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How to complain about k5: a user's guide.

By Joh3n in Meta
Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 08:19:54 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)

Whether you are but a n00b, or a seasoned practitioner of the k5 black arts, you may be wondering to yourself, 'I have a complaint regarding this site, what should I do?'. This article serves as a primer on the ways in which you, yes you can begin to complain about kuro5hin.org.

The simplest way to introduce yourself to complaining on K5 is through the use of examples. As such, here's 10 sure fire ways to vent your frustration, whatever it may be.

Example #1: The old-timer

A kid tested, mom approved approach is to leverage your UID or your post count to bolster your complaint. Suggestions include 'I remember the DDOS, and even then it wasn't this bad' or 'I can look back to the days when this site had discussion'. Be careful though, as this approach warrants a 'oh yeah, well, my UID is lower than yours, pal!' rejoinder.

Example #2: The Slashdot gambit

If, at certain times, the level of trolling, and/or crapflooding rises in volume, the Slashdot gambit may be played. Phrases such as 'oh great, next thing you know frist p0st will appear', or 'rusty's middle name is taco' can be batted about with reckless abandon. Note: the clever poster will point out that this URL happens to point here.

Example #3: Monocle polish

A sure-fire method to express your anger is if you subscribed. In this variant, you can easily leverage the fact that you donated to K5, but have seen little results since, aside from hotlists and reply tracking. Bonus points go to those who equate server costs with Vespas and boats.

Example #4: Saddam strikes back

In the event K5 displeases you, make sure to lambaste the political submissions to the queue. Combining with the 'old-timer' play can work wonders here, but make sure to cite evidence, lest you be tripped up. A caution, however: be wary of posting against politics and arguing it at the same time, you may be caught!

Example #5: The ox cart defense

No matter how droll your post, nothing beats a good 'I would have posted something witty, but it took forever for K5 to load, so I gave up' excuse. Conspiracy theories, and general malaise can all find a happy home in this ploy, so dig in! Bonus goes to those who mention scoop patches or Google spidering.

Example #6: The roto-rooter

A variant of #2, but deserving of it's own place in the list. Those in the know can hardly scoff at a claim that crapflooding is ruining the site. Use terms like 'edit queue abuse' or '$USER is back again, when will rusty ban this guy?', and the road to success is free and clear.

Example #7: Single point failure

Sometimes you can't articulate your complaint towards K5 in general, but fear not, just use a scapegoat! Focus your anger on a single user, and in no time flat, you'll be feeling fine. Easy targets are people who spell their names with a lot of spaces, or turmeric.

Example #8: Illuminati

A spin off of the single point failure, but with a slightly different philosophy. Blaming secret groups, cabals, or rusty clones for K5's ills is a great stand-by manoeuvre. Don't lean too heavily on this one though, as many .sigs have been devoted disavowing such groups existence.

Example #9: Leaviní on a Jet Plane

Why just complain, when you can take action? Nothing gets your annoyance with K5 across better than threatening to leave. Make sure to pepper some of your better reasons for leaving with profanity for that extra punch. Be wary though, a common counter attack is the 'don't let the door hit your ass on the way out' play.

Example #10: Supersize your combo meal

Seasoned complaint masters will not use a single move, but intertwine many to craft their volley. Try showing how a single user is turning K5 into Slashdot. Argue that a cabal is responsible for the slowness. Call all political arguments crapfloods. The permutations are endless. Use 4 or more in one single complaint, and you are truly a Zen master.

This article serves only as an introduction to some of the most common modes of complaint on K5, ready willing, and able to do the job in the event of frustration. But by no means is this list complete. In fact, I hope you use this as a template to craft your own complaints to take K5 to the next level. Now rant on!


Voxel dot net
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Related Links
o Slashdot
o Scoop
o Google
o this URL
o Also by Joh3n

Display: Sort:
How to complain about k5: a user's guide. | 72 comments (67 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
Bah! (4.76 / 34) (#2)
by ucblockhead on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 02:45:47 PM EST

I remember a day when k5 never had users who abused the queue like this. Why Rusty doesn't ban this joh3n loser, I don't know. Have the problems on this site are caused by the political crapflooding of his little "group" of secret friends. I suspect that Rusty is too busy sailing on his $35,000 yacht to notice the crapflooding of these losers, who appear bent on turning this place into slashdot.

