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K5 2007: Teh Ghetto in Review

By nostalgiphile in Meta
Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 03:06:31 AM EST
Tags: ghetto, anti+1FP, Kuro5hin, K5 Kabal, bribes, money, influence (all tags)

Since the K5 Emperor of Icecream, eavier, foisted the augean task of ghetto-reviewing onto my skinny shoulders this year, here goes. First, we begin with the grimy w/hole itself, and then move to the individual rotting parts thereof. The obvious changes to the ghetto landscape were: trhurler didn't come back from his hike, MichaelCrawford started giving it away, my kuron brethren were badly trolled by a xanax-popping dysfunctional alcoholic), both Egil and insomnyuk decided to suicidomize themselfs, NIWS/Spellcheckbot attacked (again), and rusty took apart his bathroom and added walls to K5.

Rotting parts inside:


In no particular order:
* LilDebbie continues to quit smoking, posting teh gym diaries and molesting himself in the dark.
* BottleRocket became a druggie cyborg and continues to compose doggerel cycling verse while riding his bike, Roxanne.
* givemegmail got a paper published.
* localroger bloviated about teh authoritarians and compared K5 to FARK. lol
* Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote a doujinshi about Michael Crawford and trolled the scientologists.
* sye continues to post stuff to that reminds us all (admit it) of that song Ana Ng
* trane gave up crack, got Gandhi, talked to his agents, started working at the library, and went on several hikes. Despite himself, trane continues to be the model kuron...
* balsamic_vinigga reviewed the fleshlight and went on to write the K5 Guide to Castration.
* CTS proclaims this August thread, using `fuckwad' no less than 37 times, his greatest troll evar.
* MMM, self-proclaimed Alpha Male, got a job as a senior toilet-bowl cleaner and continues to gloat.
* The Real PoopyPeanutz contributed to our understanding of the Virginia Tech Massacre, began "The Winner", and was outed as Psycho Dave after we all became $5 trolls.
* Psycho Dave pirated all the CDs in Denver's Public Library and got the PoopyPeanutz blog up to speed, finally.
* B0sk was going to move to Amerika and fuck over the K5 East Asia Kabal, but then didn't because of Iggy Pop. Also, his Definitive Guide to K5 womyns.
* Del Griffith escaped the clutches of psycho (for now), but on x-mas eve went missing on a hike to a redneck bar in Arkansas...
* fluxrad ranted about the comics-as-movies destroying his childhood, shaving and accidents.
* xC0000005, K5's resident Social Darwinist, held forth on the virtues of discrimination and continued to serenade his bees.
* MrHanky became a pomo neo-baroque (vampire), and then came back as himself...sorta.
* RQ and Egil fell in love and ran away to live on an iceberg in Canada, where they happily beat baby seals to death to this day.
* NoMoreNicksLeft came back to the fold with a fury and (hopefully) continues his important work on pr0n search engines.
* j1mmy's car broke down because he was too busy chasing females across America in it.
* mybostinks continues w/tales of convicts, factory workers, and fortune tellers. One sample gem here. Despite terry's best efforts, ko4ting is almost dead...
* Delirium discovered our plagiarists and visited Taiwan without my permission or knowledge.
* lonelyhobo blamed the govm't and hates google.
* Psychology Sucks got married, and moved to Florida.
* gndn got a divorce and is still paying off his debts and thinking about death late into the night
* osm came back to K5 to announce he'd purchased a money printer and pressure MC into finishing OggFrogg
* eavier kicked off the 2007 K5 Pr0nfest and Bacchus crowned Jobst of Moravia winner in the highly democratic {sic} elections that followed. He now works in the Horticulture Industry as a white slave.
* Tex Bigballs got anonymated (to the delight of lr) while I was on vacation, launched The Husi Outreach Krusade, and yay, verily, did the Kurons rape and pillage all of Husidom!

And yet, while the Husites were conquered, several prominent kurons went MIA from the ghetto this year:
- livus
- Del Griffith
- Psychology Sucks
- fluxrad
- thugsonfilm
- [your name here]

In conclusio, despite several major losses and setbacks, the Kurons continue their warlike dominance over the weaker peoples of the internets. Although our kuron population continues to dwindle, as you can see from the above, only the mighty survive.**

Here is Cambria's 2006 K5 Year in Review.

--
# partial list incompl.
# # this review brought to you with the help of a really functioning "search archive" feature.

