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Amazonian Trolls

By alprazolam in MLP
Mon Apr 30, 2001 at 06:42:13 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)

I was reading a review of a book and noticed the reviewer had written a bunch of silly reviews. It's not trolling in the typical sense but I thought it was entertaining, I wonder if people take these reviews seriously.

He also links to a few other interesting reviewers in his favorite people section.


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My favorite book:
o More Joy : An Advanced Guide to Solo Sex 28%
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o How to Good-Bye Depression : If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? 34%
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Amazonian Trolls | 26 comments (26 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
Trolling (4.33 / 3) (#1)
by Signal 11 on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 01:38:10 PM EST

Aight, fess up Vladinator... we know it was you! Or... was it Anne Marie? Bruce Perens? The Penis Bird Guy? OOG? Armaphine?

It's a regular whodunit! :P

Society needs therapy. It's having
trouble accepting itself.

Yep. (4.50 / 2) (#2)
by pb on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 01:53:41 PM EST

It's a mystery, alright!

But... aren't they all the same person?

Wait, aren't they all Signal 11???
"See what the drooling, ravening, flesh-eating hordes^W^W^W^WKuro5hin.org readers have to say."
-- pwhysall
[ Parent ]
Hmm... (4.00 / 1) (#3)
by Signal 11 on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 02:26:20 PM EST

I'm glad somebody caught that... =)

Society needs therapy. It's having
trouble accepting itself.
[ Parent ]
niche trolls (3.00 / 1) (#4)
by alprazolam on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 02:31:31 PM EST

this guy has apparently read 100 books regarding bizarre health problems and found them all useful (he has suffered from every disease known to man). is that stranger than spending all your time trolling /.? i've seen niche trollers on the eetimes web page too, i wonder if they're everywhere.

Also fake books (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by _cbj on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 02:50:59 PM EST

I noticed that. There's not just Raddick at it, but he seems to be the funniest. Also somehow doing fake books. God, I hope that's a fake book...

Looks fake (none / 0) (#21)
by fluffy grue on Tue May 01, 2001 at 01:06:46 AM EST

Although this isn't proof, half.com doesn't know about it, and George W. Bush doesn't seem to have written anything by that title, though the books he really has written don't seem much better...
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.
I have a master's degree in science!

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]
[ Parent ]

I especially like his product reviews... (4.66 / 6) (#6)
by The Cunctator on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 03:47:18 PM EST

Like this one about the Braun IRT3520 Braun ThermoScan:
This is an accurate and easy to use electronic thermometer. It's surprisingly bulky though, and I wish someone had told me that it was in my ear that I had to insert it.
And the Telemania Smiley Face Phone:
It's a bright and shiny phone, there's no doubting that, but stare at it long enough, waiting for her to call, and that smile turns into a mocking grimace.

all 100 (none / 0) (#8)
by alprazolam on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 04:19:03 PM EST

it really is worth it to read all the way through. i particularly like the review where he chopped the hind legs off his dog after buying a 'hermit crab owners' book.

[ Parent ]
Someone is thinking hard.. (4.00 / 1) (#7)
by Wah on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 04:15:27 PM EST

..Malarkey? Certainly not - this man is the Charles Atlas of ringpiece callisthenics.

I'm gonna need some pictures to believe that. I've seen goatse.cx, and if that ain't the Arnold Schwarzenegger of assholes, I don't know what is.
Some things, bandwidth can't buy. For everything else, there's Real Life | SSP

Go go Trollzilla! (2.66 / 3) (#9)
by Pedro Picasso on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 07:42:10 PM EST

So is trolling a niche club or a microculture? Should the trolls register at the UN for a land of their own? Would they use it to harrass Palestinians? I guess I doubt it. You don't really draw many flames harassing Palestinians. Supporting the MPAA, that'll get you flamed, but being the only ones in your area of the world with nuclear weapons and still pretending to be threatened: not going to get people upset.

No, they should stick to harassing Amazon. It's less popular, but more fun. Or maybe they should straight up attack Mothra. I'm all for that.
-the Pedro Picasso

Cult of the Flaky Hardware
[ (sourceCode == freeSpeech) | kakkune.com ]

Got it past the reviewers (4.00 / 1) (#10)
by FuzzyOne on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 09:57:58 PM EST

If I'm not mistaken, Amazon supposedly screens reviews before they get posted. I'd like to see some of the ones that he attempted that didn't make it past the reviewers.

inspiration (4.00 / 1) (#11)
by danny on Tue Apr 24, 2001 at 11:55:50 PM EST

Some of those were quite amusing. I've written almost 600 reviews, without a single troll... (*) I'm tempted to try one, it could be fun!

