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[P]
Confusingly titled meta story

By dr k in Meta
Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:54:48 AM EST
Tags: Kuro5hin.org (all tags)
Kuro5hin.org

Dramatic description of meta situation. Expressions of anguish. Falsely modest introductory disclaimer.

[editor's note, by cp] Editorial disclaiming official admin position on article.

Update [2001-5-31 18:27:27 by cp]: Update redundant with attached comments.


Detailed description of current situation. Terse and misleading analysis of non-exemplary item. Offer of hope.

Links to previous items. Veiled homage to administrative staff.

Controversial suggestion.

Pre-emptive defence of suggestion. Reiteration of premise.

Contrived example of applied suggestion:

Item in italics

Unintentionally ironic comment.

Item in italics

Forced attempt at humor.

Optional item in italics [structural]

Question? Disclaimer. Plea to the technological aristocracy.

Intelligent comment marred by typographical error. Extraneous suggestion.

Enthusiastic conclusion. Extraneous suggestion. Extraneous suggestion.

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Poll
Uninspired query?
o honest, unappealing response 2%
o honest, unappealing response 21%
o honest, unappealing response 15%
o "funny" response 18%
o optional "absurd" response 41%

Votes: 336
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o position
o attached comments
o Also by dr k


Display: Sort:
Confusingly titled meta story | 286 comments (251 topical, 35 editorial, 0 hidden)
Ladies and gentlemen... (3.92 / 13) (#2)
by Kugyou on Thu May 31, 2001 at 07:15:57 AM EST

Behold, the kuro5hin meta-complaint template. With this handy dandy structure chart, anyone can make bold and radical attacks on the K5 system without actually having to think about them! Oh, wait, this is derived from those attacks? My bad...

Still funny as hell. +1FP.
-----------------------------------------
Dust in the wind bores holes in mountains

OBLIGITORY TORLL!! (3.69 / 13) (#5)
by greyrat on Thu May 31, 2001 at 08:16:23 AM EST

<meta>including misspellings</meta>
~ ~ ~
Did I actually read the article? No. No I didn't.
"Watch out for me nobbystyles, Gromit!"

First 'we have nothing to worry about' post! (4.50 / 18) (#9)
by CaptainZornchugger on Thu May 31, 2001 at 09:29:57 AM EST

Personal attack on story's author.

Groveling admiration for admin staff.

Expression of disdain for meta-discussion.


Look at that chord structure. There's sadness in that chord structure.
Condescending disagreement (4.35 / 14) (#14)
by Pseudonym on Thu May 31, 2001 at 09:51:58 AM EST

Flame about grammar. Questioning of political leanings.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
Off the handle overreaction (4.73 / 15) (#15)
by CaptainZornchugger on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:00:06 AM EST

Defensive babbling about one's own educational level.

Half hearted attempt to turn antagonist's words on themself.

Misspelling of several great philosopher's names, followed by expression of horrible misunderstanding of their writings.

Veiled threat of possible moderation war.


Look at that chord structure. There's sadness in that chord structure.
[ Parent ]
Single word title with ellipsis (4.57 / 14) (#18)
by Pseudonym on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:21:43 AM EST

Flame-fuelled appeal to religious authority.

Gratuitous reference to that other weblog site.

Reiteration of old points for no real reason.

Incoherent nitpick over some minor technical issue, getting it completely wrong in the process.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
point by point refutation (4.80 / 15) (#21)
by CaptainZornchugger on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:32:18 AM EST

Flame-fuelled appeal

detailed rebuttal

to religious authority.

detailed rebuttal

Gratuitous reference to

detailed rebuttal

that other weblog site.

detailed rebuttal

Reiteration of old points for no real reason.

detailed rebuttal

Incoherent nitpick over some minor technical issue

detailed rebuttal

getting it completely wrong in the process.

detailed rebuttal

Completely unrelated conclusion

Smug claim of victory.


Look at that chord structure. There's sadness in that chord structure.
[ Parent ]
Qualified agreement with a small part (4.64 / 14) (#25)
by Pseudonym on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:42:27 AM EST

detailed rebuttal with some detail omitted
Reluctant concession of a point.

detailed rebuttal with the core part omitted
Questioning of mental capacity.

Ungrammatical paragraph left in due to hitting the "submit" button too early.

detailed rebuttal
Desperate search for a comparison to a historical figure which does not violate Godwin's Law.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
random smartass remark (4.50 / 6) (#112)
by h2odragon on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:54:08 AM EST

sarcastic congratulations on ya'lls mental prowess in long flowery overblown over verbose often redundant language with a subtext (which will be expressed directly as a conclusion anyway) that neither of you could possibly have anything more important or interesting to do with your time than spend hours composing these fine examples of "philisophical wanking" to each other.

...parenthetically italicized and oh so respectful musing on how either of you can bear to deny your respective academic fields the benefit of your respective wisdom...

[ Parent ]

Invokation of Goodwin's Law anyone (4.40 / 5) (#158)
by DontTreadOnMe on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:47:31 PM EST

Comment that allusions to historical figure are in fact transparent allusions to another historical figure named explicitly by Goodwin's Law.

Claim that parent post has therefor "lost" the discussion.


--
http://openflick.org - Fighting Copyright with Free Media
[ Parent ]

Diatribe against the stupidy of goodwin's law (4.40 / 5) (#159)
by DontTreadOnMe on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:52:36 PM EST

Diatribe on the intellectual and moral bankrupcy of inovoking goodwin's law.

Lament at the use of a tired, old joke to stifle converstation.

Long lament at the exclusion of a profound historical lesson by force of public pressure brought about by the general acceptance of Goodwin's Law.

Assertion of a vague right-wing conspiracy to deny certain historical events by using such pressures to preemptively edit references to such events from public discourse before the fact.
--
http://openflick.org - Fighting Copyright with Free Media
[ Parent ]

Incoherent rant-flame (4.50 / 2) (#214)
by Pseudonym on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:22:42 PM EST

Unnecessary flame about unfunniness of poster's jokes.

Dismissal of right-wing conspiracy as left-wing paranoia. Cheap shot at everyone who does not conform to own quite obscure political views.

Amused concern over how badly this long cascade is rendered on the main page.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
Tangential Speculation that Godwin... (none / 0) (#242)
by Monster on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 07:29:41 PM EST

...formulated his Law to stifle discussion of, and thereby cover up, his own sympathies for the very political philosophy he wishes not to discuss.

Neo-McCarthyist suggestion that anyone who invokes Godwin's Law, or defends it or him in any way, must therefore be a Fellow Traveler.

Completely out-of-context reference to percentage of popular vote received by most recent former US President compared to that garned by the Forbidden Historical Figure.

Incoherent incomplete sentences regarding 3 of:

  • NWO
  • Black Helicopters
  • The Real Truth about Waco & Ruby Ridge
  • Communist Chinese infiltration of US institutions.
  • FBI invention of crack.
  • Moon landing was a hoax.
but it's impossible from the context to tell for sure which 3.

.sig with Biblical quote, with explicit -KJV at the end, just to make sure you know that's the one God Himself wrote.
SVM, ERGO MONSTRO
[ Parent ]

Corrective Reply (none / 0) (#253)
by DontTreadOnMe on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 02:31:04 PM EST

FBI invention of crack.

Corrective reply noting that it was, in fact, the CIA, not the FBI, who invented crack and bore primary responsiblity for its distribution in American streets.

Continued aside into various and sundry tangental conspiracy theories, noting in particular the suspicious spread of AIDS during the Reagan/Bush era.

Obligatory semi-humorous derision of "Dubya" as stupid.

ObTopic: Some reference, unrelated to the above, but which would otherwise be on topic for the article in which the thread was posted.


--
http://openflick.org - Fighting Copyright with Free Media
[ Parent ]
Correction of Correction (none / 0) (#259)
by Monster on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 09:22:00 PM EST

Explanation that Agency involvement in crack is just part of Bureau disinformation plan to discredit Those Who Get Too Close To The Truth. (Parenthetical admitting layers-of-onion scenario in which Yet Another TLE is behind FBI story.)

Paranoid rant about possibility that poster of correction may be working for Them. (Pre-emptive deflection of charges of "flaming" invoking "perhaps unwittingly" to cover tracks.)

Speculation that current President is not stupid, but in fact pretends to be in order to disarm opponents. Implication that this makes him even more dangerous, as does his superficial alignment with "right-wing" politics to gain support of faction naturally disposed to Agenda.

(Aside linking his father's prior work as head of Agency and involvement in NWO... Infamous fraternity membership linked to same.)
Totally out-of-context ejaculation about current Senate realignment being part of show to entertain talking heads while real Plan remains obscured.


SVM, ERGO MONSTRO
[ Parent ]

Smug Correction (4.66 / 3) (#220)
by pwhysall on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 04:38:35 AM EST

Noting that it is Godwin, not Goodwin.
--
Peter
K5 Editors
I'm going to wager that the story keeps getting dumped because it is a steaming pile of badly formatted fool-meme.
CheeseBurgerBrown
[ Parent ]
Delayed correction to own post (4.54 / 11) (#27)
by Pseudonym on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:51:43 AM EST

Insincere apology about mistake in previous post. Feeble excuse as to why it may have happened.

The correction itself, introducing two more errors.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
Expression of exasperation (4.33 / 12) (#13)
by Pseudonym on Thu May 31, 2001 at 09:49:37 AM EST

Note that this has been done to death before. Pointer to previous discussion by K5 luminary.

Veiled personal insult for not knowing this.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
reply by author (4.55 / 9) (#76)
by dr k on Thu May 31, 2001 at 04:12:03 PM EST

Witty rejoinder. Obscure insult.

(Parenthetical thought.)
Destroy all trusted users!
[ Parent ]

Smackdown for no reason. (4.42 / 7) (#81)
by Foolish Assistant on Thu May 31, 2001 at 05:45:50 PM EST

Reference to link that has no relevance.

Lengthy but absolutely idiotic paragraph.

Inconclusive evidence of link between author and some obscure political group.

Adoption of said political group's ideals to author's arguments.

Condemnation of author because of ties to said political group.

Negation of relevance of author.

A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
[ Parent ]

smartass comeback (4.75 / 8) (#93)
by dr k on Thu May 31, 2001 at 07:23:10 PM EST

Seemingly self-deprecating remark, revealed to be sublime [in author's opinion] insult questioning opponent's genetic ancestry.

Cliche remark comparing audience with non-erect primate group.
Destroy all trusted users!
[ Parent ]

Retarded attempt to shoot down comeback. (4.50 / 6) (#116)
by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:36:52 AM EST

Flamethrower on so full that I end up flaming myself to a crisp.

A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
[ Parent ]

Editorial comment (4.60 / 15) (#16)
by slaytanic killer on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:08:10 AM EST

Conciliatory attitude

Slightly patronizing note of disdain

Vague aside that actually might be topical

  • Rigorous
    explanation

  • Complete
    with

  • Bulleted Lists
    as support.

    ----
    Conciliatory easing off of rigor.

    No sig

  • Note of exasperation... (4.64 / 17) (#17)
    by CaptainZornchugger on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:16:19 AM EST

    Flame for posting as topical instead of editorial.

    Questioning of parent poster's mental fortitude, penis size, and sexual orientation.


    Look at that chord structure. There's sadness in that chord structure.
    [ Parent ]
    Slapped wrist (4.50 / 8) (#110)
    by codemonkey_uk on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:16:55 AM EST

    Patronising condemnation of personal attack.

    Outrage at skill of moderators.

    Hypocritical personal attack(s).
    ---
    Thad
    "The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
    [ Parent ]

    offensive comment title (4.31 / 16) (#22)
    by ODiV on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:37:54 AM EST

    Personal attack on author based on past comments and voting habits.

    Suggestion of sexual relations with shoeboy.

    Invocation of Godwin's Law.

    --
    Witty sig.

    Uninformative Title (4.25 / 4) (#153)
    by Sairon on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:17:05 PM EST

    Copy and link to definition of "Goodwin's Law".

    Explanation that, per this definition, Goodwin's law cannot be purposely invoked.

