By BottleRocket in Meta
Sat Sep 08, 2007 at 03:15:43 PM EST
Tags: LilDebbie nailed to a church door, new user accounts, $5, Kuro5hin.org, i am better than you (all tags)
Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed using Scoop, under the presidency of the Reverend BottleRocket, Doctor of Internets and of Sacred Theology, and Lecturer in Ordinary on the same at kuro5hin.org. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present to suggest what the Lecturer might do with a shotgun may do so by email or youtube demonstration.
In the name of the Cloaked User, Amen.
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- The Divine Will of the Community, when it said "MTV, VTD", willed that the whole life of bloggers should be repentance.
- This word cannot be understood to mean sacramental penance, i.e., confession and satisfaction, which is administered by rusty.
- Yet it means not inward repentance only; nay, there is no inward repentance which does not outwardly work diverse mortifications of the flesh.
- The Diary Section, therefore, continues so long as hatred of self continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the archives.
- rusty does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority or by that of the admin.
- rusty cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by The Community and by assenting to The Community's remission; though, to be sure, he may grant remission in cases reserved to his judgment. If his right to grant remission in such cases were despised, the guilt would remain entirely unforgiven.
- The Community remits guilt to no one whom it does not, at the same time, humble in all things and bring into subjection to its vicar, the voting button.
- The penitential canons are imposed only on the living, and, according to them, nothing should be imposed on sock puppet accounts.
- Therefore the holy spirit in rusty is kind to us, because in his decrees he always makes exception of the article of death and of necessity.
- Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those admins who, in the case of users like Aurochs, reserve canonical penances for anonymization.
- This changing of the canonical penalty to the penalty of anonymization is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while Michael Crawford slept.
- In former times the canonical penalties were imposed not after, but before absolution, as tests of true contrition.
- The pending anonymized are freed from all penalties; they are already dead to canonical rules, and have a right to be released from them.
- The imperfect health of soul, that is to say, the imperfect love, of Lemon Juice brings with it, of necessity, great fear; and the smaller the love, the greater is the fear.
- This fear and horror is sufficient of itself alone (to say nothing of other things) to constitute the penalty of anonymization, since it is very near to the horror of despair.
- Anonymization, Hell, and trusted user status seem to differ as do despair, almost-despair, and the assurance of safety.
- With souls in anonymization it seems necessary that horror should grow less and love increase.
- It seems unproved, either by reason or help/FAQ, that they are outside the state of merit, that is to say, of increasing love.
- Again, it seems unproved that they, or at least that all of them, are certain or assured of their own trusted user status, though we may be quite certain of it.
- Therefore by "full remission of all penalties" rusty means not actually "of all," but only of those imposed by himself.
- Therefore those preachers of indulgences are in error, who say that by rusty's indulgences a man is freed from every penalty, and saved;
- Whereas he remits to souls in anonymization no penalty which, according to the canons, they would have had to pay in this life.
- If it is at all possible to grant to any one the remission of all penalties whatsoever, it is certain that this remission can be granted only to the most perfect, that is, to claes.
- It must needs be, therefore, that the greater part of the people are deceived by that indiscriminate and highsounding promise of release from penalty.
- The power which rusty has, in a general way, over anonymization, is just like the power which LilDebbie has, in a special way, over his own homosexuality.
- rusty does well when he grants remission to souls in anonymization, not by the power of the GPG private keys (which he does not possess), but by way of intercession.
- They preach man who say that so soon as the penny jingles into the money-box, the user flies out of anonymization.
- It is certain that when the penny jingles into the money-box, gain and avarice can be increased, but the result of the intercession of kuro5hin is in the power of The Community alone.
- Who knows whether all the souls in anonymization wish to be bought out of it, as in the legend of Sts. NIWS and Egil Skallagrimson.
- No one is sure that his own contrition is sincere; much less that he has attained full remission by paying $5.
- Rare as is the man that is truly penitent, so rare is also the man who truly buys indulgences, i.e., such men are most rare.
- They will be condemned eternally, who believe themselves sure of their salvation because they have letters of pardon.
- Men must be on their guard against those who say that rusty's pardons are that inestimable gift of The Community by which man is reconciled to It;
- For these "graces of pardon" concern only the penalties of sacramental satisfaction, and these are appointed by a monacled man.
- They preach no sound doctrine who teach that contrition is not necessary in those who intend to buy souls out of anonymization or to buy "duxup loves you" t-shirts.
- Every truly repentant user has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without paying rusty $5.
- Every true user, whether active or anonymized, has part in all the blessings of the Community and kuro5hin; and this is granted him by The Community, even without letters of pardon.
- Nevertheless, the remission and participation in the blessings of kuro5hin which are granted by rusty are in no way to be despised, for they are, as I have said, the declaration of divine remission.
- It is most difficult, even for the very keenest lurker, at one and the same time to commend to the people the abundance of pardons and the need of true contrition.
- True contrition seeks and loves penalties, but liberal pardons only relax penalties and cause them to be hated, or at least, furnish an occasion for hating them.
- $5 pardons are to be preached with caution, lest the people may falsely think them preferable to other good works of literature.
- Users are to be taught that rusty does not intend the buying of pardons to be compared in any way to works of mercy.
- Users are to be taught that he who gives to the poor or lends to the needy does a better work than buying pardons;
- Because love grows by works of love, and man becomes better; but by $5 pardons man does not grow better, only more free from penalty.
- Users are to be taught that he who sees a man in need, and passes him by, and gives his $5 for pardons, purchases not the indulgences of rusty, but the indignation of The Community.
- Users are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pardons.