(*) Though some of my reviews have been mistaken for trolls.

[900 book reviews and other stuff]

Amazon rating system (4.00 / 2) (#12)
by mattc on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 01:12:59 AM EST

I've always wondered why the Amazon rating moderation system is not better designed.

For example if there is a review that "0 of 17 people found helpful" wouldn't it make sense to delete it or at least put it at the bottom of the review list??

Apparently the only thing the "x of x found helpful" does is change the weight of the reviewer's rating.

Another review (4.80 / 5) (#13)
by spiralx on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 11:23:06 AM EST

I still like shoeboy's review here :)

You're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed for ice cream. - Bob Aboey

Comedy Gold (none / 0) (#14)
by nickb on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 09:22:50 PM EST

Oh man... absolutely hillarious! I laughed so hard reading that!

[ Parent ]
Bwahahahaha (none / 0) (#17)
by sigwinch on Fri Apr 27, 2001 at 07:34:45 PM EST

That reminds me about The Evil Truth About Peter Pan from the Cult of the Dead Cow.

I don't want the world, I just want your half.
[ Parent ]

Aw crap... (3.00 / 1) (#18)
by whatnotever on Mon Apr 30, 2001 at 10:03:47 AM EST

Your Recent History

Recently Viewed Products:
   Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition by Barry Richard Burg


[ Parent ]
Red Hat 7 Reviews by Bill Gates and Linus Torvalds (4.00 / 1) (#15)
by quam on Thu Apr 26, 2001 at 11:09:46 PM EST

Linux Today posted a review entitled: The Register: Amazon refuses to pull Bill Gates' review of Linux 7.0 in which The Register reports on reviews of Red Hat 7.0 by Bills Gates and Linus Torvalds on Amazon.co.uk. While Amazon explains it would be "unfair to remove all reviews that were against the products" and "we cannot remove reviews from our website unless they are offensive," surely Bill Gates and Linus Torvalds did not post these reviews. Would Amazon, however, have a duty to remove the reviews because the reviews are misrepresentations?

-- U.S. Patent 5443036 concerns a device for encouraging a cat to exercise by chasing a light spot.
It's obviously fake, though (none / 0) (#16)
by odaiwai on Fri Apr 27, 2001 at 02:20:53 AM EST

The reviews are obviously fake, and probably count as parody, which is quite well protected under US law. I mean, who's going to believe that billg and Linus prefer the other sides OS?

-- "They're chefs! Chefs with chainsaws!"
[ Parent ]
alberte on isaacn (none / 0) (#26)
by mvw on Thu May 03, 2001 at 03:33:32 PM EST

Look at this one.

There are more, sure.

BTW, I'm not sure, but has this one (imported from the US) entry been removed from the US Amazon?

Regards, Marc
[ Parent ]

Bil Keane (5.00 / 1) (#19)
by fluffy grue on Mon Apr 30, 2001 at 11:52:57 AM EST

I miss the good ol' Bil Keane (i.e. Family Circus) troll reviews. There were several dozen hilarious reviews of some Family Circus book, but Amazon deleted them. :( Fortunately, there's a number of partial mirrors, but it's just not the same when they're out of context.
"Is not a quine" is not a quine.
I have a master's degree in science!

[ Hug Your Trikuare ]

Bil Keane reviews not dead (3.00 / 2) (#24)
by gandrews on Tue May 01, 2001 at 11:15:02 AM EST

Actually, it appears that despite Amazon's policing people have continued to post mock-academic and other spurious reviews of Bil Keane's books. The grand tradition is not dead. Thank god, too. What I find alarming is that people actually write SERIOUS reviews of Family Circus books.

More humorous commentary on Family Circus

[ Parent ]

What's going on here? (none / 0) (#20)
by phaze3k on Mon Apr 30, 2001 at 05:00:46 PM EST

I thought trolls were supposed to post goatse.cx links and inane picture of penis birds?
Credit to the author of these, they're damn funny, had me laughing out loud...

So is this supposed to be a funny review? (none / 0) (#22)
by einTier on Tue May 01, 2001 at 01:47:26 AM EST

Because I certainly found it funny... South Park movie

ping! (4.50 / 4) (#23)
by enterfornone on Tue May 01, 2001 at 02:41:45 AM EST

How can you do a story on troll reviews and miss the review of The Story About Ping!

efn 26/m/syd
Will sponsor new accounts for porn.
Indiana Rules of Court (4.00 / 1) (#25)
by davidebsmith on Tue May 01, 2001 at 12:15:09 PM EST

How about this series of reviews: Indiana Rules of Court. I can tell you that this book is not as scintillating as the reviews make it out to be.

Amazonian Trolls | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
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