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[P]
Michael Calls Lucy

By messybuu in Fiction
Fri Sep 09, 2011 at 12:44:39 AM EST
Tags: Warp Life, Strippers, Conversations, Delusions, Soon to be Nonfiction (all tags)

Not one person on the bus could avert his eyes from Michael's massive member as it strained the seams of his chinos, but his own eyes were affixed to the cocktail napkin graced with the phone number of Lucy, his new friend from the Pink Poodle. After weeks of conversation in which Michael detailed his glorious past, he finally developed the courage to ask her for her number. Not only did she write down her number, but she even drew a heart next to her name. Clearly she found him attractive, and why shouldn't she? He was a successful developer and talented keyboardist, and though she was but a college dropout forced into the cruel world of stripping, she was unique among her peers in that she had intelligence. While his so-called friends criticized his every action, she saw the genius of his work. "Those ignorant mother fuckers are going to feel like fools when I tell them this!" he shouted to nobody in particular.


The bus finally made its stop near the Denny's. Though it was across the city, it was superior to the one he used to patronize for the simple reason that he was still welcome at it.<p>
"Hi, welcome to Denny's!" Jenny, a petite, peppy blonde in her twenties, said. "Just one for the evening?"<p>
"Hi, Jenny!" Michael beamed. "What'd you think of my CD?"<p>
"Oh," Jenny hesitated as she forcibly widened her smile. "I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet."<p>
"Here's another one to give to a friend."<p>
"Thanks," she muttered as she shoved it into the depths of her apron pocket.<p>
Crawford sat in a booth, crouched over. The head of his erection rubbed against his stomach as he dialed Lucy's number into his phone. "9-7-6," he uttered. "7-3-9-8-2-5-5." He moaned as the phone rang.<p>
"Welcome to Sex Talk Hotline," the soothing female voice on the other said.<p>
"Hi, Lucy?"<p>
"This service will cost you $2.99 for the first minute and 99 cents for each minute afterward." Michael entered in all the details the attractive woman asked and spent the next five minutes being connected to various women.<p>
"Hi, who is this?" a sultry voice asked. It was Lucy! He was sure of it this time!<p>
"Lucy? Is this Lucy?" Crawford panted.<p>
"Yes, I'm Lucy. And who is this sexy stud?"<p>
"It's Michael."<p>
"Mmm, Michael," Lucy moaned. "That's a sexy name. What are you wearing Michael?"<p>
"Same thing I was wearing at the club last night, chinos and all."<p>
"Oh, that Michael! Of course. How are you doing, Michael?"<p>
"Wonderful now that I'm hearing your voice. Who were those other women? Your sisters?" Michael thought he heard a snicker.<p>
"Sure. So, what do you want to talk about Michael?" Lucy asked. Her voice lost its sensuality.<p>
"I just finished adding a new feature to Warp Life and I thought you'd like to hear all about it."<p>
"Of course. Tell me all about it." Michael started his story recounting his hour-long struggle to unlock his iPad. Lucy listened attentively, muttering a frequent "uh huh" and laughing at all his jokes.<p>
Thirty minutes later, Michael had nothing else to say, except for one question.<p>
"So, Lucy, I was thinking that you and me should go out to coffee sometime," he said.<p>
"That'd be wonderful," Lucy exclaimed, "but I'm pretty busy this whole week doing, uh, geek stuff."<p>
"Oh, I see." Michael's disappointment dripped through the telephone lines. Michael couldn't help but think that everybody else might've been right about her.<p>
"I'm sorry. I might have free time next week. Why don't you call me then?"<p>
"Really?" Michael ejaculated.<p>
"Yeah. I'd love to hear another story."<p>
"I will! Bye, Lucy! I love you!" Click. Michael tried to slip the phone into his pocket, but the orgasm possessed his body. It clanked against the table as his erection burst through the thin fabric of his pants and plastered the underside of the table with his spunk.<p>
Even being banned from another Denny's could not temper Michael's spirit that afternoon. As he sat at the bus stop, he logged into kuro5hin and spent the next two hours, missing every bus that stopped in that time, typing a diary entry that would vindicate him and prove all those fuckers, especially MollyMopDrive, wrong. Unfortunately, MobileSafari crashed before he could tap the Submit button, but even that didn't soften his boner.

