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The First New K5 User

By alby in Meta
Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 02:07:32 PM EST
Tags: Kuro5hin.org (all tags)
Kuro5hin.org

A while after new user registration was closed I wrote this story about the last K5 user.

As you might have noticed, new user registration has now re-opened. So someone out there must be the first new user ...


Well, step forward:

newuser test!

Okay, so chances are that's a test user. So please give a big welcome to our first legitimate (!) new user:

larryg19!

And please give a warm welcome to some of our other new users:

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Login

Poll
How many K5 accounts do you now have?
o 1 77%
o 2-5 18%
o 5-10 1%
o 10-20 0%
o 20+ (I have way too much free time) 2%

Votes: 229
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o this story
o newuser test
o larryg19
o bugmenot
o puff the magic crackpipe
o John F Kerry
o Yet Another Troll
o StephenHaw kingsLegs
o Stephen Hawkings Legs
o Skinny Beltbuckle
o justincase
o Disposable Troll Account
o K5 ANSI Reenactment Players
o Also by alby


Display: Sort:
The First New K5 User | 79 comments (69 topical, 10 editorial, 2 hidden)
The cynics were wrong (2.36 / 11) (#3)
by Yet Another Troll on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 10:46:22 AM EST

And to think, there was a ridiculous worry that all the trolls would be leaping on new accounts. That's almost as ridiculous as suggesting that Bush is a bad president, or that an armed populace is a bad idea.

not quite (none / 3) (#20)
by khallow on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 03:29:30 PM EST

When grannies all over have their own nuclear weapons arsenal, then we'll be properly armed.

Stating the obvious since 1969.
[ Parent ]

You sure? (none / 1) (#68)
by mrorange on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 10:00:35 PM EST

Take a look at the monikers of some of the new ones, I smell trolls!

[ Parent ]
I don't know what you're talking about (NT) (none / 0) (#75)
by Imma Troll on Mon Jul 19, 2004 at 02:32:56 PM EST


Will somebody light my sig?
[ Parent ]
larryg19 will not be stepping forward (3.00 / 13) (#4)
by rusty on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 11:34:37 AM EST

His email address (and I don't feel like I'm breaking any bonds of trust by revealing this) is apparently "dontworry". No, no domain or anything. That's it.

So, unfortunately, larry won't be joining us. And yes, "newuser test" is me.

____
Not the real rusty

aw (none / 1) (#6)
by Run4YourLives on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 12:16:16 PM EST

<south park sadaam>Hey guy, Relax! Don't worry about it.</south park sadaam>

It's slightly Japanese, but without all of that fanatical devotion to the workplace. - CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]
hey rusty... (2.42 / 7) (#10)
by Run4YourLives on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 01:03:40 PM EST

Can we put the rating system back to the way it was?

It was better than what we've got now... all you have to do is invoke a "percentage of hidden comments" death to accounts.

For example, if "Troll" has 20% of his comments hidden (under the old system), he is banned from posting, and his ratings are all erased from other comments. This would prevent the troll gangs that caused so many problems before. Once you're in the "hole" you need an admin to turn you back on.

Two (or whatever) accounts from the same IP get banned... so does the IP.

It's slightly Japanese, but without all of that fanatical devotion to the workplace. - CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]

except for drduck style modders... (none / 3) (#15)
by Kasreyn on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 02:11:31 PM EST

who never comment so they never have a comment hidden. How would you deal with them?


-Kasreyn


"Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgement Day:
We never asked to be born in the first place."

R.I.P. Kurt. You will be missed.
[ Parent ]
can't rate without posting (none / 3) (#16)
by Run4YourLives on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 02:19:10 PM EST

.. the same threshold that can get you kicked.

Pretty simple.

It's slightly Japanese, but without all of that fanatical devotion to the workplace. - CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]

Better plan (IMO) (2.50 / 4) (#38)
by Elendale on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 04:49:42 AM EST

All new accounts start untrusted. That's right, it's essentially the "pay to post" system. Except instead of dollars you pay in content. Even if you immediately start trolling hideously once you become trusted you still had to conribute, say, five solid (rating > 1) comments to the site. Then your trolls get zeroed and you end up back in untrusted land, gotta start over. And of course, untrusted users wouldn't be able to rate, etc. That's my current favorite plan- and i don't even like systems like this!
---

When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.


