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Australian rugby player knows difference between wedgie and anal probe!

By Mr Tom in MLP
Thu Apr 26, 2001 at 01:23:12 PM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)

Here is a bizarre article from the world of rugby. Not only is it side-splittingly funny (mostly due to the delicate and euphemistic nature of the Australian dialect!), but it also allows K5 readers to consider a culture other than the naval-gazing geek lifestyle that's so often generalised here.

Basically, I found it hilarious, and thought that some of youse might as well. :-)


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Australian rugby player knows difference between wedgie and anal probe! | 31 comments (20 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden)
Two comments. (4.33 / 3) (#4)
by Crashnbur on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 11:36:24 AM EST

First of all... funny!

"In the end the NRL Judiciary had little trouble differentiating between a "wedgie", a "finger up the arse" and the area between the "arse and the nuts" before finding Hopoate guilty."

Second, it is a bit socially unacceptable, but I see no reason for it to be "gross." Do you realize, any of you, that your anus is about one hundred times cleaner than your mouth (even despite the smell)? And do you also realize that, despite the fact that they roam around in dirt and grass and what not for much of the day, the average dogs' behinds are forty times cleaner than the human mouth?

Think about that. It's not really that gross; it's natural. However, it is socially unacceptable in most cultures, so I respect anyone's opinion that this may be disgusting. (I would personally be washing my hands for seventeen weeks if it somehow managed its way into someone's anus. Uhh, not that it would. Ew.)


Err.. (4.00 / 1) (#7)
by Crashnbur on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 11:42:14 AM EST

I got that backwards. Somehow the dog's anus is cleaner than the human's. That makes sense though. We keep ours locked up in a moist environment (whatever garments we decide to wear holds all the moisture in) that just let the germs live free... until you change/bathe again. Dogs, on the other hand, walk around and keep their butts high and "fresh." That, and we have a tendency to eat all kinds of weird stuff, so I'm sure we have a few more germs in our systems than the average dog.

Oh, and by clean, I mean that the average human mouth contains about 100 times the germs of the average dog anus. So you know.


[ Parent ]
ummm (4.00 / 2) (#13)
by finkployd on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 01:09:12 PM EST

Either way, the manner in which I kiss my girlfriend is not going to change. I'll take my chances with the mouth :)

Sig: (This will get posted after your comments)
[ Parent ]
New sig for streetlawyer ? (4.00 / 2) (#15)
by deefer on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 01:25:06 PM EST

"In the end the NRL Judiciary had little trouble differentiating between a "wedgie", a "finger up the arse" and the area between the "arse and the nuts" before finding Hopoate guilty."

That's as least as good as the wanking a horse across someones face quote, which incidentally also made me spit coffee at my monitor...

Strong data typing is for weak minds.

[ Parent ]

Interesting definition of "clean"... (4.80 / 5) (#16)
by Electric Angst on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 02:08:30 PM EST

Yes, there are less microorganisms in a human anus than in a human mouth, but I don't think that's the only judging factor for cleanliness. Because, even though an anus has less germs, it's pretty much cornered the market on feces.

"Hell, at least [Mailbox Pipebombing suspect Lucas Helder's] argument makes sense, which is more than I can say for the vast majority of people." - trhurler
[ Parent ]
and what planet are you on? (4.00 / 1) (#20)
by Red Wizard on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 03:59:03 PM EST

I dunno about you, but I recall several strains of bacteria living "down under" (so to speak) that are very deadly. So "clean" might be overstating the case.
----- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
[ Parent ]
Gross (4.66 / 3) (#21)
by enterfornone on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 05:52:41 PM EST

I don't think gross is due to the fact that he might get some germs on his finger. I think it's more to do with the fact that big hetro footballers don't consider the idea of being sodomised to be something they would like doing.

efn 26/m/syd
Will sponsor new accounts for porn.
[ Parent ]
But what *kind* of germs? (4.66 / 3) (#28)
by magney on Thu Apr 26, 2001 at 07:06:46 PM EST

The mouth may have more germs in it, but they're safer germs. The germs in our mouth have evolved to live more or less peacably in our mouth. (apart from tooth decay and gingivitis, but then we weren't supposed to live to 70, much less keep our teeth that long).

The intestinal strains, on the other hand... you're probably safe with your own E.coli, but other peoples' can be a problem. That's why you don't drink the water when you vacation in places with less stringent sanitation, and why you need to cook hamburger thoroughly.

This post has been brought to you by the Tangent Diversion Committee.

Do I look like I speak for my employer?
[ Parent ]

I don't think it's funny... (1.28 / 7) (#5)
by thunderbee on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 11:38:01 AM EST

...sad, but not funny.