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Michael Calls Lucy | 15 comments (11 topical, 4 editorial, 0 hidden)
so ZTD's is the copypasta? (none / 1) (#1)
by N0574 on Wed Sep 07, 2011 at 04:45:13 PM EST

guess I'll vote this one up then...

unless no one else comments.

You guys are going to comment aren't you?

Will there be a part 2?

- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL

Depends... (3.00 / 3) (#2)
by messybuu on Wed Sep 07, 2011 at 05:15:30 PM EST

on if ol' MC posts another batshit crazy/delued diary entry. Not sure of the chances of that.

Sent from Siri using my iPhone 4S. Buy one today!

Powered by the love of Christ.


[ Parent ]
CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR (2.25 / 4) (#3)
by Zombie Tyler Durden on Wed Sep 07, 2011 at 06:39:48 PM EST

CAN YOU FILL IN THE BLANKS BETWEEN CRAWFORD BLOWING HIS LOAD AND HIM GETTING BANNED FROM DENNY'S?

HERE I'LL START WITH SOME ROUGH IDEAS

Jenny shrieked when she saw the giant mess of semen dripping from the bottom of the table. Turning red, she turned away and scurried to get the manager.

The manager arrived and frowned at Michael. In a loud voice, he proclaimed, "This is a Denny's! You can't do that here!"

DroPPiN Da DeuCe HarDz Kkk0re
[ Parent ]

Yeah, he's seemed pretty mellow lately (none / 0) (#4)
by channel on Wed Sep 07, 2011 at 07:57:44 PM EST



[ Parent ]
killer drugs /nt (none / 0) (#9)
by N0574 on Thu Sep 08, 2011 at 04:10:38 AM EST



- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL
[ Parent ]
this was the best one yet (3.00 / 8) (#8)
by BottleRocket on Thu Sep 08, 2011 at 03:06:50 AM EST

I notice that you left paragraph tags in for that "pasta" look. Avant-garde.

$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
. ₩ . . . . . ¥ . . . . . € . . . . . § . . . . . £
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
. ₩ . . . . . ¥ . . . . . € . . . . . § . . . . . £
$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
$B R Σ III$

Then he reposted and got 1000 bites! (1.50 / 4) (#11)
by donnalee on Fri Sep 09, 2011 at 01:22:21 AM EST



---
Guess I'll be adding this to tomorrow's comment dump!
Have some decency, man! (2.00 / 3) (#12)
by Pnarp on Fri Sep 09, 2011 at 11:46:20 AM EST

Your <p> tags are hanging out where everyone can see them!

∼ Phillip Norbert Årp
Powered by the love of the voluptuous insect goddess, Strahazazhia Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps, She of the six-legged delights.


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   ❝It’s docile! It’s perfunctory! It’s phlogistically fantastical! But… is it one of those blog things?❞
    All wrights preserved. No purchase estuary. Lawn gnomes not included. You won’t be disconcerted. Deployed where prohibited by snore.

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[ Current entry | Random entry ]
Come for the porn (none / 0) (#13)
by thiswillbegreat on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 09:55:54 PM EST

Stay for the errant

tags.  A masterpiece.
Semper ubi sub ubi.
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Dang! (none / 0) (#14)
by thiswillbegreat on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 09:56:38 PM EST

Oops, make that '

' tags.
Semper ubi sub ubi.
sendgrid review best ipad 3 case best kindle fire hd case
[ Parent ]

It continues. (none / 0) (#15)
by thiswillbegreat on Thu Sep 22, 2011 at 09:57:25 PM EST

I could teach classes in how not to comment. <p> tags?
Semper ubi sub ubi.
sendgrid review best ipad 3 case best kindle fire hd case
[ Parent ]
Michael Calls Lucy | 15 comments (11 topical, 4 editorial, 0 hidden)
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