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[P]
"User Sponsorship and Managed Growth" an Executive Summary

By Nigga in Meta
Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 12:57:36 PM EST
Tags: Kuro5hin.org (all tags)
Kuro5hin.org

I know not everyone has the time to keep up on the drama
And that's fine like the chick from smallville Lang, Lana
So here's the condensed version, doped out like marijuana
It's a 1 act concept hip hop rhyme all up onya


[rusty]
Ayyo, ayyo, what's the use?
I know I got a long-ass fuse
But my wife and i can't take this abuse
So here's the latest, greatest site news
No more open recruit of crews
Instead they'll come by ones and twos
Through sponsorship of all you dudes!
Come bring the heckling and the boos
But I've already coded up the rules

[Michael Moore]
Dammit, here comes my noose
Adolf Foster didn't learn shit from jews
Yo, this shit got me singin the blues

[bc]
Truths that I deduce through rusty's clues:
It's all a ruse for membership dues

[Nigga]
Shit's getting wild like a double deuce deuce
And crazy like y'alls' screws loose
Don't fuck w/ rusty yo the dude's Zeus
Chill, relax, here have some couscous

[90% of K5]
K5, it's been noise not signal more and more often
But this, rusty, will be the final nail in its coffin
I wouldn't be here if I couldn't just walk-in
Nor would Tex Bigballs, c'mon you can't knock him
Boring stagnant group think, and no creative ruckus
C'mon rusty, can it, you know it'll fuck us.
And who would put their account on the line
To sponsor some monster who claims to be fine?

[Other 10%]
I don't know I kind of like it, bye bye hate
The site will be as it was back in '98
Hold on ok, I need to go masterbate

[Kitten]
Yo, I know my name means pussy, and thus vaginer
But at least my ass ain't a whining whiner!
And can't ya'll see "Nigga's" just a whitey?
"rabble rabble blah" yo come and fight me.

[Nigga]
No kitten I can't, unless I want a ban
I must sit here and take it like I'm not a man
All I can do is cry to an administrator
Since it doesn't matter who's the instigator
So give me a whiner's box for me to snitch to
Eventually they'll have no choice but to ditch you
And I'll be a complacent elitist narc bitch, true
But it's my only option should I dodge admin doom
Yo, I wanna be around still in April, May and June

Sponsors

Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure

Login

Poll
This executive summary was as equally informative as the original 500+ comment cluster fuck.
o Strongly Agree 26%
o Agree 12%
o Don't give a flying shit one way or a.. wait, you're giving away couscous? 33%
o Disagree 4%
o Strongly Disagree 9%
o More Informative (Submitted by Hide The Hamster) 13%

Votes: 181
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Also by Nigga


Display: Sort:
"User Sponsorship and Managed Growth" an Executive Summary | 153 comments (128 topical, 25 editorial, 1 hidden)
Why I value k5 (2.57 / 14) (#2)
by MichaelCrawford on Thu Mar 25, 2004 at 11:30:22 PM EST

Please see the longest comment ever in another story that's in edit right now.

I feel that kuro5hin is very valuable to me because it helps me to be a better writer. Not simply that, but that it has helped to make writing a wonderfully enjoyable part of my life.

I would hate to see k5 die. I don't know what the right thing is to do to fix the problems it has, but I do know that k5 is a very precious place on the Web, and it would be a grievous tragedy for it to perish.

It's worth whatever effort it takes to make things right.

One thing I can say is that I'm not comfortable with the sponsorship idea. I didn't know anyone on k5 when I joined, and remembering back at the time, I don't think I would have made the effort to sign up at all if I had had to get someone to sponsor me.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


Don't worry Mike, I had your shit covered (2.25 / 12) (#3)
by Nigga on Thu Mar 25, 2004 at 11:34:25 PM EST

in the [90% of K5 shit] don't go linking your long winded shit up here.. this is the executive summary.. Keep your shit to a couple sentences here, and make it rhyme if ya can. PLZ K THX

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Two kinds of writing I cannot do: (none / 1) (#71)
by MichaelCrawford on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 10:04:28 PM EST

Poetry and fiction. Not that I haven't tried. The results weren't pretty.

I'll at least keep this post brief, which isn't my usual way.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


[ Parent ]

You misunderstood, yo (none / 0) (#107)
by rustv on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 11:41:50 PM EST

Long winded, you said it,
But, give the guy credit.
It may look like prose,
but what you didn't know:
He's beatin' the beat.
Can't you see what I mean?

Check it:

I feel that kuro5hin is very valuable to me, because it helps me to be a better writer.
Not simply that, but that it has helped to make writing a wonderfully enjoyable part of my life.

Word.

I would hate to see k5 die.
I don't know what the right thing is to do to fix the problems it has,
but I do know that k5 is a very precious place on the Web,
and it would be a grievous tragedy for it to perish.

It's worth whatever effort it takes to make things right.  Ooooh baby.

One thing I can say is that I'm not comfortable with the sponsorship idea.
I didn't know anyone on k5 when I joined, and remembering back at the time,
I don't think I would have made the effort to sign
up at all if I had had to get someone to sponsor me.

Mmmmmmm, baby.

That dude's kinda old-school.
And his lines, dey ain't screamin'.
And his meter sucks ass;
But so do you, Nigga.

Peace

____
"Don't tase me, bro." --Andrew Meyer
[ Parent ]

*yawn* (none / 1) (#112)
by Nigga on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 10:40:07 AM EST

rusty, why must you take the tail off your y to troll me?
Keep this shit up i'll mash your face into guacamole

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

nigga, you're jealous (none / 0) (#116)
by rustv on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 12:29:03 PM EST

nigga, you're jealous.  You can't take what I give.
If you want a piece of me, you know where I live.

____
"Don't tase me, bro." --Andrew Meyer
[ Parent ]
Honestly (2.50 / 10) (#5)
by SilentChris on Thu Mar 25, 2004 at 11:50:45 PM EST

I just decided to stay here a bit longer because I'm really impressed by this poem!

Good to know. (none / 1) (#46)
by nkyad on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:44:18 PM EST

What would be of K5 without your quarter good-bye diary?

Don't believe in anything you can't see, smell, touch or at the very least infer from a good particle accelerator run


[ Parent ]
Better? <nt> (2.25 / 4) (#50)
by godix on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 02:36:14 PM EST



Thank god I'm worth more than SilentChris

[ Parent ]
hehe (2.00 / 11) (#7)
by conthefol on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 12:10:58 AM EST

[Nigga]
I think I can rap oh yeah yeah.
But all my lines sound forced-a.
Because I don't know any other-a.
Way to rhyme da da da da.

--
kuro5hin is about to E.X.P.L.O.D.E!!!

that (3.00 / 10) (#17)
by livus on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 05:45:07 AM EST

sounded like missy eliot.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

[ Parent ]
You're even cooler than Vanilla Ice! (2.40 / 5) (#8)
by Tatarigami on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 12:25:38 AM EST

500 comments means that less than 1% of the user base felt strongly enough to post (or that there were even more sock puppet accounts than we feared).

The rest are probably going to do like I plan to: wait and see. We've had people predicting the death of K5 almost since the doors first opened, but it hasn't happened yet.

It means there were less than 500 perspectives (none / 3) (#82)
by FlipFlop on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 11:07:33 AM EST

500 comments means that less than 1% of the user base felt strongly enough to post

Most of us simply don't bother posting when someone else has already posted what we planned to say. Although, I admit I posted after reading only half of the comments so it's possible my post was a duplicate (although I doubt it).

AdTI - The think tank that didn't
[ Parent ]

Heh. (2.60 / 5) (#9)
by regeya on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:00:55 AM EST

I've actually devoted thought to the problem tonight. Seriously! All I could come up with was something that sounded remarkably like Avogato. Plus, the whole circle-of-trust thing would apply mostly just to the sections you're trusted in. I might do a writeup but I'm sure it'll get voted down as meta-wankery and denounced as an unworkable plan. Yeah, guys; whatever.

[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]

Missing the point (none / 1) (#20)
by Blarney on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 06:44:51 AM EST

Who gives a crap if your plan is workable or not? Nobody in any position to implement it.

I think that, at this point, it's pretty obvious that Rusty will just do whatever he likes.

[ Parent ]

Well, duh. (2.66 / 9) (#23)
by regeya on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:20:48 AM EST

It is his site, after all, and it's never really been a democracy of any sort. Rusty's just been especially forgiving and mature about the whole thing. Can't say I'd have put up with the shit for more than an hour or so; he put up with it for several months for some reason.

Having said that (and to get OT for a moment, and given Rusty's dark mood of late, I'm risking banishment here ;-D), this site expects to survive based on financial contributions from its userbase, and Rusty's never (at least publicly admitted) given any preference to "paying members." Based on what a couple of former subscribers have said, other than the neato features, they had felt like they were given less preference. Read back through some old diaries where people publicly voiced their complaints. If they mention that they're subscribers, you'll see Rusty spouting off "it doesn't work that way" all the time. Okay, Rusty; so what do you do for your paying customers? Spell checking? Hotlists? But when it comes right down to it, the people who cared enough to pay to keep the lights on don't matter when the decisions are made?

A print publication that took that stance wouldn't last that long. And since Rusty apparently doesn't really care about the opinions of the people paying him to keep the site open, what's my incentive to help keep the lights on?

On the same track, if we go to a system where becoming a member involves getting a current user to sponsor you, where do you see kuro5hin.org in 6 months? I see a site banner change on the horizon, because the serious readership of the last couple of years just likes to whinge about conservatives and the existence (and the annoying need in free countries to respect the rights) of Christianity. Nobody brings anything new to the table; all we'll see are the same arguments about the US administration, about this, that, and the other, all told from exactly one political viewpoint. I see kuro5hin.org turning into an intellectually dead high-fiving left-wing atheist forum. Nothing wrong with those political viewpoints, mind you (and I consider myself to be more to the right, even!) but it would get a bit dull when dissenting parties aren't allowed in anymore, because no current members whant them in, and who knows if our fearless leader will tolerate the dissenting opinions if other readers complain enough?

Instead of doing that, why isn't anyone (yeah, yeah; sorry, I don't have time, either :-}) working on changes to make this site truly diverse? The most annoying trend, and it's a long-standing annoyance, can be seen nearly every time, say, a fiction story is posted. What do we see in multiple editorial comments?

"-1, Fiction"

I envision a system where ratings in individual sections give/take weight away from your ratings and votes in particular sections. What do I mean by that?