ROTFL (4.33 / 6) (#8)
by regeya on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 11:44:36 AM EST

Leave it to Australians to make something so disgusting seem so hilarious. :-)

[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]

Whole new euphemism... (4.70 / 10) (#14)
by rusty on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 01:22:22 PM EST

So now when that person in the bar asks if you're into "unsportsmanlike interference" you'll know what they're talking about.

Not the real rusty
Hilarious! But what's the American equivalent... (3.50 / 2) (#19)
by kaemaril on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 03:26:24 PM EST

This was freakin' hilarious, and well worth a +1FP just for the sheer delight of it. But I couldn't help thinking about an American equivalent....

And I think it would work well for professional wrestling. Certainly, chair shots would no longer be considered quite so extreme if this were an available alternative ;) Damn shame Mick Foley's retired, I think we've just discovered a new finisher for Mankind...

Why, yes, I am being sarcastic. Why do you ask?

RFC's in the US... (3.00 / 1) (#26)
by blixco on Thu Apr 26, 2001 at 12:56:57 PM EST

...I thought rugby *was* an american sport as well. Wonder what the hell I was playing all those years?

BTW, women's RFC's are notorious for this type of behavior.

(There. That should get some people out to the games)
The root of the problem has been isolated.
[ Parent ]

Is it? (3.00 / 1) (#27)
by kaemaril on Thu Apr 26, 2001 at 02:20:05 PM EST

Dunno, is it? Certainly, I've never seen any mention of rugby in any American publication or news report I've ever seen, though I'm sure there must be some. I'm certain some people must play it, but that hardly makes it an "American sport". I mean, the law of averages surely dictates that somewhere in that big ol' continent of yours there must be a few people who play cricket, but is that an "American sport"? When you ask 100 people to name an american sport how many (other than yourself ;) ) will say rugby?

Personally, I'm a big fan of Kabbadi - I wonder how many Americans play it? :)

Why, yes, I am being sarcastic. Why do you ask?

[ Parent ]
Hrm... (3.00 / 1) (#29)
by blixco on Fri Apr 27, 2001 at 08:07:30 AM EST

I wonder what these guys would think?

All I'm saying is, it may originate elsewhere, but it's an american (as in USA) sport as well, is very well supported here, and played by quite a few people. On a side note: does anyone actually refer to golf as a scottish sport?

As far as kabaddi goes, there's a lot of fans in the area, but no local teams.
The root of the problem has been isolated.
[ Parent ]

American sport != sport played in America (5.00 / 1) (#30)
by kaemaril on Fri Apr 27, 2001 at 10:18:02 AM EST

Won't disagree, just saying that certain sports are recognised as "belonging" (if you like) to a certain nation or country. For example, baseball is certainly an "American" sport even though it's played worldwide. Cricket most people would say is an "English" sport even though we now suck at it compared to Australia, India and... well, just about anyone else really :(

American Football is played in the UK, too, but nobody would say it was an English sport. That's all I was saying. Didn't mean to offend any yankee rugby players ;)

I quite liked kabbadi, an elegant inexpensive and not hideously violent sport I thought. It was a shame when the one channel over here that showed it stopped showing it.... :(

Why, yes, I am being sarcastic. Why do you ask?

[ Parent ]
Posted a while back (4.00 / 3) (#22)
by Wah on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 05:52:57 PM EST

Although not on K5. :-)

Here's to a link to a story posted on one of my sites a few weeks ago. And in the interests of self-promotion, I'll tease you a bit by saying there's a link on the linked page that lets you see the offending digits in action (Real player required).
Some things, bandwidth can't buy. For everything else, there's Real Life | SSP

Some Hopoate background (and it's LEAGUE) (4.33 / 3) (#23)
by driptray on Wed Apr 25, 2001 at 11:57:16 PM EST

Firstly, its Rugby League, not Rugby. They're quite different sports.

John Hopoate has always been fairly unpopular due to his ridiculously belligerent demeanour on the field. He loves to gloat after scoring, which is not as acceptable in Australia as it is in America. This incident has only confirmed most people's bad opinion of him.

But it's also done more than that. His club has sacked him, and no other club will hire him. His career is over, and last I heard he was considering a career in pro-wrestling for a couple of hundred dollars a bout. Quite a step down for somebody that was earning a few hundred thousand dollars a year.

Rugby League is a fairly homophobic world and anything that hints at sodomy cannot be tolerated, despite Ian Roberts.

We brought the disasters. The alcohol. We committed the murders. - Paul Keating
English politician? (3.50 / 2) (#24)
by pallex on Thu Apr 26, 2001 at 07:44:49 AM EST

I`m sure the Conservative party over here would love to hear from him!

[ Parent ]
They didn't practice in the showers! (5.00 / 1) (#31)
by jasonab on Mon Apr 30, 2001 at 05:31:26 PM EST


Oh, the humanity! :-)

Australian rugby player knows difference between wedgie and anal probe! | 31 comments (20 topical, 11 editorial, 0 hidden)
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