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Textad Haiku Contest: Results

By rusty in Meta
Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:51:59 AM EST
Tags: Kuro5hin.org (all tags)
Kuro5hin.org

Well, the textad haiku contest was by any account a roaring success. I had a lot of fun seeing the entries, a whole bunch of you obviously had some fun writing them, and K5 made some money. With a little more than 40 entires, this was a tough one to judge, and in my usual waffling nature, I can't help but call attention to some standouts before we get to the winners. So read on, and enjoy the occasional poetry. :-)


Special Recognition

There were a bunch of ads that were noteworthy for one reason or another. These don't actually win anything, just a special mention for being clever, as follows:

The Attempted Flattery Award goes to Niche, for this non-haiku which cleverly seeks to hide its own utter lack of haiku structure behind frequent mentions of your truly. I'm touched. It doesn't even qualify for the contest, but I'm touched nonetheless.

The award for Least Haiku-Like Haiku (given that the above ad didn't seem to even be trying) goes to wltr for this 4-3-6 beauty. If you still needed evidence that the human brain is a truly amazing thing, I point to the fact that we can even distinguish that as an attempt at haiku. 'Nuff said. ;-)

The Self-Hatred Award for the haiku which is most hostile to its own form goes to spiralx's bovine entry. As kuran42 put it, "absolutely no one was enlightened."

The hard-fought race for Most Half-Ass Attempt to Include a Season Word was won by a nose in the last line of a humble lich's ad for InTune  . I'm afraid that "in't" is not actually a valid contraction. Otherwise, I'm sure it would have been in contention for the big prize. Yup. Quite sure.

And rounding out the special mentions is a tie for Best Found Haiku for two ads that, were it not for the contest, no one would have even realized were haiku. seebs' Custom Computers (take out the slash, and it's just an everyday ad, like magic!), and lastfish's Redcode Warrior ad, which I'm still not sure is supposed to be a haiku at all. It is a perfect 5-7-5 though. Was that on purpose or not?

The Winners

Ok, with the goofy stuff out of the way, it's time to get to the real winners. I couldn't bring myself to just say "here's the winner and that's all," so instead I'm changing the rules at the very last second, and announcing not one but three winners, in the traditional win, place, and show slots. You might know them as first second and third. Third place will get a complementary 4,000 impressions, and second place 8,000. First will of course receive the original grand prize 20,000 free impresssions.

And the winners are...

Third Place

Third prize goes to gnovos for his ad, programming java.

programming java
steaming mugs of fresh brewed code
chill, jobless winter.

Drawing together earthy, wintry images, gnovos skillfully creates the mood of the unemployed programmer, a feeling many of us can perhaps sympathize with. The play on java the language/java the drink, while not altogether original, is subtly done and apropos. If you are in the market for a programmer with some culture and refinement, I'd have to say gnovos is your man.

Second Place

Second prize goes to adrianhon for this excellent ad for New Mars.

With whispering winds
Our Martian future awaits
Like buds under snow

The "whispering winds" in the first line will surely resonate with any science fiction reader and, cued by the title, immediately suggest terraforming and the possibility and promise of a fresh planet, empty of activity but tense with the knowlege of a future and a new beginning. This is borne out in the second line which offers a satisfying confirmation. The final line draws together the hope alluded to at the start, and the image of the snow which perhaps is the cold restraint of the current space exploration climate weighing down and freezing these buds of potential.

The ad is imbued with a sense of the conspicuous stillness of a yearning held tightly in check which perfectly captures the small but increasingly vocal efforts of Mars exploration proponents. There is a sense of action held back by stifling beauracracy, a tightly-wound coil ready to spring into action at any moment. Fine work.

First Place

And the moment you've all been waiting for... First prize goes to cyclopatra for her Foresight Institute ad.

Today we all wear
Clothing made of rice paper
Naked in the rain

The two major themes here are past/present and nature/technology, and they're both handled with great subtlety and maturity. "Today" implies that the poem refers to the present time, but the rest of the first two lines immediately contradict our common experience, creating a tension of time-frame, and setting up the "message from the future" feeling that blends in well with the Foresight Institute's mission.

