Kuro5hin.org: technology and culture, from the trenches
create account | help/FAQ | contact | links | search | IRC | site news
[ Everything | Diaries | Technology | Science | Culture | Politics | Media | News | Internet | Op-Ed | Fiction | Meta | MLP ]
We need your support: buy an ad | premium membership

[P]
Beer.Kuro5hin.org

By wiredog in Meta
Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 01:29:28 AM EST
Tags: Kuro5hin.org (all tags)
Kuro5hin.org

That's right. Kuro5hin Beer™. If Rusty needs money to keep running, why not? But then comes the first question: What kind of beer? A light American Lager? A dark Irish Stout? Wheat beer? Several varieties? Perhaps something seasonal as well? Should it be brewed by Rusty himself, or should it be a re-labeled corporate beer? If the latter, could the corporation actually provide sponsorship dollars to Kuro5hin, as is done with PBS?


How would we advertise Kuro5hin Beer™? Have Kuro5hin Beer Busts™ in cities across the planet? TV advertising(The Kuro5hin Toads™?)? Magazines? Pop-ups/unders on web sites?

It might not work, not everyone here drinks beer, and some of us might be opposed, on principle, to re-labeled corporate beer. Perhaps Big Beer™ might be afraid that associating with a bunch of scruffy looking perl hackers would drive off other customers.

But, if we do construct a win/win, then we will have innovated a new internet business model that would be long-term sustainable through the convergence and synergy of web journalism and alcoholic malt beverages! Think of the possibilities!

Sponsors

Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure

Login

Poll
Kuro5hin Products
o Beer 36%
o Bourbon 15%
o Everclear (for the truly hardcore) 12%
o Soda (for the lightweights) 19%
o Bottled Maine Islander Tap Water 16%

Votes: 187
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Kuro5hin
o Also by wiredog


Display: Sort:
Beer.Kuro5hin.org | 130 comments (116 topical, 14 editorial, 1 hidden)
Reminds me of Wally's dotcom business plan (4.50 / 6) (#1)
by DesiredUsername on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:15:11 PM EST

From Dilbert.

Wally: I intend to be the Internet's premier source of ham sandwiches.
Dilbert: Will you deliver?
Wally: No, you'd have to pick them up.

Play 囲碁

Drink it while on K5! (4.75 / 24) (#2)
by Wondertoad on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:18:24 PM EST

But don't drink it while in the act of posting. Nor should you drink while reading, updating your diary, or preferences management. You should only drink it while reading the submissions queue or while voting on comments.

You see, doctors say you should only drink in moderation.


LOL! (4.20 / 10) (#11)
by epepke on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:25:53 PM EST

It made me thin of something else. Why is it that when I click on "moderate submissions," none of the submissions are ever moderate?


The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
An addition to the quotes file... (3.00 / 1) (#18)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:37:09 PM EST

Why is it that when I click on "moderate submissions," none of the submissions are ever moderate?


Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
Good slogan (4.20 / 10) (#16)
by ODiV on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:34:42 PM EST

Kuro5hin Beer
Drink in moderation

--
[ odiv.net ]
[ Parent ]
potential .sig: (none / 0) (#125)
by ethereal on Sun Apr 07, 2002 at 01:19:06 PM EST

If you're drinking, reply, don't moderate.

--

Every time you read this, God wishes k5 had a "hide sigs" option. Please, think of the
[
Parent ]

Very, very interesting.... (4.12 / 8) (#3)
by Kayser Soze on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:20:07 PM EST

I gave this story a +1 FP because it brings up the point of supporting kuro5hin through product sales.

Waht if we were to set up a storefront, as a part of kuro5hin, which carries products made by it's users? A percentage of sales could go to kuroshin.org to support it's operation (a.k.a. rusty's lunch money). An auction site would also be an option.

If we were to offer products created by the users, we could perhaps vote on what should and should not be showcased.

I would be interested in people's comments on this idea.


"If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things." - Rene Descartes

Yes (4.75 / 4) (#12)
by rusty on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:27:27 PM EST

That is, in fact, phase three of The Plan. (Sounds evil when I put it like that, doesn't it?) After we get the new subscriptions running comes the store, and I've been thinking about trying to do something like that. Either reselling things made by K5ers, or having some kind of an "idea queue" or both.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
That comes right after (4.00 / 3) (#17)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:35:03 PM EST

Phase two, right?

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
No comment (none / 0) (#106)
by rusty on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 03:24:43 AM EST

I'm afraid I cannot comment on that at this time. May we see your identification please?

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
One suggestion (3.00 / 1) (#64)
by John Milton on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:33:20 PM EST

I believe I mentioned this before, but I think you should set up a special queue and sell help to people doing reports and other homework. I like helping people with crap anyways, and there seems to be a thriving market for essays and reports online. Of course, there's the moral issue of cheating, but there are plenty of other companies selling the same service. On the plus side, it would relieve some of the boredom between dry spells.


"When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


[ Parent ]
good news (none / 0) (#101)
by adiffer on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 03:38:59 PM EST

I would offer my stuff.
Right now, you could name your cut.
-Dream Big. --Grow Up.
[ Parent ]
Homebrew (3.00 / 4) (#4)
by epcraig on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:21:04 PM EST

With about three months lead time, a home brewer could brew up a few cases, or a keg, if so equipped, and label it to her liking (with due honor to appropriate trademarks, of course).
There is no EugeneFreeNet.org, there is an efn.org
If you want to call it beer.kuro5hin.org... (4.00 / 4) (#5)
by Hong Kong Phooey on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:22:33 PM EST

...American lager would be out of the question. Something about truth in advertising.