I've had it with this place, and this joh3n loser and his edit queue abuse, so I'm outta here.

(This post was originally much longer, but after fifteen failed attempts, I got sick of rewriting the whole thing. Why doesn't Rusty get off of his Vespa and install postgres!? I hear that the patch that does this was written months ago.)
This is k5. We're all tools - duxup

Oh yeah? (4.07 / 13) (#9)
by Anonymous Commando on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 03:16:39 PM EST

well, my uid is lower than yours, pal!
Corporate Jenga™: You take a blockhead from the bottom and you put him on top...
[ Parent ]
Oh yeah?!? (3.77 / 9) (#16)
by porkchop_d_clown on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 08:25:02 AM EST

Well my uid is lower than yours!

Oh, wait....

Well, it's close, dammit!

"Your article (and I use that term losely) is just a ad-hominem filled rant from a right-wing extremist loony." - Psycho Les

[ Parent ]
bah (5.00 / 1) (#43)
by Wah on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 12:58:39 AM EST

I've been making a fool of myself here since Anonymous Heros roamed the plains an plains and everyone's userid was smaller that all of you whipper-snappers combined.

BTW, Hilary Rosen resigned (check link for why that is somewhat topical for this post about how, um, people with 3 digit UID's are somehow cool, or something.)
Fail to Obey?
[ Parent ]

and back then (4.50 / 2) (#44)
by Wah on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 12:59:37 AM EST

we even had outrageous typos.  Some things never change.
Fail to Obey?
[ Parent ]
low IDs (none / 0) (#70)
by Mitheral on Tue Jan 28, 2003 at 06:02:54 PM EST

I think one of the warning signs of the pending apocolypse will be when the low IDs stop posting. It's a sure sign a site has taken several steps in a new (better/worse?) direction.

[ Parent ]
I would've voted this up... (4.53 / 15) (#3)
by Anonymous Commando on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 02:48:06 PM EST

...but the server was so slow...
Corporate Jenga™: You take a blockhead from the bottom and you put him on top...
rife with misspellings, +1FP! (4.14 / 14) (#4)
by DesiredUsername on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 02:53:50 PM EST

Let the quality of the front page reflect that of the backend.

Play 囲碁
This time... (5.00 / 2) (#38)
by yankeehack on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 09:51:34 PM EST

it looks like he needs to work on his capitalization and grammar skills too.

Who does he think he is, a K5 celebrity or something?

No one who was bad in bed has ever been good in life (i.e. liberals, I've never had sex with a liberal woman who knew how to use her body.) Keeteel :-P I'm *right*!
[ Parent ]

Oh, shut up Rusty (4.16 / 12) (#7)
by jmzero on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 03:11:52 PM EST

We know it's you, so just give up.  We're not going to quit telling you your server sucks just because you post some pseudonym article saying "complaining is dumb".  

But you're right, complaining is dumb.  I'm going back to /. - at least the editors there abuse us without disguising their names.
"Let's not stir that bag of worms." - my lovely wife

Quit trolling! (none / 0) (#29)
by sllort on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 06:41:15 PM EST

Even if Rusty was tumeric, what would would you say to a neo-nazi K5 reader? There isn't a single neo-nazi K5 reader who's interested in this kind of drivel.
Warning: On Lawn is a documented liar.
[ Parent ]
OMG LOL +1 fp (3.66 / 6) (#11)
by roam on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 03:33:57 PM EST

But I think you should have included an example that mentions the CMF.  Even though we all know that the whole CMF thing was just a scam, it's still a point of contention for the "k5 complainers".

Are they like hamsters?
Specifically, can I tape up a chinchilla, slather him in axle grease, and shove him up my ass? - Patrick Bateman

+1 FP (2.83 / 6) (#12)
by explodingheadboy on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 07:20:51 PM EST

I've been here just barely long enough to appriciate this... and boy is it great.

