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Apple sues Satan

By John Milton in MLP
Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 09:30:13 AM EST
Tags: Freedom (all tags)
Freedom

According to MacSlash, Apple decided to sue The Church of Satan for using parodies of Apple trademarks on their webpage. Here is Satan's side. The link to the original article kept timing out for me, but maybe you'll have better luck.


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Satan uses a Mac
o That explains all the pretty flames. 16%
o Only one mouse button in hell 76%
o Inoshiro? 7%

Votes: 56
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o MacSlash
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o original article
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Apple sues Satan | 33 comments (31 topical, 2 editorial, 0 hidden)
Insert lame "Bill Gates == Satan" joke h (3.33 / 6) (#1)
by ucblockhead on Wed Jun 20, 2001 at 11:36:41 PM EST


-----------------------
This is k5. We're all tools - duxup
lame Bill Gates == Statan joke (3.50 / 4) (#8)
by spacejack on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:00:56 AM EST

if( BillGates == Satan )
  printf( "Bill Gates is Satan!\n" );
else
  printf( "Steve Jobs is Satan!\n");


[ Parent ]
hmm (3.25 / 4) (#9)
by spacejack on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:09:33 AM EST

I think I know what the output will be. I thought this was Bill Gates.

[ Parent ]
no no no (4.50 / 2) (#17)
by cp on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 02:25:11 AM EST

The real Bill Gates is this one.

[ Parent ]
Bling. (3.25 / 4) (#2)
by Crashnbur on Wed Jun 20, 2001 at 11:38:32 PM EST

Okay, I know this is all fairly serious stuff... but the title "Apple Sues Satan" and the article's twist is just hilarious.

You should have referred to Apple as the "forbidden fruit". :-)

crash.neotope.com


it is (4.00 / 1) (#14)
by Delirium on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:53:38 AM EST

Check the link:
http://www.churchofsatan.com/Pages/ForbiddenFruit.html

Apparently the Satanists have a sense of humor.

[ Parent ]

IIRC (3.50 / 4) (#3)
by Xeriar on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:07:39 AM EST

Satanists worship the concept of the Egyptian god Seth (-> Set -> Satan) - the guy who tore up Oseris and left the poor guys phallus where noone could find it.

That's mean!

----
When I'm feeling blue, I start breathing again.

Nope (3.66 / 3) (#7)
by Pseudonym on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:39:11 AM EST

Satanists don't worship anybody. Their name is taken from the Hebrew name "Satan" which means "adversary". If they worship anything, it's that spirit of the adversarial.

Well, that's the theory, anyway. In practice, they're yet another "I'm a nonconformist just like all my friends" club.



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
[ Parent ]
Thus the term (3.50 / 2) (#12)
by Xeriar on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:51:37 AM EST

Concept. Seth is the Egyptian god of chaos - while the Egyptians didn't consider the idea evil, the Greeks certainly did.

----
When I'm feeling blue, I start breathing again.
[ Parent ]
Church of Satan and Temple of Set (5.00 / 3) (#13)
by Delirium on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:52:25 AM EST

No. I'm not Satanist myself, and don't personally know any Satanists, but I have read a bit about it. "Modern Satanism" generally refers to the religion founded by Anton LaVey in the 1960s, and its tenets are set forth in his Satanic Bible. It's really more of a philosophy than a religion, and draws heavily from the works of Nietzche, Rand, and the philosophy of Social Darwinism. It's basically a philosophy of "might makes right," strength over weakness, indulgence in pleasure, and abhorrence of sacrifice. Since neither LaVey himself nor his Church of Satan believe in the literal existence of either a God or a Satan (or any other angels or demons), I'm not sure why the term "Satanism" is even used, except that it let Mr. LaVey call himself "High Priest," dress in black robes, and wave around fancy silver pentagrams while conducting "black masses." After all, it's a lot more fun being a priest in your own religion than a mere philosopher, I suppose. That, and his Satanic Bible would've sold much fewer copies if it had been just another Social Darwinist treatise.

As for Set, the ancient Egyptian god you referred to, there is a group called the "Temple of Set." They were composed initially of members who either quit or were forced out of LaVey's Church of Satan in the mid 1970s because they believed in the literal existence of Satan and claimed to have the ability to communicate with him and his demons. After their attempt to form the "Second Church of Satan" failed due to legal problems (the name "Church of Satan" was trademarked by LaVey), their founder (his name escapes me at the moment, he was a former editor of the Church of Satan newsletter) claimed that while attempting to invoke Satan through his rituals, he was answered by Set instead. He wrote a book detailing a series of revelations about the "true nature of Darkness" involving Set and founded the Temple of Set, headed by himself.

