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Slashdot story generator

By ucblockhead in MLP
Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 02:59:29 PM EST
Tags: Internet (all tags)

Tired of waiting for new stories to appear on slashdot? Maybe this will help:

The sometimes amusing bbspot has just put up a slashdot story generator. Sadly, it doesn't include autogenerated comments. Ah well....


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Slashdot story generator | 31 comments (28 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
Kozzomo is an AI? (4.00 / 5) (#1)
by Weezul on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:29:38 PM EST

I assume this Kossomo program running the thing is an AI like the postmodernism essay generator? Anyway, it would be really funny to set this thing up to submit stories to slashdot. If you set up a fay to fake links then you could really get slashdot to post some of these things. Who knows you might improve the editorial quality of slashdot.
"Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power." - Benito Mussolini
bbspot really hit it on the head (3.75 / 4) (#3)
by Vygramul on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:35:21 PM EST

This is too good to vote down. It's better than some of the Slashdot stories that are real. Certainly more entertaining. All it needs is a fake poll that has CmdrTaco as a poll option and you could hack the slashdot DNS and noone'd notice.
If Brute Force isn't working, you're not using enough.
Yucks to be had (3.75 / 4) (#5)
by 0xdeadbeef on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:35:38 PM EST

That's pretty funny, but the actual engine is pretty weak. It seems little more advanced than Mad-Libs® style phrase substitution. I'd like to see something more along the lines of the Postmodernism Generator.

I think I'm going to write the Anne Marie story generator...

Dumb, but.. (4.00 / 5) (#6)
by Seumas on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:36:50 PM EST

I'm tempted to vote this down, just because we've seen a zillion of these and they take the IQ of a shoelace to put together (fitting for bbspot, I guess). However, the following story title changed my mind and made me snicker:

Richard Stallman Says Focus Of Doubleclick Should Be Eradicating The AIDS Virus
I just read K5 for the articles.

and this one (4.00 / 1) (#11)
by spacejack on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:57:42 PM EST

Linux Developer Gets Laid

[ Parent ]
That answers THAT question! (3.00 / 2) (#8)
by jabber on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:52:44 PM EST

Now we know where "Anne Marie" gets his stories. ;)

[TINK5C] |"Is K5 my kapusta intellectual teddy bear?"| "Yes"

Cultural Sabotage (3.00 / 2) (#9)
by SIGFPE on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:55:06 PM EST

Excellent! I was going to write one myself but it looks like I've been beaten to it. I think the simplicity of the underlying engine - and the fact that it still works - says a lot about Slashdot. I'd like to see a few more sites like this that aren't so overtly humorous and see how many people can be duped.
Great stuff (2.25 / 4) (#10)
by DesiredUsername on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 01:57:00 PM EST

Sample output:

Transmeta Rewriting OSX In Python
Speculation On Napster Buying Doubleclick
Scientists Create Bioluminescent Guinea Pig

I'm not sure this is a "generator" though. The story text fits with the title too well. For instance, that last headline had this first sentence: "Scientists over in the UK have produced a guinea pig that glows in the dark. " That's a pretty good generator that saves the state from the point it chose "bioluminescent" to remember to use "glows in the dark" later.

Play 囲碁
Actually... (3.00 / 1) (#12)
by theboz on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 02:10:15 PM EST

It told me it was a bioluminescent caribou. I think it is partially random but has default stories that it chooses from.

[ Parent ]

Mad libs (3.00 / 1) (#20)
by kubalaa on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 09:08:03 PM EST

Ever play those? That's what this is. Not a bad idea.

[ Parent ]
scary (3.60 / 5) (#13)
by MotorMachineMercenary on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 02:16:57 PM EST

This (the generator) would be funnier if the stories it generates weren't so close to the real "stories" on slashdot.