Q: If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse?
A: None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!!

[*rmg is dying]

However... (4.33 / 3) (#34)
by carbon on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 08:55:00 PM EST

You apparently haven't been around here quite long enough to understand what 'Editorial comment' means.

Wasn't Dr. Claus the bad guy on Inspector Gadget? - dirvish
[ Parent ]
Actually I just slipped and didnt notice. [nt] (none / 0) (#59)
by explodingheadboy on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 05:30:28 PM EST

Q: If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse?
A: None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!!

[*rmg is dying]
[ Parent ]

The billy goat gambit (4.00 / 5) (#13)
by mayo on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 07:45:55 PM EST

Also, who could forget the ploy whereby you release pent up frustration by claiming that all the real users left k5 long ago and now its virtual halls are inhabited mainly by trolls and angsty teenagers.

ooh, tell me a story! (3.50 / 4) (#20)
by evilpckls on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 09:10:37 AM EST

i want to hear the one about the three billy goats gambit!

"oh, bread... oh.. baby... ohhh... fluffy goodness..." --nstenz
[ Parent ]

It's like this (4.55 / 9) (#25)
by babylago on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 05:32:36 PM EST

Fischer offered the Three Billy Goats Gambit, Spassky took it, mate in 14 moves. Fischer wins 7-5.

[ Blog | Hunnh ]
[ Parent ]
A story (4.90 / 10) (#31)
by mayo on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 06:56:48 PM EST

Well the first billy goat tried to cross the bridge but the troll underneath stopped him and said "this bridge is dying. Go back to slashdot" and the billy goat was sent running back to his billygoat brothers with his tail between his legs.

When the second billygoat heard about this he thought up his wittiest reply and approached the bridge, certain the response he'd prepared would see him through. But the troll had changed its tactics.


Finally the poor billy goat could stand no more of the troll's ironic whining and fled with bleeding ears.

Finally the third billygoat got wind of what was going on approached the bridge with fury in his eyes. You see, he was somewhat stronger and angrier than the others for this goat was blixco who, as you should know from reading his diaries, is angst incarnate. And he didst smite the troll with angry prose before doling out an ass whupping the likes of which no troll has ever felt.

And the bridge was safe once more and the goats rejoiced.

[ Parent ]
Wait...... (none / 0) (#61)
by blixco on Sat Jan 25, 2003 at 01:20:00 AM EST

.....are you calling me a goat?

Or are you calling me mrgoat?

Either way, someone owes me an apology and several million in emotional damages.

"No. Seriously. Mace the fuckers with prose." - Parent ]

Nah (5.00 / 1) (#62)
by mayo on Sat Jan 25, 2003 at 01:05:53 PM EST

The deciding factor was your healthy level of angsty goodness. It just seemed appropriate for the goat that got to smite the troll.

[ Parent ]
tumeric. (2.50 / 4) (#14)
by postindustrialist on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 09:11:44 PM EST

hehehehehe.. poor, poor tumeric.. i can't give this a good vote though. it's just not funny enouygh nor does it seem to make much of a statement.
oooh.. looks likes somebody has anger problems.
question everything.
this sig is only one hundred and fifty characters long and it's still not eno
That does it. (4.61 / 13) (#15)
by mrgoat on Wed Jan 22, 2003 at 09:31:40 PM EST

Man, I remember the old DDOS days, and even then this site wasn't spammed with the tripe this Joh3n, and only Joh3n is spewing here. He's done this before, he's at it again, why won't rusty put down the monocle polish, ride his vespa off the damn yacht (which is obviously where the subscription money is going) and ban him already? I suspect turmeric has started a conspiratorial group, much like slashdot, (see where this is going?) dedicated to the lowering of k5 to it's level, and it seems to be working. That's it! I'm going to leave if this keeps up.

P.S. I'd have posted something longer, but this will take long enough to post as it is.

"I'm having sex right now?" - Joh3n
--Top Hat--

On your way then, sonny. (4.25 / 4) (#18)
by synaesthesia on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 08:37:47 AM EST

By the looks of your UID you've only just arrived anyway.