Beer is beer (3.00 / 2) (#7)
by Ken Pompadour on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:23:51 PM EST

I'm sure Rusty could import hops and water if American commodities aren't up to snuff. ;-)

...The target is countrymen, friends and family... they have to die too. - candid trhurler
[ Parent ]
What about (4.66 / 3) (#8)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:24:10 PM EST

American.Beer.Kuro5hin.org and Real.Beer.Kuro5hin.org?

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
Following that logic... (4.00 / 3) (#47)
by mauftarkie on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:58:28 PM EST

... and then there's root.beer.kuro5hin.org for the kiddies and/or people who abstain from alcohol. After all, we don't want to shun them, now do we?

--
Without you I'm one step closer to happiness without violence.
Without you I'm one step closer to innocence without consequence.


[ Parent ]
don't forget (none / 0) (#59)
by CodeWright on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:42:30 PM EST

ginger beer, birch beer, or cinnamon beer.

[406@k5] NON ILLEGITIMI CARBORUNDUM EST
[ Parent ]
Ginger beer (4.00 / 2) (#75)
by bzbb on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 07:38:42 PM EST

I have a case of the most wonderful ginger beer. It's called Dangerous Ginger Beer, and it will kick your ass. So load with ginger it burn on the way down, and the smell can be felt as it travel through the nasal passages.

It is great stuff, and cleans sinus out beautifully. It's not a beer for chugging but for slowly drinking, and leaving breathing time between sips.


-- It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."

Samuel Adams
[ Parent ]

It can be done! (4.25 / 4) (#6)
by Wiccabilly on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:23:00 PM EST

I'm not so sure if it OUGHT to be done but it's certainly doable. Randy Cassingham has been selling products related to his This Is True site and he has survived the dotcom bust just fine. Also succeeding on this front is Top Five with their funny Letterman-style lists, although they've had to cut back recently.

Cassingham, I know, sells products not directly related to his site. He provides Get Out of Hell Free cards in the style of Monopoly's get out of jail free cards.

But beer? I dunno... Why not dildos? I KNOW I can sell those. ;)

SexToys.Kuro5hin.Org! (5.00 / 2) (#10)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:25:31 PM EST

Yeah Baby!

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
outcall-hookers.kuro5hin.org [NT] (2.50 / 2) (#13)
by Hong Kong Phooey on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:28:01 PM EST



[ Parent ]
eeeew! (5.00 / 1) (#56)
by ucblockhead on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:04:28 PM EST

Ya know, Kuro5hin is about the last thing I want to be thinking about when I'm having sex...
-----------------------
This is k5. We're all tools - duxup
[ Parent ]
Hmmmm (4.55 / 9) (#9)
by rusty on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:24:31 PM EST

That's not such a bad idea, actually. There's at least three excellent microbrews here in Portland, one of which (Geary's) I'm especially fond of. I wonder if they'd do a batch of K5 beer...

Course then you get into all the issues of selling alcohol, and selling alcohol online no less. It probably wouldn't be worth the licensing expense and hassle.

For the record, it would have to be an IPA, I think. :-)

____
Not the real rusty

Another (serious) idea (4.60 / 5) (#15)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:31:50 PM EST

Ever tried to go for a grant? Lots of non-government groups give grants. Cato Institute type places. OK, you wouldn't want "Thanks to a grant from Libertarian whackos" at the top of the page, but something like that. Pew Charitable Trusts gives money to PBS...

You might have to be a legal non-profit to do that.

As opposed to your current status as a real non-profit. ;)

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]

I have a good recipie for an IPA (none / 0) (#37)
by Altus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:23:40 PM EST

although Im not sure if Id be willing to part with it... its my favorite.

mmmm hops :)
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
[ Parent ]
Portland eh? (2.00 / 2) (#44)
by mister slim on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:41:06 PM EST

Oddly enough, I first started reading k5 after moving from Maine to Portland OR. Now I'm back here in Portland ME for a brief stop-over on my way to Bar Harbor (town sport: tourist fleecing) for the summer.

heh... stalking opportunities...
__

"Fucking sheep, the lot of you. Yeah, and your little dogs too." -Rogerborg
[ Parent ]

He lives on (none / 0) (#45)
by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:50:22 PM EST

Peakes Isle...

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
then go non-alcoholic (none / 0) (#60)
by CodeWright on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:43:32 PM EST

like root/ginger-beer

[406@k5] NON ILLEGITIMI CARBORUNDUM EST
[ Parent ]
Selling alcohol online (4.00 / 1) (#63)
by John Milton on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:25:44 PM EST

The Internet Law Journal has an article on that.


"When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


[ Parent ]
But in Blighty we have companies... (none / 0) (#89)
by rleyton on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 02:06:38 AM EST

  • Here
  • and Here

    Mmmm. beer.

    Prefer it in pubs though. Takes too long online ;-)

    --
    Ooooooooooooooh! What does this button do!? - DeeDee, Dexters Lab.
    My Website
    [ Parent ]

  • My 2 cents (2.50 / 4) (#14)
    by dennis on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:28:10 PM EST

    I don't know what kind of beer you should sell, but I do know you should sell it in kegs.

