It is funny to see women try to re-create man in their own image. We are men, not women. And, to try to treat us like we are your puppet doesn't work. No matter how much you try to brow-beat us with your lesbio-feminism, the fact is we are and always will be males. And in marriage, we respond VERY well to ONE thing especially.
I remember in my miserable marriage, that my arctic wife would always refuse to do what I wanted in bed. The way she complained, you would think I was molesting a 6-year old, not trying to enjoy some time with a very adult wife. And, it comes as no great surprise, I was NEVER in love with her. Then, finally, she decided to give it a try, and be available, on a moment's notice for whatever I wanted. During that 45-minute period, I called on her three times, and only for a minute or so, (because once I knew I could get it ANY TIME, I didn't need it that bad, just like a dog who always has food in the dish is more secure.)and she did what I wanted.
By the end of the second time, having a wife who was what I wanted in bed, I was already falling in love, hard. I mean, hard and FAST. Plummeting is more the term for it. For the first time in our entire relationship.
In that 45 minute period, plans for romantic things, FIRM plans for the chores around the house she was NEVER going to have to touch again, and getaways and gifts to give her were SPONTANEOUSLY floating through my mind. I wasn't trying to fall in love, I just WAS. I guess I stopped short of planning a throne for her to sit on, but not much short of it.
It was really that easy. Then, she said, after the third time: "I don't want to do this anymore". It was like a large, beautiful plate-glass mirror shattered. I knew then that the marriage really was doomed. And it was.
Young women, please, for the sake of your marriage, don't believe what the wrinkled old lesbians tell you. The ONE thing your husband can't legally or morally get ANYWHERE else is the thing that he really needs from you, and that is willingness and cheerfulness in bed. And the one thing you want, spontaneous romance, that you didn't have to beg, coerce, or nag for is what will spring from it.
What have you got to lose by being available for your husband? What, you think he will be LESS interested in you? He will take the garbage out LESS often? What have you got to lose? It's not like you will dry up from overuse or something. Give it a try. If it (coupled, as I say, with not being a naggy, critical bitch) doesn't make it easy to fall in love with you, then RUN AWAY!!! But, DO give it some time. Some husbands may take more than 45 minutes, like I did. For some, it may take a week before they don't think you have some hidden money-extracting or behavior-manipulating agenda. But, realistically, how much worse could your marriage get? You think great sex will make him a WORSE husband and father? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE???
Husbands admire and praise a good mother. They appreciate a good homemaker. But they will sell their soul for a wife who is, as Pamela Anderson said "a whore in the bedroom" Men don't run off with women who balance books really well. They run off with women who put out like a Diesel Locomotive on nitrous oxide at the flip of a switch.
You can't change it. You can't alter men's DNA so they will enjoy playing Scrabble more than having sex, ANY KIND OF SEX THEY WANT ANY TIME THEY WANT IT with their wives. Forget it. Either become a true lesbian or start being a real woman. Because you aren't going to change the way men are.
And, if being available I mean, 24/7, for flirtation, fondling, sex, whatever, coupled with NOT being a mean-spirited critical selfish bitch doesn't create enough of an environment for him to change, dump him on his ass and find a man who still has balls. Divorce is the birth of MANY new lives.
But, forget about depriving a man of what he wants to control him or as a protest against his imperfection. You are only shooting yourself in the backside.
And, I know that in this age of women having bigger penises than men and all that there will be a fiery protest led by those who secretly hate men, and probably have some spineless lapdog as a mate, but, romance novels aren't filled with men who are spineless lapdogs. Because though controlling lesbian terrorists would like to believe it, it isn't true that you will have a man's devotion as deep as you could if you don't give him what he needs.
Want to keep him from scoping out the other women? Get your body into shape and USE it. You would be amazed how the other women drop off the radar when we have an absolutely uncompromising fantasy at home.
