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Japanese Engrish

By duxup in MLP
Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 10:50:12 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

Engrish.com is a collection of signs, and everyday items you find in Japan containing Japanese Engrish (hilariously mangeled English). If the translation, grammar, or spelling isn't bad, no doubt there is some horrible incident involving slang.

I always thought that putting up an All your base poster in Japan would be fun, it would appear that they grow naturally there.


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Japanese Engrish | 32 comments (23 topical, 9 editorial, 0 hidden)
Roll Up Folks (3.00 / 1) (#8)
by Jambu on Tue Apr 10, 2001 at 11:31:58 AM EST

A once in a lifetime opportunity to misspell all u like and be free of the censorious eyes of the pedants. I had a quick scrummage in the pantry with digital camera to see what products would fit the bill, but sadly only a few. (Time to go shopping at those groovy Asian stores). Anyway, here is the site , since K5 doesn't support pix uploads. Its on a crappy home server so may have to do the back forward thing to get the pix. Don't worry, link has nothing to do with goats.

sorry (none / 0) (#9)
by Jambu on Tue Apr 10, 2001 at 11:39:25 AM EST

Ah s*t sorry, traffic upset the server and it defaulted somewere odd (a work back page). Oh well learned my lesson. Pix discussion is useful for somethingawful.com only.

[ Parent ]
plythee (4.66 / 3) (#12)
by anonymous cowerd on Tue Apr 10, 2001 at 10:20:14 PM EST

Here's an neat one - instructions for a toy you hang off the ceiling, I think - from here. though I wonder a bit at that "plythee"; fee fi, etc., could be I smell the blood of an Englishman.

your hbl. svt. plythee WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net

"This calm way of flying will suit Japan well," said Zeppelin's granddaughter, Elisabeth Veil.

Do you realise the importance of that link? (none / 0) (#14)
by Jambu on Tue Apr 10, 2001 at 11:59:38 PM EST

I hope you realise the significance of that link, you have most self evidently stumbled accross a missing great work of Shakespeare The title WAYS AND MEANS furnishes us with the clue, in... "what MEANS got, I leave to your own conscience- To furnish Rome, and to prepare the WAYS (King Henry VIII Act 3, Scene 2). Poor Anthony was on course alluding to "winding finger have got BLOOD STREAM not wallk" Weeping as fast as they STREAM forth thy BLOOD,(Julius Caesar Act 3, Scene 1). However as Shakespeare was clearly not talented enough to come up with a line as great as "Prythee no sport with singy or play asperity game" its seems more likely that this is one of Bacon's lost works To continue this game search strings in Shakespeare

[ Parent ]
Moshi moshi! (none / 0) (#23)
by enani on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 10:09:12 PM EST

I do not have any idea what you are talking about! I cannot understand a thing that you say! Maybe you should try talking in English! Or in Nippon!
--=* Moshi-moshi! *=--
[ Parent ]
Probably the only serious post likely (4.00 / 2) (#13)
by Skippy on Tue Apr 10, 2001 at 10:20:34 PM EST

Among my many previous jobs was as a digital typesetter at a translation company. I will personally attest that there is at least one window air conditioner instruction sheet in Portuguese that isn't quite up to snuff. I don't even know Portuguese and I could tell it was wrong. I couldn't tell you if it was funny or though. I rather doubt it.

For common stuff, the translations aren't that difficult. It starts getting really hard with technical, trade or idiomatic language and lots of "translators" aren't familiar with the appropriate terminology in their own languages. I'm sure that somewhere out there an English version of "All Your Base" exists.
# I am now finished talking out my ass about things that I am not qualified to discuss. #

One of the best (3.50 / 4) (#15)
by spacejack on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 12:07:33 AM EST

I've seen was a notice in a Japanese hotel:

Please take advantage of our chamber maids.

Int'l silliness (4.00 / 1) (#18)
by slaytanic killer on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 04:33:20 AM EST

Every country is weird. Take for example Germany, where I was at recently:

. Trucks with the words Bad Design. (Bad is their word for bath.)
. Super Gross Dickmanns - a chocolate-covered candy with creamy filling.
. Stores everywhere saying Schmuck. (Schmuck is their word for jewelry.)
. Dickmilch - Milk, with extra fat.