Branching off from that intial tension is a secondary layer, with "clothing made from rice paper" beginning the nature/technology theme. Most of us, today, wear clothing made from petroleum or cotton. The second line points toward a future where, perhaps, nature and human technology are more in balance.

And finally, "Naked in the rain" ends with a refreshing note, reinforcing the harmony with nature theme and suggesting a cleansing, possibly of the human experience in the world.

Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to everyone who entered. I'll be in touch with the winners by email to work out how to claim their prizes. I think we'll be keeping the haiku ad type, because I get a kick out of it. So if it strikes your fancy, keep the haikus coming. Of course, regular ads are always welcome too. :-)

Sponsors

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Poll
My favorite was
o Niche's non-haiku 2%
o spiralx's "Mooo" 38%
o the InTune ad with "in't" in't 11%
o gnovos' "programming java" 19%
o adrianhon's "New Mars" 9%
o cyclopatra's "Message From the Future" 13%
o Other (see my comment) 4%

Votes: 86
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o textad haiku contest
o Niche
o this non-haiku
o wltr
o this 4-3-6 beauty
o spiralx
o bovine entry
o put it
o a humble lich
o ad for InTune  
o seebs
o Custom Computers
o lastfish
o Redcode Warrior
o gnovos
o programmin g java
o unemployed programmer
o adrianhon
o this excellent ad
o New Mars
o cyclopatra
o Foresight Institute ad
o Foresight Institute
o keep the haikus coming
o Also by rusty


Display: Sort:
Textad Haiku Contest: Results | 79 comments (74 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
Next competition (5.00 / 3) (#1)
by deefer on Fri May 10, 2002 at 06:28:33 AM EST

How's about limericks instead of haikus?


Kill the baddies.
Get the girl.
And save the entire planet.

I'm for that (none / 0) (#5)
by streetliar on Fri May 10, 2002 at 06:44:48 AM EST

I specially kept 50$ in my paypal account so that I can write a limerick ad.

I don't understand and don't appreciate haikus. So rusty, let us do some understandable and rhyming poetry, so that my feeble brain can partake.

[ Parent ]

You got it (5.00 / 1) (#9)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 07:05:18 AM EST

I think the next one will probably be limericks. I'm gonna have to do some preparing though. Limericks are a bit more challenging to attempt than haiku, though perhaps easier to do well.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
There once was a blog from Nantucket.. (4.66 / 3) (#17)
by wiredog on Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:41:42 AM EST

Whose sysop finally said "fuckit".
He blew up his LANs
All over The Land
After his lady had stuckit.

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
Rusty's wrong (4.80 / 5) (#22)
by iGrrrl on Fri May 10, 2002 at 10:41:35 AM EST

Limericks are not easier to do well. Most people screw up the scan. Your's is close, but still not quite on the beat. Maybe:
There once was a blog from Nantucket
With a sysop who finally said, "Fuck it!"
But he blew every LAN
From the island to land*
When his Lady said, "Stick it!" then stuck it.
LAN and land is really more assonance than rhyme. I don't do haiku, but I can do limerick.

*Nantucket is an island off Cape Cod. Democrats go to Martha's Vineyard. Republicans go to Nantucket. You can, however, by T-shirts in the tourist shops that say, "I AM the Man from Nantucket."

remove obvious illegal character in email address
[ Parent ]

Yeah but... (5.00 / 1) (#24)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 10:49:38 AM EST

But a good limerick just has to be fairly amusing and scan properly. Most people fail to get the rhythm right. But to do a good limerick, as opposed to a good haiku is, I think, a lot easier.

Mastering the limerick is like a mastering checkers. Mastering the haiku is like mastering Go. That's what I'm saying.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

I disagree (5.00 / 2) (#29)
by gauntlet on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:30:41 AM EST

I think that it's the hieght of intellectual arrogance to presume that any one art-form is more or less difficult than another to master.

First of all, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, mastery is very hard to quantify. What ends up happening is that the people that are called masters are the ones that are judged by the few who consider themselves auhtoritative enough to say.