[ Parent ]
I suppose that's ok too... (none / 1) (#42)
by Run4YourLives on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 11:24:36 AM EST

I think mine is a bit more punitive to, (quoting Bush here) the "evildoers".

It's slightly Japanese, but without all of that fanatical devotion to the workplace. - CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]
Right, but it also has the flaw... (none / 1) (#62)
by Elendale on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 12:39:59 AM EST

Of making users "killable" by other users. It's both the good and the bad part of the model... Besides, i don't think our ideas are mutually exclusive.
---

When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.


[ Parent ]
Other advantage of this system: (none / 1) (#64)
by Elendale on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 04:41:36 AM EST

In some ways it reduces the reward for creating new dupe accounts when old ones get nixed. As long as our hypothetical trolls contribute a couple decently rated comments every once in a while they can keep their accounts "live" and thus have no reason to register a new account (where they'd have to write a bunch of good comments to even be able to break out of untrusted land again).

Also, it should be "contribute" above...


---

When free speech is outlawed, only criminals will complain.


[ Parent ]
drduck has commented (none / 3) (#23)
by Driusan on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 05:16:05 PM EST

And, of course, immediately earned a lot of zeros by doing so.


--
This space for rent.
[ Parent ]
How many other accounts are yours? (1.00 / 7) (#11)
by Xcyther on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 01:12:09 PM EST

Your just trying to make it look like you have more users than you really do.

_________________________________________
"Insydious" -- It's not as bad as you think

[ Parent ]
don't you know... (none / 3) (#13)
by Run4YourLives on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 01:48:37 PM EST

rusty is the only real user on this site...

oh, and then there's you, of course.

It's slightly Japanese, but without all of that fanatical devotion to the workplace. - CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]

That joke is old (none / 2) (#61)
by Big Sexxy Joe on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 11:37:24 PM EST

It hasn't been funny for a long time.  It's still a hit on Husi, though.

I'm like Jesus, only better.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free grassroots news hour
[ Parent ]
That's very naughty, you know. (2.78 / 14) (#19)
by Green Cup on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 03:28:13 PM EST

Dupe accounts are explicitly not permitted under the terms of the Scoop license. You'd better just hope rusty doesn't anonymise you for these infractions.

[ Parent ]
Re: larryg19 will not be stepping forward (none / 0) (#71)
by tinus on Mon Jul 19, 2004 at 05:38:16 AM EST

Don't you verify the email address before creating an account?

[ Parent ]
Apparently not (none / 0) (#73)
by rusty on Mon Jul 19, 2004 at 01:24:08 PM EST

I thought we checked for basic formatting (like an @ and a dot, at least) but I guess we do not.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Maybe (none / 1) (#74)
by Imma Troll on Mon Jul 19, 2004 at 02:30:41 PM EST

whatever automated bot checks this decided not to "worry". :)
Will somebody light my sig?
[ Parent ]
That means I win! (none / 0) (#78)
by Booji Boy on Fri Sep 03, 2004 at 03:15:43 PM EST

my cheque is in the mail right?

[ Parent ]
I'd be terribly excited (2.94 / 17) (#7)
by mcc on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 12:34:25 PM EST

about seeing all these new faces that have popped up in the last 24 hours if I weren't relatively certain that they're almost entirely just the same old K5 users signing up for new accounts over and over.

Nevertheless, I'm sure things will get significantly more interesting around here once the euphoria of "omfg i can register a throwaway account" dies off and we start legitimately accumulating new users.

That said, "Stephen Hawkings Legs" is a pretty good name, whoever did that one. I'm really not looking forward to see what this "John F Kerry" celebrity troll account has in store, though. That seems to promise to be a pinnacle of uncreative hackwork that makes the late-period Steve Ballmer account seem like a veritable fountain of comedy by comparison.

---
Aside from that, the absurd meta-wankery of k5er-quoting sigs probably takes the cake. Especially when the quote itself is about k5. -- tsubame

N00b (2.55 / 9) (#12)
by Purple Meteor on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 01:22:57 PM EST

I'm one of those new users myself and I tried to forget K5 because I couldn't post comments, but the quality of all the stories always brought me back here. I hope (really!) that a lot of this new blood you're waiting for will soon come...