    A couple things you don't understand. (3.00 / 2) (#19)
    by BadDoggie on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:38:36 PM EST

    I kinda like this story for the entertainment value, but the write-up has two glaring flaws:
    1. The use of "corporate beer" as a way of slagging off Anheuser-Busch and a few other major brewers. Most smaller beers are brewed by a few major specialist brewers in Pittsburgh according to the particular recipe. Even Sam Adams did this before they gfot big. Anyway, the big guys don't rebrand like this and would never do so for something with such a pathetically small market -- the paperwork to start the idea would cost more than any expected return over ten years.
    2. What percentage of K5'ers actually drink anything but the cheapest stuff available? Betcha we're talking single digits... behind the decimal point!
    woof.

    Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
    I brew my own (2.00 / 1) (#30)
    by Altus on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:08:30 PM EST


    But I used to buy good beer...

    now I dont buy beer at all.

    Also. I would be happy to develop some recipies for Kuro5hin brew. I cant realy imagine a type of brew that would suit this place effectively... perhaps a line of beers would be a better bet.

    What about the rest of you homebrewers out there?


    "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
    [ Parent ]
    Me (none / 0) (#55)
    by CaptainSuperBoy on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:01:27 PM EST

    I drink good beer. So do a lot of my friends. I'm an ale drinker, my favorites are probably Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Harpoon IPA and Harpoon Ale. Although every now and then you just need to drink 64 ounces of Olde English '800' and break stuff.

    --
    jimmysquid.com - I take pictures.
    [ Parent ]
    Um... (4.00 / 1) (#68)
    by trhurler on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:41:42 PM EST

    Actually, most of the smaller beers I know of are not brewed anywhere near Pittsburgh. If they were, they'd say so somewhere in the fine print. That whole "law" thing and all. In any case, Sam Adams hasn't been "small" in many years by any measure except "is it as big as A-B or Miller," which is a useless way to measure in that market.

    Also, I bet you'd be surprised at what percentage of k5ers drink quality beer. I'd say beer discussions outstrip caffeine discussions here, which says quite a lot given that we've got a lot of self-styled "geeks" trolling around, and those beer discussions always center around finding good beers. I'm guessing that greater than 80% of k5 readers are between 20 and 30 years of age, which is prime good beer drinking age these days in the US, and remember that a lot of k5ers are from places outside the US, too.

    They say the "good beer fad" is over, but oddly enough, I see more people drinking it than ever - they just don't brag on it now.

    --
    'God dammit, your posts make me hard.' --LilDebbie

    [ Parent ]
    Beer fad (5.00 / 1) (#86)
    by TRy the egg rOLL on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:50:14 PM EST

    They say the "good beer fad" is over

    I guess that was the whole 'microbrewery' thing in the 90s. It's true that before then people mainly drank mass-market beers, at least in the US. It wasn't necessarily bad beer, there are some good beers from large breweries although they're mostly imports. Anchor Brewing in San Francisco is one brewer that's been around for a while.

    I guess the early or mid 90s is when beers like Sam Adams, Pete's, Red Hook took off. There were also cigar and weed fads.. funny, I still drink good beer, smoke nice cigars and enjoy my fine sinsemilla.

    --
    "I am seriously impressed with your gaping ass art."  -oc3
    [ Parent ]

    beer (none / 0) (#72)
    by ucblockhead on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:39:26 PM EST

    Add me to the digit. I've only purchased one six-pack of corporate pisswater since leaving college. (And even then, we bought Heinekin unless finances forced is to resort to Ralph's generic brank beer. ("Lucky lager" repackaged.))

    My wife's an avid gardener into organics. There's no way I was gonna waste good beer as snailbait.

    And you forget: a significant proportion of k5ers are drunken brits. They don't drink crappy American corporate beer over there.

    Anyway, having visited many of the actual breweries that make my personal standards, I can say for sure that they were brewed onsite. Those big tanks aren't for show...
    -----------------------
    This is k5. We're all tools - duxup
    [ Parent ]

    You have NO idea... (none / 0) (#96)
    by BadDoggie on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 10:41:20 AM EST

    "Bud" (not "Budweiser" due to a legal fight) is quite popular and trendy in the UK. So are a lot of other crap libations which are basically like Zima.

    That said, I do miss good bitter beer.

    woof.

    Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
    [ Parent ]

    But (none / 0) (#112)
    by spiralx on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 07:25:54 AM EST

    Only with people that aren't smart enough to drink Budvar. Now there's a quality beer.

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    Count me in too (none / 0) (#108)
    by rusty on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 03:31:58 AM EST

    Bud, etc, never touch the stuff. Some of my friends still try to make me drink it when that's all there is, but I think they're all finally starting to understand that I like good beer, for the taste, and would rather not have any than suck down a Bud Light.

    I'm generally pretty impressed by the taste in beers expressed by K5ers who have shown a preference.

    ____
    Not the real rusty
    [ Parent ]

    Strangely, my vote was to "Abstain" [nt] (4.20 / 5) (#20)
    by greyrat on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:38:48 PM EST


    ~ ~ ~
    Did I actually read the article? No. No I didn't.
    "Watch out for me nobbystyles, Gromit!"

    dis.org brew (4.50 / 2) (#21)
    by pietra on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:39:57 PM EST

    For a pointer or two on how it's been done before (to uh, unclear effect), I point you here.

