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Oppression TV, coming soon to your living room

By duxup in MLP
Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 06:37:26 AM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)
Humour

Are you bored living in the free world?

Do you feel left out when reading the diaries of other oppressed kuro5hin members?

When you attended the last WTO conference, were you disappointed when all your friends beaten within an inch of their life, while you were left with nothing to do but take pictures?


Well if you're missing the excitement of living in a state of totalitarianism, you may be in luck. Recent negotiations between AOL Time Warner, News Corp., and China has raised the possibility of a Chinese, state controlled, English language TV channel being widely distributed in the U.S. In exchange AOL Time Warner and News Corp. would be allowed to broadcast in limited areas of Guangdong province.

Soon you may be able to enjoy living in a totalitarian state from the comfort of your own home, just like these attractive young TV viewers:

Attractive Female: What's on TV tonight honey?

Attractive Male: Well let's see. Darn it! Friends is a rerun tonight. What are we going to watch now?

Attractive Female: How about Oppression TV?

Attractive Male: Oppression TV?

Attractive Female: Yes Oppression TV, a hip new channel brought to us by our liberators in the People's Republic of China.

Attractive Male (changes the channel): Wow this is great! Hey do you know what would go great with this?

Attractive Female: No what?

Attractive Male: Chinese food from that restaurant down the street.

Attractive Female: Actually, I think that place is Japanese.

Attractive Male: Whatever.

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o broadcast in limited areas of Guangdong province
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Oppression TV, coming soon to your living room | 14 comments (13 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)
Hooray. (3.80 / 5) (#1)
by regeya on Wed Sep 05, 2001 at 08:58:00 PM EST

In exchange for us getting Oppression TV, they get Big Brother TV. What could be better? Maybe AOL Time Warner could actually get permission to air Big Brother, which would be a riot.

[ yokelpunk | kuro5hin diary ]

I don't think that would be such a good thing... (none / 0) (#10)
by NovaHeat on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 01:50:32 PM EST

If the Chinese got their hands on episodes of "Big Brother" or any of these other "reality" shows that are all the rage now, they'd realise what a bunch of morally bankrupt, politically hypercorrect, whiny, weak, self-absorbed, stupid, annoying bunch of assholes we Americans are, and they might feel even more inclined to start launching the thermonuclear warheads across the Pacific to clean the planet of us.


-----

Rose clouds of flies.
[ Parent ]

So which side will win... (3.20 / 5) (#2)
by Kaki Nix Sain on Wed Sep 05, 2001 at 10:06:14 PM EST

... the Propoganda War. We in the U.S. have the massive media machine, trained to scientifically find the most mindnumbing and effective propoganda possible. They've got some doctrine that they have to stick to and dress up. I think we can take them.



Not to mention, (3.33 / 3) (#3)
by Dlugar on Wed Sep 05, 2001 at 10:22:15 PM EST

Plus, here in the US we've got capitalism on our side--if you can't numb the "consumer"'s brain with your propaganda, you're out of business! With such a quick survival of fittest, it's no surprise we've got the best-run, most scientifically produced media machines this world has ever seen.

Whereas, of course, if your propaganda fails in China, you can just run over the non-numbified people with tanks. Good thing that would never happen here! (Not enough non-numbified people.)

I'm wagering on McDonalds in China before the decade's end.


Dlugar

Not even I can tell whether I'm being sarcastic anymore.



[ Parent ]
McDonald's (3.00 / 1) (#8)
by pete on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 06:20:43 AM EST

I can't tell if you're serious or not, but McDonald's has been in China for a long time already.

--pete


[ Parent ]
interesting (4.00 / 4) (#4)
by spacejack on Wed Sep 05, 2001 at 10:45:26 PM EST

I don't have cable myself, but I know a few TV addicts who might enjoy the option of watching a communist propaganda feed once in a while just for the hell of it.

no marxism over Chinese media (4.33 / 3) (#12)
by anonymous cowerd on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 04:05:00 PM EST

...watching a communist propaganda feed...

While the notion that China is a hotbed of red radicalism is the standard stock-in-trade of dishonest U.S. xenophobic rabble-rousers, such as that walleyed jackass Jesse Helms (good fucking riddance you twisted racist bastard), the reality is somewhat different, as China's WTO membership and $100-billion-plus annual trade with the U.S.A. might lead you to suspect.

If you get your impression of international politics from Congressional sound-bites and the like, you may be surprised to learn that the government of mainland China has not only officially abandoned the major tenet of traditional Marxism but in keeping with their tendency not to tolerate any dissent from the official Beijing party line, they are currently suppressing certain Marxist (well, Trotskyite) journals that used to be published there.

