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Monkeys invade Delhi government

By spiralx in MLP
Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 10:04:59 AM EST
Tags: News (all tags)
News

Government officials in the Indian capital Delhi have found themselves under attack from aggressive attacks by at least 10,000 monkeys who enter their offices, steal food, threaten the officials and destroy valuable documents. It's gotten so bad that many employees have armed themselves with sticks and stones in case they are attacked.


Unfortunately because the monkey is a sacred symbol in India's main religion, Hinduism, killing the animals is not an option, and capturing them and shipping them elsewhere is also problematical because of over-population problems elsewhere in India.

So far, there have been relatively few fatalies, including a man who was killed by a flower pot that had been pushed off of a building onto a 48 year old man by a monkey on the roof. However, who knows what will happen next?

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o aggressive attacks by at least 10,000 monkeys
o killed by a flower pot
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Monkeys invade Delhi government | 15 comments (12 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
Not meaning to be facetious... (3.66 / 3) (#1)
by Kyrrin on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 05:51:27 AM EST

...but this takes the cake for "bad working conditions". And I thought I had it bad because it was always freezing in the machine room! *grin*


"I'm the screen, the blinding light; I'm the screen, I work at night. I see today with a newsprint fray, my night is colored headache grey, don't wake me with so much..." -- REM
As seen on.. (4.00 / 2) (#2)
by driph on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 06:15:20 AM EST

Here's the Yahoo version of the story, courtesy of nterface.net

Bizarre.

--
Vegas isn't a liberal stronghold. It's the place where the rich and powerful gamble away their company's pension fund and strangle call girls in their hotel rooms. - Psycho Dave
And there was I... (3.50 / 2) (#3)
by thomasd on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 06:40:42 AM EST

...thinking that monkeys in government offices came as a standard feature. Heigh ho. </tounge_firmly_in_cheek>

wow (3.00 / 2) (#4)
by drew irs on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 08:12:44 AM EST

that's amazing, the thought of all of these people in their offices fighting monkeys, engaging in rear-guard actions in which anyone that falls has to be left to the monkeys!!! i mean, it just goes to show how precarious our control over nature really is!! i mean, i've been attacked by an angry chipmunk once, but that probably wasn't much like being chased by angry monkeys howling for blood and bananas, i mean i just kicked the chipmunk and it went flying, you wouldn't want to kick a monkey!!

has anyone else been attacked by wild animals? really, really angry ones??

drew

10,000 Monkeys - you know what they need? (3.66 / 3) (#5)
by nospoon on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 08:12:45 AM EST

10,000 Typewriters!

Then the monkeys can make the laws!

Oh, wait ... Nevermind.


'Desire that is Friday'
Already Done (4.00 / 2) (#6)
by greyrat on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 08:19:21 AM EST

In case you hadn't seen it...

The Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite (IMPS)
~ ~ ~
Did I actually read the article? No. No I didn't.
"Watch out for me nobbystyles, Gromit!"

[ Parent ]
yep (4.00 / 2) (#8)
by nospoon on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 08:40:42 AM EST

That was what I was eluding too... :)


'Desire that is Friday'
[ Parent ]
Deja vu. (5.00 / 2) (#10)
by Phil the Canuck on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 09:09:54 AM EST

barging into government offices, stealing food, threatening bureaucrats and even ripping apart valuable documents.
Hmmm, I think I used to work for that monkey.

------

I don't think being an idiot comes with a pension plan though. Unless you're management of course. - hulver

I don't know... (4.00 / 1) (#12)
by MrMikey on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 09:39:54 AM EST

it sounds like government as usual to me. Granted, the monkeys we have in our government usually steal money rather than food, but ours also threaten the officials and destroy valuable documents.

Here's a solution: dump a bunch of food at a place somewhat near the government buildings - attract the monkeys there. Oh, and don't allow anyone to bring food into the building. If food is what brings them there, food can take them elsewhere as well.

This is just too funny to go into a section only! (none / 0) (#13)
by RangerBob on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 09:44:32 AM EST

It kind of reminds me of the story about the guy who had 100 monkeys and the problems he had ;)

And I don't think it's fair to equate government bureaucrats to monkeys. They monkeys can at least be trained to do something useful! ;)

where are the PowerPuff Girls?? (5.00 / 2) (#14)
by chopper on Wed Jan 10, 2001 at 05:12:50 PM EST

i'll bet Mojo Jojo is behind this!

c'mon, crazed monkeys?

give a man a fish,he'll eat for a day

give a man religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish

He WILL let the monkeys loose. (3.00 / 2) (#15)
by driph on Thu Jan 11, 2001 at 01:07:38 AM EST

Mr. Lewis(Dave): Monkeys are in here. Think I'll let 'em out.

[Dave opens the door a bit and light pours from behind it, a la the Ark of the Covenant in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' We hear the howls of monkeys before Dave closes the door again.]

Mr. Lewis: [laughs] I was kidding. I wouldn't wish the monkeys on my worst enemy. These aren't cute monkeys. Nah. These are like those damn monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz"... only they ain't got no wings... and they smell bad... these are vicious, mean-spirited monkeys.

...

Mr. Lewis: People think I have got the power cause I've got the monkeys. Nope. I've got the power because I'll let the monkeys loose... They don't understand......



Looks like he let the monkeys out.
(From KITH:The Monkeys)

--
Vegas isn't a liberal stronghold. It's the place where the rich and powerful gamble away their company's pension fund and strangle call girls in their hotel rooms. - Psycho Dave
Monkeys invade Delhi government | 15 comments (12 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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