    Line explaning that attempting to invoke Goodwin's Law is trolling, thereby feeding the troll.

    Unrelated complaint that nobody follow's standards and the net was better as text coming in over a 2400 baud. Gripe about missing BBS's. Gripe about Flash.

    Expression of sorrow that this is so far off-topic.

    Three-letter sig emulating RMS.

    [ Parent ]
    Obligatory F*CK Godwin Post! (4.50 / 4) (#169)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:40:29 PM EST

    Insult poster's ability to think.

    Accuse poster of "high-school" mentality, while using childish taunts to prove my point.

    Paragraph written on how wonderful I am.

    Smug condemnation of anyone that would dare invoke Godwin's Law.

    Stupid rant about the quality of K5.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    All K5ers are not USians (4.31 / 16) (#23)
    by hoops on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:38:22 AM EST

    Obligatory flame that all K5 readers do NOT live in the US.

    Hoops
    --Hoops
    If I were a koala bear, the first thing I would do is urinate all over you and bite you in the scrotum. - bri4n

    "USians" (4.50 / 6) (#61)
    by id10t on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:59:40 PM EST

    Obligatory objection to the use of the term "USians".

    Long, pointless, idiotic and obnoxious tirade on subject.

    Extremely foolish statement in defense of in-defensible point.

    More idiocy.

    Pointless Flamage.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    Extremely rude but obscure insult. (4.66 / 3) (#151)
    by kezdeth on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:03:02 PM EST

    Accusation that the author of the parent post is too US-centric.

    Flamage over the flames in the parent post.

    Trolling remark thrown in for no good reason.

    <no signature>

    [ Parent ]
    Vindictive retaliation (4.00 / 7) (#63)
    by Luke Francl on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:09:00 PM EST

    Vindictive promise to use "UKian" and "EUian" in retaliation.

    [ Parent ]
    Even worse... (3.83 / 6) (#94)
    by xriso on Thu May 31, 2001 at 07:31:53 PM EST

    Canadian!

    Ok ok, we all saw that coming.
    --
    *** Quits: xriso:#kuro5hin (Forever)
    [ Parent ]

    Desperate attempt to get a comment in... (4.40 / 15) (#24)
    by leviathan on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:40:35 AM EST

    ...before the article goes out of the queue (with continued title).

    Repetition of most popular points made above.

    Overuse of bold and italics to get attention.

    Half-hearted troll to garner some comments despite the odds.

    No original content.

    --
    I wish everyone was peaceful. Then I could take over the planet with a butter knife.
    - Dogbert

    Expression of wonderment (4.27 / 11) (#29)
    by Pseudonym on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:57:32 AM EST

    Disturbingly glowing praise heaped on that post.



    sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
    [ Parent ]
    complaint (4.33 / 9) (#30)
    by fvw on Thu May 31, 2001 at 11:01:49 AM EST

    Complaint that if you don't have any content to add you should just rate.

    [ Parent ]
    Picking holes (4.36 / 11) (#31)
    by leviathan on Thu May 31, 2001 at 11:10:45 AM EST

    Vague attempt to pick holes in your praise to make it look like we're not the same person. Inadvertently criticise my own post.

    Bluff.

    --
    I wish everyone was peaceful. Then I could take over the planet with a butter knife.
    - Dogbert
    [ Parent ]

    Interesting... (3.57 / 7) (#26)
    by jd on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:46:53 AM EST

    And how long have the pink elephants been telling you this?

    mami doesn't get it post (3.50 / 8) (#28)
    by mami on Thu May 31, 2001 at 10:53:05 AM EST

    running away to whine in her diary til she needs a fix and comes back, still not getting it.

    Title of the post (4.07 / 13) (#32)
    by electricbarbarella on Thu May 31, 2001 at 11:11:44 AM EST

    I suspect that perhaps someone has been listening to a lot of Da Vinci's Notebook, an a cappella group that did a song mocking the boybands in a format pretty much like this beautiful, beautiful post.
    Some lyrics from the chorus:

    Title of the song
    Naive expression of love
    Reluctance to accept that you are gone
    Request to turn back time
    And rectify my wrongs
    Repitition of the title of the song.

    I think the song is funny. I think your submission is funny. +1FP.

    -Andy Martin, Home of the Whopper.
    Not everything is quantifiable.
    i love you (2.00 / 2) (#230)
    by dleal on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 04:09:29 PM EST

    these guys are brilliant! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Will you marry me?

    Oh, wait... you're a guy. uh... please ignore the question...

    ...uhm... and the title of the post...

    ...we can still be friends, though...



    [ Parent ]
    Orthogonal comment (4.22 / 9) (#35)
    by cargogod on Thu May 31, 2001 at 11:40:20 AM EST

    Use of story as implausible support for irrational political opinion. Expression of that opinion yet again, cut-n-pasted from earlier comments. Once astride single hobby horse obsession, perform usual rodeo tricks.

    Posturing as pseudo-intellectual.

    Patently and pathetically fallacious obscure philosophical wanking as substitute for sex with another living human.

    Baselessly arrogant quote in signature.
    Sig^H^H^Htrhu^H^H^H^H

    A bunch of stuff... (4.28 / 7) (#38)
    by cargogod on Thu May 31, 2001 at 11:55:51 AM EST

    ... that I forgot to mention in my original comment, posted now as a comment to my comment under the utterly fantastic assumption that anyone else is actually going to read this far.

    Repetition of my point, assuming that I had one in the first place, couched in terms that initially trick the reader into thinking that I was about to contribute something new, for once.

    The same baselessly arrogant signature.

    [ Parent ]

    lame attack (4.16 / 6) (#42)
    by delmoi on Thu May 31, 2001 at 12:10:36 PM EST

    attempt to claim the commenter is posting post in multiple parts in an attempt to whore mojo.
    --
    "'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
    [ Parent ]
    Sputtering over-reaction (4.44 / 9) (#43)
    by cargogod on Thu May 31, 2001 at 12:13:58 PM EST

    Spittle-flinging hate-crazed response, approaching actual entertainment value for the first time in a while (but not reaching it).

    [ Parent ]
    Mild complaint (3.88 / 9) (#37)
    by weirdling on Thu May 31, 2001 at 11:52:17 AM EST

    Seems this is just one giant scheme to garner mojo. Oh, well, it's working...

    I'm not doing this again; last time no one believed it.
    Mojo Whore! (4.00 / 6) (#121)
    by xWakawaka on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:17:16 PM EST

    Irate assertion that a preceeding comment is just blatant mojo whoring.

    [ Parent ]
    Mojo Jojo (4.40 / 5) (#162)
    by aonifer on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:00:59 PM EST

    Comment about how k5 is becoming like "that other site."

    Suggestion of "easy" way to fix non-existing problem that would end up making k5 more like "that other site."

    Ignoring unintentional irony, create straw man argument to defense of fix.

    Self-congratulatory remark along with rebuke at site owners for not implementing this sooner.

    Suddenly realizing post has nothing to do with parent, create not-very-witty title that uses a word from parent.

    confusing signature

    [ Parent ]
    I would be inclined to agree (4.00 / 5) (#48)
    by goosedaemon on Thu May 31, 2001 at 12:59:45 PM EST

    But looking over past meta stories, several fail to meet these criteria.

    Astounding! (3.28 / 14) (#51)
    by Jin Wicked on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:13:01 PM EST

    Contrary to popular belief, there are in fact members of the k5 community who do possess a sense of humour.

    I am amazed.


    This post was probably not written by the real Jin Wicked. Please see user "butter pie" for Jin's actual posts.


    Flame (4.33 / 6) (#53)
    by CaptainZornchugger on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:24:30 PM EST

    More flame

    Much more flame

    More flame yet

    A final bit of flame.


    Look at that chord structure. There's sadness in that chord structure.
    [ Parent ]
    Break from style... (none / 0) (#264)
    by id10t on Tue Jun 05, 2001 at 12:09:00 AM EST

    Frankly, this parent post is, in my opinion, the funniest and most creative of the entire thread.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    tsk! (4.16 / 6) (#54)
    by Seumas on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:25:18 PM EST

    K5 is no place for humor! You keep that damned thing tucked away under that hat you bastard!
    --
    I just read K5 for the articles.
    [ Parent ]
    Sure they do... (3.60 / 5) (#56)
    by cei on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:37:25 PM EST

    So post it to Humor.

    -1

    [ Parent ]

    flame (4.20 / 5) (#66)
    by John Milton on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:17:04 PM EST

    Long flame on how we all don't read That Other Section!


    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    [ Parent ]
    Saving face (4.20 / 5) (#68)
    by John Milton on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:20:32 PM EST

    Apologises for posting real opinions.

    Pretends to have been writing personal web page in nifty K5 html previewer.

    Explains that they really should move the submit button.


    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    [ Parent ]
    + 1 FRONT PAGE (2.28 / 21) (#72)
    by Jin Wicked on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:44:06 PM EST

    THIS ARTICLE HAS RECEIVED THE OFFICIAL ENDORSEMENT OF FAMOUS K5 AUTHOR JIN WICKED. LET THE HUMOUROUS WANKING BEGIN.


    This post was probably not written by the real Jin Wicked. Please see user "butter pie" for Jin's actual posts.


    [ Parent ]
    notice of reversal of ratings (4.00 / 6) (#108)
    by delmoi on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:44:42 AM EST

    Explanation that the poster had seen the comment out of context, and therefore saw only hubris in the eyes of the venerated author

    Expressions of humble apology
    --
    "'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
    [ Parent ]
    Exasperated exhortation! (4.00 / 6) (#167)
    by mdxi on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:26:44 PM EST

    Self-righteous indulgent comment pointing out that author of parent comment has thrice failed to couch comments in appropriate meta-phraseology.

    Agreement with others about pointless mental wanking while contributing to same.

    --
    SYN SYN NAK
    [ Parent ]

    Jealous attack on bloated ego. (4.00 / 4) (#207)
    by inpHilltr8r on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:12:03 PM EST

    Observation that if the author were truly famous they wouldn't have to keep mentioning it.

    [ Parent ]
    Slavish upsuckage (4.28 / 7) (#65)
    by cargogod on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:14:57 PM EST

    Cringing, puppylike request to famous K5 author for more "Thing That I Do Not Comprehend Is Not Thing That I Did Not Define" stories to serve as olympic-scale comment wankathons, simply because the author posted a comment here and fired my trusty "Wank Opportunity" pattern-recognition neuron.



    [ Parent ]

    Expression of lamentation (4.50 / 6) (#69)
    by CaptainZornchugger on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:23:31 PM EST

    That I have but one five to bestow on parent comment.


    Look at that chord structure. There's sadness in that chord structure.
    [ Parent ]
    Why thanks. (3.50 / 8) (#70)
    by Jin Wicked on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:40:31 PM EST

    I'm so flattered you think I'm a famous k5 author. ;)


    This post was probably not written by the real Jin Wicked. Please see user "butter pie" for Jin's actual posts.


    [ Parent ]
    vague attempt at subtle gloating (4.50 / 6) (#107)
    by delmoi on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:41:10 AM EST

    A reminder that when it comes to Wank A Thons that This commenter's poorly reasoned story garnered 123 more comments then that made by the esteemed and venerated poster of the parent thread.

    Idle assertion that this may be the most commented upon story ever on k5.

    Hopes expressed that this humorous metameta article's satirical style allows the enimitble poster an opportunity to profess pride, without appearing inhumble.
    --
    "'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
    [ Parent ]
    Feeble attempt at humorous turn of phrase (4.33 / 6) (#132)
    by 0xdeadbeef on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:40:10 PM EST

    Mock arrogant troll for lack of cleverness and blindness to irony

    Chastize troll with air of moral authority (include obscure adjectives for extra credibility)

    *mod 1 out of bored spite*

    [ Parent ]
    Attempt to compliment damn funny story.. (4.00 / 3) (#224)
    by sparkane on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 11:43:47 AM EST

    ..compounded with attempt to retain ironic posture advocated by story's author and mimicked by K5 readership results in position of reflexive irony.