[ Parent ]
l33t (1.66 / 6) (#14)
by mcc on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 01:56:15 PM EST

nt

[ Parent ]
puff the magic crackpipe made me laugh out loud.nt (none / 3) (#35)
by trane on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 12:42:21 AM EST



[ Parent ]
Hi (1.50 / 12) (#8)
by o O on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 12:39:30 PM EST

I am a new user here too. Will you be my friend?

wekwkewek... (1.00 / 7) (#51)
by weks on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:55:28 PM EST

we r all new hir it wud seem...
i like --> U <----

[ \@o@/ | weks! ]
[ Parent ]

*sniff* (1.00 / 16) (#17)
by Imma Troll on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 02:28:12 PM EST

I didn't get mentioned! I'm so depresssed!
Will somebody light my sig?
Feh, trigger happy teens (2.50 / 4) (#22)
by Melissa Rent5 Parakeet Cynic on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 04:14:51 PM EST

Some of us more mature heads took hours to come up with a new nom de plume. First post is fun, but last troll standing wins the special olympics.

This account has been disabled. You are invited to check the comment history (including the parent comments) and draw your own Ko5clusions as to why.
+1, wankery (1.06 / 15) (#24)
by Hide Teh Hamster on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 06:09:30 PM EST




This revitalised kuro5hin thing, it reminds me very much of the new German Weimar Republic. Please don't let the dark cloud of National Socialism descend upon it again.
why would you need a new account? (1.66 / 6) (#26)
by rmg on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 08:01:37 PM EST

i just don't understand what it is that makes people get new accounts. what's the point?

observe:

i'm not afraid to say that i've been having intercourse with your prepubescent daughter. she hasn't told you because i told her you would be so ashamed if you knew. more than that, i've been blackmailing your wife with legers from her former employer, i.e. tyrone on eighth and fourty deuce.

shocking!

_____

if i do not respond, it is because you wrote nothing worthy of response.

dave dean

Stop trying. (2.66 / 12) (#36)
by kitten on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 12:52:57 AM EST

It's embarassing to watch.
mirrorshades radio - darkwave, synthpop, industrial, futurepop.
[ Parent ]
hmm... bugmenot? (none / 2) (#27)
by reklaw on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 08:11:18 PM EST

I wonder if whoever that was added it to bugmenot's site...

No, they didn't. Odd.
-

I've tried (none / 1) (#52)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 07:12:43 PM EST

Sent an email to their support staff, but they just sent an email back saying why would you need one for K5? I replied telling them why, but havent heard back.

---

I am living on borrowed time.
[ Parent ]

i luv u --->bugmenot (none / 3) (#53)
by weks on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 08:56:45 PM EST

i luv u....... u wana seks??????

[ \@o@/ | weks! ]
[ Parent ]

Not here (none / 2) (#55)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 10:20:09 PM EST

What makes you think you can get that yet? And everybody's watching.

---

I am living on borrowed time.
[ Parent ]

speak for yourself (none / 2) (#56)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 10:23:26 PM EST

I want sex!

---

I am living on borrowed time.
[ Parent ]

ok (none / 2) (#57)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 10:44:53 PM EST

what are you wearing?

---

I am living on borrowed time.
[ Parent ]

Please enter a subject for your comment. (none / 2) (#58)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 11:15:07 PM EST

wouldn't this be cyber-masturbation?

---

I am living on borrowed time.
[ Parent ]

This is what happens (2.50 / 4) (#63)
by Lionfire on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 03:17:22 AM EST

This is what happens when you open new user registrations?

Oh dear...



[ blog | cute ]
[ Parent ]
Wrong account, bugmenot (none / 1) (#67)
by alby on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 01:30:29 PM EST

I think you meant to log in as "weks" before posting this.

--
Alby
[ Parent ]

:) man thats funny (none / 2) (#30)
by m a r c on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 09:45:05 PM EST

'Disposable Troll Account' - new users only just allowed and two of the new ones make it plain that they're only going to be trollin'
I got a dog and named him "Stay". Now, I go "Come here, Stay!". After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
You left one out: (2.42 / 7) (#31)
by sllort on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 09:53:06 PM EST

http://www.kuro5hin.org/user/rustys%20next%20temper%20tantrum

Excusable, though, as it was anonymized instantly. Making it the first self-fullfilling-prophecy account?
--
Warning: On Lawn is a documented liar.

