, 2014 at 12:45:06 PM EST

there's certainly mexican brick weed in my home state. and it sucks.

[ Parent ]
thanks for the review (2.66 / 3) (#15)
by nostalgiphile on Thu Mar 13, 2014 at 06:19:08 AM EST

I'll actually bare/bear this in mind if I ever get to the Mile High State. Weed reviews are what K5 should be all about but you know, current bunch of faggits aint worthadamn.

Oh, what about COST?

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler

store I was at it was 22 bucks a gram or 60 dollar (none / 1) (#16)
by mitsu on Thu Mar 13, 2014 at 11:39:07 AM EST

for 3.5 grams. 13 dollars in tax for 60 dollars of herb. State sales tax and a special weed tax apply.

[ Parent ]
you could also buy individual joints for 16 bucks (none / 1) (#17)
by mitsu on Thu Mar 13, 2014 at 03:49:09 PM EST

plus tax.

they had all kinds of ratios between indicas and sativas, pretty evenly distributed. they also sold pen vapes for hash oil but i don't think they were selling hash oil.

but hash oil isn't all that hard to make if you know what you're doing.

[ Parent ]

There's a legalization push in DC, (none / 1) (#21)
by claes on Thu Jul 10, 2014 at 08:44:20 PM EST

not that they'll make any progress, but we were talking about what we'd do if they actually did legalize it. I dunno, I might be too old for it.

Seems pretty expensive, but that's comparing prices from 40 years back. How much of your eighth did you end up going through for an afternoon of being stoned? Sounds like it's less cost-effective than beer (but less calories, so that's got to count for something).

Anyhow, it's kind of strange that as politics gets stupider in DC there's progress being made on the pot and gay marriage fronts.

Update: old fart was wrong about no progress! (none / 1) (#22)
by Edmund Blackadder on Tue Nov 18, 2014 at 07:44:30 PM EST

Hi! I fail at basic sig technology! En plus, je suis pédé! - smegko
[ Parent ]
Rocky Mountain High | 20 comments (13 topical, 7 editorial, 0 hidden)
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