Second of all, the limerick is intended to be narrative and humorous, haikus are intended to be descriptive. Those people that feel justified in saying what is and isn't mastery of an artform take themselves too seriously, and cannot bow to think that an artform intentionally without gravitas can be difficult.

It's the same reason that comedies never win academy awards for best picture. I see no truth in the argument that evoking obscure, half-imagined impressions of landscape and feeling is more difficult than evoking laughter.

I propose the following new ruleset for haiku, and lets see if under these rules it becomes any easier to do well, hmm?

Use a season word
Syllables: five, seven, five
And make it funny

Into Canadian Politics?
[ Parent ]

Sig (none / 0) (#64)
by Banjonardo on Sat May 11, 2002 at 01:12:29 AM EST

Your sig reminds me of another Confucious quote:

"A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat who isn't there."
I like Muffins. MOLDY muffins.
[ Parent ]

Disagree (5.00 / 1) (#30)
by iGrrrl on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:33:56 AM EST

Mastering the limerick is like a mastering checkers. Mastering the haiku is like mastering Go. That's what I'm saying.
I think the ease question of limerick to haiku is arguable, but I also think the Go vs. Checkers comparison is a bit too broad. Think of all that bad Hallmark Cards verse: It isn't easy to write good rhyme and meter in which meaning is ruthlessly held superior to scan without ever compromising rhyme and meter.

remove obvious illegal character in email address
[ Parent ]

Minor edit (none / 0) (#25)
by wiredog on Fri May 10, 2002 at 10:55:41 AM EST

"When his Lady said, "Stick it!" then stuck it."
When his Lady said "Stick it!", then stuck it.

The break just adds something.

Excellent work though.

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]

hmmm. (none / 0) (#28)
by iGrrrl on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:29:08 AM EST

The comma adds the beat, but then I was taught that the exclamation point serves as punctuation. Adding a comma (and outside the quotes, horrors!) makes Red Pen Sonia grumble. But Strunk and White may say otherwise.

remove obvious illegal character in email address
[ Parent ]

Pricing? (none / 0) (#56)
by seebs on Fri May 10, 2002 at 05:55:06 PM EST

Presumably, just as haiku costs less than a regular ad, a limerick costs more.

[ Parent ]
A Limeraiku (5.00 / 1) (#71)
by SteveA on Sat May 11, 2002 at 07:33:41 PM EST

Man stretched too thin
Spring breeze caught him
Spun round
No sound
But left unsought grin

Man stretched too thin, spring
breeze caught him. Spun round no sound
but left unsought grin.

[ Parent ]

BWUAHAHAHAH (2.00 / 2) (#8)
by delmoi on Fri May 10, 2002 at 06:54:15 AM EST

I voted this story down. I am an ICONOCLAST!!!!
--
"'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
Icon O'Clast? (none / 0) (#10)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 07:06:22 AM EST

From the clan O'Clast? There can be only one.


____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
That was lame (3.00 / 1) (#18)
by wiredog on Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:43:19 AM EST

Coffee hasn't kicked in yet?

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
I've been up... (none / 0) (#23)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 10:47:04 AM EST

...for a long time. Back off, man, I'm dangerous when I'm like this.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
But Clan O'Clast (none / 0) (#26)
by wiredog on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:04:24 AM EST

Would be Irish. MacLeod was Scottish. "O" is Irish. "Mac" is Scottish.

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
I thought MacLeod was French. (none / 0) (#32)
by ODiV on Fri May 10, 2002 at 12:44:23 PM EST

and his mentor was the Scottish one.

--
[ odiv.net ]
[ Parent ]
Nope (none / 0) (#34)
by wiredog on Fri May 10, 2002 at 01:16:37 PM EST

He was Scots, Ramirez was Spanish.