My bodyweight is muscle and cock MMM
Tenured K5 uberdouchebag Herr mirleid
Meatgazer Frau gr3y

To mitigate your sadness (4.50 / 4) (#14)
by Pac on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 02:24:27 PM EST

Sadly, it doesn't include autogenerated comments

The Design of the Slashdot Comments Generator

The Slashdot Comment Generator (SCG) automatically fills a real or fake Slashdot story with suitable comments. The following sections describe some design ideas already developed.

Section I - Default Behavior

The SCG will generate the following comments by default:

a) First Post Comments
Nine "First Post" comments with the header
First Post (Score:-1,Offtopic)by Anonymous Coward on [$now](#2 to #10)"
will be generated and automatically moderated down to -1.

One "First Post" comments with the header
"Pirst Fost (Score:-1,Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on [$now](#1)"
will be generated and automatically moderated down to -1.

b) goatse.cx Comments
Three comments with harmless looking links that redirect to the goatse.cx page will be generated, at least one of then as an answer to a First Post comment. All will be moderated to "Troll"

c) Alerts to goatse.cx Comments
Two of the goatse.cx comments will have answers alerting to the fact that the URL is fake. All will be moderated to "Offtopic".

d)Natalie Portman, Hot Grits, Statue Nudeness Comments
A couple of comments about Ms. Portman, Hot Grits, Naked Statues (or a combination of them) will be genarated and moderated as "Offtopic"

e)A Beowulf Cluster of Whatever Comment
One Beowulf comment will be generated and moderated to either "Offtopic" or "+4, Funny"

f)Redundant Comments
A number between 10 and 20 comments basically rephrasing the post will be generated. Two thirds will be moderated "Redundant", the rest will moderated as either "Insightful" or "Informative".

Section II - On Topic Comments

All non-default comments will be generated feeding the Story Generator with the word in the generated story.

Evolution doesn't take prisoners

And (3.00 / 1) (#15)
by finial on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 02:37:45 PM EST

You forgot the penis bird and the "this was posted last week" comments.

[ Parent ]
And (4.00 / 2) (#18)
by titus-g on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 03:52:44 PM EST

The 'This has already been posted on K5' comment with 'This is /. not K5' and 'Not everyone here read K5' replies.

(Well hey it might happen one day)

--"Essentially madness is like charity, it begins at home" --
[ Parent ]

Section II - On Topic Comments (4.00 / 1) (#22)
by codemonkey_uk on Wed Feb 07, 2001 at 05:56:43 AM EST

Some ideas...

Of course, the comment types generated will depend on the story type generated, but, here are some ideas / examples.

Story type: "Person" on "Subject"

Subject: Is "Person" smoking crack?
Body: "Person" must be smoking crack! Everybody knows "Something" about "Subject".

Subject: "Person" right on the ball?
Body: I've been saying for ages that "Something" about "Subject". Its about time sombody stood up and said it, and I'm glad it was "Person".

I'm board of this now. You get the idea. Could be a fun project... :)
"The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." - Bertrand Russell
[ Parent ]

Just use Slashdot's auto-comment generator (4.50 / 2) (#16)
by xrayspx on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 02:56:35 PM EST

Since there's an auto comment generator in Slashd already, just use it. Here's a bit of the code: *snip* ################################# # I suppose I'll let the secret out: for a few months, before the moderation
# system came into being, this little function faked "First Posts" and then
# deleted them when a real comment came along. Worked pretty well, and nobody
# figured it out. I disabled it when the moderation came online feeling that
# it was a cleaner solution. -CT
sub fpsBeDamned {
my @subjects=('First!','First Post!','First Comment','
I got it!','Got it again!',
'FIRST COMMENT!!!', 'First one?', 'FIRST COMMENT!',
'first', 'mine','first!');
my @comments=('its just to easy!','damn I am so good!',
'who has the best kungfu?',
'did I get it?', 'I beat everyone!','got it!',
'hahahahahahahaha!', 'hehe');

That should go well with the auto-content generation site. Now we can have a full-auto, no hands on Slashdot! Joy!

