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kuro5hin's Membership Fees Are a Good Thing

By messybuu in Meta
Sat Jan 14, 2012 at 11:42:45 AM EST
Tags: k5, meta (all tags)
k5

Welcome, new readers, to kuro5hin, the online blog with a classic Web 1.0 style. Whether you visited the site because of its stimulating articles on SOPA and the Fat Acceptance Movement or the thought-provoking diary entires, we welcome you to our humble community.  As you might have already figured out, this is an exclusive community that charges a one-time membership fee of $5. This might upset some of you and give the impression that we kuro5hiners (as we like to call ourselves) are elitists, but know that there is method to our madness, and the $5 membership fee, also known as the paywall, is for the benefit of the entire kuro5hin community.


The paywall keeps trolling to a minimum. Let's be honest: Trolling is a problem on the Internet. In fact, people have even died because of trolling! We don't want such abuse to occur on the Internet; God forbid any of our lovely members ever kill themselves. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to prevent trolls from harassing online communities. There is one guaranteed way to combat trolls though: Charge a membership fee. No troll would bother to spend $5 to harass our community. The membership fee ensures that only serious, mature individuals sign up. It's hard to believe that a humble website such as kuro5hin could vanquish trolling, but as you have probably already seen, trolling is not a problem in our community.

Membership fees keep advertisement to a minimum. Nowadays, most sites try to trick you into clicking on advertisements. They even go so far as to split 500-word articles into 5 different pages. They also violate your online privacy with cookies. Not kuro5hin though. Its advertisements are barely noticeable. In fact, kuro5hin revolutionized text ads before there ever was a Google! And, unlike Google, kuro5hin has preserved its original look and has not cluttered its design with junk. How could a website sustain itself without annoying popups, cookies, and spam? Membership fees.

Membership fees allow the site to grow. Even a site that spits in the face of progress as kuro5hin must grow. Its founder, http://www.kuro5hin.org/user/uid:50429, has big plans for the site, including establishing it as the center of a collaborative media foundation. The CMF would allow kuro5hin to reach more readers than it already does and even establish a presence in the mainstream media! However, such ambitions require a lot of money, as much as it would cost to buy a yacht! Advertisement money, especially with ads as modest as kuro5hin, would never be able to cover the costs. Only with membership fees are these plans for kuro5hin's future possible.

Hopefully that convinces you that $5 is a bargain for an online community as intimate and thought-provoking as ours. Far from elitist, we are actually some of the friendliest people you will meet on the Internet. We embrace all walks of life and intelligently discuss our controversial opinions rather than flame each other as is so often the case on other forums. You can be a part of our mature community for the price of one grande vanilla bean frappuccino with soy milk and no whip cream!

What are you waiting for? Join kuro5hin today!

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Poll
What is your favorite part of kuro5hin?
o The intellectual articles 40%
o The enlightening diaries 36%
o The wacky debuggers 31%
o The silly weddings 40%
o The foolish kings 36%
o The jolly Brits 40%
o The sexy runners 31%
o The sensual writers 27%
o The perverted Asians 50%
o The hairy Libertarians 27%
o The retarded trannies 9%
o The massive horsecocks 54%
o WIPO (Write-In Poll Option) 13%

Votes: 22
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Kuro5hin
o Google
o SOPA
o Fat Acceptance Movement
o thought-pr ovoking diary entires
o died because of trolling
o http://www .kuro5hin.org/user/uid:50429
o collaborat ive media foundation
o Also by messybuu


Display: Sort:
kuro5hin's Membership Fees Are a Good Thing | 17 comments (11 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
Wipo: MDC fanfics$ (none / 1) (#4)
by mirko on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 02:32:56 AM EST


--
Finally I managed to make the decision that I would work on it. - MDC
we had to huddle together - trane
WELCOME TO CRAWFORDTUBE N00BS (3.00 / 2) (#6)
by N0574 on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 10:00:07 AM EST



- NCCTG N0574 CANCER PROTOCOL
Question (none / 1) (#7)
by tdillo on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 10:56:55 AM EST

Does new user signup even work? I thought the email was fucked up so you couldn't even sign up or send $5.

Seemed to me we were in the web equivalent of those landlocked ponds that are slowly drying up and the only ones left were the hoary survivors that found themselves a deep space under a log. Still just a matter of time till we're all bones bleaching in the sun.

I may not agree with what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to go fuck yourself.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

email is working again # (none / 1) (#11)
by king of fools on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 01:21:20 PM EST


----------------

fade out again

[ Parent ]
How can you say we spit in the face of progress? (3.00 / 2) (#8)
by BottleRocket on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 11:07:05 AM EST

NO! Appreciating text-based content is not the same as luddism. We just prefer the clean look of a minimal site. Just like my sig. I would also suggest that images cluttering up the site would invite trolling, which we are diametrically opposed to. In general I agree with most of your points, but I must take exception here.

In general your article will encourage all our new users to take an active interest in our online community. It should also be pointed out that another important feature of kuro5hin is the way we can uniquely contribute to the topics of the day. Our 36 hour posting threshold limit means that all the latest current events and opinion content is on the front page, keeping the site fresh and up-to-date with the news cycle.

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Yes I do download [child pornography], but I don't keep it any longer than I need to, so it can yield insight as to how to find more. --MDC
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$B R Σ III$

Text-Based Content Really Is What Most Users Want (1.00 / 6) (#10)
by Zombie Jesus Christ on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 11:13:01 AM EST

That is my own experience with the SEO for my own sites, as well as Jakob Nielsen, which you may be surprised to hear commands immense consulting fees designing the UI of big corporate websites.

--
Mike Crawford for Clark County Commissioner
District 1 North County
mike@communard.org

Paid for by The Communard Party of Washington State


[ Parent ]
Next Up: (none / 1) (#9)
by Zombie Jesus Christ on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 11:11:08 AM EST

How To Score Anonymous Sex In Tea Rooms And Swing Clubs.

--
Mike Crawford for Clark County Commissioner
District 1 North County
mike@communard.org

Paid for by The Communard Party of Washington State


I AM SHOCKED RUSTY VOTED THIS UP (none / 0) (#13)
by greengrass on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 09:02:33 PM EST



FACE IT! I AM THE FUTURE! (none / 0) (#14)
by messybuu on Fri Jan 13, 2012 at 09:43:45 PM EST


Sent from Siri using my iPhone 4S. Buy one today!

Powered by the love of Christ.


[ Parent ]
+1FP ROCK HARD NO HOMOE (none / 0) (#16)
by schlouse on Sat Jan 14, 2012 at 02:44:23 AM EST



It killed the site (none / 0) (#17)
by Corwin06 on Thu Feb 16, 2012 at 01:54:17 AM EST

It was already pretty dead, sure, but we haven't seen anything good being posted ever since the paywall went up.

Roger's articles on Plants and Casinos, Keith Henson's theory on the origin of war, Bee Guy's howtos, not that they were interesting, but at least that was serious content, even that troll MMM's car projects reports. Fuck, I'd rather have articles about anal masturbation than constant trolling - THIS HAS BECOME WORSE THAN 4CHAN FOR FUCKS SAKE! Even their GAMERS get more SHIT DONE than this... constant stream of craziness from Crawford's army of dupes and the drivel spouted by the trolls meta-commenting on it all the time.

But yeah, I'm pissing in an ammonia factory by being somewhat reasonable on this site where there's nothing left but trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls

"and you sir, in an argument in a thread with a troll in a story no one is reading in a backwater website, you're a fucking genius
--circletimessquare
kuro5hin's Membership Fees Are a Good Thing | 17 comments (11 topical, 6 editorial, 0 hidden)
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