    Visible brain weakening of poster as he attempts to unravel the various ontological and literary conundrums brought about by complimenting an ironic story ironically.

    Having never attained his Piled higher and Deeper, poster expires.

    [ Parent ]

    Warning! (4.50 / 12) (#52)
    by error 404 on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:18:19 PM EST

    That this suggestion is a blatant call for censorhsip, and the worst attack on liberty ever contemplated.
    ..................................
    Electrical banana is bound to be the very next phase
    - Donovan

    Security Blanket Post (4.16 / 6) (#127)
    by Biff Cool on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:28:17 PM EST

    Suggestion that poster values certain liberties too much, and that security is a worthwhile trade.

    My ass. It's code, with pictures of fish attached. Get over it. --trhurler


    [ Parent ]
    Quote (none / 0) (#247)
    by kapital on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 06:40:23 AM EST

    Made-up quotation asserting that liberty is more important than security, attributed to random political figure from the American Revolution.

    [ Parent ]

    Angry Reply (none / 0) (#255)
    by RadiantMatrix on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 03:36:43 PM EST

    Assertion that made-up quote is valid. Profanity and insults to parent's author about author's parents. Vague, linkless reference to several sources that validate the quote, all of which occur on K5.

    Pointless gibberish salted with various profanity.

    --
    never put off until tomorrow what can be done the day after.
    Express Yourself

    [ Parent ]

    *yawn* (3.00 / 8) (#55)
    by Seumas on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:34:01 PM EST

    What's next? A diagram of a 'first post'?


    --
    I just read K5 for the articles.

    fp (4.28 / 7) (#64)
    by John Milton on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:09:52 PM EST

    I. FP
    II. Optional goatse.cx link.
    III. Optional "This one's for katie."
    Summary


    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    [ Parent ]
    Expression of greif to deity (5.00 / 2) (#257)
    by Zarniwoop on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 06:37:49 PM EST

    Note that list is incomplete.

    Wonderment at the "newbies" and veiled association to above author as such.

    Assertion that Natalie Portman should have been in list.

    Diatribe on superiority of Naked and Petrified when used in relation to the aformentioned subject.

    [ Parent ]
    misvoted (3.83 / 6) (#58)
    by wiredog on Thu May 31, 2001 at 01:40:21 PM EST

    Voted a when I meant to vote b.

    "Anything that's invented after you're 35 is against the natural order of things", Douglas Adams
    Compensation (4.50 / 6) (#80)
    by fluffy grue on Thu May 31, 2001 at 05:33:04 PM EST

    I voted b instead of my a.
    --
    "Is not a quine" is not a quine.
    I have a master's degree in science!

    [ Hug Your Trikuare ]
    [ Parent ]

    Okay, I'll be the one (3.66 / 6) (#62)
    by John Milton on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:06:11 PM EST

    PLEASE, DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!

    There. Now I feel dirty. I have to go shower.


    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    subject disguising vicious flame (4.37 / 8) (#71)
    by alprazolam on Thu May 31, 2001 at 02:40:53 PM EST

    Misleading, friendly intro sentence. Mention scoop feature request page. Suggest author submits idea there.

    Begin long winded rant of

    why

    this

    idea

    will never work

    Angrily point to old diary entry where Rusty addresses similiar problem. Flame author. Comment on current features being developed for scoop. Flame author. Comment on size of user base, reference other site

    Flame author.

    Unwarranted personal insult (4.42 / 7) (#85)
    by pavlos on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:03:25 PM EST

    Patronizing remark, followed by utterly unwarranted personal insult.

    Reference to perfectly reasonable sexual habits, however intended to cause offence.

    Claim that the author posesses more knowledge on the subject and, anyway, is tired of explaining it. Tagential remak that the other party is not in fact interested in learning anything.

    Signature, misspelled.

    [ Parent ]

    Non-sequitur (4.37 / 8) (#73)
    by mbrubeck on Thu May 31, 2001 at 03:04:45 PM EST

    Allusion to barely-related literary work.

    Spam! (4.50 / 6) (#91)
    by pavlos on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:48:18 PM EST

    Apparently relevant introductory sentence.

    Mention of the poster's employer and their highly unrealistic business model. Suggestion that readers should check it out.

    www.startup.com

    Other comment which, read between the lines, betrays their doomed position. Suggestion that poster is overworked.

    Boring techy sig

    [ Parent ]

    Obscure phrase from said work (4.40 / 5) (#150)
    by jabber on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:41:37 PM EST

    Several quotes from same work, by same author and from related sources in a pedantic attempt at inclusion into some sort of intelligentia inner sanctum.

    Whinny ass comment intended to mask deep insecurity which prompts *this post.

    -- sigline containing acronym denying the existance of a cabal.

    [ Parent ]

    Pedantry. (3.88 / 9) (#75)
    by Apuleius on Thu May 31, 2001 at 04:08:14 PM EST

    Excoriation of the failure to conform to the Backus-Naur Form for a K5 story.


    There is a time and a place for everything, and it's called college. (The South Park chef)
    Confused reply (4.33 / 6) (#136)
    by teeheehee on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:04:36 PM EST

    Questions about parent post and what they were getting at?

    IRC-like joke to make post of question not seem like newbie-related question.

    Exciting use of .sig in a sentence.

    Memoirs of Douglas Hofstadr (sp?) who wrote much on self-referencing sentences and stories, much like this sentence here.

    (Discordia) :: Hail Eris!
    Everything you've just read was poetry and art - no infringement!

    [ Parent ]
    Probably useless comment (4.14 / 7) (#77)
    by jazzido on Thu May 31, 2001 at 04:41:07 PM EST

    someone must take the article and make a script for the Dada Engine!

    ----
    "Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels" (Samuel Johnson)


    God damn you people suck (4.33 / 9) (#82)
    by psctsh on Thu May 31, 2001 at 05:47:59 PM EST

    After reading through all the responses (response?), the voice in my head keeps talking in the same jerky, stop 'n' go format.

    shut them up (4.37 / 8) (#84)
    by alprazolam on Thu May 31, 2001 at 05:57:33 PM EST

    drink beer.

    [ Parent ]
    Grammer corrections (3.87 / 8) (#86)
    by BobaFatt on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:06:53 PM EST

    Comment that should clearly be editorial. Several corrections of spelling, largely a result of diffference in country of origin, and one correct spelling changed to something else for no good reason. Parting shot that Aluminum is not a word dammit!

    Correction against correctee (4.40 / 5) (#134)
    by teeheehee on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:56:31 PM EST

    Point that grammar has two a's in it, and other useless stuff just to feel more self important.

    Usually a semi-demeaning comment meant to make parent poster feel wrong, or props backing them up, all depending on if personal beliefs coincide with parent poster (and/or original post).

    Optional emoticons.

    (Discordia) :: Hail Eris!
    Everything you've just read was poetry and art - no infringement!

    [ Parent ]
    Grammer corrections (4.44 / 9) (#87)
    by BobaFatt on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:07:09 PM EST

    Comment that should clearly be editorial.

    Several corrections of spelling, largely a result of diffference in country of origin, and one correct spelling changed to something else for no good reason.

    Parting shot that Aluminum is not a word dammit!

    Sarcastic rebutal (4.50 / 6) (#111)
    by codemonkey_uk on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:19:06 AM EST

    With links to dictionary.com
    ---
    Thad
    "The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
    [ Parent ]
    Admin replies that changes have been made (4.37 / 8) (#113)
    by driph on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 06:59:27 AM EST

    Replies that while the above comment should be editorial, admin has indeed corrected noted spelling and grammatical errors.

    Filler text to prevent comment from containing nothing more than "Fixed, thanks!" follows:

    Suggestion that further changes to text should be emailed to editors@kuro5hin.org.

    Humorous sentence about spelling differences and countries of origin, intended to end comment on a lighter note after admonishment in opening sentences.

    Name
    --
    "Something witty or clever" -- Author recently read

    [ Parent ]

    Comment on poster's signature. (4.40 / 5) (#135)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:03:53 PM EST

    Polite compliment about above poster's sig.

    Attempt to insult poster's intelligence to prevent accusations of "gay-ness".

    Idiotic attempt to mimick poster's signature.

    End with same old signature as usual:

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Angry Flame from site founder! (4.69 / 26) (#88)
    by rusty on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:09:14 PM EST

    Castigation of entire community for not voting the way I vote! Shock, horror, and despair at perceived mockery. Oversensitivity and total lack of recognition of humor.

    Doubts of continued validity of K5 experiment. Thoughts of superiority of dictatorship backed by Total Force. Questions of emotional maturity of readership.

    Depressed whinging.

    ____
    Not the real rusty

    Reversal, after consideration (4.95 / 20) (#89)
    by rusty on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:12:40 PM EST

    Concession, upon re-reading, that own subjectivity got in way. Sheepish embarrassment at own myopia and humorlessness. Recognition that self-mockery indicates healthy attitude. Deep desire to remove parent comment, blocked by ethical qualms. Reassertion that I should not be allowed to post, ever.

    Cheerful closing line.

    (Parenthetical promise of exciting new feature coming soon!)

    ____
    Not the real rusty
    [ Parent ]

    Sycophantic reply (4.25 / 8) (#118)
    by codemonkey_uk on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:40:28 AM EST

    Personal reassurance. Generic praise of site. Attempted humour. Enthusiasm for exciting new feature, with caveat.
    ---
    Thad
    "The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
    [ Parent ]
    Pedantic correction with cultural elitism (4.28 / 7) (#124)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:21:31 PM EST

    True but uncalled-for observation that the content of previous post does not correspond to dictionary definition of qualifier in title.

    Amusing historical account of the etymology of the term.

    Bogous implication that the posters own cultural background somehow qualifies them as experts on terms originating from a certain language.

    Minimal signature

    [ Parent ]

    Spelling flame! (4.42 / 7) (#137)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:06:48 PM EST

    Flame parent's poster for bad spelling and grammar while making as many spelling and grammatical mistakes as possible.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Apology. (4.42 / 7) (#138)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:08:58 PM EST

    Apology for poor spelling and grammar in parent.

    Self-deprecating remark.

    Insult to original author.

    Complaints about poor schooling.

    Totally useless comment on the weather.

    Tell everyone how late it is, as if that is a valid excuse.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Responding Flame from user (4.63 / 11) (#123)
    by Biff Cool on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:20:44 PM EST

    Inflammatory statement about why I'm here.  Another inflammatory statement that if these changes were ever realized I'd leave.  Comparison of proposed site changes to another site that this site is confirmably not, without using the other sites name.


    My ass. It's code, with pictures of fish attached. Get over it. --trhurler


    [ Parent ]
    Ha (none / 0) (#254)
    by tayknight on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 03:33:58 PM EST

    funniest sig i've read in awhile.
    Pair up in threes - Yogi Berra
    [ Parent ]
    Off topic rabbit trail (4.66 / 9) (#147)
    by Notromda on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:33:01 PM EST

    Question about etymology of word "whinging"

    [ Parent ]
    Explanation (4.71 / 7) (#202)
    by rusty on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 06:14:25 PM EST

    Explanation that "whinging" is hip UK slang. Aspersions on parent's author's literacy. Recommendation to read The Register. Snarky closing.

    ____
    Not the real rusty
    [ Parent ]
    Apologies (4.60 / 5) (#213)
    by Notromda on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:15:30 PM EST

    Humble apologies and meaningless drabble for questioning the perfection of story...

    [ Parent ]
    Pointing out that "whinging" isn't hip (4.71 / 7) (#217)
    by pwhysall on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 01:55:56 AM EST

    And that "blootered" is a far more effective word for establishing one's anglophile credentials.

    Predictable statements about the superiority of British beer, women and politicians.

    Link to Untitled Document.


    --
    Peter
    K5 Editors
    I'm going to wager that the story keeps getting dumped because it is a steaming pile of badly formatted fool-meme.
    CheeseBurgerBrown
    [ Parent ]

    Strange title (4.42 / 7) (#201)
    by DavidTC on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:38:28 PM EST

    Completely irrelevant comment on parent post's sig, without mentioning the actual sig at all, so when the parent poster changes it no one will have the slightest clue what I'm talking about.