But, for those who refuse because they think men are like women, take it from a man who was married to the ice queen. Even a casual glance from some other woman in public is as enticing as a fifty-gallon drum of ice-cold Perrier is to a dehydrated desert nomad when your wife decides SHE will decide the whens and wheres (as in, never and nowhere if she could get away with it) of sex. I didn't fantsize about women I saw in public that gave me a friendly glance. I started to be magnetized spontaneously towards them. Unintentionally. I never did anything with it, never said hi, got a number, or even looked back much, because adultery is wrong, but, man, it was like a magnet in her was pulling at some iron in my gut, and that sucked.
Men do not remain in love as deeply as they could if the woman decides to be all feminazi and restrict the sex. Does he make you sleep in the street by a dumpster three nights a week because the other four days are the only time he is in the MOOD to support you? Would you like to have him lean casually against a post while you get mugged and beaten, because he "wasn't in the MOOD for confrontation" that day? So, why is it that you think you can dole out sex like Oliver Twist's boss doled out soup, and even have a shred of hope you will occupy all his waking fantasies? That type of woman is what occupies our nightmares, wakind and sleeping.
Married men find young, pretty women more attractive than they should because that woman looks on the OUTSIDE how they need their wife to look on the INSIDE.
You can rail against it, you can make your filthy-mouthed little cheap shots against it, but the wife's part is to provide greeeeat sex. If the man doesn't respond to that AND a woman who doesn't think she needs to run him like a lapdog, then dump him and find a real man. Life is too short to be spent with someone who has no use for his testicles.
Likewise, husbands, you are to be available 24/7 for the sexual AND romantic needs of your wife. That means, no eyeball-screwing the other women ESPECIALLY in your wife's presence. Honor her ESPECIALLY in the presence of others.
If you want to know how to respond to this newfound output from your wife, here is a suggestion: forget about being cool to your friends. If your friends matter more than your marriage, this is a great opportunity to cut those cleat-laces to them. Do stuff that you would just DIE if your buddies found out.
Write those dumb, but heartfelt verses. They don't have to rhyme. Sing a corny romance song under her window with a badly-strummed ukulele. Roses. Candies. Hour-long massages. Scented bubblebaths awaiting her. I mean, the ideas will come, but be bold enough to do them. Don't do anything that will cause her professional or public inconvenience or humiliation. But DO do things that other women she knows can see are visible manifestations of devotion. AND LET HER KNOW THIS IS NOT A DOWNPAYMENT ON SEX. If she responds to being romanced by becoming even more cheap with the sex, or staying as cold as ever, dump her on HER ass and walk away. No use freezing your penis in some glacial crevasse. Better lonely and single than lonely and married.
Like I said once when I hoisted a post-divorce girlfriend over my shoulder with one arm ( I weighed about 2.2 times as much as her) like some conquering barbarian and walked out of the grocery store she usually frequented while pushing the cart with the other arm: "I didn't do that for MY sake. I did it for YOUR sake. You know there isn't ONE woman in there who was thinking, 'Boy, I wish no one would EVER do that to me'" THEN she understood. And had this cute grin on her face.
Have roses delivered. Or better yet, show up dressed like D'Artagnon and deliver them yourself, with fake accent and a poem. WHETHER YOU ARE IN THE MOOD OR NOT. MOOD IS IRRELEVANT. Would you only protect your wife from some guy (pick your most favorite type of guy to despise) was trying to feel her up if you happened not to wake up in the mood for confrontation that day? No? Then, protect your wife from feeling lonely and neglected, and wandering off into some dumb fantasy world like those infinitely idiotic Vespa radio commercials depict, and BE the romantic guy that she thinks about when she masturbates in the ladies' room at work.
Women are fueled by romance. Well, most women are. There are the mercenary prostitutes for whom nothing romantic is good enough if you don't have lotsa bank (enter the ice queen again), but normal, healthy, heterosexual women love it when it is sincere.
I know I just started a firestorm amongst the women who know they know more about what men want than men do, and among the men who bow down to the ice queens. But, that's okay. If I didn't help one person, I tried, and that is ALL I am responsible for.
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