Needless to say, the Church of Satan doesn't take kindly to being confused with his organization. =]

[ Parent ]

There's more too. (none / 0) (#16)
by John Milton on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 02:21:24 AM EST

The schism is about more than that. As I understand it, LaVey's church is seen by the "Temple of Set" as just a way to get membership dues. Of course, you could apply the same logic to any church.


"When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


[ Parent ]
fees (4.00 / 1) (#18)
by Delirium on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 02:45:13 AM EST

Ah yeah, I seem to remember something about that. It is somewhat suspicious that the membership fee is $100, and that although you must be 18 to participate in any activities officially related to the church, they'll accept your $100 membership fee at any age (you'll just be an "inactive member"). Maybe this is their social Darwinism at work.

[ Parent ]
satan is boring... (4.00 / 1) (#23)
by gold tone ranking monkey on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 09:29:20 AM EST

I'm not sure why the term "Satanism" is even used, except that it let Mr. LaVey call himself "High Priest," dress in black robes, and wave around fancy silver pentagrams while conducting "black masses."

having read most of lavey's satan-related books (hey, i was a teenager once), the ritualistic side of it is more along the lines of psychodrama, playing into the (cough) human mind's need for ritual, mystery, all that.

mind you, when it comes to recreating theoretical rituals from the depths of the ancient hive-mind, i'll stick with hermann nitsch everytime - his music is better, he doesn't look like john lovitz in satanic pyjamas, and, most importantly, you can pretend it's art.

-b.
close the drains. please.
[ Parent ]
lol (3.00 / 1) (#26)
by Xeriar on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 10:15:49 AM EST

For a group of people that enjoys striking a nerve, I find that amusing.

----
When I'm feeling blue, I start breathing again.
[ Parent ]
South Park revisited (4.50 / 2) (#4)
by John Milton on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:11:22 AM EST

Steve Jobs: Who's your little cream puff?

Satan: *sigh* You are Steve.

"When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


It is the forbidden fruit. (4.20 / 5) (#5)
by delmoi on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:28:19 AM EST

Apple's logo does represent the forbidden fruit, Apple is forgetting their roots.

From what I recall, One of the reasons Apple was formed was to try to get computers into the hands of people, thereby unleashing knowledge onto the masses. In a similar manner to biting into the apple, unleashing knowledge onto the human race.

Well, one of the goals. You might think it's a stretch, but remember. The Apple 1 sold for $666.

The sad thing is.... (4.50 / 4) (#6)
by John Milton on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:37:21 AM EST

This really is discriminatory. One of the items they used on their site was Made with Macintosh badges. Everyone else is encouraged to use them, but they won't allow them to use that either.

It has recently come to our attention that you are displaying a MADE WITH MACINTOSH badge and logo and a THINK DIFFERENT badge and logo on your web site at www.churchofsatan.com. Apple believes that your use of the made with macintosh and think different badges in this manner is likely to tarnish the goodwill associated with the APPLE Marks, and constitutes dilution in violation of the Federal Anti-Dilution Act. Additionally, Apple believes that your use of the MADE WITH MACINTOSH and THINK DIFFERENT badeges also violates the terms of your license agreement with Apple for use of these badges.

"When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


[ Parent ]
myth (3.00 / 1) (#10)
by rebelcool on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:21:56 AM EST

i was reading about that myth a couple weeks back. it really is just supposed to be about discovering knowledge in the way that newton's apple-on-the-head thing.

COG. Build your own community. Free, easy, powerful. Demo site
[ Parent ]

then why... (5.00 / 1) (#11)
by physicsgod on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:31:17 AM EST

Is there a bite taken out of the apple?

--- "Those not wearing body armor are hereby advised to keep their arguments on-topic" Schlock Mercenary
[ Parent ]
It's the Adam & Eve apple, not Newton's (3.00 / 3) (#15)
by treetops on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 02:14:10 AM EST

According to Genesis, Adam and Eve ate the fruit ("apple" as it is sometimes translated) of the Tree of Knowledge (of Good and Evil) after Eve was tempted by "the Adversary" (often given as the Devil, Satan, etc) in the form of a snake. This might not have been so bad if God had not specifically forbidden them to eat that fruit. Any other tree was ok, but that one was off-limits.

Hence, the "forbidden fruit", and the apple representing knowledge.

(I might be wrong on details, I'm not a Bible scholar or anything close)
--tt
[ Parent ]

Newton's apple... (none / 0) (#21)
by i on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 05:56:06 AM EST

is the Adam and Eve's apple. Think (different) about it!

and we have a contradicton according to our assumptions and the factor theorem

[ Parent ]
Jobs & Woz (4.00 / 1) (#20)
by slaytanic killer on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 05:06:47 AM EST

These two are not the least heretical people on the planet. While the company may have been named Apple because of a wonderful time Jobs spent in picking apples in orchards one summer (wonderful thing, I know) it was definitely seized upon for its more interesting connotations.

