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[P]
How do you name a war?

By wiredog in MLP
Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 07:23:20 PM EST
Tags: etc (all tags)
/etc

"Do you want your grandchildren to say you were in Blue Spoon?"

The story of how the Pentagon names its wars.


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How do you name a war? | 35 comments (26 topical, 9 editorial, 0 hidden)
PC naming? (3.50 / 2) (#3)
by garbanzo on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 02:37:18 PM EST

I'm glad they are not going to name their war something that will offend Muslims. Which reminds me of the time the Catholic Church objected to the US Navy naming a nuclear missile submarine "Corpus Christi" (body of Christ). The Navy changed the name to "The City of Corpus Christi."



sure, it's all fun and games--until someone puts an eye out

Not a missile sub... (4.50 / 2) (#15)
by SvnLyrBrto on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 09:09:57 PM EST

The Corpus Christi is not a missile sub, it's a Los Angeles (688) class fast attack sub.

As a side note of historical trivia, before the 688s, attack subs were all names after various fish (makes sence, right?).

Anyway, during the '70s, there were two competing designs for sucessor to the Sturgeon class. One was a a slower, deeper-diveing sub that would have specialised in anti-submarine warfare (the hunter-killer sub). The other, was a smaller design, with a more powerful reactor that would enable it to travel fast enough (hence, fast attack sub) to escort a carrier battle group (and thus, give the sub force ANOTHER mission).

Hyman Rickover, at the time, basiclly the GOD of the nuclear navy, favored the latter design. But a coalition of other admrials wanted to usurp his power and the submarine force's influence in the navy.

The hunter-killer coalition was winning until Rickover exploited his connections in congress. One of the ways Rickover rewarded the loyalty of his congresscritters was to name the first flight of 688s after the home cities of his key supporters.

And THAT is why the 688 class attack subs are the only ones named after US cities.


cya,
john

Imagine all the people...
[ Parent ]

Only ones named for cities, sure.... (none / 0) (#21)
by barzok on Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 08:31:18 AM EST

Now explain the naming for the Ohio-class boomers.

[ Parent ]
well, (none / 0) (#25)
by _Quinn on Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 07:29:18 PM EST

What else could Ohio put its name on? :)

-_Quinn

(Probably the same reason battleships were named for states, even the land-locked ones.)
Reality Maintenance Group, Silver City Construction Co., Ltd.
[ Parent ]
Operation Self Righteous Backlash? (3.60 / 5) (#4)
by westgeof on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 03:06:11 PM EST

Pretty amusing link, but I'm wondering if they will actually name this operation, or if it will just be the 'War on Terror,' in the same vein as the war on drugs, war of poverty, war on pocket lint, etc...
It'll definately be a new kind of war, and I only hope that it's carried out honorably. I don't want my title to be an accurate representation.

For the record, though, I would like to see what a Letterman-style top ten list of tasteless war names.


As a child, I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance
Name? (none / 0) (#33)
by Herring on Mon Sep 24, 2001 at 05:02:21 AM EST

Operation kill someone, somewhere, now or we'll look stupid.



Say lol what again motherfucker, say lol what again, I dare you, no I double dare you
[ Parent ]
a similar article (4.33 / 3) (#6)
by starbreeze on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 03:50:36 PM EST

A similar article about how they name operations here: http://carlisle-www.army.mil/usawc/Parameters/1995/sieminsk.htm

~~~~~~~~~
"There's something strangely musical about noise." ~Trent Reznor

plagarism? (5.00 / 1) (#22)
by ToastyKen on Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 01:51:36 PM EST

Wow.. much of the Post article is directly lifted from this article you linked to.. scary.

[ Parent ]
Not plagarism (4.00 / 1) (#26)
by wiredog on Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 08:48:14 PM EST

The Post credits the author of the article referred to in the comment above.

If there's a choice between performance and ease of use, Linux will go for performance every time. -- Jerry Pournelle
[ Parent ]
I noticed, but still (3.00 / 1) (#28)
by ToastyKen on Sun Sep 23, 2001 at 02:31:58 AM EST

Yeah, I noticed the author crediting, but I guess it still bothers me that huge chunks were lifted word for word. :P Still, I agree it's probably not evil.

[ Parent ]
credits (none / 0) (#34)
by starbreeze on Mon Sep 24, 2001 at 09:45:49 AM EST

Oh, i didn't notice the credits. I just thought it was odd that I had linked to the article i posted on my weblog the same day, before i saw this post.

