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[P]
Catflood, one year after

By lonelyhobo in Meta
Sat Aug 30, 2008 at 10:15:55 AM EST
Tags: year of the hobo, semicolons;, k5 is dead, long live k5 (all tags)

We're coming up on the one year mark of the "gated community" line that we were fed a year ago so that rusty wouldn't have to find a clever solution to the catflood.

Let's see how it worked.


I hate to draw a comparison between catflood and katrina, mainly because it's sure to get localroger in here acting like somehow being in a place where a hurricane hit makes him an authority on hurricanes, new orleans, katrina, the army corps of engineers, the gulf of mexico, and anything else he may be able to pronounce correctly, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway.

RUSTY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEO..err...Well you get my point.  K5 is whinier than ever, more inbred than two cousins out in the boonies, and generally just plain dead.  Yes, as we know, K5 has always been dead, but now stories go to the front page to die, they go to section to be stillborn, and the cancel bug stories have nearly been the best all year.

Catflood has stolen K5's heart-the innumerable mass of dupes.  There are no longer the one off joke accounts, the dupes you make to agree and 3 yourself, the dupes you make to act like you're canadian and some sort of writer or viking or something.  No, the best dupe fun on k5 in the last year has been figuring out who the fuck the hanged man was after insomnyuk gave it up.  That's some lame shit right there.

Let's go to the phoneslinks:

The announcement that rusty is too damn lazy to figure out how to add a captcha.  Interestingly enough, this also seems to coincide with the last time ogg frog was worked on.  I guess crawford can't work up the coder boner unless he can register a new dupe to post about ogg frog with.

The list of people who have paid for an account and subsequently posted a diary.  Right now, it's 17.  Less than two per month.  You count out the really lame obvious dupes and it's like 10.  Count out the spammers and it's like 8.  Interestingly, if you take the UID of the oldest member on that list, and compare it to the current newest member you get a difference of about 1600.  1600 accounts that paid and posted nothing, registered but never paid, or were automatically registered by spambots.  Nice.  Consider, however, that even if 1% (a percentage that I believe is lower than the number of people with aids in america) of these people were genuine posters who realized they'd have to pay and decided to say fuck it, we would've damn near doubled the number of people who registered and posted.

What conclusions are we to draw from this?  I don't really know, but here are my thoughts:

  • We are all idiots for posting here
  • remember war5aw? hahaha that shit went nowhere right
  • Seriously, What the fuck is wrong with us that we post here.  Do we actually like each other or something?  What the hell.
  • Jobst should be given the title of kuron imperator for life
  • and finally...REOPEN REGISTRATIONS AND ADD A CAPTCHA YOU DICKBAG

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Related Links
o The announcement
o the last time ogg frog was worked on
o The list of people
o current newest member
o Also by lonelyhobo


Display: Sort:
Catflood, one year after | 67 comments (61 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
rusty is like god (3.00 / 23) (#2)
by QuantumFoam on Wed Aug 27, 2008 at 09:33:44 PM EST

Absent and uncaring, popping in every few hundred years to say something cryptic or stupid. As with religion, a lot of money went his way, but there's not a lot to show for it.

Could the fall be likened to the incident that got images banned?

- Barack Obama: Because it will work this time. Honest!

we're on noah's ark, and the dupes have drowned $ (2.50 / 2) (#53)
by circletimessquare on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 05:03:43 PM EST



The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
WHY DO YOU HATE COLLABORATIVE MEDIA? $ (3.00 / 8) (#4)
by MichaelCrawford on Wed Aug 27, 2008 at 09:44:28 PM EST


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


See and I always thought that CMF stood for... (none / 0) (#8)
by undermyne on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 12:57:09 AM EST

CONTENT MOTHER FUCKER.

Have you returned to the land of the moderately sane? Did you get to keep your job?

