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Prototype of US National ID Card Unveiled

By Carnage4Life in MLP
Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 10:37:48 PM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

Since the events of September 11th 2001, Oracle's CEO Larry Ellison has been pitching a National ID card system. This system is supposed to contain all the information on all the inhabitants of the United States stored in Oracle premier database systems. Many have wondered how a national ID card system would have prevented the tragic events of September 11th, with any luck the unveiling of the current prototype of will clear up any misconceptions. Click the link below for a glimpse of the future:

OraCard™


Hopefully the appearance of this prototype will allay fears that the card will be a useless expense that does nothing to prevent someone hell bent on killing lots of people from taking such action yet will be open to abuse and used to target certain segments of American society.

Not to be outdone by this massive outburst of corporate patriotism, Scott Mcneally the CEO of Sun Microsystems has also endorsed the National ID card system as long as the ID cards are Java smart cards.

Such patriotism is touching indeed, I especially like the quote "Absolute anonymity breeds absolute irresponsibility,...We need a thumbprint Java card in the hand of everybody in the country." .

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Poll
Larry Ellison's National ID card proposal is...
o ...a good idea 1%
o ...a bad idea 14%
o ...a shameless, opportunistic and self interested attempt to capitalize off of tragic national events 64%
o ...an idea that has merit but might be abused if care is not taken 12%
o ...better than anything Microsoft could have come up with 7%

Votes: 56
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Larry Ellison has been pitching a National ID card system
o OraCard&tr ade;
o endorsed the National ID card system as long as the ID cards are Java smart cards
o Also by Carnage4Life


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Prototype of US National ID Card Unveiled | 12 comments (9 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
Geee (3.50 / 2) (#2)
by mofospork on Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 04:50:59 PM EST

That retinal picture is swell. "Sir, please look ahead. I have to compare your retina with the one on your ID."

After looking at the page a little closer this looks like it's a parody:

Of course, that's only the front of the card. On the fanfolds on the back there is:
  • ID Card Key: 34sdf898dfsadasdfDFSD844dd-4343-g*K
  • Aliases: Larry Ellison, God
  • Passport #: 1231231231
  • E-mail: larry.ellison@aol.com, le756@aol.com, anon755k@anon.penet.fi
  • Password: breasts
  • Ancestry: DNA is 61% Semitic


And... (3.00 / 1) (#3)
by mofospork on Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 04:53:04 PM EST

Click on that "Other amusing graphics and articles" link at the bottom. You get this.

[ Parent ]
Quick question... (5.00 / 3) (#4)
by SvnLyrBrto on Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 04:59:48 PM EST


>E-mail: larry.ellison@aol.com, le756@aol.com,
>anon755k@anon.penet.fi

Didn't anon.penet.fi get declared "fair game", and harassed (sued) into the ground by the hubbie's little cult, YEARS AGO?

I wonder how old this joke is? Certianly *I* have run across no anon.penet.fi addresses in quite some time.


cya,
john

Imagine all the people...
[ Parent ]

anon.penet.fi (5.00 / 2) (#11)
by WWWWolf on Mon Oct 22, 2001 at 05:43:31 PM EST

Didn't anon.penet.fi get declared "fair game", and harassed (sued) into the ground by the hubbie's little cult, YEARS AGO?

I wonder how old this joke is? Certianly *I* have run across no anon.penet.fi addresses in quite some time.

Short summary: Scientology did sue them, the local police did grant a search warrant; They found out what the real sender's address was, but it later turned out that it was just a cobwebby, long unused account in an university. Someone had hijacked the account and posted anonymously something to a.r.s.

Julf Helsingius decided that this was enough, the thing is dangerous and the legality situation of the server needs to be clarified. The server then refused to take more new accounts. Old accounts were still working for some time to send mail to (in case people absolutely needed to contact people behind aliases).

Then the spammers came.

You can guess the rest of the story.

BTW, Larry's anon.penet.fi address is invalid. all anon.penet.fi addresses were in form anXXXXXX@anon.penet.fi.

-- Weyfour WWWWolf, a lupine technomancer from the cold north...


[ Parent ]
THANK YOU (none / 0) (#12)
by SvnLyrBrto on Mon Oct 22, 2001 at 06:23:36 PM EST

I was assuming from the three "5" ratings that my recollection was right, or at least pretty damn close. I just couldn't remember many of the details.

Thanks for filling me in!


cya,
john

Imagine all the people...
[ Parent ]

parody (5.00 / 2) (#8)
by Arkady on Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 05:51:03 PM EST

Oh, it's definitely parodic.

In case you didn't know, Brad Templeton (whose site that is) is the current Chair of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. He's obviously getting into the "fighting stupid ideas with ridicule" mode here. ;-)

-robin

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere Anarchy is loosed upon the world.


[ Parent ]
Why what McNealy wants shouldn't count (5.00 / 6) (#5)
by crank42 on Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 05:11:45 PM EST

My favourite among the linked McNealy quotes is, "I'm tired of the outrage. If you get on a plane, I want to know who you are. If you rent a crop duster, I want to know who you are."

To this, I can only say, "Too bad." That others want to know something about you is not enough to show that they should be free to know it. It appears that the terms under which we are to live together are moving from, "Your right to throw punches ends at my nose," to, "Your rights end at my fear." The problem with these (yes, I'm going to say it) fascistic appeals to law and order is that they never have a real procedure for watching the watchmen. No matter what you think of Stallman's license policies, his re-iteration of the ancient Roman question is not something we should ignore.

All over, simple traditional legal rights, such as the right to silence, are being undermined. Much of the reasoning is misinformed or lousy, and there is only one way to stop it: for those of us wealthy and likely-to-vote enough to make noise about it. It is just wrong for us to forsake all of the civil liberties that have accumulated since the Magna Carta for the dubious peace of mind that identity cards and heavy-handed state control might offer.

A little reflection on the fate of the various police states of the past 50 years might do us some good right now. No matter how clever your scheme, you cannot prevent people from trying to undermine it. That's because no scheme can be perfectly automated: someone can always figure out a way to make the scheme fail to notice some new subversive activity. Therefore, unless you want two or three skilled watchers for every watched -- the perfect reductio if ever there was one -- you cannot have perfect security. Better, then, to build a society that doesn't have so many attackers. It's by no means impossible; why does it seem so to our leaders? What Sontag said is exactly right: "Who doubts that America is strong? But that's not all America has to be."

This makes the guy sound like a complete moron (none / 0) (#10)
by squigly on Mon Oct 22, 2001 at 07:25:32 AM EST

As I mentioned in an editorial comment - The other stupid comment was "Absolute anonymity breeds absolute irresponsibility". The obvious response to this is "No it doesn't". Its a totally stupid thing to say without at least something to back it up. You might as well say "blind mice lead to blinding headaches" for all the logic in that.

[ Parent ]
More plausible alternative... (4.50 / 2) (#7)
by kaemaril on Sun Oct 21, 2001 at 05:42:09 PM EST

I believe this is a more plausible alternative to Larry's proposed solution ;)


Why, yes, I am being sarcastic. Why do you ask?


Prototype of US National ID Card Unveiled | 12 comments (9 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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