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Poll
A year in the kuro-ghetto is:
o Like a year in the off-world colonies 36%
o Like a year on the streets of Brooklyn 32%
o Like a year inside someone else's nightmare 32%
o Like a year strolling across a grassy plain with sunshine and birds 32%
o Like a year with friends who make me feel warm and special 40%
o Like a year inside a big fat yellow zit which is about to pop and ooze smelly junk all over the place 60%

Votes: 25
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Google
o trhurler didn't come back
o giving it away
o kuron brethren were badly trolled
o Spellcheck bot
o rusty took apart
o teh gym diaries
o molesting himself in the dark
o a druggie cyborg
o doggerel cycling verse
o got a paper published.
o teh authoritarians
o compared K5 to FARK
o about Michael Crawford
o trolled the scientologists
o Ana Ng
o gave up crack
o hikes
o the fleshlight
o K5 Guide to Castration
o this August thread
o got a job
o began "The Winner"
o was outed as Psycho Dave
o pirated all the CDs
o because of Iggy Pop
o Definitive Guide to K5 womyns
o escaped the clutches
o went missing
o destroying his childhood
o shaving
o accidents
o virtues of discrimination
o serenade his bees.
o became a pomo neo-baroque
o ran away
o with a fury
o car broke down
o chasing females
o One sample gem here
o ko4ting is almost dead
o permission or knowledge.
o blamed the govm't
o hates google
o got married
o late into the night
o purchased a money printer
o 2007 K5 Pr0nfest
o works in the Horticulture Industry as a white slave
o got anonymated
o The Husi Outreach Krusade
o population continues to dwindle
o Cambria's 2006 K5 Year in Review
o Also by nostalgiphile


Display: Sort:
K5 2007: Teh Ghetto in Review | 68 comments (44 topical, 24 editorial, 0 hidden)
k5: feces powered mind vomit extraordinaire (none / 0) (#7)
by circletimessquare on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 04:34:35 AM EST



The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

you despisers of the ghetto (none / 1) (#8)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 04:58:13 AM EST

will be overthrown, one day...

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
i think they have (3.00 / 2) (#16)
by LilDebbie on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 08:41:35 AM EST

victory is ours, brotha.

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
But at what cost? (none / 0) (#52)
by MrHanky on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 04:36:11 PM EST

The place is crap now. At least it's ours, all ours.


"This was great, because it was a bunch of mature players who were able to express themselves and talk politics." Lettuce B-Free, on being a total fucking moron for Ron Paul.
[ Parent ]
Hey (none / 1) (#14)
by BJH on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 08:13:55 AM EST

I visited Taiwan too, where's my fucking mention?

In other news from 2007: k5's search function continues to suck horseshit through a narrow straw.
--
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

Sex Tourism is best done discreetly (3.00 / 4) (#15)
by givemegmail111 on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 08:30:08 AM EST

You don't want to be like that guy on the news, do you?

--
McDonalds: i'm lovin' it
Start your day tastefully with a Parent ]
as I recall (none / 0) (#18)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 09:07:01 AM EST

you were gonna come visit us in Formosa too, what's with that?

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
I decided not to apply (none / 0) (#20)
by givemegmail111 on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 09:14:50 AM EST

Two months on the other side of the world doesn't seem like as much fun now that textbook girl is madly in love with me. I couldn't do that to her, poor thing.

Also, my Mandarin would be embarassingly bad.

--
McDonalds: i'm lovin' it
Start your day tastefully with a Parent ]

textbook girl (3.00 / 2) (#21)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 09:25:56 AM EST

was my next question--so you rly lucked out with her? WTG, champ, but now that she's madly in love w/yuo you most certainly need to GTFO...it's called strategic withdrawal, mein freund.

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
fucking hell (none / 0) (#19)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 09:08:46 AM EST

why do you people insist on coming here when I'm out of the country? And I was gonna help you spend your per diem...

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
I vaguely recall... (none / 1) (#30)
by BJH on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 11:28:19 AM EST

...commenting in one of your diaries that I was coming over, but I suspect you did't have the chance to read it before I got over there.
--
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

[ Parent ]
Uh... (none / 0) (#31)
by BJH on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 11:29:31 AM EST

...didn't.
--
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

[ Parent ]
we'll have to do this properly (none / 0) (#36)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 12:28:28 PM EST

when I come to JP next yr. There will be no per diem, but you will probly not need to feed me...

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
Next year? (none / 0) (#44)
by BJH on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 01:09:02 AM EST

As in 2009? Bit early to be planning ahead isn't it? ;)
--
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

[ Parent ]
-1, steaming pile of wank (none / 1) (#33)
by chlorus on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 11:42:52 AM EST


Peahippo: Coked-up internet tough guy or creepy pedophile?

hoorj for us (none / 1) (#34)
by j1mmy on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 11:43:05 AM EST

should we start a betting pool on who kicks the bucket in 2008? thurler this year, mindpixel last year, and i think there was someone the year before that but i cannot remember for sure

3:1 rusty gets hurt fixing his house (none / 0) (#40)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 02:22:28 PM EST

geeks can't do junk like carpentry without hobbling themselves, trust me: it's only a matter of time before his hot water heater falls on him.

