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How to Generate Hate on Kuro5hin

By I Am A Troll So There in Meta
Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 05:11:02 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)

An oldbie's refresher on cluelessness.

  • Choose a provocative nick. Or just a plain stupid one, like yours truly's. The intelligent people on K5 utterly abhor such superficial displays of folly. Make your stupidity as obvious as possible, since obscure idiocy is actually (secretly) appreciated and shared by Good, Accepted K5 Readers.
  • Learn to contradict yourself. This will be especially important in the later points.
  • Learn how not to spell. I mean, even a famous author (and forget you know his name -- otherwise you'll be too obviously intelligent) said that if you can't spell a word in more than one way, then you're stupid. (Note: this is an example of contradicting yourself. Do this often, and a lot of Hate will fly at you.)
  • Post idiotic diary entries. That is to say, post intelligently-crafted idiocy. Genuine stupidity, such as that exemplified by normal K5 users in the diaries, is simply ignored. You need to put thought into how to make your diary entry so stupid that even the calmest philo5opher will be provoked to flame you.
  • Troll. But not successfully--make it painfully obvious that you're trying to troll, so that even a newbie will recognize it. (Emphasis on painfully.) Obviously unsuccessful trolls will prick the intelligent masses to despise you. Even the (real) trolls will hate you.
  • Be provocative. Not in a thoughtful way; pick a sensitive topic like racism, religion, conservatism, homosexuality, or microsoft[*], and spew luddite rhetoric about it. Make your arguments obviously baseless, and throw in discreet amounts of name-calling as well.

    [*]Note: flaming microsoft on this site will very quickly get the Cluefully Alert K5 Readers (CAKRs) on your back. Don't try unless you're prepared.

  • Browse other sites, and especially The Other Site, and from time to time, copy one of their articles word for word and submit it as your article to K5. Do not change a single word; after all, you must not show the slightest hint that you actually have a shred of intelligence left in you.
  • Keep telling others that they have been trolled, even though your trolls were obviously a flop. Every time somebody corrects you, reply to him/her and spew yet another Nonsensical Line of Non-Argument as your rebuttal. Keep doing this until they resort to name-calling. It helps a lot if you know acronyms like "YHBT. YHL. GO. TFP. HAND." Especially if you keep using them tirelessly in less-than-appropriate situations.
  • Rate down comments that agree with you. C'mon now, you don't want to do what every else does by rating down comments that disagree with them, do you? You must strive for your cluelessness to stand out. Rate down comments that agree with you--that will provoke hatred in that person who thought he wants to be kind to you. Rate up comments that disagree with you. This way, you make it more fun for people to hate you, and for the CAKRs to cackle at you.
  • Never do what people try to get you to do. That includes (1) not following the site guidelines, (2) not following accepted K5 behaviour (3) not doing what people tell you (4) not doing the opposite of what people tell you ('cos they'll just start asking you to do the opposite of what they want).
  • Tell everybody how intelligent you are. Do this by any and all means, whether direct or indirect. Try your best to convince others that you are intelligent in spite of everything else you do to the contrary. Best if you wallow in self-pity complaining that you hate this place because everybody hates you and doesn't appreciate your Einsteinian intellect. Learn from Jin Wicked.
  • Spew dogma. Any form of dogma will do, including "Christian" dogma, anti-Christian dogma, 7-day creationism, evolution, philosophy of science, or the axioms of set theory (if you know it). Be adamantly hard-headed about it; make up unbelievable fantastical arguments (involving UFOs and alien abductions) to defend your position. Try to steer discussion on every single article towards this. When you stumble across an off-topic thread in some article, jump at the opportunity immediately. Jump into the main conversation and throw out questions like "What about UFO's? Huh? Huhh? And what about 7-day creationism? Huh?? Huhhh? And what about the Face on Mars?" etc.. Be creatively stupid.
  • Finally, be an obsessive reloader. You should buy a stopwatch, and time yourself so that you either open a new page or hit Reload every 30 seconds. (Just don't open more than one reply window at a time, though; otherwise you're really stupid.) Also be an obsessive replier. Reply to anything and everything, even if it doesn't concern you. Be as intrusive and as obtrusive as possible.

Follow this disastrous recipe, and you will be crowned as the Bad, Obnoxious Reader of Kuro5hin (BORK). And behold the hate that speweth forth.


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This article is
o boring 28%
o stupid 17%
o obnoxious 6%
o hateful 3%
o funny 27%
o I Am the BORK; Intelligence is Futile! 17%

Votes: 98
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Kuro5hin
o The Other Site
o Also by I Am A Troll So There

Display: Sort:
How to Generate Hate on Kuro5hin | 38 comments (27 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden)
I'm torn... (4.11 / 9) (#5)
by Elendale on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 04:43:02 PM EST

On the one hand, this article has no purpose. Sure, i can see how to generate hate- this was never a problem anyway, i could always hunt trhurler down if i wanted to be yelled at- but why (or some other equally abstract justification) i would want to do so.