Well, let's say you mostly comment in *gag* politics, and have even managed to get a few political stories posted. The ratings you get in Politics affect how much weight your votes and ratings count in Politics. Getting stories posted to section would increase your influence. Getting stories posted FP would increase it even more.

In a similar vein, you could give the reader the option to ignore certain sections (say, technology.) When you do that, you forfeit any weight and influence you ever had over that section. In this way (I think) people could come to kuro5hin.org for the sections that influence them, and wouldn't have to put up with the "crap" they don't like.

Finally, Rusty could implement a PBS-style membership package, with varying levels of contribution. The higher the contribution level, the greater influence you have over each section. This would be an idealized version of what happens IRL; if you honestly think that the opinions of contributors don't matter, you're deluding yourself and setting yourself up for failure. This would have to be tempered with a policy that people abusing their newfound greater influence would be booted without refund.

I really haven't thought that all the way through, but that's my proposal. :-D

[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]
[ Parent ]

a neat idea (none / 0) (#52)
by Blarney on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 03:41:58 PM EST

If it matters, I think your system would be better than this goofy impossible sponsorship method. I think that anything would be better than that. Rusty seems to have become a fan of the MeFi model where there's actual users and there's pathetic spectators and nobody can become a full user anymore. This sponsorship idea is de facto the same thing as MeFi's complete freeze - I mean, how does an interested lurker apply for sponsorship? It's impossible!

I'm not saying that invitation-only boards are bad - I'm an active member of one myself. However, I was able to apply for membership with this board by contacting the administrators by email - how can a K5 reader do that? I suppose that any user with a public email address listed will just get sponsorship requests - and, because of the draconian penalties, just ignore them. Oh, I wish I'd made a spare account when I had the chance!

It is his site, after all, and it's never really been a democracy of any sort. Rusty's just been especially forgiving and mature about the whole thing. Can't say I'd have put up with the shit for more than an hour or so; he put up with it for several months for some reason.

Now I don't really know if I agree with that. I don't think that Rusty is "putting up with" anything that he doesn't need to. There's been lots of discussion about turning the operations of K5 over to some CMF group or something - and I get the real idea that Rusty has gotten a life and no longer really cares about K5. The question is, now that he's got other things to do, if he's sick of dealing with the usual problems of an open forum why doesn't he just do what he's been saying he'll do forever, why doesn't he just turn it over to someone else and just be a regular user? Why destroy it instead?

It seems to be that there's a lifecycle of BBS's, and they often end when the owner gets fed up and tears them to shreds.

[ Parent ]

Yeah (none / 0) (#96)
by regeya on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 05:32:24 PM EST

That's kinda why I haven't written a story, or a diary about it. I figure kuro5hin's pretty much dead now, so why bother?

[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]
[ Parent ]

If you want (none / 0) (#142)
by Wah on Wed Mar 31, 2004 at 01:55:00 PM EST

you can point out a site that did an amazing job getting people to pay to be editors..

Fark.com

Then you can look at about the worst..

Kuro5hin.org

Which did so by generally making people who pay become 'less' of an editor (If you pay for an account, you will use that one account for everything.  Trolls just load 'em up.)

I can't say there is a single difference about using K5 as a member or not.  Even the satisfaction of supporting something worthwhile kinda faded with the 'CMF', a.k.a. technology consulting for politicos.  

While k5 turned into adequacy.
--
sometimes things just are that way and that's it. They're true. Sure, Popper, et. al., may argue otherwise, but they're dead. You get it? Yet?
[ Parent ]

+1 diary (none / 1) (#72)
by RandomLiegh on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 10:29:26 PM EST

this idea deserves to be read, I think.

---
Thought of the week: There is no thought this week.
---
[ Parent ]
Push/pull moderation weighting (none / 0) (#110)
by bolson on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 06:04:26 AM EST

Interesting thought about weighting one's moderation based on others moderation of them. I think that is still vulnerable to power-clique-ing or multiple account dirty tricks.

The computational cost might be a bit severe, but I think Trust Network moderation is the way to go. The moderation ratings I see are based on the moderation of commenters I've modded up or otherwise indicated trust of their moderation in.

The problem with that is you might insulate yourself from seeing that diversitiy you like to read.

Patch on that, two-axis rating. Good-Bad. Agree-Disagree. I want to read Good posts whether or not I agree with them. The sense of the meeting could be gleaned from agree ratings.

Also, any single user's ratings can be modulated by the distribution over which they tend to rate. Take whatever distribution they do rate on, and transform their ratings so that it comes out a normal distribution. I think the Red Meat Construction Set does something like this.


Making Democracy Safe for the World (change the voting system)
[ Parent ]

ICE ICE BABY! (2.09 / 11) (#10)
by MechaA on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:54:45 AM EST

BUM BUBBALUM BUBBALUM BUM

k24anson on K5: Imagine fifty, sixty year old men and women still playing with their genitals like ten year olds!

Under Pressure! (none / 3) (#109)
by flaw on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 12:47:15 AM EST

Lookin' down on me, lookin' down on you. o/~

--
ピニス, ピニス, everyone loves ピニス!
[ Parent ]
Nigga annoys me (2.84 / 13) (#12)
by StephenThompson on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 02:41:20 AM EST

But, this is a good arguemt against killfiles; I might not have seen this if they existed.  

soon to be voted up (1.71 / 14) (#15)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 04:37:09 AM EST

soon to be voted up by all of the upper middle class suburban white boys (and probably written by one too)

yo! you hear my fetishization of black culture while i shit on it with my politics bro?


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

White boys can't rap? (none / 2) (#22)
by mr strange on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:15:19 AM EST

Vanilla Ice? Eminem?

And Elvis couldn't sing the blues.

intrigued by your idea that fascism is feminine - livus
[ Parent ]

vanilla ice? (1.83 / 6) (#24)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:21:25 AM EST

that's your proof positive?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

I know shit about rap. (none / 1) (#26)
by mr strange on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:29:46 AM EST

I'll freely admit it. I was merely trying to say that it's not the exclusive preserve of niggas from the hood.

intrigued by your idea that fascism is feminine - livus
[ Parent ]
i agree with you (1.88 / 9) (#28)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:39:42 AM EST

but neither is kuro5hin ;-)

jay z and ice cube owe much of their blingbling to the presence of wiggers

the same wiggers who fetishize african american culture shit all over it with their politics and social ideology

do you deny my point?

that being: the grand hypocrisy of suburban upper middle class white teenage males who coopt urban poor african american culture, while at the same time, proposing and believing in social policies and class politics which keep those african americans poor?

meanwhile, their fathers in their dens probably drown out their sons hip hop with mississippi delta blues music... the fetishization of the previous generation

all the while, the class politics of said wigger's grandfather created and sustained the poverty that spawns the music and culture these hypocrites wholeheartedly embrace... blind to the caustic role their beliefs play in the angst they feed off

rich man, so intent on feeding off and fetishizing the creative emanations of the suffering he helps create, and deny


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

Its bad for a white man to listen to black music? (none / 1) (#32)
by Altus on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:23:53 AM EST


I think Bob would disagree.

the music needs to be shared in order to mean anything.

ja love man.... ja love...
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
[ Parent ]

it's not bad to listen to any music (1.25 / 4) (#34)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:33:13 AM EST

but it is bad to listen to music from another culture and fetishize it, while you believe in social policies and adhere to classist ideologies which discriminate against that same culture

it's called hypocrisy

it goes on every day in the houses of rich white suburban republican youth


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

I think that is a little unfair (none / 2) (#35)
by Altus on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:47:26 AM EST


I agree with your general statement.  hypocricy is bad.  people who listen to music about the man getting black people down and then go out and cause the same problems that the songs sing about are being hypocrits.

however, go easy on thoes middle class suburban white kids, just because their parents are republicans doesnt mean they have to be.  Ill admit that many wiggers may fit your mold and I personaly am turned off by the white kids driving droped and chopped honda civics blasting gangsta rap. But wouldnt I be just as hypocritical to cast them all in a negative light for their choice of music while listening to Marley, or Coltraine or Muddy Waters  in my own car.

Id at least like to belive that they are not all that bad...  I could be wrong... but Id like to belive it :)
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
[ Parent ]

your point is a good one (2.00 / 4) (#37)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 12:07:01 PM EST

that these young teens are incorporating music from different cultures means they are just as willing and able to incorporate different ideologies

and clearly, there are plenty of rebelling anarchist children of staunch republicans as well (usually just the usual teenage psychology at work... 5-10 years later they are as conservative as their parents, as the issue is not real political ideology for them, just classic teenage homo sapiens' need to detach from the family unit and strike out on their own... some more violently and with more melodrama than others)

however, you cannot deny me the fact that there are wiggers out there- teens and young adults, who fetishize black music AND spout classist ideology, all in one neat hypocritical package

you say i am being unfair

when really you are just qualifying my comments into a more narrow band of people

fine, the value of observations still stand


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

its unfortunate (none / 1) (#38)
by Altus on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 12:17:27 PM EST


that you are corect about some of these people.

it is even more unfortuante that you are correct about kids who rebel becoming conservitives 5-10 years down the road.  I have always wondered why that happens so regularly.  

sure, my political views have shifted to the right since I was in highschool... I can understand the shift that comes from looseing some of the neivete (sp?) which allows younger people to get swept up in more extreeme leftist beliefs.  but I dont understand how so many people can end up going from one extreeme to another in so short a time.

 Ive drifted into a moderate position with belifs on specific issues that stretch a little ways into all of the politica camps (even libertarian on some issues), but It would take a hell of a change to make me a card carrying republican.  I doubt its even possible.

wow... this thread is way off topic...

was there a topic to begin with?

 
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
[ Parent ]

the topic: (2.25 / 4) (#39)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 12:34:28 PM EST

bullshitting at work ;-)

someone smarter than me said it better than myself: "to move from radical lefty to stodgy conservative in 20 years requires you to change not a single one of your beliefs"

;-P


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

but CTS (3.00 / 6) (#41)
by LilDebbie on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:01:29 PM EST

if the black urban poor aren't kept poor, what will they rap about? we're trying to preserve culture here by preserving the environment that spawned it.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... not (1.60 / 5) (#43)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:05:21 PM EST

fuck off lildebbie

xoxoxoxoxoxox

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

hey (none / 2) (#47)
by LilDebbie on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:48:58 PM EST

just because it's in bad taste doesn't mean it isn't funny.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
hey (1.80 / 5) (#48)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:55:41 PM EST

just because it's not funny doesn't mean i can't taste whatever it is i'm licking off the bottom of my shoe right now...

mmm...