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
now, now (none / 0) (#41)
by j1mmy on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 07:12:55 PM EST

rusty has a child. let's not wish ill of him.

you, on the other hand, live in asia. perhaps you will contract an avian flu and die in a pool of your own blood and phlegm.

[ Parent ]

wtf, no kids = so what if yuo die? (none / 1) (#42)
by nostalgiphile on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 09:12:01 PM EST

plus, I wasn't wishing ill on the Master, just pointing out how rusty has one of those big geek heads that traditionally tends to throw us off balance.

"Depending on your perspective you are an optimist or a pessimist[,] and a hopeless one too." --trhurler
[ Parent ]
kids = emergency food supply (none / 0) (#45)
by j1mmy on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 01:48:46 AM EST

duh

[ Parent ]
Only minorly (none / 1) (#46)
by rusty on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 11:05:12 AM EST

Many many splinters, cuts, and scratches about the hands. Yesterday I got what I can only describe as a hemorrhaging splinter. A fairly big splinter went right in the crease of the first joint on my right index finger, so I went "ow" and pulled it out and went about my business. A couple minutes later I noticed my right hand was wet, glanced down and the goddamn thing was covered with blood from that splinter hole. I think it poked a vein or something. Wrapped it up with a large band-aid, and all is well now.

Incidentally, Band-Aid Brand Flexible Fabric Bandages are the only ones worth a damn.

I also burned my chest. I had to cut off a protruding nail with the sawzall, and it popped off and went straight down my shirt. Ow ow ow.

But I was a carpenter before I was a geek, so I'm probably exempt from the general rule.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]

You are doing ok. (none / 0) (#50)
by xC0000005 on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 04:26:12 PM EST

The last (literally last) joint in converting the entire house to copper plumbing was done in a space between floor joists for the upstairs and above the plenum. I had to flux the joint(s), crawl in, fit them...crawl out, light torch. Carry lit torch and solder, crawl back into tiny space. Solder quick, wriggle out and turn off torch.

What wound up happening with the bath tub drain? You get it removed and re-fitted?

Voice of the Hive - Beekeeping and Bees for those who don't
[ Parent ]

Tub drain (none / 0) (#51)
by rusty on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 04:31:45 PM EST

Yikes, I gotta call that guy. Thanks for reminding me. Yeah, I got the drain off and shipped out to the fixture place. They gave me an estimate which was kind of higher than expected, but still basically no more expensive than my second best option. So I'm going to give them the go-ahead to do it. I was considering it, and then the guy there was on vacation, so no progress yet. I'm gonna call him right now.

____
Not the real rusty
[ Parent ]
Wow, I made the Intro, sort of... (3.00 / 3) (#35)
by Brogdel on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 12:22:38 PM EST

Thanks for noticing my efforts. I plan to stop drinking and increase the drug use so 2008 is gonna be a great year.

Increase the hot sex (3.00 / 2) (#37)
by mybostinks on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 12:40:10 PM EST

along with bean farting too.

[ Parent ]
Hey, we keep fooling around here (none / 1) (#38)
by United Fools on Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 12:55:11 PM EST

in 2007...

We are united, we are fools, and we are America!
K5 vs. Fark Part 2 (none / 1) (#47)
by localroger on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 12:26:03 PM EST

I didn't bother to mention it here but last month another Fark member sponsored me for six months. A total stranger just spent $30 to encourage me to participate. Those of you whinging about Rusty's $5 signup fee might want to think about that.

alexboko: I think, how do animals view our behavior?
Sgt York: Opening
Why yes... (none / 0) (#48)
by destroyallofit on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 02:03:32 PM EST

Fark really is that desperate.

Er....suck it, asshat...loloool. =/

[ Parent ]

I suppose you could interpret it that way (none / 0) (#49)
by localroger on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 03:22:37 PM EST

...but I'd call it a stretch. If you weren't looking so hard for ways to make anything I say look bad you probably wouldn't see it that way either.

alexboko: I think, how do animals view our behavior?
Sgt York: Opening
[ Parent ]
It's just this: (none / 0) (#53)
by destroyallofit on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 08:42:08 PM EST

Whenever someone suggests there is some kind of redeemable discourse going on at Fark, I feel like jamming hyenas in their eyes. I like the occasional witty headlines too, but the discussion going on there hovers somewhere between Digg and Yahoo! Answers. I'm frankly shocked you'd assert otherwise (again).