    -David T. C.
    Yes, my email address is real.
    [ Parent ]
    Gratuitous reply to Rusty (4.33 / 6) (#212)
    by roystgnr on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:10:20 PM EST

    Brief sentence somewhat related to what Rusty said. Angry inflammatory rant about Rusty's short-sightedness.

    Redundant question about "whinging".

    Meaningless filler paragraph to avoid making this post look too short.

    Blatant attempt to win attention/mojo by attaching my own words to Rusty's high scoring post.

    Unsubtly veiled uggestion that anyone not voting this a "5" is doing so simply to suck up to Rusty.

    [ Parent ]

    Vindictive and childish rant. (4.75 / 4) (#215)
    by id10t on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:51:41 PM EST

    Vicious flame over attempt to garner mojo.

    Long winded rant about my political beliefs that goes on for 5 pointless paragraphs.

    Useless tirade that goes even further off the topic of this post.

    More flame directed at employer.

    Closing remark that says little and says it very poorly.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    Unthinking Support of Site Founder. (none / 0) (#276)
    by Hillgiant on Fri Mar 01, 2002 at 09:21:34 AM EST

    Incoherent praise of site founder. Repeated and poorly repharased restatment of praise in previous sentence to try and streach out paragraph.

    Thinly vieled threat against fools who voted this tripe up against the clear objections of the mighty Founder.

    Mindless diatribe

    Suggest that people who voted +1FP be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

    Cliche denial of existance of K5 cabal.

    -----
    "It is impossible to say what I mean." -johnny
    [ Parent ]

    Exposition of extreme political view (4.40 / 10) (#90)
    by pavlos on Thu May 31, 2001 at 06:34:43 PM EST

    Ungrammatical and off-topic exposition of extreme, self-centered political view, poorly thought-out. Display of utter indifference, if not contempt, of the majority view. Failure to relate this to the article in any way.

    Reference to terrorism, whithout definition. Confusing or ambivalent account of the author's personal stance on the issue. Contorted reasoning allegedly justifying the authors view (whatever it is).

    Long list of unrelated anecdotes, presented as evidence. Unrealistic assumptions. Failure to see and address problems with the theory. Pathetic attempt to relate the issue to Free Software.

    Insightful remark that would have been the basis of a useful comment by itself. Wrongly drawn conclusion that nearly but not quite spoils it.

    Late 19th century political quotation --- innacurate attribution
    Formatted nIck

    www.authorsstupidsite.org

    exclamatory subject! (4.60 / 5) (#154)
    by reel_life on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:22:38 PM EST

    Disbelief of above commentators stupidity.

    cite from above comment

    Assumes something. Followed by accusations of whining.

    [ Parent ]

    satirical comment aimed at your post (4.12 / 8) (#157)
    by AmberEyes on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:38:02 PM EST

    citation from comment above
    Question realistic merit of above quote. Insinuate quote is blowing things out of proportion.

    Complain about unfair moderation. Insert attack on George W. Bush.

    second citation from comment above
    Insist writer is imbibing of illegal substances. Make snide comment suggesting therapy.

    third citation from comment above
    Compare poster to Nazi party and/or Adolph Hitler. Include comments asking if the poster thinks it's ok to kill jews for no reason at all. Make sarcastic jab at poster's religion. Include rhetorical question.

    Summation containing at least five of the following words/phrases:
    • Horrible grammar
    • Radical
    • Illogical
    • Streetlawyer
    • Nazi moderation
    • Garbage
    • vote -1

    Final jab at poster's sexuality and/or political belief.

    Obligatory remark toward how this single post spells the death of Kuro5hin.org, complete with examples blown out of proportion.

    Closing nickname
    Completely non-humorous/whining/angst-ridden signature tagline


    "But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
    [ Parent ]
    one word subject containing a profanity (4.00 / 7) (#160)
    by reel_life on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:52:55 PM EST

    citation from above comment

    Use of profanity. Insult the intelligence of k5 readers. Claim readers and/or above poster is too stupid too see the greater truth (as known only to this poster, of course).

    second citation

    Long-winded explanation why above poster and/or k5 readers must be wrong. Claims of superiority and greater intelligence.

    Delibrate yet artfully concealed attempt to start flame war. Argument based on political opionons. Refusal to view and read links if included above.

    self-important/wanking sig

    All your webcam pics are belong to the k5 cabal!
    [ Parent ]

    condescending remark (4.12 / 8) (#161)
    by AmberEyes on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:59:49 PM EST

    Notation that I rated your comment down to a 1 only because I didn't have trusted user status.

    Insulting paragraph explaining how I am too smart to respond to your petty attempts at a flame. The word troll is used at least four times. Carefully hidden flame of my own.

    Statement that I am not going to reply to any of the poster's points because it is a waste of my time and/or pointless because the poster is too stupid to understand.

    Final angry words. Plea with rusty to kill this user's account. Insist that the user is the sole reason Kuro5hin.org will die. Make passing claim that "back when the newbies were not around, things were better". Yearning comment wishing for those days. Comment about the poster's length of time at kuro5hin.org.

    Angry three word ending which would make a senior citizen spontaneously combust.

    Closing nickname
    Completely non-humorous/whining/angst-ridden signature tagline


    "But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
    [ Parent ]
    flammatory reply in subject (4.00 / 7) (#163)
    by reel_life on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:11:34 PM EST

    Claims of being oppressed/censored or not appreciated by the fact this poster is rated down.

    Clings to claims of superiority. Claim to not being newbie. Ignores troll comment or provides examples of how this poster cannot be troll. Claims to attempting to enlighten readers and/or above poster.

    Further statements on how the above poster is wrong. Clear absence of humor by taking every word of an above comment (that is two or more comments up) seriously.

    Attempt to invoke Godwin's law because above poster if above poster mentioned Nazis.

    Flames above poster for not knowing how to debate, in the process--showing that this poster doesn't know how to either.

    Snide comment about wankers or cabals.

    self-important sig

    [ Parent ]

    There is no problem, darnit! (4.44 / 9) (#95)
    by xriso on Thu May 31, 2001 at 07:44:02 PM EST

    Rebuttal against evidence of a problem - nothing is perfect!

    Evidence that the system is working.

    Point: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

    However, I voted +1 so others would see how wrong this idea is.

    --
    used-to-be-funny rusty quote - rusty

    Exasperation at your conformist character (4.77 / 9) (#96)
    by pavlos on Thu May 31, 2001 at 08:03:30 PM EST

    Exasperation! Suggestion that if everyone adopted this conformist attitude nothing would ever improve.

    Redundant philosophical point that we should not treat the present as the best that is possible.

    Statement that better models have been proposed. Lack of references. Bulk.

    Half hearted suggestion that you see everything as OK because you belong to some priviledged class. Comments that betray the same is true of me. Patronising attempt at guesst how "the rest" feels.

    -- "Long winded, obscure quote relating to the early history of the United States, meaningless to most of the audience"

    [ Parent ]

    Poorly-researched findings (4.36 / 11) (#97)
    by regeya on Thu May 31, 2001 at 08:17:44 PM EST

    Findings based on personal belifs, reinforced by results conforming to expected findings, used as evidence that personal beliefs are facts.

    [ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]

    Thin end of the wedge argument (4.57 / 7) (#102)
    by Pseudonym on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:36:54 AM EST

    small part quoted out of context
    Wild speculation about what doom would happen if that were taken to an illogical conclusion.

    Unwarranted conclusion about original poster's beliefs.

    Reference to web site setting out own personal beliefs, none of which deal with original poster's concerns.



    sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
    [ Parent ]
    Empirical concurrence (4.33 / 3) (#186)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:28:57 PM EST

    Friendy opening.

    Description of author's personal beliefs and experiences concurring with original set of unscientific findings.

    More anecdotal evidence concurring with the original conclusion, this time based on the alleged experiences of third and further removed parties. Clear lack of skepticism.

    Cringeworthy example of mistaking a coincidental event for proof of bogous theory. Evidence that the poster has heard of the coincidence paradox and brushed it aside!

    Expression of confidence in conclusion. Immature comment professing amazement that the rest of the world has not yet converted to this view.

    Pathetic sig

    [ Parent ]

    Accidental repeat post (4.44 / 9) (#98)
    by Denor on Thu May 31, 2001 at 08:41:53 PM EST

    Generic commentary on story. Unintentional irony when pointed out that a similar meta story has run recently

    -Denor


    Response by friend (4.33 / 6) (#104)
    by Kyrrin on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:57:27 AM EST

    Response by friend who has just stopped in to read K5 for a little while and is following links from parent's author's comments page.

    (Parenthetical promise to catch up on diary later.)

    Nitpicking of parent comment to make it look like friend has something to contribute.


    "I'm the screen, the blinding light; I'm the screen, I work at night. I see today with a newsprint fray, my night is colored headache grey, don't wake me with so much..." -- REM
    [ Parent ]
    A comment split between the title and body... (3.50 / 2) (#199)
    by DavidTC on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:24:04 PM EST

    ...that points out that parent comment was posted twice, thus ironically wasting even more space and time.

    -David T. C.
    Yes, my email address is real.
    [ Parent ]
    Accidental repeat post (4.00 / 9) (#99)
    by Denor on Thu May 31, 2001 at 08:42:05 PM EST

    Generic commentary on story. Unintentional irony when pointed out that a similar meta story has run recently

    -Denor


    Nonchalant subject (4.12 / 8) (#100)
    by interiot on Thu May 31, 2001 at 09:04:23 PM EST

    Several insightful comments, origintaing from a totally fucking different viewpoint than most. Comments interspersed with several cusswords.

    Reader represses initial impulse to rate as "1". Introspection as to whether the four letters are honestly reacted to as mere words. Desire to rate it highly based on unique insights. Rate it somewhat lower to discourage others from using a similar style.

    Troublingly annoying subject (4.57 / 7) (#101)
    by goganstoch on Thu May 31, 2001 at 09:11:56 PM EST

    Poster unable to recognize anything but swearwords in previous post, thinks K5 is becoming more troll-friendly.

    A two line post containing nothing but cusswords.



    [ Parent ]

    (Obligatory Obscenity in subject) (4.41 / 12) (#105)
    by id10t on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:42:11 AM EST

    Long pointless tirade that is completely off-topic.

    Flame

    Paragraph that goes on for too long resulting in nothing but proof that the poster has a low IQ and no point to make.

    More flame.

    Long pointless list of obscenities, proving that poster has no idea of how to be polite.

    Yet more flamage.

    Obligatory troll comment.

    Verbiage that further demonstrates the lack of vocabulary on the part of the poster.

    FLAME, FLAME, FLAME!

    Obscene comments on the author's parentage, sexual proclivities, and other stuff that the poster knows nothing about.

    Idiotic comment and link to site that somehow fails to relate to the topic.

    Comment that fails to say anything useful.

    Offer of a bevarage that tastes almost, but not quite entirely, unlike tea.

    (Poster's fake email address)

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t

    Apology for foolishness. (4.80 / 10) (#106)
    by id10t on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:04:37 AM EST

    Self-serving comment in a failed attempt at losing face.

    Comment that proves poster has not read the article.

    Flames.

    Useless link that relates to nothing at all.

    False apology that fools no one.

    Useless paragraph that says nothing at all.

    Flames directed at self.

    Idiotic comment that goes nowhere.

    Closing arguement that manages to contradict itself.

    Final bit of flame.

    (Poster's fake email.)

    Final request for tea.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    calmly stated title (5.00 / 1) (#251)
    by Moss Collum on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 12:14:32 PM EST

    Attempt to introduce more balanced view. Incorporation of both sides of issue. Reprimand for thoughtless flaming.

    [ Parent ]
    Vituperative Self-Justification, and a troll. (none / 0) (#252)
    by id10t on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 02:26:45 PM EST

    Flamage at parent post for daring to criticize this poster's right to make an utter fool of himself.

    Vicious remark directed at parent post's likely lack of parentage, good breeding, and other things I know nothing about.

    Ugly trolling remark directed at no one in particular.