    Watch for Trademark. (4.50 / 4) (#22)
    by RegisteredJustForThisComment on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:41:06 PM EST

    In an episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, I saw a character drinking a brand of beer called Kuroshio. I'm not sure if this is an actual brand of Japanese beer or a fictional one created for the series, but it might be an idea to do some Trademark searches for similar names. Intellectual property lawyers are bloodythirty everywhere these days, not just in the US. Common sense doesn't really factor into it -- remember when the owners of a Mexican portal site called Que Pasa got sued by the owners of the ancient US sitcom What's Happening, for cross-language trademark violation?

    Yayy Misato!! (5.00 / 1) (#31)
    by wji on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:10:29 PM EST

    Well, I think 'kuro5hin' is far enough from 'kuroshio', especially because 'kuro5hin' is derived from 'corrosion', not from Japanese.

    In conclusion, the Powerpuff Girls are a reactionary, pseudo-feminist enterprise.
    [ Parent ]
    Really? (none / 0) (#33)
    by rodoke3 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:17:14 PM EST

    I had no idea. BTW, how the hell do you pronounce "kuro5hin"?

    I take umbrage with such statments and am induced to pull out archaic and over pompous words to refute such insipid vitriol. -- kerinsky


    [ Parent ]
    kuro-five-hin (none / 0) (#34)
    by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:19:02 PM EST

    Actually, "corrosion".

    Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
    [ Parent ]
    Merci beaucoup (1.00 / 1) (#36)
    by rodoke3 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:21:08 PM EST


    I take umbrage with such statments and am induced to pull out archaic and over pompous words to refute such insipid vitriol. -- kerinsky


    [ Parent ]
    Well (none / 0) (#52)
    by wji on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:47:21 PM EST

    You can say "corrosion", but I prefer something halfway between "corrosion" and "kurozhin". Sort of like a Japanese guy trying to say "corrosion". Don't ask me why.

    In conclusion, the Powerpuff Girls are a reactionary, pseudo-feminist enterprise.
    [ Parent ]
    pronunciation (none / 0) (#110)
    by isaac_akira on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 06:01:33 AM EST

    i pronounce it "kayfahive" =)

    [ Parent ]
    Previous threads on pronunciation of Kuro5hin (none / 0) (#114)
    by pin0cchio on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 08:02:35 AM EST

    how the hell do you pronounce "kuro5hin"?

    This has been discussed to death; just ask Google.


    lj65
    [ Parent ]
    Kuroshio (4.50 / 2) (#105)
    by rusty on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 03:20:55 AM EST

    The "Kuroshio," or the "black current" of Japan is a 2-4 knot warm ocean current that flows northeast from Taiwan along the coast of Japan. Its warm waters help moderate the climate of Japan, much like the North Atlantic Drift does for Western Europe.

    I had never heard of this when I named the site, incidentally. I had no idea that "kuro5hin" was even that close to a couple actual Japanese words. Of course now I see it everywhere. It pops up briefly in Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues under the sea, for instance.

    ____
    Not the real rusty
    [ Parent ]

    There is a Corsican beer named "Pietra" (none / 0) (#121)
    by pietra on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 08:10:12 PM EST

    according to a friend of mine who went to Corsica on vacation and was amused to no end to see "Pietra" beer bottles all over. He was going to get me a tshirt with the logo on it, but unfortunately the brewery was on the other side of the island. Alas.

    [ Parent ]
    Rum! (3.00 / 1) (#23)
    by ocelotbob on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:41:17 PM EST

    What, no rum? Rum is the drink of the gods - it is impossible to have a good cuba libre without a good rum. Personally, I like the stuff put out by the world-renowned Albertson's Distilleries, but I'd be willing to experiment with k5 rum. K5 gin would also be useful - you can't have a martini, or even a gin and tonic without gin.

    Why... in my day, the idea wasn't to have a comfortable sub[missive]...
    --soylentdas

    K5 Martini (4.33 / 3) (#25)
    by wiredog on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:45:19 PM EST

    Shaken, not stirred. Preferred by British Secret Agents everywhere.

    Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
    [ Parent ]
    Agreed... (4.00 / 1) (#26)
    by ubernostrum on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:45:56 PM EST

    I am also a rum lover, but on my poor student budget all I can afford is the occasional bottle of Captain Morgan...a reasonably-priced k5 rum could get my money.


    --
    You cooin' with my bird?
    [ Parent ]

    That'll never happen (none / 0) (#107)
    by rusty on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 03:28:47 AM EST

    Due to some... unfortunate incidents in my youth (about which no more will be said here as my whole damn extended family reads this. Hi Mom!) there will never ever be such a thing as K5 Rum. I can't even stand to be in the same room as rum. Just typing about it is making me queasy.

    ____
    Not the real rusty
    [ Parent ]
    The Rum-Cake Flambe Incident (none / 0) (#115)
    by wiredog on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 10:53:22 AM EST

    Perhaps?

    Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
    [ Parent ]
    Yes, Gin! (5.00 / 6) (#28)
    by Rand Race on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:01:57 PM EST

    We could call it KuroGin!

    I once ordered a cuba libre at a Mexican restraunt and they didn't know what it was.


