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A Brief Introduction to Writing a Brief Introduction About Some Activity No One Cares About on K5

By Captain_Tenille in Meta
Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 04:30:24 PM EST
Tags: etc (all tags)
/etc

You're passionate about something. It doesn't matter what you're passionate about. It could be basketweaving, jai lai, or how to make a convincing escargot out of common slugs. Whatever it is, it's something no one else could ever, ever, possibly give a damn about. But that won't stop you, no sir! You're going to tell the world about it and write...

An Introduction to Something No One Could Ever Be Interested In.

You can't just charge in to this, though. You need to write a good introduction. This article will show you how.


The first thing you need to do is pick what you're going to write your Introduction about. Don't be worried if you think no one will find it interesting. In fact, if it could possibly be compelling to anyone, your best bet is to forget the whole thing and come up with something else. Another good tactic is to pick something that everyone already knows. Once you've chosen your subject matter, perhaps something like "Care and Feeding of Accordions", it's time to get writing.

The first thing on your list is to head off to Google. You're going to need lots of links to make your article look more authoritative. Sure, anybody could find those links themselves with a minimum of effort, but it will make it look like you put some work into this article.

Now, to write the actual article. You can't just charge in to this, though. You need to write a good introduction. This article will show you how, from writing a good "peg" that the story centers around to trying desperately to show people why they should care what Geocaching is.

You can start with the obvious: a quick story about how you got into the subject yourself. A quick little story about how you and your older brother/barber/parole officer were chatting and he mentioned the topic, but with fervor and passion. Intrigued, you checked it out, only to learn that he wasn't alone, dozens of people around the world shared his passion for sewing machine collecting, and now you feel like one of them!

Or you could take the less personal route and write your introduction textbook style. While not as convincing as the personal story idea, it gives you the authoritative tone that many people who are interested in what your writing about like to hear. Of course, you have to have them interested first, or else you come off as a snobbish bore. Admittedly, this is easier said than done when discussing Alf pog collecting, but you're going to have to do it.

After you've established why you're enthusiastic or authoritative on collecting He-Man and the Masters of the Universe breakfast cereal boxes, it's best to next display a brief history of the subject. If, for example, your subject is "An Introduction to Bottled Water", you'd write a brief bit about the Fluoride scares, Cholora, Hepatitis, and Crystal Pepsi.

Of course you're going to want to break up the sections in you history. It's best, especially on sites like K5, to use all bold letters at the top of each new section. That way people will be able to follow the flow. You don't want them getting confused about your Butterchurn Restoration for Fun and Profit.

After a dazzling intro and informative history, you should tell the reader how he (or, indeed, she!) can get involved. This is where you link to the PETA, Abercrombe-and-Fitch, or NAMBLA websites, hoping that many others will join your cause/sport/hobby/cell block.

However you end up writing your Introduction, you will have to make sure that the article has relatively decent grammar and spelling. Many an otherwise decent article has been voted down because the author showed a basic lack of understanding of the English language. Some think this is not fair, but you do have to pander to the kurobots here.

Once you're done writing your article and spell checked it, is it time to submit it yet? NO, absolutely not! You also need to add a bibliography at the end with your sources about your fine Introduction to the end of your story. No one will read any of these sources, but they sure do look impressive.

NOW you're finally ready to submit. For maximum effectiveness, use the edit queue. Even if you have no intention of editing your perfect story in any way, it is proper form to leave it in the edit queue for the full two hours. Some people might complain, but they're just joshing you. I wouldn't worry about it. Your Introduction to Tapeworm Farming is finally done, and by gum, it's the best damn Introduction since the one that got posted yesterday!

Now go get 'em, tiger!