Sausages or cheese?
[ Parent ]
Newbie (nt) (3.83 / 6) (#24)
by fluffy grue on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 04:48:22 PM EST

[ Parent ]
You forget (4.00 / 4) (#17)
by werty on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 08:34:21 AM EST

The self-congratulatory tone. Just as well I'm here to set you straight!

Grammarian, OpenBSD (4.55 / 9) (#19)
by johnny on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 08:46:54 AM EST

You have "it's" where you meant "its."

This is typical of the type of comments we get these days. It's depressing.

"Technology and Culture, from the Trenches." Right. If this site knew anything about technology it would run on OpenBSD, not stupid-old politically-correct Linux. If Rusty when awake knew half as much about webmastering as I do when I'm sleeping, this site would run fifty times faster than it does.

yr frn,
Get your free download of prizewinning novels Acts of the Apostles and Cheap Complex Devices.

agreed! (1.00 / 7) (#23)
by MattyBoy on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 04:42:30 PM EST

Every time i post on her i get corrected on my spelling and grammer. Im not really paying attention to what i type, cause im typeing as fast as possible.. i could care less as long as the point gets across. for all those that don't like my lack of punctuation in this comment replace every letter with "I'm a fucking anal little bitch"

RocketBike does rad wheelies for the freedom of the homeland turf!
[ Parent ]
blah blah blah (1.66 / 6) (#26)
by Abominable Abitur on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 05:43:05 PM EST

You're a dumbass.

"Terrorism is only a viable "political activist" method for marginalized nutjobs, bottom line. The backlash that it causes makes it intractable for any reasonable ideology. Which is why you don't generally see wild athiest suicide bombers in america's streets." - lonelyhobo
[ Parent ]
hahahaha (none / 0) (#51)
by MattyBoy on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 10:42:55 AM EST

do you know the word "projection"?

RocketBike does rad wheelies for the freedom of the homeland turf!
[ Parent ]
Projections (none / 0) (#57)
by Abominable Abitur on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 03:06:29 PM EST

I work with them every day. Usually I just work in one projection, but every now and then I receive data in another projection and I have to re-project it. It's tough when the other person doesn't follow the standard rules and I'm forced to interpret what they're trying to communicate with their data. Sometimes I bother because it's important, sometimes I ask them to standardize their data, but most often I just disregard their data. My time is too important to bother with sloppy people and their lazy habits.

"Terrorism is only a viable "political activist" method for marginalized nutjobs, bottom line. The backlash that it causes makes it intractable for any reasonable ideology. Which is why you don't generally see wild athiest suicide bombers in america's streets." - lonelyhobo
[ Parent ]
well you know, (4.62 / 8) (#21)
by anon868 on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 11:25:21 AM EST

Yesterday when I went to renew my subscription, it took 1/2 hour and several tries. Actually, this post was originally a 6 page long discussion on how K5 can be improved, including several code patches that would have had the site running faster than ever, but sadly, K5 ate my post. Oh and Rusty, take that $12 I gave you, and go buy some Monacle polish.

how was that?
Open a window. No, not that one! One made from actual glass, set in an acual wall, you dork.

But I have a real complaint! (2.75 / 4) (#22)
by Hired Goons on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 01:57:51 PM EST

Why IS the site taking 6.02x10^23 Earth years to load up?
You calling that feature a bug? THWAK
Because... (5.00 / 6) (#39)
by OzJuggler on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 11:57:20 PM EST

Because the web server is administered by Avogadro.
But I think you're making a mountain out of a mol hill.


Explanation for those who need it.
"And I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together
at Osama's homo abortion pot and commie jizzporium." - Jon Stewart's gift to Bill O'Reilly, 7 Dec 2005.
[ Parent ]

oh dear (nt) (none / 0) (#48)
by fink on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 09:11:25 AM EST

[ Parent ]
no no no (none / 0) (#56)
by drivers on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 02:47:43 PM EST

You're thinking of this site

[ Parent ]
waitaminute (4.00 / 3) (#27)
by chimera on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 05:49:39 PM EST

I remember seeing this article several months ago, but the backend sems to have aten the stored version. well, that's real sad. *polishes spectacles*

Translation: (5.00 / 6) (#33)
by Pseudonym on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 07:33:45 PM EST

Here, let me help you with your style a bit...