    "Question with boldness even the existence of God; because if there be one, He must approve the homage of Reason rather than that of blindfolded Fear." - Thomas Jefferson
    [ Parent ]

    KuroGin! LOL! Oh, my sides.. (none / 0) (#65)
    by carbon on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:35:39 PM EST

    I guess that's a lot like the Sluggy Freelance system for determining if another person is a "Sluggite".

    Sluggy Freelance:
    Query : Beer?
    Response : Beer!

    Kuro5hin:
    Query : Kuro5hin?
    Response : KuroGin!


    Wasn't Dr. Claus the bad guy on Inspector Gadget? - dirvish
    [ Parent ]
    I'll get modded down, but.... (4.66 / 3) (#67)
    by John Milton on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:39:45 PM EST

    how about Jin Wicked. :þ


    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    [ Parent ]
    Or (5.00 / 1) (#98)
    by epepke on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 01:30:42 PM EST

    Kuro6in


    The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


    [ Parent ]
    Pseudo-related... (none / 0) (#39)
    by Kayser Soze on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:31:17 PM EST

    "Cuba Libre" litrally means "Free Cuba" in Spanish (as in a Cuba which is free...not a call to action).

    As a joke, we call it a "mentira"...which means a lie. :-)


    "If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things." - Rene Descartes
    [ Parent ]

    Sound like a plan to me (4.44 / 9) (#27)
    by John Milton on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 01:56:32 PM EST

    Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
    Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
    Wouldn't you like to get away?
    Sometimes you want to go
    Where everybody knows your nick,
    and they're always glad you clicked.
    You wanna be where you can see,
    our troubles are all the same
    You wanna be where everybody knows
    Your nick.
    You wanna go where people know,
    people are all the same,
    You wanna go where everybody knows
    your nick.

    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    to make it rhyme (4.00 / 2) (#43)
    by fn0rd on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:36:02 PM EST

    ... you're not alone in being sick You wanna be where everybody knows Your nick. You wanna go where people know you as yet another trolling prick ...

    This fatwa brought to you by the Agnostic Jihad
    [ Parent ]

    rofl (none / 0) (#48)
    by bsmfh on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:17:42 PM EST

    great work! as a miltonian, i am proud to see such work on k5 -- you are hereby nominated for membership in the k5 kabal (which i myself do not belong to). your satire exceeds even the humor of this story, which gave +1 for humor and the debate about beer, which is always entertaining.

    --b

    [ Parent ]

    A miltonite?! (none / 0) (#66)
    by John Milton on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 05:36:37 PM EST

    I finally have the cult I've always wanted. Mass suicide at ten. Hope you like kool-aid.


    "When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


    [ Parent ]
    I can't resist... (none / 0) (#81)
    by Lord of the Wasteland on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:24:49 PM EST

    Malt does more than Milton can, to justify God's ways to man

    --A.E. Housman "Terrence This is Stupid Stuff"

    [ Parent ]

    Kuro5hin Beer.....occasionally refreshing! (4.83 / 24) (#29)
    by MattGWU on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:08:26 PM EST

    Whether you're ragging on the government or mindlessly propagating links, Kuro5hin Beer is the brew for you! Made with only the choicest barley, hops, right-wing conspiracies, malts, and sparkling Swiss glacier water (so as not to be too US-Centric), Kuro5hin beer is clearly the lesser of two evils! Kuro5hin Beer is smooth, occasionally light (but lacking any sense of humor...k5 is for SERIOUS work), and free of exploitive animal products.
    Kuro5hin beer is beechwood aged until it becomes jaded and cynical with an aftertaste that will leave you feeling more or less fulfilled, if a little irritated. Kuro5hin Beer is the perfect choice for any occasion: take it to the soccer match, to the protests, or just enjoy it while sitting around with friends discussing non-controversial art and the evils of a capitalistic society in which the poor Working Man feeds off the Crumbs of the rich while being led like veal calves to a slaughter of corperate lies and ignorance fed to them as the excrement of the unaccountable puppet governments in their Ivory Towers. Kuro5hin beer is for the fun times!

    Kuro5hin Beer: We Know What's Best For Everybody!

    +1 But.. (3.00 / 2) (#32)
    by m0rzo on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:12:26 PM EST

    It's illegal to sell home brew isn't it? Something to do with duties.. Well that's the case in the UK.


    My last sig was just plain offensive.

    Yes (5.00 / 1) (#35)
    by Lord of the Wasteland on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:19:37 PM EST

    It is illegal in the United States as well. I seem to remember it is illegal to barter homebrew as well. You can give it away though--makes you in demand for parties.

    [ Parent ]
    As long as you pay the excise taxes, though (none / 0) (#38)
    by leviramsey on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:28:29 PM EST

    It should be legal. You might have to register with the BATF, also.



    [ Parent ]
    I think you need a licence. (none / 0) (#41)
    by m0rzo on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:32:14 PM EST

    To brew or distill to sell to the general public.