Bibliography:

Bouillabaisse
Self-whoring link
This link has barely anything to do with anything
Some other activity
Fat Chicks in Party Hats
Neuticles
The Bill Gates Fanclub

blah blah copyright Captain_Tenille blah blah free use blah blah

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Poll
How to learn Basque in 5 Years or Less!
o Yawn. 14%
o Groan. 23%
o Wake me up later. 61%

Votes: 71
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Google
o Google [2]
o Bouillabai sse
o Self-whori ng link
o This link has barely anything to do with anything
o Some other activity
o Fat Chicks in Party Hats
o Neuticles
o The Bill Gates Fanclub
o Also by Captain_Tenille


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A Brief Introduction to Writing a Brief Introduction About Some Activity No One Cares About on K5 | 86 comments (68 topical, 18 editorial, 0 hidden)
Even if this is voted down (3.28 / 7) (#1)
by AmberEyes on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 02:15:42 PM EST

You are my hero. =)

+1 FP

-AmberEyes


"But you [AmberEyes] have never admitted defeat your entire life, so why should you start now. It seems the only perfect human being since Jesus Christ himself is in our presence." -my Uncle Dean
Thank you! +1 FP (3.83 / 6) (#5)
by Ricochet Rita on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 02:24:36 PM EST

What with the recent load of Kuro submissions, I've been completely baffled as to how to properly broach the topic of "Clicking Links on Your Browser Page."

Many thanks, off to make that first submission...

R

R

FABRICATUS DIEM, PVNC!

Best. Article. Ever. (3.85 / 7) (#6)
by BugCatcher on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 02:35:36 PM EST

Why is it the best? Brilliant. Informative. Satirical. Thorough. Topical and current. Funny. Funny. Funny. You've got my +1FP, buddy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to read it again because I haven't laughed nearly enough lately.

/me scrolls back to the top and prepares to LOL

Are you the windshield, or the bug? Come to www.amorsley.net/bugsplat Now available in minty-fresh RDF!

No (4.25 / 4) (#18)
by Fon2d2 on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 03:29:15 PM EST

this was the best article ever.

[ Parent ]
Not Even Close (5.00 / 5) (#41)
by wiredog on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 07:31:55 PM EST

The best article ever was the Confusingly Titled Meta Story

Earth first! We can strip mine the rest later.
[ Parent ]
Nice. (none / 0) (#45)
by Rasman on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 11:37:54 PM EST

How did that story end up with a voting score of 138?

---
Brave. Daring. Fearless. Clippy - The Clothes Pin Stuntman
[ Parent ]
Does anyone else find it a bit odd (4.85 / 21) (#12)
by mcc on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 02:56:47 PM EST

..that there's been an awful lot of discussion lately about which kinds of articles we should see less of on K5.. (i.e. "stop posting so many brief introductions to X obscure thing!", or "i will now vote -1 to all political articles, they are pointless flamewars", or "stop posting technical/programming articles! nobody cares, and anyway i don't understand them!", or "will someone ban turmeric from posting articles?"..)

.. But there's been almost no discussion lately on what kinds of articles we should see more of on K5. So: let's have some constructive critisisms, then. If y'all don't want so many brief-introductions-to-obscure-activities, as this story's current positive voting of 38-to-9 would suggest:

What would you like to see more of?

(I for one would like to see more Technology-sectioned articles on, well, programming techniques. ^_^ Maybe i'll write one..)

---
Aside from that, the absurd meta-wankery of k5er-quoting sigs probably takes the cake. Especially when the quote itself is about k5. -- tsubame

I think the best solution... (3.71 / 7) (#14)
by MattOly on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 03:00:39 PM EST

...is if people ignore what's on the front page, and just check their own favorite section links. It's how I don't ever have to look at stories about Libratarians.

====
A final note to...the Republican party. You do not want to get into a fight with David Letterman. ...He's simply more believable than you are.
[ Parent ]

Libratarians? (4.55 / 9) (#22)
by lb008d on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 03:54:53 PM EST

Why do I get a mental image of Ayn Rand in a tight bun and frumpy clothes saying "sssssssssshhhhhh" and fantasizing about the Dewey Decimal system?

