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Flowers as deadly weapons

By M0dUluS in News
Sun Nov 11, 2001 at 01:16:06 PM EST
Tags: Humour (all tags)

The terror continues: Prince Charles barely survives deadly attack.

In a chilling indication of the un-imaginable number of potential terrorist attacks Prince Charles narrowly avoided death and dismemberment during a visit to Latvia when he was assaulted with a flower! Thankfully the law provides for a 15 year sentence for endangering a foreign dignitary.


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Prince Charles
o looks like a terrified sheep 35%
o is dropping into a kung-fu move 23%
o should be retired along with all the Royals 40%

Votes: 109
Results | Other Polls

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o death and dismemberment
o Also by M0dUluS

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Flowers as deadly weapons | 21 comments (19 topical, 2 editorial, 0 hidden)
Missing Poll Option (3.33 / 3) (#1)
by greyrat on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 04:20:26 PM EST

Looks like a really bad excuse for a monk.

As for the attacker, she looks like she could "bop" me anytime!

~ ~ ~
Did I actually read the article? No. No I didn't.
"Watch out for me nobbystyles, Gromit!"

Poll Option... (3.50 / 4) (#2)
by SvnLyrBrto on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 04:45:06 PM EST

Alfred E Newman....

Ya know??? The guy from the cover of Mad Magazine?


Imagine all the people...

Seems a long shot... (4.25 / 4) (#3)
by kaemaril on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 04:56:36 PM EST

Hell, she could have gotten lucky. You never know, Charles could have had a fatal allergy ;)

Or, far more likely, he could have died laughing.

Why, yes, I am being sarcastic. Why do you ask?

It could have been worse... (4.00 / 3) (#4)
by khym on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 07:05:19 PM EST

She could have slapped him with a trout. Then she'd probably be facing a death sentence.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why are they giving HIM grief??? (3.33 / 6) (#5)
by SvnLyrBrto on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 08:16:47 PM EST

Just why is Prince Charles being harassed and blamed for Britan's involvement in the war on terror?

As I understand the British system of government, the monarch has no real power, and is mostly there just for decoration. I thought the only power the monarchy still retains is the ceremonial power to dissolve parliment come election time.

Am I wrong? Please correct me if I am.

Add to this, that Charles is not even the monarch yet!!! Really, WHO takes the guy seriously at all? Why is HE the target for blame???


Imagine all the people...

Actually... (4.00 / 2) (#8)
by pattern on Sat Nov 10, 2001 at 11:49:01 AM EST

The reigning monarch can dissolve parliment at any time and force a re-election. This has been known to occur three times in a row.

[ Parent ]
Not quite (4.00 / 1) (#10)
by greenrd on Sat Nov 10, 2001 at 12:56:54 PM EST

In theory the last step in any bill becoming law in the UK parliament is the Queen approving it - the "Royal Assent". Theoretically the Queen could refuse to approve it, but I'm not sure what would happen if she did - anyway, it hasn't happened for a long time, as far as I know.

"Capitalism is the absurd belief that the worst of men, for the worst of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all." -- John Maynard Keynes
[ Parent ]

If she refused... (none / 0) (#21)
by gcmillwood on Mon Nov 19, 2001 at 08:13:59 AM EST

...then I think the UK would become a republic in a remarkably short length of time.

The British monarchy continues to exist because:
a) tradition says it should.
b) royalty generally make reasonable representatives to other countries (they don't do a lot else after all).

Tradition is easily overturned and you could always find more (and probably better) diplomats.

[ Parent ]
The British monarch has quite a few powers (none / 0) (#20)
by morven on Wed Nov 14, 2001 at 06:55:35 PM EST

As someone else noted, they have to approve every law passed.

They can dissolve Parliament at any time they choose.

They get to choose who the Prime Minister is, and thus the government. However, a Prime Minister cannot effectively govern without a Parliamentary majority, so there's checks and balances here.

The armed forces are sworn loyal only to the monarch and not to the British State, the Prime Minister, Parliament or anything else.

However, there is long tradition that the monarch does not exercise any of these powers.

[ Parent ]
Health? Life? (3.00 / 2) (#6)
by svampa on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 09:04:48 PM EST

This actions must be punished, government members of any nation mustn't be victims of such games. There are too many supporters of different causes, and too many bored stupids too, that could play these games and drive mad dignitaries.

But she didn't try to hurt the prince. I'm sure in Latvia there are laws against "offending a foreign dignitary" or something like that. 15 years is absurd.

