Teenie Blogger (Teenoger)
Percentage of blogger population: 22%
Hours spent blogging: 28/week
Average Age: 12 (actual age doesn't matter as most of these bloggers tend to emulate a 12 year old.)
Favorite hangout: The mall
Last Book Read: What's a book?
Favorite Offline Activities: Gossip, boy bands, gossip about boy bands, boy bands about gossip.
Mode of Dress: Varies wildly, but you will notice it will have some brand name of some company predominantly displayed.
Psychological profile: ESFP
Typical post: 10/24/02 5:43 p.m. So, like today I was in the cafeteria talking about Shelly's stupid blog, ok, and then Josie like totally walked up in my face and said my blog was trash and I was like, noo way, talk to the blog, ya know, cause i'm cool and I don't play that. So anyway, I need to go eat dinner now. I'll blog on it later.
Techie Blogger (Togger)
Percentage of blogger population: 20%
Hours spent blogging: 56/week
Habitat: Usually a messy desk type area with lots of caffeine nearby. Techie Bloggers have been known to be nomads, though, with the advent of wireless internet technology. You may see them anywhere as a result, although most tend towards urban areas.
Average Age: 20 something
Favorite hangout: Slashdot
Last Book Read: Understanding the LINUX Kernel: From I/O Ports to Process Management
Favorite Offline Activities: Microsoft jokes, computer swap meets, hacker conventions.
Mode of Dress: Varies wildly, but you will usually notice at least one obscure reference to linux ruling and microsoft sucking.
Psychological profile: INTP
select extract('epoch' from now()) as unixtime; Recompiled the kernel from CVS today. Blech. While waiting for it to compile, I worked some on my project to turn GIMP into an auto-dynamic IP range modifier for my Sega Dreamcast box. The boxen are doing ok, but the 486 piece of crap is pulling too much juice and overheating so I'm thinking of rerouting the fan and mounting it inside my refrigerator. Yeah, yeah, I saw the /. article, but mine is going to be way cooler. More later, my Mac is beeping...
Trailer Blogger (Trogger)
Percentage of blogger population: .5%
Hours spent blogging: 25 minutes per week
Habitat: Trailer park. Sometimes a double-wide, sometimes just a pre-fab. Somehow a few AOL disks found their way into the 'park' and some people ended up signing up for the 1,000 free hours and managed to accidentally put a blog together. (come on, it's not that hard. Side note: What would happen if AOL gave everyone a free (so easy to use!) blog with their AOL discs?)
Average Age: 18
Favorite hangout: McDonalds
Last Book Read: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Beer
Favorite Offline Activities: Barbecues, drinking Pabst, harrassing the neighbors.
Mode of Dress: T-shirt and jeans with frayed ends.
Psychological profile: ESFJ
Typical post: Friday, October 2002 - Had to put the Chrysler up on blocks today. Thing is, I had to use the blocks from the Toyota because I was outta blocks and Tim across the way had no blocks either. I don't think they have a store that sells blocks, so I just took the blocks from uner the other car and now i have to find some blocks for that car. Not running, though, so I guess it's ok there with no wheels for now. I might be back next week to post .. hold on, sounds like Bob's at the door with some beer...
Blog Blogger (HasTooMuchTimer)
Percentage of blogger population: 12%
Hours spent blogging: 56/week
Habitat: Anywhere. This type of blogger is traditionally a nomad as well, always having a way to update their blog and get the latest bloggerific news on their cell, pda or pager.
Average Age: 22
Favorite hangout: Internet cafes so they can blog in real-time while interacting with other bloggers re: blogging.
Last Book Read: Essential Blogging
Favorite Offline Activities: Meeting other bloggers in real life to talk about blogs.
Mode of Dress: They change themes several times a day.
Psychological profile: ENTJ
Typical post:4:30:59 p.m. - Update to post below, bloggerific's blog is splitting into two separate blogs! Bloggerific indeed!!! Stay tuned for more...