"Kuro5hin: politics and pretension, from the $3,000 leather recliners on the hill overlooking the trenches."DarkZero
[ Parent ]

Not really (4.20 / 5) (#16)
by rusty on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 03:19:30 PM EST

Does anyone else find it a bit odd that there's been an awful lot of discussion lately about which kinds of articles we should see less of on K5... [b]ut there's been almost no discussion lately on what kinds of articles we should see more of on K5[?]

No. That's how it's always been. I'm down with your point, but I'd probably be shocked beyond any hope of recovery if it happened. :-)

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

It's not odd (3.00 / 1) (#28)
by Scrymarch on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 05:08:46 PM EST

The positive suggestions are on K4.

Everyone should be more obsessed with K4.

[ Parent ]

K4 (none / 0) (#81)
by zocky on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 07:49:02 AM EST

You mean K4?

---
I mean, if coal can be converted to energy, then couldn't diamonds?
[ Parent ]

Frequent and Variously (4.00 / 3) (#34)
by jefu on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 05:51:28 PM EST

I like being exposed to the odd bits of randomness that kuro5hin encourages - I like the articles about something someone is enthusiastic about.  I almost always learn something and often go off and spend some time looking into a topic carefully.

When I was in college, I developed a habit of taking charge of my own education - spent as much time in the library looking up things I was interested in as in class or studying (with a few exceptions).

I even got into the habit of sometimes picking a random drawer out of the card catalog, then a random entry in the drawer, going to the shelves for that entry and looking down the shelves looking into things - just to see what I might find.  As a result my education may not be overly coherent, but its pretty comprehensive.

I'm also a firm believer in using randomness as a tool - so I'd even go so far to suggest that kuro5hin give articles (when written) a random score - just to start off - thus giving exposure to articles that might otherwise be lost.

(But then I also believe that a good portion of the US government's research grants should be assigned at random.  Just to give those truely crank ideas a chance - who knows?)
 

[ Parent ]

vote4fun (4.00 / 2) (#35)
by twi on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 06:01:22 PM EST

> If y'all don't want so many brief-introductions-to-obscure-activities, as this story's current positive voting of 38-to-9 would suggest:

Well, it could also suggest that folks just appreciate a good laugh. I haven't voted on this article but I think it's funny although I do like the various stories that it makes fun of.

[ Parent ]

"stop posting technical/programming articles& (none / 0) (#58)
by codemonkey_uk on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 08:25:27 AM EST

Who said that? I have my 2x4 in my hand and if no one tells me who said it I'm breaking everybody's legs.
---
Thad
"The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
[ Parent ]
There's a "story requests" page (none / 0) (#61)
by sebpaquet on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 09:12:34 AM EST

here on Ko4ting. Tell us what you want to read!
----
Seb's Open Research - Pointers and thoughts on the evolution of knowledge sharing and scholarly communication.
[ Parent ]
Speaking of Ko4ting... (none / 0) (#62)
by Ricochet Rita on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 09:22:41 AM EST

this article certainly should appear on the "Top Ten/Fifteen" or "Classic" lists.

R

R

FABRICATUS DIEM, PVNC!
[ Parent ]

No offense, this parody is mildly funny... (none / 0) (#65)
by Yekrats on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 10:53:36 AM EST

...but certainly not to the caliber of Confusingly Titled Meta Story. This story is certainly (IMHO) not The. Best. Story. Ever.

I'm hoping that the fact that I feel it's only "mildly funny" has nothing to do that it pokes fun at one of my recent articles. :-) Nahh, the story isn't so much witty, as it is stating the obvious with a few chaotic jabs thrown in. (Once again, I'm trying to look at the article objectively...)

Okay, I find some "Introduction to X" articles are quite nice and entertaining. Some are not exactly my thing, and some are downright insipid. (How does a "How to make a pancake" story make it to the front page of a Technology/Culture site?) Everyone's tastes differ.