Seems Marxism is far too revolutionary for that government! Don't want to get those billion or so low wage laborers or agricultural peasants worked up over politics or nothing like that, who knows, they might unionize or something like that, and then where goes China's price advantage in international trade?

Yours WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net

The one thing that really disturbs me about America is that people don't like to read. - Keith Richards
[ Parent ]

Sounds like a good deal (3.14 / 7) (#5)
by Blarney on Wed Sep 05, 2001 at 10:47:55 PM EST

First of all, it seems fair to me. If China refuses to allow US programs on their TV, our country's powers-that-be will grumble about "censorship" and "dictatorship". But when the United States cable and broadcast TV providers - which definitely are "government controlled" themselves (try building and operating your own unlicensed TV station) - refuse to show programs sponsored by the Chinese government, they talk about "low consumer demand" and "no market". Really, it's 6 of 1 and a half dozen of the other. If China's rulers have to put up with capitalist TV shows, our ruling class can just deal with "the Marxism-Leninism show".

I think it would be very entertaining to watch the Commie Channel. Most Americans are probably smart enough to recognize propaganda as what it is, and it'll just be another boring thing that everybody just clicks through (kind of like C-SPAN). But if it makes somebody laugh, that's even better! And if the cognitive dissonance makes somebody think, that's what good TV shows are for.

Yeah. (4.00 / 2) (#6)
by suick on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 12:06:52 AM EST

Although I think that more people will treat it like they do telemundo and univision: something odd to watch during the commercials. But don't the spanish channels have overweight 50-year-old masked wrestlers?

I just don't know if the chinese really can compete with that.

order in to with the will I around my effort sentences an i of more be fuck annoying.
[ Parent ]
Over-weight wrestlers (none / 0) (#14)
by davidduncanscott on Fri Sep 14, 2001 at 05:44:51 PM EST

Maybe where you live. Here it seems to be all about stacked blondes. I see the puppet with the mustache as a sort of David Hasselhoff.

[ Parent ]
Interesting assumption (3.33 / 3) (#9)
by ronin212 on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 01:15:43 PM EST

Most Americans are probably smart enough to recognize propaganda as what it is

You're joking, right?

If not, please explain how generation after generation of Americans continue to buy the propaganda re the "Drug Menace" and allow the government to pour billions in funds to wage a war against themselves.

--
Now is the time... get on the right side! You'll be godlike.
[ Parent ]

What???? (1.50 / 2) (#11)
by brunes69 on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 03:55:27 PM EST

Most Americans are probably smart enough to recognize propaganda as what it is

You must be off your rocker...

Hello, DMCA?? War on drugs? UCTIA? How would any of thsse cam eabout if Americans even knew what propeganda MEANT. Face it, 95% of the American population would be lucky to figure out how to program their VCR's, let alone recognize propeganda. Look at the moron they voted into office.

---There is no Spoon---
[ Parent ]

"Oppression TV" has a precedent (4.50 / 4) (#13)
by mdecerbo on Thu Sep 06, 2001 at 08:30:54 PM EST

Back during the bombing of Yugoslavia in '99, NATO threatened to bomb Yugoslav TV transmitters unless they would spend six hours a day broadcasting NATO programs.

On April 8th, '99, Radio-Television Serbia said okay-- they would give NATO six hours a day of broadcast time. All they wanted in exchange was six minutes of TV time a day in the NATO countries. This was even reported on the U.S.-operated Voice of America.

Instead NATO decided just to bomb the RTS building in downtown Belgrade, killing 16 people-- technicians, journalists, and the night crew.

At the time, British foreign secretary Robin Cook defended the bombing, claiming that it would enable the people of Yugoslavia to "learn the truth".

It's hard to equate the truth with NATO's wartime propaganda-- NATO spokesman Jamie Shea reported that that 20 schoolteachers were killed in front of their pupils, that Pristina stadium was being used as a concentration camp, that Kosovo Albanian leaders had been executed--all of which turned out to be false.

But whatever NATO's propaganda goals were, why would they have chosen to bomb a civilian target, attracting the condemnation of the International Federation of Journalists, and a lawsuit backed by the European Court of Human Rights, instead of taking six hours a day on Yugoslavia's national television network to get their message across?

It must have been the sheer terror of those six minutes a day on CNN, disrupting their propaganda machine by actually daring to imply that there was another side to the conflict.

Six minutes, sixteen lives. Scary math.



Oppression TV, coming soon to your living room | 14 comments (13 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)
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