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[P]
kitten: The Text Adventure

By Pentashagon in Fiction
Mon Mar 15, 2010 at 09:32:46 AM EST
Tags: horsecock, kitten (all tags)

Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.

You can: snort cocaine


























































































You snort the cocaine.

Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.
You have a high.

You can: snort cocaine, wait























































































Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.
You have no high.

You can: snort cocaine























































































You snort the cocaine.

Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.
You have a high.

You can: snort cocaine, wait























































































Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.
You have no high.

You can: snort cocaine























































































You snort the cocaine.

Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.
You have a high.
You have a headache.

You can: snort cocaine, wait























































































Location: Party

You are at a great party. There are lots of people milling about. It is a
lot of fun.

You see several lines of cocaine here.
You have no high.
You have a headache.

You can: snort cocaine























































































You snort the cocaine.

Location: Party

You are at a great party. You do not feel well. Your headache is
pounding and the room is beginning to pound along with your headache. Dust
sifts down from the ceiling. The walls begin to shake. Suddenly a large crack
appears in the floor, and then another and another. With a horrible splintering
noise the entire floor collapses and you find yourself plummeting down a rough
obsidian tunnel deep into the earth...

Continue













































































You regain consciousness.

Location: Sharp volcanic rock cave

You are in a small cave. A small tunnel rises into the distance above you,
its rough glassy walls much too uncomfortable to climb. The floor is quite
uncomfortable. The walls look uncomfortable. It is quite warm here. To the
north is a shallow lake of molten sulfur, with flames of sulfur dioxide roaring
into the air from its surface.

There is something splashing in the lake.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: go north, wait























































































Location: Sharp volcanic rock cave

You are in a small cave. A small tunnel rises into the distance above you,
its rough glassy walls much too uncomfortable to climb. The floor is quite
uncomfortable. The walls look uncomfortable. It is quite warm here. To the
north is a shallow lake of molten sulfur, with flames of sulfur dioxide roaring
into the air from its surface.

There is something splashing in the lake.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: go north, wait























































































Location: Lake of molten sulfur

You are in a molten lake of sulfur. The entire surface is on fire. It is quite
warm here. To the south you can make out a small cave through the roaring
inferno coming from the surface of the lake. To the east a gigantic sculpture
towers into the air. To the north is a sheer wall of some sort. To the west a
series of electrical arcs continually play across the cavern wall. Above you
stretches a high cavern roof, charred yellow from the sulfurous fumes.

There is a man here hiking through the lake.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: talk to the man, go south, go east, go north, go west
























































































The man is too busy hiking and writhing in agony to talk to you right now.

Location: Lake of molten sulfur

You are in a molten lake of sulfur. The entire surface is on fire. It is quite
warm here. To the south you can make out a small cave through the roaring
inferno coming from the surface of the lake. To the east a gigantic sculpture
towers into the air. To the north is a sheer wall of some sort. To the west a
series of electrical arcs continually play across the cavern wall. Above you
stretches a high cavern roof, charred yellow from the sulfurous fumes.

There is a man here hiking through the lake.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: talk to the man, go south, go east, go north, go west
























































































Location: Large 7-dimensional sphere

You are beneath a huge sphere which stretches to the cavern roof in three
dimensions and indefinitely in the other four. On its surface simple statements
are inscribed whose truth or falsehood are easily decidable.
It is quite warm here.

There is a man here being crushed by the sphere.
You are being crushed by the sphere and writhing in agony.

You can: read the sphere, talk to the man, go west
























































































Inscribed on the sphere in beautiful flowing script is the word "horsecock."

Location: Large 7-dimensional sphere

You are beneath a huge sphere which stretches to the cavern roof in three
dimensions and indefinitely in the other four. On its surface simple statements
are inscribed whose truth or falsehood are easily decidable.
It is quite warm here.

There is a man here being crushed by the sphere.
You are being crushed by the sphere and writhing in agony.

You can: read the sphere, talk to the man, go west
























































































The man is busy being crushed by the sphere and can't talk to you right now.

Location: Large 7-dimensional sphere

You are beneath a huge sphere which stretches to the cavern roof in three
dimensions and indefinitely in the other four. On its surface simple statements
are inscribed whose truth or falsehood are easily decidable.
It is quite warm here.

There is a man here being crushed by the sphere.
You are being crushed by the sphere and writhing in agony.

You can: read the sphere, talk to the man, go west
























































































Location: Music library

You are standing in front of an infinite library of music. A bored looking
frog is fiddling with some sound reproduction equipment in front of the library.
It is quite warm here.