When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.

because (3.50 / 2) (#35)
by mami on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 03:32:38 PM EST

too few realize that it doesn't stop at the stage of being yelled at. It is a question of conscience to me, if it is responsible to look silently at how many are persuaded in believing that the resulting hate he is able to generate, is harmless.

Of course it would be potentially possible to completely force him into silence by not reacting at all. But that doesn't make his motivations (which I don't know of what they are , nor his capability to live out his capability to incite hate elsewhere. So, basically, there is no solution, as neither ignorance nor whatever reactions (reasonable, emotional or logic ones) change anything, neither his motivation to incite, nor his capability to do so freely.

If that is not dangerous, you can call me daddy.


[ Parent ]
Trolling? (4.10 / 10) (#6)
by ViljamL on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 04:51:22 PM EST

What is this trolling you speak of? Is it like fishing? It sounds like just being stupid, ne?

on dogma (3.09 / 11) (#9)
by rebelcool on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 05:13:16 PM EST

but if you show the wacky-fascist-extreme-left dogma, its okay. In fact, encouraged.

One day just to stoke things im going to post a story about McDonalds teaming up with Nike to sue indymedia and have anarchists thrown in jail. That should get on the frontpage is under 20 seconds.

COG. Build your own community. Free, easy, powerful. Demo site

Not true (4.00 / 4) (#15)
by Eloquence on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 07:21:25 PM EST

K5 on average, if that can be determined, is rather moderate/libertarian. There are quite a few atheists and free speech absolutists like myself, but a lot of anti-government, free-market types as well. You might get the impression that it's left leaning because there's a lot of agreement when it comes to basic individual freedoms (socialists, anarchists, social democrats, libertarians etc. all agree here), but when it comes to the freedoms of corporations, I can see no majority in support of strong regulation. The community as a whole appears more conservative than your average European community.

Also note that those people who disagree with a story are far more likely to reply to it than those who agree: dissent creates discussion. So if you're reading a story by a libertarian, you'll get lots of socialist/moderate responses and vice versa. Your McDonald's story would likely get a lot of comments thoroughly "debunking" you. Perhaps you simply notice those who disagree with you more than those who agree?

If anything, K5 is developing less of a group identity as it grows, since it seems to accomodate pluralism well. Of course, this also makes it more and more of a debate site than an activist site where you can accomplish goals effectively.
Copyright law is bad: infoAnarchy Pleasure is good: Origins of Violence
spread the word!
[ Parent ]

You'd think that. (none / 0) (#38)
by aphrael on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 07:59:51 PM EST

But from what I can tell, people are more likely to whine about fascist-extreme-left dogma than they are to agree with it. I recently created a troll account where i've been deliberately posting extremist right-wing dogma; i've only successfully trolled once, and generally people have agreed with me.

[ Parent ]
How NOT to generate hate on Kuro5hin (4.00 / 13) (#10)
by Tatarigami on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 05:24:18 PM EST

Because really, isn't peace and love just that much more worthwhile?

  • Attack the argument, not the person who holds it.

  • Refrain from name-calling or flaming. If you want people to respect you, you have to respect them too.

  • Accept that the opinions of others will be different from yours and that they may have valid reasons for thinking differently. If they're wrong, you'll just have to talk them around.

  • Stay calm. Your passion and conviction aren't conveyed well by a text medium, so logical arguments are much more effective than appealing to emotion.

  • Avoid me-too comments. Your thoughts are unique and special and we want to know how you arrived at your conclusion.

  • Grudges are for diaries, not the story queue.

  • Comments should be voted down for flawed logic or bad netiqette, not for disagreeing with you.

peace and love? (4.50 / 2) (#11)
by BehTong on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 05:46:23 PM EST

You can prevent flames if you do what you listed -- but generate peace and love? I dunno about that...

Courteousness and tolerance will only suppress the conflict between differences. They are nevertheless still there, whether you like it or not.

Just my $0.02. (Why am I even commenting here? I voted this garbage down)

Beh Tong Kah Beh Si!
[ Parent ]

Feel the love, baby (2.50 / 2) (#12)
by Tatarigami on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 06:04:14 PM EST

You can prevent flames if you do what you listed -- but generate peace and love? I dunno about that...

Well, I'm on some pretty funky medication for a head cold... I'm sure I'll be back to stabbing pins into my 'random K5 user' voodoo doll tomorrow.

[ Parent ]
doubtful (3.66 / 3) (#14)
by mami on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 07:04:28 PM EST

Attack the argument, not the person who holds it.

Well, if you think about it, that doesn't help one bit and people like eloquence and trhurler to a certain degree build on that. There thesis is absolute, which doesn't allow any counter argument to be valid.