    My last sig was just plain offensive.
    [ Parent ]

    Cheap or prohibitively expensive? (none / 0) (#113)
    by pin0cchio on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 07:57:37 AM EST

    The term "licence" can refer to relatively cheap licences (driver's licence, GNU GPL) or to prohibitively expensive licences (patent licence, proprietary copyright licence, etc). How much do these brewing licences cost? Are they priced for economies of scale of multinational conglomerates (such as Philip Morris of the Miller brands) and designed to make homebrew completely unviable?


    lj65
    [ Parent ]
    Legalities (4.00 / 1) (#74)
    by ucblockhead on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:44:50 PM EST

    Homebrew was completely illegal until the late seventies or early eighties, when they changed the law to allow brewing for personal consumption. Not only is it illegal to sell or barter homebrewed beer, but there are limits to the amount you are allowed to make in a year. I don't recall the exact number, other than it was about three "batches" of the size I used to make. 30 gallons? Anyway, this part of the law is rarely enforced.
    -----------------------
    This is k5. We're all tools - duxup
    [ Parent ]
    Batches (4.00 / 1) (#78)
    by Lord of the Wasteland on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:15:59 PM EST

    Either the law has changed since you did it or you made massive batches. The legal limit for one person in 200 gallons a year, if you make it with someone in the same househole it's something like 350.

    [ Parent ]
    perhaps (none / 0) (#87)
    by ucblockhead on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 12:13:30 AM EST

    This was about ten years ago.
    -----------------------
    This is k5. We're all tools - duxup
    [ Parent ]
    A stout would be best (4.75 / 4) (#40)
    by flesh99 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:31:27 PM EST

    Stouts are the easiest beer to brew by a long shot as the heaviness and flavor can cover up small mistakes with ease. Stouts are also the best beer around. The second choice would have to a bock style beer. I have made a couple of stouts and they turned out allright, not the level of a Young's Double Chocolate Stout, but decent nonetheless. I think it is a great idea. You could get someone in a state where it is easy to a microbrewery license to set it all up. The hard part is shipping state to state legally.


    It takes 47 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull the trigger of a finely tuned sniper rifle.
    Types of beers (5.00 / 1) (#79)
    by Lord of the Wasteland on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:21:46 PM EST

    Aren't most bock style beers lagered? That's a much bigger pain in the ass because you have to do temperature control at lower than room temperature. I would say that IPAs are the easiest to homebrew because the only real hard part is selecting good hops. Once you get a good hop combination, that flavor dominates the beer. (Personal recommendation: Willimette (sp?), finish with Cascade)

    [ Parent ]
    IPAs (none / 0) (#82)
    by flesh99 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:38:44 PM EST

    Bocks are harder to brew yes, but much more forgiving. IPAs are easier than bocks but harder than stouts. A stout will hide some pretty large mistakes, the problem with brewing stouts for sale is the market is a lot smaller than other kinds of beer. You are probably right for a project like this, an IPA would be the best choice. But for a first beer at home, a stout is the easiest and most forgiving to start with, the lighter the beer the harder it is to brew is a good general rule as the lighter and more subtle the flavor is the more it amplifies mistakes made in the process. The hardest beer like brew would probably be a cider, I am looking forward to trying to brew one soon though. You might consider doing something very easy like mead on your first time out, mead is easy and tastes great and you can get more alcohol into a wine type process as well. Plus if you have any festivals in your area, mead is always a great hit at them and the inital setup is cheaper than beer.


    It takes 47 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull the trigger of a finely tuned sniper rifle.
    [ Parent ]
    Mead (none / 0) (#128)
    by bored on Fri Apr 12, 2002 at 04:19:38 PM EST

    I've been brewing beer for a few months now. I've considered Mead but my understanding is that it takes much longer to ferment, and the taste is hard to get right. That makes it sound harder to me.

    [ Parent ]
    Mead is dirt easy (none / 0) (#129)
    by flesh99 on Sun Apr 14, 2002 at 02:16:17 AM EST

    If you mess up the flavor slightly you simply server it hot with mulling spice. 90 days does a decent fermentation to be honest. I like 6 months a little better, I have a process though, it has more alcohol than anything you get off the shelf and is great served warm :)


    It takes 47 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull the trigger of a finely tuned sniper rifle.
    [ Parent ]
    Depends somewhat on locality. (none / 0) (#95)
    by claudius on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 08:35:48 AM EST

    This likely will depend on a number of factors, such as the what the water is like in the area. Where I live, for example, the mineral content and pH of the local tap water is ideal for ales (pale ales in particular turn out wickedly good), but it's pretty marginal for brewing a decent stout. One could doctor this with chemicals or shop around for good bottled water, but then this starts becoming sufficiently complicated that the initial reasons for choosing stout are less clear.

    [ Parent ]
    Just don't get it.... (1.33 / 3) (#42)
    by lvogel on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:34:34 PM EST

    from the trenches. Or slashdot.
    -- ----------------------
    "When you're on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog!"

    -a dog
    Buds.kuro5hin.org.. (4.50 / 2) (#46)
    by Da Unicorn on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 02:51:17 PM EST

    Being a non drinker [alcohol] I'd consider buds to be of more interest.

    So would the DEA and your local DARE officer. Always a catch somewhere.

    Not that I would do anything illegal or immoral.

    MY$0.02

    Da

    Watch it! (4.00 / 2) (#49)
    by alge on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:20:30 PM EST

    scruffy looking perl hackers
    Meep! No perl here! Go away foul language! *huggle ruby*

    vi er ikke lenger elsket her

    Should be a bitter in the british sense... (4.75 / 4) (#50)
    by CluelessNewbie on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:20:53 PM EST

    How about calling it - Old Trollbait
    -------------------------------------------------
    "Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a 'orrible cunt. Me."
    BrickTop
    Don't drink beer (4.33 / 6) (#51)
    by Kellnerin on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:34:53 PM EST

    But I would buy K5offee.