There is a frog DJ waiting patiently here.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: talk to the frog, examine the library, go south

























































































The musical library is truly astonishing. It stretches from one side of the
cavern to the other, and from its sharp floor to its charred ceiling. Simple
controls allow it to be panned in four directions to access any CD from its
infinite surface. From casual examiniation, it appears to contain an
infinite number of copies of the same CD. On the cover of each CD is the exact
same geometrical pattern.

Location: Music library

You are standing in front of an infinite library of music. A bored looking
frog is fiddling with some sound reproduction equipment in front of the library.
It is quite warm here.

There is a frog DJ waiting patiently here.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: talk to the frog, examine the library, go south

























































































"Rippit," says the frog.

Location: Music library

You are standing in front of an infinite library of music. A bored looking
frog is fiddling with some sound reproduction equipment in front of the library.
It is quite warm here.

There is a frog DJ waiting patiently here.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: talk to the frog, examine the library, go south

























































































Location: Infernal server cavern

You are standing on the sharp, pointed obsidian floor of a server cavern.
Bright flashes of lightning arc between squirming strips of eel-flesh stretched
over a corroded copper framework which generates enough electricity to power a
a small dusty 1U server rackmounted on a wooden stretching-rack and held fast by
hideous thumbscrews. A single strand of multimode fiber dangles from the roof
far above and connects to the GBIC on the back of the server. The power cable
is frayed where it snags on the floor's jagged outcroppings, and there is a thin
whisp of smoke curling from the server's power supply. It is quite warm here.

There is a server here.
There is a power cord here.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: examine the server, pull the power cord, go east
























































































Corrosion has obscured the identity of this server. Doubtless it still serves
pages in the land of mortals far above.

Location: Infernal server cavern

You are standing on the sharp, pointed obsidian floor of a server cavern.
Bright flashes of lightning arc between squirming strips of eel-flesh stretched
over a corroded copper framework which generates enough electricity to power a
a small dusty 1U server rackmounted on a wooden stretching-rack and held fast by
hideous thumbscrews. A single strand of multimode fiber dangles from the roof
far above and connects to the GBIC on the back of the server. The power cable
is frayed where it snags on the floor's jagged outcroppings, and there is a thin
whisp of smoke curling from the server's power supply. It is quite warm here.

There is a server here.
There is a power cord here.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: examine the server, pull the power cord, go east
























































































You are about to put the server out of its misery when a small imp pops into
existence and prods you uncomfortably with a rusty pitchfork. It pops out of
existance as you back away.

Location: Infernal server cavern

You are standing on the sharp, pointed obsidian floor of a server cavern.
Bright flashes of lightning arc between squirming strips of eel-flesh stretched
over a corroded copper framework which generates enough electricity to power a
a small dusty 1U server rackmounted on a wooden stretching-rack and held fast by
hideous thumbscrews. A single strand of multimode fiber dangles from the roof
far above and connects to the GBIC on the back of the server. The power cable
is frayed where it snags on the floor's jagged outcroppings, and there is a thin
whisp of smoke curling from the server's power supply. It is quite warm here.

There is a server here.
There is a power cord here.
You are writhing in agony.

You can: examine the server, pull the power cord, go east
























































































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Login

Related Links
o snort cocaine
o snort cocaine [2]
o wait
o snort cocaine [3]
o wait [2]
o snort cocaine [4]
o wait [3]
o Continue
o go north
o wait [4]
o talk to the man
o go south
o go east
o go north [2]
o go west
o read the sphere
o talk to the man [2]
o go west [2]
o talk to the frog
o examine the library
o go south [2]
o examine the server
o pull the power cord
o go east [2]
o Also by Pentashagon


Display: Sort:
kitten: The Text Adventure | 36 comments (22 topical, 14 editorial, 0 hidden)
A Topical But True Comment (none / 1) (#1)
by Michael David Crawford on Fri Mar 12, 2010 at 06:52:03 PM EST

Someone I know attended a presentation when they were in high school, about why one should not partake of recreational drugs.

It seems this gentleman had torn his own eyeballs out with his bare hands, because The Devil spring out from a crack in the ground, then shook his pitchfork at him.



I appreciate this helpful input. (3.00 / 6) (#2)
by Pentashagon on Fri Mar 12, 2010 at 06:58:11 PM EST

Perhaps you'd like to help design a room with drug-induced eyeball ripping before it leaves editing?