Peoples Front To Reunite Gondwanaland: "Stop the Laurasian Separatist Movement!"
[ Parent ]
Actually... (none / 0) (#38)
by Captain_Tenille on Fri May 10, 2002 at 01:49:57 PM EST

"I'm not Shpanish, I'm Egyptian!"
----
/* You are not expected to understand this. */

Man Vs. Nature: The Road to Victory!
[ Parent ]

We'll supposedly. (none / 0) (#53)
by ODiV on Fri May 10, 2002 at 05:14:47 PM EST

But listen to that accent. C'mon

--
[ odiv.net ]
[ Parent ]
Eliminate joke haikus (4.00 / 2) (#11)
by TheophileEscargot on Fri May 10, 2002 at 07:12:51 AM EST

Now that rusty's safely banked the cash, it's time to link to a call for the complete elimination of joke haiku production on the internet.

Enough is enough! Leave this poor ancient artform alone!
----
Support the nascent Mad Open Science movement... when we talk about "hundreds of eyeballs," we really mean it. Lagged2Death

I'm with you (5.00 / 2) (#12)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 07:21:03 AM EST

You'll note that none of the winners were joke haikus. They may not have been good haikus (though I think they were pretty decent,. given the subject matter restrictions) but they were not "ha ha funny" stupid joke haikus.

Anyway, the world needs more good limericks. Wait for the next contest. :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

The *winner* was a joke (5.00 / 2) (#37)
by sab39 on Fri May 10, 2002 at 01:47:39 PM EST

Unless you really didn't find the idea of everyone's clothes melting in the rain funny...

Also, it didn't mention a season. As I suggested in a comment, it would have been awfully easy to replace "the" in the last line with "spring"... although "naked in the rain" is itself a cultural reference, so I suppose there was a reason not to.

Personally I laughed out loud reading it.
--
"Forty-two" -- Deep Thought
"Quinze" -- Amélie

[ Parent ]

season reference (none / 0) (#40)
by dark on Fri May 10, 2002 at 02:50:05 PM EST

"naked in the rain" made me think of warm autumn rains. Winter rains would be too cold, spring rains too windy, and summer rains too intense.



[ Parent ]
Yeah (none / 0) (#46)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 03:46:35 PM EST

I pretty much saw it that way too. To be honest, I thought it had enough going for it that no season reference was a trick in itself.

Amusingly, it looks like a lot of other people read it totally differently than I did. Good on them! It just goes to show how multifaceted it was... :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

found out (5.00 / 2) (#48)
by cyclopatra on Fri May 10, 2002 at 04:04:29 PM EST

...it was, in a way, a joke. I personally found it hilarious when I wrote it. Unfortunately, hardly anyone I've read it to gets the joke - even though my friends all grew up eating rice candy wrapped in rice paper (you can eat the wrapper :P) just like me...

Frankly, I'm getting embarassed about the things people are reading into it :P So here's the whole truth: I was thinking about the 60s/70s, and the plastic/paper/shiny "futuristic" clothing fads, and how glad I was that the year 2000 wasn't really like that...and the haiku sprang, fully-formed, out of my forehead...or something like that :P I just thought it was funny...

Cyclopatra
All your .sigs are belong to us.
remove mypants to email
[ Parent ]

Kigo (season words) (none / 0) (#62)
by mbrubeck on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:31:22 PM EST

The kigo ("season words") in traditional Japanese poetry are rarely explicit. Instead they are highly codified set-phrases, often referring to the season only by allusion to specific well-known poems, or even through puns in the characters or pronounciation of the words. If you think that the difference between "real" haiku and fake haiku is just a simple mention of the season, then you are missing an entire world of allusion and subtlety. Here's a decent essay on kigo, and here is an abridged kiyose.

Interesting excerpt: It usually takes a beginner five or six years to learn how to identify and use season-words properly. In the process, the consciousness of seasonal transition and its significance is deepened, and the student is introduced to a new and alluring realm of poetry.

[ Parent ]

No. (5.00 / 2) (#41)
by MattOly on Fri May 10, 2002 at 02:52:46 PM EST

YOU wait for the next contest... Limericks?

I run circles around your haiku!
And other bad poets like you!
Who bring shame to the art
Of rhyming with "fart"
Stay the fuck out of my queue!

You like-u?

====
A final note to...the Republican party. You do not want to get into a fight with David Letterman. ...He's simply more believable than you are.
[ Parent ]

Scanning (none / 0) (#49)
by sab39 on Fri May 10, 2002 at 04:11:01 PM EST

There once was an art-form called Haiku,
Of which Rusty pondered, "I like you!"
So now every nerd
With a seasonal word
Is five-seven-fiving in my queue!