    Attempt at face-saving paragraph when it finally dawns on me that I a acting id10tically that falls flat.

    Calmly stated closing remark that accidentally contains another flame due to a stupid series of typos.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    Point (4.16 / 6) (#114)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:04:42 AM EST

    Short top-level comment, unanswered.

    --- Considerably signature that overwhelms the comment text.

    Answered days after the joke got old (4.00 / 5) (#125)
    by slakhead on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:22:50 PM EST

    Obligatory shout out to fellow trolls.

    [ Parent ]
    Troll qualification questioning (3.25 / 4) (#187)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:30:46 PM EST

    Query as to above poster's troll credentials. Query as to wannabe status or general faulty memory.

    Reference to Troll High Council, implying 1337ness from such.

    Final snide comment, showing poster's smug, self-superior attitude.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    Well then (4.00 / 2) (#203)
    by slakhead on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 07:14:55 PM EST

    (Message with only a link in body)

    Hmm...

    [ Parent ]

    Obligatory link (4.44 / 9) (#115)
    by wiredog on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:29:27 AM EST

    To applicable comment in another story.

    "Anything that's invented after you're 35 is against the natural order of things", Douglas Adams
    Me too, haha comment! (4.40 / 5) (#141)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:17:40 PM EST

    Three page essay that says only, "ME TOO!"

    Two paragraphs describing in vivid detail the short post linked to, "for those that don't click links".

    Large paragraph telling the K5 crowd to laugh.

    Attempt to explain my own immense intelligence for "getting it".

    Walk away paragraph that clearly shows I have my tail between my legs and my head up my ass.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Subject indicating surprise and recognition (4.44 / 9) (#117)
    by gauntlet on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:21:57 AM EST

    Salutation

    Description of past experiences in use of particular style. Expression of fascination at concept. Statement of interest in use as part of "Theatre Sports".

    Expression of grattitude on the part of the commentor to the author of the article, based on positive feelings of humour. Comment regarding surprising consistancy with which comments on the article have kept style of the story.

    A funny and inspirational closing sentance.

    The poster's name.

    "It is difficult to catch a black cat in a dark room. Especially if there is no cat there." - Confucius

    Misplaced reply (4.55 / 9) (#119)
    by codemonkey_uk on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 11:49:57 AM EST

    Disclaimer of inexperience posting.

    Incomprehensible reply to a completely different comment.

    Request for of-topic information.

    Scrambled mark-up tags in sig.
    ---
    Thad
    "The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
    [ Parent ]

    Suggestion, in all seriousness (4.62 / 8) (#120)
    by Kellnerin on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:10:19 PM EST

    Brief post pointing out the "View: All Comments" option that exposes Editorial comments to an article that has been posted. Hearty endorsement of the meta-experience this affords.

    --Stop it, evil hand, stop it!--
    Primary indication of posting (3.09 / 11) (#122)
    by Sheepdot on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:18:27 PM EST

    Admant statement of disgust.

    Racist comment. (Deserving of a zero)

    Obligatory curse at admin's for allowing such a story to be posted.

    Link to goatse.cx.

    (An attempt to get a 0, please do so to add to the humor, I can take it)


    Correlation to other comment (4.20 / 5) (#129)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:29:49 PM EST

    Link to other apparently mis-moderated comment.

    Exasperation at said perceived mis-moderation. Luggestion of lack of humour. Exhortation to moderate the other comment in the correct manner!

    Author of both comments

    [ Parent ]

    #include "Pertinent comment" (3.71 / 7) (#126)
    by SIGFPE on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:27:48 PM EST


    SIGFPE
    Attempt at insult that has to be split up because (4.33 / 6) (#128)
    by Electric Angst on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:29:39 PM EST

    ...of the character limit for titles.

    Expression of disdain at the article's current position.

    Attempt to backtrack from previous comment.

    Statement of site's emminent downfall.

    Claim that continues presence on site is not disingenuous.

    Recollection of perceived better times on site.

    Pre-emptive strikes against mockery.

    Final, misspelled insult to article's author.


    --
    "Hell, at least [Mailbox Pipebombing suspect Lucas Helder's] argument makes sense, which is more than I can say for the vast majority of people." - trhurler
    Statement of resigned exasperation (4.33 / 3) (#185)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:28:08 PM EST

    Comment about how the site is as good as it ever was.

    Whine about people longing for the "good old days". Possible blanket attack on said people, with a smug "I'm better than you" tone.

    Mockery of parent's author's value system and command to shut up or leave.

    Final gratuitous attack on libertarians, for no reason other than to annoy them.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    No Text Comment (n/t) (3.50 / 6) (#130)
    by greyrat on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:31:28 PM EST


    ~ ~ ~
    Did I actually read the article? No. No I didn't.
    "Watch out for me nobbystyles, Gromit!"

    Unecissary "Mad props" smiley. (3.80 / 5) (#143)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:19:55 PM EST

    :-)!

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Spelling Nazi comment (4.28 / 7) (#149)
    by theboz on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:36:14 PM EST

    Pointing out of "unnecessary" being spelled incorrectly in the previous title.

    Smug feeling of superiority for pointing out a minor fault of another.

    Arm breaks off from patting self on back too much.

    Stuff.
    [ Parent ]

    Embarassment... (4.20 / 5) (#166)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:21:41 PM EST

    Express embarassment over ability to mispell a word in such a short post.

    Attempt to blame said mis-spelling on the time of day.

    Pretend that spelling flames don't really matter to me.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Obscure literary reference in title (4.12 / 8) (#131)
    by jabber on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:38:23 PM EST

    Expression of appreciation of article.

    Unnecessarily redundant request to community for increased quality of article submissions.

    Obtuse and lengthy sequence of paragraphs stating little more than already in post.

    Pedantic comment regarding that other site.

    Veiled parting shot at [Streetlawyer|Signal 11|Anne Marie|{trolling}]

    -- Pseudo-intelligent sigline.

    Response (on behalf of entire community). (4.33 / 6) (#144)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:22:53 PM EST

    Agreement with parting shot.

    Disagreement with rest of post.

    Insult to poster's intelligence/genitalia (or lack thereof of either).

    Philosophical rant in an attempt to appear more intelligent.

    Final parting insult.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Reactionary slur followed by exclamation points (4.40 / 5) (#148)
    by jabber on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:34:48 PM EST

    Vile insult directed at poster's female progenitor.

    Names of several known philosophers known responsible for valid points in preceeding post, along with comment that regurgitation of ancient wisdom does not make one wise.

    Several paragraphs of self-contradictory sophistry arranged so that the first word of each paragraph, when read as a sentence, reaffirms the openning insult - resulting is a meta-meta structure which none but the most observant (and life lacking) reader will notice.

    A sentence intended to smooth ruffled feathers without admission that all opinion is subjective.

    -- Same sig as before, which in the context of the post is completely devoid of meaning

    [ Parent ]

    Accusatory "knee-jerk" reaction. (4.50 / 4) (#168)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:27:18 PM EST

    Accuse the parent poster of being a hypocritical *sshole!

    Spend four paragraphs discussing my superiority for noticing said hypocracy.

    Full-raging flame at stupidity present in "the community".

    Attempt to win back the love of my fellow posters by adding a "only joking" clause.

    Last raging statement of anger that makes little to no sense and is simply an expression of incoherent rage.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Denotation of higher ground (4.40 / 5) (#171)
    by jabber on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:47:00 PM EST

    Feigned aloof detachment from raging flamewar.

    Link to Hacker's Dictionary definition of "Flame".

    Condescending verbal 'there, there' head-patting paragraph.

    Effect ruining typographical error in closing remark.

    [TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"
    [ Parent ]

    Appeal to reason (4.66 / 3) (#175)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:01:14 PM EST

    Patronizing salutation.

    Feigned indignation at the level of hostility perceived in the thread. Appeal to reason. Vague conillatory remarks. Annoying and presumptuous tendency to refer to the community in the first person plural.

    Unrelated attempt to elaborate on previous poster's signature, in fact betraying lack of wit.

    Sig

    [ Parent ]

    I can take care of myself post. (4.75 / 4) (#177)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:06:59 PM EST

    Insult to parent's attempt to help the discussion.

    Paragraph discussing the lack of individuality and "forced conformity" of the community.

    Insult to 95% of the community's inhabitants.

    Derogatory comment directed towards site founder.

    Pissy whiny paragraph telling the world what a child I truly am while trying to show my intelligence.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Attempt to dig deeper. (4.00 / 2) (#180)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:10:47 PM EST

    Insult to parent poster's intelligence.

    Attack on parent poster's ancestry.

    Draw inconclusive ties between poster and some militantly offensive group.

    Attack poster for holding such insane views.

    Attempt to politely bow out of conversation, while still insulting the poster as much as possible.

    One last insult hurled before claiming I don't really care.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Thread killing post subject (4.50 / 2) (#237)
    by jabber on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 11:54:21 AM EST

    Insult to parent poster.

    Insult to community.

    Blatant invokation of Godwin's Law.

    Vow to never again acknowledge parent poster's contributions to site.

    Long, disjoint paragraph on the declining quality of site, and it's convergence to That Other Site's style of content.

    Vow to initiate jihad against parent post author.

    Irrelevant racial slurr which unbeknownst to author is completely contrary to the ethnicity/faith/sexual orientation of parent post author.

    Additional invokation of Godwin's Law, this time with acronyms and a surname!

    [TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"
    [ Parent ]

    Accusation of lameness (4.33 / 3) (#188)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:37:12 PM EST

    Generic rant about people using *'s in their posts when they mean swear words, including several examples of such. Insult parent poster's manliness, with specific mention to nigh-on impossible sexual acts.

    Tangential rant about use of unix commands instead of swear words. Snide comments about geeks and their lack of socialisation. Claim of author's mastery of such, containing no irony whatsoever.

    Final insult to parent poster, meant to be cutting but instead being confusing.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    Hastily written response. (4.33 / 3) (#190)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:51:48 PM EST

    This time leaving out all *'s and using the real words, in fact a long string of them.

    Aloof, "I'm better than this anyway" rant.

    Attempt to prove my social skills by claiming I attended a party three years ago last December.

    Smug statement of superiority with added insult to most K5ers.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    *sigh* (4.33 / 3) (#193)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:59:05 PM EST

    Condescending initial comment. Condescending second comment.

    Link to parent poster's diary from six months ago where they may or may not have admitted to lacking in social skills. Spinning of argument using succession of logical fallacies about how parent poster needs to get laid. Inclusion of snide virgin remark.

    Final sneer using "HTH" acronym.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    Incredibly rude but useless snide remark (5.00 / 1) (#209)
    by kezdeth on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:47:59 PM EST

    Long list of Unix commands arranged in such fashion that if read correctly becomes a veiled insult to the author of the parent post.

    Self-serving remark implying superior intelligence that manages to prove otherwise.

    Pointless flame.

    <No sig>

    [ Parent ]
    Actual Problem (4.25 / 8) (#133)
    by Tachys on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 12:55:46 PM EST

    Explaination why this is not the real problem

    Summary of actual problem.

    Solution to this problem.

    Explaination on how great everything will be when this solution is put in place.

    Contradictory Subject Line (4.20 / 5) (#165)
    by Rhamadanth on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:16:15 PM EST

    Challenge to why 'actual problem' isn't actual problem.

    Flame.

    Insult to 'solution'. Derogatory comment about orginal author's thought process.

    Intellectual philisophizing. Reference to famous philosopher.

    Nyah nyah nyah.

    'So there' type ending.


    -- The /bin/truth is out there.
    [ Parent ]
    Defence of Actual Problem (4.00 / 3) (#182)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:12:42 PM EST

    Firm statement that the previously stated Actual Problem is in fact the Actual Problem.

    Competent but not perfect description of how the Actual Problem might not appear to be the Actual problem by a casual observer (unintentional mild insult).

    Weak additional evidence of why it is in fact the Actual Problem. Boring paragraph.

    Lame promise to post improved solution to reaffirmed Actual Problem in later article.