All joking aside, I can't remember the last time I saw a /. admin make a comment in a story, maybe Michael or Timothy. It may already be a hands-free system?
"I see one maggot, it all gets thrown away" -- My Wife
Actually (3.00 / 1) (#17)
by Strongtium90 on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 03:11:54 PM EST

All joking aside, I can't remember the last time I saw a /. admin make a comment in a story, maybe Michael or Timothy. It may already be a hands-free system?

Actually Hemos posts fairly often, but he always gets modded down to -1 troll.

[ Parent ]

They have done it. (none / 0) (#24)
by WWWWolf on Wed Feb 07, 2001 at 12:37:13 PM EST

All joking aside, I can't remember the last time I saw a /. admin make a comment in a story, maybe Michael or Timothy. It may already be a hands-free system?

I can remember the last time I saw a /. admin to comment... 'twas Taco himself, IIRC. It was a *long* time ago. I remember it because the comment had a different text color! =)

(This just probably means I've spent too much time in these sites anyway... =)

- WWWWolf, who still reads Slashdot. Believe it or not. =)

-- Weyfour WWWWolf, a lupine technomancer from the cold north...

[ Parent ]
We're not dead yet! (none / 0) (#25)
by jellicle on Wed Feb 07, 2001 at 01:15:45 PM EST

I don't want to go on the cart...

Michael Sims

[ Parent ]
Re:We're Not Dead Yet (none / 0) (#31)
by xrayspx on Thu Feb 08, 2001 at 10:47:48 AM EST

Outstanding. I do see a few comments sometimes, and I realize you're all as active as possible on a site with 300,000+ users. Probably all just gets lost in the mix.

Besides, if anyone saw posts coming from

CmdrTaco (cmdrtaco@slashdot.org) #1

Everyone would just assume it was fake anyway I guess. :-)
"I see one maggot, it all gets thrown away" -- My Wife
[ Parent ]
Katzdot (4.66 / 3) (#19)
by rusty on Tue Feb 06, 2001 at 08:31:01 PM EST

I know I've posted this before, but it's too apropos to pass up here. If you liked the above, try Katzdot. Auto-generates Katz-compliant headlines, and about one in ten is just howlingly funny. :-)

Not the real rusty
Me Too! (3.50 / 2) (#21)
by Wolfbaine on Wed Feb 07, 2001 at 03:20:31 AM EST

I thought Id leap on the bandwagon of people slagging off at Slashdot and point out the higher quality of grammar and spelling in the generator output. :)

Sorry about that... (none / 0) (#30)
by briggsb on Thu Feb 08, 2001 at 10:28:54 AM EST

We tried to implement the random typo generator into this system, but it was written in Perl and the Story Generator in PHP. Like a true project manager I was too eager to post the Story Generator before all the features were implemented so we'll add it in the first "service pack.

[ Parent ]
Great site! (none / 0) (#23)
by Mantrid on Wed Feb 07, 2001 at 08:41:06 AM EST

I'll never read /. the same way again!

Furby Beowulf Cluster (none / 0) (#26)
by DJ Noha on Wed Feb 07, 2001 at 07:39:26 PM EST

My favorite generated headline was:

Furby Beowulf Cluster

Scary thought!

Are you sure that's fake? (none / 0) (#29)
by dgwatson on Thu Feb 08, 2001 at 07:50:59 AM EST

I'm pretty sure I've read that article... :)

[ Parent ]
Slashdot passes the Turing test (none / 0) (#27)
by nuntius on Thu Feb 08, 2001 at 01:00:20 AM EST

I hate to break it to all you techies out there, but /. passed the Turing test several years ago. Did you really believe CT was a flesh-and-blood human?

Gee Whiz... (none / 0) (#28)
by bisonbucks on Thu Feb 08, 2001 at 01:56:49 AM EST

There's a hell of a lot more stories than normal about beowulf clusters on slashdot today. Oh my god! The next generation Game Boy will help eradicate the AIDs virus! Oh wait, that isn't slashdot. I could hardly tell the difference.

Slashdot story generator | 31 comments (28 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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