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

so, in a nutshell (none / 1) (#75)
by Rupert Pupkin on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:24:51 PM EST

You think that because some white people have and continue to mistreat black people, all white people must shun what black people create?

[ Parent ]
no, mr. hyperbole (none / 2) (#79)
by circletimessquare on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 05:58:11 AM EST

http://www.kuro5hin.org/comments/2004/3/25/23178/9715/37#37

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
nice one (nt) (none / 0) (#143)
by Wah on Wed Mar 31, 2004 at 02:01:57 PM EST


--
K5 troll comment rating guidelines....
The Best Troll Comment Evar, really great stuff, trips up a bunch of people, making them all look foolish. =
[ Parent ]
Huh? (none / 0) (#119)
by MorePower on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 01:29:54 PM EST

the grand hypocrisy of suburban upper middle class white teenage males who coopt urban poor african american culture, while at the same time, proposing and believing in social policies and class politics which keep those african americans poor?

Huh? Since when to the teenagers support the social policies and class politics of their parents? Teenagers listen to "gangsta" music because they also feel oppressed by "the system" (their parents and teachers, etc.) because they lack independance and are constrained by rules imposed on them from above. Thus, they feel a (weak) kinship to the oppressed african americans and can (somewhat) relate to the emotions expressed in the music. Once they grown up and get good high paying jobs (and generally buy into "the system" and stop feeling oppressed) they stop listening to Rap.

Have you ever heard a 30-something white suburbanite listen to Rap? We (I'm a thirthy-something white suburbanite myself) all listened to the "old-school" rap back in the eighties (when we were teenagers), but not any more.

[ Parent ]

Or the Beastie Boys. (none / 1) (#67)
by kitten on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 07:30:10 PM EST


mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
Fetishization of black culture is bad. (none / 1) (#29)
by sllort on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 10:23:17 AM EST

I think we should definitely remove the line about couscous.
--
Warning: On Lawn is a documented liar.
[ Parent ]
you mean arab culture? (nt) (none / 2) (#30)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 10:29:35 AM EST



The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
What? (none / 1) (#40)
by intransigent on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 12:50:51 PM EST

The old "you're hypocritical" argument. It's irony I think that you have determined 1) who is upper middle class and 2) who has the fetish for black culture.

God knows you shouldn't be allowed to experience life without laying down the law first. As we all know, puritanism is the only true path of the righteous. To say one thing and do the other is pure hypocrisy and a damnable offense against eternal righteousness. You're either with us or against us right? Wonder who else thinks like that and also happens to hold the highest office in a very large and powerful nation?

Moreover, how exactly do we defecate on a culture exactly? Don't you mean the populace itself? What should we do differently? Perhaps you can tell us how we are supposed to live.



[ Parent ]
another "h" word for you (1.16 / 6) (#42)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:04:00 PM EST

"hyperbole"

or

"hysteria"

or how about

"histrionics"

dude, lay off the fucking roid rage, okay?

just follow the bouncing thread, open the comments under each in kind for a more civil discourse you would do to emulate in your life:

http://www.kuro5hin.org/comments/2004/3/25/23178/9715/22#22

ending in:

http://www.kuro5hin.org/comments/2004/3/25/23178/9715/37#37

that these young teens are incorporating music from different cultures means they are just as willing and able to incorporate different ideologies
and clearly, there are plenty of rebelling anarchist children of staunch republicans as well (usually just the usual teenage psychology at work... 5-10 years later they are as conservative as their parents, as the issue is not real political ideology for them, just classic teenage homo sapiens' need to detach from the family unit and strike out on their own... some more violently and with more melodrama than others)

however, you cannot deny me the fact that there are wiggers out there- teens and young adults, who fetishize black music AND spout classist ideology, all in one neat hypocritical package

you say i am being unfair

when really you are just qualifying my comments into a more narrow band of people

fine, but the value of my observations still stand

see that? room for argument, consensus, civil discourse

isn't that amazing?

ok, now run along now little boy, decide if you want to be a troll when you grow up, full of the roid rage you so avidly embrace, or do you want to have a level-headed exchange?

i have faith in you that you'll find the right path, stupid dork (snicker)


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

Wow (2.00 / 4) (#44)
by intransigent on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:14:53 PM EST

That was good. You are great at projection and incitement. Intermixing truth (hyperbole, yes a bad habit) and personal point of view (roid rage?)

The plain truth is that you are obviously a bitter, pitiful elitist with no sense of civility or what it take to conduct discourse on any level. I am truly sorry if I upset you; I certainly don't need the ire of sociopathic young people to add to my list of woes.



[ Parent ]
heehee ;-) (1.16 / 6) (#45)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 01:32:51 PM EST

"you are obviously a bitter, pitiful elitist"

methinks the lady doth protest too much (shakespeare?)

take a look in the mirror before you accuse someone of that refrain again, my dear noob

it's hard to look down your nose at someone in elitist disgust for the crime of looking down their nose at someone in elitist disgust! LOL ;-P

smooches hypocritical fucktwit ;-)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

Black Culture? (none / 0) (#54)
by cronian on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 03:59:12 PM EST

The upper middle class isn't the same as the black culture version. The styles are actually a bit different. The stupid ones are those who believe otherwise.

We perfect it; Congress kills it; They make it; We Import it; It must be anti-Americanism
[ Parent ]
ooooh (1.50 / 4) (#64)
by circletimessquare on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 06:38:25 PM EST

who you accusing of being a sell out fool!

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
Relax (none / 1) (#98)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 05:56:32 PM EST

It's a good rap.  You don't have to fetishize black culture to appreciate that.  Also, I for one have never lived in the suburbs or have ever been upper middle class.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
thanks joe (none / 0) (#102)
by circletimessquare on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 09:04:42 PM EST

methinks the lady doth protest too much though ;-P

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
check (2.42 / 7) (#16)
by schlouse on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 05:29:03 AM EST

Niggas' rhymes is busted like he busted that hymen
Gimpin an' k5in, tellin bitches ta sign-in
Yo this aint the place to be sinnin with Karesyn
If ya fuck up ya got my balls on your chin-in-in


u wanna step to me? (3.00 / 4) (#33)
by Nigga on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:25:04 AM EST

Yo, yo, my rhymes may be busted but not like a hymen
More like your ass cherry after a long time in
jail with no bail.  you frail. the louse schlouse
why don't you tell these other cats how you like to fuck cows?
and how's about some spec for cat layin it down in da Q?
Stead of trying to battle his ass, u should do act 2

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Woo Yay Hoopla! [nt] (1.00 / 3) (#18)
by werner on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 05:52:30 AM EST



No, you are wrong (none / 2) (#19)
by Big Dogs Cock on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 06:15:26 AM EST


People say that anal sex is unhealthy. Well it cured my hiccups.
[ Parent ]
might be [nt] (none / 0) (#62)
by werner on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 05:40:24 PM EST



[ Parent ]
hey! (none / 0) (#51)
by conthefol on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 03:17:43 PM EST

You're not allowed to say that without an accompaning wooyay animation!

--
kuro5hin is about to E.X.P.L.O.D.E!!!
[ Parent ]

they don't allow <img> here (none / 0) (#61)
by werner on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 05:39:38 PM EST

So just for you: Woo Yay!

[ Parent ]
I guess all we "voted fors" . . . (2.60 / 10) (#21)
by acceleriter on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 08:07:46 AM EST

. . . can expect to not be able to sponsor come the new regime?

Ah, "rap" (2.23 / 13) (#25)
by flo on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:26:06 AM EST

The only word in the English language that features a silent "c". Still, I found that rather amusing.
---------
"Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Scissors, science, scent, etc. (nt) (2.82 / 17) (#27)
by Michael Moore on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:34:14 AM EST



--
"My life was more improved by a single use of [ecstasy] than someone's life is made worse by becoming a heroin addict." -- aphrael
[ Parent ]
ruining the joke, etc (nt) (2.75 / 4) (#56)
by coderlemming on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 04:29:20 PM EST




--
Go be impersonally used as an organic semen collector!  (porkchop_d_clown)
[ Parent ]
What joke? [nt] (3.00 / 4) (#57)
by James A C Joyce on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 04:32:22 PM EST


I bought this account on eBay
[ Parent ]

your mom (nt) (2.75 / 8) (#63)
by coderlemming on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 05:43:19 PM EST




--
Go be impersonally used as an organic semen collector!  (porkchop_d_clown)
[ Parent ]
Silent like the "p" in water [nt, baby] (none / 0) (#152)
by Shimmer on Wed Apr 07, 2004 at 01:17:31 AM EST



Wizard needs food badly.
[ Parent ]
Record it! (none / 1) (#58)
by stuaart on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 04:39:27 PM EST

Although only Anti-Pop Consortium would sound good doing this.

Linkwhore: [Hidden stories.] Baldrtainment: Corporate concubines and Baldrson: An Introspective


Wow. Nice. (2.66 / 3) (#59)
by Russell Dovey on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 04:41:19 PM EST

You should put this out on some kind of K5 Radio thing. Like Geeks In Space, except for k5.

Anyway, mp3 good.

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light." - Spike Milligan

What? No MP3 version? (2.14 / 7) (#65)
by dasunt on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 07:20:43 PM EST

A Proud American gave us MP3s!

As a k5 user, I demand more!

More!

MORE!

* waiting for the recorded version *



yeah, with an ascii theatre album cover ;) [mt] (3.00 / 4) (#77)
by kpaul on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 01:39:28 AM EST


2014 Halloween Costumes
[ Parent ]
Bitch please (2.81 / 48) (#66)
by kitten on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 07:28:01 PM EST

What the fuck's this trash I'm hearin'?
You know good and well it's my rhymes you're fearin'.
Your rapping is weak, trite and passe
Just mindless cheap shot after tired cliche
Like callin' me a pussy: Hell, you are what you eat.
It's a skill I got like dropping rhymes on a beat.
And I'm better at both than you'll ever be
That's why you remain just a third-rate MC.

So listen up, Nigga, cause I've said it before
Your skills are pathetic and your rhymes are a bore.
You hold grudges that are longer than than your ass dildo
Else why would you still whine about shit from eight months ago?
Why so obsessed?  Got nothin' better to do?
I'm guessing you don't, so let me give you a clue
It's time to give up and just let this shit go.
Your vocab is weak and your rhymes malapropos.
And each time you come here with another attack
The only thing you prove is that your rhymescheme is whack.

