I think the dog psychiatrist is right. I'm not a dog owner myself, (Instead I have cats, which some people claim are harder to understand) but I haven't ever met anyone who couldn't tell what their pets wanted.
I realize this is nothing but personal anecdotal evidence, but are there really people out there with dogs, who have no idea when their dog is unhappy? I sure haven't met any. Live with a pet long enough, and you know exactly what they mean when they bark, meow, chirp, (or whatever weird noise your pet makes) at you.
As for recieving updates on your dog over your cell phone: Come on. Is that really something you want to bother with? It's just a pet. People are bad enough, you really want fido paging you because he's lonely?
It all reminds me of the old Far Side cartoon, (by Gary Larson, sorry that I have no link) displaying a scientist with a device such as this, and "hearing" the translation of every dog bark on the street coming out as different variations on "HEY!"
"I'm having sex right now?" - Joh3n