On the other hand, the submissions from this site come from the members. If we didn't fill up the queue with the "90% Crap" then I don't think the wonderful "10% Good Stuff" wouldn't be there either.

Good stuff comes out of K5. The K5 longbeards say, "This site isn't what it used to be." Well, I'm a relative newbie to the site, so I don't know the way it used to be. But since I've been here we've had the Go article, some Quantum Physics articles, and several other tasty nuggets.

This reply was entirely too long. Sorry.
-- Yekrats

[ Parent ]

I am the Mouth of Sauron. (4.53 / 15) (#21)
by The Mouth of Sauron on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 03:39:32 PM EST

Verily, I had intended to write a treatise on the handling of orcs, and have it distributed to all the lands of Middle Earth. I am reconsidering this because of thee, Captain.
------
I am the Mouth of Sauron.
Sad State of Affairs @K5 (4.28 / 7) (#27)
by thekubrix on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 04:44:31 PM EST

First off, good job on the article Cap'n!

Doesn't it bother anyone that this not only HAD to be written but was agreed by a vast majority (was modded to FP in almost record time). How does this reflect on the community of K5?

Maybe articles like this should be placed in a special section where veterans can submit ideas and ways to improve the general discourse of K5...?

My biggest fear is.....will any of this REALLY change the daily grind that is K5?

You may have misjudged... (4.66 / 3) (#40)
by sage on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 07:25:57 PM EST

Doesn't it bother anyone that this not only HAD to be written but was agreed by a vast majority (was modded to FP in almost record time).

You make the assumption that anyone who vote +1 did so because they understood the point and agreed with it.

There are other reasons to vote for a story. Two that come to mind are that the story is earnest, but takes a point of view you consider to be incorrect. I've voted +1 and +1,FP on a number of these, simply that they might be discussed.

Another reason is that, whether or not you agree with the point, you think the story is damned funny. I fall into this category.

[ Parent ]

But that's what k5 is all about (4.55 / 9) (#29)
by drivers on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 05:09:45 PM EST

Random articles that are about things you haven't heard of or haven't taken much interest in until you read it here. I have personally taken up multiple interests because of the eclectic nature of k5. The game of "go" and music theory/composition (thanks tombuck) are the two I think of off the top of my head.

You are misinformed, friend. (none / 0) (#59)
by codemonkey_uk on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 08:32:38 AM EST

Randomness is what MetaFilter is all about.
---
Thad
"The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
[ Parent ]
Sure (none / 0) (#67)
by luserSPAZ on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 11:37:33 AM EST

If all you want is random links to silly stuff.  If you want to learn a little bit about a variety of topics, I think "Intro to" articles are a nice way to do so.

I'd rather read a thought out article then a MLP anyday.

[ Parent ]

too right (5.00 / 1) (#85)
by Fuzzwah on Sun Sep 29, 2002 at 08:30:45 PM EST

"Introduction" style emails are worth their place on K5 simply for the reason that I got into home brewing beer and very shortly plan on having it available on tap :)

--
The best a human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. - God's Debris
[ Parent ]

don't post on K5... (none / 0) (#86)
by Fuzzwah on Sun Sep 29, 2002 at 08:32:20 PM EST

When you're as sketchy as I am right now. Emails indeed....

--
The best a human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. - God's Debris
[ Parent ]

southpark (2.00 / 1) (#31)
by pheta on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 05:18:46 PM EST

Anyone catch the Southpark reference?

Good Job (3.60 / 5) (#32)
by jayhawk88 on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 05:46:54 PM EST

But only for the Fat Chicks in Party Hats link. Anything even remotely related to or referencing Seanbaby automatically has its Kick Ass stat doubled.

Why, then, should we grant government the Orwellian capability to listen at will and in real time to our communications across the Web? -- John Ashcroft
Ah yes. (3.50 / 2) (#36)
by AntiAOL Elitist Agenda on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 06:11:01 PM EST

Thannk you.