Refrain from name-calling or flaming. If you want people to respect you, you have to respect them too.

That is a nice try. But actually, I really don't want the respect of people who use methods like trhurler and eloquence. I mean that would just prove how low I would have sunk .

Accept that the opinions of others will be different from yours and that they may have valid reasons for thinking differently. If they're wrong, you'll just have to talk them around.

Well and if you think their reasons are not valid but calculated hoaxes. Why should I talk around it ? All you are suggesting is to leave those guys alone and ignore them and engage in double talk? You think that's responsible ?

Stay calm. Your passion and conviction aren't conveyed well by a text medium, so logical arguments are much more effective than appealing to emotion.

Listen, if someone is up to something outrageous, I dare don't stay calm, either I leave or I don't. And if I don't I don't stay calm. Just why ? To give them their playing grounds all for themselves ? I don't think that's a good idea, though I don't recommend to go through this exercise more than once or twice for the same subject area. It's an recurring theme. And it has a predictable outcome. No winners, no loosers, just plain pain and hate. So, if that's the unavoidable outcome, then at least it must be made obvious.

People come to prove that hate speech should be protected under the first amendment. Let other people take the first amendment to counter argue. The reaction proves that the amount of hate generated is enough to speak out almost unhidden threats against the people who counterargue.

I am not quite sure if you want to protect the threats too. If that doesn't get the original claim of the poster self-refuted, you at least dismantle the motivation of the poster. Just because people engage in the skill of hate generating arguments with utmost brilliance and dishonest intellectual preciseness and logic like eloquence for example, doesn't mean that the content of what is said gets any less inflammatory.

For the sake of the archives, I am not willing (at least once in a while) to let those people of the hook. Your list of points is well meant, but I don't think they help for the trhurlers and eloquence guys in this world.

[ Parent ]

Don't feed the trolls (4.50 / 2) (#16)
by Tatarigami on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 07:42:51 PM EST

For the sake of the archives, I am not willing (at least once in a while) to let those people of the hook. Your list of points is well meant, but I don't think they help for the trhurlers and eloquence guys in this world.

Well, like the old saying goes: "If you're going to argue with a fool, make sure people can tell which one of you is the fool."

Perhaps it will help you to see what I mean to know that if I wasn't already familiar with the posts you're talking about, your reply would seem a little bit vindictive -- maybe even paranoid.

You don't have to ignore the twits, but you have nothing to gain by arguing at their level, and you're the one whose reputation gets hurt.

Since I'm already in a quoting mood: "Never wrestle a pig. You both get covered in mud, and the pig likes it."

[ Parent ]
Awesome quote! :-) (4.00 / 3) (#19)
by BehTong on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 07:51:50 PM EST

Never wrestle a pig. You both get covered in mud, and the pig likes it.

Couldn't be more true :-) Another one along these lines is "don't cast pearls at swine". Just leave 'em be. You'll only waste your time/energy.

Beh Tong Kah Beh Si!
[ Parent ]

I don't wrestle with a pig posters (4.00 / 2) (#26)
by mami on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 10:55:43 PM EST

but with a pig theory, presented by pig protecting posters, which allows the real pigs to abuse power.

Though I express myself often provocative in a couple of subject areas, because someone is so obviously out to abuse logic and decency in order to hurt, I think the FoS absolutism theory with regards to the German big issue of regulating Neo-Nazi hate speech is more or less the only issue for which I do accept a fight with "the pig protecters" .

I hope you are aware that this issue of regulating Neo-Nazi hate speech was included in our constitution because the Allied Forces insisted on this, as well as our post WWII founding fathers thought it was necessary. Recently this law became much more in our awareness, since the internet spreads this propaganda heavily.

For me this is not an issue I let any U.S. guy nilly-willy bully me down as an authoritarian b... U.S. based FoS absolutists aide heavily Neo-Nazi hate speech in Germany via the internet and I don't see why anybody should be allowed to impose their FoS absolutism theory onto Germans' , who have in the majority voted to contain pig protecters' activities. Just because a super smart German comes along to talk me down with his FoS and sexual oppression crap (I don't live in the fifties anymore), I won't answer to that one too.

I had my say on porn and I will stick with it. Among the K5 crowd this is unpopular speech. I never have returned obvious hate inflamatory reactions to my unpopular speech, when people didn't like me voicing that I consider porn online a business of pimps so lucrative that it helps to buy political power to people I consider "pig protecters". So, I would say that qualifies them, not me, as the ones, who provide the hateful responses to something they don't like to hear. Can't help it.