    Name

    [ Parent ]

    Supposed expert comment (4.60 / 5) (#206)
    by Kyrrin on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:08:00 PM EST

    Insistence that Actual Problem is not actual problem despite what parent says. Recitation of Actual Actual Problem based on author's knowledge of "human nature" and limited experience in field in question. Desperate flinging of all references found on a quick Google search for information to aid in an attempt to appear more learned in subject than actual truth.

    Wry comment that poster is at work and therefore doesn't have access to additional material. Parenthetical appeal to greater authority in form of blatant name-dropping of whatever Big Names author can remember.


    "I'm the screen, the blinding light; I'm the screen, I work at night. I see today with a newsprint fray, my night is colored headache grey, don't wake me with so much..." -- REM
    [ Parent ]
    Random Tangential Word(s) (3.71 / 7) (#139)
    by eann on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:14:08 PM EST

    Snide comment, failing to be anywhere near as witty as intended.

    Paragraph about some concern related to something marginally related. Go on at length about this trivial nit. Really wear it into the ground. You know.

    Propose a satirical or ill-considered solution. Or worse, ill-considered satire, which would immediately be mistaken for an actual suggestion and/or implemented by someone on a splinter site.


    Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. —MLK

    $email =~ s/0/o/; # The K5 cabal is out to get you.


    you forgot (3.50 / 6) (#140)
    by speek on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:15:50 PM EST

    My favorite poll option, X

    --
    al queda is kicking themsleves for not knowing about the levees

    Amazed subject line (4.20 / 5) (#142)
    by Notromda on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:18:41 PM EST

    Astonished paragraph complimenting K5 for most informative story ever to run on K5.

    Lame ending.

    No sig.

    My cat's name is mittens! (3.12 / 16) (#145)
    by Mantrid on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:26:21 PM EST

    My cat's breath smells like cat food.

    #kuro5hin reference (3.54 / 11) (#146)
    by Davidicus on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 01:27:32 PM EST

    Curry

    Random griping... (4.00 / 5) (#152)
    by skeezix on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:13:30 PM EST

    ...about how k5 is being overrun by trolls.

    further evidence that k5 is going to hell like /.

    followed by a witty comment designed to make me feel like i understand exactly what's going on and the rest of you are blind.

    suggestion for how a collaborative exponential meta-filtering sub-moderation system could be implemented easily and would greatly improve the quality of k5 posts.

    tagline.

    Angry Reminder (3.66 / 3) (#216)
    by slick willie on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 12:34:13 AM EST

    That this site is not like another site.

    "...there is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go if he doesn't mind who gets the credit."
    --Ronald Reagan, First Inaugural Address

    [ Parent ]
    I can't believe you people (4.37 / 8) (#155)
    by aonifer on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:26:20 PM EST

    Statement of disgust about the opinions expressed in about 1/3 of previous posts.

    Misspelled, totally irrelevant quote that was taken out of context.

    Parting insult to those expressing the aforementioned opinion using the phrase "that other site."


    Poll options (3.80 / 5) (#156)
    by fossilcode on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 02:32:57 PM EST

    Include poll options that don't reflect reader's obvious choice.

    Include Inoshiro as last poll option.


    --
    "...half the world blows and half the world sucks." Uh, which half were you again?
    Battlebots is cool (4.00 / 5) (#164)
    by aonifer on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:14:15 PM EST

    Reply to previous article, offering no material that hasn't been posting about six times in the other article's comments.

    Complaint about previous subject. (4.00 / 4) (#170)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:45:05 PM EST

    Agreement about Battlebots, disagree with poster mentioning it.

    Insult to poster because they aren't "clever enough" to distinguish when Battlebots is an appropriate subject.

    Three paragraph tirade about how much I like Battlebots.

    Smug indignation that someone else knows about Battlebots.

    Flaming parting blow.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Disdain for inferior USian TV (4.00 / 3) (#189)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:42:34 PM EST

    Smug claim about superiority of Robot Wars. Explaination of why said program is superior, displaying huge gaps in poster's knowledge and making it clear he has never watched either program.

    General snide comment about UKian superiority. Mention of the word "colony" in an insulting context.

    Final shot, smugly putting down anyone who watches such rubbish.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    England wishes it was this cool flame. (3.66 / 3) (#192)
    by Foolish Assistant on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:56:14 PM EST

    Claim of US superiority followed by several statements of English envy (completely non-sensical).

    Claim of one or two good things to come out of England.

    Claim of Japanese superiority.

    Confession that US sucks, but not as bad as England.

    Self-satisfied, "damn I'm smooth" statement.

    A masochist and a pyromaniac meet in a forest....well, you know the rest.
    [ Parent ]

    Subject lacking inspiration (4.00 / 2) (#194)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:03:53 PM EST

    Proof of US sucking using things completely unrelated to current discussion and equally valid for England. Claim that parent poster is ignorant of several key pieces of information, neglecting to specify said information.

    Agreement on Japanese superiority.

    Final parting blow at parent poster's maturity and relating it to inadequate USian schooling system.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    Obligatory WWII Flame (3.00 / 1) (#245)
    by kapital on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 02:47:32 AM EST

    Smug claim that citizens of the UK would be speaking German if not for the US.

    Display of near total ignorance of history in general and the Second World War in particular.

    Offhanded swipe at France's military prowess, while I'm at it.

    [ Parent ]

    Somewhat interesting title (4.50 / 6) (#172)
    by Erbo on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:54:03 PM EST

    Series of side observations regarding the issue. Discussion of a couple of possible remedies.

    Feeble attempt at shameless self-promotion. Description of how we handled this kind of issue [1-4] years ago.

    Cheery attempt to sum up above paragraphs. Well-wishes that this problem be solved soon. Glowing statement about the good qualities of this site.

    First name of poster
    --
    Electric Minds - virtual community since 1996. http://www.electricminds.org

    Continual lurking in the shadows (4.00 / 3) (#173)
    by fluffy grue on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:57:45 PM EST

    A declaration of the lack of comment text
    --
    "Is not a quine" is not a quine.
    I have a master's degree in science!

    [ Hug Your Trikuare ]

    Random otaku exclamation! (4.40 / 10) (#174)
    by enani on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:00:00 PM EST

    Declaration of how silly everyone is! Labelling of mean people as masu-baka poopyheads!

    Expressed intent of making people happy! A link to Sanrio! -==* Inappropriate telephone greeting! *==-

    Wannabe Lameness Flame (4.33 / 3) (#183)
    by mdxi on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:14:41 PM EST

    Holier-than-thou blanket statement deriding all people who bandy about their 3-word Japanese vocaulary and gleefully label themselves "otaku", thus showing their complete ignorance of the language, obviously implying that poster is of god-like stature in comparison.

    Added semi-selfconciously ironic reference comparing fanboys to Elven Wannabe gangs in Shadowrun RPG.

    Ulrelated vehement assertion that all dubs suck.

    --
    SYN SYN NAK
    [ Parent ]

    inane nitpicking editorial comment (4.66 / 9) (#176)
    by Burrito Supreme Dictator on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:05:39 PM EST

    Complaint over one or two minor spelling errors in article.

    Declaration of -1, with call for resubmit, despite the > 100 score of the story, and also despite user's lack of intent to vote for the resubmission.

    Sig that was clever 5 years ago.

    Offtopic Selfcentered MLP (4.20 / 5) (#178)
    by mdxi on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:07:19 PM EST

    Linkage to similar incident from somewhere else the poster hangs out.

    --
    SYN SYN NAK
    hmm (3.85 / 7) (#179)
    by Moghedien on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:07:41 PM EST

    Reading story without paying attention.
    Starting to read comments, but brain overflowers [sic].
    Going on a random rate-spree.
    Looking at the watch, deciding it's Friday.
    Goes outside to paint the sky red.

    ---
    [57 68 6F 20 63 61 72 65 73 2E]


    poll! (4.00 / 5) (#181)
    by bored on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:11:02 PM EST

    Well, I guess the results of the poll should be used to correct all the other polls posted to this site! I found it particularly interesting the minority of people (of which I am one) that voted for that one particular 'unappealing' response. Its like there was something wrong with it, just because of its position in the list!

    sudden realization... (4.66 / 12) (#191)
    by panck on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 04:55:50 PM EST

    ...that fifteen minutes of poster's life reading and replying to ostentatious, disillusioned, un-redeeming, cheap-shot, satirical Meta story will never be regained.

    Dismissive subject line (4.40 / 5) (#195)
    by RareHeintz on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:10:07 PM EST

    Whining and bitching about US-centric nature of article. Reiteration of utter apathy toward arcane points of US legislative procedure. Further whining and bitching that the US is not the center of the world, despite what USians think.

    Offhand oversimplification about how much better proportionally representative parliamentary governments are.

    Salutation,
    - Moniker

    Witty sig that everyone has seen before


    --
    http://www.bradheintz.com/ - updated kind of daily

    Jingoistic tagline! (4.60 / 5) (#197)
    by RareHeintz on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:15:30 PM EST

    Stock reply asking why, if the USian system is really so much worse than other parliamentary governments, is the US the only remaining superpower?

    Offhand oversimplification about parliamentary governments constantly being dissolved and reformed without accomplishing much.

    Flippant, jingoistic remark that reinforces everyone's negative image of USians.

    Witless sig
    --
    http://www.bradheintz.com/ - updated kind of daily
    [ Parent ]

    Over-hyped claim to solution (3.75 / 8) (#196)
    by spiralx on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:14:01 PM EST

    Reference to obscure sci-fi book. Description of situation in said book which is only tangentially related to current story. Total praise for book, overlooking numerous flaws. Description of why situation in book is like current story, including at least two painfully butchered metaphors.

    Statement of book's solution as if it were a revelation from God. Praise for solution, again disregarding numerous flaws and real-world counterexamples. Explaination of how said solution could apply to k5, again involving painful logical contortions.

    Final comment, showing rightousness and arrogant assurance of poster's intelligence.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey

    I still (3.00 / 3) (#205)
    by Spendocrat on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:06:04 PM EST

    don't know why you feel that quoting sci-fi or fantasy genre books is any less valid than quoting any other genres or even any other media.

    Shitty quoting is shitty quoting, regardless of the source. And vice versa.

    [ Parent ]

    He didn't say that. (2.50 / 2) (#208)
    by AndyL on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 08:19:18 PM EST

    He expressed no judgement on it one way or anouther. He just indicated that it was the usual patern.

    [ Parent ]
    True (2.50 / 2) (#218)
    by Spendocrat on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 03:22:42 AM EST

    He says it elsewhere. Though I suppose I should have linked to that in the first place.

    [ Parent ]
    Tittilating subject line with exclamation point! (4.28 / 7) (#198)
    by RareHeintz on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:21:14 PM EST

    Deceptive comment meant to fool the reader into thinking I'm a regular reader/poster and not a spammer. Vehement exhortation to check out a site that will make your penis bigger! Brief testimonial claiming outrageous results.

    Second link about busty, young...

    Oh, shit. I thought this was Yahoo! Clubs.

    OK,
    - B
    --
    http://www.bradheintz.com/ - updated kind of daily

    Disgusted exclamation! (5.00 / 3) (#250)
    by Moss Collum on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 12:11:16 PM EST

    Expression of displeasure at filthy link. Warning to readers to check before clicking. Statement of shock that poster would dare include link to... Slashdot.

    [ Parent ]
    Comment typical of its author (4.77 / 9) (#200)
    by pavlos on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 05:27:52 PM EST

    Customary opening.

    The authors' typical way of approaching a subject, evident in the overall stucturing of the comment. Point of view familiar to the audience from the authors' past articles and comments. Characteristic overbearing style. Manifestations of other foibles.

    Unsurprisingly methodical exposition. Point-by-point analysis of the argument in the authors' trademark style. Links to earlier comments by the author. Characteristic pace. Inevitable progress toward's conclusions in line with the author's widely known point of view. Blatant reference to article where the author has expressed the same view in the past!

    Vocabulary and sentence structure reminiscent of the authors' other posts. Noticeable personal choices regarding gender-neutral language, British/American spelling, punctuation, etc. The authors' characteristic set of common errors in the english language and it's usage.