**************
You made me this way!
[ Parent ]

hahaha - but seriously... (4.33 / 9) (#33)
by avdi on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 05:50:25 PM EST

...these "Intro to" articles are about the only reason I read K5 anymore, since it stopped being a useful source of relevent technical discussions.

--
Now leave us, and take your fish with you. - Faramir
I concur n/t (none / 0) (#71)
by jeanlucpikachu on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 01:14:21 PM EST



--
Peace,
Capt. Jean-Luc Pikachu AIM: jeanlucpikachu
[ Parent ]
Yep & New Blood Don't Care (none / 0) (#72)
by kostya on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 04:00:11 PM EST

I remember about 18 months ago all the articles about the "sky is falling" or "k5 is dying". I even wrote one myself, in a way.

And then K5 did die and it did suck and it pissed off a whole bunch of people.

But then "they" came. "They" are the new people. They started to argue and bitch about new stuff. And they felt K5 was wonderful and savvy and great. They saw nothing wrong with the stories, the tone of the discussion, or how they acted. They weren't here before, so what did they know? This all seems great to them. Heck, it's better than slashdot, right? And that's the only yardstick that matters.

As for us grumpy old/low userids, most of us just became lurkers and started to find lives again (remember how much time K5 used to eat up). Or some other site. Or whatever.

Yeah, someone will post about how I'm a bitching cynic, but then again, I'll bet they are one of the "new" folk. And there isn't anything wrong with the new folk. But in a year, they will be the complaining, old cynics (uids <N, where N is whatever is one year older than the current newbies). But in their case, they'll complain about how there isn't any good political dicsussion anymore and all the stories are about Magic the Gathering or something.</p>

<grump>I miss the old K5 with my old familiar friends.</grump> Oh well, nothing stays the same.



----
Veritas otium parit. --Terence
[ Parent ]
I find it interesting... (4.87 / 8) (#37)
by bigbtommy on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 06:13:21 PM EST

...that whenever you browse the Internet or a local library there are 10,000 "Beginners Guide to X", "An Introduction to X" and "Dummy's Guide to X", but to have anything that carries on from Novice level is impossible.

I do like the Introduction articles on K5 - they break up what would otherwise be a fairly boring political bitching site. You only live once, so you might as well do things you enjoy, as opposed to bitching all day about George W Bush.

Still, hilarious article.
-- bbCity.co.uk - When I see kids, I speed up

Basque (4.50 / 4) (#38)
by Yekrats on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 06:21:51 PM EST

Dang, there goes my great story idea about "Learning Basque in 10 Minutes or Less or your Money Back". I mean, I already had it typed up and everything!

you know... (3.00 / 1) (#49)
by adequate nathan on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:43:03 AM EST

Basque is much harder than Esperanto. Why bother when you already have an international language?

Nathan
"For me -- ugghhh, arrgghh."
-Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, in Frank magazine, Jan. 20th 2003

Join the petition: Rusty! Make dumped stories & discussion public!
[ Parent ]

Ummm... Nathan... it was a joke. (3.00 / 1) (#57)
by Yekrats on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 07:32:46 AM EST

:-) (I've got a secret for you... I don't really know Basque.)

Seriously, even though I know Esperanto, it doesn't mean I think traditional languages are invalid. I also haven't ruled out my learning more languages in the future. I've been itching to look into German, because I like German boardgames. However, learning many languages beyond what I already know is certainly beyond my ability. Thus, I learned Esperanto.

Come on! I hope I didn't come across as being that closed-minded. Did I?

-- Yekrats

[ Parent ]

I thought that was the point of Esperanto (none / 0) (#68)
by William Franklin Rothman on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 11:45:27 AM EST

To make it easier to learn other languages? Wasn't that the point?