GhostOfTiber - "I also changed Obama's religion to "nigger" on wikipedia, it doesn
[ Parent ]
yeah, things are going real well now. (none / 0) (#10)
by MichaelCrawford on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 01:14:46 AM EST

But I don't have much time to post as I'm trying to dig my way out of a very long to-do list.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


[ Parent ]

I'm glad you listened /nt (none / 0) (#16)
by MotorMachineMercenary on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 12:52:49 PM EST


--
It's hard to be humble when even Mr Bigballs rates me as #1 Kuro5hit.


[ Parent ]
I'm glad you glistened. nt (none / 0) (#66)
by glimmung on Mon Sep 22, 2008 at 06:52:29 PM EST



[ Parent ]
we've heard that before (3.00 / 4) (#35)
by rhiannon on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:15:36 PM EST

MC: Real Well Now©

-----------------------------------------
I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
[ Parent ]
Heh. Touche! (none / 0) (#39)
by MichaelCrawford on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:59:25 PM EST

You'll be happy to know that I can now see the floor in the vicinity of my filing cabinet.


--

Live your fucking life. Sue someone on the Internet. Write a fucking music player. Like the great man Michael David Crawford has shown us all: Hard work, a strong will to stalk, and a few fries short of a happy meal goes a long way. -- bride of spidy


[ Parent ]

a note on the numbers (none / 0) (#5)
by horny smurf on Wed Aug 27, 2008 at 10:20:27 PM EST

My statistics say there are 73227 accounts, 8617 of which have posted a diary (~11%). If that trend holds, the actual number of paid accounts would be closer to 170 (which would be about ~10% of the new accounts). Of course, a lot of the new accounts look like spam, so that number could be much lower.

I had to go dig and find this comment (none / 0) (#57)
by lonelyhobo on Sat Aug 30, 2008 at 01:26:36 PM EST

But about 4 months ago it was as 47

If it held at a constant rate, that would put it at about 70 for the year. Around 5%.

You've got to wonder who the fuck is paying for these regs and not posting?


[ Parent ]

When I first came here 50 months ago (3.00 / 8) (#6)
by rpresser on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 12:00:56 AM EST

the Front page looked something like this.

I didn't actually sign up for an account until later that year in August, but I was hooked. This stuff was fascinating. This was like every magazine I'd ever really enjoyed -- from Scientific American to Playboy (for the articles, of course) -- mashed up together on a single web page.  Plus all the fun of a BBS. (I was a big-time Citadel addict from 88-93.)

I got referred here by Wil Wheaton's blog; he tagged the link "Kuro5hin. People who THINK." It sure looked like that back then. Now, not so much.
------------
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty

So 50 months ago.. (1.22 / 9) (#7)
by undermyne on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 12:55:43 AM EST

were you only 300 pounds? Did you use less flour when fucking your wife? Did you fail less?

GhostOfTiber - "I also changed Obama's religion to "nigger" on wikipedia, it doesn
[ Parent ]
If you think that you're dumb (none / 1) (#12)
by Hiphopopotamus on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 08:45:36 AM EST


_________________

I'm In LOVE!
[ Parent ]

noam chomsky used to post here! (none / 0) (#36)
by rhiannon on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:18:11 PM EST

too legit.

-----------------------------------------
I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
[ Parent ]
I left this place five years ago (none / 1) (#38)
by muchagecko on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:46:06 PM EST

with all the other folks that saw the hideous decline.

I wish the old place was still here.

"Do you think Mr. Fantastic can stretch his dinky also? And do you think The Thing is hard all over? I mean really all over."
[ Parent ]

So true. (See sig.) (none / 0) (#56)
by Otto Surly on Sat Aug 30, 2008 at 01:02:17 PM EST

Rusty, if you're not interested in running the place... why not hand it off?