    Predictable change of tone signalling an approaching coclusion. Thorough exposition of the unsurprising conclusion, leading to the expected set of generalizations. Witty remark typical of the author. Tired half-excuse that the author is prone to doing that sort of thing.

    Link to author's site of collected rants

    Familiar Sig

    Strange MLP with egocentric comment (4.00 / 4) (#204)
    by Knile87 on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 07:19:13 PM EST

    This reminds me of a self-referential story I once saw. But it's not quite the same. I guess I'm just better than yall for recognizing there(intentional typo just to prove I'm flawed -- too busy thinking great thoughts to worry with such silliness as spelling) similarities.

    "We're all on a big ship! We're on a big cruise, across the world!" -- Iowa Bob, in Hotel New Hampshire


    Comment that will be mis-understood. (4.66 / 3) (#210)
    by id10t on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 09:44:02 PM EST

    Effusive praise of the author for having the courage and insight to see the issue and suggest a solution which is turned into a lenghty session of self-praise for having the courage and insight to have thought of such a gracious compliment.

    Truly nauseating paragraph full of praise for the posters below who agree with my point of view that really demonstrates just how conceited I am.

    Long vindictive flame at those posters below who do not agree with me that eventually contradicts itself.

    Off topic praise of site founder thrown in to show what a boot licker the poster can be.

    Vicious flame with no point placed here for no reason.

    Pointless closing remark.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t

    Lord, You All Seem To Have Forgotten... (4.50 / 4) (#211)
    by limekiller on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 10:32:09 PM EST

    Heartfelt lamentation about how far downhill K5 has gone since hitting Wired. Wistful pine for the old days, backhand compliment for how good the stories used to be, outright insult to current readership. Not so subtle reference to low user number.

    Laughs (4.66 / 6) (#222)
    by henrik on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 09:24:59 AM EST

    Laughs directed at parent posters user number. Pride at own low user number. Sentence pointing out that already low user number would be much lower had self only bothered to create an account earlier.

    Nervos glances at Rusty and wishes said site admin won't read selfs comment and replying about the idiocy of bragging about 3 digit UIDs.

    Wishful longing for the days when self knew who everybody posting was - while not acknowledging that k5 is much better now.

    Customary closing remark insulting parent and the US. Long flames about the uselessness of meta-meta-stories. Continued whining about lack of poll options.

    -henrik

    Akademiska Intresseklubben antecknar!
    [ Parent ]

    Laughably shallow post (3.66 / 3) (#232)
    by Holloway on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 09:03:28 PM EST

    • Obvious penis-touting that mocks parent post's believed old skool status in proposed formula that (1/UID)*500.
    • Bizarre overuse of HTML and complaint that K5 censors HTML needed by trendy cause DiSaBlEd uSeRs. Complaint that this is paramount to kicking granny down the stairs and urinating on her dead corpse, ending with rheotorical question asking WHAT KIND OF MONSTER??? would do that (?).
    • Suggestion that this place is going to the dogs.

    (Forgets to close italics tag but scoop catches that and call for quality HTML doesn't appear hypocritical)

    [ Parent ]

    Insightful post on slashdot about this! (4.50 / 4) (#221)
    by Holloway on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 09:00:42 AM EST

    Link to topical though shamefully abusive comment on Slashdot by same author's troll account. Fearing that K5 readers might notice similarity in writing styles, post is themed bizarrely to throw dogs off scent. Haw! haw!

    Props to all my dead homies.

    Title about Trusted User (3.60 / 5) (#223)
    by Tachys on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 09:35:45 AM EST

    Long winded post about how cool I am since I just got trusted user status

    Self-rightous pledge to use power for good and not evil

    Innocuous introductory remark. (4.50 / 2) (#226)
    by id10t on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 01:10:47 PM EST

    Congratulatory snide comment.

    Five paragraph flame at parent poster for perceived bragging.

    Insinscere apology to community that fools no one.

    Self-congratulatory smirk for not revealing that this poster also acheived trusted user status.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    Late comment (4.60 / 5) (#225)
    by adamba on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 12:35:00 PM EST

    Apology for not joining thread earlier.

    Explanation of time crunch preventing review of other comments.

    Comment that has already been mentioned.

    Comment that has already been mentioned and argued into the ground.

    Lame joke to mollify annoyed readers.

    - name goes here

    Obligatory poem (4.22 / 9) (#227)
    by Robin Lionheart on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 02:34:55 PM EST

    Adding nothing new,
    a twelve syllable thought is
    posted in haiku.

    --
    Unattributed quote from someone wittier.



    Pedantic response (5.00 / 2) (#241)
    by fluffy grue on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 06:56:43 PM EST

    Observation that
    Haiku have seventeen, not
    twelve syllables, man

    Also noted that
    counting syllables is not
    what a haiku is

    --
    Three-year-old signature with vague
    tangential reference to theoretical Computer Science

    [ Shameless self-promotion ]

    [ Parent ]

    title mentioning both reagan and the evil empire (3.25 / 4) (#228)
    by funwithmazers on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 03:00:54 PM EST

    Claim that this problem is caused directly by the shadowy forces of the right-wing. Troll for [Gore|Nader]. Comment about how much better the world would be if random left-wing official were emperor of the universe.

    Call for mirrors! (4.00 / 4) (#229)
    by Pope on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 03:58:52 PM EST

    Complaint of reaching story too late.
    Complaint that authors should contact linked sites before subjecting said sites to the dreaded K5-effect.

    Off-topic claim on how great K5 looks in the latest Mozilla nightly build.

    Further query of how to pronounce a word with a number in the middle of it.

    Obligatory pro-Macintosh signature.


    "Turn your tails and run, In fear of the approaching years, in fear of the Ouch Monkeys" Julian Cope
    unsuprising reference to postmodernism (4.20 / 5) (#231)
    by steev on Sat Jun 02, 2001 at 08:22:36 PM EST

    clever citation of 1 or 2 famous french philosophers.

    further comments which grow boring and prove how hopelessly out of touch with K5 community the commentator is.

    more academic allusions and name-dropping in final attempt to impress anyone who has read a bit of critical theory or cultural studies instead of only computer manuals and dilbert cartoons.

    incredibly intellegent recursive instruction, exhorting reader to start reading at the top of this web page, unless they understand this clever ruse, which they won't unless they do read again to get the hidden meaning planted above.



    Meaningless Single-Word Title (4.63 / 11) (#233)
    by Captain Derivative on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 01:49:30 AM EST

    Complaint about story not being front page material. Statement of poster's vote. Further complaint about (too many | too few) articles reaching front page.

    Offtopic mockery of and/or attack on (political figure | RIAA | MPAA | Microsoft).

    Filler paragraph repeating prior statements. Inclusion of <example>fake HTML tags</example> and/or $LANGUAGE variables in paragraph to show poster's membership of technological aristrocracy.

    Paragraph with accidental HTML error that causes rest of comment to appear in bold.

    Reference to K5 cabal, particularly its nonexistence.

    --
    Nonsensical signature with link ignored by the reader.



    Vague Statement of Apology (5.00 / 5) (#234)
    by Captain Derivative on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 01:54:43 AM EST

    Self-reply apologizing for malformed HTML in parent. Complaint about current rating of parent. Accusations of people participating in ratings wars against me. Attempt to identify this as evidence of failure of K5 rating system.


    --
    Hey! Why aren't you all dead yet?! Oh, that's right, it's only Tuesday. -- Zorak


    [ Parent ]
    Pointless comment from a HTML Nazi-wannabe (5.00 / 1) (#271)
    by larsdahl on Tue Jun 12, 2001 at 04:23:12 AM EST

    Paragraph redundantly pointing out accidental HTML error, yet ironically containing a similar accident.

    Trolling comment showing author's origins to be from that `Other Site', continuing off-topic incoherent rant on random American institutes (with added snide commentry in parentheses).

    Concluding paragraph that contradicts its own argument, making its author look like a fool, but is remarkably free of links to quadruped pornography.


    --
    A .sig? Now what would I want with one of those?
    [ Parent ]
    long meandering essay read only by author (3.25 / 4) (#235)
    by intmainvoid on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 02:01:55 AM EST

    firstly let me say...

    on one hand i agree...

    on the other had i disagree...

    but there is something for us all to learn from this...

    did anyone see the x files last night?

    conclusion unrelated to story.

    Notice about average topical comment rating. (3.25 / 4) (#236)
    by i on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 03:43:35 AM EST

    For this article it is 4.21.

    Refusal to comment further.



    and we have a contradicton according to our assumptions and the factor theorem

    Dreaded shift to rating-system debate (3.00 / 4) (#238)
    by pavlos on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 01:01:31 PM EST

    Echo of the previous post. Thanks to poster. Alarm bells.

    Calling the current story an aberration, if not outright "Mojo-fest". Exasperation along the lines of "You people will rate anything up". Lame assurance that one is not deliberately abusing the system, contrasted with statement of disbelief that the current rating situation is nonetheless happening.

    Plea for rusty to intervene in an executive manner. Tentative suggestion to nullify the entire Mojo-distorting effect of this story. Outline suggestion that perhaps the sum of Mojo-adjustments rooted at each story should be normalized to zero before affecting user status. Flame shield.

    Generic suggestion that the rating system should be replaced with a more elaborate vaguely-mojo-preserving system to prevent this type of problem in the future. Observation that, if a seeded-trust system is adopted, it may be better to adopt it sooner rather than later. Flame shield.

    Pavlos

    [ Parent ]

    Humorous response... (3.66 / 3) (#239)
    by dennis on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 05:38:26 PM EST

    ...in the same style as the article.

    I guess this is the point where I add.. (3.00 / 6) (#240)
    by enterfornone on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 05:50:58 PM EST

    ...that everyone who voted this up is a moron.

    --
    efn 26/m/syd
    Will sponsor new accounts for porn.
    Voting robot or thought control? (1.50 / 2) (#243)
    by tapir on Sun Jun 03, 2001 at 08:48:37 PM EST

    Is it my imagination, or did somebody invent a web robot which logs onto kuro5hin.org under 100 different names and votes the story up? And then, did the robot generate hundreds of comments that were formatted the same way?

    Or, more disturbingly, does this just prove that formal methods work. This was the real accomplishment of late 20th century science fiction, from Phillip K. Dick to Piers Anthony. You can't make a living writing if you can't right fast, so you need to develop a simulation formula for turning out the same book again and again with minor tweaks to the same structure.

    The next innovation is to publish the structure at an earlier stage, not bother fleshing it out -- this saves time, and somehow, readers like it even more. It just reminds me of that awful art museum in Paris where they left all the plumbing and heating stuff hanging out of the building. [At least I didn't use the P-word]

    surreal subject [comment never posted] (5.00 / 2) (#260)
    by dr k on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 11:17:56 PM EST

    Disdain.

    [Intense introspection. "Why stoop to this level", for example.]

    [Comment cancelled.]
    Destroy all trusted users!
    [ Parent ]

    test (2.12 / 8) (#244)
    by operandi on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 12:30:53 AM EST

    sup

    Title repeated in comment (4.75 / 8) (#246)
    by paranoidandroid on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 03:24:50 AM EST

    Title repeated in comment. Redundant repeated repitition of title, interspersed with profanity for emphasis.

    Unnecessary quotation of irrelevant passage from article. Disdainful insertion of [sic], despite the fact that the original spelling was correct. Misleading truncation of quotation in mid-sentence

    Citation of statistics, with link to page that contains no mention of the numbers cited. Thesis sentence with the word 'not' inadvertantly omitted, inverting the stance of the entire post. Sentence with wrong word emphasized, further clouding the issue.

    Exhortation to rate this post however you want; insistence that poster couldn't care less about mojo. Admonition that anyone who rates this post below a '5' is an idiot. Closing sentence that brings up a completely unrelated issue.
    Sig confusingly not separated from the rest of the comment. Accidental irony when sig refutes the point made in the comment.

    Complaint about poll options (3.66 / 3) (#248)
    by Spatula on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 11:32:26 AM EST

    Random whinge about inability to view poll results before voting.