[ Parent ]
That's a side effect. (none / 0) (#70)
by Yekrats on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:29:42 PM EST

Actually, it was designed as a "bridge" (or middleware -- sorry -- I'm taking a systems design class) between two native languages. It's designed to be simple to learn, so that two people with different native languages could learn Eo and be on relatively equal ground.

I've seen studies that have shown that by learning Eo first helps you learn other languages faster, because you know the basics of grammar and foreign language, etc. But I'd say, it makes sense that learning any foreign language will help you learn others faster. It just takes less time to master Esperanto than others.

Of course, these points were argued ad nauseum on the wonderfully written article about Esperanto last week. :-)

-- Yekrats

[ Parent ]

but Esperanto is so good (none / 0) (#82)
by adequate nathan on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 01:51:56 PM EST

Why would you bother with a fucked-up language like Basque? The vocabulary isn't even portable. The grammatical paradigm is unlike anything anywhere.

Face it, Basque is hopelessly parochial - a 'better off dead' language.

Nathan
"For me -- ugghhh, arrgghh."
-Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, in Frank magazine, Jan. 20th 2003

Join the petition: Rusty! Make dumped stories & discussion public!
[ Parent ]

WTF!? (2.66 / 9) (#39)
by thelizman on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 07:19:06 PM EST

Okay, if this article hit the front page, I think it's high time for more Iraq articles.
--

"Our language is sufficiently clumsy enough to allow us to believe foolish things." - George Orwell
YES! (none / 0) (#64)
by br284 on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 10:21:21 AM EST

We must have more Iraq articles! They're now saying that Iraq == al Quaeda. You must write that article.

What?!? Iraq only has ties to al Quaeda at the moment and are not one and the same yet? Drat, I should quit chatting with ye olde magic eight-ball. It's sometimes wrong, you know...

We want more Iraq!

-Chris

[ Parent ]

Love It! (5.00 / 8) (#42)
by adiffer on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 08:08:08 PM EST

My side aches now.  Good laugh and more.

I learned you are also expected to sit on the #kuro5hin IRC channel while your perfect story sits in the edit queue for the duration just in case someone wants to give you live advise you intend to ingore.

One way I judge the mood of the community is by how fast these introductory articles get voted up.  It may be that few people read them end to end, but they usually get voted to section or better with a great deal of speed.  

The introduction articles are actually good examples of how people are using the -1 vote in practice instead of theory.  If you want an article to take a while to get in, write about something a lot of people care about whether positive or negative.  The vote battle that ensues will ensure the 36 hour time limit is reached.  The people who don't care on intro articles are voting 0 if at all, so the vote gets concluded very quickly.

I will admit that I don't understand why people think these introductory articles are appropriate for the front page.  Most of them strike me as good 'Column' articles that should at least make it to section.

I invite everyone to think carefully about the psycology being demonstrated here after they are done laughing, though.  When a large number of people feel comfortable enough to write introductory/educational articles on a subject they really care about, we have a community that is quite willing to express and support its true level of diversity.  A few thousand humans are likely to have diverse backgrounds, interests, and goals.  The fact that we write about them here AND they get accepted is a sign that the forces of conformity normally present in large communities are struggling here.

-Dream Big.
--Grow Up.

I think some misinterpreted the message (3.66 / 3) (#43)
by dvchaos on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 08:32:02 PM EST

Introductions IS ok, just not BADLY WRITTEN ones. correct, no ?

--
RAR.to - anonymous proxy server!
HA HA HA HAAAAA (4.00 / 3) (#44)
by Dphitz on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 10:41:07 PM EST

Fat chicks in Party hats!  I love that link!

Seriously, this is one of the best articles I've ever seen on k5.  I just can't understand how some articles get posted up.  I mean, Pecan Pancakes?  WTF?


