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If else go to computers

By duxup in MLP
Mon Jun 04, 2001 at 10:25:08 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)

I suppose every generation has a particular industry that draws in the masses of directionless people. I work for a computer networking company and I've often thought that computers and computer networking is my generations default career.

I couldn't help but feel my theory was somewhat validated after reading the short article A burned toaster gives way to a network technician about a woman's unfortunate encounter with a VCR, a toaster, and lengthy pursuit of her CCNA.


Voxel dot net
o Managed Hosting
o VoxCAST Content Delivery
o Raw Infrastructure


VCR + Toaster =
o CCNA 2%
o MCSE 23%
o A++ 9%
o fire 35%

Votes: 103
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o A burned toaster gives way to a network technician
o Also by duxup

Display: Sort:
If else go to computers | 25 comments (20 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
Ill vote for MCSE (3.16 / 6) (#1)
by derek_m on Fri May 25, 2001 at 04:55:13 AM EST

Since everyone knows it stands for Must Consult Someone Experienced, and anyone daft enough to connect a VCR to a toaster definitely needs to do it :)

MCSE (4.20 / 5) (#3)
by tlt on Fri May 25, 2001 at 05:19:40 AM EST

I always thought it was Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert.

[ Parent ]
Or (4.00 / 5) (#7)
by Phil the Canuck on Fri May 25, 2001 at 07:56:37 AM EST



I don't think being an idiot comes with a pension plan though. Unless you're management of course. - hulver
[ Parent ]

And.. (5.00 / 1) (#23)
by IronDragon on Sun May 27, 2001 at 01:19:36 PM EST

Moron Confused by Sun Equipment

[ Parent ]
Why IT jobs are this default option (4.00 / 2) (#2)
by nobbystyles on Fri May 25, 2001 at 05:05:47 AM EST

Rapidly expanding industry

Skills change so fast that newbies aren't at that much of disadvantage

Unreliable hardware and software that requires a lot of TLC

Well paid jobs

White collar therefore 'middle class'

Slurp Cisco! (4.37 / 8) (#4)
by deefer on Fri May 25, 2001 at 07:35:47 AM EST

That was probably one of the worst arselicking articles I have ever read. Go count the amount of times "Cisco" is mentioned there. I mean come on, OK the article can mention Cisco once or twice, but this read just like a marketing spiel.

And it really pisses me off that IT is seen to be a "default" career. Not because of any snobbishness, but because I've had to work with fuckwits who wanted to get into IT because it's an indoor job with no heavy lifting, and pays well.

That's fine by me but you've got to know your shit, and you're never going to do that if you're a 9-5 er with no interest in the field.

I'm sick and tired of having to explain what a register is on a CPU to these MBA's who get into IT because they're a warm body and the industry needs people. By all means, get into IT, but don't just dip your toe in the water; get good at it. I've got more respect for a newbie who's willing to listen, learn and take an interest than a supposed "professional" who thinks that knowing VBA makes them 1337.

Kill the baddies.
Get the girl.
And save the entire planet.

I saw more humor (4.00 / 2) (#8)
by duxup on Fri May 25, 2001 at 08:01:49 AM EST

I work with a whole new pile of "network engineers" every day myself. I didn't think the article was an advertisement for Cisco. I almost thought it was nearly a joke on the person it was about, and possibly a quiet a slight against Cisco. As I commented elsewhere, I thought it may as well read: "Idiot gets CCNA" and I didn't think that was much of an advertisement for Cisco.

[ Parent ]
Gak! Don't *you* start! (4.50 / 4) (#10)
by deefer on Fri May 25, 2001 at 08:55:24 AM EST

There are 4 sentences in your post, and 3 references to C*sco!

Who do you work for, again? ;)

Kill the baddies.
Get the girl.
And save the entire planet.

[ Parent ]

Oh no! It's *me*! (3.00 / 1) (#12)
by duxup on Fri May 25, 2001 at 09:51:13 AM EST

Oddly enough, I work for a competitor to Cisco.

Empowering the Internet Generation

[ Parent ]
No heavy lifting? (3.75 / 4) (#9)
by Yer Mom on Fri May 25, 2001 at 08:10:23 AM EST

Hah! I wish...

Bloody Acer servers... at least they put wheels on them. Not much use for getting them out of the box, though :(
Hell hath no fury like a pissed off Glaswegian.
[ Parent ]

Ack! Warm body needed for Cisco cert! (3.40 / 5) (#11)
by yankeehack on Fri May 25, 2001 at 09:16:51 AM EST

I don't know what is sadder, that this lady spent six years at a two year community college getting the CCNA or that I am a bit too familiar with training programs in high schools, tech centers, cert farms, what have you....