I'm not too happy about the word "pondered" but I needed a two-syllable word with the emphasis on the first syllable. Also, I kind of cheated by including explicit emphasis in the last line. And of course I stole all your rhymes for haiku :) But I think it scans better in the limerick tradition...
--
"Forty-two" -- Deep Thought
"Quinze" -- Amélie

[ Parent ]

And the converse... (5.00 / 1) (#52)
by sab39 on Fri May 10, 2002 at 05:08:47 PM EST

The converse, of course, is a haiku about limericks. This is the first haiku I've ever written so go easy on me...

Limericks abound
Rhythm, rhyme, hilarity
Summer laughter reigns
--
"Forty-two" -- Deep Thought
"Quinze" -- Amélie

[ Parent ]

Nice. (none / 0) (#55)
by MattOly on Fri May 10, 2002 at 05:43:49 PM EST

Now can I just say
You are now my new fav'rite
on K5 this May?

====
A final note to...the Republican party. You do not want to get into a fight with David Letterman. ...He's simply more believable than you are.
[ Parent ]

Aww shucks (5.00 / 1) (#69)
by sab39 on Sat May 11, 2002 at 11:26:39 AM EST

When someone says something so flattering,
I fear that it's just idle chattering.
I could be naive,
But it's hard to believe:
I never quite saw my stuff mattering.
--
"Forty-two" -- Deep Thought
"Quinze" -- Amélie

[ Parent ]
bravo! =) [nt] (none / 0) (#74)
by sayke on Sun May 12, 2002 at 12:53:02 AM EST


sayke, v2.3.1 /* i am the middle finger of the invisible hand */
[ Parent ]
murmured? (nt) (none / 0) (#59)
by Happy Monkey on Fri May 10, 2002 at 07:26:03 PM EST


___
Length 17, Width 3
[ Parent ]
Revised version (none / 0) (#68)
by sab39 on Sat May 11, 2002 at 10:14:11 AM EST

This version avoids the "pondered" dilemma by replacing the first two lines entirely...

When looking for ads that would strike you,
Said Rusty, "I know! We'll do Haiku!"
So now every nerd
With a seasonal word
Is five-seven-fiving in my queue!
--
"Forty-two" -- Deep Thought
"Quinze" -- Amélie

[ Parent ]

Short version: lighten up (5.00 / 5) (#13)
by JanneM on Fri May 10, 2002 at 08:34:55 AM EST

Longer version: yes, most haiku that's written is doggerel. For that matter, most poetry or fiction - especially, but not exlusively, amateur works - is painfully bad. Just as for haiku, people pick up the shallow template, never understanding the form that lies beneath.

So what?

If a fourteen year old girl pours out her aching heart in some of the worst verse yet to be suffered by mankind, is that a problem? She gets a lot of pleasure writing it. That's the real purpose of most writing, really; the reading by others comes second hand. If a fourtyfour year old insurance salesman spends his weekends pounding out one graceless, heavyhanded novella after another, that's his gain for having a pleasurable, absorbing hobby, not our loss for gracing the world with more unreadable text.

It's the same with Haiku. It's a small piece of text, with some interesting restrictions. It's perfect for anyone that fels the itch to write, to create, but doesn't have the time or inclination to write a long piece. Yes, the results are more often than not really bad, but again, so what? The creator had an enjoyable time creating it, exercising some creative talents that may be woefully underutilized in daily life. In fact I believe the great proliferation of "joke haiku" (as if the haiku rules forbids them to be funny!) is because the format attract people that like puzzles and word games. It's like a small fre-form crossword, graded not on correctness but on inventiveness.

Yes, Haiky has a long history and a considerable canon. Does that make it holy or special? Does it preclude it from being parodied, coopted, or distorted? For the sake of Haiku, I sincerely hope not! Any living aspect of language - or of human culture - is constantly subject to change. This is what keeps those aspects alive - only dead culture and dead language stays where it is, as if pinned up on a tray in a linguists museum.