I remember seeing this article several months ago, [...]

Prefer: I've been here for a long time, and people Just Don't Get It. What's with all the duplicate posts? Are we turning into That Other Site?!

[...] but the backend sems to have aten the stored version. [...]

Prefer: The server sucks! Stuff disappears, it takes ages to load... Stop with the monocle polish and do something!

well, that's real sad.

Prefer: This place is going downhill fast. I'm leaving if this keeps up!

*polishes spectacles*

Excellent closing, though. The textual emoticon really rubs it in.

Hope this helps.

sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
ahh, republican humor (3.71 / 7) (#28)
by tokage on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 06:13:14 PM EST

Nothing left to do but guffaw, I suppose.

You can dazzle us with a meta-meta next.

I always play / Russian roulette in my head / It's 17 black, or 29 red

Turmeric! (4.00 / 2) (#30)
by hans on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 06:45:01 PM EST

As I was reading #7, I thought about posting a comment that turmeric is a great candidate here.  Then I read the last sentence.  

self-fulfilling prophecy? (3.83 / 6) (#32)
by circletimessquare on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 07:00:34 PM EST

I just think it is time to revisit the faq and see the omen: that "kuro5hin" is a too self-fulfilling prophetic sort of name for this site when it comes to database performance. ;-P

Consider these excerpts from the faq:

Where does Kuro5hin.org get its name?
No, it is most decidedly not 'l337. It is a pun on Rusty's name. Kuro5hin = corrosion = rust == rusty.
What bridge is in the logo?
It is the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, which collapsed into Puget Sound near Tacoma, Washington, in November of 1940 (MAP #1). It seems the engineers did not figure out the bridge's resonance frequency, and it shook itself into little bits during a fairly light breeze. It is a pretty famous example of bad engineering.
Rusty: "As for why it is my mascot, I suppose I just feel like that sometimes. Software tends to exhibit the same properties, and shakes itself into little useless bits with greater frequency and less provocation than bridges. And I think it goes along well with the name Kuro5hin.org, which might suggest failure, decay, and collapse to anyone who manages to figure out how to pronounce it."

I mean, don't get me wrong, kuro5hin is a pretty cool name for the site, considering the quasi-Japanese gothic nature of it... until the database crawls, and then you must think of the prophetic nature of it all. ;-P

C:\>tracert life.liberty.pursuit-of-happiness

Slogan (3.50 / 2) (#41)
by rusty on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 12:21:18 AM EST

The site's very first slogan was "Watching it all go to hell." To be fair, I was in a rotten mood the day I added that, but still. :-)

Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
maybe (5.00 / 1) (#53)
by circletimessquare on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 12:36:13 PM EST

Maybe if you named the site funhappyprozac.org the database would work fine all the time. lol ;-P
C:\>tracert life.liberty.pursuit-of-happiness
[ Parent ]
www.TotalSucce55.org :-) (5.00 / 1) (#54)
by rusty on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 01:12:40 PM EST

Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
# 11 (5.00 / 6) (#35)
by Stick on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 09:12:08 PM EST

Blame voxel.

Stick, thine posts bring light to mine eyes, tingles to my loins. Yea, each moment I sit, my monitor before me, waiting, yearning, needing your prose to make the moment complete. - Joh3n
I beg to differ (none / 0) (#55)
by jt on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 01:35:26 PM EST

I think we should blame texel.

[ Parent ]
# 12 (none / 0) (#58)
by dilinger on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 04:49:30 PM EST

Blame Raj (Voxel's CEO). If you blame the corporate entity Voxel, there's not much that can be done. If you blame Raj, however, I can pass along assorted punches, kicks, and bitchslaps.