--
I can't wait to see The Two Towers. Man, that Legolas chick is hot.
[ Parent ]
Agreed (none / 0) (#60)
by anonimouse on Wed Sep 03, 2008 at 08:41:01 AM EST

Unfortunately when K5 lost segments of its audience, it became unbalanced. Someone needs to restart Adequacy if only to get the signal to noise ratio back up here.
~
Sleepyhel:
Relationships and friendships are complex beasts. There's nothing wrong with doing things a little differently.
[ Parent ]
You were all noise when you were here (none / 0) (#61)
by Zombie Schrodingers Cat on Wed Sep 03, 2008 at 08:14:37 PM EST

I thought I told you to SHUT THE FUCK UP last time you were here. Go back to husi or whatever rock you've been hiding under these last few years you fucking paedo.

[ Parent ]
There is only one interesting thing there (none / 0) (#49)
by ksandstr on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 12:24:01 PM EST

And that is turmeric's meta-troll. The rest is 80/20 dkos and husi, inane dribblings of angsty twentysomethings. Good riddance, I say.

The past sucks cock. Embrace the present moment.

Fin.
[ Parent ]

You might have a point (none / 0) (#50)
by rpresser on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 12:35:55 PM EST

if it weren't for the fact that the present moment sucks ass.
------------
"In terms of both hyperbolic overreaching and eventual wrongness, the Permanent [Republican] Majority has set a new, and truly difficult to beat, standard." --rusty
[ Parent ]
Come now (3.00 / 5) (#51)
by ksandstr on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 01:09:46 PM EST

K5 is one of the few websites where trolls aren't persecuted to the point where dissent is labeled trolling and ostracized. Yet ordinary, amusing content pops up from time to time.

If anything our standards have improved since the huggy-feelies left for husi, and the trolls moved in from Adequacy.

Fin.
[ Parent ]

Indeed (3.00 / 2) (#52)
by curien on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 01:41:04 PM EST

I thought about participating in another community, but they were engaged in a gigantic debate about the dangers of... rickrolling. Apparently, posting a link which forced you to close the browser was a perma-bannable offense.

Fuck that!

--
Murder your babies. -- R Mutt
[ Parent ]

grousing about k5 sucking or dying (1.69 / 13) (#9)
by circletimessquare on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 01:13:17 AM EST

is like grousing about the usa sucking or dying

it's a waste of time, has no real meaning, and no probative value

if, and when k5, or the usa, dies, you will be too busy doing something else to even notice

in the case of k5 dying, you will be registering your dupe account on diggfark.ru

in the case of the usa dying, you will trying to figure out how to open the plastic baggie the filter comes in and wondering in which direction to stick it in the gas mask

and in the case of the usa sucking, or k5 sucking:

PEOPLE WHO LOUDLY PROCLAIM THE FUCKING OBVIOUS ARE RETARDED


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

while i enjoy (3.00 / 9) (#11)
by lonelyhobo on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 06:02:22 AM EST

your blatant hypocrisy as much as the next guy, and there's something nicely recursive about using criticism to systematically bash criticism, and using "the fucking obvious" to impugn it, would you kindly take your worthless double-spaced garbage somewhere else?


[ Parent ]
Please use proper grammar and formatting please. (1.00 / 7) (#13)
by circletimessquare on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 09:04:15 AM EST

Your run on sentence, your splitting of the sentence between the title and the comment body, and your lack of capitalization of the first letter in your sentence: tut tut tut.

It is the mark of a regressive mind to not pay attention to the simple aspects of modern English grammar. While I appreciate your points and your sentiment, I think you will find in life that if you pay slightly more attention to how you present yourself, more people will inclined to listen to what you have to say.

Best of luck to you.


The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]

Fot. Kettle. Vlack. (3.00 / 2) (#14)
by Hiphopopotamus on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 10:26:43 AM EST


_________________

I'm In LOVE!
[ Parent ]

HUMORS DEPRIVEDZ L8LY? (1.00 / 11) (#15)
by circletimessquare on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 10:53:42 AM EST



The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[ Parent ]
Sought. Victuals. Lack. (none / 0) (#67)
by glimmung on Mon Sep 22, 2008 at 06:55:26 PM EST



[ Parent ]
The USA sucks (3.00 / 5) (#20)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 02:15:16 PM EST

Uncle Sam is dying of AIDS he caught fucking Lady Liberty! CODE PINK!