You got all the rap skill of my elderly neighbor
At least she makes good cookies, which have more flavor
Than you'll ever have.  It's sad you keep trying.
Because everyone knows what you keep denying:
You ain't got the flow and we're all sick of your shit.
You rhyme like Al Gore, so why don't you admit
That you'll never be boss and you'll always be white
While I'm so fly I'm like the two brothers Wright
Or better yet I'm like a jet flying past the speed of sound
And you're still in your Pinto stalling out on the ground.
You need radar to see me, I'm so far above you.
Tell me, how does it feel to be outrhymed by a Jew?

So please, get a life and get out of my face.
I'm tired of having to put you back in your place.
Take my advice, Nigga: Drop the charade.
You keep actin' like you're on some rap crusade
But go against me and I'll put you to shame
Cause I got the claim to the fame in this game
And you ain't got nothin' but your weak-ass prose.
You're a talentless hack and believe me, it shows.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.

U DELERIOUS? PLZ U CANT B SERIOUS! (2.62 / 16) (#74)
by Nigga on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:11:51 PM EST

Kitten, how much does your ass SEAR?
From the pain of being fuckin in the REAR?
Like a QUEER when you see a reply from Nigga apPEAR!!?!!?!!??
You flow like an irish man on his fifth BEER!
No dimmer limmericks have i seen from pricks!
You suck more dicks than minister Zimmer licks!
Your far fetched rants don't stand a chance
against the truths that i've already advanced!

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Dont' make me laugh. (2.83 / 18) (#89)
by kitten on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 02:52:03 PM EST

You're kidding me, right?  You call that a rhyme?
Please get a life - you're wasting my time.
Rhythm escapes you and your meter is gone
But I got the skills that make all the ladies fawn.
It's clear that you're jealous and it shows in your style
You've missed the rhyme train by a clean country mile.

If you think you're so fly, take your shit to the street
But with that kind prose, you'll get kicked to the 'crete.
I'm the only one with the moves that are slick
While you keep abusing the word "limerick"
Which you can't even spell.  Your teachers must weep.
I've flowed better than that while still half-asleep.

It's got me irate.  I'll elaborate.
So listen to me while I educate.
A limerick is a poem defined by five lines.
If you're still confused, look for these signs:
The first two lines rhyme and so does the last
But the third and fourth will always contrast.
They'll rhyme with each other but not with the first
So now with ignorance you're no longer cursed.
You can thank me later, I've done you a favor
By teaching you better.  But you still got no flavor.
You're still just a freak in the rap sideshow
And I'm the ringmaster cause I got the flow.
I got style and rhythm and a thing called "technique"
While all you got are forced rhymes that are weak.
I don't know why you keep trying.  You're acting a fool.
You're outclassed by miles in this rhyme duel.
It's time you give up and admit your defeat
You'll save yourself time if you call a retreat.
If rhyme skills were vision, you would be blind.
So take my advice and quit while you're behind.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

Naw ok, I see how it is. (2.50 / 12) (#94)
by Nigga on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 04:32:04 PM EST

kitten when will you learn no one can stand ya?
and what's with all these boring long stanzas?
No complex flow, ya know it's a tired spectacle
And you think you can rip me by getting technical?
I took a few liberties with the word limmerick
can't you see this? God i swear you're thick
Not your dick, your skull, but why the extra m then?
I'm afraid I stole it from the end of your slim jim
But don't worry kitten, I gave it back a z
So you're free to see that in your mouth aint beef
but slim jiz, the new diet drink that you need
To take off these cali-rees that I feed
Nope teacher, that's not a mispellin i'm reppin
The west side against your ATL schleppin
So please kitten please stop embarrassing yourself
I've proved in 10 POWER bars I can replenish my health
Wait that's only eight, ok i'll ride this bitch out
Like it was your girlfriend stripped naked on your couch
OUCH? what's the matter? my chatter's left you batterd?
Know I went easy on you, ya ought to be flattered.

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

When will you learn? (2.81 / 11) (#97)
by kitten on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 05:44:11 PM EST

Once again, you've come back for more
Why do you bother?  You know I'm hardcore.
And it's proven by the way you take a page from my book
Your style has changed in rhymescheme and hook.
It's clear that you're trying to emulate me
And we both know it's cause I'm the better MC.
I laud you for trying.  I give you full marks.
But up against me you're like a guppie fighting sharks.
I'm so far ahead of you I've lapped you three times.
I've got more skill in both rhythm and rhymes.
Face it, Nigga, you're out of your league
I've wasted you faster than a German Blitzkrieg.

And still you come back, trying to instigate
You leave me no choice but to castigate.
I've told you before, but I'll say it again:
I'm K to the I double T E N
And when you come here and try to jump my style
You could at least try to make it worth my while.
Because as it stands now, you're just a sad joke
You clearly haven't listened to a word that I've spoke.

If you did, you'd realize you ain't got a prayer.
I'm almost ashamed because it's really unfair
That I trounce you with ease since your skills are so flaccid
You get all worked up, while I'm calm, cool, and placid.
Go away now, Nigga, it's best that you learn
That rhyme skill is something that you'll never earn.
I'm ahead now by several orders of magnitude
And your rapping is feeble, base and crude.
If that's the best that you've got, you may as well leave
Because all you're proving is that you're naive
For thinking that you've got what it takes
Reading your drivel just gives me headaches
As I try to decipher your gibberish
I got more rhymes than the sea's got fish.

And even worse are your excuses - "a few liberties"? Please.
The fact is, you needed my expertise
To tell you the facts that you didn't know
So don't blame me because you're too fucking slow
To figure out what I'm telling you now:
Grow up, move on, and just disavow
That you ever attempted to beat me at this.
My rhymes are the one thing no one can resist
But you try to play it off like you're the top kick
While you trot out the same lame lines about my dick
It's cliched and cheap.  Why not try something new?
Once again you've been outrhymed by a Jew.
That's gotta sting, but I'm just the messenger
If you had any brains, you'd give up and defer
This battle to me, cause you've been put to shame.
And each time you come back you just get more lame.
So I'm asking again, and this time consider
Because I'm tired of having to be your babysitter
It's time you move on and concede this contest
You're boring us all and no one's impressed.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

Isit me or does any body else hear a broken record (2.76 / 13) (#100)
by Nigga on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 08:08:11 PM EST

Your blunders remind me of a vast empty tundra
One Nigga line is more rich than all your thunda
Need Advil? you're hurtin under my double entendres
My metaphores give you headaches? I must wonder..
If that's why you just can't understand, see
It's futile to withstand me when I reprimand thee
If my lines were a frog in your science class
Your scalpel would bounce back and slice your own ass
Oh, I'm sorry, I might be getting too abstract
It's my lines you can't disect, how clear is that?
You can't see or hear me, It's no wonder you fear me
Blind, deaf, and apparently dumb too. Don't jeer me.
Your senses are non existent against my sentences
It's like Mike Tyson against Hellen keller's defences
You're so meek and frail, i'll write it out in braille
:. :':.'': get it now? Go feel it with your kitten tail
And hey, the truth is, I didn't want to do this
but you still spew this shit about you're jewish
You remind me of Einstien, not Ablert, the other
I turned around and found a toasted bagel brother
Ever since the cradle you spin on dicks like a dreidel
So please come and sip this alphabet soup with a ladel:
You're a boring cat, don't ever forget.
Go home ignorant jaded kitten; lament.
I'll stop at L, to give you chance at M to Z
I'll even drop out X for you, to make it easy
If you can't match this challenge then I implore ya
To give up, go home, and recognize the true warrior
Walk away, realize your rhymes are behind not before ya
You're far too predictable, watch i'll do it for ya:

[Kitten]
Hey hey, it's kitten and i'm here to say
I can whip Nigga's lame ass all day
Nigga, you're dead
I'm the best instead
So leave me alone, and go the hell away

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

I gotta give it to ya man (2.81 / 11) (#101)
by Tex Bigballs on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 08:30:28 PM EST

nice work. Never thought I'd be entertained by an online rap battle.

Also props to kitten for some decent creativity, but localrogers shit as usual was whack (someone needs to tell him that william shakespeare was not a rapper)

[ Parent ]

Yo Tex (3.00 / 10) (#103)
by localroger on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 09:28:30 PM EST

I never claimed to have a dog in this fight
My poetry skills at their best are just slight
You flatter me truly by name-dropping Bill
The Bard of Avon, against him I am nil
As I posted before my rhythm is inspired
By a Doctor named Seuss whose rhymes never get tired.
Nigga posted this story constructed in verse
Which was funny as hell and so laudably terse
As I read it and realized that I should reply
I realized to do so that I had to try
To answer the challenge implied in my mind
And frame my reply in approximate kind.
To do so in no way implies I have skill
At rhyming like Eminem or like Bard Bill
But if you're replying when rhyme is in use
At least I tried -- what's your excuse?

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
yo yo yo (2.54 / 11) (#106)
by Tex Bigballs on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 10:17:03 PM EST

check it

Howsa nigga like you gotta step to da mack
keep writin about spaceships yo that shit is whack
and once i attack yo jaw gets cracked
pickin up your wooden teeth with the old shopvac

localroger you're a busta and i despise you
no need to analyze you coz you can't do what i do
which is post a troll make you look like a fool
then you whine to rusty when i take you to school

so you write fiction? suck my dick then.
when it comes to rap you ain't shit when
tex steps up and sends you to the grave
get your old ass cryin like i was robotslave


[ Parent ]

The Lack of Class Falls Mainly From The Crass (3.00 / 10) (#111)
by localroger on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 07:19:12 AM EST

Yo check it out, Nigga has ten times the class
Of a wannabe cowboy who brags on his brass
To Asimov I have sometimes been compared
You ought to check out an opinion he aired
Your violent imagery comes as no surprise
But that's not the way of the man who is wise
Though violent energy sometimes must be spent
It's still the last refuge of the incompetent.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
hahaah (2.55 / 9) (#113)
by Tex Bigballs on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 10:47:26 AM EST

localroger you need to put the mic down
this is a rap battle you got beat first round
you got test by me then best by me
it might just be that dis is too easy

in a rap battle you just out of place
kinda like dem mexican teeth in yo face
if you gonna write prose quit wasting my time then
because rap is about timin as much about rhymin

man it's sad to see old white dude try to be emcee
when the only black people he eva seen is on tv
so shut the fuck up or come back with some clues
here's a tip. you don't learn bout rap from dr. seuss

[ Parent ]

Late to the Party (3.00 / 8) (#114)
by localroger on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 11:39:33 AM EST