[ Parent ]
I'll see what I can do. $ (none / 0) (#3)
by Michael David Crawford on Fri Mar 12, 2010 at 09:02:25 PM EST



[ Parent ]
Typical. $ (none / 0) (#36)
by Pentashagon on Tue Mar 19, 2013 at 01:45:56 PM EST



[ Parent ]
Do you know this guy (none / 0) (#13)
by levesque on Sat Mar 13, 2010 at 09:14:55 PM EST



[ Parent ]
PCP? (none / 0) (#24)
by Have A Nice Day on Mon Mar 15, 2010 at 03:24:03 AM EST

Because I know of nothing else that would do anything like that. Maybe crystal meth I s'pose

However I, personally, wouldn't class them as recreational drugs so much as just a really bad f'ckin idea.

--------------
Have A Nice Day may have reentered the building.
[ Parent ]
i know people bitch about k5 not allowing img tags (none / 1) (#5)
by nateo on Fri Mar 12, 2010 at 11:26:29 PM EST

but with the choose your own adventure format, there's a way around it

--
"I'm so gonna travel the world, photographing my dick at every location."
  - Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi
Who needs img tags when you have MMMe? $ (none / 1) (#7)
by Pentashagon on Sat Mar 13, 2010 at 01:46:38 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Hi friend (3.00 / 5) (#8)
by schlouse on Sat Mar 13, 2010 at 05:17:08 AM EST

Pleas how to moderate submission

I ror'd (1.50 / 2) (#11)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Sat Mar 13, 2010 at 06:40:26 PM EST

+1FP


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
I now have a headache (3.00 / 3) (#14)
by tdillo on Sat Mar 13, 2010 at 09:43:49 PM EST

I think I will curl up in a sphere.

Cocaine, it's a helluva drug.

damn, nose bleeding again, . . .
HOLY FUCK DID YOU JUST SEE THAT!

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.


The library was Borgesian (none / 0) (#16)
by hugin on Sun Mar 14, 2010 at 04:04:39 AM EST

http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/library_of_babel.html

This is a clip that shows the Phantom makeup being applied to Michael Crawford as well as other behind-the-scenes footage as he prepares to perform on the Bob Hope Show. A must-have for any Crawford fan. Enjoy!

I wish it were longer. (none / 0) (#25)
by GhostOfTiber on Mon Mar 15, 2010 at 09:40:17 AM EST


[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

"thats what she said" (3.00 / 2) (#26)
by blackbart on Mon Mar 15, 2010 at 11:33:44 AM EST

or alternatively, "kitten did too"

"I use this dupe for modbombing and impersonating a highly paid government worker"
- army of phred
[ Parent ]

Me too. (none / 0) (#27)
by Pentashagon on Mon Mar 15, 2010 at 12:04:06 PM EST

I think a huge pile of pure cocaine that caused no effect would have been a good addition.  Next time someone dies...

[ Parent ]
Prod prod (3.00 / 2) (#28)
by rusty on Tue Mar 16, 2010 at 08:05:25 AM EST

I loled, against my own better judgment.

____
Not the real rusty
Disappointment Sir (none / 0) (#33)
by me0w on Wed Mar 24, 2010 at 08:41:53 PM EST

:(


"The only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."
[ Parent ]

lol excellent (none / 0) (#30)
by lostincali on Wed Mar 17, 2010 at 07:52:48 PM EST

truly a shame that i was not around to provide my +1 FP.

"The least busy day [at McDonalds] is Monday, and then sales increase throughout the week, I guess as enthusiasm for life dwindles."

Craftsmanship.... (none / 0) (#31)
by k31 on Sun Mar 21, 2010 at 06:41:08 PM EST

Sometimes people do things that took so long to do, and do them so well, that you just have to admire them.

Or troll them, but, I'm of medium height, so I'll still to admiration (i.e. trolls are either half-dwarven, like Orcs, or tall, like in that movie).


Your dollar is you only Word, the wrath of it your only fear. He who has an EAR to hear....

This took 3 hours. $ (none / 0) (#32)
by Pentashagon on Mon Mar 22, 2010 at 01:11:38 PM EST



[ Parent ]
cocaine is just god's way (3.00 / 2) (#34)
by Tjalfi on Mon Mar 29, 2010 at 12:59:02 AM EST

of telling you you have too much money

Great (3.00 / 2) (#35)
by livus on Wed Mar 31, 2010 at 04:13:56 AM EST

quality content. I liked this.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

kitten: The Text Adventure | 36 comments (22 topical, 14 editorial, 0 hidden)
Display: Sort:

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