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Sex Diaries of an Ogg Frog Developer

By horny smurf in Meta
Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 10:12:38 AM EST
Tags: gay4crawford, oggfrog magazine #1, k5 classics, copypasta (all tags)

Usually when somebody dies, friends and family join together to mourn the loss of a loved one, each participant wanting to give someone who was important to them in life the appropriate send-off into death. Such was not the case when Michael Crawford died in his middle age, leaving behind only a trail of unfulfilled dreams and a bitter ex-wife.

As his next-of-kin, Bonita felt obliged to clean out his apartment. She spent the better part of the morning shifting dusty old boxes around and cleaning up various detritus. Most of the boxes contained stacks upon stacks of free CDs, the kind that Crawford would give out to anyone who would take them. He fancied himself an artist, though he was never able to convince anyone to pay him for his work.


One box stood out to Bonita, however; it was heavier than the others, and looked like it had been opened recently. When Bonita opened its dusty flaps, she found a stack of notebooks. Opening one, she was greeted by a full-sized sketch of an erect penis, poised to penetrate an eager-looking vagina. The top of the page was emblazoned, "Diary, 2009". After some hesitation, an embarassed Bonita began reading the first page of text.
I went over to Delores' place today. Her boyfriend was out, so I stuffed it (my huge cock) into her pooper...
Bonita's face was warm with embarrassment, as was her increasingly wet crotch. She continued reading:
After that, I pulled my dick straight out of her ass and made her suck on it. She looked kind of disgusted by it, but that only made my shlong harder. I then enjoyed fucking her face until I came so hard my semen dribbled out of her nose. There's nothing I enjoy more than humiliating a female acquantance with my long, thick cock.
Bonita recalled Crawford's dick fondly; she didn't know its exact dimension, but it was long enough to give her cervix a hard pounding, and thick enough to stretch her vagina almost painfully. But Crawford had never shown this side to her; he had always been respectful and loving, almost feminine. He had never treated her like a sex object; if she had known he was such a freak, she might have reconsidered the divorce. The diary continued:
I spent the rest of the day up until lunch hard at work writing code. By 3PM I had managed to churn out 20 lines of code. Figuring I had done my share of work for the day, I went down to the local coffee shop. The waitress I fancy was working today. Having followed her back to her home one day, I had taken some photos of her from the bushes while she was getting dress. Having thoroughly exhausted their jerk value, I decided to take advantage to obtain a sexual encounter.

I noticed the waitress leaving for a bathroom break and followed her quietly and then pushed her into the stall. I shut her up by jamming my dick into her mouth and showed her the pictures. I told her if she didn't let me fuck her, I would send copies of the photos to her friends and family. Her eyes filling with tears, she began fellating my penis and licking my balls.

Pushing her up against the side of the stall, I pulled her pants down and parted her buttocks, then stuck my middle finger up her tight, tight asshole. She react with shock and discomfort, which only make me want to stretch her asshole open even more. After spitting on my dick a few times, I pressed my tip up against her anus. Her sphincter twitched nervously as I teased it with my prick. Then, I began pushing inside her, her face filled with uncertainty and distress. Soon I was comfortably fucking her ass, which was by the way much tighter than Delores'.
By now Bonita had two fingers slopping around inside her vagina as she read the diary. It continued:
I grabbed onto her head and pressed it hard against the side of the stall and spanked her ass hard as I fucked her. When it was time to come, I pulled out of her sore, gaping asshole and deliberately came all over her uniform. I then slapped her in the face with my cock a few times and left.
Bonita came hard, making a thorough mess of her panties and inner thigh. She wiped herself up with a few kleenexes, and put the diary back in the box. After putting the box aside on its own to keep, she went back to the business of cleaning up Michael's shitty apartment.

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Sex Diaries of an Ogg Frog Developer | 22 comments (16 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
first vote!!! (3.00 / 9) (#1)
by I Did It All For The Horse Cock on Tue Feb 22, 2011 at 05:27:25 PM EST

OH YEAH FUCK YOU EVERYBODY


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+1FP, Important to the historical record $ (3.00 / 3) (#2)
by schlouse on Tue Feb 22, 2011 at 06:54:22 PM EST



+1fp i came (none / 1) (#3)
by LilDebbie on Tue Feb 22, 2011 at 08:19:30 PM EST

god damn motherfucking half-melted/refrozen cunt bitch snow bank

My name is LilDebbie and I have a garden.
- hugin -

My only regret is that my vote wasn't the one that (3.00 / 4) (#5)
by modus on Tue Feb 22, 2011 at 09:25:16 PM EST

pushed this to the FP.