So rather that genuflect to history, we should produce far more unreadable doggerel, write droll meta-haikus, bend and twist it in any direction just to see how far we can take it. More bad Haiku, please!

Janne is no wordsmith
syllables are not counted well
at least he mentions "spring"
---
Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
[ Parent ]

I think (5.00 / 3) (#14)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 08:45:04 AM EST

I think the complaint is really that the "culture of bad haiku" online is so overwhelmingly huge. This may be truth, or just perception, but it really does seem like haiku is absurdly overrepresented on the net. And, if you're in any way a fan of the traditional form, online haiku is hideously awful. To a poet, it is what geocities is to a web designer.

I don't care much, either way. I don't think you ought to take the campaign too seriously. But I do think that there are poetic forms that have been sadly neglected online.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

Condensed version (5.00 / 1) (#67)
by JanneM on Sat May 11, 2002 at 07:30:01 AM EST

I agree that there is an astounding amount of badly mangled Haiku online. I mean, there's even a Perl module "haikufying" error messages...

If you did a poll, how many people would know what a Haiku is? Chances are many would know, and quite a lot of people would even know the rules of the form. If you did the same poll for the sonata or the villanelle, how many would even have heard of them, much less know how to approach a poem written in those forms?

When confronted with a 'serious' poem in any of these forms, which ones would you think would be most appreciated? Chances are it's the Haiku; the reader is likely already familiar with the form. The others - good or bad - would likely just make the eyes glaze over in the vast majority of readers.

My point is, all that crappy Haiku verse is not a curse for the form, it's a blessing.

---
Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
[ Parent ]

You mean stuff like... (5.00 / 4) (#16)
by watchmaker on Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:40:58 AM EST

Droids don't rip people's
arms from their sockets, Artoo
Let the Wookiee win.



[ Parent ]

Please phrase in the form of haiku (3.00 / 1) (#19)
by DesiredUsername on Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:44:15 AM EST

SnailGuy calls for a
complete elimination
of all joke haikus?

Play 囲碁
[ Parent ]
Now you tell me (none / 0) (#42)
by broken77 on Fri May 10, 2002 at 03:32:04 PM EST

Of course, as these things go, I read about joke haikus, and the real nature of haikus, only after just submitting an ad. Ah well.

I'm starting to doubt all this happy propaganda about Islam being a religion of peace. Heck, it's just as bad as Christianity. -- Dphitz
[ Parent ]

Eliminate ugly paintings (5.00 / 2) (#54)
by I am Jack's username on Fri May 10, 2002 at 05:34:22 PM EST

Your posting above
A strangely hostile comment --
Fuck you. It's Springtime. (Earle D Jones)
--
Inoshiro for president!
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." - Bertrand Russell
[ Parent ]
Damn! (none / 0) (#15)
by DesiredUsername on Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:26:40 AM EST

I forgot to submit one!

Play 囲碁
in't (5.00 / 10) (#20)
by aaron on Fri May 10, 2002 at 10:08:48 AM EST

Though this be madness, yet there's method in't.
    - Polonius, Hamlet 2:2

If it's good enough for Shakespeare, it's good enough for me.

Oh come on (5.00 / 5) (#21)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 10:28:29 AM EST

Shakespeare couldn't even spell his own name right. ;-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
yes but- (none / 0) (#50)
by anti filidor on Fri May 10, 2002 at 04:12:25 PM EST

whose name was it?

[ Parent ]
Excellent Save! (5.00 / 1) (#51)
by Farq Q. Fenderson on Fri May 10, 2002 at 04:47:26 PM EST

Kudos.

farq will not be coming back
[ Parent ]
I'll buy't for iambic pentameter (5.00 / 2) (#35)
by vectro on Fri May 10, 2002 at 01:24:36 PM EST

... but not haiku.

“The problem with that definition is just that it's bullshit.” -- localroger
[ Parent ]
Right (4.00 / 2) (#36)
by a humble lich on Fri May 10, 2002 at 01:27:52 PM EST

Just because nobody has bothered to use that contraction in the last 400 years.  Methinks 'tis a perfectly good word Sirrah.