[ Parent ]
I suppose it depends on the thread (none / 1) (#55)
by localroger on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 08:54:43 PM EST

They have a lot of threads over there. Some are better than others. I know what you're talking about, and I ignore those.

Once you get past the absence of site-original content, the discussions actually resemble K5 discussions an awful lot; less so in some threads, but more in others. Given what K5 has been like lately, would you really argue that Fark is all that bad by comparison, especially if you cherry-pick a K5-equivalent size chunk of it to peruse?

alexboko: I think, how do animals view our behavior?
Sgt York: Opening
[ Parent ]

But we all know we could do better. (none / 1) (#56)
by destroyallofit on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 09:44:36 PM EST

 Fark is genuinely doing the best it can.

Thus, k5 ftw.

[ Parent ]

We could, certainly... (none / 0) (#57)
by codespace on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 10:45:08 PM EST

Shame we don't anymore. At all.

_____
today on how it's made: kitchen knives, mannequins, socks and hypodermic needles.
[ Parent ]
What codespace said $ (3.00 / 2) (#63)
by localroger on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 08:18:13 AM EST



alexboko: I think, how do animals view our behavior?
Sgt York: Opening
[ Parent ]
Wow: re trhurler (none / 0) (#54)
by strlen on Mon Jan 07, 2008 at 08:51:53 PM EST

Having known his real name by seeing an email address that he listed as a contact for an old domain (and having googled that name and seen - in addition to obituaries / news stories - many USENET posts which are very much in his style), I am pretty struck/surprised. For the sake of his relatives/friends, I will not post his real name on this site, but send an email if you're interested. Yes, he was found dead at a campsite. Sad to see a major contributor (with whom I've had both informative exchanges and intense flamewars) go.

--
[T]he strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone. - Henrik Ibsen.
You haven't been around for a while, have you? (none / 0) (#58)
by oddity on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 01:06:04 AM EST

You seem to have missed the front page story on this, in which multiple comments listed his name and gave sufficient confirmation that it was indeed he who died.

[ Parent ]
Yeah (none / 0) (#61)
by strlen on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 04:03:12 AM EST

Discovered that after I made that comment. Haven't really come to K5 at all recently (or if I did came only to check for replies and new diaries of people on my Hotlist).

--
[T]he strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone. - Henrik Ibsen.
[ Parent ]
Egil's meltdown (3.00 / 3) (#59)
by BottleRocket on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 01:55:50 AM EST

Trolltrack statistics show that Egil's diary blitz annihilated records and is unlikely to be matched anytime soon. Truly a k5 icon.

$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
$B R Σ III$

Nice work chief (none / 1) (#60)
by eavier on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 01:57:05 AM EST



Whatever you do, don't take it into your house. It's probably full of Greeks. - Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi

Ufology Doktor in da house

oh i missed the k5 womyn diary (none / 0) (#62)
by horseskin spacesuit on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 04:18:37 AM EST

my dupe is outed. i feel so dirty :(



This is quite literally the only computer I'm capable of not being offended by. ~ balsamic vinigga
I knew you'd never forgive me for that one (none / 0) (#64)
by B0sk on Tue Jan 08, 2008 at 09:00:02 AM EST



__________________
Wikipedia power structure (illustrated)
[ Parent ]
I found fewer stories than ever to comment on. (none / 0) (#65)
by frozenfruit on Wed Jan 09, 2008 at 03:43:47 AM EST



Let me just say re: Egil's Demise (1.66 / 3) (#66)
by Hiphopopotamus on Wed Jan 09, 2008 at 01:25:42 PM EST

I'm very proud of the way I took him out with a bang that was to be remembered. It made it so much more artful, instead of just fizzling away into boring nothingness. Also, I got IP banned, too, which was awesome and personally I think it takes character to achieve that kind of thing.
_________________

I'm In LOVE!

where's zen? (none / 1) (#68)
by zenofchai on Mon Jan 14, 2008 at 12:17:34 PM EST

baby zen is 15 months old now. i recorded sucky-quality recordings of my sucky songs performed by my sucky talents and have not had the lapse in sanity required to post them anywhere for the ridicule which is rightfully mine. MINE i tell you.

i've been playing a lot of ice hockey lately.

i dropped earthlink some months ago, so if you're looking for the k5 interactive political compass svg graph... it's still not settled on a new home. (all data was archived though.)

plans for this year: still hopeful to take my father and brothers for a hiking trip through the tetons. have to see if things work out w.r.t. the inclusion of baby zen #2.

turning 30 in a number of hours which is only barely 3 digits.
--
The K5 Interactive Political Compass SVG Graph

K5 2007: Teh Ghetto in Review | 68 comments (44 topical, 24 editorial, 0 hidden)
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