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Solution to the Borker Problem

By Del Griffith in Fiction
Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 11:43:31 AM EST
Tags: etc, sofware problem, solving the software problem, warplife, lol (all tags)
/etc

As you may know when I'm not manic, I work tirelessly to grandiose goals with no hope of fulfilling them.  Why just the other day while I was furriously masterbating at the #SALMONCREEK #STARBUCKS mens room, I temporarly lost vision as I came, and saw a vision.

It was G-d all mighty himself, and he commanded me to take care of the Borker* problem.

*by borker, I mean broker, but I can't bring myself to call them by their actual names.


As you may know countless brokers have made a good living off of my back by simply shuffling some paper.  Now I want me some piece of that action!

First the plan is like this



  • secure at least a mysql+php+RHEL4 box in at least 30 different nations to support froggjob


  • tap morally inflexible for a mysql/php cluster running RHEL4 or equivalent for main US operations


  • announce my own company with a CL like website so I can provide services GLOBALLY, in at least 30 languages ON LAUNCH DAY.


  • send out translated announcements to at least 10 news agencies in non US territories


  • send out my PR to every tv, print and radio station in the CONUS.  This includes english & spanish.   Enigma is a born and raised American citizen however Español Mexicano is her Mother Tongue.  My piano teacher in Vancouver BC is from Colombia and studied in France.  I have a friend from CERN who married a Castillian Spanish woman.


  • reach out to trane to have him write AI to detect certain ignorant motherfuckers, and give them the special treatment



You see my secret is to make a job finding service where I PERSONALLY READ ALL JOBS / RESUMES and match them.  The problem with todays systems is that it is either automated, and it misses shit, or is staffed by morons.  I will instead immerse myself as a human router as my fathers time in the NAVY has taught me that I can do a more effective job than any system.

But first I need to rest.

I've already passed my new manefesto to some hapless Burgerville waitresses, who seemed estatic enough to get me in touch with her manager.  They even let me stay late, although when I did leave, I did overhear them saying they were dismayed the police were too busy responding to legitimate 9-11 calls to come by and pick me up.

I fear the machine gun man, the Nigerians, Russian Malfia, and now the borkers themselves will not rest until I am caught up in their web.  But fear not, just like my world class web hosting platform (currently in a locked beta), The froggjob platform will see release as soon as the end of this week.

I have already made $20 from blowing a Starbucks barista, who in fact reads my site, to keep up on my hours.  I'll use this $20 to complete my infrastructure investment, so I can return to the streets, not as a mentally ill failure, but as a champion of the people.

IM PISSING MYSELF AS I WRITE THIS

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Poll
froggjob
o doomed to fail 46%
o it wont launch 61%
o doesn't matter 61%
o lol 46%
o lol 46%
o lol 38%
o could have had traction with joseph stack 38%
o doesn't matter 30%

Votes: 13
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Also by Del Griffith


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Solution to the Borker Problem | 10 comments (7 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
-1, double spaces after full stops (2.44 / 9) (#1)
by Jobst of Moravia on Wed Mar 05, 2014 at 10:44:08 PM EST


---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

yeah I know (3.00 / 2) (#3)
by Del Griffith on Thu Mar 06, 2014 at 03:52:02 AM EST

I just felt sad for him when I started to go into his comments to dig up his insanity and compare it to what he originally says...

like the oggfrog PR release on how it was a shipping product (RSN) and how people scoffed at him then, and how he released nothing because as your leak showed, it was unusable.

-------
I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me


wow (3.00 / 1) (#7)
by Del Griffith on Thu Mar 06, 2014 at 11:26:41 AM EST

and multilingual too.

-------
I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me


[ Parent ]

Fear not is the solution (none / 1) (#5)
by sye on Thu Mar 06, 2014 at 10:50:48 AM EST

to all human misery. sorry no better one is invented yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
commentary - For a better sye@K5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ripple me ~~> ~allthingsgo: gateway to Garden of Perfect Brightess in CNY/BTC/LTC/DRK
rubbing u ~~> ~procrasti: getaway to HE'LL
Hey! at least he was in a stable relationship. - procrasti
enter K5 via Blastar.in

alt.sex.doom.with.sound (3.00 / 1) (#12)
by Del Griffith on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 01:38:20 PM EST

Or something like that.

-------
I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me


Sounds genious (2.33 / 3) (#14)
by channel on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 11:56:19 PM EST

I see no problem with this plan.

Marriage is a divine rite. It was part of God's design when He created man. - Royal Martyr Empress Alexandra Fedorovna.
Good thing you've corrected (3.00 / 1) (#15)
by channel on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 11:59:42 PM EST

"Russian mafia" ("mafia" is of course an Italianate term) to "mob." Professional criminals are noted for their sensitivity to correct nomenclature.

Marriage is a divine rite. It was part of God's design when He created man. - Royal Martyr Empress Alexandra Fedorovna.
Solution to the Borker Problem | 10 comments (7 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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