[ Parent ]
Yeah but (none / 0) (#25)
by kubalaa on Thu Apr 12, 2001 at 01:19:57 AM EST

.. these are German words; they're only wierd if you speak English. Engrish, on the other hand, does not involve Japanese words which sound like English words.

[ Parent ]
oh yeah (none / 0) (#26)
by kubalaa on Thu Apr 12, 2001 at 01:25:11 AM EST

What about Dusche? "Shower", usually, but even in German it also means "douche" in the sense Americans would give it.

[ Parent ]
English usage in Japan (4.80 / 5) (#16)
by driptray on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 12:08:50 AM EST

I live in Japan, and rewrite Engrish as a full-time job for a large Japanese electronics company.

Nearly everybody in Japan has at least a smattering of English, having learnt it at high school. They often have quite a wide vocabulary, but are typically unable to use it in sentences, and unable to pronounce the words with any confidence. Nor can they understand the pronunciation of a typical native-speaker of English as it differs so radically from the katakana style pronunciation that the Japanese use for English words.

Using English in writing avoids the pronunciation problem, and the bad grammar doesn't concern anybody. English seems to be used in this way mostly as a decoration, or to impart some vague image of modernity, foreign-ness, etc. I laugh at some of the things printed on the t-shirts of Japanese friends, but they are unconcerned when I tell them it doesn't make any sense. Making sense is not the point.

Still, I can't bring myself to eat Collon, which is a fleshy coloured tube filled with brown chocolate.

I've seen decorative uses of kanji on products in Australia, and I'm sure that Japanese people would get a laugh out of that.


--
We brought the disasters. The alcohol. We committed the murders. - Paul Keating
Collon (3.00 / 1) (#17)
by duxup on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 01:57:51 AM EST

Collon is third from the bottom here. I don't blame you for not wanting to eat it. *shiver*

[ Parent ]
Pronunciation issues (4.00 / 1) (#20)
by Karmakaze on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 12:14:14 PM EST

I am the only employee at my current job who is not from India.

I don't normally correct anybody's pronunciation, because I can understand them adequately. I have, however, been having to point out to one of my co-workers repeatedly that the large financial institution "DeutcheBank" should not be pronounced "DoucheBank". I have not yet had the nerve to explain to him why.


--
Karmakaze
[ Parent ]

Learning another Culture (none / 0) (#22)
by static on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 09:05:00 PM EST

I can saw with absolute confidence that trying to learn another language will require learning about the culture behind it. And when you do that, you will gain important insights into how they think. I have been slowing learning Japanese for some while and my attitude to Asians has changed as a result - for the better. And when I visited Japan on a holiday last year, I found that the Japanese people love it when you make an effort to meet them on their own ground, culture-wise. Oh, and affecting a Japanese accent in my (Australian) English also helped :-)

Wade.

[ Parent ]

We can butcher English just fine thank you :) (4.00 / 2) (#19)
by RangerBob on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 10:46:00 AM EST

What we really need is a translator that can show how horribly native English speaking Americans butcher our own language :) Not just different dialects around the country, but how we just twist things into really wierd uses.

For example, I still hear people using the greetings of "Whas up", or "Whas happinin G". My favorite local saying is "I'm fixin to go do somethin". I usually laugh at things like this more often than I do someone from another country trying to speak our language. In fact, I know several foreigners who can speak better English than many of my friends.

correction (1.40 / 5) (#24)
by randombit on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 10:18:08 PM EST

"...that can show how horribly native English speaking Americans butcher our own language"

please correct that to say "...native English speaking African Americans butcher..." Thanks.

[ Parent ]

you are an idiot. (2.00 / 4) (#28)
by Estanislao Martínez on Thu Apr 12, 2001 at 04:53:54 AM EST

please correct that to say "...native English speaking African Americans butcher..." Thanks.

Eh, IIRC, the "I'm fixin' to ..." construction is more common among white speakers. Not only you look like a racist, but like a particularly stupid one.

--em
[ Parent ]

you are an idiot (1.00 / 4) (#29)
by randombit on Thu Apr 12, 2001 at 11:21:22 AM EST

Sorry, but I've never heard "i'm fixen to..." Any color people where I come from don't talk like that.