This isn't a stage and it's no music show
Even Nigga complains that it upsets his flow
It's only a battle if you choose to fight
Like Nigga vs. Kitten -- and that's quite a sight.
But I've said from the start that my rhymes aren't Jet
Just the best I can do to keep the mood Nigga set
He posted in rhyme as did several replies
But you came back in prose, hoss. You're out of your size.
You're late to the game, you were out the first time
You left a reply here that didn't even rhyme.
Your 1337 rap 5ki112 serve you to no good avail
When you don't bother using them ('fraid that you'd fail?)
Now you jump in all insulting and crass
But it's too late, you blew it, you're being an ass
The Confusingly Titled Meta set the stage
And the K5 we had then stayed right on the page
Over three hundred posts kept a laser-like beam
On the funniest Meta joke K5 had seen.
There's a few of us who still remember the way
To keep a joke running when it makes our day
And if a few losers can't stay in the game
Well that's why we say K5 isn't the same.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
Jesus (2.28 / 7) (#115)
by Tex Bigballs on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 12:20:38 PM EST

hey rog what's wrong. I ain't polite
that's right you done picked a fight
and up against my might you way too uptight
but that's what happens when u old and white

rhymin one syllable in rap is terrible
but when i flow it's like a parable
where another chump got done schooled by tex
emotions he wrecks and checks he collects

so localroger you need to stop playin
shut the fuck up and this lesson may end
save some pride and know when to stop when
you got some bigballs bouncin off yo chin

[ Parent ]

On Picking a Fight (3.00 / 9) (#117)
by localroger on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 01:06:24 PM EST

With your willful ignorance of the situation
You should be working for the Bush administration
I've said four times I don't do rap
I'm rhyming so as not to be the sap
Who ruins the joke
(Like you did old bloke)
By leaving a post in lame unrhyming prose.
And I'm not the one who insultingly chose
To single you out in a post of no relation
And dis to the world your inferior creation.
You know I'm just an old fogey white guy
'Cause that's what I've told you, and I don't have to lie
I don't sit in my office pretending I'm fly
To a bunch of strangers who laugh till they cry.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
Hoooo yeah! (none / 0) (#153)
by bakuretsu on Thu Apr 22, 2004 at 01:12:44 AM EST

localroger's my man, to him I'm devoted
And though my skills could stand to be promoted
Still I must say to all who're inclined
To listen to me, to put up with my rhyme
localroger's the front runner in this ASCII fight
His rhyme's not perfect but it's quite alright
For someone who doesn't exclaim to the masses
That he's got the skills to crush your poor asses

-- Airborne
    aka Bakuretsu
    The Bailiwick -- DESIGNHUB 2004
[ Parent ]
I declare you teh winner (none / 1) (#136)
by JayGarner on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 11:03:48 PM EST

The Asimov thing, 'last refuge', nicely done chap.

[ Parent ]
Time to take you to school. (3.00 / 10) (#105)
by kitten on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 09:40:18 PM EST

Another pathetic attempt, I must say.
Each time you come back your skill further decays
Like zombie flesh left out in the sun
Come on, give it up - I'm still number one
And you're lagging behind, five miles or more
When I go against you, it's easy to score
Cause your rhyming is weak and your flow nonexistant
And my ownage of you seems a recurring event.

Look what you've sunk to: An alphabet trial?
What is this, pre-school?  You're just in denial.
And worse still is your brain-dead attempt at the end
To put words in my mouth, quoting things never said.
If you can't hold your own, Nigga, I suggest you go home
But cheat like a wimp and I'll drop a nine in your dome.
It's time you face facts: You're still just a twit
Whose lyrical prose ain't the least bit legit
With forced analogies and whack rhymes galore
You abuse good taste with your bad metaphor
Another word you can't spell, which makes it laugh-worthy
You get points for trying, but you're a crap adversary.

You've had your chance, Nigga, now pack it on in
That sound you hear is a small violin
It plays just for you and your aborted rhyme skill
I'm giving you the chance to quit by free will
Cause if you keep coming back with your feeble attack
I'll keep humilating you as I pick up your slack.
On the mic I'm the one that can rock to the beat
Which is why I'm part of the sure-shot elite
While you're just an amateur, on your very best day
I got the mind to bust rhymes in a wide array.
If rhymes were emotion, you'd be Mr Spock
Just another wannabe in the washed-up rap flock.

You think that I'm bad, but I ain't started yet.
Do battle with me and you're gonna regret
Cause I'm the man on the mic with the right attitude
And if rhyme skills were snacks you'd have dehydrated food
Like the astronauts eat, but I ain't talking about tang
Which is something you want but won't ever bang
Cause your style is weak and your skills atrophied
You just don't have what it takes to succeed.
In rhyme evolution, you're a Neanderthal
I'm rocking full throttle while you're still at a crawl.
So in conclusion, it's time that you understand
That I'm in command and my skills in demand.
In rhyme theory I'm the commander-in-chief
But if rhyming were painting, you'd be Georgia O'Keefe
Who was a one-trick pony, the same as you
You're like Johnny One-Note playing the kazoo
With the same old tactics and predictable flows
Broken vocab and incompetent prose
It's a fact that you just need to learn to accept:
I'm the true master and you're just inept.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

If i didn't squash this beef already, here it is: (2.66 / 9) (#108)
by Nigga on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 12:42:14 AM EST

No way.. you just didin't... but certainly and surely
I see a reply to my last bit of jewelry
That's ok, i'll be patient, I'm in no hurry
But out of respect I expect you to serve me a McFlurry
The next time i'm out in your neck of the nursery
No need to worry, soon we'll see a ferrel kitten scurry
In fury, once the verdict arrives from the jury
I've dropped so much flavor on the beef it's now curry

The way this pussy stinks, he must have a yeast infection
He can't flow longer than a bar with the same inflection
The way your jeans bulge, no need to hide your erection
I know my words in your ear are like a viagra injection
Your flow's so tired, you ought to take it in a new direction
If you don't soon, we'll be shouting "-1, resection!"
To the trashbin you hasbeen, you're not fooling anyone
With your quantity over quality and old-schooling chum

Honestly, promise me you really can't see my flow grow
Beyond this shit you do: your dull braggadocio
You're drawn to me like i'm a ring and you're frodo
But next to me you look out of place like a hobo in soho
By the way... that McFlurry oughta be pro bono
You work at McDonalds right? Or wait, is it Togo's?
Steamin now? I know ho, but put your ass in slowmo
Lest you embarass yourself more and lose all mojo

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

You don't know when to quit, do you? (2.85 / 7) (#123)
by kitten on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 02:42:01 PM EST

I thought that I put an end to this test
But you came back for more - you're clearly obsessed.
Do you really crave all this humiliation?
I got rhyme and rhythm in tight integreation
While all you got is your pathetic insults
You keep spitting them out with the same results
You claw and clamor, you stumble and stammer
And I beat you down like a pneumatic hammer.
It's the same every time, I don't know why you can't see
I'm the master of the game - I got the degree
You step up to me and I kick you back under
Cause it's easy for me to make your rhymes go asunder.

I've got you beat in finesse and in form
You're like a lone tree and I'm an electrical storm
You can tell I'm coming by checking your barometer
And when you try to knock me, I'll clean your chronometer.
But now I must confess that I've made an error
I got so caught up in my lyrical terror
That I claimed you were, in rhyming, a Neanderthal.
That outrageous statement I would now like to withdraw
Because it's clear to me now you're more like an ameoba
If my lyrics are terror, you're Enduring Freedom
Just a pathetic joke trotted out to the masses
Cause your flow is so slow it's like November molasses.
Your flavor's atrocious and your spelling's even worse
But I got the grooves rolling over every verse.
And that's what seperates you from me
I'm high-rolling on rhyming and you're bourgeoisie.

Now my style is tight and my rhythm's on time
And you're so bad at this you may as well be a mime.
So I'll say it again though I've said it before:
I'll burn you like napalm from the Vietnam war.
Stepping to me may be your last mistake
You rhyme like a Mormom from the Great Salt Lake
And you're embarassing yourself - it's time you admit
That the simple fact is you can't rhyme for shit.
I'm cruising in style on the rap freeway
And charming all the ladies at every soiree
I got the fresh new rhymes that you wish you had
And no matter how many times you count the hanging chad
The vote comes back with every iteration:
"Nigga's rhymescheme is a gross abomination!"
Listen to the people - they tell it like it is
You'll never get a passing grade on this rap quiz
Cause you ain't got the skill - don't even get me started
I rhymed better than you the last time that I farted.
So please, give it up.  You're wasting my time.
Go back to writing lame nursery rhymes
Which is about all you can do.  You're trite and formulaic.
I got the superior deoxyribonucleic.
When you do battle with me, you're gonna get trounced.
Run along, Nigga.  The truth's been announced.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

y u gotta step incorrect? (2.25 / 8) (#124)
by Nigga on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 03:03:07 PM EST

Kitten, you're trippin if you thought i might go soft
I'm monopolising this battle like my name was Microsoft
while you're enterprisin's like sellin crack from a backpack
And I'm tired of your school analogies, are you Jack Black?
I'll admit you rocked the school, but not with your poor rhyme
It's more like how Britney did it in "...baby one more time"
Dancin and prancin around like a girly pop rehearsel
This braggy playa is like Aguilera in a coke commercial
No bluff, i'll fuck you like you were the muff of Hillary Duff
I'm tough, and next to me you're just ancillary stuff
So kitten, listen, i'm pickin - you up by your scruff
To show you the litter box because I've had enough
of you piddling and shitting crap on the stage floor
And mopping your excrement up is not what I came for
Your repition's a bane chore, like always fuckin the same whore
I'm like the USA and you're like Iraq when we wage war
Only you have no oil to charge for your repeated defeat
Remind me again why I'm even in this beef, just retreat-
-already. Fuck, it's round 5, your stamina's remarkable
I TKO'd your ass first round but you keep barkin bull
So remind me again of the nerdy analogies you're rapping
How I'm a stalled car and you're in a racecar lapping
But here's how your story ends, I know it's unnerving
I slashed your tire, and to the curb you went swerving
And I watch you run out on foot through my cracked window
That's cool, i'm in no rush.. just blazing endo in my pinto
You'll never survive unless you back off when it hurts
Visual aids are courtesy of the Google image search

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Ghetto 5s to the entire thread. (none / 2) (#127)
by Soviet Russian on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 11:23:56 PM EST

The current Ratings Scale BLOWS.

Cheers.