God, please save me . . . from your followers

What do you have against pecan pancakes? -nt- (none / 0) (#50)
by sticky on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:58:47 AM EST




Don't eat the shrimp.---God
[ Parent ]
Cooler-than-thou (none / 0) (#77)
by p3d0 on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 01:38:15 AM EST

Good lord, this place is going to turn into Slashdot. Can't people just post stories about what they like without someone telling how dumb they are? If you don't like something, vote it down, and/or don't read it. Simple.

I used to think this place was different.
--
Patrick Doyle
My comments do not reflect the opinions of my employer.
[ Parent ]

Oh Captain, My Captain! (4.25 / 4) (#46)
by Verminator on Thu Sep 26, 2002 at 11:57:15 PM EST

Great article Tenille,very apropos as the two stories below are introductions to something or another.

And you've motivated me to finally write that 'introduction to used prophylactic kinetic sculpture' article I've always wanted to do!

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to misery, misery links to Satanosphere.

Your guide didn't work for me. (4.71 / 7) (#47)
by BinaryTree on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:07:16 AM EST

Maybe I wasn't following the directions correctly, but my article about napkin folding didn't make it.

Yay! Lets make fun of fat people!!!! (3.75 / 4) (#48)
by kholmes on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:24:12 AM EST

I am not amused.

If you treat people as most people treat things and treat things as most people treat people, you might be a Randian.
I thought you people were supposed to be jolly? (3.50 / 4) (#56)
by evilpenguin on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 06:15:22 AM EST


--
# nohup cat /dev/dsp > /dev/hda & killall -9 getty
[ Parent ]
They are... (none / 0) (#63)
by br284 on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 10:18:23 AM EST

... when they think you're laughing at other fat people and not them in particular. I guess kholmes is a fan of hats.

-Chris

[ Parent ]

Why not? (none / 0) (#76)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 07:23:16 PM EST

If you're fat then you should exercise.  Internet ridicule will encourage you to do so.  I've been riding my exercise bike every day and I am happy to report that I am less big and even more sexy.  (If that's even possible.)

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
Because (5.00 / 1) (#80)
by kholmes on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 04:15:22 AM EST

"If you're fat then you should exercise."

Yes. But not to avoid your ridicule.

"Internet ridicule will encourage you to do so."

No. Often the opposite happens.

However, can you honestly say that you make fun of fat people to help them loose weight? Bigotry will get you no where.

If you treat people as most people treat things and treat things as most people treat people, you might be a Randian.
[ Parent ]

Hmph (2.00 / 1) (#51)
by Pseudonym on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 01:23:27 AM EST

And just what do you have against screenplays, then? Hmmm?



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
you forgot (4.00 / 2) (#52)
by turmeric on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 01:25:50 AM EST

you must link your 'hobby' to how much the followers
of it have been oppressed by a cruel and heartless
society

OMG - A BG fan club! (4.00 / 2) (#53)
by NoNeeeed on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 05:36:34 AM EST

I nearly pissed myself reading it.

And the fat chicks in hats.

I think I'm going to have a hugh grin on my face for the rest of the day.

Thank you so much for that.

The article was pretty good too.  I can't stand these Introduction to... articles.  Could we not have a "Stupid introductions to things no one cares about" section that they could get put on?

Paul

How about an article (3.33 / 3) (#54)
by sawilson on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 05:41:08 AM EST

about those typical articles that are written
about those common articles talking about
those types of articles dealing with subject
matter related to articles that we don't want
to see anymore?


Sig:(This is your diatribe full of your titles
and lame beliefs and causes so men are impressed
with you and women want to bear your childr
An idea to help newbie's, and tired pro's. (3.50 / 2) (#55)
by tonyenkiducx on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 05:54:12 AM EST

Yes, I've had another one, break out the candles(Three this time) and the "Happy Idea" cake. There is always the possibility that because You've been sat writing a story for the past six millennia that You've gone a little off track, or just started rambling nonsense. Or you could be a newbie who doesn't quite know how to play the K5 crowd yet, and you end up with a perfectly good article getting ridiculed. And posting the final work to the edit queue is a good way to get a bit of a quick idea on how it might go down with the K5 audience. However, I think it would be helpful if there was a Review Queue, so that you can post a story and have it criticised and poked at, to test the waters before you post the final thing. The queue could then allow you to pass the story onto the edit queue, or take it off all together. I think it would have to be put somewhere other than moderate submissions so people concentrate on moderating rather than criticising.