This is another example of how justice changes because of politic reasons, sometimes laws are applied too severe, sometimes too light. In this case too severe for a long shot. Why? I don't know

Sheesh. (4.25 / 4) (#7)
by Kasreyn on Fri Nov 09, 2001 at 10:13:10 PM EST

Let her have tried that 400 years ago, she'd have probably been executed on the spot. Sure, I think 15 years prison for a 16 year old girl is a ludicrous sentence unless she's, say, a frothing psycho murderess, but hey, neither country involved is my own so I really have no say. Honestly, though, you know, GOOD GRIEF people! First they protest by looting and throwing rocks and get condemned and given months of probation and slaps on the wrist. Then a young girl protests by slapping someone with a flower (oh no!) and they come down on her like a ton of bricks?

That sucking sound you hear is the Latvian government, crouched on its knees in the general vicinity of Britain's crotch...

All I know is, I sure would love to see a movie file of Chuck getting smacked upside the head with a flower. He looks so surprised in that picture. ^_^


"Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgement Day:
We never asked to be born in the first place."

R.I.P. Kurt. You will be missed.
She hasn't even been tried yet! (4.00 / 2) (#11)
by Whyaduck on Sat Nov 10, 2001 at 01:10:52 PM EST

Then a young girl protests by slapping someone with a flower (oh no!) and they come down on her like a ton of bricks?
Everyone seems to think that "up to 15 years" means that she really will be given a sentence of 15 years. I know absolutely nothing about the Latvian legal system, but I imply from the words "up to," that whatever court actually tries the case will have some input on the sentence. Perhaps someone familiar with the workings of the Latvian legal system could fill us in. In the meantime, it might be good to not assume that the young woman has already been tried, convicted and sentenced.

Regarding the woman's action, wow, what a dumb thing to do. Anyone who's politically prominent is likely to be quite on edge right now...as will be his or her security team. It's a good thing for her that Chuck's bodyguards didn't assume the worst. Besides, if she really wanted to make a point, she would have used a cream pie.

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
and a torso even more so.

[ Parent ]

Kind of funny (4.33 / 3) (#13)
by Sheepdot on Sat Nov 10, 2001 at 08:24:04 PM EST

What the hell is her message supposed to be?

It's a flower, symbolizing peace right?

But she slapped him with it, is aggression with a flower a peace thing too?

Slap-dragon. (none / 0) (#17)
by BooBoo on Wed Nov 14, 2001 at 10:09:32 AM EST

Well, maybe she's into S/M or something and it was a way of showing good ole Chucky that she wanted him BAD! :0)

On tattoos: FUCK YEAH, IT HURTS!!!

[ Parent ]

Well... (none / 0) (#18)
by epepke on Wed Nov 14, 2001 at 11:30:25 AM EST

This is, after all, someone who is stupid enough not to realize that Prince Charles isn't the one in control of the armed forces. About the only thing they let him get involved in is architecture. The British royal family no longer exist for the purpose of wielding real power.

So, you can't expect particularly high intelligence in the realm of symbolism.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.--Terry Pratchett

[ Parent ]
Stanley Kubric's take on the issue (5.00 / 1) (#19)
by JonesBoy on Wed Nov 14, 2001 at 03:21:30 PM EST

Do you remember Full Metal Jacket?

COLONEL Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
JOKER A peace symbol, sir.
COLONEL Where'd you get it?
JOKER I don't remember, sir.
COLONEL What is that you've got written on your helmet?
JOKER "Born to Kill," sir.
COLONEL You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!
JOKER No, sir.
COLONEL You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you!
JOKER Yes, sir.
COLONEL Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
JOKER I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
COLONEL The what?
JOKER The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
COLONEL Whose side are you on, son?
JOKER Our side, sir.

Speeding never killed anyone. Stopping did.
[ Parent ]
Smart (2.00 / 2) (#14)
by jmj on Sun Nov 11, 2001 at 06:02:16 AM EST

At least she was smart enough not to try it on John Prescott...

So..what. She gets to go free? (3.50 / 2) (#15)
by JazzManJim on Mon Nov 12, 2001 at 01:50:36 AM EST

Yeah, well....15 years is pretty harsh, but as I read the article, that's the maximun sentence for a charge under that statute. And, not being an expert in Latvian law, I'm at a loss to say if they have a more appropriate charge. I'm betting they don't. They could probably go for simple assault, which is what I would have opted to use, but like I said, I'm no expert.

Regardless, she should get something for what she did. After all, flower or not, you can't let people just smack your high officials, or anyone else, for that matter.

"Hostility toward America is a religious duty, and we hope to be rewarded for it by God...I am confident that Muslims will be able to end the legend of the so-called superpower that is America."
(Osama bin Laden - 10 Jan 1999)
Oh yeah? (4.00 / 1) (#16)
by finial on Tue Nov 13, 2001 at 12:36:54 PM EST

You'd be singing a different tune if that flower had been loaded.

Flowers as deadly weapons | 21 comments (19 topical, 2 editorial, 0 hidden)
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