Disposable Troll Account has been neutered too. (none / 2) (#32)
by The Honorable Elijah Muhammad on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 11:18:53 PM EST

How appropriate.


___
localroger is a tool.
In memory of the You Sad Bastard thread. A part of our heritage.
[ Parent ]
hahaha (none / 3) (#33)
by troll on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 12:10:23 AM EST

All the good names are taken.
-----trolls arms just grow back!!!
Interested. (none / 2) (#34)
by /dev/trash on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 12:26:24 AM EST

Realy wanna see how K5 ANSI pulls it off.

---
Updated 02/20/2004
New Site
IN THIS MODERN AGE WE SHOULD BE USING (2.75 / 4) (#41)
by noogie on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 08:33:38 AM EST

UNICODE AND IPV6!


*** ANONYMIZED BY THE EVIL KUROFIVEHIN MILITARY JUNTA ***
[ Parent ]
Oops, wrong account (none / 2) (#66)
by zantispam on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 11:22:43 AM EST

:-)

Free Duxup!
[ Parent ]
how sad (1.20 / 5) (#37)
by dimaq on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 04:05:01 AM EST

so many torlls

weks new user!! (1.14 / 7) (#44)
by weks on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 05:02:18 PM EST

teh weks new user tooo!!!1
weks aaaannnggrrrrryyy!!11
>_____________<

[ \@o@/ | weks! ]

Haha (none / 2) (#45)
by pinkcress on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:06:45 PM EST

Surprise me.

Sorry, that's all I have to say.

---
damnit all these 'facts' getting in the way of my writing - turmeric

t'es une pute (1.00 / 3) (#60)
by thankyougustad on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 11:34:40 PM EST

surprise?

No no thanks no
Je n'aime que le bourbon
no no thanks no
c'est une affaire de goût.

[ Parent ]
Hi everybody (none / 2) (#46)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:17:52 PM EST

I seem to be the first true new user. Do I win a cookie or a kiss from rusty?

---

I am living on borrowed time.

no.... (1.00 / 5) (#47)
by weks on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:27:52 PM EST

but teh weks wil kiss u!!!1

[ \@o@/ | weks! ]
[ Parent ]

On the mouth? [n/t] (none / 3) (#48)
by bugmenot on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:30:54 PM EST


---

I am living on borrowed time.
[ Parent ]

yah ok (1.25 / 4) (#50)
by weks on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:51:22 PM EST

yah ok sure....... wkwkwk....

[ \@o@/ | weks! ]
[ Parent ]

my good fortune (2.75 / 4) (#49)
by thepictsie on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 06:34:58 PM EST

Well, at least a few have got to be actual new users. Me, for instance. I didn't even know K5 hadn't been taking new users. I just decided today to start reading, and signed up. I must just be lucky.

Look, a distraction!

Skinny Beltbuckle (none / 3) (#54)
by ghugle on Thu Jul 15, 2004 at 09:09:30 PM EST

Now that guy sounds cool!

There are some new users (none / 1) (#65)
by Dreamaster on Fri Jul 16, 2004 at 10:33:44 AM EST

I'm new - been lurking for months. Look forward to chatting - ;)
____________________
Mostly Harmless
Well... (none / 1) (#69)
by dsm iv tr on Sat Jul 17, 2004 at 03:48:37 PM EST

To be honest, I'm looking forward to what "Disposable Troll Account" has to say on such topics as capitalism and democracy.

Not much. (none / 0) (#70)
by The Honorable Elijah Muhammad on Sun Jul 18, 2004 at 09:36:52 PM EST

Disposable Troll Account has been neutered.


___
localroger is a tool.
In memory of the You Sad Bastard thread. A part of our heritage.
[ Parent ]
That was ... somewhat expected. :) /nt (none / 0) (#72)
by dsm iv tr on Mon Jul 19, 2004 at 09:07:09 AM EST



I'M a new user... (none / 0) (#79)
by AlejandroDelLoco on Mon Oct 25, 2004 at 05:39:06 PM EST

I just done joined the other day...
nngh.
The First New K5 User | 79 comments (69 topical, 10 editorial, 2 hidden)
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