[ Parent ]
Why complain? (4.60 / 5) (#36)
by arose on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 09:19:43 PM EST

I'm not going to complain just because the server is slower than a slashdoted C64.
Dzīvot ir kaitīgi, no tā mirst.
So thats where it went... (none / 0) (#63)
by explodingheadboy on Sat Jan 25, 2003 at 01:50:24 PM EST

I used to have a C64 in my basement... but one day it somehow disappeared...

Q: If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse?
A: None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!!

[*rmg is dying]
[ Parent ]

#8, Illuminati Variation (4.66 / 3) (#37)
by Valdrax on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 09:36:50 PM EST

You forgot the mention the variant of complaining that the vast majority of users of kuro5hin are intolerant of X viewpoint.  (i.e. Anti-drug, pro-religion, pro-Israel, etc. -- whatever subject gets you low comment ratings whenever you post about it.)  Instead of a small group of masterminds, you bemoan, "Woe is me; I am persecuted for my minority opinion, and kuro5hin is too politically biased to accept me."

My hard-earned money (4.14 / 7) (#40)
by Silent Chris on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 12:02:33 AM EST

Not to be a jackass but, well (being a jackass)... I think I have every right to exercise #3.  I was under the impression that Rusty was having difficulty paying for the site, and work on it was preventing money from a "real" job.  This prevented the site from operating anywhere close to efficiently.  Many months and nearly $200 later, the site is just as slow, if not worse, than what it was before.  

When you donate to a charity, you typically get a statement saying what percentage of your donation goes to administrative costs, different causes, etc. (for example, a great deal of American Cancer Society donations go to education about cancer -- but not research).  There was nothing like that for K5.  I, and others (as far as I can tell) made the assumption that Rusty was going to use the money primarily to keep the site running.  Instead, the site is more down than ever before.

trademark violation notice (4.95 / 20) (#42)
by turmeric on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 12:39:05 AM EST

Dear sir and or madam We at turmeric enterprises , legal division, would like to hereby notify and inform you of a trademark violation on your website. The following violations have occured: Violation the first: Use of the trademarked (service marked) name 'turmeric' without prior approval from turmeric enterprises, LLC. Violation the second: Use of the trademarked (service marked) name 'turmeric' in a derogatroy or negative light, inlcuding, but not limited to, the phrases trolling, crapflooding, or other synonyms, or otherwise implying that turmeric is associated with poor quality articles. We hereby order you to shut down your website within a period of 24 (twenty four) hours of receipt of this letter. Thank you for your cooperation. -- Turmeric enterprises, llc, legal division sodney harmbuckle esquire the third

Ha! (none / 0) (#68)
by carbon on Tue Jan 28, 2003 at 06:01:19 AM EST

I have given you a 4 instead of a 5, ruining your perfect mega-5 score! Feel the burn!

Wasn't Dr. Claus the bad guy on Inspector Gadget? - dirvish
[ Parent ]
you ingrate (5.00 / 1) (#69)
by turmeric on Tue Jan 28, 2003 at 12:02:07 PM EST

its people like you that make the world ugly. if you foudn a flower growing in the sidewalk youd kill it just for spite. if your mom was dying of cancer youd make fun of her bald head. if your children got beat up at school youd give them up for adoption. i pity the sick twisted soul that is locked inside the prison of your illness.

[ Parent ]
Yo mama! <n/t> (5.00 / 1) (#71)
by carbon on Tue Jan 28, 2003 at 07:53:50 PM EST

Wasn't Dr. Claus the bad guy on Inspector Gadget? - dirvish
[ Parent ]
The BEST way to "complain" about K5 (4.50 / 2) (#45)
by Fuck the police on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 01:24:29 AM EST

Is to write facetious articles about complaining, effectively complaining about K5 users, and hence, K5 itself.


BTW: My UID is much higher than yours!

# Fuck the police, muthahfucka!
I complain! (2.50 / 4) (#46)
by johwsun on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 02:53:37 AM EST

because there is not a knowledge tree in kuro5hin, in order to define all initial desitions and values of our Universe. (and maybe let us vote at some branches of the tree)

Everyone can give up on #1 now that I'm here (5.00 / 2) (#47)
by kraant on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 06:56:09 AM EST

My UID is almost certainly lower than yours unless you're one of a very select group...