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne
[ Parent ]

WHY CAN I ONLY THREE THIS ONE TIME? $ (none / 0) (#40)
by debillitatus on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 12:22:09 AM EST


Damn you and your daily doubles, you brigand!
[ Parent ]

How nice of you (none / 1) (#29)
by Enlarged to Show Texture on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 10:21:56 PM EST

to talk about yourself that way


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -- Isaac Asimov
[ Parent ]
Spammers pay to post here? (none / 0) (#17)
by GhostOfTiber on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 01:36:37 PM EST

What's a War5aw?

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

where all the jews write their diaries? (3.00 / 2) (#34)
by rhiannon on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:13:36 PM EST



-----------------------------------------
I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
[ Parent ]
The Rise and Fall of the Fourth Reich (none / 0) (#18)
by alba on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 01:50:07 PM EST

Heil Rusty!

The solution I wrote about was (none / 0) (#19)
by sausalito on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 01:52:35 PM EST

having a larger number of people with power to temporarily hide content from one (catflooding) user until the few, largely absent admins show up and decide about banning or reinstating the user.

Did not have a lot of feedback from that, though.
_____________

GBH - "The whole point is that the App Store acts as a firewall between busy soccer moms and goatse links"

this is terrible (1.75 / 4) (#22)
by yellow shark on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 07:23:03 PM EST

not only does no one care about anything you have to say, but this is nonsensical and boring crap . your obsession with MichaelCrawford is pathological. You should seek medical attention for that.

this has to have hit the all time StupidFilter. In fact, the StupidFilter rates this crap...


Text is likely to be stupid.

...so in that regard, CONGRATULATIONS THERE IS CONSENSUS!

your comment is unintentionally funny (none / 0) (#23)
by lonelyhobo on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 07:34:15 PM EST

switch 'you' with 'i' in your comment

goddamned hilarious

[ Parent ]

edit the story so there is no (1.60 / 5) (#24)
by yellow shark on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 07:36:28 PM EST

content and not only would it be hilarious it might be somewhat intelligent, compared to what there is now.

I ROR'ed

[ Parent ]

wow (1.50 / 4) (#25)
by lonelyhobo on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 08:15:57 PM EST

you're a gibbering whiny fool.

Welcome home.

[ Parent ]

you are the one that posted (1.50 / 2) (#27)
by yellow shark on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 09:54:38 PM EST

whiney crap in the queue.

give it up and just wank yourself you seem to do that with no problem.

[ Parent ]

DID SOMEONE PISS ON U (2.00 / 3) (#42)
by Jobst of Moravia on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 02:24:15 AM EST


---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

[ Parent ]

also, goat brain recipes (1.50 / 4) (#26)
by livus on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 09:37:46 PM EST

It was a recipe for goat brains that made me really appreciate k5 and unless J1mmy finds something really special (yet instant) in the supermarket I don't think we will ever produce such a recipe again.

---
HIREZ substitute.
be concrete asshole, or shut up. - CTS
I guess I skipped school or something to drink on the internet? - lonelyhobo
I'd like to hope that any impression you got about us from internet forums was incorrect. - debillitatus
I consider myself trolled more or less just by visiting the site. HollyHopDrive

I decided war5aw wasnt worth it when i finally (1.66 / 3) (#30)
by The Hanged Man on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 10:53:38 PM EST

came to my senses and realized what a bunch of useless shitlickers many of you are.

-------------

Dificile est saturam non scribere - Juvenal
many? (none / 1) (#31)
by LilDebbie on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:04:46 PM EST

don't you mean all?