[ Parent ]

It's your own funeral (3.00 / 6) (#129)
by kitten on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 12:58:41 AM EST

Once again, I'm back in the ring
You haven't figured out yet that I'm the king.
When I rhyme I got the rhythm and I got the smooth flows
You're nothing but a posuer: A sheep in wolf's clothes.
And you're out of your league - there, now I've said it twice
I don't know how I can be more concise
Than I've already been.  You're a sad little newb
You're so undeveloped you're in the fallopian tube.
But as for me, I'm still keeping it raw
Cold-chilling like a glass of Stella Artois.
And you'll notice I don't resort to cheap techniques
Like pointless image links to disguise rhymes that are weak.
It's a lame-ass tactic.  Have you no shame?
My rhymes are receiving critical acclaim
But all you got is that cloak-and-dagger stunt
Busting out the distractions when you can't confront
It's a transparent ploy used by the mediocre.
While my rhymes flow like blood in a book from Brahm Stoker.

Now you're up in my face claiming technical knockout
When the truth is you're withering like crops in a drought
From the moment we started, you barely passed muster
I'm rocking out like the Saturn V thruster
Blasting off into orbit through the lyric stratosphere
But you barely got the rhyme skill of a Disney Mousketeer.
When I flow I flow it smooth like a needle in a groove
I know that I'm tight and got nothin' to prove
But your rhythm still sucks and your meter is whacked.
You step up to me, punk, you're gonna get smacked
Everyone knows it - now you know it too
It's time to conclude, so let us review:
You're a predictable hack and you'll never defeat me.
Cause I got what you don't - it's called creativity
Fresh like a twelve inch sub from Subway
I got rhymes arranged in a floral bouquet
But your crap is stale like a month-old cheese wheel
I cut through your prose like Damascus steel.
You don't stand a chance, so why don't you come clean?
I'm the number one top-kicking MC on the scene
So you might as well pack up your shit now and leave
Beating me is a pipe dream you'll never acheive.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

I need to stop rubbernecking this truly a sad site (2.20 / 5) (#131)
by Nigga on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 11:09:20 AM EST

Honestly, I'm surprised you made it ah this far
But just like your foreskin at your bahmitzfah
The beef has permanantly been removed from you
By a sugreon of rhyme wordin sent to skin you
Can it all, I'm firing you like my verbal canon ball
You're as sick as a care bear next to this cannibal
I ate you already, and to all - this news is hardly new
Because they were all invited and attended the bar-b-que
You think you can spit, but the only spit you get
Is the one on which you sit over there in the fire pit
Lunch ended, and your meat made everyone nauseous
But that's my bad; I made you soil your oshkoshes
But I did my best to cure this mad kitten disease
By flowin like a breeze over da beatz wit stupid ease
And that's just the miracle ya get from my lyrical wit
If you understand nothing else know Nigga wont quit
You spread like cancer and I distribute like medicine
You're a disruption on Kuro5hin, while my thread is zen
And your talent here is really gettin spreaded thin
While my shit comes out concentrated like my melanin
"I'll say it again like I fuckin said it before"
No Kitten, please don't, can't you see it's a bore?
I know you couldn't even complete my simple challenge
So Nigga pickin up your slack is how it now ends:
It's mediocrety nigga opposes please quit
Reaping stale, tired, useless, vain wit
You're zilch, nada, no longer fun
So fuck it, it's over, that's it..  I'm done.

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Kick that shit back in. (3.00 / 5) (#133)
by kitten on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 02:17:06 PM EST

Shit, you say you got mad rhymes, so where are they hid?
I've heard better disses from that clown partykidd.
So while you're rhyming "you" and "you"
I've cooked you like chicken cordon bleu
In my hot rhyme oven at ten million degrees
But I'm so chill it's like cryrogenic freeze.
I've outdone you here in more ways than one
But in displaying my prowess I've barely begun.
You claim that I'm spreading my rhyme talent thin
But really it's focused with laser precision
Like a red beam out of a sniper's scope
You just can't cope cause my rhymes are so dope.
You know you're just another notch on my belt
Smacking sucker MCs with the lyrics I've dealt.

You can't handle the aroma of my rap potpouri
Think you're fly?  Well, form a line behind me.
Just take a number and wait your damn turn
Cause anyone steps to me'll get burned.
Cause I'm MC kitten and I got the rhythm wild
In a little black book with rhymes I've compiled
And punks like you try to steal the show
But when I drop the flow I'm like a plow through the snow.

So tell me, Nigga, what are you trying to prove?
You've made a fool of yourself since your opening move
When you dropped your rhythmless funk on the mic
I owned you so hard I ruled the Rhyming Reich
Rolling over your prose like a Panzerdivision
Cutting through your lyrics with a surgeon's precision
So you changed up your style around round deuce
Offering pathetic evasion after sorry excuse
Which is about all you are in this competition.
The crowd is cheering that with kitten they're smitten
And still you come back with more weak-ass explanations
Trying to plea out with your extenuations
But in this court, I'm the only magistrate
And instead of shutting up, you just incriminate.
So you've waived your rights, and it's come back to hurt
My lyrics are sweet like Key Lime sherbert
To describe my flow you'd need fluid mechanics
To comprehend the magnitude of my rhyming dynamics
But you never will, cause you've got zero taste.
In this competition you haven't even placed
So get out of my face and go back to your lair.
You've gone against me but you just can't compare.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

Sorry, not official, but i just couldn't resist: (2.25 / 4) (#137)
by Nigga on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 11:39:55 PM EST

Let me take a break from this cooked cattle (the beef)
To rehash what happened in this battle (real brief)
I dropped in da Q a dope summary of some shit          
That was voted up so high, it looked like a summit
Soon everwhere I looked peops were givin me bigga props
Sayin "PLUS ONE FRONT PAGE!", "YOU ROCK!", and "NIGGA'S TOPS!"
But just one problem: it mentioned Kitten in passing
So before I knew it he came out ghetto blasting
Some of the weakest rhymes I heard since kriss-kross
And this is how he became endangered like Albatross
Cause he never expected ticklin his keyboard's keys
that Nigga wont take shit like some sucka emcees
"My shit's Special," came the thoughts from his round dim dome
Yeah, "special" was right: it was lyrical down syndrome      
So I took a few moments and real quickly I scratched
Some straight disguzting raps he still hasn't matched    
So we all watched him try harder, and harder still
But he just doesn't get that his MCing skill
Is as present as a 6th grade class on christmas eve
So I ripped him a new one and he still wouldn't leave
So I pulled out some dope shit hidden in my sleeve
To show the world how kitten's completely naive
To not just recognize, depart, go home, and grieve
But he came back with some more shit, I could hardly believe
It was lumpy, unrefined; in dire need of a sieve
Did I make you misponounce that? Hey I'm just creative
Like how i used Google as an enlarger to develop
Those images that assisted my unneeded follow-up
Which kitten pretended was a method to distract
Because he well knew none of my lines could be attacked
Next I used narrative to show versatility
Which is what exposed kitten's basic inability
To stop his sloppy and choppy unfocused disaster
And just because I'm a cruel and unrelenting bastard
Here's another rhyming story, varnished and well laquered
For kitten to read, study, envy and worship
So for giggles, kitten, let's see some more shit

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Damn, this is smooth. (none / 3) (#138)
by kitten on Tue Mar 30, 2004 at 01:34:19 AM EST

Like Coleridge's albatross, my rhymes hang round your neck
They shortchange your balance like a bouncing check
To show superiority I refer to high society
You call it arrogance but I say it's propiety
As in the right thing to do, so before I bid you adieu
I'll be coming through with a rap review
Of your meager skills and your lyrical failure
I'm a self-made old-school rhyme entrepreneur
I'm the highest man on the flow totem pole
My rhymes are sweeter than a cinnamon roll
So let me explain - let me elaborate
You've tried to diss me so I'll retaliate.

You call your prose "disguzting", another word you can't spell
Yeah, disgusting is right - to high heaven it smelled
I had to open the window to let out that funk
But I sliced through your shit like a Shaolin monk
You just can't comepte with my kung-fu style
You're falling behind by a nautical mile
But I'm versatile so you'd best reconsider
I'm not the type to sell to the high bidder
Cause I keep it raw and I keep it dee-ell
Brighter than a gem from the diamond cartel
I got the best in lyric methodology
With beats stronger than cardiology
And you're just back to your same old tricks
Distraction techniques when you lose these conflicts
I called you down on that shit yesterday
Bombed your technique like Tim McVeigh
Or like an Allied bomber raining bombs on Berlin
My lyrics are smooth like cold Sapphire gin
In a dirty martini, shaken up with a twist
You're wasting my time, so why do you persist?

If the stage were the Vatican, I'd be the Pope
Taking charge of the place with the verses I've wrote
But not John Paul the cripple - more like Pope Pious
Burning rap heathens at the stake with unholy bias
That's prejeduce just in case you were wondering
Against sucker MCs who try to steal my thundering
By my count, we're at eight - do you want to try for nine?
If I were you, I'd give up and resign
Because it's obvious now by this point you can't win
If rhymes were my balls you'd be taking it on the chin
My prose is complex and my lyrics select
I don't need to bother with a microphone check
I take what I get and run a few rhyme laps
I can go twenty six miles before I collapse
That's a full marathon - I'm a long-distance runner
Flows rolling faster than gattling gunner
So pack it up, go back to your habitation
You've been slated for rhyme termination
The idea that you can beat me is your own little fiction
So from this battle you've just earned an eviction.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

u up on ur vaccinations? this could cause rabies. (none / 3) (#140)
by Nigga on Tue Mar 30, 2004 at 10:10:43 PM EST

You're right, your rhymes are like a bounced check
Frontin value, but void, and not worth respect
And it's not me that's unbalanced by this behavior
But crowd acceptence which tilts grossly in my favor
You achieved high society like that Abagnale man
But I'm like Tom Hanks catching you just cause I can
The only totem pole you're on is the one you smoke
To pay off your high debt to 'Chief Running Joke'
My flavor spans the full spectrum of savoury power
Not that you'd know; what you think sweet is sour
Your wack hacks lack at max - and are at minimum dull
You're a sour lemon in soul not a cinnamon roll

OHHOOOH SHIT! ARE OH EFF ELL EM AYE OH those were ill trashes
Flipped your shit on you and exposed all the catches
I'm matchless next to what the this chicken unhatches
Feel the sting of my lashes, and the burn of my matches

You step up to the N to the I double G A
And you'll get capital punishment just like McVeigh
But the only balmin' you're doin's latherin oil of olay
On your dick, cause it's only with yourself who you play
the mindtrick that you're some brilliant emcee
To everyone else you look like an insolent frenzy