[ Parent ]
two comments (none / 0) (#27)
by tps12 on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:06:25 AM EST

The "whispering winds" in the first line will surely resonate with any science fiction reader

Or rock and roll listener?

Branching off from that intial tension is a secondary layer, with "clothing made from rice paper" beginning the nature/technology theme. Most of us, today, wear clothing made from petroleum or cotton. The second line points toward a future where, perhaps, nature and human technology are more in balance.

I can see how synthetic fibers could be considered unnatural, but cotton?

Er.. ah... (none / 0) (#44)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 03:43:13 PM EST

Factory farming? Cotton-caused land depletion? I dunno. I don't think I was thinking too clearly on that one. If anyone can rescue it, be my guest. :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Fine. (none / 0) (#78)
by ambrosen on Mon May 13, 2002 at 09:51:11 AM EST

The source I got this from did have attributions, but I didn't check them. It was Colors magazine, about 3 years ago. Apparently, cotton uses 24% of the world's pesticides for 2% of the world's agricultural plant output (I guess by weight). Also, cotton farming is responsible for the disasterous depletion of the Aral sea. I imagine irrigation of cotton fields has caused harm in many other parts of the world, too.

--
Procrastination does not make you cool. Being cool makes you procrastinate. DesiredUsername.
[ Parent ]
Redcode Warrior! (none / 0) (#31)
by Synthoid on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:45:47 AM EST

Found or not, it is an excellent haiku - it even has a season word or two.

The Winner (4.50 / 2) (#33)
by Kwil on Fri May 10, 2002 at 12:53:31 PM EST

I don't know about you, but when I read the line about clothing made from paper, the line "Naked in the rain" served not to link with nature, but to point out the folly of using paper for clothing.

So for me, this haiku was a cautionary one about the gee-whiz nature of techno-consumerism. With multiple readings possible, perhaps even more evidence why it should win.

That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn! -NJ CoolBreeze


Certainly (5.00 / 1) (#43)
by rusty on Fri May 10, 2002 at 03:42:11 PM EST

Could be... could be...

A secret: I actually originally had that one in third place. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to unfold. It ended up migrating into first while I was writing up the results. :-)

Yes, it really was that close.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

My take (5.00 / 1) (#45)
by sticky on Fri May 10, 2002 at 03:43:38 PM EST

I saw it as an observation of our vulnerability in an age where we may see ourselves as clever (making clothes out of rice paper) but ultimatley that our important and vital choices are borne out of folly and vanity.

[ Parent ]
And... (5.00 / 1) (#65)
by Western Hills Taoist on Sat May 11, 2002 at 05:20:00 AM EST

making clothes out of rice paper does imply a certain lack of foresight. A very clever ad :-)

I think I preferred gnovos' haiku though. Spiralx's contribution is destined to be a lasting favourite for its sheer absurdity. I can't think of it without smiling.


-- -- Heaven unites with fire. People should not remain isolated. I Ching,13
[ Parent ]
My answer (none / 0) (#77)
by salsaman on Mon May 13, 2002 at 05:29:32 AM EST

Rice paper clothing / Spring rains will wash it away / But we'll be sticky

[ Parent ]
Let it ride... (5.00 / 1) (#39)
by gnovos on Fri May 10, 2002 at 02:44:04 PM EST

I think I might use my winnings (a hefty sum of 4000 text ads) to participate in the NEXT contest...  Hurry up Rusty, roll those dice!

A Haiku: "fuck you fuck you fuck/you fuck you fuck you fuck you/fuck you fuck you snow" - JChen
Holy Shit (5.00 / 3) (#47)
by cyclopatra on Fri May 10, 2002 at 03:48:46 PM EST

I won :P I am so humble...and so proud ;)

Seriously, I can't believe it. I thought a bunch of the haiku submitted were better than mine. But who am I to argue with our Fearless Leader? So I guess all there is to say is...thanks, Rusty!

Cyclopatra
All your .sigs are belong to us.
remove mypants to email

"Found"? (none / 0) (#57)
by seebs on Fri May 10, 2002 at 05:56:34 PM EST

I spent a good three or four minutes trying to get that ad to be a haiku without some kind of repetition that wouldn't fit.  And yeah, I know, I forgot my seasonal reference.