Seriously, this woman is a prime example of the boneheaded ideas floating around out there about professional education for IT folks. Company A wants to increase brainshare and prestige and revenue and makes up bogus training course for a Company Certified Technician. Of course, training course is in the thousands of dollars. Of course, the certification expires in a set amount of time because "you have to keep up to date" and thusly ensuing a revenue stream far into the future. Of couse, the training course discusses only the Company's method of doing things and little, if any practical knowledge. Of course, HR and supervisors start looking for the cert on people's resumes. And finally, of course, because of all of these onetary/time/practical investments that clients and individuals make into this bogus training course, Company A has succeeded in gaining brainshare for a training program which is nearly worthless.

[Any references in the above to real and actual training programs are completely intentional...]

Here's hoping that this Democratic Senator will run for President in 2004.

six years at a two year community college (4.00 / 1) (#16)
by Shren on Fri May 25, 2001 at 03:07:00 PM EST

Not all that bad if she's working full time and taking classes at about one third the normal two year rate.

[ Parent ]

be careful what you wish for (4.00 / 2) (#14)
by mami on Fri May 25, 2001 at 01:01:17 PM EST

I bet if Peterson actually had burned down her house when networking her iron, VCR and toasters, she would have thought of becoming a lawyer to sue those bad companies who made such unsafe products like toasters, VCRs and such.

Now, what would you perfer her to be ? CCNA or patent lawyer? Be careful what you wish for your friendly female coworker to be.

What do you expect.. (4.33 / 3) (#15)
by gridwerk on Fri May 25, 2001 at 01:45:01 PM EST

when the Truck Driving commercials that used to be shown in the early afternoon for the unemployed and directionless in-between Rikki Lake and Jenny Jones have been replaced with MCSE and other IT Cert Commercials promising to make X amount right out the gate.

Thought... (none / 0) (#18)
by jd on Fri May 25, 2001 at 04:43:12 PM EST

A VCR contains wires that have a variable current travelling through them. This means that it is transmitting electromagnetic radiation, at a certain wavelength.

Now, a toaster's fillaments are, well, wires. This means that they can pick up electromagnetic radiation, at a specific wavelength.

If you were to have a toaster and a VCR that were built -just so-, you should be able to control the exact pattern on the toast, by playing different tapes on the VCR.

Hrm (none / 0) (#19)
by delmoi on Fri May 25, 2001 at 05:45:53 PM EST

That might be, well, dificult. Are you talking about a stock VCR/Toaster? I'd say probably not. If pluged a RF feed from the VCR, and could some how isolate the individual loops on the toaster coil, it might work.
"'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
[ Parent ]
Toster? (none / 0) (#20)
by delmoi on Fri May 25, 2001 at 05:56:45 PM EST

How hard could it be to wire up a toaster to a VCR? What did she try to do, plug [large number] volt heating filament right into the VCR's play wire? I can just see hear her thoughts... Well, a VCR probably uses 3-9 volts for a signal... but I'm sure 9000 would be ok. (Of course, I don't know, toasters might just stick with 120).

Anyway. My guess is a Toaster probably uses a big fat mechanical switch, rather then a relay, so she probably could have just replaced the power cord leads and sent them to control lines from the power button. Although you might need to just tap it once, rather then having it held down.

Anyway, what a crappy counselor, she shouldn't have sent this girl into networking; she should have sent her into EE. Maybe networking was the only 'electronics like' class they had, but still. Sheesh, she could be making like 60k designing new kinds of toasters :P
"'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
EE - are you sure about that? (none / 0) (#24)
by ajf on Sun May 27, 2001 at 08:49:58 PM EST

Anyway, what a crappy counselor, she shouldn't have sent this girl into networking; she should have sent her into EE.

Ah, well there was that "almost burned her house down" part of the story - perhaps sending her somewhere she couldn't kill herself was wise after all.

"I have no idea if it is true or not, but given what you read on the Web, it seems to be a valid concern." -jjayson
[ Parent ]
Sometimes, I'm ashamed... (none / 0) (#21)
by Luke Francl on Sat May 26, 2001 at 12:39:15 PM EST

Reading that article reminds me that sometimes I'm ashamed of the oft-backwards people of my adopted home state...

Well, I'm scratching the company that woman works off the "Places to Apply for a Job At" list.

is the star tribune real? (none / 0) (#25)
by Surly on Fri Jun 01, 2001 at 03:01:25 PM EST

This reminded me so much of something that would be in theonion.

Are you sure this star tribune paper is real?


If else go to computers | 25 comments (20 topical, 5 editorial, 0 hidden)
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