~~~~~~~~~
"There's something strangely musical about noise." ~Trent Reznor
[ Parent ]

For Infinite Justice! (4.00 / 3) (#7)
by J'raxis on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 04:12:04 PM EST

Then Infinite Justice. But yesterday, that last name was being rethought because some Muslims might find it offensive, according to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
I’m just waiting for all the stupid AYBABTU “For Great Justice” jokes to start pouring in. Actually, I believe they already have over at Slashdot. Not to mention that al-Qaeda, bin Laden’s organisation, translates to The Base...

— The Raxis

[ J’raxis·Com | Liberty in your lifetime ]

i'll take a stab at it (2.00 / 4) (#12)
by core10k on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 05:49:44 PM EST

Noone seems to have done it right and the text is pretty short so it's easy to modify. Taking your information in hand, here we go:

In A.D. 2101
War was beginning.
Captain: What happen ?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb
Operator: We get signal
Captain: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on
Captain: It's You !!
Bush: How are you gentlemen !!
Bush: All your base are belong to us
Bush: You are on the way to destruction
Captain: What you say !!
Bush: You have no chance to survive make your time
Bush: HA HA HA HA ....
Captain: Take off every 'zig'
Captain: You know what you doing
Captain: Move 'zig'
Captain: For Stop Infinite Justice


On second thought, I apologise profusely. Ugh... and there are people who thought that photoshopping/modifying the text from that game was cool? What a horrible world we find ourselves in.

[ Parent ]
Fark.com (none / 0) (#19)
by J'raxis on Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 12:46:20 AM EST

Photoshopping? (Found on Fark.com.)

— The Farking Raxis

[ J’raxis·Com | Liberty in your lifetime ]
[ Parent ]

neh (4.00 / 1) (#20)
by core10k on Sat Sep 22, 2001 at 01:50:10 AM EST

Could have gone my life without seeing that, but no, you had to ruin it all. :-)

[ Parent ]
Al Your Qaeda (5.00 / 1) (#29)
by delmoi on Sun Sep 23, 2001 at 06:01:27 AM EST

Are belong to us.
--
"'argumentation' is not a word, idiot." -- thelizman
[ Parent ]
Arabic pronunciation (none / 0) (#31)
by mrBlond on Sun Sep 23, 2001 at 04:28:30 PM EST

VOA says Al-Qaeda is pronounced [al K-EYE-eh-duh], but I've heard the Q pronounced by a Middle east expert with a guttural G - don't know if he was Hebrew or Arabic.

I've heard Hizbullah pronounced both [bulla] and [bAllah], anyone know how to pronounce it, Mughniyeh or Zawahiri?
--
Inoshiro for cabal leader.
[ Parent ]

Too bad (4.00 / 3) (#9)
by Rand Race on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 04:52:53 PM EST

They may not want to wait for the historians, but the historians do get the last word. 100 years from now only serious history geeks will know what Desert Storm was, the vast majority of people, westerners at least, will know of the war as the Gulf War.

On second thought, I know people that still refer to the battles of Bull Run as the battles of Manassas. Granted these are the same goobers who call the (American) Civil War the 'War of Northern Agression' so go figure.


"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because if there be one, He must approve the homage of Reason rather than that of blindfolded Fear." - Thomas Jefferson

Bull Run vs Manassas (4.00 / 2) (#11)
by wiredog on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 05:41:48 PM EST

It was the "War For Southern Independence" you damnyankee! Actually, Bull Run is the name of a stream that flows through the battlefield and Manassas is the nearest town. Around here many streams are called "Runs". So we have Scott's Run, Pimmit Run, Dead Run, etc. Referring to "Bull Run Creek" marks you as a damnyankee. And therefore to be despised. Unless you're a tourist. Then we'll politely(this is the South) soak you for all we can get.