"kraant, open source guru" -- tumeric
Never In Our Names...

Not so fast sonny (5.00 / 2) (#49)
by Emacs on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 09:13:14 AM EST

You young whipper snappers need to show a little respect for your elders.

Yes, I was here back when Rusty went away for a ski-ing weekend and opened up the story queue for voting for the very first time.

Now run along.

[ Parent ]

Hah. (none / 0) (#60)
by kichigai on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 11:12:25 PM EST

My UID is so low, I don't even know what it is!
"I said I was smart, I never said I was mature!"

[ Parent ]
38594 [NT] (none / 0) (#72)
by kraant on Wed Jan 29, 2003 at 07:29:33 AM EST

"kraant, open source guru" -- tumeric
Never In Our Names...
[ Parent ]
Funny (4.00 / 1) (#50)
by RickySilk on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 10:18:46 AM EST

This is funny, but I really hate complainers. However, considering the fact that Rusty is paid to maintain K5 and make us all happy I suppose that gives all you haters the right to complain. Anyhow, my favorite technique is the figure-four-leg-lock.

kung foo let us waste your time
Here's My Complaint (4.60 / 5) (#52)
by gauntlet on Fri Jan 24, 2003 at 11:20:07 AM EST

Damnit Rusty! Why'd you have to go an make it fast again? I was actually getting something done at work last week. :(

Into Canadian Politics?

No Offense (4.66 / 3) (#64)
by kholmes on Sat Jan 25, 2003 at 10:36:47 PM EST

But I was going to write a rather lenghthy article and then I saw this article. Anymore it just sounds like the people on this site are trying to find reasons for this site to exist. From the slapback society political articles to this meta meta kind of criticism who enough people agree with to decide to consider "humor". Its not that you guys don't take a discussion forum seriously enough but rather you don't take it seriously at all. Just a bit of advice: change the nature of this website from a democracy to an aristocracy or change the name of it from kuro5hin to nihilism.org.

Put some intelligent guy who believes that running this website is worthwhile and is worthwhile for specific reasons and *put him in charge*. If some people dislike the nature of the website and decide to leave then *let them leave*. The only trusted users should be an elite chosen by the aristocrat. Only then perhaps you people will take pride in the site you participate in--not because "hey...look! its a democracy!"--but because people decide to check their spelling, correct their grammar, read the links, and write good interesting articles only because the standards have been set so high. And good articles will attract the sort of people this site needs to write them---and debate them---in good form and on the whole *constructively*.

Read my .sig

If you treat people as most people treat things and treat things as most people treat people, you might be a Randian.

Ok, I'll bite (3.00 / 1) (#65)
by Joh3n on Sun Jan 26, 2003 at 04:08:30 PM EST

Actually, I wrote this thing way to late at night after reading something like 20-25 diaries which complained about the site in succession.  I realized that a fair portion of my non-diary comments were also just a bunch of complaints about the site.

Simply put, the article really wasn't a meta complaint about the site, but a meta complaint (hypocritical to the max) about complaining.  Also, I think everyone needed a bit of humour, thus that little banana icon.

As for your requests for site maintenance and article stewardship, looks like you got both recently.
You can learn a lot about someone by popping in their un-rewound pr0n tape and seeing where exactly they came.
[ Parent ]

What do you mean? (5.00 / 1) (#67)
by kholmes on Sun Jan 26, 2003 at 07:24:31 PM EST

"As for your requests for site maintenance and article stewardship, looks like you got both recently."

What do you mean? Has there been some changes I'm not aware of?

If you treat people as most people treat things and treat things as most people treat people, you might be a Randian.
[ Parent ]

That's hilarious! (5.00 / 1) (#66)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Sun Jan 26, 2003 at 04:44:25 PM EST

I didn't think you had it in you!

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
How to complain about k5: a user's guide. | 72 comments (67 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
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