    --sometimes you pick your gods, sometimes the gods pick you -odin--
    Type of beer (3.00 / 3) (#53)
    by ucblockhead on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 03:58:46 PM EST

    Given the name of the site, I'd say that a Red was the most obvious choice.

    (Suggestion has nothing to do with the fact that I'm partial to reds...no, nothing at all...really...)
    -----------------------
    This is k5. We're all tools - duxup

    I thought we all drank Cristal. NT (none / 0) (#54)
    by bobpence on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:00:30 PM EST


    "Interesting. No wait, the other thing: tedious." - Bender
    "K5-St- Pauli-Girl" beer (2.50 / 2) (#57)
    by mami on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:36:26 PM EST

    cool beer from mami's hometown...

    Tough poll... (3.00 / 1) (#58)
    by csmacd on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:42:05 PM EST

    Love Bourbon, Love beer. K5 Koffee is a great idea, too.

    Hmmm...making me thirsty.... Must be noon somewhere!


    Write in vote (2.80 / 5) (#61)
    by tarsand on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 04:56:27 PM EST

    K5 Absinthe.


    "Oh, no, I agree with tarsand!" -- trhurler
    Blech! (none / 0) (#120)
    by pietra on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 08:04:00 PM EST

    Absinthe bad. Absinthe evil. Never had such a wretched hangover in all my life. No no no.

    [ Parent ]
    Not beer; Kuro5hin Mead! (3.00 / 3) (#70)
    by Patrick Bateman 10005 on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:03:49 PM EST

    Mmmm, honey...

    honey mead (none / 0) (#88)
    by eudas on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 01:37:07 AM EST

    from drinking 1/3 to 1/2 of a bottle, i got the distinct feeling that one could develop one hell of a hangover from it.

    my $0.02
    eudas
    "We're placing this wood in your ass for the good of the world" -- mrgoat
    [ Parent ]
    Whatever it is... (3.50 / 2) (#71)
    by Mr. Piccolo on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:29:49 PM EST

    it better be black. Beer you can see through is for wusses.

    The BBC would like to apologise for the following comment.


    Wheat beer (5.00 / 1) (#85)
    by Canthros on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 11:28:22 PM EST

    While I like [Guinness] stout, I like Franziskaner Hefeweiss better.

    It's think, and it's bready, and you can't see through it, but it's not black. Mmmm....



    --
    It's now obvious you are either A) Gay or B) Female, or possibly both.
    RyoCokey
    [ Parent ]
    The dilbert way of making bussiness (4.50 / 2) (#73)
    by satch on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 06:43:56 PM EST

    I had no choice but to laugh while reading this kinda corporate dilbert-like sentence:

    if we do construct a win/win, then we will have innovated a new internet business model that would be long-term sustainable through the convergence and synergy of web journalism and alcoholic malt beverages!

    Was supposed to be funny? Maybe is this some kind of dogbert way to rule the world?

    The One True Beer.... (none / 0) (#83)
    by daystar on Thu Apr 04, 2002 at 10:45:33 PM EST

    Is Boddington's.

    Okay, TECHnically, it's an ale, but who's keeping track? It's a wonderful thing. I will be forever in your debt, Kevin, for introducing me to it. I will rub your fuzzy, balding little head at work tomorrow in gratitude, whether you like it or not.

    Wouldn't be the first time.

    --
    There is no God, and I am his prophet.

    Ick. Get real beer instead :-) (5.00 / 3) (#91)
    by Khendon on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 03:17:17 AM EST

    Boddingtons is a bitter for lager drinkers. It's about the blandest, nastiest, most horrifically commercialised ales I've ever tasted.

    Hobgoblin, Black Sheep, Tim Taylor's Landlord, Old Peculier... *those* are decent beers

    [ Parent ]
    We benighted Americans (none / 0) (#102)
    by epepke on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 04:24:31 PM EST

    I'm afraid it's hard to do better than Boddingtons, sometimes even in a can. It is a bit weak for my taste, but I'll get it when there's nothing else available. Old Peculier is good, but we can only get it in bottled; I've never seen it on tap in the U.S. Sometimes you can get Fuller's ESB on tap. It used to be possible to get Old Speckled Hen and Abbot Ale on tap a couple of years ago, but I haven't seen it since, at least in the south. (One publican I know purchased the very last Florida kegs of Abbot Ale at half-price and passed the savings on to us. It was a nice time. Abbot Ale cheaper than Icehouse!)


    The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett


    [ Parent ]
    Weak is good! (none / 0) (#127)
    by SIGFPE on Thu Apr 11, 2002 at 01:55:17 PM EST

    Americans are getting the hang of beers these days with microbrews. But microbrew beers are still too strong. They frequently taste primarily of alcohol and you really can't drink them all night long without getting very ill (<insert obvious retort here>). British beers are more of a social thing - you can fit in a quick pint or two at lunch or on the way home and still be coherent. I find British beers more refreshing too as a result - even if not chilled.

    Pretty much the same beers are available in CA as where you are. I've seen Fuller's in a few places, Abbot and Old Speckled hen once. The one other British beer I've seen in CA is Bass though I wouldn't choose that myself. Boddington's is pretty common and is usually my choice in the States.