I serve them hard and fast, I'm like Sampras in this place
You brought a ping pong paddle, it's no wonder I ace
And I got no luv for players that volly off the wall
Then turn around and claim they have no folly with the ball
Take what you will from that, i know it's abstract
But it's spelled out for you here, homeboy was pretty exact

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

kitten in full effect (3.00 / 4) (#145)
by kitten on Wed Mar 31, 2004 at 03:17:00 PM EST

Nigga, it's time that I teach you a lesson   
About rhyme meter and rhythm convention
I've called you out on this three times before
But my advice you've continually ignored
What's wrong with you, can't get your shit straight?
Without rhythm you can't win this rhyme debate.
Your lack of it's why you've got no finesse
And past nursery rhymes you've never progressed
So I'll tell you a little something 'bout form and prose
Meter is the keyword in the flows I compose
But it's what you ain't got, so you'd better be cautious
Like an airsickness bag, your verses got me nauseous
In your flow there's no pattern and there ain't no beat
The prose you excrete is incomplete
Cause you ignore rhythm and toss out meter
With lame-ass excuses like a playground cheater
I got more hooks here than Michael Jordan
If rhythm was prison then I'd be the warden
Keeping your ass locked up for meter misbehavior
I kick it old-school, but still I got flavor
Like a cherry pie with Reddi-Whip cream
In the rhythm regime I reign supreme
And at best you're nothing but the court jester
If rhyming were fabric you'd be polyester
Artificial and cheap and mass-produced
I got more rhymes than Motherfucking Goose
If you wanna step to me then you'd best prepare
If the stage were Tiananmen you'd be the Square
As I roll over your prose in a battle tank
Cause my rhymes accrue interest in a rhythm bank
Your funk is more queer than a three-dollar bill
If meter were the Matrix you'd be the blue pill
Staying safe and secure in your little dream world
No match against the Sentinels of rhyme I've unfurled
Mounting an offensive against your last stand
I've told you before but your head's in the sand
Cause you're afraid of the truths that I dispell
When it comes to rhythm I got clientele
And you're on the corner begging for change
I'm wheeling and dealing in the stock exchange
Dropping beats faster than the composite NASDAQ
If you got beef, step up and I'll give you a smack
So please don't come back until your rhythm's on time
This mountain of rhyme that you're trying to climb
But you keep falling down, so here's the conclusion:
While you make lame links, I make literary allusions
While you're ripping off my rhymes about Tim McVeigh
I've cut you up like a fish fillet
While you change your style to imitate me
Proving you're a wannabe MC
So take my advice and drop the mic
I beat you already in a pre-emptive strike
Your rhythm is broken and your meter is jacked
Don't bother coming back till you admit that fact.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
Time to spit it dirty on this punk bitch (none / 0) (#147)
by Nigga on Thu Apr 01, 2004 at 10:55:59 AM EST

Eventhough you're shit's just unmastered dread
I'll go till we match that sad bastard thread
You don't know when to quit with your meter bullshit
I don't need meter when i gotta heater and full clip
That's right, I'm gonna go there  bustin gangsta talk
Because the west side owes much fuckin thanks ta pac
fuck it all i'll, drug it, thug it, mug it, then slug it
Fuckin tired of my "sweep it all under the rug" shit
Because I've been hiding just how dirty i can spit this
Like I don't have a toothbrush and don't know what it is
I live in San Francisco so I know a buncha fags with AIDS
That I'll send to rape you till you need medical aids
By the time they're done you'll look like goatse.cx
You made a mistake steppin to me 'cause i tote techs
I got no love for you and your sissy as crew
trying to hide my shit just cause they knew
If it's left in plain site for all mates to see
There'd be no debate on who's the great MC
So zero this shit wah: your ratings are whack
With a uid that low I'd think you read the faq
Fuckin punk crybaby, go "wah!" to your mother
I'm a westside terminator with Arnold as gov'na
So call me schwartzeNigga when i pull the trigga
And let my gat disfigya this kitten brat wigga
You don't know what psycho you think you're gamin
In drivers ed I beat off when red asphault was playin
I'll put it another way if you don't get what I'm say'n
I'm friendly as charles manson and just as insane
I'd send some bitches to murder your bitch and unborn kid
Then you'll be ass-raping 13 year olds like Polanski did
Come feel all my glory and come bask in my radiance
I don't need your meter lessons, I bring my own cadence

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Step off, punk (none / 0) (#148)
by kitten on Thu Apr 01, 2004 at 03:14:37 PM EST

Straight from Atlanta, a crazy motherfucker named kitten
When I start to rock the mic, you'll be smitten
By me, cause I'm a bad-ass cat
Packing bitches in my Volvo and a clip in my gatt.
You're pathetic, rhyming "AIDS" and "aids"
I'm about to blow up like shrapnel grenades
My DJ cuts fast across the cross fades
Cutting up wax with twin katana blades
Like Leonardo had, the lead ninja turtle
Your rhymes are impotent and your rhythm infertile
So if I was you, I'd back the fuck off
I've heard better rhymes from oinking pigs at a trough

I kick it old school up and down the East Coast
With rhythm affliction I've been diagnosed
I've lost track of all the bitches I screw
But I got more rhymes than your whole damn crew
When the girlies see me they all start to flirt
I tell 'em my rhymes and they pull up their shirt
I got the stacked groupies and I dress so fly
I got rhymes and beats in a fresh supply
So if you check me, punk, you're out of luck
I'll smack you faster than a hockey puck
Fuck with me, and you'll find out it's true
For a solid ass-kicking you're well overdue
I asked around and everybody agreed
You talk a lot of shit but you gotta concede
I'll drop your ass with a sawed-off pump-action
Rhymes come to me like magnetic attraction
In vitamin rhythm you got a deficiency
Here's your new nametag - it says "Whack MC"

I'm from the streets and I kick it hardcore
If you see me coming you'd best lock your door
Cause I got a phased plasma rifle in the forty watt range
Step to me, punk, and your face I'll rearrange
I got a nine millimeter all covered in chrome
I won't think twice before I drop a slug in your dome
My trigger finger itches and my sights are straight
If you value your life you'd best capitulate
Before I send my boys over with some hard-hittin' pipes
To put and end to your life and your whiny-ass gripes
You don't impress me with your idle threats
I'll smoke you faster than my cigarettes
You're a joke but still you remain condescending
You ain't got a chance so here's what I'm recommending:
You'd best sleep with one eye open from this point on
I dare you to cross the line that I've drawn
Cause that would just give me the ideal reason
To declare on your ass open hunting season
My hand rests heavy on my pistol grip
When the time comes I'll empty a whole clip
So get outta here, Nigga, take my advice:
Ten times I've kicked your ass - that should suffice.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]

getting bored, just a free flow... (none / 0) (#149)
by Nigga on Thu Apr 01, 2004 at 07:59:20 PM EST

Yo my last rhyme, I apoligize for it
It was whack but this one will be euphoric
That last rap I did when I was still groggy
I had just awoken and my mind was foggy
But I'm alert now biotch, and had some coffee
But what's this shit about how you'll off me?
Don't make me laugh you pathetic chump
Exaggeratin the number of girls that you hump
We know it's all fake so kitten you're fittin
to have your nerdy ass hauled off to the kitchen
cut up, deep fried, and be forever missin
Count the times you've rhymed kitten with smitten
and you'll realize you're out of fresh shit when
I mention i did it first, fuck i been bitten
which puts my ass in a very precice mood
to beat out your teeth so you stop biting ice cube
Stealin other's work.. well it's not nice dude
By the time i'm done you'll need pre-sliced food

But enough about how you're so unoriginal
I guess that makes me like the surgion general
Repeating shit over again that everyone knows
Just not about smoking but kitten's lame prose
And how it's liable to cause a heart'tack
in whole it's null of soul and in part whack
I've smacked your shit out ten times but u keep shittin
I really ought to hide the metamucile from this kitten

And as for that shit you write in your walled city
It's quite pathetic.. frankly it's called shitty
narcisisstic ramblings that are publicly visible
pretentious bitching that just makes us miserable

I'm basicly done with your ass the proof's in the past
But i'll always respond to more verbal jabs
Just to see you squirm under my lyrical might
And always trying but failing to be as tight

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

A moment on K5 (2.79 / 49) (#70)
by localroger on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 09:51:25 PM EST

'Twas a moment on K5, no different from most
Any user who cared could expect a troll post
To call him a faggot or fascist or perv
From some underage loser with an excess of nerve.

The trolls think it funny and sometimes it is
But mostly it just makes you want for the Wiz
To lay down a little red-ass on the guy
Who crapfloods your story or spreads that vile lie.

But Rusty was not of the red-ass demeanor
Although once in awhile he would get out the cleaner
And wipe up a stain or two left by the kind
Of asshole who posts from his stinking behind.

As dictator of K5 he seemed quite aware
That freedom was special and he didn't dare
To reign in the users no matter how coarse
Lest he be accused of acting with force.

"This isn't like Slashdot, we will not impose
Our vision on visitors. We won't oppose
Any insult or curse word or comical plea
That might be amusing to one unlike me."

So the page wideners widened our diary page
And crapflooders left fifteen or more diaries a day
And sincere users left after insults and jeers
Left them thinking their effort would mean more elsewhere.

But now in this moment that started this poem
The most wicked troll ever to K5 did roam
He didn't attack Rusty, whose skin was too thick
But pictured his wife in a picture too sick.

The Rusty we knew is deader than JFK
The one we have now drew a line in the clay
The trolls and crapflooders he'd let dis his site
Had fucked with his wife and that just wasn't right.

So now if he knows you or you've been referred
And only if you aren't acting like a turd
You're OK to post until you or a friend
You've referred fucks the pooch and then it's the end.

No more posts, no more mods, no more comments or votes
On stories submitted by trollable dolts
You have to act right or you can't act at all
(And for some of us that is an order that's tall).

So what says the Local one who writes of spaceships?
I must admit that in the past I have ripped
Into one or more trolls for their insults and lies
And I've wished a solution would come from the sky.

And now that it's happened I have to admit
That I'm somewhat glad that finally the shit
That has at times made me so angry and mad
Will actually be punished at least by a tad.

It's risky and strange to contemplate this
Because I know some good people will either get pissed
Or just never come by because they don't know Gus
Or somebody else to refer them to us.

But I've said since the first day I came to this place
That the noble experiment had on its face
A flaw that was huge and that doomed it I thought
Whether or not I thought or opined that it ought.

The discipline Rusty imposes may show
Negative consequences we all know.
But the question that looms as I contemplate this
Concerns birds in the hand versus those that you miss.

Something had to be done, of that I've no doubt
And if this isn't it the thing that will bring it about
Rusty can always try something else in its turn
As long as he's willing and trying to learn.

