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[P]
URGENT HELP NEEDED

By New Bottle Old Wine in Meta
Mon Apr 14, 2014 at 09:56:08 AM EST
Tags: (all tags)

Hello,

I am Public Barr. Neil Cane, an attorney of law to a deceased Process Architect, who was based in Salmon Creek, Washington, also referred to as my client.

On the 29th of March 2014, my client was arrested by corrupt Government Officials and charged with malicious mischief. He was killed in prison under suspicious circumstances and died due to rectal bleeding following sexual impalement.


Prior to that arrest and since then, I have been managing Mr Crawford's legal affairs here in Salmon Creek. I have contacted you initially to assist me in retaining the estate left behind by my client; this is to prevent his property from reverting to the state. By Washington law, ownership of unattended property will automatically revert back to the government treasury. However, the legal procedure to activate this takes about three months, of which there are just about two months left.

The prison has recently issued me a notice to provide details of any of Mr Crawford's next of kin within a short period of time, this thereby triggers off the procedure of reverting ownership of the property to the government. My Late client's MacBook Pro has a collection of over fifteen million, five hundred thousand (15.5m) pornographic images. Additionally, there are over fifty (50)

    FREE CDs
and over two hundred fifty (250) essays for humanity, which, aside from the obvious edits and spelling corrections, he considered his finest work.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating any relatives of my late client; and with the prison indicating that they now wish to shortly start the procedure of reversion of ownership to the state, I now seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased, so that the property can be given to you. And then you in turn can send me my share of the property. The ratio for the sharing of the funds will be fifty per cent (50%) to me, forty per cent (40%) to you, and ten per cent (10%) for miscellaneous expenses that might arise. I have all the necessary information that will be used to back up any claim we may make.

All I require is your honest co-operation and confidentiality to enable us sees this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Trust me, as Mr Crawford's attorney; this is a risk-free transaction. Please send me your full names, address, and your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss this matter further.

I very much look forward to a swift response from you.

Kindest regards,

Public Barr. Neil Cane

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URGENT HELP NEEDED | 6 comments (6 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
let's throw him overboard (3.00 / 4) (#1)
by sye on Sat Apr 12, 2014 at 03:18:07 PM EST

for all the fishes.

problem solved.

http://www.kuro5hin.org/comments/2014/4/11/174813/435/14#14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
commentary - For a better sye@K5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ripple me ~~> ~allthingsgo: gateway to Garden of Perfect Brightess in CNY/BTC/LTC/DRK
rubbing u ~~> ~procrasti: getaway to HE'LL
Hey! at least he was in a stable relationship. - procrasti
enter K5 via Blastar.in

I propose a statue in HIS Honor (3.00 / 4) (#3)
by tdillo on Sat Apr 12, 2014 at 08:17:15 PM EST

What we do is cast him in cement with an hidden antenna in his arm. Hook him up outside of a Starbucks where he can provide free WiFi to the masses.

It would be similar to the Statue of Liberty with the inscription,

Give me your Cold & Hungry, your huddled masses
yearning to drink free
creamer

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, tempest tost to me,
so I may teach them C

I shall lift my lamp Real Soon Now.
I just have one or two bugs  . . .

"It seems like to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me." - Phil Robertson

[ Parent ]

you mean a mermeid statue with a penis ? (3.00 / 2) (#4)
by sye on Sat Apr 12, 2014 at 09:00:25 PM EST

that's gross.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
commentary - For a better sye@K5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ripple me ~~> ~allthingsgo: gateway to Garden of Perfect Brightess in CNY/BTC/LTC/DRK
rubbing u ~~> ~procrasti: getaway to HE'LL
Hey! at least he was in a stable relationship. - procrasti
enter K5 via Blastar.in
[ Parent ]

Sounds Legit (3.00 / 6) (#2)
by tdillo on Sat Apr 12, 2014 at 07:58:48 PM EST

One question, who gets custody of the Body Lice?

"It seems like to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me." - Phil Robertson

the unfortuante customers of (3.00 / 2) (#6)
by Del Griffith on Sun Apr 13, 2014 at 10:32:55 AM EST

what a burger or whatever it was

-------
I...I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. Because I'm the real article. What you see is what you get. - Me


[ Parent ]

Blastar BE GONE is here and now (none / 0) (#7)
by sye on Fri May 23, 2014 at 02:22:23 PM EST

what happened? has MDC driven him BAD as hell?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
commentary - For a better sye@K5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ripple me ~~> ~allthingsgo: gateway to Garden of Perfect Brightess in CNY/BTC/LTC/DRK
rubbing u ~~> ~procrasti: getaway to HE'LL
Hey! at least he was in a stable relationship. - procrasti
enter K5 via Blastar.in

URGENT HELP NEEDED | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
Display: Sort:

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