My reason for suggesting this? I once spent ages writing a guide to web programming, and with it being my first article I left it wide open to flames and the like, and it got through the edit queue OK but then got hammered straight down to -20 in the voting queue. Not necessarily because it was a bad article(Although it may have been), but because it went through the edit queue before anyone got a chance to make topical comments..

Tony.
I see a planet where love is foremost, where war is none existant. A planet of peace, and a planet of understanding. I see a planet called utopia. And I see us invading that planet, because they'd never expect it
tip (2.00 / 1) (#60)
by codemonkey_uk on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 08:42:27 AM EST

Preview in the diary section.
---
Thad
"The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
[ Parent ]
Thanks (4.50 / 2) (#66)
by lonemarauder on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 11:32:05 AM EST

This antidote was badly needed.



So what do you want? (3.00 / 2) (#69)
by miasma on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 12:26:24 PM EST

Well, I think your story is funny, but I don't understand the complaint anyway.
After all, that's the intention of the voting system, isn't it? The majority of voters obviously do care enough to vote it up. Also, what you want is stories everyone cares about? Go to CNN.

--
"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God." - G.Bush sen.
no no no. (none / 0) (#84)
by MattOly on Sun Sep 29, 2002 at 07:12:10 PM EST

The point isn't that no one cares about these stories, it was a parody reflecting the sheer volume of stories like this that have been flooding the queue. You can parody something and still respect it. Never watched Canonball Run?

====
A final note to...the Republican party. You do not want to get into a fight with David Letterman. ...He's simply more believable than you are.
[ Parent ]

....mmh, interesting article (5.00 / 2) (#73)
by Niha on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 04:43:06 PM EST

It is a very interesting article, indeed.Just two points: 1)what does the fat chicks in party hats have to do with the rest? 2)why is it so surprising that you could have a female reader? P.D How do you put links in your article?

Against my better judgement, I shall respond. (5.00 / 2) (#74)
by Captain_Tenille on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 04:56:08 PM EST

re 1.) Absolutely nothing. That was the point.

re 2.) It's not.

As far as putting links in the article, a nifty thing called "HTML" works wonders. HREF's and what not.

I wonder if you missed the entire point of the article. Try reading it again.
----
/* You are not expected to understand this. */

Man Vs. Nature: The Road to Victory!
[ Parent ]

how to hyperlink (none / 0) (#75)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Fri Sep 27, 2002 at 07:16:42 PM EST

The HTML code for hyperlinking is as follows:
<A HREF="The page you're linking to.">The text the reader sees</a>

K5 accepts text as HTML code so it will work here.  It would also work if you made your own website.  You can look at the bottom of the screen under "Allowed HTML" when you post, if you forget.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]

Redundant (none / 0) (#78)
by axxeman on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 02:17:03 AM EST

Pecan Pancakes article already said it all.

Being or not being married isn't going to stop bestiality or incest. --- FlightTest

my thoughts (none / 0) (#79)
by everyplace on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 03:38:59 AM EST

fucking brilliant. that's all i have to say.

Nobody cares about the article (none / 0) (#83)
by broken77 on Sat Sep 28, 2002 at 04:41:59 PM EST

...yet it gets voted on and posted. Funny, that.

I'm starting to doubt all this happy propaganda about Islam being a religion of peace. Heck, it's just as bad as Christianity. -- Dphitz

A Brief Introduction to Writing a Brief Introduction About Some Activity No One Cares About on K5 | 86 comments (68 topical, 18 editorial, 0 hidden)
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