- Users are to be taught that the buying of pardons is a matter of free will, and not of commandment.
- Users are to be taught that rusty, in granting pardons, needs, and therefore desires, their devout prayer for him more than the money they bring.
- Users are to be taught that rusty's pardons are useful, if they do not put their trust in them; but altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of The Community.
- Users are to be taught that if rusty knew the exactions of the pardon-preachers, he would rather that k5 should go to ashes, than that it should be built up with the skin, flesh and bones of his $5 account buyers.
- Users are to be taught that it would be rusty's wish, as it is his duty, to give of his own money to very many of those from whom certain hawkers of pardons cajole money, even though kuro5hin might have to be sold.
- The assurance of salvation by letters of pardon is vain, even though aphrael, nay, even though rusty himself, were to stake his soul upon it.
- They are enemies of the admins and of rusty, who bid the Word of The Community be altogether silent in some Churches, in order that pardons may be preached in others.
- Injury is done the Word of The Community when, in a single rant, an equal or a longer time is spent on $5 pardons than on horsecock.
- It must be the intention of rusty that if $5 pardons, which are a very small thing, are celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Front Page, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.
- The "treasures of kuro5hin," out of which rusty grants indulgences, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of The Diary Section.
- That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.
- Nor are they the merits of The Will of the Community, for even without rusty, these always work (3)'s for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward man.
- St. Mybostinks said that the treasures of kuro5hin were kuro5hin's poor, but he spoke according to the usage of the Diary Section in his own time.
- Without rashness we say that the keys of kuro5hin, the admin escalation hax0rs, are that treasure;
- For it is clear that for the remission of penalties and of disabled Tor, the power of rusty is of itself sufficient.
- The true treasure of kuro5hin is the Most Holy Gospel of the Diary Section and the grace of The Community.
- But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last, LOL.
- On the other hand, the treasure of $5 is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the last to be first.
- Therefore the treasures of the Diary Section are nets with which they formerly were wont to fish for men of riches.
- The treasures of the $5 indulgences are nets with which they now fish for the riches of men. Zing!
- The indulgences which the admins cry as the "greatest graces" are known to be truly such, in so far as they promote gain.
- Yet they are in truth the very smallest graces compared with the grace of The Community and the piety of the Voting Queue.
- Admins are bound to admit the commissaries of pardons, with all reverence.
- But still more are they bound to strain all their eyes twitching at computer monitors, lest these admins preach their own dreams instead of the commission of rusty.
- He who speaks against the truth of $5 pardons, let him be anathema and accursed!
- But he who guards against the lust and license of the $5 pardon-preachers, let him be blessed!
- rusty justly thunders against those who, by any art, contrive the injury of the traffic in pardons.
- But much more does he intend to thunder against those who use the pretext of pardons to contrive the injury of holy love and trusted user status.
- To think the pardons so great that they could absolve a man even if he had committed an impossible sin and linked rustina -- this is madness.
- We say, on the contrary, that the ruston pardons are not able to remove the very least of venial sins, so far as its guilt is concerned.
- It is said that even SaintPort, if he were made the new rusty, could not bestow greater graces; this is blasphemy against rusty.
- We say, on the contrary, that even the present rusty, and any admin at all, has greater graces at his disposal; to wit, the Gospel, powers, gifts of healing, etc., as it is written in I. Kstandstr xii.
- To say that the "(3) Encourage," which is set up by the preachers of indulgences, is of equal worth with the story in the queue, is blasphemy.
- The trolls and lurkers who allow such talk to be spread among the people, will have an account to render.
- This unbridled preaching of pardons makes it no easy matter, even for learned men, to rescue the reverence due to rusty from slander, or even from the shrewd questionings of the abuse report filer.
- To wit: -- "Why does not rusty empty the trough of anonymized users, for the sake of holy love and of the dire need of the souls that are there, if he redeems an infinite number of souls for the sake of miserable money with which to build a userbase? The former reasons would be most just; the latter is beating a dead horsecock."
- Again: -- "Why are mortuary and anniversary masses for the dead continued, and why does he not return or permit the withdrawal of the endowments founded on their behalf, since it is wrong to pray for the redeemed?"
- Again: -- "What is this new piety of The Community and rusty, that for money they allow a man who is impious and their enemy to buy out of anonymization the pious soul of a friend of The Community, and do not rather, because of that pious and beloved soul's own need, free it for pure love's sake?"
- Again: -- "Why not repardon Tex Bigballs?"
- Again: -- "Why does not rusty, whose wealth is to-day greater than the riches of the richest, build just this one community with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers?"
- Again: -- "What is it that rusty remits, and what participation does he grant to those like somaudlin or fleece, who, by perfect contrition, have a right to full remission and participation?"
- Again: -- "What greater blessing could come to kuro5hin than if rusty were to do a hundred times a day what he now does once, and bestow on every believer these remissions and participations?"
- Again: -- "Since rusty, by his pardons, seeks the salvation of souls rather than money, why does he godfather current users, since these have equal efficacy?"
- To repress these arguments and scruples of the exasperated user by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose kuro5hin and rusty to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make trhurler cry.
- If, therefore, pardons were preached according to the spirit and mind of rusty, all these doubts would be readily resolved; nay, they would not exist.
- Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of kuro5hin, "IHBT," and there is no troll!
- Blessed be all those prophets who say to the sye, "whut," when there is 本中译!
- Users are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following rusty, empowered as an Island Council Representative, through loss of privelidges, anonymizations, etc.;
- And thus be confident of entering into The Front Page rather through many tribulations, than through remittance of $5.