4:30:45 p.m. - Nothing new yet, but I thought I'd blog it in case someone wandered by and wondered if I'd forgotten to blog the update or if there was any new news, which there isn't, but that's ok.
4:30:29 p.m. - No updates yet. waiting...
4:30:23 p.m. - Ok, here's the update to my previous update: bloggerific's blog has been moved from blogger.com to blogfodder.com, but he may be moving it back soon. I'll keep you updated.
War Blogger (Woggler)
Percentage of blogger population: 18%
Hours spent blogging: 40/week
Habitat: The warroom, of course.
Average Age: 46
Favorite hangout: The shooting range. NRA meetings. The woods.
Last Book Read: Fascism and Resistance in Portugal: Communists, Liberals and Military Dissidents in the Opposition to Salazar, 1941-1974
Favorite Offline Activities: Survival training for the coming apocalypse.
Mode of Dress: camouflage anything.
Psychological profile: ESTP
Typical post: 4:30:23 p.m. - Stupid right wing commie nuts like X and Y really upset me. This country was founded on the principle of guns and happiness or something, wasn't it? What's all this peace crap? We're the best. Love it or leave it. Semper Fi, my boy, never surrender!
Hippy Blogger (Bippy)
Percentage of blogger population: 2%
Hours spent blogging: 3/week
Habitat: Cute little bungalows in low rent districts across the U.S. with picket fences and groovy colored houses.
Average Age: 42
Favorite hangout: Wherever they are, they are.
Last Book Read: Leaves of Grass
Favorite Offline Activities: World peace, grooving, hanging, smoking the peace pipe.
Mode of Dress: Hemp anything (including under garments depending on how hardcore of a hippy they are.)
Psychological profile: INFP
Typical post: 4/20/02 at 4:20 - Whoa, dude, it's 420 on 420 that must be like some way groovy cat somewhere making it so synchronistic or something. Gotta go. Peace.
Goth Blogger (Glogger)
Percentage of blogger population: 5%
Hours spent blogging: 20/week
Habitat: Somewhere dark, with the shades drawn.
Average Age: 18
Favorite hangout: Coffin in the basement.
Last Book Read: Goth Chic: A Connoisseur's Guide to Dark Culture
Favorite Offline Activities: Crying, moping, staring off blankly into space.
Mode of Dress: Black anything (including undergarments and skin depending on how hardcore of a Goth they are.)
Psychological profile: INFJ
Typical post: x1/x1/x2 -- 3:20 a.m. - i want to die. why are there so many happy bright blogs out there? Why do none of my questions get answered? Why does no one leave comments? Why do I even try anymore? Here is some poetry about my situation.
The rain is raining,
Falling into place.
Like a small community,
Running down my face.
Percentage of blogger population: 19%
Hours spent blogging: 52/week
Habitat: A room. Somewhere.
Average Age: 26
Favorite hangout: Library
Last Book Read: Mining the Web: Analysis of Hypertext and Semi Structured Data
Favorite Offline Activities: Thinking of new linking areas to get into.
Mode of Dress: Lots of zippers. Not sure why on this one, but lots and lots of zippers.
Psychological profile: INTJ
Typical post: post #3455686869-a: Just found a site here, here, and here, regarding what I posted a couple hours ago regarding this. I'll post more links later!
Yes, I'm aware I haven't accounted for the full range of bloggers out there. Some are quite elusive and hard to classify.
Thanks to ennui for the idea for this piece.
Also, I have nothing against people who live in trailer parks. Sometimes they're the best people there are. I'm pretty sure the Beulah blog above is just a parody and not a real blog. I haven't emailed anyone on it, though, so who knows.
Finally, please go to Amazon.com and do a book search for Blogs (I couldn't get a link to work.) Here's what I got: "We found no matches for blogs. Below are results for blows." Is that funny? Well, to me a maybe a little. ;)