BTW, I got at least a quote request out of it.  Yay!


Haiku text ad format (5.00 / 1) (#58)
by Cuthalion on Fri May 10, 2002 at 06:37:35 PM EST

If you're keeping Haiku text ads for good, how about giving us the capability of making them three separate lines properly, rather than having to use /'s?


Dig. (none / 0) (#60)
by MattOly on Fri May 10, 2002 at 07:30:17 PM EST

I'm on your side. Ruuuuuuuusssstyyyyyyyyy...

====
A final note to...the Republican party. You do not want to get into a fight with David Letterman. ...He's simply more believable than you are.
[ Parent ]

Yeah (none / 0) (#66)
by rusty on Sat May 11, 2002 at 07:25:45 AM EST

I need to get hurstdog to allow <br> in there. Will do.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Hehe (none / 0) (#61)
by Niche on Fri May 10, 2002 at 09:32:09 PM EST

Man I won something, that is pretty funny. Well I guess I didnt win, I was recognized, but nonetheless, funny.

No relevance (none / 0) (#63)
by glmull on Fri May 10, 2002 at 11:53:05 PM EST

Rusty, I didn't want to pay but I wanted to play.

Without sunlight, death
The pole shift, coming to a
Theater next year

and of course, the other one:

I like this one the best:

In early summer
Of next year, get ready for
A pole shift that rocks

I hope Rusty reconsiders his decision, in light of these new haikus that weren't able to make the deadline because of money problems. Because they are better than the ones that appear on this page by far.Sorry for all this!
Zetatalk tells us what will happen in 2003.

I would have liked to see this haiku-ad (none / 0) (#79)
by sab39 on Mon May 13, 2002 at 12:21:29 PM EST

I'm a cheap bastard
Used haiku to save money
Won't spring for real ad
--
"Forty-two" -- Deep Thought
"Quinze" -- Amélie

[ Parent ]
Redcode Warrior (none / 0) (#70)
by lastfish on Sat May 11, 2002 at 03:41:44 PM EST

I'll confess - when saw traphicone's comment revealing it to be a haiku I was amused that someone should notice. The contest was announced after my submission ... thus saving me from trying to think something up. Loved the bovine entry.

wltr's haiku (none / 0) (#72)
by fluffy grue on Sat May 11, 2002 at 09:08:48 PM EST

wltr's haiku is more like a haiku than most of the dreck which was submitted into this. It's not like any of these were written in Japanese!
--
"#kuro5hin [is like] a daycare center [where] the babysitter had been viciously murdered." -- CaptainObvious (we
the awe-inspiring fragilily of our potential (1.00 / 1) (#73)
by sayke on Sun May 12, 2002 at 12:50:27 AM EST

the clothes we wear today will dissolve in the coming rain - are we prepared to be naked? can we embrace this, and survive? will our delicate and flawed institutions adapt? if they fail to do so, should we care?

in essance, will our nakedness be that of hypothermic shame, or of freedom?

badassness. bravo, cyclopatra =)


sayke, v2.3.1 /* i am the middle finger of the invisible hand */

Decent Idea (none / 0) (#75)
by sypher on Sun May 12, 2002 at 07:07:03 AM EST

I enjoyed reading everyones haikus, it was a good idea for the contest.

Dont have any cash at the minute, but i will be investing in a textad as soon as i do.

Should maybe be a monthly contest, limericks, rhymes, backwards text would also make for a diverting & interesting k5 fundraiser.

I dreamt of it once, now I fear it dreams of me
On the contrary... (4.00 / 1) (#76)
by thesk8ingtoad on Sun May 12, 2002 at 10:39:27 PM EST

In't IS a valid contraction. Although archaic, it is still technically correct. Look in the works of Shakespeare- it's chock full of "in't"s. example: "Though this be maddness, yet there is method in't" Hamlet (II, ii, 206)

Poor humble lich....


If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Textad Haiku Contest: Results | 79 comments (74 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
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