They made their first money in dorms selling blue boxes. I'm sure they took a bit of that rebellious culture with them.

[ Parent ]
-1: Use more direct link ... (none / 0) (#24)
by istevens on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 09:37:54 AM EST

I'm giving this a -1 only because the article references a MacSlash link when it should have chosen the MacWorld link referenced by MacSlash.

ian.
--
ian
Weblog archives

I'm feeling stupid today ... (4.00 / 1) (#25)
by istevens on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 09:39:59 AM EST

Whoops ... sorry folks, didn't see that MacWorld link which the poster actually gave but had problems accessing. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

ian.
--
ian
Weblog archives
[ Parent ]

Wow... (none / 0) (#27)
by Whizard on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:11:46 PM EST

The last paragraph in the Church of Satan page is beautiful. It was worth reading through that long document just for that last paragraph. It's so nice to know someone still understands the true meaning of irony.


--
So Lawrence Lessig, John Perry Barlow, Rusty, and Prince are having dinner...
twist and shout! (none / 0) (#28)
by flummox on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:28:00 PM EST

steve jobs is worse than bill gates...

anyhoo... the information on CoS website was great! awesome read!

can't wait until steve jobs get's his ass reamed.

cap'n flummox


...bring me my cheese...

Yikes (4.00 / 1) (#29)
by Emacs on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:29:34 PM EST

Purple text on a black background == totally unreadable.

I suppose I shoouldn't be surprised that the church of satan has no clue with regards to making a webpage user friendly. They are probably spending too much time drinking goats blood and chanting, and not enough time reading usablity studies.

who's sueing anyone? (4.00 / 1) (#30)
by coffee17 on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 12:51:48 PM EST

Perhaps I'm just short on vocabulary, but I thought that sueing someone involved bringing them to court. Apple is so far "only" sending threatening letters. My guess is that any low-brow lawyer employed by apple is free to send out cease and desist letters to their heart's content. However, the case would likely actually have to come in front of some higher-ups before apple's legal machine would actually do anything, and at that point it might be acknowledged as something they don't really want to fight over.

Question to non-americans, How do corporations handle themselves in your country? Are they free to make it sound like their about to take legal action on something that they actually wouldn't just in an attempt to scare whoever they are bullying? Or do they even try to put some intelligence into their non-official bullying?

Bah, the US needs some where to strike back in a cost effective manor against bully corporations which overstep their bounds. From a certain viewpoint sending a cease and desist letter is kinda like sending a "get out of town before you're lynched" letter, and outside of alabama and texas, I'm pretty sure that the latter letter would not be the greatest of things.

But that would just lead to companies having to actually take everything (even legitimate issues which can be solved with a cease and desist) to court, which would clog the system further, and primarily just help the lawyers. However, at least some issues wouldn't end up getting raised because "Um, we'd never win this in court."

-coffee


Yeah, but..... (none / 0) (#32)
by John Milton on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 02:12:01 PM EST

Apple sues Satan sounded so much more interesting than Apple lawyers threaten Church of Satan. ;) I fudged for the sake of drama. If I recall correctly, you can sue a corporation for threatening to sue you. That's to prevent people from making bogus claims. If someone threatens to sue you without reason, you can take them to court, and they'll be the one turning red.

This is what's happening with the RIAA and the academics who broke their watermarking. The RIAA sent them a cease-and-desist letter, so their suing the RIAA. The courts do see that as a "get out of town before you're lynched" letter unless there is a legitimate case. Who knows how that will turn out.


"When we consider that woman are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should Treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." -Elizabeth Cady Stanton


[ Parent ]
Think different (3.50 / 2) (#31)
by weirdling on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 01:36:02 PM EST

First of all, it is 'think differently', which has always driven me nuts. Second, Apple is only interested in different thinking so long as it fits the acceptable political leanings of the liberal left, where most of their customer base resides. That being said, I think that Jobs is driving Apple towards profitability but away from iconclasm in general. I worry that once Apple becomes sufficiently a commodity, that there will be nothing to distinguish it from M$, thus actually causing its demise.

I'm not doing this again; last time no one believed it.
SATAN?! (5.00 / 1) (#33)
by SnowBlind on Thu Jun 21, 2001 at 02:13:36 PM EST

For a minute there I thought maytbe they were suing Richard Stallman ;)

There is but One Kernel, and root is His Prophet.
Apple sues Satan | 33 comments (31 topical, 2 editorial, 0 hidden)
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