Nobody knows how to build such a site
Attractive to people like us and yet right
For open discussion anonymous and free
But civil and friendly and pleasant to see.

Rusty has to do something, and he could truly fail
And all of our effort here be to no avail
But if you don't risk failing at what you do
You'll never do anything worthwhile and new.

So I tentatively support this new K5 scheme
Inasmuch as the alternative was getting extreme
And I'd like for K5 to be around by and by
But there's no certain way to make sure that will fly.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min

pass me the mic (2.86 / 15) (#81)
by Nigga on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 08:45:06 AM EST

Yo loco local, do ya roger this hiss
From my walky talky? is it christmas?
Your Clement Clark Moore flow I wont diss
But here's a visit from st. Niggalas:

Know me son, when i'm up on the podium
Miracle flavour enhancement like mono-sodium
Gluitmate, i never hesitate or meditate
Just rip it freestyle for the heads that wait
To see me kill it twice on this post forum
Like a took a chansaw to someone post mortem
So call me the mortician when i grab your attention
With them bitchin rhythms and rhymes i mention
So lighta bong for this, it's the hardcore encore
shit's discuss-ting like i fucked the wrong whore

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Yo Nigga (3.00 / 21) (#85)
by localroger on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 01:01:06 PM EST

Our rhymes they are different
And that is no lie
I'm just a suburban
White-bread kind of guy
I don't know your artists
They're strangers to me
The stuff that they rhyme on
I rarely can see
But we get inspiration
Wherever we must
Sometimes it's like magic
And sometimes we bust.
I've no ear for music
So what is the use?
You've got Eminem,
I'll take Dr. Seuss.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
Peace localroger (2.87 / 16) (#87)
by Nigga on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 02:28:06 PM EST

Use Dr. Sues as a muse? no problem, I wont snooze
But for 9 contiguous bars I rocked the sound "oose"
So insted I'll rhyme the "impossible" - to win a grin
A task inspired by the artist Eminem
Everyone knows nothing rhymes with orange
But Em fucked that one up with "door hinge"
So let me ask you this, what rhymes with "localroger?"
If you're british call me a bloke or sod, sure
but since i can't take smog just call me "so-cal dodger"

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

Oh, for fuck's sake. (2.43 / 16) (#83)
by James A C Joyce on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 11:13:06 AM EST

The picture isn't "sick" by any means. A picture of a white woman sitting on a black man's erect penis is not inherently "sick", and is not made "sick" merely by cutting and pasting a scaled-down and rotated picture of Rusty's wife's face onto it.

I bought this account on eBay
[ Parent ]

To reply... (2.69 / 13) (#84)
by localroger on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 11:17:23 AM EST

As opinions will go
Yours isn't unreasonable
But at this time on K5
It's most surely unseasonable.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
I hate it when you post reasonable things (none / 1) (#118)
by wurp on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 01:21:32 PM EST

and I'm forced to mod you up.  Troll.
---
Buy my stuff
[ Parent ]
jeeze, haven't you figured out relativity yet? (none / 1) (#135)
by Wah on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 10:52:02 PM EST

The picture isn't "sick" by any means. A picture of a white woman sitting on a black man's erect penis is not inherently "sick", and is not made "sick" merely by cutting and pasting a scaled-down and rotated picture of my wife's face onto it.

Sounds 'sick' to me.  Doing that kind of stuff for fun?

Yup.  

Sick.
--
sometimes things just are that way and that's it. They're true. Sure, Popper, et. al., may argue otherwise, but they're dead. You get it? Yet?
[ Parent ]

A bit unmetrical, (2.80 / 5) (#88)
by ninja rmg on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 02:40:16 PM EST

Don't you think?



[ Parent ]
Metering (3.00 / 15) (#90)
by localroger on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 03:20:31 PM EST

I took a few liberties
It's clearly a fact
With accents on syll-AH-bles
And rhymes inexact
It's an ancient tradition
That's often been used
To force size ten words
Into size four metered shoes.
It's true the best poets
Eschew this device
But I've got no illusions
About my fair price
You get what you pay for
In every venue
And if my meter's whack
Once again this is true.

What will people of the future think of us? Will they say, as Roger Williams said of some of the Massachusetts Indians, that we were wolves with the min
[ Parent ]
Applause (none / 1) (#104)
by bugmaster on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 09:38:42 PM EST

One question: why is this not in the story queue ? I'd +1 FP it before you could say "Bringer".
>|<*:=
[ Parent ]
ahh ... bravo ! (none / 0) (#122)
by mami on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 02:38:52 PM EST



[ Parent ]
How you gonna rip it like that son (2.71 / 7) (#76)
by JayGarner on Fri Mar 26, 2004 at 11:38:17 PM EST

Rhymes be flowin like the heavy menstruation
Like everything else here, it's empty sensation
I'm so-and-so, I'm this, I'm that
But y'all just wick-wick-wack!

Tonight on the white-n-blue site, y'all pretend yer brown
Not from Grosse Pointe, or Manhattan, but from the Boogie Down
You fool nobody, you look like a clown, and how you gonna rip it without any sound?

165 votes for FP (1.60 / 5) (#91)
by Haunting Koan on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 03:26:57 PM EST

...and it's section?

Learn the scoring rules.. (3.00 / 4) (#95)
by geekmug on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 05:00:41 PM EST

(FP * 5) + (Sec * 4) + (DC * 2) + (Dump * 1) / Total Votes

(165 * 5) + (249 * 4) + (48 * 2) + (172 * 1) / 634 = 3.29..

Barely above the 3.25 threshold to get Section. Of course, there is a comment score averaged in, but still, this article wasn't even close to being a FP.

-- Why reinvent the square wheel?
[ Parent ]
hehe (none / 0) (#139)
by Wah on Tue Mar 30, 2004 at 09:09:39 AM EST

look at the number of FP votes from users that have 'troll' in their handle.
--
sometimes things just are that way and that's it. They're true. Sure, Popper, et. al., may argue otherwise, but they're dead. You get it? Yet?
[ Parent ]
You do realize (1.28 / 21) (#99)
by Phil San on Sat Mar 27, 2004 at 07:39:00 PM EST

That rap is about the least worthy medium in art in the entire world.

Now tell me exactly all this worthless rap garbage is actually posted on k5?

I disagree with you (none / 3) (#121)
by Emissary on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 02:11:50 PM EST

but despite your blinkered perspective you've got a right to your opinion so I modded you up. This comment shouldn't be hidden.

"Be instead like Gamera -- mighty, a friend to children, and always, always screaming." - eSolutions
[ Parent ]
Suck a fatty, bitch (2.25 / 4) (#125)
by SilentChris on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 04:50:03 PM EST

How fuckin AMUSING, some fag Phil sittin here MUSING
Talkin shit, nothin but ABUSING
The mothafucka can't even write a sentence without MISUSING
A PUNCTUATION, or forgetting the COMBINATION of words outta FRUSTRATION
Shit, it's time for a DEDICATION and a CELEBRATION of all my Niggas here like KITTEN and Rog and Tex
Phil, you mothafuckas ain't shit but an IMITATION of guys like me with MOTIVATION who don't sit around cumin and MASTURBATIN in PREPARATION for their next "art" INVESTIGATION on this shitty site
Fuck it, screw the ARGUIN
I'll just kick your ass till you need cardiopulmonary RESUSCITATION and therapeutic REHABILITATION for FUCKIN with this bitch
Shit, grab the phone, better get your worker's COMPENSATION
'Fo I whoop your ass in a MANIFESTATION of my 1337 COVERT OPERATIONS

[ Parent ]
Sorry Pals (2.71 / 7) (#126)
by Mike Green Challenge on Sun Mar 28, 2004 at 10:29:31 PM EST

How about you check the history of Mike Green Chal
My rap skills cover you like concrete laid out with a trow
I'll let loose the link at the end of this short rap
but suffice it to say your rhymes look like you've got the clap
Did you make up this shit during painful urination?
You waver left and right like political views of my fine nation.

By our great freestyler kitten
You've been bitten
He's got you gripped in his carnivorous fang
Probably gets more brain than Krang
With a name like "Nigga" and rhymes so weak
It's a shame Biggie got shot, not you, Internet Freak

I'm the patent attorney, claiming prior art
Writing raps on K5 doesn't make you smart
At least you don't claim it has social implications like circletimessquare
That guy is so liberal he wishes we would all share
In Soviet Russia, they make men to his fancy
All communist business, shitty eurotrash music that's trancy

I've gotta represent for North Philly, home of my alma mater
But that don't mean I'm an illegitimate father
You want to knock on the business of Mr. Rust
Users like you are the ones he cannot trust
I'd revoke your account if it were my job
You probably photoshoped the pic of her with dick in her fem-slob

The link I am now going to reveal
On kuro5hin, I take my posting without much zeal
I never bash MS or hate on George Bush
All I do is smoke up a blunt of Hindu Kush
http://www.kuro5hin.org/comments/2003/8/19/14111/3435/154
Maybe you can rep me on your next tour.

GRIZZLOR.ORG

--
Aspies for Ron Paul

Ok, just a real quick freestyle 'cause you're good (2.75 / 4) (#128)
by Nigga on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 12:06:05 AM EST

Mike Green? let me whipe your mic clean
Cuz the shit u drop is the dirtiest i seen
Since Shultz murked off with linus' scene
You say you're challenge? musta been a nice dream
But.. besides your silly attempt at denouncin me
Your shit's pretty good, yo blaze an ounce wit me
But back the fuck off, On K5 I have no competitor
I'm even gettin props from rusty, offerin me editor
But if you need not concede, and take my offer of weed
You'll have to wait in line, i still have a hungry kitten to feed.

--------
The fuck happened to Nigga?
[ Parent ]

How the hell did this get past the queue?? (nt) (1.33 / 3) (#130)
by bigchris on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 07:01:20 AM EST



---
I Hate Jesus: -1: Bible thumper
kpaul: YAAT. YHL. HAND. btw, YAHWEH wins ;) [mt]
I think (2.83 / 6) (#132)
by Cro Magnon on Mon Mar 29, 2004 at 12:10:22 PM EST

a bunch of newbies were ready to vote it down, but they couldn't get sponsers.
Information wants to be beer.
[ Parent ]
it kinda... (none / 1) (#151)
by Ashur on Mon Apr 05, 2004 at 03:41:36 AM EST

sucks ass.

"User Sponsorship and Managed Growth" an Executive Summary | 153 comments (128 topical, 25 editorial, 1 hidden)
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