"Not only you look like "? So I'm the idiot right? Learn English and shut the fuck up.

[ Parent ]

"our" language? (none / 0) (#30)
by anonymous cowerd on Fri Apr 13, 2001 at 11:38:50 AM EST

If any man speaks any language it is his language, he is free to do as he pleases with it. That goes double if it is his first tongue.

Is the English language truly the exclusive copyrighted property of us Aryans? The fact is, of the handsomest and usefullest English language neologisms in this last century, way more than half of them we owe to the fertile creative imaginations of our black brothers. In music the preeminence of blacks is even more pronounced; during the twentieth century, blacks, numbering a mere eighth of the population, seem to have invented every new genre of American music - jazz (in a half dozen varieties) and r&b and rock & roll and rap. These people are f*ckin geniuses! At any rate, as they are the great inventors, it is doubly absurd to assert "English is ours, not theirs."

Now as far as being understood, that's a bit of a different matter. I stake construction, and the other day I was discussing a problem with a black guy on the phone at one of our job sites, but his accent was so dense I simply couldn't understand a damn word. I kept on asking him "What? What?!" - how embarassing! My problem, I suppose; I've got a tin ear for their dialect. But I ended up driving over to the site to talk to him face-to-face because, damn it, try as I might, over the phone I just couldn't make out what he was saying.

Yours WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net

"This calm way of flying will suit Japan well," said Zeppelin's granddaughter, Elisabeth Veil.
[ Parent ]

Yeah, he did come off racist..... (none / 0) (#31)
by Wiglaf on Tue Apr 17, 2001 at 01:06:41 AM EST

I can understand where you are coming from but I live in the south. And yes the south is a grammar sink whole. However, speaking the "king's english" is a requirement to get ahead in this world. You don't know how many times I can't hire someone at the pizza chain I work at cause of poor communication skills. This one guy couldn't understand that saying sir and ma'am are required and asking if someone is "grown enough" doesn't work for when you need to check id's on alcohol sales. I shudder to think what will happen when our generation comes to power cause I see a complete sector being ignored since they can not and will not try and learn how to speak, dress, and act in a "acceptable" or "normal" way. After this section is where you will probally decide to argue with me and I invite a discussion on this cause I do have some pangs of quilt over this opinion. (wiglaf@ziplip.com) There seem to be a large portion of these people that are black. I dunno if it is enviroment or if it is lack of funding for predominantly black schools. Hell I don't care. All I know is that if you can speak in an accepted manner than you should change how you speak. P.S. I also don't understand how a parent can permenantly hamper their child by giving them a name that is unpronoucable by a large portion of society. But this is more of a cultural thing since I am a self-admited "honky". To all that find that offensive....TOUGH. I like classic rock and roll, I drive a truck, and my dancing skills suck. I dunno maybe I should have taken better notes during the multicultural part of university seminar.

Paul: I DOMINATE you to throw rock on our next physical challenge.
Trevor: You can't do that! Do you really think Vampires go around playing rock paper sissors to decide who gets to overpower one another?
[ Parent ]
Mutha-f*cking (none / 0) (#32)
by Wiglaf on Tue Apr 17, 2001 at 01:08:25 AM EST

I had a nice little format setup and hit the wrong one in a drop down menu. Oh well the msg still is there and if the format was bad enough to detract from the msg than the msg wasn't too worthy.

Paul: I DOMINATE you to throw rock on our next physical challenge.
Trevor: You can't do that! Do you really think Vampires go around playing rock paper sissors to decide who gets to overpower one another?
[ Parent ]
*sigh* (3.50 / 2) (#27)
by Estanislao Martínez on Thu Apr 12, 2001 at 04:52:06 AM EST

My favorite local saying is "I'm fixin to go do somethin". I usually laugh at things like this more often than I do someone from another country trying to speak our language. In fact, I know several foreigners who can speak better English than many of my friends.

Please explain to me how come this is "bad" English.

--em
[ Parent ]

Photographed in Kokura, Kyushu (2.00 / 1) (#21)
by hengist on Wed Apr 11, 2001 at 08:18:50 PM EST

was this gem.

There can be no Pax Americana
Japanese Engrish | 32 comments (23 topical, 9 editorial, 0 hidden)
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