If there's a choice between performance and ease of use, Linux will go for performance every time. -- Jerry Pournelle
[ Parent ]
Who you callin yankee son? (none / 0) (#35)
by Rand Race on Mon Sep 24, 2001 at 03:30:44 PM EST

The funniest road sign I have ever seen was in Virginia; It was a big freeway sign 'Whitesville next exit' and below that sign was a little one that read 'Blacks Run' because the road crossed the creek right there.

Yankees ask me how I can be near a 'gulf' in landlocked Tennessee too, you Hokeys ain't the only ones who get misunderstood. (A gulf btw is steep mountain valley that opens into a lowland area)


"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because if there be one, He must approve the homage of Reason rather than that of blindfolded Fear." - Thomas Jefferson
[ Parent ]

Obvious initials: F U (2.25 / 4) (#10)
by Vs on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 04:59:00 PM EST

"Up yours" might be adequate, too. Vs, shaking his head.
--
Where are the immoderate submissions?
We pay people for THAT??? (3.00 / 1) (#16)
by SvnLyrBrto on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 09:18:06 PM EST

I wonder just how *much* we pay for a team of people to sit around and dither about what we should code-name military operations.

It's surreal... the whole business about what to codename the "operation". (BTW... anyone else notice? We don't have "wars" anymore, we have "operations".)

I'm reminded of Apple's old Carl Sagan / Butt Head Astronomer / Lawyers Are Wimps drama.

Just what the hell does it matter what you name the damn thing? It could be named "operation shoot a yak to the moon", Or "operation make osama bin laden look like the goatse.cx guy", for all I care. Just so long as the job gets done.


cya,
john

Imagine all the people...

The "cost" of naming (none / 0) (#30)
by X-Nc on Sun Sep 23, 2001 at 10:47:54 AM EST

> I wonder just how *much* we pay for a team of people
> to sit around and dither about what we should code-name
> military operations.

Heh, well, it doesn't cost anything at all, really. The people who would be coming up with names would be doing that kind of work anyway. It's the same with any saleried employee, doesn't matter how long or how much they work they get the same amount of pay.

FWIW, as one who as seen the inside of the military from a civilians POV, I can tell you they don't get paied anywhere near what they should be.

--
Aaahhhh!!!! My K5 subscription expired. Now I can't spell anymore.
[ Parent ]

This is too weird for words (4.00 / 2) (#17)
by Anonymous 242 on Fri Sep 21, 2001 at 09:55:49 PM EST

Is it Infinite Justice or . . .

Regards,

Lee Irenæus Malatesta

Hmmm... (3.00 / 1) (#27)
by Pseudonym on Sun Sep 23, 2001 at 01:32:04 AM EST

I must say, I like the sound of "Operation Wang Chung".



sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
Rejected Names (none / 0) (#32)
by libertine on Sun Sep 23, 2001 at 06:47:38 PM EST

Yeah, there were plenty of rejected names going into the shredder at the Pentagon, here are some with the authors' comments:

  • Inedible Jellybean "Lets go find some donuts."
  • Ignorant Jackasses "I can't believe the last one got rejected!"
  • Icecream Jeeps "It sounds harmless, maybe we can catch Osama off guard?"
  • Itsy-bitsy Jumpmasters "But, I heard that 82nd Airborne was deploying small units."
  • Invincible Jellyroll "Found a donut shop, finally."
  • Irritable Jesters "They kinda laughed at the last one..."
  • Icky Jawbreaker "Gotta stop spending my quarters at the base barbershop."
  • Invisible Jellyfish "Ok, we are gonna sting them when they don't expect it! Wait, they're landlocked, oh well."
  • Indomintable Jurisprudence "I actually used a dictionary today, kind of."
  • Indian Jerky "god, I need another snack, this is hard work."
  • Ill Jammin "maybe we can get better USO acts with this name..."
  • Infectious Joybuzzer "Clowns are threatening. This will work."
  • I'm Jarjar "At the base theater, thought of this one while watching this new feature here...nothing more annoying than Jarjar, it will work when I get in tomorrow around 10."





    "Live for lust. Lust for life."
    [ Parent ]
  • How do you name a war? | 35 comments (26 topical, 9 editorial, 0 hidden)
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