    Of course British beer also needs to be a a little weaker becase the pints are 20 floz.
    SIGFPE
    [ Parent ]

    Boddy's is the Bud of England (none / 0) (#117)
    by georgeha on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 11:01:15 AM EST

    Tateless and ubiquitous, it reminds me of a darker, flatter Zima or Bud. Ick, try Ruddles, its much tastier.

    [ Parent ]
    My alternative preferences (4.50 / 4) (#90)
    by Cal Bunny on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 02:35:57 AM EST

    hash.kuro5hin.org ecstacy.kuro5hin.org shrooms.kuro5hin.org crystal.kuro5hin.org

    ^cb^
    k5 stamped pills (none / 0) (#111)
    by spiralx on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 07:22:14 AM EST

    You could have a nice "k5" on them... I'd certainly buy some of those! :)

    You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey
    [ Parent ]

    That nice bridge logo (none / 0) (#119)
    by scruffyMark on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 06:01:04 PM EST

    Is that a corroded and collapsing suspension bridge? That's what it looks like to me, anyway. Stamp that on pills, blotters, even into blocks of hash...

    [ Parent ]
    Open Source Beer (4.00 / 2) (#100)
    by Dolohov on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 03:07:44 PM EST

    I'm surprised not to have seen this suggested:

    Instead of selling beer, sell everything needed to do homebrewed Kuro5hin beer, including specially mixed grain and pre-printed labels.

    Although, I personally think it'd be more appropriate to brand it Scoop, but hey...

    What kind? Welllll... (3.66 / 3) (#103)
    by localroger on Fri Apr 05, 2002 at 07:49:22 PM EST

    Seems like it should be a red ale, with a bright rusty color.

    I can haz blog!

    I vote for: delicious bourbon... (none / 0) (#109)
    by panck on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 05:58:33 AM EST

    "Now Apu, Mrs. Simpson claims she forgot she was carrying that bottle of ...delicious bourbon, brownest of the brown liquors....so...tempting...what's that?....but I'm in the middle of a trial!" - Lionel Hutz

    I always wanted to create a brand of food and drink called "Internet". Much like the "Beer" brand beer you can buy on the cheap, it would just say "Internet" on the label...or something equally surreal.

    10 points for the first person to whip up the label for K5 brand Beer.


    Calling Driph! (none / 0) (#116)
    by wiredog on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 10:55:58 AM EST

    We need a label! Maybe a photoshopped/gimpped image?

    Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
    [ Parent ]
    I will drink it all. (none / 0) (#118)
    by subgenius on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 12:28:54 PM EST

    If we make a nice Belgian GranCru.

    Drive on.
    Drive On!
    Mead!!! I say... MEAD!!! (none / 0) (#122)
    by Matt Oneiros on Sat Apr 06, 2002 at 10:05:41 PM EST

    We could even have kuro5hin.org mead!

    The perfect slogan would be, "Kuro5hin.org, so goddamn sweet it might just make you sick."

    Now, I am not a marketing expert but I think the use of the coloquial sweet in a pun reguarding the flavour of the product ... pure genius.

    "kuro5hin mead, it'll get you drunk, provide significant nourishment and your puke will smell far superior to puke generated by other alcoholic beverages."

    That would be the text for a magazine add!
    muhahahahaaa

    Lobstery is not real
    signed the cow
    when stating that life is merely an illusion
    and that what you love is all that's real
    Drew Carey Show (none / 0) (#123)
    by King Salamander on Sun Apr 07, 2002 at 05:16:19 AM EST

    Any time I think about home/microbrewing I am reminded of Buzz Beer. Coffee+Beer.
    "Stay up and get get drunk all over again"

    but that would be copyright infringement...
    and i don't drink coffee.

    In a very real sense, *anyone* who makes a public issue out of the fact that they are involved with Linux in any way is seen as an advocate. (Derek Glidden)
    What I might buy in bulk (none / 0) (#124)
    by King Salamander on Sun Apr 07, 2002 at 05:21:52 AM EST

    I would definately go for some good mead. But a large amount would take too long to drink.
    I think my preference would be for a red ale, or a trappist ale.

    In a very real sense, *anyone* who makes a public issue out of the fact that they are involved with Linux in any way is seen as an advocate. (Derek Glidden)
    Maybe... (5.00 / 1) (#130)
    by Captain_Tenille on Thu May 16, 2002 at 04:04:03 PM EST

    It could be like that beer with Skittles in it. You know, Skittlebrau.
    ----
    /* You are not expected to understand this. */

    Man Vs. Nature: The Road to Victory!

    Beer.Kuro5hin.org | 130 comments (116 topical, 14 editorial, 1 hidden)
    Display: Sort:

    kuro5hin.org

    [XML]
    All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. The Rest 2000 - Present Kuro5hin.org Inc.
    See our legalese page for copyright policies. Please also read our Privacy Policy.
    Kuro5hin.org is powered by Free Software, including Apache, Perl, and Linux, The Scoop Engine that runs this site is freely available, under the terms of the GPL.
    Need some help? Email help@kuro5hin.org.
    My heart's the long stairs.

    Powered by Scoop create account | help/FAQ | mission | links | search | IRC | YOU choose the stories!