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
we're a team (3.00 / 2) (#33)
by rhiannon on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:12:15 PM EST

If one of us is a shitlicker, then all of us is shitlickers.

-----------------------------------------
I continued to rebuff the advances... so many advances... of so many attractive women. -MC
[ Parent ]
HIVEMIND $ (none / 0) (#37)
by LilDebbie on Thu Aug 28, 2008 at 11:31:57 PM EST



My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

[ Parent ]
HIVEMIND $ (3.00 / 2) (#45)
by A Bore on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 06:55:32 AM EST



[ Parent ]
JUST U (3.00 / 4) (#41)
by Jobst of Moravia on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 02:23:49 AM EST


---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

[ Parent ]

S/EMPERATOR/GOD EMPEROR (3.00 / 4) (#43)
by Jobst of Moravia on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 02:29:26 AM EST

ALSO IM NOT A KURON(EGRO)

---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

also big uppps my hoimie catfludder (3.00 / 6) (#44)
by Jobst of Moravia on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 02:30:34 AM EST

dont let this gay world jump out of a bush and suck ur cock without a struggle

---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

[ Parent ]

Sorry that position has already been filled (none / 0) (#62)
by God Emperor of Kuro5hin on Wed Sep 03, 2008 at 08:16:55 PM EST



[ Parent ]
that was worth $5? (none / 0) (#63)
by Jobst of Moravia on Thu Sep 04, 2008 at 02:48:56 AM EST


---
              __
   .,-;-;-,. /'_\ ---Did this Negro say "Street Moor"?
 _/_/_/_|_\_\) /
'-<_><_><_><_>=\
 `/_/====/_/-'\_\
  ""     ""    ""

[ Parent ]

Your inability to think four-dimensionally amuses (none / 0) (#64)
by God Emperor of Kuro5hin on Thu Sep 04, 2008 at 04:40:28 PM EST

me.

[ Parent ]
+1 fp, tl; dr (none / 0) (#46)
by GrubbyBeardedHermit on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 09:43:12 AM EST


GBH

+1 jobst (none / 1) (#48)
by BottleRocket on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 11:20:39 AM EST


$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
$ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $
. . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . * . . . . . *
. ₩ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$ . . . . . $ . . . . . $ . . . . . $
$B R Σ III$

I AM K5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (none / 1) (#54)
by CodeWright on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 08:32:19 PM EST

SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

--
A: Because it destroys the flow of conversation.
Q: Why is top posting dumb? --clover_kicker

Not gonna happen (3.00 / 4) (#55)
by localroger on Fri Aug 29, 2008 at 10:22:02 PM EST

You know all those jokes about yachts and monacle polish?

I've seen the yacht. It's gonna take a LOT of work. LOTS of work. Not to mention the house, which has a really beautiful bathroom and outside of that a lot of exposed beams and work to do.

Rusty has shit to do that isn't us. I've gotten over it.

Get over it.

And that is what is so great about the internet. It enables pompous blowhards to connect with other pompous blowhards in a vast circle jerk of pomposity

Ugh, this axe in my head really hurts. (3.00 / 2) (#58)
by Pikachu with an Axe in his Head on Sat Aug 30, 2008 at 01:33:58 PM EST

If only I had some Kuro5hin to ease the pain!

There is a way to fix the activity problems... (none / 0) (#59)
by 7h3647h32in6 on Mon Sep 01, 2008 at 10:56:25 AM EST

...we could just do our part and advertise k5 a bit.

There is a lot of great content on here.

Thanks Rusty! (none / 0) (#65)
by My Dupe Account on Wed Sep 10, 2008 at 05:34:39 PM EST

Hey! I've gotten laid, like, a whole shitload of times by increasingly more beautiful women since I stopped giving a rat's ass about K5. Running K5 into ground is the best thing anyone's ever done for me!

--

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes."
Catflood, one year after | 67 comments (61 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
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