    Expression of horror regarding general sheep-like conformity to article's format. Somewhat off-topic equivocation of format to Textmode Quake.

    Veiled attempt at mediocre humor. Emotion or body action put between asteriks.
    --
    someday I'll find something to put here.

    Vague indication of (dis)agreement (4.40 / 5) (#249)
    by Moss Collum on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 12:04:48 PM EST

    Pretentious blather.

    Suggestion of reading material designed only to allow the poster to show off his education.

    Exhortation to ignorant masses to try for a more intelligent level of discussion.

    Sudden realization of poster's arrogance. Expression of disgust with self.

    This is a .sig.
    Now there are two of them.
    There are two _____.


    the truth is out there (3.00 / 1) (#256)
    by bsmfh on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 04:39:28 PM EST

    Mulder saw it

    the K5 Cabal worked hard on this one.

    see how it's melting into your mind right now?

    too late. must flee.

    Opportunistic freeload (4.50 / 2) (#258)
    by johnny on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 08:26:33 PM EST

    Mention of poster's NanoNovel Acts of the Apostles

    Reminder, for any k5ers who care, that poster has been a good doobie, making many posts averaging above 4.5, in the 6 weeks or so since he first tried to crash the K5 party to exploit his famous novel, so beloved by Rusty, Geek.com, Slashdot, etc, and hardly doing any crass self-promotion at all, outside of the "generally accepted" mention in his sig.

    Statement that poster is too damn lazy to put in the links to positive reviews of his novel by above-cited sources, with solemn promise that said reviews do in fact exist and that links to them can be found at above-linked site.

    Apology for turning silly meta-story into spam oportunity, with obligatory "wake up and smell the coffee" observation that the internet is all about commerce, sweetheart, and the last virgin in the senior class was seen parking in lover's lane about 1995.

    Final quasi-earnest, quasi-humorus request that readers at least click on the link, after all what have they got to loose?



    yr frn,
    jrs
    Get your free download of prizewinning novels Acts of the Apostles and Cheap Complex Devices.

    Glowing review of stellar work cited above! (4.00 / 2) (#261)
    by id10t on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 11:53:29 PM EST

    5 effusive paragraphs praising this work, making it clear that I feel this is the most important literary work in history.

    12 citations from another work entirely, unrelated to above work, used to prove my point.

    Flames directed at anyone who would dare to disagree with this opinion.

    Closing remark that makes it quite clear that I have not read either work and have no right to an opinion on them.

    Ingratiating remark made to author of parent post inquiring as to when I get paid.

    --------

    "Still! `Old friend!' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target!"

    Admiral James Tiberius Kirk, ST: The Wrath of Khan

    --------

    id10t
    [ Parent ]

    Nazi analogy (4.50 / 2) (#262)
    by CaseyB on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 11:57:05 PM EST

    Astonished account of personal offense to article.

    Nonsensical allusion to Nazis.

    Godwin's Law (5.00 / 1) (#263)
    by CaseyB on Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 11:58:52 PM EST

    Citation of Godwin's Law.

    [ Parent ]
    moronic response (5.00 / 1) (#265)
    by uberguber on Tue Jun 05, 2001 at 02:05:25 AM EST

    Ifantile masterbatory comment. Natalie Portman reference. Dumb sig
    Uber, The Mighty Claw Hammer of Sagacity
    [ Parent ]
    Ad hominem attack (4.25 / 4) (#266)
    by kapital on Tue Jun 05, 2001 at 03:56:10 AM EST

    Knee-jerk attack on article based on reading title and summary.

         Quote from article, taken completely out of context

    Mockery and dismissal of above quote, making it obvious that I didn't actually read the article, merely skimmed it for quotes I could turn into strawmen

    (Repeat several times)

    Attack on author's intelligence and education level, with unlinked references to other comments and diary entries by author. Accusation that author is just parroting some media figure or organization. Sarcastic request that author educate himself about topic before posting.

    Scottish Nationalist Riposte (4.50 / 2) (#267)
    by the trinidad kid on Tue Jun 05, 2001 at 06:29:06 AM EST

    Short recapitulation of UK constitutional history.

    Mandatory quote from A Drunk Man Looks At The Thistle by Hugh McDairmid regarding:

    ".../Or use o England whar the U.K.'s meent/..."

    Pedantic (and paranthetic) observation that the italics are the posters and not the poets.

    sig from Braveheart

    Sheepish Auto-riposte (5.00 / 1) (#268)
    by the trinidad kid on Tue Jun 05, 2001 at 06:40:02 AM EST

    Hand-wringing confession that orginal intention to reply to comment (#192) thwarted by wetware error.

    Underhand imprecation that usability testing leaves a lot to be desired.

    Unspoken assumption that other site is the real K5.

    sig escalating K5 authenticity

    [ Parent ]
    Thank God! (3.00 / 3) (#269)
    by itsbruce on Tue Jun 05, 2001 at 03:38:55 PM EST

    A poll that doesn't have Inoshiro in it!


    --I unfortunately do not know how to turn cheese into gold.

    Actually... (none / 0) (#273)
    by Ranger Rick on Sat Oct 20, 2001 at 12:30:22 PM EST

    It's got meta-inoshiro.

    :wq!


    [ Parent ]
    Stupid comment (3.50 / 2) (#270)
    by SoulSeller13 on Wed Jun 06, 2001 at 05:08:59 PM EST

    All your base? Oh yeah -- They are belong to us.

    Interesting Title (4.60 / 5) (#272)
    by Tachys on Fri Jun 15, 2001 at 05:31:53 AM EST

    Moderately insightful comment posted way to late for anyone to care.

    RE: (5.00 / 7) (#274)
    by Anonymous 6522 on Tue Nov 06, 2001 at 01:12:15 AM EST

    Pointless reply written months later.

    [ Parent ]
    RE: (5.00 / 1) (#277)
    by afree87 on Tue May 28, 2002 at 03:47:54 PM EST

    Reply pointing out that story is no longer commented on.
    --
    Ha... yeah.
    [ Parent ]
    Clarifying once and for all; (5.00 / 1) (#282)
    by tiamat on Mon Sep 16, 2002 at 10:58:37 PM EST

    this story is indeed dead, and therefore no longer commented on.

    [ Parent ]
    Title Changed For No Reason (5.00 / 1) (#278)
    by Evil Petting Zoo on Tue Aug 20, 2002 at 12:10:14 AM EST

    Another pointless "me to" reply with poor grammar, obviously ignoring the other message that story is no longer commented on.

    [ Parent ]
    Comment posted to article long after publication (4.50 / 4) (#275)
    by WWWWolf on Tue Jan 29, 2002 at 04:47:55 PM EST

    Comment that explains something that occurred to the writer somewhat later but s/he didn't post it right away for some reason.

    A small bit of hindsight. Smiley.

    -- Weyfour WWWWolf, a lupine technomancer from the cold north...


    Anachronism (3.00 / 1) (#279)
    by mortisimo on Tue Aug 20, 2002 at 12:11:58 AM EST

    Is compelled to post over a year later and relate story and commenters attitudes to the events of 9/11.

    Smug "See I told you so!" comment indicative of the authors belief that he is a modern day Nostradamus.

    Closed with a dire "Just you wait and see." warning citing current trend in culture/politics/tech that will lead to yet another 9/11 type of disaster.  

    Bizarre Exclamatory Response! (none / 0) (#283)
    by chemista on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:49:34 AM EST

    Trolling comment about everyone but USians writing the date as 11/9. Weird discussion of big-endian versus little-endian date systems for no apparent reason.

    Incoherent rant referring to "Dubya" with links to easily disputed sources. Completely off-topic flame of thelizman.

    Smug reply to parent being posted a year after the story is posted, ignoring that this one was posted a month after that.

    Out-of-place US-patriotic .sig left over from when my opinion was different.
    Stop reminding people about the overvalued stock market! I'm depending on that overvalued stock market to retire some day! - porkchop_d_clown
    [ Parent ]
    Mojo Generator (tm) (3.00 / 2) (#280)
    by MotorMachineMercenary on Tue Aug 20, 2002 at 07:56:28 AM EST

    A comment on a really old story by someone who will moderate the said comment using dummy accounts to get back her trusted user -status abusing a well-known shortcoming in Scoop.

    Clever and funny content congratulating those who do stumble upon the Mojo Generator (tm) in a vain attempt to appease them so they will not hinder exploitation of the Scoop feature.

    ---
    A sig that will change your life forever

    Diversion (none / 0) (#281)
    by verbard on Tue Aug 20, 2002 at 08:15:17 AM EST

    A reply by the writer of the original comment using a dummy account to make Mojo Generator (tm) to look like a genuine comment to the casual observer.

    Serious explanation how reply in question is actually written by someone else, impersonating a dummy account just to throw anyone actually reading this off track. Some joking about the implausability of such a scenario. More similarly confusing and circular diversions.

    A link guaranteed to draw attention away from Mojo Generator (tm) and send the reader off-site.


    --Sig: (This will get posted after your comments)
    [ Parent ]

    Comment subject that doesn't describe comment (5.00 / 1) (#284)
    by I am Jack's username on Sun Sep 29, 2002 at 11:31:43 AM EST

    Insult of author's intelligence for missing obvious poll option. Harsh criticism of lack of "None of the above" (Nota) option. Sarcastically worded suggestion that author always add Nota option in future.

    Explanation why comment writer in all seriousness voted for "optional absurd response" despite prefering initailly mentioned option or Nota, without realizing that option voted for is the absurd/Inoshiro/CowboyNeal/Nota option.

    Apology for editorial comment in a newly started thread after story accepted. Reverse psychology mojo mentioning attempt to prevent 0 ratings.

    Sentence directing reader to apropos quote in .sig, which being set retroactive, is completely malapropos when read after change.
    --
    Inoshiro for president!
    "War does not determine who is right - only who is left." - Bertrand Russell

    Word In Chinese/Japanese!! (5.00 / 1) (#285)
    by DarkZero on Sat Oct 05, 2002 at 03:34:05 PM EST

    Statement from an Asia Geek regarding the parent poster's obvious fucking idiocy for requesting a "none of the above" option without also requesting a "mu" option. Possible vague, unintelligible reference to a deep and ancient book on Eastern philosophy that was written three years ago by a Texan cattle farmer.

    [ Parent ]
    Inane title. (4.00 / 1) (#286)
    by kitten on Sun Oct 06, 2002 at 12:33:24 AM EST

    Top-level comment that should be in an earlier thread, as it is a reply to a previous post.<br>
    <br>
    Incorrect usage of markup.  "Plain Text" accidently selected.<br>
    <br>
    Idiotic <a href="http://kuro5hin.org">self-referential</a> link, which is used every time the <a href="http://kuro5hin.org">reference</a> comes up, in case you missed it the first time.<br>
    <br>
    Outraged, self-righteous seizure.  Long-winded personal anecdote, probably fictious, offered as convincing counterargument.<br>
    <br>
    <a href="http//:mirrorshades.org">Shameless self-promotion</a>, with broken or incorrectly formatted link.<br>
    <br>
    Four-paragraph dissertation on why a two-line post made eighty comments ago is incorrect.<br>
    <br>
    Obligatory reference to current K5 meme {sapphires, otters, pancakes, monacle polish).<br>
    <br>
    Vitriolic spite-filled insult directed at author, as a holdover grudge from a previous verbal battle that took place two years ago.<br>
    <br>
    Thin, vague conclusion that takes no sides and remains carefully neutral so as not to antagonize anyone.<br>

    mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
    Statement of temporal lag (5.00 / 1) (#287)
    by evilpenguin on Sat Oct 12, 2002 at 08:49:39 AM EST

    Admission of tardyness.  Attempt to be funny for no apparent reason.

    Mention of other story linking here, whilst refraining from actually linking to it.

    ...air...

    Three-word conclusion.
    --
    # nohup cat /dev/dsp > /dev/hda & killall -9 getty

    Confusingly titled meta story | 286 comments (251 topical, 35 editorial, 0 hidden)
    Display: Sort:

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