Ubblabumptuous! (none / 1) (#8)
by Pnarp on Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 07:41:57 AM EST

This is the most ubblabumptuously efflubious piece of writing I've ever come across! Not even I, in my infinite egotism, could have come up with something this paternostically filibusterous. (And most of what I come up with, if it's not full of mirth and alabaster, is quite filibusterous, mind you!)

∼ Phillip Norbert Årp
Powered by the love of the voluptuous insect goddess, Strahazazhia Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps, She of the six-legged delights.


✿✿✿ Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page! ✿✿✿
   ❝It’s docile! It’s perfunctory! It’s phlogistically fantastical! But… is it one of those blog things?❞
    All wrights preserved. No purchase estuary. Lawn gnomes not included. You won’t be disconcerted. Deployed where prohibited by snore.

❤   Pnårp learned this week that the world was still here. Will it ever end?

[ Current entry | Random entry ]
a cat in a hat, (3.00 / 2) (#13)
by Chino Ginelli on Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 04:48:08 PM EST

pummelling you with a brickbat.
_____
"Can you recommend a Chino vendor?" - MichaelCrawford, Nov 2008

"[President Obama] likes em a little loose but not saggy. He likes a wool and cashmere blend. He rolls with an inch and a quarter cuff." - tdillo, Nov 2008

"I think they look sharp. But it's important that they be pressed, or at least hung properly, so as to maintain the crease." - MichaelCrawford, Sep 2009

"I find a bit of well-cut tailoring quite hot." - TDS, Jun 2010

[ Parent ]
But the question remains... (none / 0) (#16)
by Pnarp on Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 08:26:17 PM EST

But the question remains: How much wood wouldn't a Wundtchuck chuck if a Wundtchuck wouldn't chuck wood?

∼ Phillip Norbert Årp
Powered by the love of the voluptuous insect goddess, Strahazazhia Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps, She of the six-legged delights.


✿✿✿ Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page! ✿✿✿
   ❝It’s docile! It’s perfunctory! It’s phlogistically fantastical! But… is it one of those blog things?❞
    All wrights preserved. No purchase estuary. Lawn gnomes not included. You won’t be disconcerted. Deployed where prohibited by snore.

❤   Pnårp learned this week that the world was still here. Will it ever end?

[ Current entry | Random entry ]
[ Parent ]
restraining order against posting on k5? (none / 1) (#9)
by horny smurf on Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 08:15:30 AM EST



dont know, but what's the status of oggfroggmag? $ (3.00 / 2) (#12)
by nateo on Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 11:03:46 AM EST



--
"I'm so gonna travel the world, photographing my dick at every location."
  - Vampire Zombie Abu Musab al Zarqawi
haven't been checking the queue much lately (none / 1) (#15)
by cockskin horsesuit on Wed Feb 23, 2011 at 08:11:36 PM EST

lo and behold this made it to FP before I spotted it.

so I'll give this +1FP nunc pro tunc. You dun made Bonita proud with this badly-written (how does a vagina LOOK eager?) but perfectly entertaining bit of topical filth.

Stuff like this.... (none / 0) (#18)
by k31 on Fri Mar 04, 2011 at 08:42:04 PM EST

...is why I can no longer read K5 from work :P


Your dollar is you only Word, the wrath of it your only fear. He who has an EAR to hear....
Stuff like this... (none / 1) (#19)
by Pnarp on Sun Mar 06, 2011 at 09:46:37 PM EST

...Puts the "punch" in "donkey punch."

I salute you, sir. In fact I salute all over you.

∼ Phillip Norbert Årp
Powered by the love of the voluptuous insect goddess, Strahazazhia Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps, She of the six-legged delights.


✿✿✿ Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page! ✿✿✿
   ❝It’s docile! It’s perfunctory! It’s phlogistically fantastical! But… is it one of those blog things?❞
    All wrights preserved. No purchase estuary. Lawn gnomes not included. You won’t be disconcerted. Deployed where prohibited by snore.

❤   Pnårp learned this week that the world was still here. Will it ever end?

[ Current entry | Random entry ]
Clearly this is K5s (none / 1) (#20)
by GhostOfTiber on Mon Mar 07, 2011 at 07:40:49 PM EST

contribution to archive.org by which future generations will know us.

[Nimey's] wife's ass is my cocksheath. - undermyne

:P (none / 1) (#21)
by garote on Sat Mar 12, 2011 at 03:24:54 PM EST

Yep, good ol' copypasta.  Never fails to bore.

Michael David Crawford (none / 1) (#22)
by HackerCracker on Sun Mar 20, 2011 at 11:25:14 PM EST

He was truly an American icon.

Ka-whad-ya? (none / 0) (#23)
by thiswillbegreat on Thu Sep 01, 2011 at 05:24:22 PM EST

Getting to this after the fact, I have absolutely no idea what's going on here.
Semper ubi sub ubi.
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Sex Diaries of an Ogg Frog Developer | 22 comments (16 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
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