I can't recall that I ever reacted to any other issue than FoS absolutism and 2nd amendment issues "with passion". Both issues are very well worth to be treated this way. Not because the posters are pigs, but the fact that they use the FoS subject to protect those, who actually act like pigs. Same thing is true for the 2nd amendment issue. To ignore these issues and the people, who are so interested in keeping their absolutism alive, seems the way most people want to deal with them here on K5. Can't help but thinking that to be amazingly naive or ignorant and coward.

I can easily discount your view point on this issue as a bystander, who allows it to happen that "pig protecters" give the real pigs the option to abuse power.

Germans have constantly be attacked that they were willing bystanders to allow pig protecters let the pigs on the loose. In nicer language you stand by and do nothing when your legislative representativ write laws, which don't do justice. Laws and lawyers and judges get off the hook easily in the U.S.

It's a standard attack any German was accused of after WWII. Tell someone else, we should just be nice and polite bystanders in order to make sure that we never fight with pig protectors.

Absolutist pig protecters are immune to logic argumentation. So, your advice to make sure everybody knows who is the fool and who is not, is unfortunately not easy to accomplish. In order to prove your own non-foolishness, you need to prove the other person's argument wrong. But the absoluteness of their theory
leaves no acceptance to any logic argumentation. That's it.
Should I therefore not cry "foul" out loudly ? If yes, why ? Did you got rid of the problem those issues present by ignoring it ?

[ Parent ]
Back up a bit (4.50 / 2) (#29)
by Tatarigami on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 04:49:50 AM EST

I think I'm only picking up on half of what you're saying. What's FoS? Wasn't the US constitution written a couple of centuries before WWII? What's the second amendment?

I'm not saying you should let unenlightened posters get away with it, I'm just saying that if you get down and dirty with them, the moderates are going to start associating you with them in their own minds.

[ Parent ]
German Constitution (n/t) (1.00 / 1) (#31)
by wiredog on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 08:10:42 AM EST

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
U.S. Constitution (Libertarian Edition) (1.00 / 1) (#33)
by mami on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 11:28:15 AM EST

(This post is the result of successful brainwashing techniques applied by a subset of people using K5 as their playground.)

1. There shall be no law to prevent me saying anything I want.

2. If I can't make you shut up critizing this God given theorem, I'll use the 2nd amendment to finish the job.

3. Vive la liberte in your afterlife.

[ Parent ]
A bit ? (3.00 / 2) (#32)
by mami on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 09:51:06 AM EST

I don't think that would be enough. Why not altogether. That's what it was all designed for anyway.

[ Parent ]
Huh? (3.00 / 2) (#34)
by Tatarigami on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 03:25:01 PM EST

Sorry, you're still not making any sense.

[ Parent ]
I don't think I've ever seen (3.83 / 6) (#21)
by wiredog on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 08:20:17 PM EST

Current score:2
Total votes: 198

Good work!

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"

This is better (4.00 / 4) (#22)
by Oblomov on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 09:28:14 PM EST

Current score:0
Total votes: 236

[ Parent ]
Roofle owned bork. (4.00 / 4) (#23)
by BonzoESC on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 09:55:47 PM EST

Current score:3 Total votes: 251


Normally, my sig is an image.
[ Parent ]

or this (4.00 / 4) (#28)
by persimmon on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 01:01:07 AM EST

Current score:0 Total votes: 311
It's funny because it's a blancmange!
[ Parent ]
Odd (4.50 / 4) (#25)
by Anonymous 242 on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 10:24:49 PM EST

I seem to be able to generate a large amount of hate simply by posting what I actually think. Some of the responses I've gotten to what I thought were rather inane comments have triggered amazing amounts of vitriol. One of the few barbs that got to me can be found in this diary entry.

OTOH, other comments I've thought were inane have also triggered an investigation of myself by the Secret Service, so perhaps I'm not the best judge of whether or not a comment is inane.

I don't know that we need many more tips on drumming up hate.


Lee Irenæus Malatesta

I now worship you for revealing the One True Way (3.33 / 3) (#27)
by Zapata on Sun Feb 10, 2002 at 11:30:30 PM EST

/me takes a knee. +1 FP

"If you ain't got a camel, you ain't Shiite."

Jin, O Lovely Jin ... (3.66 / 3) (#30)
by Jacques Chester on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 05:55:32 AM EST

I once heard she pulled a Montoya: gave her account to someone else and left. Hence most of what you see is trolling.

She's still on my "yes" list *shrugs*

In a world where an Idea can get you killed, Thinking is the most dangerous act of all.

Hi, Crashnbur (1.00 / 1) (#36)
by itsbruce on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 04:47:15 PM EST

Welcome back

--It is impolite to tell a man who is carrying you on his shoulders that his head smells.

You forgot one (5.00 / 2) (#37)
by klash on Mon Feb 11, 2002 at 06:33:55 PM EST

  • Preface all replies with "I'll bite." This will cause me to hate you.

How to Generate Hate on Kuro5hin | 38 comments (27 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden)
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