<intro scene, aerial view of the English countryside. Cue background music, "The End" by the Doors>
GROUND CONTROL TO ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO, OVER
<change scene: cockpit of heavy assault helicopter. Background sound of beating helicopter blades>
Alpha Charlie Tango here, ready
ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO, CHANGE HEADING TO 1-4-NINER, PROCEED 75 KLICKS, COPY
Alpha Charlie Tango, changing heading to 1-4-niner, proceding 75 klicks, acknowledged.
GROUND CONTROL OUT
Ground Control, Alpha Charlie Tango approaching destination, awaiting further orders
ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO, PREPARE TO GO HOT, TARGET IS A HERD OF APPROXIMATELY 100 HEAD OF CATTLE, ACKNOWLEDGE
ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO, ARE YOU THERE?
Visual to target confirmed
GO HOT, DROP NAPALM PAYLOAD ON HERD, ACKNOWLEDGE
ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO?
Sir, I ... I can't. They're just cows! They look so, so... innocent
ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO, YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS!
No, I won't do it! There are cows and calves down there! They look so peaceful, what did they ever do to us?
(shuffling noise over the radio) ALPHA CHARLIE TANGO, THIS IS COLONEL KILGORE! YOU DROP THOSE G*DD*MNED BOMBS SON! DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR? IT'S US VERSUS THEM! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TAINTED HAMBURGER MEAT WILL DO TO YOU? THOSE COWS WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT KILLING YOUR SORRY ASS WITH THEIR CONTAMINATED CARCASSES!
But sir, Its so... wrong
DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSH*T! YOU CAN'T AVOID CIVILIAN CASUALTIES! NOW IF YOU DON'T DROP YOUR BOMBS, I'M GONNA SEND YOUR LIFELESS BODY TO YOUR MOMMA AFTER I RIP YOUR F*CKING HEAD OFF! YOU GOT THAT?!
This is Alpha Charlie Tango, proceeding as order
<scene: Assault helicopter begins straffing run on oblivious herd below. Drops two full racks of napalm bombs on cattle. Suddenly explosions and fire everywhere. Cows knocked over and in flames, thrashing on the ground. Cut to running calf covered in burning napalm, look of anguish on its face. Pull back to aerial view, burning cattle everywhere, scene of hopeless immolation and destruction>
Ground Control, this is Alpha Charlie Tango. Mission accomplished.
COL KILGORE HERE. SON, I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT. COME ON HOME.
I get to come home but those poor creatures won't. This is too much. I'm sorry sir, I have no choice but to join them. Tell my wife I'm sorry...
<scene: Helicopter goes into steep dive, crashes in the middle of the burning herd. Cut to distant scene of fiery explosion on the horizon>
<scene: Control tower - Col Kilgore,radio in hand, hunched behind air traffic controller>
Damn it, that's the third one this month...